Are You Important To The Universe?

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by Melody Fletcher on July 14, 2016

 

Why are you here? Why do you even exist? Is it just some cosmic joke or does the Universe need you? Are you necessary or just superfluous? Stay tuned for today’s video and find out what all the fuss is about!

 

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Coaching Call #213 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: She Doesn’t Believe She Deserves to Have Enough Money for a Better Life.

This caller doesn’t have enough money to live the life she wants.  She believes she needs to manifest money before she can get out into the world and enjoy what it has to offer. She wants money but she doesn’t really believe she deserves it.

Listen in as I take her back to her younger self and we start to release her limiting beliefs around deserving and allowing the life that she wants.

This call is for you if you want a bigger and better reality than your current one, but you have a limiting belief that’s blocking it.

Read the full call summary here.

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Video

Transcript

Awesome Lisa’s Burning Question:

“I’d like to know more about the Law of Attraction and uniqueness.  Sometimes, I feel superfluous and unnecessary.  If I dropped off the face of the earth, then all the people who know me would just attract other people (or other aspects of people) to play the role in their lives that I used to play.  It seems like I’m not really needed.  I’d like to think that there’s something unique that I can offer others, but in order for other people to experience whatever is unique about me, wouldn’t they have to share that specific quality (and then it wouldn’t be unique)?  I can understand that maybe we all have some general quality of uniqueness or specialness, but when I get more specific about what it is in my case (e.g. a particular sense of humor, or a particular perspective on life, or a particular charitable act), I can’t understand what I could offer that others could experience that they wouldn’t have already (at a vibrational level).  It’s a little weird to think, ‘Anything I can do for so-and-so, he would still get even if I disappeared, because it’s in his vibration and someone else would come along and do it for him if I weren’t there.’  I can see how people might take a dip in their vibration momentarily if I dropped off the face of the earth (maybe they would use my being gone as a reason to feel bad or something), but since they can choose to go back up again and re-attract whatever qualities I gave them via someone else, it just seems like I’m unnecessary.  How do we feel special as individuals, if we can only offer others what they already have, vibrationally?”

Wow Lisa, what a question! First of all, I have to commend you on an excellent question! Well thought out…and totally over thinking it, but that’s what the people in my audience does! You’re highly intellectual people who want to understand how shit actually works, and I’m very happy to explain this, because that’s what I do!

First of all, you’re right! You can only ever mirror back to somebody what is already in their vibrational field. If you step on somebody’s toes in the subway, that person attracted you stepping on their toes. You may have absolutely no idea why you did that, but it will fall into the path that they are on. They may have some victimization thing going on where they get stepped on 20 times that day, and then something finally busts out and they say, “Stop it, I can’t take it anymore!” They start standing up for themselves and you were just one of the angels that the Universe brought to them to help them by you stepping on their toes.

In that respect, you are correct. If somebody is ready to experience kindness for example, they can experience it through you or, if you don’t volunteer for that, they can experience it through somebody else. It is never your obligation to fulfill any role for anybody else. But that is about where your correctness ends.

You have no obligation to anyone

You are not here for them. You are not here for anybody else; you are not here out of some sense of obligation to the rest of humanity. You are not here to fulfill any role for anybody; you’re not here to be kind or to be mean to anybody. It has absolutely nothing to do with them.  These are your partners in the game; you get to play with others if you choose too, but you don’t have to. That’s not your purpose; you are not here for others. The stuff that you talked about in your question about being there for them, fulfilling a role for them (and does it even matter if you do?), is irrelevant. No it doesn’t matter if you do, because that’s not what you are here for.

Instead of thinking it means you don’t matter, understand that it can set you free. It’s often our sense of overwhelming obligation to fulfill the roles that others what us to fill (so that they don’t have to deal with their shit), that keeps us stuck and stops us from living our dreams. If you’ve decided, though, that this is why you matter – because this is what you were taught and it was what was modeled for you, then figuring out that you don’t play as big as a role in other people’s reality as you thought you did, might leave you feeling unimportant and unnecessary. But once again, it’s not about them; it’s about you. You are so much more important than that. You are not just a bit player in a movie, you are the star. You are the star of your own movie! You’re the headlining act! You are not a supporting player; you are the IT girl. You’re IT, girl! *snort*

Why are you important?

