The Third Choice (My TEDx Talk!!)

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by Melody Fletcher on November 17, 2016

 

As some of you may recall, I was invited to Warsaw, Poland last May to fulfill one of my absolute Bucket List Items: giving a TED Talk. If you’re not familiar with TED Talks, please crawl out from the rock you’ve obviously been living under and google it (just kidding if this is really you, except about the googling it. Definitely do that, pronto.)

Now, TED, as an organization, isn’t really all that Woo-Woo. You can be inspirational, but talking about energy and vibration and the Law of Attraction just wasn’t going to fly. And yet, watering my message down in any way (or “dumbing it down”) also really didn’t feel good to me. So, what to do? Well, I found a way to present one of the most important lessons I teach in a way that Muggles (people who don’t yet realize just how powerful they are, and aren’t into any of this reality creation stuff) could understand and even apply. It was truly one of the most awesome moments of my life. I was so excited, I literally couldn’t stand still (watch the video, you’ll see what I mean. I look like I have to pee. It’s not pee. It’s awesomeness wanting to squish out).

I presented a metaphor (surprise! Me, using a metaphor… imagine that!) and then a process that has proven to be life changing for many of my private coaching clients. I hope it brings you the same clarity.

And now, without further ado, let me present to you my TEDx Talk, recorded live, all the way from Warsaw Poland:

 

 

Why not leave me a comment below and let me know what you thought!!!

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Coaching Call #231 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: How Can She Stop Being a Control Freak and Release Her Fears?

This caller is a self confessed control freak both in her professional and personalife. She has a tendency to analyze what’s going on around her which brings up her fears that she has to suffer to get what she wants. She believes that if she can control a situation, then she can ensure that everything will go the way it should. But is this true and is this how reality really works?

This call explains why we have a need to control things and it also explains about the fight or flight mechanism that our brains go to in times of stress. We explore how to give your fears a voice which will help you to line up your energy, stop the need to be a control freak and get you on your way to creating the reality you truly want.

If you want to let go of the need to control and also release your fears then this call is for you.

Read the full call summary here.

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{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

Brandon November 17, 2016 at 20:12

Great talk, Melody!

I love how you were able to slip in the LOA, without really calling it the LOA. :)

I love the metaphor of the wise elder. As you say, it’s all about claiming your power from within. The other two are just depending on the outside. The “prisoner” gives away their power, in the hope of perhaps getting some in return later on. The “rage warrior” takes the power forcefully, because they are so insecure that they don’t know that they don’t need more power than they already have within themselves.
Brandon invites you to read..How to Use Everyday Rituals to Achieve Your GoalsMy Profile

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Jasmine November 17, 2016 at 20:39

Heeyyyyy =]

Is this video gonna be transcribed?

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Melody Fletcher November 17, 2016 at 21:30

Hey Jasmine,

I don’t own this video, but we can look into it. HOWEVER, it already has closed captions. Does that help?

Hugs,

Melody

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Jasmine November 17, 2016 at 21:49

Yes! I understood almost everything!! The captions is almost perfect!!!!

That was a simple, but GREAT talk!

Thank you so much!

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Judy Howe November 17, 2016 at 20:44

Congratulations on your very first TED talk! The subject matter was very timely for me, as my Rage Warrior has been pretty active since Nov. 8. I have kind of landed back in the middle on my own, now, and have been receptive to ideas for new ways to neutralize bullies. They’ve been coming fast yet gentle, like bubbles in champagne, and I’m going to choose to believe what you say. I want very much to be successful in helping the children in my community deal with challenges that to them are becoming ugly.
I have to say, being used to your videos, the TED presentation felt to me a little dramatic. You may have been very excited. : ) Great work, though.

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Melody Fletcher November 17, 2016 at 21:35

Hey Judy,

This speech was the most prepared for one I’d ever done. You have a very strict time limit, and every word counts… I also wanted to make sure I didn’t speak too quickly, so I slowed down a bit, which was good for non-English speakers, but may have made it feel a bit more stilted if you’re used to my much faster, normal style. :)

Helping kids, both the bullies and the victims (because they are two sides of the same energy coin) CONSTRUCTIVELY work through anger will help them tremendously. It will help them step into their power and find that third choice – where they actually get what they need and what they truly want.

