Should You Focus On Your Own Wealth Or Take Care Of Others?

Post image for Should You Focus On Your Own Wealth Or Take Care Of Others?

by Melody Fletcher on July 28, 2016

 

We’d all love to have more abundance; right? More money, more time and more freedom. I mean who would say no to that? But what if your goal of abundance is in conflict with your desire to help someone, or with your obligation to take care of someone else? Is there a way to make that choice, and do you even have to? Watch today’s video to find out!

************************************

Coaching Call #215 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: How Can She Learn To Trust That Everything Will Work Out For Her?

This caller made the decision to separate from her husband and she is both excited and anxious about what to do next. She feels this anxiety from the moment she gets up and she’s concerned, because she thinks she’s doing something wrong. She is afraid that she won’t align her energy with a reality that feels good to her.

Why is she feeling this anxiety after making a decision that made her feel good? What is the Universe showing her and how can she learn to trust that what she wants will come into her reality?

This call is for you if you’re finding it difficult to trust that you can align your energy and have the reality that you truly want.

Read the full call summary here.

************************************

Today’s Video

Transcript

Today’s LOA question comes from Awesome Thaís, who asks:

“What I’d like to clarify, is the subject of feeling responsible for other peoples’ financial well-being. For example, I’m only 24 years old, but I feel very deeply responsible for supporting my mom, especially since I got an education and now earn more than she does. I live with her and she doesn’t seem to care much about improving her own finances, not like I do. I think this question may also apply to people who have children. So, how can I reach for my financial freedom without being selfish and depriving her of a better life? I realise this has a limiting belief underneath, of course, but I’d like to balance my strong desire to be wealthy for myself and my fear of being selfish, ungrateful and to hurt a person so important as my mom, as I understand that working towards wealth involves some sacrifice.”

Well Awesome Thaís, yes, there are some limiting beliefs in here; so let’s take a look at some of those. First of all, why do you accept that working towards wealth involves sacrifices, particularly in the way that you mean “sacrifice”?  Maybe you think you will have to Ramen Noodle it for a few years, or you will have to live with your mom for a few years in order for you to get your wealth up. Those are limiting beliefs. What makes you think the Universe doesn’t have some other path you can take to make those things happen, or to allow those things to happen, which is a much more accurate way of putting it.

You are not obligated to take care of anyone

Another belief in there, is that it’s your obligation now to take care of your mother. It’s not. It might be your desire to take care of her, but it’s not your obligation. An obligation, for example, is if somebody is putting a gun to your head and they are forcing you to do something. If they’ve chained you to a radiator, then maybe you can call that an obligation, something you have to do or they will put a bullet in your brain! Most of the time when people say that they have to do something, it has that heaviness about it and that kind of energy about it; when in fact it’s not something they have to do, it is something that they want to do, or think they have to do for some reason. It’s usually a means to an end. It’s not even something they want to do; it’s something that they think will bring about something that they want.

In your case, your desire is for your mother to be financial abundant and for her to have an easy life. Well, I have some really tough love news for you here: That’s not up to you.

You can’t manifest in someone else’s reality

You cannot manifest in your mother’s reality; no one can. You said in your question that she doesn’t seem all that interested in her financial well-being, so who are you to come in and say that she should be? Who are you to come in and say that she is living her life wrong, and who are you to say, if only she could focus differently and get some more money, then she’d be better off? I know you don’t think you’re doing that; but you are. You are also interjecting something else here by saying because she isn’t willing or able to do that [become financially better off], then you have to do it for her, which is now making yourself responsible for her well-being in the narrowly defined way in which you have decided to look at it. All that is ever going to do is breed resentment, because it isn’t going to work. You’re not going to make her financially better off than she can manifest with her vibration, and when you inevitably fail to do something that she can’t attract, when you inevitably fail to defy her vibration, so to speak, you are going to resent her. What really went “wrong” here is that you made yourself responsible for bringing about the outcome in her life that you decided was the “right one”.

And yes, you are absolutely right, this totally applies to parents too.  We so often do this with people we care so deeply about, when we decide on the goal that they should go for. We try to drag them there kicking and screaming and it never ever, EVER freaking works.

