Are You Sabotaging Your Enjoyment of Life?

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by Melody Fletcher on May 5, 2016

Image Credit: http://nabhan.deviantart.com/gallery/

 

UK Puppies! I’m going to holding a full day workshop at Alternatives in London on May 28th. Come and join me for super clarity, hilarity, a massive Q&A section (get your questions answered!), and a book signing. I can’t wait to meet you in person! So come on down!

You can check out the deets and buy tickets HERE.

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I’ve noticed how so many people tend to crap all over their enjoyment of life; they don’t give themselves permission to celebrate even pretty spectacular stuff. Watch today’s video below, to find out if you’re doing this, and how to stop.

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Coaching Call #203 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: How Can She Coach Clients In Weight Loss If She’s Not At Her Ideal Weight Yet?

This caller has a coaching practice helping clients to understand the relationship their bodies have with the food they eat. She wants her practice to be a huge success but her doubts creep in because she’s not yet reached her own ideal weight.  She’s concerned that clients won’t seek her out because she’s not, in her view, 100% perfect herself yet.

Can we coach people when we haven’t achieved perfection ourselves yet?  What does it mean to be 100% perfect, and is that really something we are striving for anyway?

This call is for you if you have a desire to help others but you don’t believe you can bring value to anybody unless you’ve achieved 100% perfection yourself.

Read the full call summary here.

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Video:

 

Transcript:

I was having a conversation with one of my clients the other day about how we often sabotage ourselves from truly enjoying life and really enjoying the moment, and I recalled that in the 90′s I was living in Las Vegas where I was a dealer in a casino for almost 5 years (one of my past lives, in this life).

The divide between the locals and the tourists

One of the things that I observed back then between the locals and those people who came to Vegas a lot, who were in the know and were used to the establishment – they knew how to act in Vegas, was that there was a real divide between them and the tourists, those tourists who maybe hadn’t come to Vegas before. This divide is always there in resort towns or establishments that have a lot of regulars and non-regulars.

You’ll also see the same thing happening in cities where there’s a lot of tourism. For example, in Barcelona, where I lived, you could see the divide with the locals (and the people who considered themselves locals, even though they’re foreigners), when the tourists came in. This divide can usually been seen by the level of enthusiasm that people have.

The local people in Vegas who went to the casinos and gambled a lot barely gave things a second glance. There are these huge casinos in Vegas with gorgeous decorations, things that look like the Eifel Tower or a little New York and other amazing creations (the size of small cities really) that the locals went by every day, but because they’re used to it, they didn’t give anything another glance. So the people who came to Vegas a lot or who lived there, they usually didn’t have a whole lot of emotion going on. They’d put their chips in, “Meh!” Maybe they’d lose a hand, “Meh!” They’d place another bet, “Meh!”, even win a hand, “Meh!” Everything was kind of “Meh!”. There wasn’t a lot of emotion when they won; there wasn’t a lot of emotion when they lost; there just wasn’t a lot of emotion.

I dealt very high stake games, but every once in a while I’d get a break from those tables and I’d be put on the $5 tables which is considered a low limit table – the lowest limit table that large casinos have; for example $5 blackjack. I’d get some tourists from the Mid-West who’d never been to Vegas or they’d only once been to Jackpot or Reno. These guys were placing a $5 bet, and don’t get me wrong, $5 per bet can add up to a lot of money, but in Vegas terms it’s not an incredible amount of money. If these guys won, or god forbid got a blackjack, they would lose their goddamned minds! They would be high-fiving the entire table and joking around having a fantastic time. If they lost, they’d still have a big reaction – “Oh, I thought I had that one! Better luck next time; its ok!” They’d jokingly rile each other up; they were having the best of times.