You are important because of your perspective, NOT because of the perspective you can offer to others. It’s just because of your perspective, because of every decision that you can make, and because only you would make it exactly that same way, especially when you put all of those decisions together in combination. Every choice that you’ve made with your free will (even when you didn’t know it was a choice), creates a unique experience, a unique path that only you will ever walk. No one will ever come behind you and walk the exact same path as you. By doing that, and by making every decision that you make, by holding every perspective that you do, by making every choice that you make, you offer this unique perspective. Also with the data that you are gathering by walking that path, you’re adding to the collective wisdom, to the Universe, and to all of us – as everybody does.

If you didn’t exist, we would be missing out on the information that you have to offer through your vibration. It’s not an obligation, you are doing it whether you know it or not. You are doing it just by existing. That is why you are here. You are benefitting everyone, just by being here, just by focusing into this wonderful physical reality.

You don’t have to be here, but you did choose to come. It was your choice, and when you made that choice, you did so not from a place of obligation, or in order to learn lessons, or in order to be valuable to humanity, or even the Universe. You came in order to have the experience, the unique experience that only you can ever have. You came to ride this amazing ride exactly and specifically in the way that you can do it, that you would do it. No one before you or no one after you ever in the history of the universe will walk that exact same path again. You came for the adventure, you reveled in the idea of it, and you knew of your power. You knew you were a master, and you came and set yourself possibly some really large challenges, because that’s what masters do.

You are a master of the game

When you are really good at a video game, you are not going to go in and play the basic levels; you want the biggest, baddest dragon boss they have. You said, “Give me that sword and I will battle that dragon, because I know I can, and I will have fun doing it!” You came for the fun of it, and to set yourself a really big challenge, because that is what a master does. Like I said, you gave yourself the biggest challenge that you possibly could, which was to forget that you are a master; but you’re in the process of remembering that now, and that’s a pretty cool thing. That’s an amazing purpose. You came to play this game at a time of awakening. You chose that, it wasn’t a mistake; the timing of your birth was not a mistake. You came here now, because right now is where it’s at, right now is where it’s all going down. Right now is where it’s all exploding and shifting and turning on its head. You knew that when you were on the other side of that, the fun would be enormous. You came for the ride of your life. This life anyway! Ha.  

Bottom Line

Are you needed by the Universe?  No. The Universe will go on without you, whether you exist or not. The Universe is not desperate for your existence. The Universe REVELS in your existence.  All physical beings, non-physical beings, the mountains, the earth itself revel and rejoice in your existence. You are not needed; you are wanted. You are wanted by the Universe; you are wanted by all that is. The Universe doesn’t need your contribution. There’s no pressure, there’s no obligation; you are free to choose whatever you want. But you are so desired and so wanted. Your existence is celebrated every nanosecond of every day.

Hopefully, I’ve answered your question. If you’d like to join the conversation, or you have a question of your own, please leave a comment below.

Thank you for bringing you light to the world.

Bye!

 

 

{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }

Brandon July 14, 2016 at 17:17

Great post, Melody! This goes well with your “save the world” post from two weeks ago.

As you said, we’re not here for other people. We’re here to be happy. We’re here to be joyous.

I think people feel this fear, that if they aren’t the only one who can fulfill some particular need, then they aren’t really needed. But of course, no one is ever needed. “Need” is a vibrational match to lack, not fullness. Our higher selves don’t believe in “need”.

