If I Feel My Negative Emotions, Won’t I Just Create More Of The Same?

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by Melody Fletcher on December 4, 2014

 

Coaching Call #129 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: Can Being a Healer Be Fun and Profitable? 

This caller found a natural healing method that helped her tremendously when she was ill and now she wants to help others in the same way.  She hasn’t made the career move yet because she’s worried that she won’t find enough clients who are open to this kind of work, and that building her practice will be a lengthy, torturous process. Like many light workers she also believes she can’t have financial abundance when helping people.

How can she align herself with clients who are ready to be healed? What is she responsible for when healing someone? And why do so many healers think they have to struggle financially?

If you’re someone who’s interested in becoming a natural healer but you worry about clients who aren’t ready for you or you think healers should limit their financial abundance this call is for you.

Read the full call summary here.

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Awesome Michelle asks: “Can you clarify the difference between feeling sad emotions and creating them? For example, if I was going through a breakup and was feeling sad about it a few times a week, should I let myself feel sad all those times, or at that point, am I just creating those bad emotions?”

Dear Awesome Michelle,

Thank you for this most excellent of questions! It’s one that I answer A LOT, so I’m thrilled to get a chance to write up a response.

Why you have negative emotions

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? The whole reason you have any kind of emotion, negative or positive, is to let you know where you are focusing. You see, you have no idea where your focus is pointing (watch out where you aim that thing!) unless you get some feedback, just like you don’t know precisely what you’re directing one of those laser pointers at until you see that little red dot on the wall. You need some kind of indicator to let you know what you’re focusing on, and your emotions do just that. When you feel positive emotion, you’re focusing on something you want, something that matches Who You Really Are. When you feel negative emotion, you’re focusing on something you don’t want. It doesn’t matter if you are consciously aware of what you’re focusing on; in fact, you generally aren’t. Your emotions, however, will never lie.

There are many ways in which we can use our emotional feedback to help us fine tune our vibration and shape our reality. The process that I advise goes like this:

  • Become aware of the negative emotion and own it, meaning that you admit to yourself how you really feel, even if you don’t want to feel that way.
  • Figure out how you WANT to feel instead and do your best to reach for that emotion to the best of your ability. You probably will not, at this point, be able to make it all the way, but you will be able to activate the frequency of what you want to some degree.
  • Notice the obstacles that now pop up – the “Yeah, but’s…”, and spend some time contradicting each one until you clear the resistance.
  • If that doesn’t work, you haven’t actually figured out how you really feel. Sit with the negative emotion some more until you manifest more evidence of that frequency (thoughts, memories and ideas), which will give you more information about what’s truly going on. In other words, go back to the beginning of the process and start over. Only this time, don’t gloss over the first step. It’s the most important.

Think of your emotions as messengers, there to let you know that you’re holding on to something that isn’t serving you. Your negative manifestations, by the way, are just larger delivery vehicles for the emotional messengers. When the message is delivered (when you allow yourself to receive it), the messenger will go away.

Aren’t bad feeling thoughts, um, bad, though?

It’s at this point that a lot of people get confused. They understand that negative emotions are there to tell us something, but when I advise them to step into the emotion and really allow themselves to feel it, they freak out a bit. Aren’t they creating more negativity? Doesn’t focusing on what feels bad just make things worse? Doesn’t even Abraham (who I recommend highly) say to stay away from the bad feeling thoughts?

Here’s the thing: I’m not advising you to purposely seek out bad feeling stuff and wallow in it. You’re not creating negative emotion, you’re simply acknowledging the negative emotion that’s already there, and has been for a long time. You’re finally listening to the message.

Of course, if you can simply distract yourself and not think about that subject at all anymore, if you can truly feel better and ignore that topic altogether, do that. It’s the easiest way to raise your vibration. If the issue that’s bugging you won’t go away, however, if it keeps cropping up and slapping you in the face, you need a different tactic.

