Should I Fight Back or Let It Go?

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by Melody Fletcher on April 18, 2015

 

Coaching Call #148 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: She Wants to Be the Master in her Field.

This caller didn’t start playing chess until she was an adult and has been told she’s too old to make it big. She’s studied really hard to be the best she can be, but she’s gone from being a good chess player to losing most of her games.

Why hasn’t all the studying paid off for her?  What resistance does she have that’s taken her from being a good player to someone who no longer wins or enjoys the game and how can she overcome it?

This call is for you if you’ve learned all the skills you need to achieve something, and are ready to step up in a big way, but nothing you’re doing is bringing you the success you desire.

Read the full call summary here.

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Awesome Alex’s Burning Question: “I’m wondering how to deal with a situation in which we feel like we’ve been screwed over, or fucked, and not in the good sexual way!

Recently, I feel like I got screwed over for a lot of money, and that if certain people had made me aware of certain details that they really should have made me aware of, this could have been avoided. Am I angry? Yes. I want to take revenge! I want justification! But at the same time, that feels like a lot of work. I know that I can just let myself be angry for now, but I don’t really yet see a way that this can work out for the best. It almost seems like “one of those things in life that sucks that ya just gotta deal with”, but of course Fuck that way of seeing it…

Anyway, this has happened to two close friends of mine recently as well, so it’s been a manifestation I have seen not just in my own life, but around me. One of those friends is really into LOA, and so this has been something we’ve been trying to figure out.

There’s the one approach of “Fuck this! I’m going to get what’s mine at all costs! I’m going to sue their ass and blah blah blah!”

Then there’s the other approach of “Well, I guess I’ll just let it go and move on. It’s all meant to be, it will come back to me in some way”

The first approach feels like too much work, and a pain in the ass. The second approach feels unrealistic, and not really something I’m ready to believe.

Anyway, I’d really love to hear your approach on how to handle feeling “screwed over” from an LOA perspective. I don’t want to go through all the hard labor of bringing about justice, but I don’t want to just let it go either.”

Dear Awesome Alex,

Thank you for this most excellent of questions. This actually goes right to the heart of what this Law of Attraction “work” is all about. So many people in our society today feel like they’re being screwed over in some way. The government is cheating us. Our bosses pay us too little. We can’t trust our romantic partners to not hurt us by leaving or dying or doing something we don’t like, which we know they know we don’t like. And we’ve come up with a variety of ways to deal with this feeling. We can sue their butts off. We can protest. We can put a brick through a window. Or, we can just walk away and try to let it go. But what if fighting the good fight doesn’t feel good, and walking away doesn’t either? Is there another way? Of course there is. There always is.

Why no one can actually screw you over

Yeah, I know that no one wants to hear this, especially when they’ve just had an experience that feels, well, screwy. Someone has just done something to you, and every fiber of your being is screaming “They were WRONG to do that!” But, when seen through the eyes of empowerment, the premise that we are all in charge of our own realities, that just doesn’t hold water.

You see, when we are talking about “your” reality, we really are referring to YOUR reality. Yours and yours alone. Everything that happens to you, every manifestation (and it’s all a manifestation) is merely a reflection, a mirror, of your vibration. You’re in the center of the hologram, and you are projecting that hologram. No one else can influence that picture. It’s all you.

Now, there are a lot of people in this world who read that paragraph and hear “it’s all your own damn fault.” But that’s not what I’m saying at all. In order for it to be your fault, you would first have to know that you have this vibration of powerlessness (which is what being screwed over feels like), and then willingly keep on manifesting from that perspective. Yet, no one ever does that. Why the hell would they? The fact is that until you have the experience, the manifestation, that shows you that you have this vibration going on, you have no way of knowing that it’s there. But once you do, you can do something about it.

So, no one can actually manifest in your reality, and no one can really screw you over. All they can do is to mirror back the belief that you can be screwed over, and what better way to do that than to make you their screwee?

Why did you manifest being screwed?

The question then becomes, how and why did you attract such an experience into your reality? Why does anyone?

Well, it’s not because we all enjoy the feeling of giving away all of our power. But that is, essentially, what we are doing. And then we blame the other person or party for making us feel that way. Only, here’s the thing: That feeling was already there to begin with. This manifestation, like all manifestations, only served to highlight, to amplify this feeling.