I always enjoyed dealing at those tables because they were having such a party! But I also remember the disdain from the locals (I was considered a local although I’d only lived there for 5 years, because working in the casinos meant you were considered a local). This disdain that the locals and the dealers had for people went something like this: “Oh, look at them getting excited about $5. I can’t believe these people get so excited about five dollars!” The locals and the dealers obviously didn’t think $5 bets were worth getting excited about.

They’d also point out the people who were rubber-necking at the buildings and say, “Look at them looking at the buildings (that we walk by every day, because aren’t we special!) And can you just get out of my way?! You’re slowing everything down! Stupid tourists…” You see this behaviour a lot in cities where there’s tourism.

There’s this whole psychology that when you’re used to something or when something is deemed small, like a $5 bet, that it’s not worth getting excited about. But what we are really saying in that moment is: “That’s not a big enough deal for me to get into a state of enjoyment for.”

Give yourself permission to enjoy what you are doing

I know that many of you are not extroverts, many of you are introverts and you may be bristling at the idea of having to come out and be all “Woohoo, that’s amazing!” You don’t! What I’m saying is give yourself permission to really enjoy what it is you’re doing. How you choose to express that is up to you.

I always wonder – if you can no longer enjoy what it is you’re doing because you are so used to it now, or you’ve deemed it to be such a tiny deal, then why are you doing it?  Why not go and do something new? Why do we have disdain for people who are enthusiastic about something and who are showing that enthusiasm? Is it because we have deemed it as not a big deal? Is it not cool? Is it more cool to be cynical and not enjoy your life?

It really is about the tiny little moments

Our lives are made up of tiny little moments, billions, trillions, cajillions of tiny little moments. Many times we try to focus on the big stuff that we hope is coming, but that’s still in the future, instead of focusing on all the little stuff that’s going on around us all the time.  There are so many more of those moments.

From a Law Of Attraction point of view, of course, enjoying and focusing on the moment is a great way to get into the now, where all your power is. If you are enjoying the moment, even if it’s something small, if you’re just giving yourself permission to really enjoy it and celebrate it and you look for ways to get into that state, guess what you are doing with your energy? You are saying, “More of this please.”

You are not saying “more of these tiny little things please”, but rather you are saying, “more of the things that I can get ridiculously happy about; more things that I can get stupid enthusiastic about please! Bring me more stuff like this please. Fill my life with stuff like this!” Because I don’t want to be sitting on the couch going, “Meh!”; I don’t want to go to a beautiful foreign city and say “Meh! Been there, done that – next!” I don’t want to be bored!

So what I’m suggesting that we all do is: To do what we enjoy but also to enjoy what it is we do.

For now, I’m Melody Fletcher, author of Deliberate Receiving. Huge happy shiny puppy hugs to all of you and see you next week. Bye!

 

{ 36 comments }

Jasmine May 5, 2016 at 22:49

Aw. I was looking forward to this! Heh, please notify me when the transcript is up! <3

Melody Fletcher May 12, 2016 at 15:06

Hey Jasmine,

The transcript is up now.

Smooshy hugs!

Melody

Brandon May 5, 2016 at 22:51

This is awesome Melody.

I can really relate to the part about boredom. A few months ago I was really starting to get bored with my business. I focused on manifesting more awesome things to do, and now there’s so much to do that the days just fly by, and I love what I am doing.

I think variety is so important. It’s natural to get bored with the same thing over and over again. So we need to change it up from time to time. :)
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Brandon May 5, 2016 at 22:55

By the way: I was just rereading your book, Melody. I read it towards the end of last year, but my energy is in such a different place now than it was back then. I feel like I can absorb the teachings so much more. it’s interesting to compare where I am now vs. where I was then, and how much I can relate to what you were discussing in the book.
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S & S May 5, 2016 at 23:32

I can definitely do that. Appreciating everything is my forte. I’ll continue to add to the happy stream and build it stronger and stronger.

That disdain you describe for others excitement is interesting. I recall teenagers growing up being cynical for those who were enjoying the novelty and milestones in life. They wanted to be seen as wise and experienced. They used sarcasm instead of being upbeat and joyful. I detected a lot of negativity in their lives back then before learning any of this.