Let’s take the example of the breakup. So, your significant other dumped you, and now you’re feeling sad. You could try to just be happy no matter what, but chances are, you’d much rather cry into a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. Fair enough. In this case, simply distracting yourself won’t work. This doesn’t mean that nothing will.

Here’s my advice:

Feel sad. But do it constructively

Allow yourself to feel sad; in fact, freaking wallow in it. Give your despair full and free reign. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Won’t I be perpetuating the energy of the sadness, therefore creating more of it?” Nope. Notice that I did not say that you should find all the sad stuff in the world and focus on it. That would be stupid and yes, that would make you a match to MORE sadness. What I am advising is that you allow the sadness that is already there, as a result of how you are inadvertently and unknowingly focusing upon yourself, to flow so that it can leave you.

This is not NEW sadness, this is OLD sadness. You’re already focusing on something that doesn’t serve you. All you’re doing now is becoming aware of what you’re focusing and why, so you can STOP DOING THAT.

This is not an intellectual exercise; it’s an emotional one. Don’t try to figure it out at this point, don’t dig into your psyche and try to analyze why you are feeling the way you are. Just feel it. Just allow yourself to be sad. Certainly, don’t perpetuate the sadness by adding to it. Don’t tell sad stories, or ask others to validate your sadness (they can validate your right to be sad, though), or to commiserate with you. Don’t seek out others who are sad. Just sit with your sadness and feel it.

Now, the first thing that will happen is that you’ll already feel a bit of relief. This messenger is trying to get your attention, and when you allow the emotion to flow freely, it’s like you’re finally opening the door to receive the message. You feel relief when you stop pushing against that flow.

The message will be contained in the emotion. In order to unlock it, you have to feel it. When you do, you will begin to understand the emotion more and more. Keep in mind that you’ll have to feel the emotion for more than 20 seconds (which is when most people want to quit). Spend a few minutes doing this exercise. If your personal development takes less time than a microwave burrito, you might be cutting it a little short…

If the sadness has been suppressed for a long time, you may need to spend several days or even weeks giving it free reign (this longer time period will apply to people who are severely depressed or going through a grieving process). As long as the wallowing actually feels like relief, you’re on the right track. In the example of the breakup, you’d probably be more likely to be intermittently sad. In other words, the sadness would not be constant, but would come up throughout the day or week.

The more you allow yourself to TRULY feel this sadness, giving yourself full permission to feel it, the faster it will leave you. Keep in mind that you cannot wallow in your negative emotion and beat up on yourself for having that negative emotion at the same time. This will keep you stuck. If you’re going to wallow, wallow fully. Really get into it. Surrender to it. Feel it with gusto. Acknowledge how you’re feeling (“I’m so freaking sad!”) and give yourself full permission to feel that way (“…and that’s totally ok!”). As you do, you’ll get more information.

Get a clue

Now, there will be times when simply allowing the emotion to flow will be enough to release it, and you won’t have to do anything else. You’ll just feel well and truly better. If this happens, congratulations.

If, however, your mind has a tendency to get in the way and halt the process (“I will not let myself progress until I understand what’s going on!”), you’ll have to guide the process along a little. You can do this by paying attention to the messages contained in your emotions. These messages will generally come in the form of memories. As you feel sad, for example, you’ll begin to remember other times from your life when you felt exactly the same way. Notice that these are not examples of when you felt sort of like you do now. The frequency of these memories will be an exact match to what you are experiencing now. These memories will provide you with more data – a clearer view of how you’re really feeling and what this is truly about.

Let’s say that in this case, as you feel the sadness of the breakup, you first remember another breakup from when you were 16. In that memory, the boy you were dating not only broke up with you, but he ended up immediately dating your best friend. You realize that not only do you feel sad, but you feel betrayed. And even though there was no best friend involved this time, the emotions are the same. You also realize that there is a strong undercurrent of “I’m not good enough”. What was so great about your BFF that your boyfriend preferred her over you? Or, even more accurately, what was wrong with you? What IS wrong with you? You feel self-pity and not a small amount of resentment, waffling between “If I were better somehow, I would’ve been able to make it work” and “Screw him and the horse he rode in on! I don’t need him or that stupid ho from when I was 16!”