Clearly, this is an issue that is coming up for you in a big way, since you’re not only seeing it in your own experience, but to a lesser degree, in the experience of others (a milder manifestation. It’s always milder when it’s happening to someone else, but this is no less of a manifestation than when it happens directly to you).

How does being screwed over feel? How does it feel to believe that someone else has power over you, can take something away from you, can block your success in some way? Of course, at its core, it feels powerless. But you can’t do much with that. Oh sure, you can chant “I’m powerful! I’m powerful! I’m powerful!”, but that generally doesn’t help.

Fighting back vs. Letting it go

Of course, most people will agree that when someone has wronged you, it’s well within your rights to fight back. But what will that solve? Keeping in mind what you really want, will stomping the other person into the ground bring it about? Will punishing someone else actually make you feel better (in the long run…)? Sure, it can bring temporary satisfaction (stomping on someone else feels more powerful than getting stomped on), but it won’t get you what you truly want.

Of course, simply letting it go, just ignoring how hurt you feel and pretending that it’s all ok feels awful too. It feels like being a doormat, and no, that’s not enlightened. It’s actually much more enlightened to throw a tantrum and scream your head off in an anger release, than to try and be all Zen about it when what you really want to do is to rip someone’s head off. So, obviously, just letting it go isn’t the answer, either.

Unless, of course, you’re talking about truly letting it go. When you truly let something go, you find a perspective that actually feels better, not just one that sounds more enlightened. You can’t just pretend. But, how do you find that better feeling perspective?

The underlying belief structure

The idea that others have power over us is a belief in and of itself. But there are others that play into this experience of being screwed over. Here are two of the biggies:

You are right and they are wrong. Of course you are right. You are always right. But that doesn’t mean that they are wrong. They were not wrong to do what they did. They had their reasons, and from their own perspective, what they did was right in line with their own beliefs – their own fears. The only reason someone ever takes something away from someone else, or aggresses against someone else, is because they think they have to. They are acting and reacting defensively. They believe they are in danger, in some way, and they’re going to get you before you can get them. Aggression always comes from a place of fear.

Understanding the other person’s point of view, seeing their fear and vulnerability at play, can go a long way towards helping you find a better feeling perspective. If nothing else, it will take the edge off of your resentment. When we think of others as simply “evil” or “bad”, we assume that their motives were to consciously screw us over, just for the fun of it. But that’s never the case. The only reason that anyone does anything is because they’re trying, often desperately, to feel better. And often, people only aggress against others because they believe that others will come after them if they don’t. They’re coming from a place of powerlessness, too.

Dehumanizing others by seeing them as different from ourselves, as acting from a nefarious place, can lead to terrifying consequences. We have no problem going to war with and eradicating a nation of people we see as evil. When we assume that their main motivation is hurt us, it puts us in a defensive place. Understanding the other side and having compassion for their point of view, which doesn’t mean that we have to agree with it, opens us up to the possibility of different perspectives – better feeling ones.

You can’t get what you want. We’ve been taught that life is hard and that we can’t always get what we want. When we do get what we want, it’s only ever because someone else gave it to us, because they were kind, or more often, because we got them to give it to us in some way. We pay for it, suffer for it, trade for it or manipulate them into giving it to us. And, of course, if others are in charge of giving us what we want, then they must also have the power to take it away.

Remembering, however, that it’s not up to them, EVER, to provide us with our manifestations, that as long as we are a vibrational match to what we want, it will come to us (through them or someone else), will allow us to also realize that it’s not up to them to take it away. You cannot make other people responsible for bringing you your manifestations, and you can’t make them responsible for blocking said manifestations, either. They really aren’t part of this process, at all. It always comes down to you and your energy. I know… it seems unfair sometimes (“Why is it always up to me, goddammit?”), but honestly, when you truly embody this point of view, there’s no limit to what you can attract.

Of course you can get what you want. You can’t even want something that you can’t get. If you’re a match to a desire (and if you’re not, you can’t have that desire, because even a desire is a manifestation), then you must also have the ability to become a match to its physical representation. You can achieve anything that you want to achieve. But, you have to first believe in at least the possibility that you can. Inserting other people into the equation as a sort of middleman only serves to slow things down.

What is it that you actually want?

Take out the middleman, disregard the other person, and ask yourself what it is that you actually want. How is it that you want to feel? Now, at this point, you may be thinking “What I want is revenge. What I want is for this other person to admit that they wronged me. What I want is for them to be publicly judged as wrong. What I want is to be vindicated.” Fair enough. But you can do better than that. These thoughts still involve the other person.