My wide eyed innocence for life experiences despite being in my 40′s amazes most people I meet (this could be why I attract the young men to my yard and I thought it was my milkshake ha). I have spent a great deal of my life being sheltered from a father to a husband and now I’m out and about in the world and thoroughly enjoying experiences most of my friends had 20 years ago. While my younger sister loves the way I carry myself, she believes she knows what’s best for me and having these fun experiences is not, by her books, something someone my age should be doing (you know experiencing a couple of vodkas once a month and dancing all night long – evil I know!) By our age, we should be angry at our partners, screaming at our kids with occasional kisses and hugs and me remaining great friends with my ex husband and father of my children is downright weird according to her.

I’ve received the same message twice today and that is to focus on the little stuff, see my world and beautiful city like someone from a third world country would with awe. I’m one of those people who doesn’t have to pretend (you know fake it to make it), I can find much to be joyful and grateful about.

I have to say thanks, your anger release video’s have been screaming out to me for years and I kept denying them, avoiding them thinking anger would create more powerless experiences I had some years back, not realizing that by releasing the pent up anger, it would give me much release from my fears. I have released enough to breath again and I’m going to release a little bit more each day to ensure I don’t go into the cycle of doom (if I recall the phrase correctly).

I just wanted to say thanks, I didn’t realize it was powerlessness that was keeping me in the void. Maybe I wouldn’t shift because of my stubbornness but eventually the universe got my attention via you. Many thanks Melody for providing a simple to understand message about anger release. I wish I had gotten out of my own way a few years ago. I’m so stubborn but I guess that stubbornness can be good when I keep my vibes flying high so I take the good with the bad.

Much love xx

bernie May 6, 2016 at 02:17

brilliant yes! grinning at the computer from soon to be sunny Mallorca x
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debbie dorman May 6, 2016 at 02:38

This was a timely post, as usual! I started dating a guy I have liked for 4 years a few months ago, and although at times I am insanely happy and can’t believe my luck, more often than not, I dwell on getting frustrated that he is not as into me as I want and I get stuck in what I’m not getting rather than being grateful that I get to put my arms around this lovely man.

Jon May 6, 2016 at 03:16

I’m having trouble manifesting a transcript, what am I doing wrong? ;-)
Actually, the lack of same led me to read a couple of Brandon’s posts, so it’s all good and as it’s supposed to be. Good stuff Brandon, welcome ‘back’.
Jon

Brandon May 8, 2016 at 10:36

Thanks John :D I really appreciate it.
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Brandon May 8, 2016 at 21:05

sorry, misspelled your name. I’m visually impaired and use a screenreader, so didn’t even check to notice your name is spelled Jon. Oops
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Jon May 8, 2016 at 23:40

Not a problem Brandon, but thanks.

Julie May 6, 2016 at 07:37

This was great Melody! I work in a beautiful tourist area and I know exactly what you mean. Thanks for the reminders of what I am looking right thru instead of seeing what is beautiful and something to be grateful for that is right in front of me everyday. I need to see it thru the first timers eyes…

Just Call Me A. May 6, 2016 at 07:38

Doesn’t life make one cynical though? As a child, teen and in my 20s I celebrated everything and got excited, but going through life and being around other people, I became like them, and hardly crack a smile anymore, like robots just going through the motions and being glum.

I know, life is about little stuff. Thank you for the reminder.

John Hare May 6, 2016 at 07:56

Thank you, Melody! I needed to hear your message! Very well stated, as usual!

