Why Do People Have Traumatic Accidents?

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by Melody Fletcher on June 25, 2015

 

Coaching Call #158 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: He’s A Man In His 50′s Who Wants To Be A Musician.

He’s a man in his 50′s who’s always wanted to be a singer/songwriter, but instead of following this dream, he decided to have a safer, more practical career instead.  The desire and the talent he has for writing songs is with him all the time but he always finds a reason not to follow his heart.

Can we truly be happy if we decide not to take the path our heart wants us to follow?  Will we ever reach our full potential when we play it safe?  And who the hell said it’s not safe or practical to follow your dreams………..

This call is for you, if you’ve decided there’s only one way to live your life and that’s to live it to your full potential.

Read the full call summary here.

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 Awesome Dudette’s Burning Question is:

“Why did I align with the vibration of my 24yr old son having a horrific car accident, which has probably left him with life changing brain injuries?

I have been following your work for a few years now, so I know enough that his accident is part of his life’s journey, something that he matched up with.  So I’m not thinking that my vibration caused him to have this accident.  But there must still be something that I matched with, because I now have a very sick son and am facing a very different life to the one we were enjoying together.  Also, as he is still in a coma and we don’t yet know the extent of his brain damage, I feel like I have some influence over the outcome just by staying focused on my vibration and a positive outcome.  Can I really change his life?”

 

Here’s my answer:

 

Transcripts

Well awesome Dudette, I’m glad you asked this question, even though it’s a bit heavier, because there are a lot of people out there right now, who are struggling with similar situations.  I’m glad you haven’t moved into self blame, thinking that you somehow created this accident for him.

Why did this happen?

I want to talk about his part in the manifestation, for a moment, because this tends to get so greatly misunderstood.   This kind of dramatic event does not happen because he was thinking a few negative thoughts.  It didn’t happen because he wasn’t positive enough and then he had a big old car crash.  That’s not how that happens.  These kind of massive life changing events are a way to crack open a different path and gain access to a perspective that we otherwise would never have gained access to; particularly when they happen at a fairly young age.  What has happened here is that your Son is a very, very ambitious young man.  He’s a very ambitious Soul and he’s wanting to have a life experience that this event will allow him to have.

Now, having said that, you don’t even know what that’s going to look like.  So don’t descend into what Doctors might call, “Being realistic” where they name all the things that might go wrong with him, just so they can cover their butts and don’t get sued if they’ve left something off the list.  Ignore all of that and focus on him being ok.  You have no idea what the extent of his injuries are going to be or if he’s going to completely recover from them.  So why not tell yourself the story that feels really, really good, instead of telling yourself, “Oh God, I’ve got to get ready for this Son who’s never going to be alright again.”

This is also your manifestation, not in terms of you causing his accident, or any bullshit like that, but your experience of this situation, is your manifestation.   What has come up for you here is what your manifestation is.  And I’ve got to tell you, you and your Son are in this together.  You are also about to have your world cracked open and you’re being given access to a perspective that you otherwise would never have got access to.

Unfortunately we are still in the vibration of the globe and the vibration of the universe where often, it’s only through trauma that we’re able to make these big, gigantic changes in our lives.

A different perspective

Do not assume, that what’s about to happen is going to be horrible though.  Even if your Son ends up differently-abled, notice I’m not saying disabled; I’m saying differently-abled, because we tend to look at people who are differently-abled and think, “Your experience is worst than it would be, if you had all of your abilities.”   That’s so condescending, because we have to honor all experiences.  So if somebody is differently-abled from us, it doesn’t mean that their experience can be judged to be worse.  It’s their experience and they are having it for a reason.

As weird as this might sound, if you can start to look at this as an adventure – it’s not always going to be an easy adventure; sometimes it’s going to be a bit rough going.  Like I said, your Son is ambitious.  See it as an adventure that will, down the road, become clear how worth it, it is.  Then you’re going to be setting yourself up to get all the gifts that this can give you, without having such a bumpy ride along the way.  Of course, there are going to be really hard moments and there are going to be moments that absolutely suck.  And you don’t want to paint a happy picture on that or try to put a smile on it, even just to uplift him.   You want to be honest with yourself about how you feel.  So, if you need to cry – cry, if you need to be angry – be angry.  Let it all out.  What’s going to come out here is a massive amount of resistance.  A lot of it is going to be about control issues.  There’s nothing you can do to make this go away.  You couldn’t have stopped it.  That’s going to make you feel really powerless and that powerlessness is going to what to come up.  You are going to have an opportunity here to let that out.  This can be seen as a horrific event that lets you steep into powerlessness for years or it can be seen as an opportunity.

What I’m feeling from you and from what you said in your question, you’re really close to already realizing that.  I’m really proud of you for getting there, my happy shiny puppy, who isn’t that happy shiny at the moment, but you’ll get there again.