Do you see that this is about much more than just a bit of sadness? But you can’t figure that out unless you’re willing to feel it. Of course, as you feel the emotion, as it flows, it will begin to morph. It will naturally guide you to better feeling emotions. This is why your sadness will turn into anger.

Follow the emotional trail

When that happens, keep on giving your emotions free reign. Notice that feeling emotion and expressing it in destructive ways are not even close to the same thing. Be angry if that’s how you feel. But maybe refrain from punching people in the face. So, if you are being pulled into anger, be angry. Let the emotions take you where you need to go.

Of course, for most readers of this blog, that won’t be so easy. Your mind will get in the way and insist on being a part of the process. No worries. Keep identifying and acknowledging how you feel. When you get to the root of it, how you truly feel, you’ll get this large sense of relief again (due to no longer denying that feeling or suppressing it). You’ll know that you’ve got it. If you find yourself getting frustrated because you can’t NAME the feeling, back off and remind yourself that this is an emotional exercise. Your mind can be involved if it insists, but it’s not really needed here.

So, you’ve now had the memory of your breakup when you were 16. You continue to sit with the emotions and give them free reign when another memory comes in. This one is from when you were 8. Your older siblings went off to play without you, leaving you on your own and feeling utterly rejected. And suddenly this thought comes into your mind “No one wants to play with me”, and it hits you like a ton of bricks. You’ve given voice to what’s really bothering you. You feel rejected and unaccepted, alone, abandoned and like you’re not good enough. The sentence “No one wants to play with me” perfectly represents – to you – exactly how you feel.

NOW focus on what you want

Once you’ve allowed your pain to purge from your system, it’ll be much easier to reach for how you actually want to feel. In this case, you might start with “Some people DO want to play with me”, and then go up the vibrational ladder from there (the Vibrational ladder is a system of choosing ever more positive perspectives, incrementally working your way up to where you ultimately want to be. You can read a full explanation here.)

Keep in mind that limiting beliefs are always absolute or black and white. “This is how it ALWAYS is.” “NO ONE does that.” “I NEVER get what I want.” So, a great way to immediately shift some energy is to interject a softer word such as SOMETIMES. You’ll want to begin to look for evidence of the gray areas. It’s not that NO ONE wants to play with you. Those kids didn’t when you were 8. But what about all those times when people have wanted to play with you? What about all those other kids, all those other dates, the friends you’re meeting for a drink this Friday? Remember them?

Your mind won’t want to, but this is where you have to be just a little bit stubborn. Validate this evidence – choose to see it as pertinent to this situation. Don’t dismiss it. When you no longer allow a belief to be absolute, it will fall apart. Limiting beliefs cannot exist in the grey area. You’ll be able to reach for even better feeling statements, such as, “A lot of people actually like playing with me”, or “I get to play anytime I want.” And now you’re flying!

Bottom line

Feeling negative emotion is not the same as generating it. If you’re watching the news and you see something that makes you feel bad, and you continue watching it, bitching about it and focusing on it, even though you know it’s making you feel bad, you are generating negative emotion. Don’t do that.

If you’re watching the news and you see something that feels bad, and you stop watching, allowing you to feel instantly better, Bravo! If you’ve stopped watching but still feel bad, allow yourself to feel the emotions. You are no longer activating the feeling – you’ve turned the TV off, but obviously something else is actually causing the negative emotion. You are giving the messenger a chance to deliver the message it so clearly wants to bring you. You are not perpetuating the situation, you’re giving yourself a chance to figure out what the real situation is. The TV program was just a trigger for something that’s been wanting to come out for a long time.

Another way to state this is: don’t go looking for negative emotion, but when it pops up, let it.