Anonymous May 6, 2016 at 08:21

I can definitely relate to this!! Having lived in a famous touristic city, I know what you mean about the cynicism of people who are used to everything. Personally tourists never really bothered me too much…they usually looked happy and were enjoying themselves, and it feels good to be around that energy. I had other local friends too who allowed themselves to celebrate and still got excited over the little things. I had one friend, who had lived there his entire life, who still loved to explore the city and photograph its architecture. He was just in awe of the beauty around him, and how uplifting it is to be around people like that!
Celebrating feels so good and fun! At the end of the day, it can be fun to make a list of all the wonderful things you experienced that day. Even small things, like eating delicious ice cream or seeing a family of animals with cute babies can provoke so much excitement.
I think a lot of people are cynical because it’s cool to be!! Looking happy, especially enthusiastic, isn’t cool! The cool people tend to look edgy and moody, “too cool” for everyone else. But they don’t seem to be having much fun or really enjoying themselves.

Anonymous May 6, 2016 at 10:39

What about when people who know about LOA shut you down, or try to dampen your joy, even if they think they’re helpful? People who say things like “you must not really be feeling as good as you say” or “you need to clear these issues up”, “you need to do this” (instead of following my gut, which says not to.) I find it ironic, how a lot of times, it’s the most “spiritual” people who are the biggest downers. I don’t think they mean to be, but sometimes when I listen to them I get a very bad feeling…like they want to dilute my joy when I’m feeling good?

Melody Fletcher May 7, 2016 at 12:57

Ooh, I think this will make a great video. :) Stay tuned!

Hugs,
Melody

Anonymous May 7, 2016 at 18:16

Terrific Melody!! This sounds like it will be a great video!! Can’t wait to see it ;)

Anonymous May 7, 2016 at 18:22

I forgot to add, these are the types of people who assume that you can’t be feeling as good as you are, because to them you are faking it and achieving too big of a vibrational leap. But what if you just worked your way into joy rather quickly? Or in an indirect way, different from what they advise you to do?

Anonymous2 May 9, 2016 at 19:21

Thanks for prompting such an interesting future vlog/blog from Meloney (sorry but I just had to type that because it makes me laugh each time I hear someone call Melody that).

While it may appear to others as a vibrational leap, I have understood that while our shifts are still incremental, the speed may just be faster on that particularly subject for you.

You seem to know abit about LOA based on your comment. I want to ask you something…

If we choose not to share our LOA beliefs with anyone anymore (because in the past other people’s negativity on our positive outlook has knocked us down a few vibe ladder rungs) – does that mean our LOA belief isn’t as strong as we once thought or does that mean we just dont want other people’s vibes knocking us down?

I know if I was certain about my beliefs I shouldn’t be worried what others say, right?

Suzanna May 6, 2016 at 08:35

I love this!
I live in a quintessential rural New England town, but on a busy route. I visited a friend who lived in another state, in another quintessential rural NE town. I told her how lucky she was to live in such a scenic town. And she said to me: “But honey, you do too.” I have appreciated where I live ever since. And although the traffic noise gets me down sometimes, I know they are wondering who is the lucky person living on that farm? :)

Terry May 6, 2016 at 18:28

Hey Melody,
Beautifully said again ! You are amazing.

Summer May 6, 2016 at 19:37

I’m kind of going through that “meh” feeling right now. I did recently go through a period of depression and anger, so I’m assuming I’m just going through another natural progression. It’s funny, I did win $5 on a scratch off the other day. I thought that was pretty cool. :)
I live in a tourist-y town also but I really love meeting people from out of town. They always talk about how pretty and green it is here and how there’s so much to do here and it really helps me to appreciate where I live. I’ve lived here all of my life. I do stop and take a moment to appreciate just how pretty it is here now and then, but I probably don’t appreciate it as much as the tourists do. If you are the nature, outdoorsy type (which I am) this is the place to be! I guess this place wasn’t nicknamed “The Scenic City” for nothing. :)
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Sadeea May 7, 2016 at 02:57

Melody,
I am loving you more and more. You have become like a Guru for me.
Thank you!!
oh btw I just love watching you do meh :)

Anonymous May 9, 2016 at 19:25

Welcome to the club, she’s an amazing woman. It feels so good when others recognize her qualities like I do.

