Does Anything Actually Exist?

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by Melody Fletcher on July 23, 2015

 

A reader asks if everything actually exists. Is it all an illusion? And if so, what does that say about other people? Should we just disregard them? See the full question and answer below.

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Coaching Call #162 is out! The topic for this week’s call is: Can She Have a Thriving Business Without the Burnout?

This caller worked with young adults who’ve left foster care and her joy is helping them to become more empowered and confident. Although she loved her job she suffered burnout, so she gave it up. She now feels ready to have clients again but without the burnout this time.

This is a great call that explains why we create burnout and what we need to do to focus our energy in the right way so that we get what we want much easier.

This call is for you, if you’re working too hard and the path you’re walking on feels so exhausting that you’re ready to give it all up.

Read the full call summary here.

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Awesome Dudette’s Burning Question:

“I was just listening to Abe a few days ago and something just hit me out of nowhere, Abe said that just because we have memories of an experience that doesn’t actually give us enough evidence to validate its existence. Like for example, just because I remember traveling to Paris, that isn’t enough evidence to prove that I actually went to Paris. It doesn’t make it more valid than for example me thinking I went to London instead. Which is a really great concept because it reminds me that the past doesn’t matter as much as we think. I also appreciate this because it always without fail gives me a boost of self-esteem and confidence every time I remember it.

I just want to ask though, what does actually matter?  Not in the sense that “oh nothing actually means anything anymore…” But in the sense of the stuff that we have, and that we call our own, do I need to give them up and believe that they don’t exist every time I leave my Billion dollar home to go to the club? Do I have to forget about my family and about the people whom I love and just write them off as invalid because they’re just memories and the evidence I have doesn’t make them real?

 

Here’s my response:

Transcript:

This is a fantastic question awesome Dudette, and I’m going to answer it…because you asked, but let me warn you, we are going to go down the rabbit hole today!

Do other people actually exist?

This is a question that a lot of people, as they really get deeper into this work, start to bump up against.  Does anything actually exist?  When you start to realise that you’re just in this hologram and that everything in your reality is just a reflection of your vibration, it can start to feel a little lonely.  It can start to feel like you really are just this person in a room and things are projecting and nothing is actually real.  And that is how it kind of is, but… also – it’s not.  The universe is full of paradoxes! For example, you can’t get what you want until you don’t need it anymore.  That’s one of those wonderful paradoxes, and we are going to talk about a few more here today in this concept.

The way that I like to think about it is:  Consider one really large diamond with many, many facets cut into it and this diamond splits off into a bunch of smaller diamonds and each one of those splits off into even smaller diamonds and so on.  Eventually you’ll have all these tiny little diamonds with many, many facets – multi-faceted diamonds floating around in your consciousness right here, right now. Now, consider you are ONE of those diamonds.  When you match up with another one of those diamonds, you get to see the facet or the facets. You’ll never see all of them, ever, just the ones that you are a vibrational match to.  You can never know 100% of somebody’s facets; you can only see the ones that are pointing at you, the ones that you are a match to.  You are not even aware of all of your own facets, only the part of you that you are being right now.  So, do those other people really exist?  Yes, they do, but if you were to merge all of those diamonds all the way up to the level of the big diamond then we are all still a part of that one big whole diamond. This is one of those paradoxes that I was talking about: we’re all the big diamonds but we’re also the little diamonds at the same time.

This is philosophy; this is theory, because you can’t ever experience this while you’re human. You’re not built to.  You are built to have a very specific experience, which means you can only hold one perspective at a time, but it’s useful to know that there are many other perspectives of yourself, of other people and of all situations always available for you to either step into or not, for you to either experience or not.

The reason why I’m telling you this is to set up the next bit about memories.

All memories are false

When you focus on a frequency, the first thing that you are going to get is some emotional feedback.  An emotion is actually a manifestation.  The next stage on a progression manifestation, as the progression gets bigger, are thoughts, memories and ideas.  Thoughts are manifestations, memories are manifestations and ideas are manifestations.  You cannot have a memory that you are not a vibrational match to.  If you are in a miserable mood, you are not going to remember a happy memory.  If you’re in a really happy mood, you are not going to remember an unhappy memory.  If you are sort of in between, you’ve got to see what memory comes up.  We work with this memory manifestation, quite a bit.  With my coaching clients, I’ll ask them to focus on a feeling, because it’s hard to focus on a frequency without having some kind of feedback.  So I’ll ask them to focus on a feeling for a minute or two and what often happens is that a memory will come up that feels exactly like that emotion, it will give them more information.