Here’s what you want to do instead

1) Understand that your financial freedom, your wealth, is not going to come to you at the expense of your mother’s. Why the hell would it? Why would the Universe set it up like that? Why would YOU set it up like that? Why would you choose that? I would say, make a different decision. Let them be independent of each other, which doesn’t mean you have to get rid of your desire for your mother to have a good life.

2) Let that desire unfold in the way that she can handle and in the way that matches what she wants; in the way that matches what she believes she can have. How do you do that? You do that by allowing yourself to imagine your mother having a life that allows you to feel good, knowing full well that what you are doing in that moment is lining yourself up with a version of your mother that feels good to you. And then, let that look however that’s going to look for her. Visualize that in any way you want to, in whatever way looks good; in whatever way feels good to you. Then, divorce yourself from how that actually has to look, because who cares, so long as she is really happy.

Instead of you saying that you see her as financially well off and therefore happy, just see her as happy. Just see her as light and worry free. See her as secure and abundant, which is so much more than money. Take that middle man out and trust her to find her way there. When you line up with that outcome and you feel how good that feels in your heart, then you have lined up with the energy of who she really is. Trust that she is being guided there but also honor her path. Don’t just get in there and say the path she is walking is obviously wrong or tell her she’s not very good at this, which is condescending and arrogant. Honor the path that she is on.

Trust that the path will unfold perfectly

This goes the same for parents too. Honor the path that your children are on; trust them. And NO, this is not going to be easy; because when you really care about somebody and you’ve made yourself responsible for their well-being, then stepping into this different mindset will feel better; but it’s not easy. You have to be a little bit vigilant that you don’t constantly fall back into old habits – at least in the beginning anyway.  After that, go ahead and focus on your own wealth, on what feels good to you, and again trust that it will unfold in the perfect way for you. All you have to do then is follow the path that opens up for you. Trust the path that opens up for you.

Bottom Line

Here’s the thing: If you are on a really good path, a good feeling path because you’ve hooked up with a really good feeling goal (remember the goal and the path must feel the same; they always feel the same), then how in the hell is this really good feeling path going to involve you screwing your mother over?? Does that feel good to you – screwing your mother over? No it doesn’t!  So why would that be part of the good feeling path? That doesn’t make any sense!

Once you understand energy, you understand that the good feeling path, the truly lights-your-heart-up feeling path, is never going to involve you stomping over bodies of any kind. That’s why you don’t have to be afraid of your own power; that’s why you don’t have to be afraid of your own light. That’s why you don’t have to be afraid of truly moving towards what you want in this aligned, aware way that I teach. You are never, ever, EVER going to do any harm. You’re not. Why? Because doing harm doesn’t feel good to you and therefore cannot be part of a really good feeling path.

I know I gave you 3 times as much as you asked for in your email, but I gave you exactly how much you asked for with your energy! I hope that all made sense!

If you would like to ask a question of your own, or if you’d like to share your own story of obligation vs. your own well-being, then please leave a comment below.

I will see you guys next week. Bye!

 

Additional Resources

How to Discover Your Limiting Beliefs

Can Your Negative Family Keep You From Manifesting Money?

How to Start Loving Money

Do You Feel Guilty About Having More Money Than Others?

 

 

{ 30 comments }

Brandon July 28, 2016 at 23:20

Great video, Melody. The belief about sacrifice is so common. My mother had the same belief about money as I was growing up, so I had first-hand experience of this.

I tried for years to help my mother with her finances. She would complain about money being tight, and being overdue on bills, and I saw so many things she could do better. But, as you say, we can’t manifest for someone else. I had to let go and admit it was her life, and I couldn’t really do anything about it.

We’re all responsible for our own abundance. I think it’s perfect that it is that way. I can’t create for someone else. I will always be here to help when someone wants help, but I can’t force others to be in a better place than where they are.
Brandon invites you to read..What Can the Brain Teach You About the Law of Attraction?My Profile

Superjoy July 28, 2016 at 23:31

The BS Fairy cracked me up big time.

Who loves you Master Melody? Has anyone ever been banned off a website for being too appreciative?

Melody Fletcher July 28, 2016 at 23:34

Nope! You go on and appreciate all over the place, at your leisure. Ha.