I hope that I’ve been able to clarify this issue once and for all. It’s something that so many people struggle with and something that trips up even the most dedicated students. Speaking of which, those of you who follow Abraham may still be wondering why I’d seemingly contradict them. I don’t, actually. We’re simply teaching in different ranges of the spectrum. Abraham advises us to just reach for the better feeling emotion and be super stubborn about it. If the mind jumps in and tries to bring up objections, ignore it and keep on focusing. This does work, unless your mind is still running the show. I tend to work with people who aren’t quite ready to just “let it go”, and need some assistance putting the mind in its proper place. Once you’ve done that, focusing on what you want is all you’ll ever need to do.

{ 47 comments }

Cordy December 4, 2014 at 20:57

AMAZING!!!!!! post. Thank you.

“don’t gloss over the first step. It’s the most important.”

Question: why do you think it’s so hard for people (or is it just for some of us?) to admit how they feel? This is my weirdest habit, and one of the hardest to shift. It’s so deeply ingrained in my brain that I can’t admit that I feel something negative, it’s amazing how much of a reflex it is. I recently realized that I spent years moving no higher than “doubt” on the Abraham-style emotional scale, but insisting to myself that I felt “hopeful”.

Where does this fear of our own negative emotions come from? Why are we so resistant to admitting to the experience we are living?

Stacie December 4, 2014 at 21:12

Great question, Cordy! I thought about that as well, and came to this conclusion about myself. I am sometimes afraid to admit how I’m feeling, not because of the emotion, but because of how I want to act out what I’m feeling. If I’m mad, and in my feeling that anger I think about punching someone or something, I feel guilty about the thought. My guilt about the thought gets translated into guilt about the emotion, so I tell myself do feel mad because it’s not nice to hit. I may have oversimplified this example, but I hope it’s still clear. I’m working on feeling the emotion and letting the thoughts pass through my mind, without necessarily acting on them or feeling guilty about them.

Brian December 5, 2014 at 22:29

Hey Cordy,

You might be afraid that if you admit you are feeling negative emotion, then you will be attracting negative, unwanted things into your life. Or, if you admit it and thus validate it as an equal emotion to positive emotion, you are afraid it will stay and will not go away.?

Also, you can ask yourself:

What is the worst thing you believe would happen, if you admitted you were feeling negative emotion?

kelli December 4, 2014 at 21:00

Hi Melody
Loved this post so much, and I think it will be helpful for a lot of people because it addresses an issue that can cause a lot of confusion for people who think making LOA ‘work in their favor’ is all about thinking happy thoughts and ignoring all the crap. But, that won’t work as all that ‘stuff’ is still in their vibration. It is easy to develop a great fear around our negative emotions once we start consciously working with LOA, but like you said, we have to acknowledge it. We can’t truly let something go unless we are willing to embrace it and admit its presence. Otherwise, we just go into denial, which blocks all the awesomeness!
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Stacie December 4, 2014 at 21:01

For some time yesterday, I was in a heavy feeling place – moving between powerlessness, homicidal imaginings, and frustration! At one point in all of that, I thought about writing in with a question to you, Melody. Then I remembered that like everyone and everything outside of me, you are a messenger…but not the message. I decided to get quiet and allow myself to feel all those emotions and think all those thoughts. I felt the burn of anger until big, fat tears started to fall. I slept more soundly last night, after all the crying, than I have in months.

Thank you!

Elle December 4, 2014 at 21:15

Hi Melody…as usual your explanation is pretty darn perfect. It’s so great to read something written with such clarity. I’m reminded of little kids, who feel their feelings perfectly, sometimes loudly, sometimes temperamentally, but they don’t hang on to them. They feel them and then move on.

For us adults, we’ve picked up a lot of ‘stuff’ along the way that makes it a bit more challenging for some of us. Personally, I’ve always liked and used to great effect the Lester Levenson techniques of letting go when things don’t seem to be willing to be let go of! :-)

Katherine December 4, 2014 at 21:41

This is perfect! Thank you! Isn’t it great how messages that you need to hear just manifest, when you need them most! Perfect!