When you remember something from when you were 5 years old, do you really think that you remember it exactly as it happened, or do you remember a certain perspective of it?  Is that perspective completely whole?  Of course not – it never will be!  You will have only the memory of the perspective that you were able to hold at the time.  For example, if you have a conversation with your parents and they were there in that memory, if you say to them, “Well you said this…” (reiterating what your perspective was at the time) and they say, “No we never said that, this is what happened…” They can give you more information and they can now share their perspective with you, which by the way, you have to be ready to hear (that’s a manifestation as well).  What happens then is that you’ll get more information and as your perspective expands you’ll get access to more facets of that experience.   Often you will drop the old facet completely and take on a new perspective, now that you’re able to see it through different eyes; something you were not able to do at the time. As you are only ever able to remember the perspective (the facets that you had access to back then), all memories are essentially false to a certain degree.  You are never, ever going to get to the complete “truth” of an experience because there really isn’t any truth, there’s only ever whatever facet (perspective), you held at the time.

Does it than really matter if the memory is completely false?  You remember going to London, you had a fantastic time, it was great, but it never actually happened and no-one in your reality remembers going there.  Or true, you remember going to Paris, you remember it in a way that isn’t holistic but it doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what actually happened.  Does that really matter?  Well, yes and no – again a paradox.  If the memory is a positive one, if it feels good, then you want to leave it alone.  It doesn’t matter if it happened or not or whether it’s a real memory or a false memory.  If it feels good, it has shown up to match the vibration you are in right now.  It’s evidence that you’re on a good path, you’re on a good feeling progression, which is going to grow and eventually manifest into actual physical experiences that involves other people.  It (the manifestation) may have nothing to do with London or Paris, but it will feel the same.  You are on a positive progression, you are manifesting positively.  If a memory comes up that doesn’t feel good, then you want to take a look at it, remembering that there are other perspectives you can adopt and you want to look for those perspectives.

I’ll give you an example:  I had a memory that I’d held onto for many years and it wasn’t until I was in my 30′s that I cleared this.  It was a memory of my grandfather beating me.  When my mother came home, I told her about it and her response was, “Well you must have deserved it.”  I felt unbelievably betrayed by that and also it just didn’t fit with who my mother is; she’s my best friend; she’s the original Fletcher; she’s amazing and it just didn’t fit.  I remember sitting at the kitchen table with her years later, and this came up and I said to her, “Why did you do that?”  She looked at me, like I was completely crazy and said, “That’s not what happened!  What happened was, I came home and once you told me I went to him and said, if you ever touch my daughter again, you’ll never, ever, see any of your grandchildren ever again!”  So, she stood up for me but in my memory it wasn’t like that at all.  What I’d actually remembered was my grandfather telling me that my mother would say I’d deserved it and that she wouldn’t believe me anyway.  He though by saying this I wouldn’t bother telling her what happened.  Of course, I told anyway, but my memory was a match to how powerless and unworthy I felt at that time.  When I was able to let that go, I was able to match up with a different memory which came in the form of my mother giving me a new perspective.  I still don’t remember it positively; In fact, I kind of don’t remember it at all now, because I was quite young (and because I shifted it).  I didn’t create a positive memory but I do know that the old memory was false and it wasn’t serving me.  Now, the whole thing could be a figment of my imagination, but that doesn’t really matter; what does matter is how it feels.

What your physical reality really means

Do you have to disregard all the people that you love?  Of course not!  They are in your reality for a reason because they are a match to who you are.  If there’s something in your reality that you don’t like, you can shift it.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to let people go; you can shift into a new vibration and get a new facet of them.

Does it mean that you have to walk around and say that a particular building doesn’t actually exist and that you should be able to put your hand through it?  If you want to practice that, that’s wonderful and it is totally possible, but if you don’t want to do that because it’s not your greatest joy or your greatest excitement, don’t worry about it.