Smooshy hugs,

Melody

kelli cooper July 28, 2016 at 23:53

Hey Melody
Great post that addressed an issue that can be a real thorn in our sides manifesting-wise–other people and our ‘obligations’ to them,etc…

This can be applied to many other situations and not just finances. I really resonated with this because while not the same exact scenario, I dealt with a lot of issues concerning guilt and obligation with someone. Working through it was not some overnight thing, and it just wasn’t one of those issues I could ‘shift’ by adopting the more positive perspective. I had to really look at what was happening and examine what I was feeling. It was worth it.

I think this idea of not having any obligation to anyone can be hard for us to really embrace because of the ‘negative’ light in which our mind views it. Many people interpret these sorts of teachings as giving us carte blanche to be complete a-holes but anyone interested in exploring these things, that is probably the last thing they are looking to do.

This sort of topic in particular really challenges us, but in a good way.

Great as always.
kelli cooper invites you to read..Podcast #57: Law of Attraction: What Are Your Hidden Manifesting Agendas?My Profile

Katarina July 29, 2016 at 00:04

Hi Melody!
I have a question regarding financial freedom, because I watched some videos with Ann Wilson and also listened to some of the podcast that you did. Now I´m from Sweden so I guess I´don´t understand exactly everything that she is talking about, but as I understand it she is suggesting that one should buy stocks?? To get financially freedom?
Is that a safe thing to do, because it seemes like the whole economic system is falling apart in the world. (I understand that it´s MY belief :)
What I´m trying to say is that there must be other ways to be financially free than buying stocks?
I love your website and I always think that what you say and explain makes sense.
Love, Katarina

Katarina July 29, 2016 at 00:11

And by “stocks” I mean shares, funds…. perhaps I had the wrong word :)

Melody Fletcher July 29, 2016 at 02:39

Hey Katarina,

I’m not an expert in what Ann teaches, at all. In fact, I’m a total newbie to her world. But I’ll try to answer off of the training I’ve taken so far and the conversations we’ve had: stocks is just one investment strategy she teaches. And she teaches people the information they need to do it safely. But she’s a huge advocate for diversifying your income streams. So, not just relying on stocks or any other strategy on its own. There was a great question on the Webinar about investing during volatile times. Well, Ann is from South Africa, so she sure knows a thing or two about that, lol. If you watch the Q&A section of the webinar towards the end, you’ll hear her answer (and she’s way better at answering these questions than I am…). I hope I helped.

Huge hugs, Melody

Heather July 30, 2016 at 04:13

Since the topic of Ann Wilson was brought up, I really couldn’t resist the opportunity to voice out my curiosity about the matter. I originally joined her “30 day money makeover challenge” because she was endorsed by you, but I have to say that after going through most of the program I was completely and utterly confused about why you have chosen to hype her so much (especially as I know that you very rarely promote anything, you just do your own thing and let other do theirs. Which, by the way, I asolutely love.), as it seems to me that her methods are often the exact opposite of what you teach. For example, she asked people to imagine how absolutely horrible their life would be if they will never reach financial freedom. Well ok, scaring tactics often work, it snaps people into action in order to avoid an undesired outcome, but isn’t this exactly the opposite of LOA? You tell people to follow their bliss, and she suggests that they should take action to run from their fears. Also the way she says “You should start NOW if you ever want to be financially free, now now now. Otherwise it will be too late” Ok, yes I understand that every second spent procrastinating is a second wasted making your money work for you. But once again – if you don’t start now, you’ll be poor for the rest of your life. More fear. Isn’t there enough fear already around the beliefs on money? Why would anyone who wants people to be rich enforce the fears? And the last thing; her recent free video training series, which I watched because I was still trying to figure out why you are so hyped about it, that perhaps there is something I’m not seeing. But then she categorized hope as a bad money strategy. Whaaat!? That’s where everything starts! How are you ever going to take any inspired action if you have no hope for a better tomorrow? She advocates action, instead of positive thinking. Isn’t this, again, the exact opposite of what you teach?