When we want revenge, we’re coming from the perspective that we can’t get what we want (because this bastard won’t give it to us), which feels awful. So, if we can’t realize our desires, then we can at least get some satisfaction by punishing those who are getting in the way. What the desire for revenge doesn’t take into consideration, however, is that we CAN get what we want. We just can’t get it the way we’re currently going about it.

Think of the thing you were screwed out of, in your case, money.

  • What did you want the money for?
  • What do you now think you can’t have?
  • How would having this thing make you feel?
  • What if you could still have it?
  • What if it simply came in another way and this person, this screwer, was totally irrelevant to your manifestation of this desire?

Identify what it is that you truly want and how that feels and then simply imagine yourself having it, with no middlemen and no strings attached. Remind yourself that there are no prerequisites – NOTHING needs to happen before you can get what you want. No one needs to do anything to make it come about (including you). All of your immense power lies in your ability to attune yourself to the frequency (i.e. feeling) of what you want, with no interference.

Bottom line

When you make other people responsible for a manifestation that you’re not currently aligned with (and making them responsible will take you right out of alignment), they cannot give it to you. Of course they can’t. They can’t defy your vibration. And then, when they seemingly stand in the way of your manifestation, you want to blame them. But it’s not their fault (it’s not yours, either). All they were doing is mirroring back your vibration to you. When you attune yourself to what you want and take out the middleman, so to speak, you become a match to your vibration. And then no one can take it away from you. No one can screw you over.

You don’t have to fight anyone, and you don’t have to be a doormat. Let go of the HOW (how your manifestation has to come about) and focus exclusively on the WHAT (what you actually want). This is what “letting go” actually means, and it doesn’t feel doormatty at all. It feels glorious. Can I get an Amen?

{ 46 comments }

Sonja April 18, 2015 at 23:36

Yes you can – AMEN sistah! :D

Solace April 18, 2015 at 23:43

Amen!!!!?

Jennifer April 18, 2015 at 23:48

Very well stated! Thank you for this, Melody!
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Josh Holmes April 18, 2015 at 23:52

OMG Melody. I cannot believe how much this had helped me as I am actually going through a similar thing in my workplace (except mine is more about lack of respect than money by certain individuals). However what you have said has resonated with me soooo much yet again. When the pupil is ready the teacher appears. Amen!!!!

Jasmine April 19, 2015 at 00:07

Holy fucking shit, Melody! This article spoke to me. Very clear. You’re amazing, you know that? Like, I felt like I just went in this rabbit hole. Omfg. You’re. AWESOME!

Bryan April 19, 2015 at 00:27

AMEN!!

That was freakin awesome. I must say the clarity of your responses to questions like this is amazing and really resonates with me. Thank you so much!

kelli April 19, 2015 at 01:55

Hey Melody
This was a great post. You are so right that the emotions can run high, and we are fuming someone did something wrong to us. Adopting the more loa-friendly mode of operation can be a bit of a gradual process, but as soon as we are willing to look at the situation from that perspective, we can begin creating the energy of what we want.

Your point about really thinking about what it is you truly want at the core can be really helpful in aligning our energy and getting over the ‘revenge’ and wanting to fight, especially if that actually doesn’t feel good.

And I also really liked your point about adopting a perspective that actually make you feel better..I think that is what can trip people up. They take that to mean trying to feel better about the situation and feel better about things that just suck, and that can be hard. But, shifting our view to a different one can actually make us feel better, even if we don’t think that is possible now. It can take a bit to play around with the perspective, but it can certainly be achieved.
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Laura April 19, 2015 at 02:59

Wow! This is exactly what u needed.
Thank you,

Michael April 19, 2015 at 10:21

It is interesting, I left a job last month and the person I wanted to be with and was wanting to do things I can’t type on here. I decided no revenge. Guess what? Well, not so good things are happening to people and the organisation. I am smug about it. I did not lift a finger to cause it, I let them do it to themselves and I’m sorry but I can’t help feeling there is some justice in it. But, I choose to focus on my new path, sure I miss the person I loved, but I caused the new path to happen so I am fighting back and letting to. It’s great.

kama April 19, 2015 at 11:53

‘what if it simply came in another way’ with ‘no middlemen, and no strings’
Amen.
Thank you for this insight today :-)

Melanie April 19, 2015 at 16:01

Great post! I got dumped last week after a long-term very committed relationship, and for the first two days I was a grieving, angry, victim-y mess. I felt like he got one over on me, that he humiliated me and hurt me and there was nothing I could do about it…but there ARE things I can do about it. Once the tears dried I thought, “OK, I manifested this so what can I learn from it?” The relationship had its problems, so honestly I didn’t want it to continue in its current state anyway; it was somewhat of a relief.