Karen December 4, 2014 at 21:43

This was a GREAT post Melody, and something I’ve been wrestling with for a while. Oh, and freaking hilarious picture BTW. :)
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Marjorie December 4, 2014 at 22:14

Really needed this, I’m excited about trying the process! You’ve been through it with me before but like you mentioned, I tend to not sit with the feelings/emotions long enough and my mind always tries to “help”.

Thanks!

Marjorie

A December 4, 2014 at 22:24

Great post Melody, and I found it pertinent to my current situation, but what about THIS:
I was humming along, feeling good about everything including my son’s school when an incident happened where my son set off a chain of events that ended up with him accidentally scratching another boy while defending himself from a bunch of boys jumping on him, and then getting into trouble from a teacher who humiliated and scared him so much that he became extremely traumatised. Things aren’t great for us as a family at the moment in many ways and he was bullied at and by his last school which we are trying to heal from, but I was focusing on good stuff for months and months so I can’t understand why this happened.
Now I am furious and I just want to kill someone, starting with that teacher. I find that if it’s me I can let things go and focus on good feeling stuff but if it’s my kid I just want to slash and burn. I’m too angry to sit and figure out where the feeling comes from so I can’t make sense of the whole situation.

Sofie December 4, 2014 at 22:56

“I’m too angry to sit and figure out where the feeling comes from so I can’t make sense of the whole situation.”

This seems to be the point of the post, actually. You need to feel the feeling first, and figure it out later. Your brain needs to let your heart do it’s job.

Just Call Me A. December 6, 2014 at 18:51

How about is this takes too long? We all lead very busy lives and just can’t keep dealing with emotions that turn into roller coaster events, taking us out of our peaceful path when they happen. These events may become too frequent. Is there a way we can lessen the time it takes to “recover”? Does it come with practice, like everything else?

Brian December 8, 2014 at 10:19

It helps when you begin your day focusing on good feeling thoughts, and pre-paving the energy of the day with how you want to feel. When you wake up, just spend a couple minutes getting on your high flying disc, high vibrational energy, feeling good, and then go on about your day. Starting your day by creating positive momentum will help you stay in a higher vibration and feel good throughout the rest of the day.

Just Call Me A. December 9, 2014 at 02:34

Thank you, dearest Brian!

sarah December 4, 2014 at 23:01

Who is Abraham?

Melody Fletcher December 5, 2014 at 01:07

Hey Sarah,

A woman named Esther Hicks channels a frequency which she has dubbed “Abraham”. They speak through her and provide answers to people’s questions. The philosophy that I teach is very closely aligned with Abe’s, and I consider them some of my greatest teachers.

If you don’t find trance-channeled info too weird, you can check it all out HERE.

They also have a ton of videos on Youtube (search for Abraham Hicks), where you can see Abraham/Esther speak.

Hugs!

Melody
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A December 4, 2014 at 23:07

Well I guess what I’m trying to understand is, even if I get to the original issue with myself, how does that help my son? It still happened and he will still be traumatised. Nothing will change that, so how can I turn that into a positive?

Melody Fletcher December 5, 2014 at 01:01

Read Sophie’s reply, A. Then read it again. Your mind will argue with you, but that’s what you need to do. Feel the anger. The clarity will come later. :)

Hugs,

Melody

A December 5, 2014 at 08:55

Thanks Melody! It actually brought up emotions about another painful issue that I have been able to ignore to an extent but it pops back now and then, I was depressed about it but now I am angry. Maybe I am working through the anger around it. It relates to me feeling that life is unfair and people pick on me (and my son) even though we are nice people and do the right thing by everyone. When I get over my homicidal feelings I will feel better and maybe be able to release it a bit more. Maybe as I am raising my vibration (really successfully – I am feeling good and getting lots of signs and coincidences) these obstacles to manifesting a better reality are coming up and being released.

J December 5, 2014 at 18:33

“I was depressed about it but now I am angry.”