But, we can help. We can contribute, in our own special way. Not because anyone needs us or what we have to say, but because we enjoy doing what we do, and through that enjoyment, others will likely enjoy it, too.
Brandon invites you to read..You Create Your Own Reality, But Is There a Universal Plan?My Profile

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Viv July 14, 2016 at 17:54

Thank you for your post Melody.
I think loving yourself is the best thing you can do. It takes a lot to turn the tide and change how you see yourself. I recommend The gifts of imperfection by Dr Brene Brown. She is not LOA teacher but very in tune with Melody and Melody’s teachings. Then the wheels turned and I started to change how I thought about myself and know the validation I was always seeking has to
Come from me and no one else.
Recently I decided to shift energy by writing a letter to my mother who was my number one critic and at times an enemy. I told her everything I felt. I wrote 2000 words in 20 minutes!! I felt eurphoric it was lifted from me and I feel at peace. Then I went into a depressive mood the day after. I was teary, moody and in a dark place. I told the universe yes I feel bad now but there are better things to come. I questioned the validity of trusting the universe and said to myself it’s ok to feel this way. Then I got into a car accident a few days after. It was not my fault and I did think why did I manefest that for? I think it was the universe saying listen to the message. You’re going to be ok. This is the universe working. I practiced what Melody suggested and deal with those emotions as they come up and now I feel much like my new self. I am making it a thing to deal with emotions than bury them. I have a strong faith I am on the right path. Thank you Melody for all your light and words.
- Viv

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Jade July 14, 2016 at 18:12

Melody! Wow. I really, really like what you’ve just thrown down in this vid. It was a crescendo of wisdom that spoke so loudly to me that I felt like I needed to run outside and get all Zena Warrior Princess or something. Thank you.

I suppose I knew all along that I wasn’t needed by the universe but that I was definitely wanted. I reckon I always understood that I chose this time to come on this adventure, (I mean, I’m forever saying to my daughter ‘Thank you for choosing me to be your Mother’) but hearing you say it, man, you’ve changed me somehow. It’s like I can finally get on with what I’m supposed to be doing – experiencing it!

Thank you again. Much love to you.

Jade

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Super Joy July 14, 2016 at 18:13

You bring a smile to my face with your photos & the captions. Sometimes I cry in a fit of laughter – that’s the only reason I come here lol :)

I probably have bored you to tears with my appreciation of you. You’ve had so many positive comments on your blog since I joined your blog back in 2011 but I just have the urge to keep telling you that you were the conduit for lifting the lid off my suffering and for that I’ll be eternally grateful to you (Tina may end up having to filter out my mush soon :) )

I’m about to share the following so others can understand the contrast and know greatness is just around the corner for them too but dont worry I will be explaining it very general so as not to bring down your readers. I know what you’re thinking, I’m an awesome student (and if you’re not, you should be, yes I’ve even picked up your humour)

I have never had a family like most people. I was neglected and abandoned (please other readers don’t feel sorry or pity me because I was able to use the family I was born into and the manifestations that didn’t feel good to create the most amazing life I have now).

As a child, I never had guidance when I was being bullied, I didn’t know how to talk (I was practically a mute), I had no understanding or experience of love. If I did make a bid for love, I was pushed aside and fear of life was instilled in me. To avoid the pain, I would withdraw from life, fearful of rejection and became what most psychologist know as the avoidant attachment personality. I refused to let anyone into my life and in hindsight was internally angry (although externally always smiled).

I had to learn everything through trial and error and all my efforts weren’t getting me anywhere except I had degree and diplomas behind me and a very successful corporate career. I was still unhappy. Actually I uploaded some super ambitious negative contrast to the universe on areas of life like connection, family, friendship and other softer aspects to life which I really wanted.

But now I’m swimming in the contrast and the feeling is beyond anything you can imagine. Maybe I would not have appreciated closeness, connection, love and family had I not experienced the contrast. Who knows but it’s all worth it now.

People, despite your doubts, keep at what she teaches you here, it’s freakin real! You can indeed have anything you desire and it only takes baby steps. Follow her guidance on her free posts if you can’t afford a chat with her, can’t get into her busy schedule or maybe you’re too frightened to open up (they’re all temporary issues). In the meantime just jot down her amazing advice she gives here (did I mention for FREE) and read over any points she makes that uplift you. Do it every night especially when you get scared, particularly when you’re scared, zoom in on her positive words, they shifted my vibration the most.