Once I let the hatred and humiliation and helplessness go I felt pretty damn good. It still kind of sucks and I’m sad, but it was obviously blocking some kind of other awesome manifestation that’s on its way. Now’s my chance to really love me, take care of myself, and manifest greatness in full force.
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Patricia April 19, 2015 at 23:08

Hey Melanie! This is an awesome comment! Way! To! Shift! Thank you for sharing your perspective on this here. About three months ago I was “dumped” by someone I’d been friends with for more than 25 years and very close for the last 7 years. It came from out of the blue (from my perspective) and culminated with a hand-written letter from her ripping me apart (her perspective, of course). This from someone I “trusted” and thought of as a sister (I’m an only child). I’m no longer grieving this relationship (yay that!), but it was incredibly hard and painful at first. The “loss” though was actually a huge GAIN for me because it inspired (so to speak! lol) me to examine how I really felt about the dynamic in our friendship (not good!) and to wake up to how I had been giving my power away by making someone else (at least in part) responsible for my happiness. So huge resonance here :)

Melanie April 20, 2015 at 03:36

Thanks for sharing your story, Patricia, and kudos to you for letting it help you grow instead of getting you down. I am still in the grieving process and love him very much, but what’s refreshing is that I am not wracked with self-hatred and self-blame over what happened. (Okay I felt that for like two hours last Sunday but that’s it) I’ve never experienced that before. In the past it took me much longer to get back up on my feet for much less significant relationships because I kept myself in a self-loathing victim state for a long time. This is my most significant relationship and I’m a little weirded out by how quickly I bounced back for the most part…thanks LOA!
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David May 1, 2015 at 16:31

Hi Melanie,
Your comment REALLY spoke to my sad-ass as I am also in a dumped sad state. I loved what you said:
“OK, I manifested this so what can I learn from it?” The relationship had its problems, so honestly I didn’t want it to continue in its current state anyway; it was somewhat of a relief.

Once I let the hatred and humiliation and helplessness go I felt pretty damn good. It still kind of sucks and I’m sad, but it was obviously blocking some kind of other awesome manifestation that’s on its way. Now’s my chance to really love me, take care of myself, and manifest greatness in full force.
THANKS for improving my VIBE!!
David

rashid April 19, 2015 at 17:54

Amen !! very nice melody

Sadeea April 19, 2015 at 17:57

Another wonderful post!! Thank You Melody!

Terry April 19, 2015 at 17:59

This is what we are pulling in because we need to do
this to evolve to a higher state of greatness.
Awesome Melody.

Namaste April 19, 2015 at 19:58

Years ago an early mentor of mine named Richard told me this story. He was in his 20′s and sitting in a bar complaining about how the world sucked and everybody in it was ripping people off. He went on and on about it to the bartender. Complaining about all the people who had screwed him over. Complaining about a friend of his who had recently stolen money from him. Suddenly the guy next to him said, “I can’t stand hearing this anymore. Who have you ripped off lately?” Richard turned to him and replied, “What are you talking about? I haven’t ripped anyone off!” The guy replied, “You can lie to me but you can’t lie to yourself son. The only reason you’re getting ripped off is because you’re ripping other people off.” Richard got pissed off and walked out of the bar, cursing the guy sitting next to him. A few days later though it hit him. The guy was right. He’d ripped someone off just a week before the money had been stolen from him. That was a life changing moment for Richard. He stopped ripping people off and soon he noticed that people weren’t ripping him off anymore. He evolved to the point where he didn’t even lock his front door because he wasn’t worried about attracting something negative.

When Richard told me this story, I was in my late teens and I realized the reason I was surrounded by predators was because I was one myself. I was far from an innocent victim. I made a decision to change. Just like magic the people around me changed too. This isn’t a lone incident for Alex. His friends are experiencing the same kind of thing so I’d love to ask Alex, “What have you been doing lately that has caused others to screwed over?” While I’m fully aware that Alex could simply be focused on what he doesn’t want and getting randomly screwed could be the result of that, my own personal life experience makes me wonder if something else is going on. The world is often simply a mirror.