What can you do for your Son? 

Can you affect his experience?  Can you change his life?  Well, yes and no.  You can’t manifest in his experience but you can manifest in your own.  That means you can manifest a version of him that looks quite different.  That might sound like I’m saying the same thing; that you can control the other person, but here’s the big difference in that.  If you’re trying to manifest in his experience, you’re focused on him and you need him to get better, or you need him to feel a certain way, so that you can feel good.  If you focus on your own experience, now you’re going to focus on your own emotion, you’re going to work with your own emotion and you’re going to take care of yourself.   You are going to do what feels good to you, without putting the burden of responsibility on him to feel better or to get better.  So, let it be ok, whatever his experience is.  You have no idea what it’s going to look like.  Go ahead and focus on it being good, not to make that happen but because it feels a lot better for you to do so.  And then, let it unfold, perfectly as it will.  Look for the gifts in every experience, they will be there, if you look for them.  They can be found.

The parts of this journey that are going to be difficult

You may want to make yourself responsible for being his rock, to always keep uplifting him, but you need to take care of yourself first and foremost.  That means you can’t always be trying to cheer him up, let him also sit with his anger and let him sit with the frustration.   Whatever comes up for him, you’re going to want him to work through that as well.  This means, you need to make peace with his discomfort, you need to be comfortable with his discomfort.  This doesn’t mean you need to be happy about his discomfort but you want to become so stable that even in his discomfort you see who he really is.  You see this powerful, ambitious creator, who has come here and partnered with you to crack open an experience that you would never otherwise have been able to have.  You have no idea where this is leading but trust me if you’re on my blog, it’s probably going to lead to something world changing!

That was my A to your Q.  If you like this content please consider sharing it with somebody who would find it valuable as well. And if you have any questions, light or heavy, join the discussion by leaving a comment below.

Huge happy shiny puppy hugs to all of you, and see you next time.

Bye!

 

{ 16 comments }

kelli June 25, 2015 at 14:18

Hey Melody
Wow…amazing post. I think this is so helpful because it deals with the thorny issues that we just can’t seem to understand from an LOA perspective. That is a really good point about these types of experiences opening us up to a perspective that we couldn’t possibly achieve otherwise. I also liked what you said about acknowledging the shitty aspects that will likely come. I think people can get upset when they are told about the gifts, lessons,etc…because they take that to mean they should somehow be ‘happy’ this happened and not have a negative reaction. I imagine this woman was so helped by this response.
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Debbie June 25, 2015 at 14:53

Amazing post Melody and just what I needed to read and understand right now. I am sitting by my mums bedside right now while she manifests a critical illness that may be leading to her transition.

The past week has seen emotions come up for me on a scale I never knew existed. To reframe this in my mind as an amazing adventure for the two of us Into depths of emotion makes sense in a crazy way and I’m going to work on this.

The future is very uncertain, but I’m sure I can learn a lot from it. And I can see that the dear lovely lady who has been mum in this life is going to teach me the last of her lessons then dance off to the next version of realty
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Jenn June 25, 2015 at 14:55

This really hit home. I feel very similar to this person as my partner and I are going through our toughest time in our lives. He’s a veteran with PTSD and I’m trying to remain positive while trying to not blame myself for this. Thank you for posting this.

Just Call Me A. June 25, 2015 at 16:19

Love these videos!

Joe June 25, 2015 at 17:37

I sympathize with you I lost a son to over dose 05/05/2015 he was one of the most loving a caring person. who help all others with out a care to himself so can not see how he manifested this in he life

Cordy June 25, 2015 at 20:32

“These kind of massive life changing events are a way to crack open a different path and gain access to a perspective that we otherwise would never have gained access to; particularly when they happen at a fairly young age. What has happened here is that your Son is a very, very ambitious young man. He’s a very ambitious Soul and he’s wanting to have a life experience that this event will allow him to have.”

YES. I’d like to share (in case it’s helpful to anyone) that I had a near-death experience at a youngish age, and now that 5-6 years have passed, I am really thankful that it happened. I mean, it’s hard for me to find the right words, because if I had it to do over again, it’s hard to know if I would have the strength to choose that again (it was very difficult with a long, difficult aftermath) but having experienced it made me reach a point in my life where I was basically like “Total freedom or death, no other choices are acceptable”… and I don’t think I would have gotten there without that event. So if I could magically erase that event from my life, I wouldn’t. Where I am now is hard in some ways (because I am still hanging on to various old beliefs that don’t work for me now) but in many ways I have found little pieces of freedom that I couldn’t even see or imagine before the almost-dying.

