Is it Really Possible to Avoid All Suffering? | 30 Day Video Challenge 8 of 30

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by Melody Fletcher on May 8, 2017

 

So, in yesterday’s video, I talked about how my willingness to still put up with some suffering led to me getting some chemical burns on my scalp during an appointment at the hairdresser. You heard me say that I no longer really put up with discomfort, which caused some confusion. Wasn’t it necessary and even helpful to sit with and allow discomfort? Haven’t you heard me say that?

It turns out that I managed to be a bit confusing on the topic yesterday, so today’s video is aimed to clear it all up.  There’s a difference between suffering and discomfort. One is helpful, the other one is decidedly not (and not necessary). I also may have disclosed a bit too much. And I’ve clearly got a taste for it now. Revealing embarrassing tidbits from my personal life seems to be par for the course now… Oh well! Let me know if I got too far, would you? The filters seem to be gone now and I’m just having more and more fun. Weeeee!

You can watch the scandalous video below. Ha.

 

 

{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

April May 8, 2017 at 22:08

Looove this!! Okay, okay, for a long time, I struggled to grasp an emotion around a subject, mainly because I would either put up a fight (COME @ ME), dwell on it, or run away from it… Recently, though, I told myself to pay more attention to how I feel, to just be observant, and finally, I realized what the resistance was around the subject… It was the thought that I couldn’t have what I want because I didn’t know how to get it. It’s such a simple thing that I probably could’ve realized sooner had I actually allowed myself to, but I’m not gonna beat myself up over that.

I’ve addressed that a bit since then, and this video echos what it was I told myself. I’m not required to know the how right off the bat to get what I want, of course. The Universe doesn’t demand that. Like you said, all we have to do is be open to the fact that there is a solution, and that there is an easy way for us to get what we want. We aren’t limited to working with what’s in front of us only. I’m becoming more accustomed to listening to my own voice, but, it always helps to hear these things from someone who really gets it. I appreciate it. Thanks again!

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Alex May 8, 2017 at 22:31

Hey Melody!!!

Love this video series!

I put up with obsessing over and trying to perfect my career goals and creative goals. I put myself through stress and see just two options. I tell myself I can work hard, be organizedand get results, and if I’m not I’ll end up all over the place, inactive, and at a standstill. But of course there are never just two options!

I’m no longer going to put up with suffering to live my dreams and make them a reality! Putting some good loving energy into my creative and financial goals!

Love you!
Alex

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Catherine May 8, 2017 at 22:34

Hi Melody,

I’m loving these video series!!

Hearing you say that there are hair removal techniques that don’t have to be painful has made me think about the whole “beauty is pain” myth that we’ve grown up with. As I’ve noticed my first grey hairs and fine lines it makes me wonder why we have to age at all. We spend so much time and money trying to maintain our youthful appearance because we prefer that we look a certain way. Some methods, like hair dye, aren’t painful (unless they’re showing you why you’re willing to put up with something haha) but other methods like facelifts and botox do have pain associated with them. And so what if we want to decide to look a certain way without having to put up with pain? Why can’t we decide we want beautiful smooth skin without having surgery? Why can’t we decide that we don’t want grey hair, thank you very much. What if we love our natural colour and don’t want to loose it? Well maybe we can keep our hair the colour we like with having to dye it. I know it’s not suffering, but it is a level of annoyance that maybe we don’t want to put up with. And years of being told this is just what the aging process does has made us believe that it has to happen this way. So these last two videos have shown me that I’ll be changing my thoughts around that.

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Carla Hamilton May 9, 2017 at 09:34

I love your comment,I feel the same way. Since i create my reality, why do I have to have an “aging process” at all.

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Catherine May 10, 2017 at 01:37

Hey Carla!