I also had no understanding of how to nurture my children without examples but your blog gives me the answers. I want to be a fantabulous mother and give my children what I never had and I am in the process of doing that thanks to so many articles from you. Melody Fletcher you have given me the guidance, nurturing and even parenting advice so that I could be a good mother. The advice and instructions you give us here, I have passed on to my babies. They are either hearing my words or mimicking my new fearless attitude because what I see in them is overwhelmingly positive (Maybe this is a little advanced for me but somedays I wonder if I’m shifted dimensions to a place where everything is just perfect).

Thanks to you, I was able to break the generational cycle of neglected children, I manifested you and I’m doing the work so I’m so proud of myself. Melody, I hope you’re also mega proud of yourself too. You mentioned you felt your purpose on earth was to be a teacher. You’re not just a teacher, you’re the best teacher and leader anyone could EVER ask for. I believe you’re up there with the masters. I bet your family are so proud of this girl who was once “just a little different”.

I hope one day to meet you or to have enough money to talk to you through your program. I don’t desperately need you anymore because you showed me how to do the work on my own. I do, however, desire more people like you in my life. Are there others out there? In the meantime I talk to you in my head.

And finally, at the risk of sounding nuts (my friends think I am and they still love me), you’re my best friend, the mother I never had (even though you’re likely younger than me) and truly the best thing on this earth apart from my children.

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Lindsay Maxfield July 14, 2016 at 21:37

Melody, I love this so, so much. Thank you. It’s uncanny that I’m reading this now, as it touches on something I’ve been struggling with lately … something I’ve decided to be DONE WITH once and for all: the unbearable weight of being needed. In fact, I just published a blog post about it today, even though I’ve been sitting on it for days (http://www.lindsaymaxfield.com/single-post/2016/07/14/When-healing-hurts). So it’s all too perfect to have both these things happen today.

The thing is, I’m through carrying this burden of being needed, a burden that I do believe I have created energetically. But I’m not entirely sure how to live differently yet, especially because I’m a full-time mom to 3 young children who neeeeeeed me. But this line here put it all into perspective for me: “You are not needed; you are wanted.” So much possibility in these few words alone! Thank you!
Lindsay Maxfield invites you to read..When healing hurtsMy Profile

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CJ July 14, 2016 at 21:44

Sorry to bring it up, but the “Universe” didn’t have much need for the young children run down by a truck in Nice.

If anyone has an answer to such horrors, please offer it up.

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Z July 15, 2016 at 02:58
CJ July 15, 2016 at 03:49

Thanks.

Do I have this right?- Melody is saying that children come into a particular incarnation choosing horrendous pain and suffering so that they can then choose something better.

The baby chooses pain and suffering – that implies it understands pleasure and pain, suffering and peace ALREADY. ALREADY KNOWING the difference, it choose the worst possible option. “Oh, I think I’ll be mowed down by a Muslim in a truck, because then I’ll choose not to repeat that next incarnation”. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

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Z July 15, 2016 at 04:25

I am not sure, since it’s a big topic, but I think it means that it doesn’t matter what we experience in the physical, because when we get back to the non-physical, we will be perfectly alright and happy, and whatever bad happened in the physical won’t matter one bit. We will only care about the good experiences.

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C July 15, 2016 at 18:02
CJ July 15, 2016 at 04:05

The kids who were just killed in France are now floating in the ether thinking “I’m really glad I chose that experience of teror and pain, because now I can choose a life where I don’t get my rib cage and internal organs minced into a pulp under a 2-tonne truck driven by a terrorist. I’ve learnt a great lesson. In my next life I think I’ll get eaten by a crocodile so that I learn something about getting eaten alive. That way I can benefit the Universe and its quest for knowledge about every possible human experience”.