Katie April 19, 2015 at 21:20

Love it!! And, amen!

Summer April 19, 2015 at 22:30

Amen!!! Loved this!!! :)

Lucas April 19, 2015 at 23:32

Hey Melody, I don’t know if you’ll actually read this, but I want to say that I’m a huge fan of your blog. I’ve been in this LoA bandwagon for years, starting with The Secret and have been following the teachings of Abraham Hicks for quite a while, and I can see the essence of their teachings in your messages. But there’s something that I have a difficult time practicing. You and Abraham describe that we have to be a vibrational match to what you want, which means, you have to believe that you already have it, but I have such a hard time with me. Whenever I try to feel and believe that I have something that I don’t have (and want very much!) I feel an discrepancy within me, an untruthfulness and at the end of the day I wish it was true. Can you help me?

Melody Fletcher April 20, 2015 at 16:45

Hey Lucas,

You don’t have to believe that you already have it. You just have to allow yourself to feel the way you think you will when you have it.
Achieve the feeling of it now, instead of waiting to feel that way until you get the thing you want.

I hope that clears it up for you. :)

Hugs,

Melody

Lucas April 20, 2015 at 20:33

Thank you so much for replying!

In my case, I’m a gamer and I want a new console. If I just get happy, think about other things that make me feel happy, will I be a vibrational match to the console, or do I have to think about the console?

Sugar Baby April 21, 2015 at 08:01

I’ve received so much (thank you amazing universe) by simply putting out my request only once and having faith, just believe, no doubt!! I’ve never even had to feel much after that and I’ve received it.

It’s not so much a process as having faith and being happy.

It’s real. Somedays I read about processes like scripting, journaling, visualizing, dancing to my dreams that I SHOULD follow and it seems like so much work and I remind myself that I’ve made the most amazing magic happen simply by making a request (for me saying it loud feels awesome) and then never mention it again simply because I am a fairly private person. They still come true even though I dont feel the need to think about them.

My manifestations take a little while to combust into my reality so I if you are generally happy (even if it’s not about the console) baby you’re going to experience some wonderful stuff that may eventuate into something even better than you initially thought. So thinking or not thinking about what I want hasn’t impacted on my manifesting. Sometimes I like thinking about it and sometimes I dont. Two things that make them come true, true happiness and faith. I think our subconscious does the rest.

However, if there is a fear of thinking about the console because it means so much to you, then you need to face that fear and then the magic starts.

Just Call Me A. April 23, 2015 at 22:54

Nice comment Sugar Baby, thank you for sharing!

Just wondering how you go about facing fears. Some are very strong, deterring us from our goals, especially the fear of embarrassment. It is certainly not a good feeling at all. And of something does mean a lot to us, there is more fearful energy there, yes. I find letting go of it leads to quick manifestations for sure, but I am looking for ways on how to handle fears before they turn too big and sort of cage us in.

Sugar Baby May 15, 2015 at 02:25

I’m sorry I only just saw your message when I revisited this article. I bet you’re wondering why I revisited this article, it’s because I’m dealing with fear right now. So dealing with our fears is an ongoing journey, I wonder if Melody still has them and how she deals with them?

Firstly to deal with your fear of embarrasment you have to let shame go. Shame goes when you’re vulnerable about expressing your thoughts including those fears. I have found this hard over the years because I felt that by talking about someone’s or something’s impact on me was a sign of weakness. Being soft and open has really dispelled so much of that embarrasment which is a fear. After years of “suffering”, I realised it wasn’t even real, just a perception because of where I was vibrationally. It was just in my head. That may not make any sense to you right now until you start being open. Baby steps honey! Talking about your embarrassment may make the feeling lessen each and everytime, resisting it creates more shame or embarrasment. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, journal it. I highly suggest you start smiling at others, complimenting others, connecting with others if you get the urge to but only if it feels good to you. Being human and open, for me, actually bonded me with others and made you feel supported and somehow it aligned me with wonderful, helpful, trusting loving people. I’ve truly done a 180 degree turn in what I’m mirroring just by being warm, positive, open and I like to make each experience a nice one.