Look what we manifested… http://jezebel.com/scientists-are-working-to-end-gray-hairs-for-good-1795053998

I had to laugh when I came across this article. It really is amazing what manifests when you’re open to it

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Solace May 8, 2017 at 23:16

The first few things which popped in my head :)
Your panic attack analogy seemed like the one where you go to a haunted house and say either show yourself or hold your peace and let me sleep. Meaning i am not afraid to step into my fears…let them show me what they need to show me..but i notice that the energy in this case feels exhilarating and maybe a little challenging and scary.
The energy mentioned in cases where you bear something to get a certain pay-off (to use your words) seems stifling and this has been my aha moment..or more like a soothing reminder. My tolerance for that kind of stifling/stagnant energy has gone down..
I think if we are expecting discomfort then pre-paving could be a way to go.
Currently, i keep getting this sublime message..let it go..don’t fight it.
I wear gladiators anyway to channel my inner spartan..woohoo
Is there a recording i can purchase of your live session in New York..i remember that very well when you posted about it..(also i don’t know why i suddenly got this image of you trying on Louboutins and a dress for a wedding :)
Have a nice day everyone!

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Isabelle May 8, 2017 at 23:17

Great clarification! And it’s easy to be in the habit of putting up with things and therefor not even be aware that this isn’t needed. Great videos to alert us to that mindset it’s consequences. Thanks

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Merja May 8, 2017 at 23:56

You are probably right. There must be a way to get what I want without suffering. And I believe that acknowledging our feelings is a useful thing (it makes them go away). But! But I still believe there must something behind the suffering I choose to feel. I meet all these kind and helpful people I never would have met before and made some lifestyle changes I never would have done before. I believe this suffering was the easiest way to go and to learn what I needed to learn. Would I have it go away? Sure. But I have come to turns with it and am surrendering myself to it like you did for your panic attacks. I just have to believe this is happened for me to take next step I wasn’t otherwise willing to take. And that only good will come from this. Thank you for your great inside on this subject!
Merja invites you to read..Make Some LemonadeMy Profile

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Isabelle May 8, 2017 at 23:59

Great clarification, Melody!
And putting up with pain is something I’ve slipped into doing without realizing it, way too often, so these are both good reminder videos for me.
I enjoy your sense of humor and find it extra amusing that the poo examples are usually perfect for clarifying a point and lightening up the subjects at the same time! Humor is a great mood uplifter. As an alternative to sitting with some of our unhappy feelings, especially if we’re prone to just sinking into despair, can we laugh, giggle and joke our way into a higher vibration instead sometimes?

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Becci May 9, 2017 at 00:01

Awesome videos, loves this one. Especially the message we don’t have to suffer. Keep it going love it x

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MJ May 9, 2017 at 02:45

Thank you

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andy May 9, 2017 at 07:10

Hi Melody

Not sure what I put up with , although I’m sure there is stuff but there is quite a few things I decided not put up with any longer over last 10 years while on my journey . I know people who put up with a job they hate for the end payout whereas I would definitely not do that anymore , I have to be happy with what I do.
Continuing to learn about myself since finding you … I love this place

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Melody Fletcher May 9, 2017 at 17:17

And this place loves you Andy. :)

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Bobby May 9, 2017 at 07:37

Hi Melody, is it possible for you to say more about how you hear from your guides? Do you get thoughts that you know are not coming from you? Can you help me know who my guides are and how to hear them?

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Melody Fletcher May 9, 2017 at 17:17

Sure Bobby. I’ve added this topic to the list. :)

Smooches,

Melody

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Suzanna May 9, 2017 at 07:47

I’ve put up with living in a city/state I don’t want to live in, mainly because I can’t figure out where to move. Every year, I tell myself I’ll move and go through the same futile process of trying to figure out where to go. I know i sound crazy, but moving is a big decision that costs a lot of money. I don’t want to make a mistake. While I was writing this, I just realized not wanting to make mistakes seems to keep me stuck in a lot of areas of my life.