I wish I could manifest hundreds more Melody’s or just much MUCH much more of this Melody.

Alexx May 7, 2016 at 11:04

I was having a conversation about something very similar earlier this week.

I was looking back on the last few years of my life and realised how it sounds awesome to another person, yet I feel no emotion whatsoever about it.

For example, I spent two years in Los Angeles where I was an intern at CBS, got to work with writers on certain shows, moved back home (to New Zealand), landed a job in Parliament and ended up on first name terms with the Prime Minister.

10 years ago this would have all been beyond my wildest dreams, yet for some reason I treat it, to use your words, as “meh”.

Anonymous May 9, 2016 at 19:59

Isn’t that quite normal. My understanding is when it’s going to happen, it’s expected, and that’s why it feels “meh”. I remember desperately desiring something so much 2 years ago but only received it last night and I was reasonably happy about it, but had it happened 2 years ago when I was visualizing it and feeling wonderful about it, I would have kissed the ground and cried happy tears.

Is that how you feel, was the timing too long (10 years?) Is it because you had to wait so long for it and by then your desire had morphed and changed?

But you’re right, without the high feeling the external means nothing. Infact I noticed it so much that I even changed my desires from wanting some silly external matches to send me something that makes me feel more of that euphoria and giddiness. It really doesn’t matter anymore about the external so long as that feeling comes again. Maybe your prestige life doesn’t truly excite you, maybe you love the feeling from making music or throwing paint all over yourself and sliding down a waterslide making waterslide art. Just a suggestion.

R May 8, 2016 at 14:44

Hi Melody,
First, I love this video! And I agree, celebrating is the joy of life and makes it so much more fun! It’s so important to appreciate and milk all of those delightful everyday pleasures.

Today I had a little breakthrough: I’ve been assuming my set point on various issues has been way lower than it really is, mostly around depression and despair. I’ve been doing a lot of anger exercises, but would end up feeling worse. Then I realized, negative feelings have a spectrum, just as positive ones do. When I get into anger, jealousy, hatred, insecurity and similar emotions on them, usually I end up feeling much worse. I notice, the negative feelings, the resistance I have, is actually more around feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, worried and pessimistic. This realization has brought me so much relief! No wonder I kept feeling awful and instinctively went to distract and diffuse when I would fall into a more intensely painful emotion.

So now, I’m wondering, what are good ways, to clear beliefs that lie around overwhelm, pessimism, worry and discouragement? (Sorry I know it’s a big range!) I naturally find a lot of relief when I back off the issues, but I worry I may be doing more damage by pushing them aside than dealing with them directly. When the urge is strong, I do address them in a more direct way, but usually I don’t get very far in shifting them up the ladder, or if I do, the momentum doesn’t stay. Is it normal to have to go back and work on shifting beliefs even if you made improvement once? I guess I want to know if the maintenance of the new beliefs, having to consciously put some effort into thinking them more often, is normal.

Thank you!

Marina May 8, 2016 at 22:07

I just read the article “Are You Good Enough for the Lover You Want?” and it fits my situation perfectly! But I was wondering Melody if you could please go into more detail?

I have been visualizing being in a relationship with an AMAZING man. No one in specific, but this awesome guy I’ve created in my mind.
Handsome, sexy, fun, kind, intelligent, generous, caring, spiritual, successful, just my overall dream guy! I visualize our relationship as everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more.

Here’s the thing though: I don’t feel good enough for him! I don’t feel beautiful or pretty enough for him. Nor do I feel accomplished enough in my own life for him. I’m not really sure, if he would consider someone like me as anymore than a girl to sleep with for a night.
I can’t let go and stop dreaming of this desire though.