Keep in touch and let me know how it goes, and if there’s anything I can do to help you help the kids, don’t hesitate to give me a shout. :)

Huge hugs,

Melody

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Karen November 30, 2016 at 07:45

Hey Melody,

Congrats on your first Ted Talk..it was great! I do have a question about children and bullies..I have 9 y/o twin boys who have a boy at school they loath..He is a bully by definition..every year it is an issue..After Thanksgiving my one son was crying Sunday night because he didn’t want to go back he was so upset…It breaks my heart he has to feel this way in 4th grade..any help or suggestions would be great..Thanks!

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Diia November 17, 2016 at 21:04

Melody, I loved it!!! Congratulations on giving such an awesome talk! Also, today I read many parts in your book again and it brought me so much clarity and comfort. I was thinking about accepting a job offer and I kept focusing on the one negative aspect of the job and then I read your book. Coincidentally, I got exactly what I needed from it to move on. Thank you!!! XOXO

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Stacie November 17, 2016 at 21:41

Congratulations on checking off a bucket-list item in grand style, Melody! This is a great talk for me, because I’ve found myself trying really hard to see a third choice from my prison cell window. Then, when I catch a glimpse of blue sky or hear a bird chirping, I get pissed that I can’t fully experience it. I’m going to have a grand time tonight mentally punching people in the face, rear-ending tailgaters, and sicking my imaginary dog on the idiot who decided to use our backyard as his private motorbike trail. I’m smiling already…

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NATALIA November 18, 2016 at 04:54

Congrats Melody. I’m super excited for you! Thanks for showing what’s possible :-) TED talk has been on my desire list too, so now at least I know one person who has actually done it – YOU! Love your paradigm of the third choice and wonder if one can use it for positive situations too.. Like I wanna a better house – imagine to live in a house that is out of reach in this moment – then find the third choice to implement. What do you think?

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Viv November 18, 2016 at 05:07

So much energy whew!
I like,the analogy/metaphor you used. so cool. Choosing to reach for better thoughts and feelings helps. Yep. LOA is freakin’ awesome. I’ll vouch for that.
thanks for the video!

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Amber November 18, 2016 at 05:44

Yay Melody! Loved the Tedx Talk! Congratulations!!!!

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Rachel November 18, 2016 at 05:56

I really needed that reminder, thank you!!! ????

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Rachel November 18, 2016 at 05:58

For some reason all my smiley faces turn into question marks in the comments box!

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Maggie Shayne November 18, 2016 at 06:00

You kicked ass, Melody! Way to go on your very first TedTalk. I’m so thrilled for you!
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Serena Statler November 18, 2016 at 07:10

Melody,

I had opportunity to view your first Ted talk. Well done and very helpful!

Serena

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Rose McClement November 18, 2016 at 09:42

HI there Melody – congrats on being able to get to the place where you can tick off another bucket list manifestation. Listening to your animated talk, was like watching a one man play. I guess if you ask any actor, they will tell you that holding the stage on your own for a one man play, ain’t for the fainthearted. Well done – I reckon from the looks on their faces, the intermittent responses, you had them pretty spell bound. Here’s looking at you kid – with more coming and with the spreading of your message far and wide. You are an inspiration to me and my bucket list. In fact, I am in such a place of longing at the moment – longing to do the type of energy work you do – reading the person’s energy. Getting behind the scenes and the words etc. I’m on my way – slowly, surely and tentatively to start with. Take care. thank you, thank you, thank you.
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Vini November 18, 2016 at 11:39

Congratulations Melody! For the bucket list item and a great one at that. Loved your talk. Was kinda tearing up a little because of the emotion it generated in me. I have left the prisoner role, but More often I feel I am in the raging warrior role. I don’t wanna bow down so I resist and take rigid stances. And you are spot on that doesn’t feel good either because it has the energy of tuning others out for my own reasons. Now I have to get to the center and trust that it will be win-win. The only way I see right now is that if I let go my warrior role, I will be taken into the prison again. But that’s what I need to work on. Thanks again! Great talk.