I’m stunned anyone would come up with such an idea! It’s almost as weird as the sort of things the terrorists believe – 72 virguins and all that stuff.

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Melody Fletcher July 15, 2016 at 18:48

Hey CJ,

It’s always hardest to shift to a better feeling perspective right after a tragedy has happened. This is why I usually refrain from offering anything immediately after a bombing or shooting. Any attempt at all to move to a better feeling can sound flippant and dismissive.

All I can do is offer my perspective. If it doesn’t feel good to you, then by all means, keep searching until you find something that brings you more peace. To me, the idea that bad things just happen randomly, that we are powerless ants floating around in space, possibly at the mercy of a vengeful, sadistic deity doesn’t feel good at all. Neither does thinking that there’s a lesson in suffering (other than that it’s tragic and unnecessary).

To me, those kids are heroes and angels. They experienced something that gave us all a chance to face the powerlessness and fear still present in so much of our world, which in turn, gives us the chance to turn to love. It’s not an easy choice to make. If it was, we would’ve done it by now. It isn’t about learning a lesson. It’s about finding our way back to our power.

Suffering is tragic. Violence is tragic. Hatred is tragic. They are all ultimately unnecessary. That is the tragedy. And that’s why it hurts when stuff like this happens.

It’s my goal to help people overcome these limitations (or rather, participate in the overcoming and releasing of them).

Maybe posts like this can help a little. If not, I hope you find relief somewhere.

Huge hugs and love,

Melody
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CJ July 15, 2016 at 20:28

Thanks Melody.

I’m wanting to make sense of how the world works, particularly in regards to suffering, so I’m willing to read anything you and others write on the topic. No need to tip toe around me… I want to hear what you’ve got.

*This is my sticking point* — When a terrorist believes that there’s 72 virgins awaiting him in the afterlife, that would be a very feel-good thought for him. It would also feel good for him to believe that God protects and favours him and his family because he eats certain foods and prays 100 times a day and slaughters gays. For all we know, terrorists may feel ecstatic for “doing God’s work”. Choosing what thoughts feel good seems reasonable until you consider such scenarios. And it doesn’t just apply to terrorists of course. I’ve seen videos of US miltary sending missiles into bunkers and high-fiving each other, wooping and celebrating, feeling wonderful about their actions. The thought “we have defeated the enemy” is a feel-good thought for them.

Whilst it doesn’t feel good to consider the possibility of a retributive karma style universe, it does at least make sense. The above examples highlight how truth and feel good thoughts might be totally at odds.

I’d be interested in your thoughts on this aspect.

Regards,

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Melody Fletcher July 15, 2016 at 20:52

Hey CJ,

Well, here’s my take on it. No human actually WANTS to harm another human. But we so often do it because in that moment, it feels BETTER than whatever alternative we think is the only other choice. When someone feels powerless, as someone who has grown up incredibly poor and uneducated in an environment where there seems to be no hope at all for any kind of prosperity or even just a teensy bit better life would certainly feel, the idea of a glorious afterlife seems pretty inviting. Many people (Christians included) have been willing to commit atrocities when promised a reward after death, to offset their horrible physical existence.

When our survival is threatened, or when we’ve given up all hope, there’s really no limit to what we’re willing to do to each other (or ourselves) in an attempt to feel better. Those high-fiving soldiers aren’t rejoicing at the killing or suffering of a human being. They are celebrating feeling a little bit of control in a situation that makes them feel like they don’t have any, that scares the crap out of them, that makes them feel vulnerable beyond description.

This is why I talk about powerlessness so much. To me, it’s at the heart of all suffering, all willingness to suffer (for some kind of gain), all pain, all cruelty, all hatred, all fear.

Violence has always existed. We’re just much more aware of it now than we’ve ever been. And we’re finding it less and less tolerable. We’re finding it less and less possible to dehumanize others, to separate ourselves from others, to not be outraged at the atrocities committed. THIS is what I see as a good thing – we’re not nearly as willing to just look away anymore. The chorus of voices yelling “Stop!” is growing. On both sides (of whatever conflict or pond you’re on) by the way. And from that, I draw hope.