She does have a point when she says that asset-generated income is a good way to get rich, I’ll give her that. But I refuse to believe that her way is the only way, and if it was, I’d rather be poor and happy and in the now, knowing that my happiness has nothing to do with money or anything material for that matter. Every time I’ve thought it does, I’ve actually been running from resistance. Isn’t freedom always freedom, if you want to be financially free, what you really want is to be free? Which feels better, focusing on freedom and eventually seeing through the illusion of money and the difference between wealth and abundance, or starting to stress about stock markets, thinking that if I don’t get my assets up and liabilities down, I’ll never be rich?

But this where we get to the root of my problem; You’ve always told us that no matter what, everything is going to be ok. Get into alignment, just feel good, and things will fall into place, and I’ll be damned if I haven’t witnessed it working like a charm on so many occasions. So I can’t figure out why you are so hyped up about Ann’s teachings. What am I not seeing here?

Jon July 30, 2016 at 06:13

I echo the above.

Melody Fletcher July 30, 2016 at 16:59

Hey Heather,

Thanks so much for your question.

There are a few things I’m learning about marketing (and for me, marketing is simply the process of letting people know you have something that might help them, in a way that allows them to recognize that it’s right for them, if it is). Sometimes people need to be given permission to do that which they’re inspired to do. For me, the “do it now” statements, are just that. Keep in mind that anyone can say anything to you. That doesn’t mean you HAVE TO do it. It’s just a way of giving permission (that’s how I see it anyway), in case you actually want to, but are holding back out of fear.

Also keep in mind that Ann’s videos weren’t specifically made for just my audience. A lot of people out there are still mired in fear, and Ann has to go and speak to them where they are. I explained why I also do this at time in a recent video: Why You Should Totally Disagree With Me. We have to meet people where they are. That doesn’t mean that you, who is no longer buying into fear or motivated by it (and congrats, by the way!), have to now buy into that. If I started spouting fear, you shouldn’t buy into it, either. Don’t give any teacher that kind of power. But do understand that when we’re teaching a larger variety of people, sometimes we have to speak to some people’s fear. Just recognize that for what it is and ignore it. :)

When Ann talked about Hope in her videos, I translated that as “denial”. That’s how I heard it. She was talking to people who were mired in denial (not acknowledging how they actually feel) and doing her best to snap them out of it by pointing out that if they just sit there and pretend that things will change, even if they don’t, that won’t work. I do a version of that too, I just use different words.

Her way is not the only way, lol. No way is ever the only way. It’s A way, and I think it’s a good way, but it may not be the best way for you. Always follow your path (and sometimes things show up just to push us in a different direction. In other words, we are shown something we don’t want in order to clarify what we do want…)

Of course happiness is not about money. But… money doesn’t have to be shunned, either. It’s a neutral thing. It’s a tool. And we can make friends with it. When we make it responsible for anything, that’s when we get into trouble. But we can play with it. It’s a representation, and it can be a really fun one.

Also, Ann doesn’t teach anyone to stress about stock markets. She teaches an automation process, a set it and forget it kind of thing. No stress required. :) That’s my understanding anyway. If you’re going to stress about stocks, don’t invest in them.

And of course everything is going to be ok no matter what. That doesn’t mean that people can’t make use of tools, though. My teachings are just a tool, as well. Tools can be very helpful. You don’t want to give your power to them, but you can use them when appropriate.

So, having said all that, in a nutshell, here’s why I promoted Ann’s work: We have so many shitty beliefs about money. And yes, I can teach people to just ignore money, but the fact is that that won’t work for a huge amount of people. And, often, it’s once they’ve achieved some piece of mind about money that they can then actually realize how unimportant it is. I’m happy to support people in whatever stage of the process they are (where they are on the spectrum). Most people were taught that they have to work hard for money, that they have to be a slave to it. These beliefs are prevalent. It’s hugely disempowering. Ann teaches people that money can work for them. She flips the script and shows people how to do that, so they can actually believe it (she shows some ways to do that, but there are others. But the belief is what’s important). She teaches empowerment and uses financial education to do it (I use vibrational education to do the same thing). That’s what gets me excited about her.

If you had a chance to watch the webinar we did, you’ll have seen the side of Ann that I see. That’s why I did the webinar. I wanted to show you guys her message using our language. She has a wonderful vibration, but has learned to speak to a large spectrum of people. So, when she speaks their language of fear, know that’s what she’s doing. It’s not your language. Again, I do the same thing when I answer someone’s question.

