Is There a Time Limit on the Manifestation of “Negative” Consequences from Low Vibrational Thoughts and Deeds?

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by Melody Fletcher on July 7, 2014

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Coaching Call #108 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: Her Own Abusive Childhood is Being Passed On to her Teenage Daughter.

This client’s own abusive childhood has left behind some beliefs that are now being mirrored by her teenage daughter. How can she truly help her daughter on her journey, while also cleaning up the powerlessness she still feels? Can she repair her relationship with her (still emotionally abusive) father?

I love this call. We hit on so many nuggets dealing with parenting, traumatic childhoods, anger releases, setting boundaries and standing up for oneself, as well as teenage pregnancy and abortion (it’s not a dark call, I promise. There’s a lot of humor in this one). If you’re a parent dealing with a rebellious child, had domineering or even abusive parents, or are bad at confrontation, this call is for you.

Read the full call summary here.

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Awesome Dudette’s Burning Question: “As I understand it, we ‘pre-pave’ our experience, i.e, what we feel/say/do NOW determines what comes into our lives. And if we have ‘unwanted’ stuff now, it’s because we have (or had?) some low vibes going on somewhere in our general vibe. I’d like to know, is there a time limit on the manifestation of ‘negative’ consequences from low vibrational thoughts and deeds? For example, if my vibe is generally high and clear now, however, I gossiped and was negative towards someone as a teenager, could the consequences of those low vibe behaviors still affect my experience? Or do negative future consequences cease the instant our vibe becomes higher? I suppose it’s a ‘karma’ type question, but I’m sure you’ll unpick it better than I can, thanks.”

Dear Awesome Dudette,

Your question does smack of Karma. You seem to be viewing your negative manifestations as a consequence of things you’ve done wrong in the past and this is not the case. Your manifestations are not punishments or lessons. And, as far as the Universe is concerned, there is no judgment anyway. There is no right or wrong. There is only wanted and unwanted, that which serves you and that which doesn’t. This is an important distinction to make, especially since a lot of people will often insist on keeping themselves in painful situations that don’t serve them in an attempt to do the “right” thing.

The Universe doesn’t judge

Let’s consider the fact that what each of us, individually, considers to be right or wrong is often based on completely arbitrary criteria. You may think it’s “wrong” to speak up for yourself in the face of authority or people who are older than you, having been taught to respect your elders. This type of belief can keep you from setting necessary boundaries at work or with family. Or you may think it’s “wrong” to leave an abusive relationship, because marriage vows are forever; so you’ll put up with being abused in order to do the “right” thing.

If you’d like to explore the subject of morality in more depth, you can do so by reading the blog post: Does the Law of Attraction Give People Permission To Hurt Others?

The important thing is that you don’t equate what you’ve called “low vibe behaviors” as “wrong”.

It’s all relative

Another thing you want to keep in mind is that past behaviors that you’re now calling “low vibe”, were probably high vibe back then. In your example, where you gossiped as a teenager, it’s very likely that this gossiping actually brought you relief at the time. Maybe you were feeling inadequate and insecure and not good enough. Talking about how others also weren’t perfect made you feel better. Then came the point at which that behavior no longer brought relief, and you stopped it. Be careful not to look at your PAST actions through the lens of your NOW vibration. Just because gossiping feels like a lower vibe action NOW, doesn’t mean it was THEN. Your vibration will have changed significantly since your teenage years. At least, one would hope…

There is only NOW

Now that we’ve cleared up the morality question, let me remind you that your past really has no power to influence your present, unless you decide that it does. When do you have to make that decision? NOW. This means that your manifestations aren’t so much a product of what you did last week or last year or at any time in the past. They are a mirror of where your vibration is NOW. Your vibration, however, is a product of all your beliefs, many of which are old and outdated. THIS is how your past affects your present.

If a belief you have NOW has been around for a while, and if you’ve given it a fair amount of attention, it will have a lot of momentum behind it. This means that it’s easier to think thoughts that match this belief than thoughts that contradict it. And it’s this momentum that can often make it seem like you’re trapped in manifestations of the past.

Let’s say that your mother in law is mean to you. She makes you feel small and insignificant. Now, if you sit with that feeling, you might recall that you felt that way with a teacher of yours, back in elementary school. That memory will be a representation of the same energy that’s affecting you now, but will give you more information on what the underlying belief is. It’s not that the powerlessness of the past is causing you to have a nasty mother in law, it’s that the belief that was alive back then, is still active in you RIGHT NOW. That’s why it’s manifesting.