Huge hugs,

Melody

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CJ July 15, 2016 at 21:20

Thanks again.

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Thaís Monteiro July 15, 2016 at 06:02

Hi Melody, thank you for this post!

I was happy that while you were reading the question I immediately thought of the answer in a similar way that turned out to be your answer! And it’s nice to know something intellectually (or rather receive it…) but it’s something different to actually FEEL the energy move in my body (my nose tingled in a weird way during the video as you were sharing your perspective. That felt good so it must be aligned with the Universe)… So then I knew I really understood this!

I would like to add something. It’s not just about not being needed, but actually being wanted in the Universe… Your analogy of the diamond and it’s many facets came to mind. We are inseparable from the diamond. We are a part of All That Is. We are a unique aspect, a unique experience. Even if we vanish from the face of the Earth, we’d still be part of Oneness. I think that’s awesome!

Many happy shiny puppy hugs!
Thais

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Lisa July 15, 2016 at 08:52

Thank you, Melody! This answered my question beautifully. I had a nice aha moment when you said, “You are important because of your perspective, NOT because of the perspective you can offer to others.” I realized I had been assuming whatever importance my perspective has must be as a benefit to others. I was treating my own perspective as a means to an end (being helpful to others) rather than as something valuable in itself. Thanks so much for your clarity and positivity!

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Melody Fletcher July 15, 2016 at 18:39

You’re so very welcome Lisa! And thanks so much for your awesome question. :)

Huge hugs,

Melody
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Klaus July 15, 2016 at 14:15

Melody,

I have been following you for a several years now and your stuff has been wonderfully helpful, but what you are presenting nowadays is on a whole different level! Wow!!! Totally awesome!!!!

Thank you so much!

Klaus

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Isabel July 15, 2016 at 14:29

You got me crying with this one. The most beautiful and loving answer I’ve ever seen. THANK YOU!
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A July 15, 2016 at 22:58

Great post Melody, I like how you will tackle just about any question. It’s not a question I have personally asked myself, but interesting nonetheless.

This is a bit off topic but maybe another reader her can offer their perspective…
I commented a couple of weeks ago about how my life was going great and I was all high vibing blah blah….and had been feeling good for ages (months). But I find that regularly, especially when things have been going extra well for a while, or I have ramped up my visualisations/feeling good sessions, that it all goes to shit.
Things were great in my job, now suddenly everything is getting to me. People who didn’t before are starting to bug me, I’m feeling overworked, my boss is being difficult to work for and I’m not getting the raise I was promised, just suddenly it’s not the dream job it was a couple of months ago.

Also I have ramped up my money abundance work, and now everything around that seems to bother me more.

Is this just resistance rearing its head? Is it just the new and sudden contrast between my vibration and my reality that’s bugging me? I try to work through it but it’s exhausting levelling up all the time! It’s a lot of work.

Last night I was really tired after work and I felt a lot of pain from my past coming up because I was in a weak place. Crappy emotions like loneliness and rejection that I hadn’t felt for a long time. Pain is not something I am familiar with lately so it really alarmed me. I tried to go with it, had a cry, and let it work itself out. Am I doing this right? I still feel down today. This is all too exhausting. I want to go back to feeling good all the time like I was before!

Can someone make sense of this?

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Mand Season July 16, 2016 at 02:51

Don’t panic, first of all. And have a hug, they help with feeling bad! <3

Everything's working towards happiness – including this phase – since you "set" the happy beliefs a while back when you were able to feel that way. I'd say that having "accomplished" the great level of happy-shiny that you describe, you became able to feel resistance that previously was beyond you. In other words, you're ready for the next level.

Does this make sense?

I hit a similar plateau recently and can really empathise. Reading some of Melody's posts here and in her book, about the way progress is sometimes steep and sometimes seems to be going nowhere, has been helping a lot. :)
Mand Season invites you to read..I don’t do topicalMy Profile

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shaun July 16, 2016 at 06:48

You gave yourself the biggest challenge you possibly could, which was to forget that you’re a master. WOW! That comment just blew my mind.