Now if that sounds like too much to you, it doesn’t take much to change your vibe. Have you heard of the butterfly affect which is a science based explanation of how small insignificant changes can make wonderful unforseen changes. Sort of what us LOAers call synchronicity – which is that wonderful coincidence that happens to you that you absolutely love and would never even have thought up yourself in your best fantasy. And it doesn’t take much to see the affects. Think of what makes you feel positive and do it. Read Melody’s article again and have faith particularly where it says try and feel as you would if the situation/person wasn’t causing you to feel otherwise. If you are finding it hard to feel confident in your particularly situation, feel happy instead for now (insert any positive emotion) because your happiness will give you more and more confidence. Baby steps is the secret! Then let go and know that no matter happens, you’ll be OK. I keep repeating LET IT GO and EVERYTHING WILL BE OK.

Moonsparkle April 22, 2015 at 00:28

Hi Lucas, a PS3 console was one of the things I manifested. I’d had a PS2 for years and a PS1 before that, but a PS3 felt more “out of reach” to me because they’re more expensive. I felt like I’d never be able to have one at one point.

I have a Vision Pad (like a Vision Board but mine is a pad of paper) and I had a picture of PS3 on there. I would look at it and imagine myself doing different things on it, like playing games, listening to music etc. I also did the Vibrational Ladder exercise from this blog. Here’s a link: http://www.deliberateblog.com/2011/07/17/the-vibrational-ladder-how-to-feel-better-in-4-simple-steps/

I didn’t do these techniques every day, just when I felt like it. The games consoles come down in price all the time (because they get older and newer ones come out, i.e. the PS4) and eventually it came down enough for me to buy one. I split the cost with a relative and got it almost 2 years ago now.

I don’t know if you feel that money is a barrier to you getting the console you want (it was one of my barriers/blocks) but I hope that my story helps you a bit. :) You might like those techniques or others might suit you better. Good luck with manifesting your console!
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Natalie April 24, 2015 at 16:58

Perhaps this will help http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AN9XZsKQOgA. It’s a video by Melody (How Much Focus Do You Need to Give a Manifestation Before It Arrives?)

Brian April 20, 2015 at 01:10

Abraham Hicks ~ About her expectation of others?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5B-myahIG6M

Also, since everything in life is inherently neutral, when you feel screwed over, what actually happened was a neutral experience that you have defined as negative. You could define the experience as positive, and if you did and really felt that, then you would allow yourself to receive a positive effect from the experience.?

When you define an experience as negative, you disallow yourself from perceiving the positive that can come forth from the experience and only allow yourself to perceive and receive the negative from that experience.?

Here’s an example of a person who defined a seemingly negative experience as positive, and received a positive result:?

Bashar :: “Living an Extraordinary Life” highlights?https://youtu.be/LolMxVjjpQU?t=3m30s
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Terry April 20, 2015 at 05:39

Oh yes, Amen !

Zanda April 20, 2015 at 07:27

Amen! Amen Melody!!!

Rose April 20, 2015 at 16:21

mucho gracias, melody. Tienes ojos bonitos, melody! This blog post is a euphony. :)

alifeinboxes April 20, 2015 at 20:39

Amen! (love you Melody:)

M April 21, 2015 at 08:01

Hi, this is not really related to the post, but has anyone successfully changed facial features with LOA? I really, really hate how I look…dread on the point of suicide. It has to do with certain features/bone structure that you can have surgery to change. Physical beauty and having a beautiful, harmoniously proportioned face is important to me. I want to look like one of the beautiful models with large wide set eyes, small chin and jaw, high wide forehead, heart shaped face. The type of face that society at large and pretty much all people consider pretty/attractive. I keep removing my focus from this topic but it continues to come back and I can’t seem to shift it or stop wanting.

Natalie April 24, 2015 at 07:00

Anything is possible with LOA. However, you have to actually really and truly believe it’s possible for you to achieve it. Also, to manifest anything it can’t feel like some far off thing with a fat chance of occurring, it has to feel like a natural thing that could really happen to you. Not the easiest thing, since the current belief systems firmly believe in the impossibility of this. So you’d have to overcome some hurdles in your own belief system, namely the possibility of manifesting “impossible” things.
Also, you can’t push against your current face/appearance. You can’t think “I’m ugly, so I want to change myself.” You can’t cringe every time you see a picture of yourself, or else you’ll just be adding to your current reality.
I hate to say it, but if you have that much dread over your face right now, there’s no way that you’ll be able to create a new face with that mindset. In order for this manifestation to happen you have to find some way of appreciating/liking/making peace with your current face before you can change it.

