Using LOA to Empower Children

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by Melody Fletcher on July 17, 2015

 

Coaching Call #161 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: Why Did She Manifest The Experience Of Having A Stillborn Daughter?

This caller’s daughter was stillborn and she believes it happened because she wasn’t good enough to be this little girl’s Mom.  This is not the first time she’s felt that she’s not good enough. In fact, she’s felt this way most of her life, resulting in her not setting boundaries - especially with her own Mom with whom she has a difficult relationship.

Although this call is about the death of a child, it isn’t a dark call.  It’s a powerful call that explains why a stillborn can happen and shows we’re always good enough, no matter what.  It also explains how you can and should set boundaries with people and not feel guilty doing so.

If you have feelings of not being good enough, setting boundaries is difficult for you, or you’ve gone through a huge painful manifestation, this call is for you.

Read the full call summary here.

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Awesome Shannon’s Burning Question:

“Hi Melody, I am interested in your perspective on educating children. I want to know more about how we might teach children to feel empowered, if in fact this is a truly teachable skill. I am concerned about this from a social justice perspective, as in, I’d like to know how we might encourage this in economically and racially marginalized communities. I understand that we cannot force a child to recognize her power if she is not vibrationally ready/open to it.  But, with the vast numbers of students living in poor communities, what should we do in schools when we make ourselves available to the ones we can help?”

Here’s my answer:

 

Transcript

Well Shannon, education is actually one of my hot button issues.  It’s something I’m incredibly, incredibly passion about and I so appreciate the chance to talk about this.

You say in your question that you understand that you can’t force a child to raise their vibration if they aren’t open to it, but here’s the thing about kids.  Kids don’t have nearly as much resistance as adults do and they are much faster to respond to any kind of energy work or any kind of uplifting work that we do.  You are going to see a powerful shift in people much faster when you’re working with children than when you’re working with adults.

The shift that you have to make is within yourself, not in them.

Of course it’s a difficult thing to remember, but you cannot focus on them and look for a response in them so that you can feel better.  When you’re doing that you’re putting the burden of how you feel onto them which is what most people do – parents and educators alike.  We look at children and we think it’s our responsibility to somehow make them into good human beings, and we’re constantly looking for evidence that they’re becoming just that.  Actually, most of society is constantly looking for evidence that they’re not becoming that; especially with people in these sorts of social economic situations.

When you’re working with children or anybody in these kinds of situations, the first thing you want to do is check yourself and make sure you’re not making them responsible for how you feel, that you hold no judgement against them and you’re not looking for what they are doing wrong.  What you want to do is look for what they’re doing right.  You want to respect and honor them for the powerful creators that they are.  You want to look at their happy shiny bright souls, who they really are inside and not so much at the situation that they’re in.  You don’t want to pity these kids; you don’t want to look at them like they are disenfranchised.  They knew exactly what they were coming into and what they were doing when they were coming into these situations.  From a Soul perspective they knew what they were coming into when they were born.

Do not dishonor that choice by saying they’ve made a mistake or something has gone wrong.  That doesn’t mean that you can’t help when you’re inspired to but that’s because it’s fun for you to help and it’s also beneficial for them at the same time.  It’s like you’re playing a game together; it’s not because they really need your butt to intervene or because without you they won’t be ok.  They are still powerful creators.

Once you’ve checked your mindset and your attitude to see if you are judging them, ask yourself if you’re doing it because you think you have to or you’re doing it because you don’t think they will be alright without you or without your help.  You want to get rid of all of that and just play with them, be light with them, respect them, respect who they are.  Listen to them, let their own wisdom come through.  Assume that their own wisdom is there for them to listen to (because it totally is), and accept that the choices that they make, whilst listening to that wisdom, may not look at all like the choices you think that they should make.  Again, that’s a judgement, that’s control; you’ve got to stay away from that if you want to help kids, or if you want to help anyone, really.

That vibration that you are holding, seeing them in their power, seeing them as strong powerful creators, honoring and respecting their own guidance, that’s going to go a long way already and from that place you are going to be inspired to use certain words that will really hit home.

Let’s talk about a couple of specific things that you can do to inspire these children

The first one is: What you want to do is talk to them about what it is they can do, rather than what they can’t do.  What they’re doing well, rather than what they’re not doing well.  More often than not, you may be the only person in their life who is focusing on them that way because most people focus on children (particularly children in these socio-economic groups), and assume that these kids are screwing it up or are going to screw up.  They believe they have to step in and take control.  You may be the only person in their life right now that is willing to look at them and say, “How are you getting it right?”  That may not seem like a big difference to some people but it’s actually a huge difference.

This, by the way, is also a technique that works wonders if you’re in a business situation where you are managing staff.  If you start looking at what people are doing right, you are going to see more of it.  This is a way for you to line up your vibration with the best of them.  So again, it’s not about fixing them or inspiring them; it’s about you deciding what you want to match up with in your reality and changing your frequency accordingly.