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Shirley July 16, 2016 at 12:15

Wow, that literally blew my mind!!! I have always had the same question. Thank you!!!!

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Aurore July 16, 2016 at 12:31

Now! you’re going down the rabbit hole Melody :-) ). Balancing LoA with Spirituality – to help people make that connection. This was clearly the plan for you all along – as you are sooooooooo good at it. Just love your vlogs. Thanks!

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Anonymous July 16, 2016 at 19:35

I’ve always wondered if I really mattered, this video helped clarify.

Not meaning to repeat a question (I don’t remember if I asked or if it was asked before!), but how do you get over jealousy? I’m really jealous of someone I know whose music career is much farther ahead of mine. She’s about to release an EP, has worked with many in demand producers and will probably blow up soon. I’m still working on songs to put out publicly. I feel bad for not being happy for her! Her success just reminds me of how far behind I am, and I beat myself up for having more focus on music earlier, for wasting time, and for being much farther behind than I want to be. I work on my songs and voice every day, but it’s finishing material is taking slower than expected. I don’t know why her success specifically bothers me so much and not others’.

These feelings comes up all the time. On social media, she constantly writes and posts photos of her fabulous life and how things are going so well for her. I want the same, but it still feels pretty far away from where I am. I do my best to focus on my music and how I feel, but I still have my intense down moments, like right now. The jealousy burns and hits hard. I sit with it and feel it fully, but it keeps coming back. Will it ever go away? I feel like no matter how hard I work on my music, do matter how much time I spend on it, I still feel behind and envious.

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Anonymous July 16, 2016 at 19:39

I should add, I know Melody has written about seeing the success of others as a good thing, a precursor of what’s to come. That doesn’t really help me at all though. When I hold these thoughts, I slip down into beating myself up for being so far behind and the pain grows more intense.

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A July 16, 2016 at 21:30

Hi anonymous
Maybe you identify with her in some way which makes it easier for you compare her life with yours e.g. she’s the same age, started in the business at the same time as you etc?
You are not the only to fall prey to the green eyed monster. Yours truly has a hard time with people who are ahead of me financially.
Don’t compare yourself with others is the first thing. They have their journey and you have yours.
I am finding that spending time thinking about MY life and what I want is helping me focus more on what I want rather than what I don’t have.
If you put your focus on others, you will start comparing. Reduce your contact with her, don’t look at her Facebook posts (or block her). That will help you redirect your attention to other more constructive thoughts. Fill your days with pleasant thoughts, stay away from anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Before you know it, you will be successful and one day you’ll see her after a long time has passed and you’ve almost forgotten about her and think, oh my god I can’t believe I was once jealous of you.

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Anonymous July 17, 2016 at 21:50

A, you are right. I need to just focus on myself and where I’m going! I have attempted to unfollow her before, and for a month I stayed away, but eventually I succumbed to refollowing her. It seems like time does take the sting away though. It seems like I always get what I want when I stop wanting it (my desire has changed by then). Funny how that works!

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S & S (Samantha) July 21, 2016 at 01:01

Jealousy has come up quite a bit lately, especially for my 12 year old daughter.

She actually asked “what this feeling is” when she sees her ex bff with her new friend making it very obvious my daughter is the new third wheel. They are actually intentionally laughing to make her jealous. She’s given me several examples where one could determine whether they were just having a good time or whether they were intentionally trying to make her jealous. It was 100% the latter. Despite trying to keep my vibration high and stable for her, I fell into mother-empathy and started asking why us humans experience jealousy.

What’s Jealousy’s Purpose?

I have been investigating why as I went back through all the blog posts and tried to find anything on jealousy. I found a little but not as much as I would have liked to help my daughter. The advice I did find may help you though.