Congratulations! You have successfully moved up the vibrational ladder :)

Edelweiss December 4, 2014 at 23:15

Thank you so much for this clear explanation. It is good to be reminded of the process again and again. And that picture – oh boy, the next time I think to myself that I am stuck I am going to have that in my head! :)

Sarah December 5, 2014 at 01:17

I don’t think this contradicts what Abraham says at all. They tell us “not to put a happy face sticker on it” and talk about how it’s nonsensical to cover up your gas indicator when the tank is on empty, rather than acknowledging the state of your gas tank.

They do have a tendency to stubbornly insist that we move in a positive direction with our emotions, but I think it’s because most humans have a tendency to stubbornly cling to their contrast. :)

A_Blindy December 5, 2014 at 01:52

Thanks so much for this post. I am working on some things with regard to this right now, and these are very important insights.
One thing I am curious about though, is, you say that you can just allow the emotion to release, if it will. You don’t have to get involved in everything; it is not necessary to consciously understand what the emotion was about. So, is what you are saying, that our focus affects our emotions and our emotions can also effect our focus? Are focus and emotion so interconnected that you can change one (emotions by allowing them to release and naturally rise, focus by gently moving that “cursor thingy” in our heads) and the other will change?
Thanks.

KW Stout December 5, 2014 at 02:16

I like that you made the distinction between *feeling* a negative emotion and *generating* a negative emotion. I think people get so caught up in trying to be positive that they think it’s bad to feel negative emotions. Like you said, negative emotions are a great way for our mind to communicate with us. However, you have no room to complain if you continue to generate negative emotions in your own life. Nice post!
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Will December 5, 2014 at 03:12

Wonderful! Admit how you feel to yourself, make it your own….and then you can tell others how you feel, without fear, shame or any risk of betrayal.

Ryan Biddulph December 5, 2014 at 04:19

Hi Melody,

Great to read you, hear you, and be infused with an MF of a fix today ;) Perhaps only you, I and Kelli will get that one.

Wow. I recall a few distinct moments in life where I surrendered completely to negative emotions. KC and I saved a puppy from deplorable conditions in India. I mean, we cared for Source. For a bit. Said puppy perished after 2 days. It was perhaps the greatest trigger of my life. I sat and cried, and dry-heaved, for hours, wailing, convulsing. It was a bit on the intense side, as Daniel Day Lewis would have lent me kudos for my intensity!

Anyway, that day, I learned how to be completely with my negative emotions. After that day, I was free to be happier, and happier, and happier, and a neat little chain of events transpired after that.

Your tips are so accurate, and your insight, clear. I love mentions of NOT seeking out negativity. I found myself reading about police protests here in the States for a few minutes (Bali where are you?!), then, instead of SMH, I just posted something about the cell phone camera being a tool of truth. Then I decided to stop by Deliberate Receiving ;)

Thanks much Melody!

Ryan
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Jacqui December 5, 2014 at 04:51

Melody I love how you answer these questions and get a lot of your responses. I am wondering in regards to this question if you or your readers have heard of EFT. I practiced meditation, law of attraction, therapy and many other modalities all of which worked for me to some degree. But STILL those situations would arise (I call them ‘push button’ situations) where in I’d have an unpleasant emotional reaction. I would call it ‘falling in the pit’. I’d eventually get out of them but it would sometimes take days and a lot of effort and mental gymnastics. Discovering EFT was almost miraculous to me because if I used it when a bad feeling arose (such as grief or jealousy over the end of a romantic relationship) I would ‘tap’ on the immediate feelings, which often gave rise to older situations from my past and I would just keep tapping according to the ‘basic recipe’ until I felt inner peace. The miracle was, a ‘break-up’ which would have in the past taken me months to ‘get over’ would be resolved in several hours of tapping. The ‘next’ miracle is that subsequent romantic relationships just kept getting better and better as I truly ‘healed’ those push-button places in my psyche that were contributing to my intense feelings. Hope this helps someone.

