Is it possible to feel 100% powerful, to know that you’re an infinitely powerful creator, ALL. THE. TIME? Why do we, even after having studied and understood the CRAP out of this stuff, still sometimes dip into the fog where we don’t feel all that certain that we have any control at all? How long do we have to put up with doubt, goddammit? I answer these questions and more in today’s video. You’re welcome.
Coaching Call #206 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: How Can She Start to Live Her Life Again When She Still Misses Her Deceased Father?
This caller’s children are all grown up now and she’s ready to start living her own life again. She’s excited about a new project but she’s sabotaging it because she is scared about where it’s going to take her.
During the call we learn that her father transitioned 14 years ago and she still misses the love and security he provided. Nobody in her life has come close to making her feel as safe and secure as he did. She also feels a tremendous amount of guilt about not saying the things she wanted to say to him before he died – 14 years later this guilt is still with her.
Is there a connection between how scared she is to start living her own life again, and how much she misses the love and security her dad gave her? Is she right to feel guilty about things that were not said before he passed on, and can she find a way to feel better about his passing?
This call is for you if you are struggling with guilt after somebody you love has died. It’s also for you if you’re ready to create a new life, but are finding yourself sabotaging your own efforts.
Awesome Dudette’s Burning Question: “I would Love to know how I can live everyday with the LOA. I am so, so, so much happier than I was 5 years ago, and my life is good. But, during some periods, I just seem to forget a lot of what I’ve learned. I would love some small tips to keep the ‘I am a powerful and wonderful creator AND look at my amazing life’-vibe going.”
Well Awesome Dudette, here’s the thing: First of all, you cannot NOT live with the Law Of Attraction. It’s like saying I’d like some tips on living with gravity! It’s a law and it’s always working for you. It’s always working to attract things to you that you are a match to. Your reality is always mirroring back your vibration; it never ever stops.
What you really want to know is: How do you get into that state where you are deliberately attracting things into your reality? How do you attract the things that you actually want to attract into your reality? You want to know, how do you stay in that state where you know you are a powerful creator? And there, I can give you some tips.
The first thing that you have to do is to accept that you are not going to feel like a 100% happy shiny puppy all the time. And here’s why not:
Your vibrational range
You have a vibrational range and today’s most awesome thought, today’s most awesome perspective and today’s best feeling that you have access to will become tomorrow’s bottom of that range. As you continue moving up the vibrational ladder, there’s always going to be something at the bottom of that range that you’ll want to get rid of. There’s always going to be sandbags on your hot air balloon that you’ll want to cut loose and drop. But that doesn’t have to be a difficult or traumatic process.
Accept the fact that there are always going to be things that you want to get rid of. Things that are not currently limiting you, the beliefs that are right now serving you, can become limiting beliefs tomorrow. If you think about it this way: If your current belief system is the size of Box A, and you are operating within the limits of that box, if this is where you’re energy is at, then there’s no problem and no pressure. But if you start to expand and you start to evolve, there comes a point where you are going to break out of that box, or that belief system, and that belief system is going to become limiting to you. That is what happens when you start discovering beliefs that were not a problem before but have now become a problem.
This is not the same as the clean up period we go through when we get rid of unworthiness and we get rid of our childhood trauma. This is when we start to take things further. Things that weren’t a problem before will now start to become a problem. Although it’s not really a problem, it just becomes limiting. For example, when you were five years old you wore a certain size jeans and now you’re an adult you can’t get into them anymore. That’s not a problem; just get bigger jeans!
Accept the fact that you are going to have some negative emotion, you are going to dip from time to time, and you are going to become more aware of things. Your energy is going to seemingly dip from time to time. That’s part of your evolution and not only something that you’d do well to accept, but something you can accept as part of the awesome process that is working for you.
Nothing has gone wrong
What’s happening is that this is part of you stepping up. Part of you is levelling up as you expand and bust out of those limitations. This happens over and over again because where you are now isn’t a problem… until it is, and you bust out of it. Then something else isn’t a problem until it is and you bust out of it. Etc., etc.
Always understand when you are in the moment of resistance, when you are resisting and you have negative emotion going on, it’s like you’ve gone into a valley. You are not on the mountain top anymore where you have clarity. In the valley you don’t have that view and you can’t really see very far, which means that you seemingly forget what you know. You seemingly forget the beliefs that you’ve come to understand, they suddenly become grey, hazy and fuzzy. It means there is something inside of you that isn’t yet up to speed, but now you are in the process of bringing it up to speed.
By understanding this stuff intelligently, you can understand that if you keep yourself in a state of detachment where you can see what is happening, you see that you have some negative emotion going on, you then understand that nothing has gone wrong. You don’t have to freak out about it, because you understand it’s all part of the process of integrating a part of you that isn’t yet quite up to speed. You don’t yet have that clarity, but you are bringing it into the fold where you will have that clarity. It’s like a self healing.
I know I’m mixing a lot of metaphors here but I’m trying to make this clear for you so that you understand nothing has gone wrong. If you get into this space of “nothing has gone wrong, everything is going right”, you can actually celebrate these moments of dipping. Not only will that make the whole dipping experience much, much easier – you will surpass suffering (you will have some discomfort but you won’t suffer anymore), but you’ll come out of it much faster.
Don’t focus on trying to impress other people
In part of your question, you said: “I am a powerful and wonderful creator AND look at my amazing life.” I’m really nit-picking here, but you have a teeny little bit of focus on other people and proving this to them. You are focusing on you getting validation and justification from other people, but you don’t need to do that. Become aware of that when it’s happening. It’s not something that’s happening all the time, as you are in a really good state a lot of time, but I can feel it. Every once in a while you are going into, “let other people see what a great life I have.” In those moments you are actually in a little bit of self-doubt. You are wanting validation from outside of yourself. When you do that, there’s actually a little bit of a dip where you still have a tendency to look for validation outside of yourself. You are not yet stepping into your power.
What this really comes down to, and the empowerment that we talk about, is you recognizing that you have the ability (THIS IS YOUR POWER!), to unconditionally focus on that which is not yet in your physical reality. You achieve a feeling of your choice. It is your choice. You can choose to focus in a way that allows you to feel the way that you want to feel – unconditionally. This means it’s not tied to outside conditions; it’s not tied to anything that must happen so that you can feel this way. You can generate the feeling within yourself anytime.
That sounds like, “Can I feel good all the time?” On some levels you can. You can actually feel good about not feeling good. So the answer is yes… and no! Sometimes you are going to dip as you bust out of that next level of limitation, and there is going to be some discomfort in doing that. You can actually feel good about that, because you understand what’s going on and you can still feel good. This means you won’t have any suffering and you won’t be sitting there wondering why you don’t feel good. You can know generally what is going on, and you can move through it and out of it much, much faster.
So essentially, I’ve taken nearly 10 minutes to explain to you that if you take the judgement out of it, then you are going to feel a lot better and you are going to be in a more powerful place. Tah-dah!
Hopefully all that made sense! This was this week’s Q&A. For now, I’m Melody Fletcher, author of Deliberate Receiving. Huge happy shiny puppy hugs to all of you and see you next week.