James Dabbagian April 22, 2015 at 02:50

“You see, when we are talking about “your” reality, we really are referring to YOUR reality. Yours and yours alone. Everything that happens to you, every manifestation (and it’s all a manifestation) is merely a reflection, a mirror, of your vibration. You’re in the center of the hologram, and you are projecting that hologram. No one else can influence that picture. It’s all you.”

So basically, to be a LOA believer, you have to be a solipsist? Because it seems like that’s what I’m reading here. Not that it’s bad or anything, just want to know.
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Melody Fletcher April 22, 2015 at 18:28

Hey James,

In a way, yes, being a solopsist can definitely help, if that view provides relief. For many, it doesn’t, because it feels lonely, or like not caring about others. Your POWER lies in the solopsist view, that no one outside of yourself has any power. You don’t have to go all the way (if you don’t want to) and see them as not existing. The view I’ve come to is that other people do exist, but they are, essentially, all different aspects of ME (the big ME), or the divine, if you will. We are all ONE, and therefore, there is only one of us, but we have created this illusion of separation to facilitate a more specific experience. So, these different aspects do exist, but we can’t give them any power in terms of our own experience.

I hope that makes sense.

Huge hugs,

Melody

Terry April 22, 2015 at 08:57

Hey melody,
It is hard to come to realization for me that you can simply manifest any thing you want with just by adjusting your vibrational match or wants.The more you want the more it gets farther.Is it a emotional state you have to feel. What if I believe I am a master at some thing or to put it in a platonic state and you eventfully become successfully at what you do and I am talking maybe OK just you believe a little master. But your EGO will camouflage anything we try to focus on when a random thought occurs which is totally out of the ordinary. If you are not paying attention, it simply disappears. It is like a pulsating thought, just appears then fades away. Almost like a dream. You almost have no caption of it. It has to be almost like a scary dream or thought to stay a while longer. Try to blink your eyes, go ahead a few times, every blink means it is a different you. Yes I mean we diffidently change, we are not the same. We are like the same but different with each blink. Something like a vibrational match or probable you.This you resonates with your thoughts. We were here before but there is something holding us back from remembering. If you had a good hypnotist he/she would prove it to you. Which you do you think you are, the one that will be happy or the one that will be sad…or rich or poor…at the end we still will expand, believe me !!! May take longer for some,but I will bet you can and have the ability to change that progress ! What a long elaboration ! Yes I am meaning you Melody F.

maryn April 24, 2015 at 13:01

I need some advice plse about how setting boundaries ties with this. I have a friend who always comes late when he says he will see me early. It drives me nuts. I experience it as lack of respect and care. So I need to sort that out as he us only reflecting my vibration. But what does setting a boundary mean then? You dont see me at the time you promised then you cannot be in my playground? So he migrates out. Comes another new friend, reflecting the same. So he cant play anymore as well because that is my minimum standard. So I keep boundaring people out because i dont like what they reflect to me about myself?

Natalie April 26, 2015 at 02:25

You could try affirming this new belief to yourself: I’m worthy of being respected. I deserve respect, and I deserve to have people in my life who respect me. I deserve friends who respect me and respect my time.
While you do this, focus on interacting with people who show up on time, and especially on how happy that makes you feel.
Setting a boundary means that you don’t just continue to put up with this behavior, you recognize you deserve to have friends who respect your time. The first part of setting a boundary is defining how you want to be treated, what kinds of behavior you want in your life, what you absolutely don’t want. The second part is actually enforcing that boundary. Since you know about LOA you don’t have to do this through your action, you can do it through cleaning up your vibration.

maryn April 27, 2015 at 06:40

Thanks Natalie – your answer clears up a lot for me.

Terry April 25, 2015 at 22:08

How would I think when I would have what I wanted ! Good one !
Thanks

Terry April 26, 2015 at 00:38

Feeling good !

Terry May 6, 2015 at 02:50

Hey melody,
Thanks…

Terry May 6, 2015 at 03:00

Or should I say AMEN !

Terry June 10, 2015 at 04:51

I already have it, it is nice, but, whatever. * Only thinking… * What else is there that
I might be needing ! A lot my friend…

L. U.

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