Adrianne December 5, 2014 at 06:30

Thanks Melody, you are an angel!!

Lorraine December 5, 2014 at 11:39

Hi all

I did this exercise last night and OMG it works! I allowed myself to just lie there and let myself feel negative emotion and what came up after a few minutes (although I had no co spect of time) was a thought that seemed to have no relevance to want I assumed was blocking me. BUT when I let it happened and then went with the opposite feeling of the negative thought I felt the blockage leave my body slowly but surely. This morning I’m still not feeling any negative emotion about what I what I want to come into my life. Just to explain- when I allowed the negative feeling the word ‘dirty’ came into my head and THAT word doesn’t have any logic behind it based on what I want (hence why no lightbulb moment beforehand). When I thought about the word ‘clean’ – WOW it started to all make sense!! I don’t fully understand why these two words are relevant to what I want but hey when something works – go with the flow!!

Cordy December 6, 2014 at 01:31

That’s really cool. Thanks for sharing!

Lorraine December 6, 2014 at 01:58

Oh dear. I’ve just read my comment and noticed errors!! Maybe next time best not to add a comment using my I-phone lol

Judy December 5, 2014 at 12:16

This post is spot on. Several days ago the person I love most in the world made his transition. I’ve experienced every single emotion known to humankind. I grieve the loss of his physical presence, I feel the pure anger towards the vultures and parasites that have shown up (you know, the people who had nothing to do with him while he was alive), I feel the frustration and confusion of dealing with the necessary paperwork. But what keeps me going is focusing on his energy that surrounds me, and keeps me connected to his even stronger than ever love and joy. The grief, once felt, dissipates. The anger, once felt, dissolves. The frustration and confusion, once acknowledged, becomes insignificant. When my positive energy seems to be leaking out of me, he, as part of the universal life force, replenishes me.
Even through the most difficult times, if we focus on what we love, we will do just fine.

Dagmar December 5, 2014 at 15:49

Hi Judy, thanks so much for sharing this with us. So very true <3

Marjorie December 5, 2014 at 17:42

Yes, Judy, thank you for sharing. You’re such a wonderful example of working with our emotions and placing your focus on what matters the most. Thank you.

Marjorie

Edelweiss December 5, 2014 at 19:10

Just wanted to send you a little thought and a hug.

Brian December 6, 2014 at 02:06

The reason you felt grief, was not because of this person, but because of your disconnection from your own alignment. This person’s transition gave you a subject to focus on that caused you to create a gap and separate yourself from who you really are. And, the more you focus on being in alignment, and connecting yourself with Source, your vibration will raise and you will feel good.

Jesmine Rose December 5, 2014 at 17:25

I think lots of confusion is created because we tend to label things as negative or positive. E-motion is energy that animates, motivates and moves us in one direction or another; pleasure/pain or upstream/downstream. Here is my take on it. http://presenceofpeace.net/exploration/
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Emily December 5, 2014 at 18:56

This was exactly what I needed! Thank you Melody, you are the best:)

Alex December 5, 2014 at 22:37

Hi Melody, great topic!

I was wondering, how does this apply to physical sensations?
If I’m experiencing physical pain or discomfort in a certain area of my body can I follow these same steps? Feel the feeling completely first, and then moving towards what I want to feel? Or is this a completely different topic? Would love some clarity on this.

-Alex

Brian December 6, 2014 at 02:21

“Feel the feeling completely first, and then moving towards what I want to feel?”

If that feels good to do that and you feel a sense of relief, then you can do that. But, if you are focusing on it, and feeling it (for longer than a couple seconds or minutes), you may also give momentum focusing on what you do not want and adding resistance. Instead, you can simply focus on what you want, not needing to give attention to what you do not want.

When you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want. So, you know how you don’t want to feel, so how do you want to feel?

And, it is easier to feel good when you are general with your thoughts. So, being general, how do you want to feel?

“I want to feel ease. I want to feel good. I want to feel relaxed. I want to feel peace. I want to feel free. I want to feel healthy. I want to feel vitality. I want to feel vibrant. I want to feel strong. I want to feel well-being.”