You have manifested yourself into a physical reality for a reason.  You are not here to disregard this physical reality or to transcend it somehow.  You are here to be physical and have a physical experience and it makes it a lot easier to do that if you consider that things are real.  Of course, knowing the philosophy or the theory that we often don’t experience physically, (although sometimes we do), that things aren’t real, will help us to not take things too seriously.  It helps us by not getting too locked into situations and saying this is how it is. That is only one aspect of “how it is,” and if you don’t like how it is you can certainly shift to see a different aspect of it.

I hope this has explained and answered your question!  This is quite a deep and advanced topic, so if this video didn’t speak to you, don’t worry; I’ll be doing a lot more of the lighter stuff as well.  If you want to go deeper down the rabbit hole, then hopefully this answered a bunch of your questions.

That was my A to your Q.  If you like this content please consider sharing it with somebody who would find it valuable as well. And if you’d like to join the discussion, please do so, by leaving a comment below.

Huge happy shiny puppy hugs to all of you, and see you next time.

Bye!

{ 25 comments }

Kitnye July 24, 2015 at 00:05

Sometimes I get concepts like these and sometimes they don’t make sense. It’s like there’s this foggy part of my mind say “duh, of course it’s true” and a more larger part saying “this sounds pretty crazy to me”.

Cordy July 24, 2015 at 21:59

I get this thing, too. Right now I’m generally in “Yes, this is how it is” and then I get other flashes of “Wait, am I going crazy?!?”

Solace July 24, 2015 at 00:35

Beautiful post! Thanks Melody.

Peter July 24, 2015 at 01:07

interesting post Melody.

it reminds me of no dualists who say the ‘me’ we think we are is not real.
or the thoughts or emotions we have.

if u stamp on their toe though- they will still hop around in pain lol

CC July 24, 2015 at 03:07

Peter, pain and suffering are completely different beasts. Suffering requires a ‘me’. Pain will always appear when there is tissue damage. Pain is out biological inheritance.

If you did actually stomp on an enlightened person’s toe, suffering would be absent, even though the body would react and cry out.

Waaza July 24, 2015 at 12:09

Hey! Nice explanation CC! I am striving to understand that “delusional me” for a while. I am glad I read this comment. It helps me a lot. Do you know other materials that would help us understand about this topic? ;)

CC July 24, 2015 at 14:34

Hi Waaza,

There’s a lot of ways to approach an understanding of ‘no self’. I guess if you liked that explanation I gave, then you might like the works of Nisagardatta. Free download of his best selling book here: http://www.holybooks.com/i-am-that-nisargadatta-maharaj/

Let me know if that’s too technical, because other authors/teachers have very different ways of explaining the same topic, and these might suit you better.

The intellectual side of it all is hugely interesting to me, but of course it’s the practice which is the crucial element. cheers.

Sweetish July 24, 2015 at 01:30

I used to panic when I would think that this was all an illusion, it made me feel like I was alone and unimportant in the big scheme of things, I felt like a speck of sand on the beach, I felt my loved ones slipping away believing that if it’s all an illusion they must be too and that it was all a waste of time and then I figured out I could actually enjoy the ride and that there were in fact billions of other souls or diamonds around me all doing exactly what I’m doing. In fact I belonged to that “big diamond” and I was important. I was important just because I was here on earth with you. My job is to have great experiences and report them back to you all when we remerge again. Some of you are more ambitious than others and I’m grateful to you. I’ve decided to feel awesome despite it possibly being an illusion or hologram.

This post reminds me that life is all about how we feel so we may as well focus on the good stuff regardless if it’s real or not. Ever since I read Melody say that this is all happening to us for our best interest and it’s all awesome, my mindset has changed. Even if it’s all an illusion, I’m going to have the greatest time with it. I hope you choose to join me.

Bobbi July 24, 2015 at 01:34

This totally made sense to me! I love your “rabbit holes”.

I was just thinking of the facets of love. I’ve been a disciple of the LOA and ACIM for a few years and often I find I really don’t feel any more degree of love for one person than I do for the rest of the people I know.

This may have something to do with being a single person still hoping to live within a Holy Relationship one fine day very soon-but I’m not sure. I’m even able to look at my children with a more dispassionate, detached view.

Is this a topic you have already or could address in a future Dudette tutorial? BTW-my real name is Bobette. Sounded like a French poodle to me, so shortened it.