The second thing that you can do with them is:  You can help them dream.  Again you don’t want to make that about control.  It doesn’t matter what they’re dreaming about, and it doesn’t even have to be anything realistic, as long as it evokes from them a real passionate, joyful feeling.  For example, when a little kid says they want to be an astronaut, you wouldn’t talk to them about how difficult it will be to become one.  Let them dream of being one or even becoming the President of the United States, or flying to the sun; it doesn’t matter.  Do not try to be too realistic about what their dreams can be, let them hook up with that joyful passion!  It’s so easy for children to do that, so let them inspire you with that joy and passion.  Encourage them to dream!  Once again, you may be one of the only people in their reality who is willing to play with them like that, so do all you can to encourage them.

Encourage them to follow their own guidance

Encourage them to listen to their gut. Honor them and say to them, “You know what to do, you know what you want.  What is it that you want, how do you feel about that?” Don’t tell them how they should feel or what they should think, or why that’s wrong (which is what most of society is going to do); encourage them to listen to their own guidance.

I love working with kids, for this very reason. They are so responsive if you shine a non-judgmental light on them, if you honor them, if you respect them, if you listen to them and encourage them to listen to their own guidance.  What you are doing there is validating their guidance because they’ve heard it already, but hardly anyone in their reality is going to validate it.  If you’re the person who does that for them, they will blossom in your presence.

Other teachers are going to look at you and ask, “How you are getting Johnny to behave so well in your class, because he’s a terror in their class!”  You can answer by saying, “That’s because in your class he’s pushing against everything that you’re doing  because of the way you look at him and in my class he’s not.”  You can get a completely different version of these kids, so don’t listen to any of the histories that other teachers want to tell you.  Don’t look at their home situation from a point of view of trying to explain why they’re so difficult to work with.  Sometimes it can be helpful to know the back story, but don’t hold onto that story, don’t judge them by that story and don’t hold them to that story.

Why children rebel

Let them be who they really are, knowing that whatever stories they are playing out are happening because other people are not doing that for them and they are wanting to rebel against that.  Those kids that are rebelling the most, they are the most determined to feel good.  Those are the most powerful ones amongst us.  Honor them as such and they will show you that side.  They may not show it to anyone else, but they will show it to you.

Thank you so much Awesome Shannon, this was a great question.  If you like this content please consider sharing it with somebody who would find it valuable as well. And if you want to join the discussion about education, something I’m so passionate about – I’m always willing to listen and read anything about education – please leave a comment below.

Huge happy shiny, educational, puppy hugs to all of you, and see you next time.

Bye!

{ 14 comments }

Rose July 17, 2015 at 16:08

Melody, THANK YOU! You are SO awesome with adults, whiny adults, adults with arrested development, terribly weird adults, whacked out adults, adults who think they are adults but are not, adults who want to play kid again etc. (not judging any adult, these are just my own adult versions I guess) anyway SO I cannot even IMAGINE how awesome you will be with kids. you would be the wonderfulest teacher ever. no doubt!! This was very insightful. Thank you!!!

faye July 17, 2015 at 16:27

Thank you so much for posting that. I am a seventh grade English teacher and unfortunately we teachers (and students) are held accountable for how they do on our statesstandardized test. This past year we set goals and they surpassed them. I always tried to focus on what they did right and how they had the power to ” beat the test”. I am wondering if this achievement had anything to do with me being their cheerleader and telling them that there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that they would stomp that test. I even took an old test and had the kids stomp it the day before. ( all 140 of them!). I am on summer break right now and this very week I was looking and looking for something like this on the web. It was
like I thought of it and like magic I received an email from you on this very topic. I want to make sure
mystudents next year are even MORE successful. ( the passing standard for next year has gone up sixpoints so in order for my students to pass next year they have a higher grade to make. ) The school Iteach at is in a lower socioeconomic area and many of students don’t have the best home lives either
orsome of their parents aren’t really involved in their academics. My question to you is….how would you recommend I get the new students even MORE successful. I do a lot of things to try to motivate my kidsbut i am always looking for new ideas. Would a class affirmation work? I don’t want to get into a whole conversation with them about the subconscious and the power of it? Its unfortunate that many students and teachers (/especially us) kind of attach our worth to these scores. I know I am a good teacher because I am not all about the test. There’s more to life like treating others kindly and having compassion and that your job can be fun if you love it. ( take the b off of JOB and replace with a y and you have JOY. Any tips?
Thanks, Faye

Sweetish July 20, 2015 at 03:25

It sounds like you have good intentions because you want the children the be “more” successful but then later you say that you dont attach yourself to these test scores but really you are. Are you possibly struggling between your beliefs and those teachers who attach themselves with these test scores? Just a gut feeling I picked up on.

Focus on having loads of fun, focus on the achievement you all (your students and you) have manifested so far!! You have all agreed on a positive outcome and fun along the way. Keep doing what you’ve been doing and see them as Melody as described, as powerful receivers, determined to achieve what they predetermined before they arrived on earth, experiencing epic awesome feelings, experiencing the best of them and be proud you are a wonderful teacher who they also manifested :)

faye August 4, 2015 at 20:42

Thank you sweetish for those words. I will definitely keep that in mind for next year. Maybe I needed to hear that from someone who doesn’t know or work with me! Thanks again!