How can I feel more deserving of this person?
How can I feel better about myself so I can allow him into my life?
There are things I’d like to change about myself, but I’m not sure how to go about them. And I’m not really certain if taking action to change things is the best way to shift beliefs (in my experience, the energetic work has had much better results.)

x Marina

S & S (Samantha) May 9, 2016 at 20:34

Of course we feel “meh”. Being grateful isn’t working for me, people say maybe you need to do something else, I can’t even find a better feeling anymore, there’s no motivation to do that anymore, it’s not working. I’ve been doing my best to find a better feeling for years and I can see my life has shifted to a better place (not because of LOA but because I’ve become a better person and people respond better to kindness and positivity compared to the spiteful and bitter woman I was and becoming again). If this is the speed of the universe giving me what I want, I will need to live 10 lifetimes. What is it waiting for. It’s so easy for my higher self/universe it to create what I want. There’s 8 billion to send me. If it would get out of my way, I could do a better job of creating the ultimate situation.

I’ve always said the way LOA works is unfair. The universe has a weird sense of humour. It feels like a cruel joke to me. Lets suppose our higher selves created this 3d dimension, did they sit around and say “Lets create a world where all these little us desire something but lets not give it to them bwahaha – they can’t have it until they no longer want it that much they stop caring”.

Or maybe they aren’t evil bastards but they have no concept of time up there. For heavens sake, Bigger Samantha get off your fat ass and send me someone fun and wonderful, even a friend. I’m bored of the mundane stressful crap! Where’s the fun we are supposed to be having. I want contentment, joy and bliss – I know it’s there I’ve had it once before! If my nature is about having fun, why didn’t I select a more enjoyable and exciting 3d dimension or parrallel life. Shift already! Just want to experience that high, that excitement from this place, not from misery.

Maybe my happy external disposition was just a lie because if it were true then I’d have an amazing fun life with wonderful people around me. I’d be learning, connecting, bonding and feeling wonderful.

We would be all so excited if we could jump from where we are to our desires, that would make us ultra giddy and happy. I’m not saying in a few minutes but lets say we get what we want after a couple of weeks would be still exciting. Waiting decades for something is dumb and stupid by then our interests have changed and thus the “meh” feeling. Oh yeah thanks higher self sending me that lollipop I wanted at 5 years of age while I’m 25 years old. So grateful NOT!!!

The way this works, is that you have to already feel you have it to actually have it and if you can get to that feeling, well you probably wont want it anymore because you’ve already experienced the feeling and can do it just in your head. Probably what schizophrenics and yogis have mastered.

I dont have a mental disorder (although my sister, Simmy may disagree) to do that. Despite practicing LOA from 2005, I can’t create a feeling before knowing what that feeling feels like. I can only reminisce or recapture a feeling with a song that reminds me of it. I experienced being in love 5 years ago, it was amazing but I couldn’t have created that feeling in my head beforehand because it was the first time ever experiencing it but it still turned up so my bet is we dont have to create the feeling first.

When I was in love suddenly the grass looked greener (literally which was spooky), and I felt euphoric, I noticed more people smiling at me and I didn’t have happy thoughts prior to finding that man who made me feel that way. Unfortunately it was short lived and while the heartbreak was unbareable it was better than the f***ing boredom I’ve been living in. Meh is what happens when you’ve been grateful for everything, you’ve searched for the good in life but when you dont get what you want or you know you’ll have to wait a billion years to get it because your higher self is on strike (waiting for devine timing) then you end up angry and wanting to become a psycho. I can see why people become so screwed. What’s the point in being responsible when it appears it’s all an illusion. Maybe we dont have free will, maybe our lives are predetermined after all and all this happy practice has been me fooling myself. Maybe I created someone like you who I could admire so I could believe in this fairytale.

Maybe something is missing to these teachings of the patterns of the universe. I want answers. Something is amiss. Maybe the secret is finding a way to speed up something. How do you speed up letting it go, speed up resistance, you can’t. Nup just wait a decade or century for your desire because our higher selves are having a snooze. Why did I pick this f***ing irritating, boring and annoying 3d dimension. It’s sucks.