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Solace May 9, 2017 at 09:13

Interesting point S..my job allows me to work from anywhere..so i kept on thinking of moving to Bali..felt excited then wondered is it too cliche..you know going the eat pray love route. Then i decided to start finding good things in my current place of stay..it is a soft and very subtle process and now i feel quite okay with where i am and have left it to the universe to show me the way. Just wanting to say here..don’t be too hard on yourself and let go.
Hope u soon move to the city u love :)

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Jessica May 9, 2017 at 09:24

Thank you Melody! This video was so helpful to me. The distinction you expressed in the video between the discomfort of sitting with our feelings and discomfort that is coming from outside ourselves brought me more clarity and validation to what I’m experiencing in my life now. I’ve been going deeper into inner child work so although challenging giving space for those parts to feel and express and release is healing. One example of outside discomfort that I did put up with is exercise or a yoga practice that hurt or caused injuries to my body. I talked to my husband, higher self and guides that I will only practice yoga or excercise that is loving, respectful and nurturing to my body and it is manifesting. I have one teacher that I always enjoyed and her teaching is evolving as I was putting my intention out there into what I was asking for.

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Carla Hamilton May 9, 2017 at 09:29

Great video, and I get what you are saying. As far as panic attacks, I felt them for a short time years ago. And in listening to your video two things came to my awareness,1. At that time, I had a belief that they were a reality, and 2. I was internally shifting and feeling all these energy surges running through my body. I now am thinking it was probably “Ascension” symptoms I was feeling.

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Jessica May 9, 2017 at 09:34

Hi Melody, I also wanted to tell you I’m enjoying all of your videos. The video “You are not an inconvenience” really resonated. It was helpful and scary for me. I’m very uncomfortable leaving comments. This is only my third comment in years.

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Melody Fletcher May 9, 2017 at 17:15

Well done Jessica! And thank you for adding your voice and energy to this blog. I so appreciate you. :)

Smooshy hugs,

Melody

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Jessica May 9, 2017 at 20:36

Thank you Melody! Smooshy hugs back to you.??

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Marcella May 9, 2017 at 10:01

Hi there everyone,

Thanks so much for being you Melody. I’m loving the daily videos and having recently qualified as a beauty therapist, this latest learning tool resonates! I like reminding myself that, if even for a moment, I’m feeling a dark, heavy feeling in my belly, it’s 100% because in this moment, this powerful now where all of my power lies, I’m CHOOSING a low vibrational thought that source has the opposite opinion about. Even just thinking that brings me relief and it’s fun to feel around for what source’s opinion might be about the same subject. I loved your post the other day about not apologising for ourselves or feeling our preferences are somehow less important than others. It takes courage and self worth to fully be ourselves and allowing our world to reflect that back to us. It’s an adventure, thinking about who I am, what would I like to do and let that be paramount. Let that be the dominant vibration in my day, in my moment.

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Melissa May 9, 2017 at 10:28

Mmm… yes, great question!! I am aware that I have placed some value on my suffering, that if something is hard to attain, then the reward is higher, it is more valuable, etc. I like working hard for my manifestations and I’m attached to the struggle and the longing. And these limiting beliefs have also kept me safe from failure and disappointment and rejection, etc. Thanks but I don’t want them anymore!!! I’ll keep on, leaning into the lessons in the feelings. Thank you Melody!! Xoxo

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Isabel Martins May 9, 2017 at 13:36

LOL! There’s no one like you out there, on the LOA world, that’s for sure! Poo metaphors AND saying they will stick with you! MEGA LOL! :D Loooooove you! And, of course, love the message too!
Isabel Martins invites you to read..GOAL FOCUS IN A WHOLE NEW WAY (NO WORDS, PT 2)My Profile

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GERALDINE ARCHBOLD-SHORE May 9, 2017 at 15:24

This challenge has come at just the right time for me (duh – LOA!) but everything you are saying is really resonating – lots! REALLY taken on board the issues for me around worthiness / suffering and finally feel like I am realising some long held beliefs as a result of what you are saying each day. Finally! Also loving your relaxed approach to the F-word – great fan of a few expletives to better make a point!

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Jennifer May 9, 2017 at 15:28

I had an epiphany while watching this video about my needing to change this thought with relationships. I’ve always had a lot of pain and suffering in relationships, so much that I’ve learned to expect love to be hard. This was a HUGE wake up call for me, and would love to see a video done about staying in relationships while putting up with suffering or pain, thinking the payoff will be worth it. I’m sure many others would benefit also. Thank you!!