Melody, I appreciate the reminders that other people are powerful creators who don’t need our “help”. I’ve been experimenting with telling my spouse and child “I know you will figure it out”, and I’ve noticed that when I REALLY believe that, it feels good to them to hear it – but I am also working on getting to a place where I don’t care that much how even people as close to me as my husband and child feel about things, because it’s just not my business, and it doesn’t help them, but it makes me feel crappy, and nothing – NOTHING – is worth me feeling crappy by choice.

Summer June 25, 2015 at 20:33

I am not going through anything like this right now, but I have been going through some crazy emotions this week. I’ve been triggered left and right lately……but I’m also moving in a direction of what I TRULY want (now that I finally know), so I know exactly what is going on. If I hadn’t been triggered in these ways, I never would have come to the conclusions I did or had the experiences that I did. I’ve finally figured out how to just go with the flow and trust the process. No matter how ugly an event may seem there is always something to learn from it. Thank you for posting this Melody and hugs to Awesome Dudette.
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Sugar Baby June 26, 2015 at 01:41

@Awesome Dudette I was in the same boat as you except my daughter was 3 years old. My husband (who was born knowing about LOA) focused on her being well. He wouldn’t allow any of my pessimism to interrupt that thought (this was before I learned about LOA – it was this accident that introduced me to the Secret). I’m not sure if it was my daughters manifestation to get better or whether it was our manifestation that the episode would be an eye opener about releasing resistance (me more so). I’m happy to report that despite what the Dr’s told us, she’s well.

However, your sons manifestation may not be that of my daughters. Your son may have experienced exactly as he wanted to and this could be the experience he predetermined before arriving here as well as his will after he arrived here. This may be a lot harder on you than it is on him should the outcome not be “good” according to society’s rules about what’s good or bad. Society doesn’t decide if things are good or bad, you do. No matter what the outcome the Dr’s tell you there are many ways to handle this.

1. Like our illustrious Melody has said, look at the situation as an adventure.
2. After you’ve gotten angry, visualize your son the way you want to see him even if that means you may feel negative should the “experts” tell you otherwise.
3. Everything is changeable if that’s what your son wants. Miracles have happened many many times, even Dr’s believe in a higher being /source /energy/vibrations whatever. If your son is that ambitious to create this accident, he is also that ambitious to create other outcomes too (outcomes many of us consider amazing, miraculous if that’s what you both want)
4. Don’t view this a good or bad. It just is. Despite having good thoughts about the entire accident, allow the dust to settle where it may. Allow him to live the life he has asked for without pity
5. Write a letter to the universe and ask that the future be happy (Melody has an article on it – use the search box). How happy looks is all in our minds. Hand over your fears to the Big U. You’ll be amazed.
6. Everything is always working out for our best interests. When we expire and cross over, this may all make a lot more sense to us. This is just a journey. It’s just a video game and your on a level that’s tough but you’ll pass it. You’ll acclimate and everything will be well (even if it’s considered not so good by society).
7. You may very likely get a CT scan that shows no abnormalities. Yes it’s also very possible.

@ Joe, I’m sorry about the loss of your son. There is an article on death and being the fastest way of getting past resistance. Society tells us death is bad, but it’s not, it’s what he wanted. He may likely be in an amazing place right now. He may have reconnected to our group consciousness and I suspect that feels like the best lucid dream a human could possibly fathom. I think it’s like enlightenment and it feels like the best drugs one could get their hands on (maybe that’s why people take drugs, to feel that feelings again). I believe it’s you who needs to be looked after. I’m confident that your son is in a good place. I think you need to love you and allow yourself to grieve but know that all is well. He is well and slowly day by day allow yourself to be well. He may have asked I write this message to you. I’m not a clairvoyant by any means but I never respond to such deep questions. I’m not normally this natural about them but on this occasion I’m confident that you were supposed to here this. Crying helps release a lot of resistance.

Val June 26, 2015 at 09:28

In 2013 my husband was in intensive care in a coma for 9 weeks. The doctors told me he was not going to live, he had a one in a million chance of surviving and even if that happened he would need a double lung transplant and they had no idea if he would have brain damage due to oxygen deprivation. He already had had problems before this happened because the year before he had two operations for a brain tumour and a huge amount of radiotherapy and chemotherapy. I would not accept that he had gone through everything he went through to survive the tumour just to be taken by yet another illness.

I would not listen to the doctors and everyday I would sit in the hospital and hold his hand for twenty minutes I would visualise a healing light descending into his body, moving through his body and healing him.

I contacted all of my friends and asked them to pray or send energy at a set time and day. Between them they passed this on and literally hundreds of people took part at the exact same time.

He came out of the coma but was paralised from the neck down and had to stay on life support. Every day I continued with the healing light and when he was able to understand he started to visualise with me.

Now, eighteen months later he is recovered. No lung transplant. He was even able to leave the hospital after eight months without needing oxygen support. He has some minor issues with short term memory and needs an inhaler to help his lungs but he leads a normal life.

