In the personal development and spiritual world we often talk about having an impact on the world, or serving others in a big way. But what if you don’t want to do that? What if you don’t want to be Mother Theresa, or a healer or a teacher? Is it ok for you to just focus on your own happiness? Watch today’s video and find out!
Coaching Call #211 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: She Can’t Love Herself Unconditionally Because She’s Overweight.
This caller has been carrying extra weight for about 10 years and until she is as thin as she wants to be she can’t accept or love herself unconditionally.
In this call we look at the general energetic reasons why we carry excess weight, and we explore if weight gain is caused by our food choices, or does it go much deeper than that?
We use a technique that will help you to feel better about yourself, unconditionally, and we work on how to focus your energy to get you on the path to healthy skinny.
This call is for you if you’ve forgotten just how lovable you are, extra body weight included. You’re welcome!
This Week’s Video:
Awesome Dudette’s Burning Question:
“How come people are always trying to give me the advice of ‘serving something bigger than yourself’, like working for a cause, or serving humanity. Who cares about any of that crap? What if I just want to do things for me? Why isn’t that good enough? I just don’t really give a shit about what everyone else wants to do with their realities. Also, even if I did care, it wouldn’t matter because I have no control over anyone else! And anyways, if I just do things to make myself happy, aren’t I ultimately serving everyone else by becoming my best version? It’s not like I’m walking over bodies get what I want, I just don’t feel like trying to change what everyone else is doing!”
Well Awesome Dudette, I am so glad you asked this question! It’s a fantastic question that a lot of people are secretly asking themselves, but aren’t always courageous enough to talk about out loud, because they’re afraid of what other people might think. They’re afraid of being judged and, of course, judgment is not something you are going to find here.
Helping others can be joyful for some people
Here’s the thing: A lot of people really do get a great amount of joy and satisfaction from the idea of helping others, particularly if they’ve found a great deal of happiness themselves, are on that happy shiny puppy vibration, and are full of joy. Often times they get a great deal of satisfaction from having an impact on the world, or the idea gives them a great deal of joy when they hear those kinds of concepts. Serving the world or having an impact on the world – that’s actually a really positive feeling statement for them.
A lot of people in the personal development/spiritual world do talk about that, because it is received in a really positive way and it gives people a great deal of inspiration and motivation. However, for most of us alive right now, we have grown up in a society that puts great value on helping others from the point of view of: You have to do it, and you should want to do it, and if you don’t, you’re a bad person.
Some of that absolutely transferred to some personal development and spiritual circles where people have morphed that into: You are here to serve a bigger purpose, and if you are not willing to sacrifice yourself, it’s implied that you’re a bad person, you are not very spiritual, you’re not spiritual enough, you’re not evolved, or you’re not enlightened. That’s just the other side of the exact same coin. It’s manipulation.
Follow your own bliss
You do not HAVE TO do anything. You have no obligation here on this planet. You do not come in with a job; you come in with a joy. Yes you set some intentions before you came here, and people can call that a “purpose”, but that intention is not to serve others or to sacrifice in any way. That intention is to experience something, to participate in something. The best way that you do that is by following your own joy and your own bliss. This is going to take you on a fantastic, winding journey which may or may not include, directly or indirectly, having an impact on others, or helping, or teaching, or healing, or bagging groceries for others, or dancing naked in the rain, or whatever it is that you want to do. Isn’t that a wonderful system, by the way? That your purpose is actually what gives you the most joy? As long as you follow your joy, you are living out your purpose. I think that is an amazing system!
You are actually correct when you ask, if by following your own bliss and doing what your heart tells you to do… (I’m paraphrasing here), if you’re not actually having the best impact on everybody else anyway by doing that? You are absolutely correct when you are following your own bliss, because by doing that, you are participating in the vibration and adding to the vibration of joy, which makes that stronger. It gives it more momentum and it makes it easier for other people to find. It’s not something that you have to do, but following your joy is something that you do want to do, in general, broad terms – not because it serves other people in some way, but because it feels really, really good.
It’s not selfish to follow your bliss
I realize that there are going to be people out there who hear these statements and think “Oh my God, she’s advocating absolute and total selfishness; maybe even a little bit of psychopathic behavior!! So, let me explain this.
Like you said in your question, you are not walking over bodies to get to where you want to go. If you are following your bliss, if you are following your heart, if you are in a high vibration and you are practicing awareness (which is what we are teaching here; that awareness is a big part of it), meaning you are not in denial about how you feel, you are absolutely aware of how you feel. And if you are following those things, then you are following the best feeling path.
When you’re doing that, you are not going to ever be inspired to walk over bodies or hurt somebody else in the process. Those types of behaviors come from utter and complete powerlessness and unawareness; it comes from a lack of awareness and total denial. People who don’t know how they are really feeling and aren’t really aware of it cannot follow the best feeling path. They still do in some way, but their view is very limited, and so they take part in actions that nobody in their right mind really wants to take part in; but they are better feeling actions from a place of total powerlessness. Hurting somebody else feels less horrible, less powerless, than complete and total powerlessness. At least you have power over somebody else.
The only time people take those kinds of actions and have that kind of impact on others is when they feel they have to, they have no other choice. Again, they are coming from a place of powerlessness. The work that you are doing by becoming aware of following your bliss, by raising your vibration, means that you will never, ever be that person that participates in that type of manifestation. So you do not have to worry.
So, I’m here to tell you: No, you are not a bad person if you don’t want to actively help others and you don’t want to be Mother Theresa. You absolutely don’t have to be; you don’t have to do anything. Follow your own heart; stop listening to other people’s advice, especially when it contradicts what your heart, what your intuition is telling you. Follow your path of joy. Practice awareness and go inside and listen to that inner voice. It will never, ever steer you wrong. If that voice contradicts what conventional wisdom, or people out there, or teachers, or anyone else is saying, defer to that voice – always. It is the voice of your wisdom and it will never ever steer you wrong; it will lead you directly to your bliss. When it does that, and you follow it, and you trust that, you will have the greatest impact on the world and the Universe that you could possibly have.
So you know what? Tell that to those gurus that are telling you that you have to do this and you have to do that. Send them this video and then let me deal with them! Ha!
I hope I’ve answered your question. If you have a question of your own or you’d like to leave a comment, please do so below.
For this week, this is Melody Fletcher author of Deliberate Receiving: Finally, the Universe Makes Some Freaking Sense! This has been this week’s Q&A, and I’ll see you next week. Bye!