I hope I’ve been able to answer your questions. I did get a few like this via email over the last couple of weeks, so you weren’t the only one wondering this. But I also received a huge amount of mail thanking me for introducing Ann and her work. And that was ultimately why I did is. I truly believed that Ann’s work would be helpful to a number of my tribe. If it resonates with you, go with it. If it doesn’t, don’t. Most things won’t be black and white like that – they’ll fall somewhere in the middle. So you’ll engage, but you’ll have to be discerning. Only ever take the pieces of something that feel good. Always be discerning and take responsibility for what you’re receiving. That’s your power. :)

Big smooshy hugs,

Melody

Heather July 31, 2016 at 02:42

Thank you so much for your thorough answer! Yes, it did indeed snap the pieces together; I was completely forgetting that while to some people Ann’s methods might be a step down, they are a step up to others. So basically as I’m standing on the void state plateau regarding limiting beliefs about money and looking down from where I came from, which is making the whole fuss seem a bit puzzling, she is hoverboarding down there like a boss and telling people that there is, in fact, more than the rocky wall they see as they climb up. I wonder which level I have to reach to get my own hoverboard. I really want one.

Melody Fletcher July 31, 2016 at 19:19

Honey, you already have a hoverboard. You just need to learn how to not fall off it, hehehehe.
It’s just practice. You get better and better at it with time. And if you fall off, you just get back on. No big whoop. ;)

Jon July 29, 2016 at 00:49

Interesting post Melody. It’s a bit like the old saying ‘let go and let God’, or the other one, ‘Let go, with love’. Losing the feeling that you ‘should’ be ‘doing something’ is hard because not ‘doing something’ or not holding that intention can feel like neglect, abdication of responsibility, dereliction of duty or laziness etc. There is a lot of guilt tied up in all that stuff. There is a also the complication that ‘doing something’ feels better than admitting your own powerlessness maybe?
I love your point about how a good feeling path is never going to hurt others. That’s a great way to look at it.
I also found myself bringing up the phrase ‘wishful thinking’, as in hoping that others will sort themselves out is just wishful thinking. It occurred to me that I have always used that phrase as a negative, maybe it should be a positive. What the hell is wrong with wishful thinking? ;-)

Thaís July 29, 2016 at 06:06

Thanks so much for answering my question, I feel like those people that get into the hot seat on Abraham seminars, haha

You adressed a side of the matter that I hadn’t been paying attention to. I was focused on how much I wanted her to be happy and free (and also, how much I wanted to feel relief from the responsibility), but I decided that this was the only way it could come, when it’s obviously not. As you say, you slap, but you slap with love. I’m gonna watch this again a couple of times and read the other posts you linked…
You nailed it when you talked about resentment, but what came to me while you were speaking was my fear that SHE might resent ME if I stop taking responsibility for her money stuff. I guess I have some work to do… But you really helped me.

BTW, you almost got my name right (the “h” is not pronounced).
XX

Lorraine July 29, 2016 at 06:19

OMG how awesome would that be….someone else exercising so that I get in shape????

Z July 29, 2016 at 09:56

I love this video, it’s really empowering.

Also, I need to ask something. Recently I restarted one of my hobbies that I just adore. Until now, I have kept stopping it and restarting it, because of resistance. As soon as I started, a perfect interference popped up (me having to go somewhere unwillingly, thus not being able to “play” with the hobby that day). I gave my best to be allowing, but the next day when I went to play with the hobby, I started getting pressure in my head, and soon after, my vision got all blurry, kind of when you peek at the Sun and look away, it’s all blurry and shiny, and I got nausea in my stomach. This has happened to me several times earlier in my life, and it’s something that perfectly makes me unable to continue playing with my hobby (I can’t see clearly, and I can’t think).

This hobby involves brain (studying), so there is focusing needed. But I don’t overdo it, and also, I enjoy it a lot! These interferences (having to go somewhere, having this health problem) definitely feel like powerlessness and like I don’t get to have what I want, but I know that I can’t just release those beliefs over night, they are big. I am moving up by a pace I can handle, and trying to release them layer by layer.