You could focus on what you do like about the other musician. This might require you to temporarily block her from social media to distance yourself from the feelings (there’s no need to make big jumps like defriending her), the next suggestion may seem far fetched but try sending her love if you can. Write down everything she does or has that you want for you (what if her accomplishments are your universal catalogue?), put all of that onto paper, then visualize it for you (just make sure you look as you do now) … see feel yourself having all that she has plus more, see yourself putting up similar posts on Facebook and see yourself getting comments on your music that makes you feel wonderful. There’s enough room for both of you to be successful. Her failing or succeeding has no relevance. None of us have only one song on our mobiles (cells) or music players. I’ve got about 500 mp3. There’s room for both of you to be successful and a few hundred more.

Think of yourself making amazing music, being applauded, congratulated, celebrated etc. Those steps will raise your vibration and that will give you all the clarity you need to make the music you want to make. The rest will fall into place.

When you get all that money, everything will be emphasized so make sure this downtime is used wisely to clear out all that past.

My daughter is very attracted to the fun she has with the ex best friend and is happy to accept being her second best friend even while it hurts (and finds other girls in her year not as approachable when I tell her to distance herself).

I wish I could guide my daughter as I’ve guided you. I want to offer her the meaning what her experience is mirroring to her. Do you think it’s self worth? She’s overweight and has been since she was born (10 pound baby) and she’s been bullied because of it.

Any advice on how I can guide her to feeling better would be most appreciated by any of you. I treasure your input.

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Anonymous July 16, 2016 at 21:28

Another question (this might seem like I’m getting too far ahead of myself, but I feel this really effects how I write, sing and envision my career.) I’m not sure if I want to have mainstream appeal or appeal in a certain niche. Right now what I’m working on is a little more out there, not really on trend musically, and I’m not quite sure it would appeal to as many people as the moody electro-R&B that is extremely on trend right now.

The songwriting isn’t flowing 24/7, but it is coming in in pieces and unfolding. Whenever I work on my songs or receive ideas for them, they tend to have a certain vibe, a certain style. More imaginative and in their own world and less like the current cool, young music that’s loved by my peers and hyped about all over the Internet. What I’m doing now quite comes naturally for me when I’m in the flow, but the songs feel out of sync with the rest of the music world.

The issue is that I’m afraid that what I’m creating will not appeal to many people. And I want for my music and artistic vision to appeal to a broad audience. I want to share this energy in a big way! I don’t want to just write about the same things that everyone else is, but it seems that those topics and writing styles are what people like and relate to. I want to really bring to life the amazing visions I’ve had inside me for years. They just aren’t really cool or popular though!

I’m not sure how I can alleviate this desire to be myself and create imaginative music with the desire to reach a wide audience. Should I just forget one of these? Am I just being stubborn and resisting the societal pull towards a certain musical sound and vibe? Being stubborn and not catching up to the mass vibe? Or am I just not willing to settle and conform? I actually enjoy listening to a lot of music that’s really hot in the electronic world right now, even if what comes easily to me to make is a bit different.

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Brandon July 17, 2016 at 21:04

I would say that both of your desires are possible, but you are too focused on the apparent conflict between these two desires.

Just let the music come. Feel the feeling of having what you want to have. Feel the feeling of your music being out there, the way you were inspired to make it, and being popular. How would that feel?

Now don’t get lost in the “how”. Just stay in the feelings until that vibration becomes stable, and then you will begin to see evidence of it in your reality.

I hope that helps.
Brandon invites you to read..You Create Your Own Reality, But Is There a Universal Plan?My Profile

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Anonymous July 17, 2016 at 22:05

Hmm this sounds so obvious! Of course I can just focus on the feelings of having both. Thank you for reminding me Brandon! My mind gets in the way and is constantly trying to figure out the how’s and if what I desire is possible.

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Judy Saunders July 17, 2016 at 07:11

You brought me to tears with this one, Melody. I have struggled a long time with self worth and only just recently realized that the UU first principle of the inherent worth and dignity of all people applies to me, too. I needed to hear this. Thank you.

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