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Lisa May 9, 2017 at 19:50

I’m playing catch up today on the challenge – and this video was PERFECT timing!!

For the past week or so, I’ve been embracing some negativity towards a specific person that I’ve bottled up. In the past, I kept trying to just ignore how I felt, and suffer in silence. I’ve let this person disrespect me, but always sat back and said “but it’s ok because things will get better.” Well, last week, I got fed up of that, and just embraced my anger and outrage. And while it may not be “happy shiny puppy” behaviour – it feels pretty good! And this video was that final release for me of all the garbage that accumulated within me. I don’t need to suffer – I don’t need to put up with crappy situations. I can feel my anger in the moment and decide to do things differently, rather than bottle it up and build resentment. It seems so simple now – but this was a huge ah-ha moment for me!

Thank you so much!!

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Heather May 13, 2017 at 00:06

This may sound weird but omg thanks for the poop metaphor:D I’ve been trying to figure out the difference for ages. There’s always that point where I realize “now I should know whether to walk away or push forward” and I mostly get it right by guessing, without any real understanding about the underlying principle. From this day on I never have to wonder, yay!

Another, unrelated note: I used to only read your video transcripts and very rarely watch the videos themselves. I used to wonder why it was somehow uncomfortable for me to watch the videos. Well now I obviously have no choice since there are no transcripts, and I realized today that I don’t get that uncomfortable feeling anymore. I also think I found a reason: when you were doing the videos once per week or twice per month, you were always somehow a little stiff and nervous. Not a lot, but enough for me to notice and I had trouble focusing on what you said because I started to feel nervous too. Now, most likely because you’re doing the videos every day, you are starting to be completely natural and relaxed. You’re glowing in a way I’ve only seen on the Africa video. So I think I can imagine what a challenge this truly is to you, maybe you had some resistance towards vlogs and you decided to give yourself a shock-treatment out of that resistance?If so, I love it, and it’s definitely working:)

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Melody Fletcher May 13, 2017 at 16:58

That’s really interesting feedback Heather. Thanks! I didn’t actually realize that I was stiff, and didn’t feel nervous. But something was off. That’s why I took a break from publishing. I had to figure it out. I’ve leveled up again now, and I’m being even more authentic. Looks like you felt it before I did. Thanks for the validation that I’m getting it more and more. :)

Sending you huge hugs!

Melody

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Carlie May 16, 2017 at 11:34

Hi Melody…I listened to this video the day you released it and then this morning I had the message pop back into my head as I asked myself a question. I have recently decided I wanted to go to the animal shelter and take dogs for walks. Last week I went there and there was one dog that was left in it’s kennel, before I knew it my daughter had her out of the kennel and we were taking it for a walk, although, the intention was to just go to the shelter and inquire about dog walking. Long story short, the dog was very difficult to walk. She was strong and pulled me along. I had to hang onto the leash with both hands and dig my feet into the ground. Ever since this experience I haven’t wanted to go back and walk the dogs again. I had to ask myself why and then the message from your video popped into my head. I was experiencing something that I had intended to be enjoyable as not enjoyable. I felt bad for the dog that I walked, as I felt that I should want to walk this high strung animal…to help her get the exercise that she needs…after all isn’t that why I was doing this? Anyhow the message that came to me this morning was that I should go back to the shelter and walk a dog that is easier to manage and that I don’t have to take on situations that are very challenging and don’t feel good. I’m learning that if something feels uncomfortable, to either walk away or adjust it. Thanks for the resonance :)

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Sim June 8, 2017 at 19:03

I remember that incredible post you wrote on anxiety. I recall seeing a burning house as a result of a spider. That was a great post!! You knew so much even back then!

It helped me so much to get over anxiety. I think I was so cute and vulnerable that I used to listen to your voice at night to help me get through that very dark stage. I’m perfectly fine now. Actually I’m up there where life is amazing (even with a teenager lol)

You are my amazing conduit to a wonderful awesome life! I’m glad I picked you to shine the light for me.

Yay to more space in the comments!

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