So pissed off!

PS I’ve intentionally put my name in the username section to stop my post bypassing the filter. It may bring others down which is not my intention so inserted (Samantha) but I wanted you to know I’m over all this bs. I’m done believing in this fairytale for 11 years. It isn’t working! It worked three times but as my mathematician friend showed me, that’s just a mathematical probability. I’m joining the masses who know there’s no secret, no pattern, nothing. We are here by ourselves. We are a grain of sand and if our higher selves do exist, they dont give a shit about us, they have no concept of time and this video game has the worst graphics, sound track and challenges ever known to the 3d dimension. BORING.

Brandon May 12, 2016 at 07:11

Samantha,

It can work. There are tons of people for whom it does work. Actually it does work for everyone, if you understand the principles.

Your language sounds very forceful. Sometimes we make ourselves think we’re feeling great, but we’re just doing what Abraham calls “happy-face sticking”, where we pretend we’re feeling good when we’re really not.

It sounds like you’re trying to force your reality into place, and that won’t ever work.

Why don’t you focus on what you *do* have in your life right now that’s fun? Are you saying no moment of your day is even a little exciting, or enjoyable?

A few months ago I had a boredom manifestation going on. All I did was to focus on what I enjoyed, and within a month or so I had more going on than I knew what to do with. That’s still the case now.

From the sound of your post, you’ve been building up resistance more and more. Of course you’re frustrated with it. And that’s really a good thing. The point is just to let go of the whole thing. Let go and let the Universe finally do its thing. And no it doesn’t take forever. I find the more you let go, the faster the time buffer can be.
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S & S (Samantha) May 12, 2016 at 19:14

Thank you Brandon.

My downfall was me aiming for 100% “forced” happiness and anything that posed a threat to that happiness created a fear I would attract scary experiences but eventually the inner crazy me was going to spill out and I’m glad it did on this blog (which is my safe haven) as opposed to with people in my real life. Airing my frustrations this way actually somehow gave me relief although I will do my best not to make it a habit.

I now know it’s safe if I focus on releasing negative emotions. I know I wont necessarily attract anything too scary if I simply keep the balance of my thoughts geared towards good feelings. I worried I was backstabbing people before and that was unethical and immoral but yelling at someone from afar and doing it alone isn’t backstabbing, it’s just airing my true thoughts.

Most recently I have seen awful events around me that involve friends. I started to worry that this was a result of my negative thoughts. You see, I believe the universe gives us messages and signs as feedback where we are vibrating and the first sign is witnessing what is happening to others, after that the universe gives us a whisper, and then it talks to us some more and lastly it screams at us before finally slapping us (I think Oprah described it that way). So, after witnessing what was happening around me, I went into a panic trying to stay happy to avoid anything bad happening (I have some issues surround this as I learned about LOA the hard way because I was too stubborn to shift out of my negativity by myself – Cattle Prod Method!). In hindsight, maybe (please confirm if you know) they could have been other messages for example;

1. Look over here at this war your friend is going through, you’re not experiencing this, aren’t you grateful for all the peace in your life?
or
2. Hey Samantha, stop forcing yourself to be happy, let some of that negative energy out, allow a balance to have a chance by releasing your true feelings about people (just not to them).

So maybe it’s not a sign of impending doom when I’m seeing it in others, maybe it’s a sign to be grateful. I dont know. I’m so confused.

I’ve taken LOA too seriously. Would you believe I’ve even been too frightened even to type my fears scared it may attract more. I can feel my severe anxiety returning and I keep reminding myself it’s going to be OK, it is, isn’t it?

The boredom regarding NOT having a male companion, felt like hell. Something has shifted, ever so small but I’m grateful for it. I’m still shitty with big Samantha, it would be nice if she would explain to me the delay.

I’m also grateful to people like you, Brandon, who respond kindly, thank you for taking the time out for me.