Summer July 24, 2015 at 01:38

I love these rabbit hole posts! :)
I’ve had times where I wondered if things and other people were real. I’ve freaked myself out a couple of times doing that. This explains it perfectly. :)
When my parents got divorced (I was 6), my mom and I stayed with my aunt for a while before we got a place of our own. I always thought we were there for at least 6 or 7 months. My mom and I were talking about this a few weeks ago and I asked her how long we actually stayed with my aunt. I said “It was at least 6 months right?” And she said “No! We were only there for about a month.” That was really weird. I could’ve swore we were there for a long time. So yeah, that opened my eyes and made me wonder what else I was “remembering” falsely. Interesting.
Summer invites you to read..How to Have a Constructive (Not Destructive) Anger ReleaseMy Profile

Just Call Me A. July 24, 2015 at 02:28

Love this stuff! I had the same question! Thank you!

Abigail July 24, 2015 at 04:12

Like woah. This is so interesting to think about! Sometimes when I find myself in total alignment with my “idiot vortex grin” plastered on my face, I will start to have brief flashes of different memories and landscapes that I can’t really be sure if they are real memories or not. I will have to listen to this video again after I meditate. Thank you for the insight, Melody and the great question, Awesome Dudette! I am so happy to have found this space to share with like-minded folks. We’re all in this together. :)

Wing July 24, 2015 at 06:03

Yay, finally, a rabbit hole post!! I’ve been waiting for a video post like this :) Thank you so much for answering questions like this one, Melody! You’re awesome! You break down a deep complex concept so clearly. I suddenly understand. I am everyone (and everything) and everyone is me; I am just living through me right at this moment, which is a small (but important and significant) part of the big diamond :) Happy shiny puppy hugs!!

SK July 24, 2015 at 11:54

Q. “Does Anything Actually Exist?”
A. Yeah something exists.

Q. How do you know?
A. well, even if there is absolutely nothing ‘outhere’ and I told you so, you will still be not happy. Because you expected something.

….. and by the way, you exist.

kelli July 24, 2015 at 16:40

Hey Melody
I loved this post so much. I like what you said about us only being able to hold onto that one perspective, and much of what is really happening is not something we could fully experience or understand because of that limitation. I think that is an important thing to remember because there can be that tendency to get really deep into that stuff, our brain can’t wrap itself around these ideas, and for many, this leads them to doubt something like law of attraction. I always suggest to people that are first studying it particularly, to just focus on applying the principles to improve your life, and worry about the more ‘rabbit hole’ like stuff later on.
kelli invites you to read..Podcast Episode #10: Law of Attraction: How Do I Know If My Stuff Is Coming?My Profile

Carla Hamilton July 24, 2015 at 17:01

Sooo glad you went down the rabbit hole. Topics such as these are what makes my heart sing.

Cordy July 24, 2015 at 22:07

More and more this has been something I’m thinking about. It’s funny to me, and mildly poignant, that it seems to be through understanding that this is all an illusion, none of it is “real” in the way we generally use the word, that we can finally get the things we want, because we will realize that it’s all just playing with energy, none of it matters in any significant way beyond expansion and joy, so then, ironically, the “stuff” might be kind of fun, but not really a big jolt at all.

Being super honest about my weird resistance here: I get flashes of jealousy for people who were born into circumstances that let them have a high vibration starting out, who get to have enjoyable lives without going all the way down the rabbithole – or at least people who didn’t have to go all the way down to shift things. I feel like I have to go all the way down! Which I guess is itself a belief that I could choose not to have, but it feels to me that maybe I chose, for this lifetime, to have challenging contrast that make it feel like it’s a “total freedom and empowerment or nothing” situation. Right now I’m realizing that I would honestly liked to have been in a situation where I just needed some minor LOA tweaks, and instead I feel that I’ve sort of manifested a personality where it’s either no movement or I will end up going Full Wizard? And I’m not sure if I want to go Full Wizard!

Also – does anyone else get the feeling where sometimes (someone mentions this above) you think “Yes, absolutely, I am part of the universal godforce or something I can’t put into words, all of this is an illusion, I can choose perfect happiness *right now*”, and then other times you think “But wait, that makes me sound like a crackpot”?

Does that feeling shift as you release more resistance and get into higher steady vibrations? Like, do you feel more comfortable just knowing that “nothing is real”?

SK July 25, 2015 at 04:49

@ Cordy
we manifest who we really are first and what we want second.