Do not give up. Do not listen to doctors. They took wonderful care of my husband but there are things in this world beyond medicine and ‘rational’ thought.

Dominique June 26, 2015 at 09:32

Extremely powerful response Melody – perfectly articulated. The term you used – “crack open” – perfectly describes the massive energy shift into a new perspective; so unbelievably painful at the time but, with hindsight, so necessary for our soul growth. It makes sense of the role that all major traumas play – psychological, spiritual and physical.

Sally June 26, 2015 at 12:17

In 2006 my 28 year old son graduated from medical school, started his work at Mt. Sinai in New York City, and died of a cocaine overdose. As I have started looking at life from LOA principles and related spiritual thought, I contemplate what happened there. Did he mess up his journey that included recovery from addiction? Did he sign up to die for all of us who chose this life experience? I’ve survived it. Did I get what I sought for in this life? My own alcoholism and drug addiction is controlled; I am sober. My mom is sober. Anyway. Dudette’s question for her son in a coma gave me new questions. Good topic. Life is certainly not containable in a box of understanding all the time.

Sally June 26, 2015 at 12:30

Joe, I just saw your post. May I offer you my deepest sympathy and empathy. The best thing anyone said to me at the time was that there was no right or wrong way to deal with this, and that when the grief energy came, to let it flow out. Meaning grieve. Cry, sob, let it flow. I felt like it would kill me when I was in the throes of it. But it let pressure out. I often felt guilt or anger that I could get up and live the next hour after I sobbed. But actively allowing the energy to move through me was probably the biggest stepping stone for my ability to keep living after his death. I grieve with you right NOW. sally
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anonymous June 28, 2015 at 19:15

How can I manifest a quick and easy death? I have huge desire for certain things, but I realize that I’m not going to release the limiting beliefs while I’m still in this body. I can see that this is why the things I want most are not coming to me. I don’t think it’s worth trying to ease the resistance anymore or change the beliefs. Honestly I just want to go back to nonphysical. I don’t want to be in this body that I hate anymore.

Charles Leahy July 1, 2015 at 08:19

Another great video, another great Melody! Agree with Sally, I guess there is not a right way or wrong way to grieve, just let it all out and time and support will be the cure!

Rebecca Bardess July 29, 2015 at 13:47

Angel, I’ve been there. The doctors said I wouldn’t recover, or ever speak again, etc. I didn’t buy into that myself. I had a huge car accident aged 11, and damaged all my language areas. I was so badly affected that I wasn’t even given speech therapy. I decided not to listen to the limiting thoughts of adults, and instead I taught myself.

To cut a long story short, I now have an IQ in the top 2%, am a bestselling author, and internationally acclaimed magazine columnist and coach. It was NOT EASY to get to this point. I’m 42 now. It took years to get here. However, I got here. I feel the accident was a blessing. My brain works differently to other people’s brains. My right brain plays better with my left brain than is the case with most people, because I used it to do many of the things my left brain should have done. This helps me to help my clients to access their non-dominant thinking patterns. I LOVE this work. When I work with an accountant, or someone from the military, who’s so tied into left brain thinking that they live in a tiny world of logic, and I finally help them unlock their right brain, they see colours fully for the first time. They hear music fully for the first time. They feel inspiration fully for the first time. I love it.

Listen, I’ve no idea what the path will be for your little one. However, I’ve helped multiple coma survivors – and helped multiple people while they were in comas – and the very act of going through a coma brings with it a new set of perceptions. Comas hide time from you. You go into a different space. Many of the coma survivors I’ve spoken to agree that they accessed universal energy and wisdom while in that space in a way that doesn’t make sense to those who’ve never experienced it. Be aware, by the way, that people in comas are aware of you being there and of your touch. They may be aware of it in a different way than conscious people, but they are aware. For me, I was aware of the absence of things, for instance, so while I didn’t know someone was holding my hand, I knew when they let go. Over time, I was aware they were holding my hand. Stick with it. x

Those of us who’ve had communication issues – woken from a coma unable to communicate – have experienced the horror of the disconnect between what our ‘self’ wishes to express and what our body will allow. We’ve all had that experience of feeling truly exceptional emotions and wisdom, and opening our mouths to hear utter nonsense. People around us have looked on us with pity and the decision that we were not intelligent, but we were. We had huge wisdom. We just couldn’t communicate it. I’m fortunate that I was able to build a communication bridge again so that ‘normal’ people can hear the experience from me. There are many who don’t do that. If your little one struggles to build that bridge, never assume a lack of wisdom from him. If he struggles with your language… learn to speak his. You can build the bridge. x
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Melody Fletcher July 29, 2015 at 15:58

This is beautiful Rebecca. Thanks so much for sharing your story and insight. :)

Huge hugs for you,

Melody

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