Brandon May 12, 2016 at 19:44

I’ll give you a simple litmus test for knowing whether you’re at a positive vibration or not:

If you feel like you have to force it, or could lose it, then it’s happy-face stickering.

Happiness can’t be threatened. Actually, happiness is what’s left over when the resistance is cleared away.

That “forced” feeling you feel is your resistance.

But you can’t lie to the Universe. So, if you have that fear of your happiness being threatened, just try to soothe that. Admit how you really feel and accept it.

That’s not going to manifest more unwanted things. You’re just admitting to yourself what’s already there. And accepting it is the first step to shifting that resistance.

Hmm, I somewhat disagree with your signs hypothesis. All that you see is a manifestation of your current vibration. It’s not a sign of doom or anything, unless you focus on it so much that you manifest more unwanted.

But, the stuff going on with your friends is their manifestation. You can’t manifest in someone else’s reality.

But you *can* use it to boost your own manifestation, either wanted or unwanted.

If you look at it and say, “I’m glad I don’t have that issue,” and feel good about that, then it boosts your own wanted progression.

If you look at it and say, “What if that happens to me?” then you boost your own unwanted progression.

So really you choose how you see it. The Universe is just showing you what’s already there, within you, if you’re reacting to it like that.

Of course it’s going to be okay. :) And typing out your fears won’t do anything, as long as it’s a way of getting them out and accepting them, rather than going deeper with them. It can be a really healing process.

The *ONLY* question is: do you feel better doing whatever you are doing? If yes, then you are making progress towards what you want. If no, then you are making progress towards what you don’t want.

That’s why you have this awesome emotional guidance system. It’s really a beautiful thing. :D

The delay has to do with your resistance. Your higher self wants to give you everything you want. In fact your higher self is over there enjoying all of it already, vibrationally speaking. She’s just waiting for you to catch up. It’s totally your decision as to when you catch up with that. But as long as you insist on giving focus to what you don’t want, you’ll keep your vibration down in the unwanted range. That’s okay, of course, but it’s good to know what you are doing. :)

I’m always happy to help. Sorry about such a long reply, but I’d rather be thorough. :)

Brandon
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Terry May 10, 2016 at 21:05

Hey Melody,

I know this will be out -of -the-ordinary, but, our conscious universe is at present
in our NOW right ?
What about our dream consciousness ! Or our dream universe is at present also
in our NOW right ?
Please tell me if it is okay to tell more about…this…
Thanks Ter…

Abi M May 13, 2016 at 09:01

Thanks, Melody! This is so true..I was feeling bored and getting lazy with focusing on the positives for the past few months. I was focusing a bit too much on what I didn’t want and getting angery that changes weren’t happening. I ended up getting a super painful sore throat for over a week, which I tortured myself by not going to the doctor at first, and it turned out to be strep throat. (First time ever getting it!) and once I got better, I have felt a new zeal and excitement for life! Nothing like some contrast to pull you back up and realize how good it feels to relish in the simple positive everyday moments. (Like no pain when swallowing lol.) I love what you said about how this is what life is made up of and to stop “waiting for the big things” and just enjoy as much a the little things on a more constistent basis. It makes me so much happier to do this. :)

Jon May 14, 2016 at 01:12

This resonated. My local town is Cambridge (uk) which is about the biggest tourist honey trap outside London. I was brought up there from age 13. I don’t Wow at the beautiful buildings anymore, but I do have a deep affection for them. I just don’t need to get delirious every time I look at them. Sometime I just need to get where I am going.
I went to college in the West End of London. Same deal.
I know the ‘meh’ thing, and have felt it, especially as a teenager, but you can’t force yourself to keep reacting although seeing things for the first time, you have to find other, less obvious aspects of a place to enjoy I think.
And you do get a good feeling from knowing that you are somehow ‘part’ of the place. I guess that would be ‘appreciation’.

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