I used to focus only on what I want + what my family want) and I ended up frustrated and confused.
Recently I started to lean toward who we are more and found much more clarity.

- the world is made of Energy and emotion.
- Energy has always been there and always will be. No one can create or destroy energy (despite the movie industry trying to tell us otherwise). There is only shifting.
- there is no take or give of energy, there is only borrowing and returning. we temporarily borrow a bunch of energy/matter to make our body (slowly grow in the womb). We returns them to the universe after we die by decaying.
- there is no give or take of energy for energy doesn’t belong us. It’s the other way around.
- since we don’t make energy, we experience them when they are flowing. The more we let energy flows, the more we can feel it. For example, when I exercise (moderately), I move energy and gain some later.
- Emotion is energy too. As we don’t make emotions, we experience them when they flow. When I let my emotions flow freely, I feel more. This is way more productive than to hold back emotions.

as for vibrational set point, it’s similar to happiness set point.
it’s more of a from left to right spectrum than a bottom to top ladder.
a good place to be is a middle, neutral zone where we are emotionally calm and stable. From there, we can experience a range of emotions from one end of the spectrum to the other. All with the confident of able to return to a safe neutral zone.

It doesn’t matter much whether you were born happy or grumpy since we will experience them all. We also will be swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other regularly. From my personal experience, trying to cling firmly onto a happy moment and not letting it go often ends in tragedy. It hasn’t been productive.

The secret to feeling better (I’ve found) is about letting emotions flow first, pay more attention to happier moments second, and not holding on to unhappy moments third.

Abueng July 25, 2015 at 04:54

I love rabbity posts like this one.

After I read your post, I thought about some not-so-great situations in my past (that I hadn’t realized I was STILL letting define me to this day. Geeze!), and I was already able to get a slightly different perspective on some of them.

And even just thinking about what this means in general, I just feel lighter. Like I don’t have to “defend” my views and memories to others as much. It’s all valid and true.

Terry July 27, 2015 at 05:48

Hi,

I am back… So just what have you learn`t today ! Okay now, I mean right now.
Not yesterday, Not tomorrow, I mean right now ! Me I give in to myself right now.
Look into your dreams, the journey will be a challenge because your ego will camouflage
your resistances. Less sleep will a low you to break through your ego resistance. Be sure
to take naps in between. The most info. lies in your dreams which most humans will not
articulate on.

Terry July 27, 2015 at 06:07

Dear Melody,

Sorry for my irruption, I was in the moment. It just bubbled out.
Love your post, again awesome energy flowing…

Jay July 28, 2015 at 10:06

Interesting post, Melody! I’ve only been studying and pondering the LoA, consciousness, and the nature of reality for a few years now. Your post is interesting, in part, because I have a list of other metaphysical/consciousness/evolution type websites I go to, and it’s good to hear your say on the nature of reality.

I just had my first 2 ayahuasca experiences a little over a week ago and among other things, it helped open my consciousness up other perspectives and possibilities as well. Or rather perhaps, it was just mirroring them back to me…

And under the ego-diminishing effects of ayahuasca, it was easier to consider and think about other possibilities….in a way. It was frightening at times, as well. I was able to transcend my ego and get glimpses of other perspectives and possibilities, and realize that I am a creator of my reality and experiences.

Now, to what degree that is true and how my personal creations and attractions play into the collective whole of all of humanity’s consciousness and manifestation, I don’t know.

And I don’t wanna go any deeper with that right now! Too much info, lol!

j August 7, 2015 at 06:41

Great post
but your necklace keeps interfering with the mike

J

Melody Fletcher August 7, 2015 at 10:39

Yeah… sorry about that. I felt the content was too good to waste, and I wasn’t able to reshoot it (was in the middle of moving countries). But it won’t happen again. :)

Hugs!

Melody

Brandon October 15, 2015 at 00:33

I loved this. I used to be really big into non-duality teachings, like advaita vedanta. Some of it gets very nihilistic, like we should not desire anything, there is not even a real person to desire anything, and it is just all an illusion to be overcome. For a long time I thought that was true. But life became very stagnant. I wanted things even though I wouldn’t admit I wanted things.

I like this more balanced approach. I can get behind reality not being how we perceive it, but we can still come to have fun with it. :)
Brandon invites you to read..Magical LivingMy Profile

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