Today I had that problem again, pressure and blurry vision, and lied on my bed and surrendered, let it run out, telling myself that I was releasing something. However, even after my vision got restored, the numb feeling in my brain has continued for hours now. I need a confirmation. Do these awful episodes of health problems come because I am doing something I adore, and so the energy is moving fast, and the resistance that pops up must be big? If/When it happens again, should I continue like today, taking a rest and surrendering? Will that eventually make these episodes come less often and eventually never again?

By allowing this in this way, am I really releasing resistance and moving forward, or am I overlooking some other message my body is trying to get me to notice?

It sucks because it’s something I’m really passionate about, and I would expect my health to flourish when I’m doing something I adore, but these episodes scare me and force me to stop doing/enjoying it. I would really appreciate some explanation on this.

anon July 29, 2016 at 13:10

I’m sorry but I’m really beginning to feel that all of this LOA stuff simply isn’t true. I’ve been applying myself to this for years, have been releasing limiting beliefs and doing the work, yet it’s gotten me nothing. I can’t believe I’ve bought into this and haven’t taken the actions that would have gotten me what I wanted so much quicker. My life is way worse now than I before I learned any of this. I can’t believe I’ve wasted this much time.

anon July 29, 2016 at 13:26

When I say action, I mean hard work and things you really would rather not be doing but must. All of this “just feel good”, “surrender to how you feel/the pain”, and follow your passion stuff is bullshit, to put it frankly. None of it has got me anywhere or anything. You have to push yourself, get out there are work very hard. Things don’t just come to you. Fuck I can’t believe I wasted so much time believing this crap…not even worth living anymore as I’ve lost the most important thing: my youth.

Z July 29, 2016 at 14:41

Anon, I kind of feel you lol ; Until recently, I have though that if only I pushed myself to study for exams (even though I would rarely get inspired to do so) instead of allowing myself to relax and slow down, that I wouldn’t have so many pending exams now and all the stress with it. It felt like I trusted the Universe but I wasted my time with that. A few weeks passed, and then I imagined as if they were all finished. I felt a bit of relief, but realized that my dissatisfaction with life would still be here, so there’s something more to uncover here. It must be an opportunity for both of us.

Whenever I think that maybe I should have gone with the “hard work” route, instead of the “trust the Universe” route, I remember certain things that defy logic and prove there has to be something to this LOA thing. There are people who work really hard, but fail anyway, and there are those who “barely work” and get things working awesomely and live a great life. There are people who barely eat anything and are still fat, and those who eat a looot and look slim and fit. There are those who eat healthily and get cancer, and those who eat “bad” food and are in great health. There are people who have friends, fame, the looks, health, etc., and still get involved with drugs and other things that make their lives hell, while there are those people who live in hell, and manage to get to a fabulous, fulfilled life with everything they’ve wanted. This is what I remind myself of, when I think of “maybe hard work would have been better”. Maybe it would have in a short term way, but not in the long run. Screw hard work, that’s annoying :D

anon July 29, 2016 at 18:40

I see what you’re saying Z, but I don’t think it’s true in all situations. If you want something, you have to get out there and make it happen. And yes it can be fucking stressful and hard, but shit doesn’t get done unless you actually do things.

anon July 29, 2016 at 18:42

A lot of time it doesn’t feel good. But I’ve taken the alignment approach for years and NOTHING I wanted has happened. I used to believe as you do, but I’m beginning to think all this LOA stuff is a scam and just messes with your head.

fjk July 30, 2016 at 18:35

hi anon, i am sorry you feel this way. i would just say ‘ fuck it’ , forget about your desires, enjoy your life as much as you can right now . basically let go.
i would explore bashars work as well with an open mind.

Melody Fletcher July 31, 2016 at 19:17

Hey there Anon,

It feels to me like there’s something you’re being led to do, but which you’re not doing because you don’t think it feels like it fits into this paradigm…

Here’s the thing: you’re always going to be applying LOA. Even if it doesn’t actively look like it. So, just trust that and let it go. Do whatever it is that brings you relief. Even if that means chucking all this LOA stuff in. Turn in whatever direction makes you feel better. Do that for yourself. Get angry, even if it’s at LOA, the Universe or me. Don’t worry, I can take it (and it won’t harm me. This is about your release). Stomp your feet, shout, burn some books. Do whatever it is you feel like doing, and stop judging it intellectually.