Melanie December 6, 2014 at 07:24

Great post as always, Melody, and very timely for many of us. I am currently facing a very difficult situation, but I try to “sit” with the discomfort and gently let the anger, sadness, worry just happen rather than resist against it and become even more upset at the feelings and fear that goes along with it. Sometimes I even smile while it is happening! The 7-11 breathing technique you mentioned in a post a few years ago (I’ve been gorging on the archives) has been a blessing too. These feelings (and sad situations) shall too pass.

Keep up the good work. You are helping so many people. HUGS!
Melanie invites you to read..Oh YEAH? Here’s to the jerks who told us “You can’t”My Profile

Karen Heumann December 7, 2014 at 02:14

Hi- I paid for the coaching call but nothing has happened. Not sure if there is a next step that you are waiting for from me. Let me know! Thanks!

Tina Mc Donald December 7, 2014 at 23:59

Hi Karen,

I sent you a private e-mail answering this.

Hugs,

Tina

Karen Heumann December 8, 2014 at 00:50

thanks!

Alexis December 11, 2014 at 01:55

I absolutely love your blog & appreciate all the hard work you put into your posts & responses to your readers.
A little off topic, I just read a very old post (Nay’s story on her healing) & it helped me a lot realize where my reoccurring skin problems started. Now I’m not sure where to continue from here for my healing. My problems started 2 years ago when I was in a horrible relationship. I was constantly stressed, overwhelmed, angry, always feeling hopeless about the relationship & situation (all my current feelings about my skin problems now). I am out of that relationship now & have been in an amazing relationship for over a year now. I don’t know what I need to do to heal myself. I cant seem to figure out the problem since I’m no longer in that situation with my ex anymore & what I’m holding on to that is continuing my skin issues.

Michelle January 2, 2015 at 21:21

Thank you for this post so, so, much. It couldn’t have come at a better time!
I have only recently discovered this site and have been reading the archived blogs constantly. Every time I have a question, I find a blog post that answers it beautifully. Love, love, it, and its very timely.

But I have a question. Can negative emotions come out of seemingly nowhere, without a trigger? I am experiencing this now, and am desperately trying to understand this so I can benefit from it, and continue moving closer to my goal (manifesting my soul mate) instead of falling into a pit of despair.

Over the last few months I’ve made some really positive changes and I was convinced I was making an authentic positive shift. No, not all of my goals have been achieved yet but I was working on cleaning out the crap and I was feeling better (released some weight, negative people gravitated out, positive relationships gravitated in, was looking forward to Christmas etc etc). Generally, life felt happy. And then, out of nowhere it seems, the shit hit the fan! On Christmas Eve I started crying and couldn’t stop! Haven’t stopped! I remember the exact moment I went from feeling good to feeling like I was drowning; I was just opening a gift (nothing sentimental)! Suddenly, the tears started falling and I began to feel so, so, sad. Issues I thought I had released with my family years ago (nothing too serious, we all have them, right?) were brought to the forefront of my mind. I am now switching between angry, and sad, and I don’t know why its all coming up right now, without a trigger. I’m reading about anger and releasing it, and all about emotions as messengers, but I still have one question I can’t find an answer to.

I’m very alarmed by how sudden and intense these emotions are, but mostly that they “took over” without a reason during a time I believed I had used LOA to make a significant shift in a positive direction. Is this the universe forcing me to acknowledge that I have in fact NOT dealt with these issues, and I need to in order to maintain forward momentum? Did this meltdown occur because I’ve been doing LOA all right or doing it all wrong?

Thanks again Melody for the sanctuary that is this website.

Dominique January 14, 2015 at 16:56

I read (passively) your post all the time and I am always humbled by the connection to everything I want to feel and need to release. Today is different though. I really READ(actively) your response and was seriously changed. I don’t know the extent of the change yet but I know I have and I just want to say Thank you. So, “Thank You”

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