Cammie July 19, 2015 at 04:20

This is exactly what I needed to read today! Thank you so much for your insight. I try to leave my judgement at the door but my ego keeps bringing it along…as though I need proof that I’m doing a good job as a parent. I’m going to print this out and put it up where I can read it each day.

Sweetish July 19, 2015 at 09:13

My daughter aged 11 is so set in her ways. She has always rebelled against social etiquette and the education system. She much prefer to learn about life through fun particular parodies. Life’s hilarious to her. What concerns me is will she later want to be a cool girl and have a limiting belief she is incapable of being popular? Will she blame me for not pushing her more at school?

Brian July 20, 2015 at 20:13

”Will she blame me for not pushing her more at school?”?

A better question would be: “Would their blaming me have anything to do with me?”
And the answer would be no. Whenever someone blames you, it is because they are out of alignment and using you as their reason to disconnect themselves to who-they-really-are. When someone blames another, it is simply a mirror reflection of the judgment they are giving themselves, being projected out onto another.?

Regardless if she does or does not blame you, you want to soothe yourself that you are doing the best you can, you are being the best parent you can be, and that at the end of the day, your daughter has her own personalized Guidance System from Source that will always give her the guidance that she desires and how she can be in alignment, just as you have your own Guidance System that is helping to guide you to soothe yourself, find relief, and be in alignment.

Sweetish July 21, 2015 at 04:45

Thank you Brian.

I have one more question regarding my daughters desire to consume massive amounts of food. As a result of her big appetite, and at only age 11 she has deep red stretchmarks and is larger than me but shorter than me. I wish my mother had intercepted and guided me with my food intake (but I dont blame her).

Do I sit back and allow her to eat until she decides she’s not happy being unfit and unhealthy? It’s so hard balancing seeing her healthy and happy and intervening.

Like Geraldine (below) I find it hard to know when to step in and when to allow them to guide themselves. Does she have enough knowledge at age 11 to decide if she wants those stretchmarks for life. At her earth age, she isn’t aware of the pain that comes with excessive weight and once those marks are there, they never go even with laser.

Thank you in advance.

Brian July 21, 2015 at 07:19

“I find it hard to know when to step in and when to allow them to guide themselves.”

Before you decide anything, get into alignment, first. That’s always the answer.
Stepping in when out of alignment will not give you the greatest clarity of how to help her in the most loving and beneficial way.

“… once those marks are there, they never go…”

That’s a belief. If she believes they cannot go away, then they won’t.
If she believes in the Well-Being of her body, then Well-Being will be what is dominant in her body. She gets to decide what story she wants to tell about her body. And, you can guide her to a better feeling, in alignment story, when you are in alignment, and think better feeling thoughts about your own body and loving yourself.

kelli July 19, 2015 at 11:59

Hi Melody
This was a great response to her question. It talked about the all-important point that can be hard to grasp LOA-wise when it comes to dealing with other people–it all starts with us and our energy first and foremost. It is really fascinating how we can influence the ‘higher vibing’ versions of people to shine through with our energy, yet we aren’t directly doing anything that makes anyone be a certain way. Fascinating stuff!
kelli invites you to read..Law of Attraction: When You are Feeling Really Disillusioned with the Whole ThingMy Profile

GERALDINE July 19, 2015 at 21:32

Awesome insight into LOA and children – thank you. I am still ‘learning’ LOA for myself and I am really interested in its application with children. I have a one year old and a three year old and I really struggle with understanding how to trust my children’s own guidance when it comes to things like teaching them good table manners / stopping them pushing and hitting other children / running near cars etc. Any advice on how to respect their own guidance while needing to bring them up as responsible citizens and keeping them safe would be greatly appreciated! Thanks

Sweetish July 20, 2015 at 03:13

I’ve asked some questions myself about raising my daughters.

I’m not an LOA expert by any means despite being a student for 9.5 years but let me tell you, you must be at a great place to find Melody so soon in your “learning” stage of LOA.

I think this article is more about letting their happiness guide them but we still need to keep them safe. We’ve been given certain rules of life like gravity and if a car hits us, we can be hurt. With LOA, we still have to be realistic (not in the pessimistic way but certainly in the laws of the universe kind of way). Teaching your kids about road safety is being a good mum. Focusing on when your children a joyful and commenting on that (using positive words when you notice your 3 year old not hitting other children) or smiling when you enjoy something you see in your one year old. They will also teach you so much and what we think is the way to live isn’t. The biggest learning curve you will experience is allowing your children to be the way they predetermined to be. I’m learning how to rethink what a child should be with my very determined 11 year old. She’s spiritually ambitious and bone idle in real life. Enjoy the trip. Motherhood is outstandingly fabulous and a wonderful learning experience.

GERALDINE July 24, 2015 at 20:06

Thanks Sweetish – great advice for LOA mothering and motherhood generally. The constant learning is fun! Good luck with your determined 11 year old!

Just Call Me A. July 28, 2015 at 19:25

Hooray! I take this as a sign we are heading in the right direction vibrationally, no matter what the freaking populace thinks: http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2015/07/27/george-washington-university-applicants-no-longer-need-to-take-admissions-tests/

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