That is, incidentally what I teach. But maybe try it anyway… ;)

Smooshy hugs,

Melody

anon August 1, 2016 at 00:05

Hi Melody,
Since I’ve written my earlier comments, I’ve received some clarity. And I’ve since uncovered that issues go a lot further than the LOA.

“It feels to me like there’s something you’re being led to do, but which you’re not doing because you don’t think it feels like it fits into this paradigm…”
Could you please explain what you mean by this? I’m not sure you mean taking the bad-feeling but (according to everyone) necessary actions I was referring to (I’ve since found a few alternatives that feel a little better) or to not do them at all because they feel full of struggle. For example, some are related to a creative career I’ve always dreamt of pursuing (or maybe just think I want to, as actually doing the activities involved for so many hours everyday often feels tiring, but I must stick to a schedule for muscle memory and to be productive regardless of how I feel). I’ve also had a lot of doubt as to whether I want to devote of myself completely to this path, because there are other things I want in life too. There are other interests and passions that I also love, as well as other desires that are completely unrelated.

A big issue for me lately has been that I feel A LOT of conflict over whether I want to be a wife and mother (another big dream of my heart), or pursue the creative career I was talking about. Really commuting to both and spending the needed time for each doesn’t seem possible. I hear so many people say that you must pick one or the other. Of course this is on top of my action issue and doubt, so I’m completely tied up about all of this!!

Melody Fletcher August 1, 2016 at 19:48

Hey Anon,

So, you gave the clue in our response: you’re thinking in black and white. It’s never one or the other. You get to have EVERYTHING you want. You can be a mom AND have an awesome relationship with your husband AND be a creative genius. Don’t let others tell you what you can or can’t have. All they can ever tell you is what limitations THEY have bought into. Go with what feels better and don’t assume that you’re then locking yourself into exclusively that direction. Yes, you can have it all, and you do not need to sacrifice anything you want. But you do have to allow yourself to let go of the intellectual journey, the trying to figure it all out yourself.

Go with what feels good (or better) right NOW, in this moment and trust that all the bases will be covered in the end, even if you can’t right now see how that might happen. You will never be shown the whole path at once. It will unfold moment by moment. But that’s what makes it fun (providing you trust it). You can either spend your life planning your life, or you can spend your life living your life. :)

I hope that helped.

Huge hugs,

Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..What If You Don’t Want To Save The World?My Profile

anon August 1, 2016 at 00:30

I’ve read on on of your past posts that if you don’t line up with your desire, then you will be pulled kicking and screaming down the path. But what if taking actions in the direction of the desire feel bad, even if they are relatively simple? What if they feel like shit and you feel worn out and fed up by them? Are you mistaking the specific desire for the essence? Should you stop acting towards that desire all together?

Melody Fletcher August 1, 2016 at 19:49

Don’t take action that feels bad. Ever. If you don’t see any action that feels good (or better), then don’t take action. Take a step back and assume there’s an option you’re just not seeing right now. Open up to it (by assuming it’s there and relaxing and not forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do) and it will show itself.

anon August 2, 2016 at 16:22

You’re right Melody, I need to stop being so hard on myself. I feel like I have to do everything myself, plan and take care of all the details, otherwise I won’t get what I want. It’s difficult (but relieving) to step back. I still don’t have 100% trust that I can and will get what I want, especially if I don’t sometimes force myself to act, but I guess scaling back on the forced action wouldn’t hurt.

Ms. Manifesting July 30, 2016 at 11:43

Wow, this post was a great reminder for me!
As I manifest more and more, I often want to help others with their manifesting (especially the people closest to me), but as you said, our reality is the only one we can manifest in!

Solace August 2, 2016 at 12:28

Melody is baaack..for me. Your responses are great and remind me of your earlier posts which were sooo insightful and heartfelt. They made me slow down and listen to you and to myself. Maybe we all need a reminder to do that continuously. I do understand however that the message may appear to get diluted as your platform expands but I know you will remind us of how great you are (and we are) by a post and subsequent answers like the one above. Thanks…happy hugs
.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: