Coaching Call #159 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: She Wants To Manifest A Marriage Proposal From Her Boyfriend.
This caller wants her boyfriend to propose so that she can start living her life. They are happy together but she believes if he proposes then she’ll experience more happiness. She loves the idea of sharing a home with him, and children one day, but NOT without the wedding day first.
Will being married make her any happier than she is right now? What if he never proposes; will she decide the great relationship she has with him is not for her anymore? Does she really have to wait to be married before she can start living her life?
This call is for you if you want to know what being committed to someone is really all about and you’ve put your life on hold while you wait for someone to pop the question.
Awesome Dani’s Burning Question is:
“Is it possible to not know what you want? Sometimes I feel like I know what I want and other times I just don’t. For example, sometimes I smile when I imagine being happily married and other times the idea of marriage makes me feel trapped. Sometimes I think I want the feeling of freedom but other times I feel like saying I “want to be free” isn’t specific enough or it’s not exactly what I want. Also I can’t decide if I want to go to University or just find a good job in my country. I don’t feel inspired to any action.
How do I know what I want or should I just focus on feeling good?”
Here’s my answer:
Well awesome Dani, you kind of answered your own question, in a general way. Yes, you should just focus on feeling good because that will start to line things up, but I’m guessing you’ve done quite a bit of that and now its brought up a few issues that need to be cleaned up. So, let’s talk our way through them for just a moment.
How to line up your energy and take inspired action
As you start to feel good, it’s easy to think, “I’m just going to feel good and then I’ll be inspired to action.” All us Law of Attraction teachers, we tend to be guilty of saying that, but that’s really the short version. The path is rarely ever that straight. Usually what happens is, we start to raise our vibration and then issues come about that need to be cleaned up. That’s going to happen before you’re ever inspired to any action. Action comes at the end of this progression not immediately. The first thing that happens is your emotions come up, and then thoughts, memories and ideas come in. Synchronicities follow that and finally physical manifestations come in, including action. You’re a bit farther away from action at this point, which is why you don’t actually feel inspired to do anything.
Feeling good and visualizing what you want
When you’re focusing on the idea of being married, go and do something that feels good, raise your vibration doing whatever makes you feel better. Whatever activities you want; go play with a puppy, go watch a funny movie or go for a walk in nature, for example. Get yourself feeling good and then point yourself in the direction of marriage, visualize being married. You’ll notice a lot of times it will feel really, really good when you feel like you’re happily married. But then something happens that brings in this feeling of being trapped. It might not happen every time but it happens; it comes up and it wants to be looked at. There’s some assumption or fear that you have about getting married that’s saying, “I’m going to be trapped.” For example, you might visualize yourself being married and when you give your mind and vibration free rein you’ll notice a situation that you don’t like when creating this visualization. This is what’s happening when you do that.
You might notice that your husband is kind of controlling or judgy. Maybe you love to dance for example and he doesn’t like to dance. So, you want to go dancing with your girlfriends, but he doesn’t really want you to because he doesn’t trust you, or he doesn’t think that’s right. That would make you feel trapped, so you then want to change that and say, “I’m going to visualize deliberately now and not give it free rein anymore. I’m going to deliberately visualize myself being with someone who has no problem with me going out with my girlfriends for a night of dancing. He has no problem with that because he trusts me. In fact he has he’s own life where he gets to do fun things with his buddies as well. We don’t have to be joined at the hip 24/7.”
Or you may also want to see him going out dancing with you because he loves to dance. You want to take that controlling feature out, that’s making you feel trapped. These are just examples; you have to figure out what’s coming up for you as you sit with that feeling of being trapped. Don’t just try to push it aside, let it come up and engage with it. It’s come up for a reason and it’s probably because of all the successful work you’ve been doing already.
As far as you going to University, or not, that’s not a decision you need to make and it’s certainly not a decision you need to make with pure logic. What you want to do again is: Go and get yourself into a higher vibration, approach all of this work by first getting yourself into a higher vibration, getting yourself into a better feeling space.
What do you really want?
Imagine going to University and see how that actually feels. Does it feel really good to you, does it feel exciting, does it feel like an adventure? Or does it feel like something you should do, or you have to do? Does it feel like something other people have told you, you have to do but you don’t really want to do? Is it something you’re trying to force yourself to do? The only way you’ll know that is by sitting with the idea of going to University, seeing what that feels like, and working through the emotions.
Do the same thing about getting a job and you might notice that the idea of getting a job feels way better than going to University because you’re not forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do. Or maybe it doesn’t feel really good because there’s still some ideas, some assumptions in there, that you’re not going to be able to get a good job or you’re going to have a crappy job. They’re not going to pay you very well, or it’s going to be too far away, or whatever.
That is something you can clean up with these visualization techniques where you then determine what you want, instead of the things you’re afraid of. You can get a good job, they can pay you well, and it is something that’s exciting, it is something creative and it’s something that makes your heart sing. In that case, what you’re doing is cleaning up a situation that you want to manifest but you have some fears about, instead of trying to clean up something that you’re forcing yourself to do but you don’t really want to do. There’s a huge difference between the two.
If you get stuck, whenever you’re in doubt, take a step back, go and do something that lets you feel really, really good, then more clarity will come. As you’re doing this work, as you’re feeling better and better, these issues will come up. You don’t want to try and make a decision and you certainly don’t want to take action at this stage. You want to feel your way through them because as you do it will become clear, pretty quickly, which option actually feels better.
What do you choose if both options feel good?
If you’ve cleaned up those options and you figure out that they both kind of feel the same, they both feel really clean, both really exciting and you don’t know which one feels better, then it doesn’t matter which one you choose. Just choose one, flip a coin if you have to, it doesn’t really matter. Then dedicate yourself fully to it, don’t second guess it, don’t doubt it, say to yourself, “This is the choice I’m going with, this is what I’m choosing and it doesn’t really matter because both feel the same.” There’s no way you can do that though, until you’ve sat with both options and felt your way through them and figured out what’s really going on.
That was my A to your Q. If you like this content please consider sharing it with somebody who would find it valuable as well. And if you want to join in the discussion on this topic, please leave a comment below.
Huge happy shiny puppy hugs to all of you, and see you next time.