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Lizzzzzz November 18, 2016 at 13:06

Congratulations. What an awesome accomplishment and what a great talk.

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Cordy November 18, 2016 at 14:13

Whoo hoo! Great talk, Melody!

I’m going to try this right now. I’ve realized that the Trump win is really activating my fear, and it’s activating my fear because I don’t really believe that I can choose to create my own reality on this level, I’ve discovered. So I do indeed feel trapped and fearful – I’ve managed to find moments of peace and detachment, but I think the fear and prisoner-feelings are still there. I’m going to try fantasizing about my Rage Warrior. :)

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Danielle November 18, 2016 at 16:12

Melody, you are so inspired and inspiring! I got goosebumps from the start. I am so appreciative to be here, aware of you :)

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bernie November 18, 2016 at 17:09

hi Melody ‘the third choice’- totally nailed it well done!!! sending you hug hugs and so much love.. so so proud of you..and as always inspired, walking the walk and being willing to be seen!! Bernie xx

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overwhelmed November 18, 2016 at 18:42

I love how you spoke about the third way Melody. I need help finding that alternative path. And it’a a strong desire of mine to book a session with you when you have new openings.

I admit that by writing this comment and getting out how I’m really feeling that I will attract more of what I don’t want to me. But keeping it in just doesn’t feel good either.

A question I have is, how much do we need to focus on the how and how much do we need to focus on the end result? For example, I want to move to another country. Whenever I go to research possible ways to move, I feel really overwhelmed and stressed out by how I will do this. From where I am now, I can’t figure out how I’ll make it happen. Would it be a good idea just to focus on the end result of me living there? I’m afraid if I just do that, I’ll slow things down and end up not moving for a long time.

If I want to find a boyfriend/husband, should I just focus on the end result as well? Seeing myself with him already in a loving relationship and not worrying how we’ll meet? Our meeting and other how’s brings up a lot of resistance, as I cannot currently come up with any ideas that feel feasible or don’t make feel sick to my stomach.

Another question: how do you stop being lazy and procrastinating? And how do you stop beating yourself up for procrastinating and not reaching your daily goals? I’ve been slipping a bit with my vocal and songwriting practice and have been feeling guilty about it. These last few weeks have felt crazy for me with a new job, changes in when I can practice and just feeling very physically and emotionally tired. There have also been some deep personal issues that have taken the forefront of my mind. I’ve been really stressed and worried, spending a lot of time figuring out solutions to my problems. I’ve been so stressed out about trying to make more money so I can move and afford what I need to buy to make the music I want to make. My focus on music hasn’t been as strong as it normally is.

I keep taking whatever small steps I can here and now to achieve my goals, but I feel like I’m not doing as much as I should. I feel like I’ve been slacking off and distracted due to other things on my mind.

I guess I just feel overwhelmed by everything that’s been happening and guilty for not spending more time on what I should be doing to get myself closer to where I want to be. I feel so stressed out and weighed down, I often want to just break down and cry. I can’t take it anymore. I feel like I can’t do it all, like I can’t keep up with the same long practice sessions and still balance everything else in my life that needs to be attended to.

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Melody Fletcher November 20, 2016 at 19:11

Hey Overwhelmed,

You’re working way too hard at this. No wonder you’re tired.

Take a break. Relax. Rest. Stop pushing yourself to make everything happen. Here’s the very simple formula:

1. Figure out what you really want. The end game. What makes your heart sing
2. Focus on that and allow yourself to feel what it’s like to already have what you want. To be living it.
3. Give yourself permission to believe that it actually will happen, even if you don’t know how it will come about
4. Give up the idea that you have to or can make this happen. Let yourself off the hook.
5. Go have fun. Follow your bliss (even if you have no idea how this blissful thing might be connected to the bigger picture. Trust that it is).

Back off and find your joy again. Your reality is a reflection of your energetic state. That means, that the better you feel, truly, the more fun and easy your life will get. Stop pushing and take a break. Take a joy break. See what happens. :)

I hope that helps.

Huge hugs,

Melody

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overwhelmed November 21, 2016 at 18:14

Hey Melody,
Thank you for your detailed response. I know I should just trust and I really want to, but it’s extremely difficult when there are so many voices in my head telling me that I must practice X number of hours for X days a week, no exceptions. Or I must be taking action everyday towards my goals and have to make a plan to follow without exception. I really want to just let myself off the hook though. In many respects, I really can’t see how I will get to where I want to be, so just trusting is probably the best idea, even if it freaks me out. My desires are really important to me though and just letting go is not easy. Do you know when you will have any openings for coaching?

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anonymous November 20, 2016 at 15:56

Hey Melody:
First thanks for the talk.. Great new point of view. Second is there a link to this on ted.com? If there is what is it? Again thanks.

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Melody Fletcher November 20, 2016 at 18:57

Hey Anonymous,

It looks like this entire event hasn’t yet been uploaded to the TEDx site. I’ll keep my eye out for it though.

Hugs!

Melody

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YB at raise-frequency November 23, 2016 at 00:34

Congratulations Melody on your Ted Talk. That is a great accomplishment to be on that stage. Great talk with the pendulum metaphor to get to the choice of a higher vibrational frequency through awareness , win-win mind-set and higher perspective.
Elegant way to talk about some aspects of the Law of Attraction without mention it.
You are a dynamic speaker! Continue to rock!

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Karin November 23, 2016 at 14:06

That was a great talk Melody, you’re such a good speaker :) Congrats!!!

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Farrah November 27, 2016 at 19:55

Hi Melody!
How awesome to witness you giving a talk to a live audience! I can’t get over how much you rocked that. Clearly you were channeling some amazing energy and I could really feel that on my end. Is that how you are just able to speak so smoothly without reading notes? Just wonderful. You must have been absolutely buzzing by the time you were done! I love the idea of a third choice and have really just started to grasp that concept. It’s like we’re viewing our lives through binoculars and sometimes just can’t see something that may be a few feet outside of the frame yet. (But it’s real, it’s a choice and it’s there!). I love that idea and it makes me feel more free to imagine that.
When it comes to relationships…if we have attracted someone (and married them), but we desire certain qualities that we may see in someone else…is it better to visualize our partner acting the way we would like or just focus on the other person and pretend (in our mind) that they are our current partner? I know there is a “third choice” that would benefit us all the most and just knowing that gives me hope and makes me excited, and I’m just wondering if we just have to focus on the situation that feels the best regardless and not worry about anything else?..:)

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Z November 28, 2016 at 14:23

Okay, this is too much of a coincidence. I just got inspired to watch your old video “How People Manifest What They Want While Bitching and Complaining”. The date of uploading is 29th of November, and you mentioned in the video that it had been your birthday yesterday. So it means it’s your birthday today? And the Universe inspired me to watch this video precisely today? lol

Happy birthday, Melody!! :D I hope you have a lot of fun today!

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Z November 29, 2016 at 23:13

Btw, I’ve been wondering… You haven’t written a blog post in a looooong time. I mean, videos + transcriptions are one thing, and are great, but actually writing is another thing. Judging by your past blog posts, you were a passionate writer. You loved expressing yourself by writing, and you would also include a lot of jokes, sarcasm and some nice swearing. So, what happened? Did your passion for writing die?

Also, you announced many cool updates coming to this website, but it all looks like this website is dying. Posts are coming less frequently, you gave up on writing, there is minimum interaction with people, no updates happening. Am I just imagining things, or what? :) just wondering~

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kelli December 1, 2016 at 18:06

Hey Melody
A bit late to the party…I was unplugged for a bit at a meditation retreat and slowly easing back into the online world–it felt good to be off for a bit. Anyway, I watched this and it was great. You did a great job of discussing LOA and reality creation without using the ‘forbidden’ terms ;) Such an awesome accomplishment. Congratulations on all your successes!
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