If feeling that powerless back then caused you to lash out at someone and be mean to them, as a way of getting relief, it wouldn’t cause today’s manifestation to be any worse, as  way of “punishing” you. Your lashing out would simply have been another manifestation of your powerlessness. You could, of course, cause more resistance in your vibration and add to your negative manifestation by feeling guilt and shame about your behavior caused by the original belief, but any additional negative manifestations would simply be a result of cause and effect. In other words, if you beat up on yourself NOW for something that happened in the past, you will create evidence of that self-flagellation, which doesn’t serve you, NOW.

The truth about consequences

You asked if there are negative consequences for your past actions. I know that this is going to be hard for some people to hear, but there really aren’t. That’s not how the Universe works. When you lash out at someone in pain, and all lashing out comes from a place of fear and/or pain, the Universe doesn’t then come along and compound the problem by punishing you for having been afraid. Retribution is a human concept and not a very effective one. Think about it. If there’s a fire in your barn, and your horse, panicking for its life, ends up busting through the barn door to get out, do you then end up shooting it in the head as punishment for having broken your barn door? Of course not. And yet, that’s what we want to do to each other. And it’s what we expect will be done to us.

But retribution is a concept that is also based on fear – the fear that others can hurt us. We feel powerless against them, and so, we lash out. Retribution has nothing to do with rehabilitation, by the way, which is why our prison systems, which are based on retribution, are actually adding to the problem they are supposed to solve. Remember that powerlessness begets powerlessness, and pain begets pain.

The idea of consequences, as you’re using the word, is based on retribution. But the Universe isn’t set up that way. There is no judgment. It’s more like a computer. Input = output. The output is the consequence of the input. The computer doesn’t add extra consequences to make you feel bad or show you what you did wrong. In fact, doing so, would only serve to punish you for trying to feel better. Considering that the Universe is set up to constantly move you towards that which feels better, punishing you for doing just that would be, well, insane.

And yes, I do understand that many of our current systems are set up that way – our education system, for example. We are punished for getting it wrong, which, in essence, means we are punished for trying to get it right. We are punished for exploring, for delving into the unknown. In an economy whose success depends on those who do just that, that kind of punishment seems, well, downright crazy.

Not getting the output you truly wanted is the negative consequence of doing something that doesn’t serve you. There’s no punishment, no retribution, no lesson other than that you may want to change your input to get a different output.

Bottom line

No, your past actions don’t affect your current manifestations, unless you’re NOW holding on to the beliefs that caused those unwanted actions, or are NOW beating up on yourself for having acted that way. When you change your vibration, you will get instant feedback, via your emotions (which are manifestations!), that you’ve made a change. Most people, however, don’t make a complete change in an instant. They gradually (not slowly! Just incrementally) back off from the old, unwanted belief, causing it’s momentum to slow down, and then build up the wanted belief’s momentum. The physical reality won’t mirror back the new vibration until it’s been fully realized and stabilized. The Universe does not withhold a positive manifestation that you’re NOW a match to, to teach you a lesson. Once again, and I really cannot state this often enough, the Universe is not an asshole. And yes, you can quote me on that.

{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }

Kelli July 7, 2014 at 22:42

Hey Melody
This was such an eye-opening post. I really resonated with the first part particularly about how we hold onto beliefs that don’t serve us, and cause us so much suffering, yet, we are convinced that is the way things should be–like the bad marriage and not speaking up against people older than you because it is ‘disrespectful.’ Fortunately, I never held any beliefs that were super-harmful to my well-being, but merely ones that kept me from reaching my full potential, and living the life I really wanted. But, my study of LOA in particular changed that dramatically. When talking to people who seek my advice about their lives, the one thing I really stress is not looking to the past to determine what is possible for the future–it just doesn’t matter.
Kelli invites you to read..Reader Question: How Can I Use LOA to Find a Job?My Profile

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Jay July 8, 2014 at 00:17

Great article at your site, Kelli! It just so happens I had a job interview today for a decent job, and it seemed to have went well. I think I have a good chance of getting it and am going to use the LoA to help me get it ^ ^. They are interviewing other people, too, and I will find out by the end of this week whether I get it or not. Till then, I will go over your article and some other LoA stuff to hopefully help me align & be a vibrational match for it. Thanks! (I copied and pasted your article to Word for future reference, too) :)

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Kelli July 8, 2014 at 00:20

Hey Jay
Thanks so much..I am so glad you found it helpful! Good luck with your job search…though you really don’t need it do you? :) If you are aligned, the Universe has no choice but to deliver the goods!
Kelli invites you to read..LOA in Action: Tips for Pulling Yourself up the Vibrational LadderMy Profile

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Dominic McKevitt July 8, 2014 at 02:13

Hi Kelli
Nice to meet you here!
Please read my post and I would welcome any advice or comments you can offer please.
Thanking you in advance
DMcK

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Edelweiss July 7, 2014 at 22:46

Fantastic post, and so needed today! Thank you.

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Rose July 8, 2014 at 00:08

Soooooo awesome!!! Melody, thank you so much for being so awesome. I’m super lucky to have read this. I love it and I feel so happy happy right now. :) Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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A_Blindy July 8, 2014 at 00:19

I have been worrying quite a bit about something along these lines.
I am currently wishing to align my energy for something coming up in the somewhat near future. But I am so afraid to actually try to feel better because I am afraid it will not produce results. If I am feeling really great about this thing, then a bunch of crap happens, I fear that I will take a huge painful fall. I will be up at a, say, eight out of ten on this thing, and then I will fall to a two or three. If I am at a one, I have no fear of falling.
It’s really twisted, but they say that the two fears we are actually born with are the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.

Not only that, but I have also been afraid that once I change my vibration, some of the negative momentum could still be going and it will slap me in the face. I will be feeling better, but then the fear would still be bringing me momentum or be buried in my unconscious and I will not get what I want. With this post, is what you’re saying, that I really have no reason to worry about that? In one post, I believe you did say though that your manifestations tomorrow are a result of your vibration today. But if I raise my vibrations, am I automatically slowing down any negative momentum I built up?
If this is the case, then my meta-fear (fear about the effects of my fear) can hopefully be released and I will only have to deal with my fear of falling.
As for this fear of falling, I try to tell myself that when trying anything new, there is a risk of falling. If I never want to fall, I would never try something new, and that is certainly not living fully. It makes me feel a bit better. However, will thinking that falling is a possible consequence of trying new things cause me to well, fall? If so, what is a more useful belief to use?

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okruglica July 8, 2014 at 15:06

dear a_blindly, i really laughed when i read “fear about effects of my fear” part, you described it so well! :D
i am going through a similar state. i do feel scared. but i noticed that those emotions are worsen by my million trillion thoughts when i forget to quiet my mind. and i do forget to do that lately. my world is growing in its beauty and all the gifts that i ordered (yay :D ) and it does make me nervous (like positive nervous, but still nervous, do you know what i mean?) while at the same time i love it so much!
it’s kind of a mix of emotions for me, because at the same time that i am experiencing those fears i feel calm and safe too. i just look to my soul and it is saying that everythings is fine. and i do feel that as well. i just think how much my life has improved, my relationships, my everyday experiences, how much kindness i am receiving, so deep down i am aware that fear is just fear because my brain needs to catch up, and also, the higher i get, the more deep-cored beliefs will arise to be released.
i try to remind myself of that as much as i can because it feels better.
i hope my experience can help you
many hugs :)

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ItisMe July 16, 2014 at 00:39

To Whom It May Concern:

The Realm of the Physical Is a Realm of Duality (i.e. polarity….i.e. complementary opposites) “oscillation”….. which creates the Fuel Source for our continued existence. here on the physical realm.

We are electromagnetic Beings,
Thus realize the Belief Patterns your Encountering were downloaded into your body {and tagged with a label i.e. word } during a phase of “Ignorant development” which resulted in misinterpretation “of who we really are. And although we’ve come to realize we are electromagnetic beings …we are still communicating with the language created during our Ignorant stages of development….Creating Confusion!

Also realize here on the physical realm .you will feel a “low point” [negative
feeling/vibration] in as as much as you experienced the “High Point” [positive feeling /vibration]. For example…. if you raise your vibration up five levels… you will experience a lowering of the vibration five levels…if you raise your vibration two levels you will feel a lowering of your vibration two levels … [i.e. oscillation] the fuel for our continued existence. So it’s best to aim for raising your by the least amount , thus insuring you’ll feel the least amount when it lowers……

Soooo ……Take the Negative Aspect…And .Add the opposite Aspect of it to Neutralize the Energy….(in this case it would be the Positive Aspect of the Negative your judging as such)…..Soooo Take the Negative add the Positive to neutralize the Energy…Then Strip the Energy Vibration of all the tags, labels , words previously attached to it…and.. …VIOLA.. . .You’ve created a Source of fuel (PHOTON carrier of light) ……………. (ENERGY) ……….. from which to tap into or draw upon and/or re-label into a more Harmonious Creation!!!!!!
Works the same way if your feeling overwhelmed….Take the positive aspect and add the negative to neutralize the effect .. and strip of all labels, tags ,you know WORDS……Then .you end up with your very own Storage Unit of Energy … your very own photon,,,to use to tap into the Energy of to re-write, re-direct as you so Intentionally Choose ….P.S… in order to re-direct you ‘ll first have to apply new “labels” to it..to create a connection.
Also Feeling another’s E-Motions (energy -in-motion) is an Indication your still carrying a “pre-written” program at that level of vibration one That is Resonating at the same frequency as they are…..Yes their E-motion Is Yours!!!. So Yaaaa your program at that vibration may not be written ,labeled in the same pattern but your still carrying the resonating factor at that level in order to FEEL Theirs. Don’t want to tune in to that particular frequency anymore in that particular vibe… then RE-WRITE the old program in the above way mentioned. Neutralize the frequency that is picking up on their e-motion by re-writing the program….
One more Thing …”.Energy Vampires” Hmmmm wonder who created this one…lol… The only Energy anyone can TAKE from You is That which you are not aware or conscious of the flow of….It may seem like someone Takes or Steals your energy …. It in fact can be traced to Being UNAWARE of Managing and Consciously Directing your energy flow when Interacting with the External World around you in that particular Moment You notice it in. Although I have to say such interactions are great teachers in practicing feeling your boundaries and learning how to feel your “Own energy flow “…you.. know The FEELING Before “words ” were attached to the vibration of it.
applied…

ItisME

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ItisMe July 16, 2014 at 01:32

Just To Clarify
“Also realize here on the physical realm .you will feel a “low point” [negative
feeling/vibration] in as as much as you experienced the “High Point” [positive feeling /vibration].”

Newton’s third law is:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction

The direction of the force on the first object is opposite to the direction of the force on the second object. Forces always come in pairs – equal and opposite action-reaction force pairs.

Examples of Interaction Force Pairs

A variety of action-reaction force pairs are evident in nature. Consider the propulsion of a fish through the water. A fish uses its fins to push water backwards. But a push on the water will only serve to accelerate the water. Since forces result from mutual interactions, the water must also be pushing the fish forwards, propelling the fish through the water. The size of the force on the water equals the size of the force on the fish; the direction of the force on the water (backwards) is opposite the direction of the force on the fish (forwards). For every action, there is an equal (in size) and opposite (in direction) reaction force. Action-reaction force pairs make it possible for fish to swim.

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Brian F. July 9, 2014 at 05:02

Hey A Blindy,

”I am so afraid to actually try to feel better because I am afraid it will not produce results.”

So you have a limiting belief that says,??

“I prefer to be afraid, and not try, so that way I won’t feel pain and get hurt anymore than I already feel, when I believe it won’t work and produce the results I want.”

Do you want to continue to have this belief???

Or, would you prefer to have a more empowering alternative?

?“I am feeling really great about this thing, then a bunch of crap happens, I fear that I will take a huge painful fall.”

This limiting belief says,

“I don’t trust myself to be okay if I fall.”

Do you want to continue to not trust yourself and not trust in your ability to be able to pick yourself back up??

Or, would you prefer to begin trusting in yourself more?

“Not only that, but I have also been afraid that once I change my vibration, some of the negative momentum could still be going and it will slap me in the face.”

So what?

Who’s hand is doing the slapping?

It could be a strong man’s hand or a little baby’s hand.

Are you afraid of a baby slapping you?

That would be the softest slap you’ve ever felt, ha ha.

“As for this fear of falling, I try to tell myself that when trying anything new, there is a risk of falling. If I never want to fall, I would never try something new, and that is certainly not living fully.”

If you had the fear of falling as a child, you NEVER would have learned how to walk.
You would still be crawling to this day.

??You only learned how to walk because you crawled, tried to stand to walk, fell, tried to stand to walk again, fell again, tried to walk, fell again, and again, and again. But, you never let it stop you. You never judged yourself as stupid or wasting your time for trying to walk when clearly you kept falling. You kept getting back up.

And here you are now, walking like it’s no big deal, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Well, at one point what is so natural and second nature for you to do now, you didn’t know how to do when you were younger. You learned how to do it through falling, through finding your balance.

Without falling, you wouldn’t understand how to find your balance and walk.

So, falling actually helps you to sift through the contrast and define what you want in life and makes you stronger and happier than if you never fell at all.

??Falling is the precursor to greatest, not the hindrance of it.

Here’s a quote by Michael Jordan,

??“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

“However, will thinking that falling is a possible consequence of trying new things cause me to well, fall? If so, what is a more useful belief to use?”

Whatever belief feels good for you to focus on.

All beliefs are valid, so focus on the ones that feel good for you.

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A_Blindy July 9, 2014 at 06:25

Thanks for your response. I am so appreciative of the fact that you were willing to reply to my big, vibrationally icky comment.
You make a great point. I do not trust myself to be able to get up after a big painful fall. I do not trust myself to bounce back up. Thanks for pointing that out to me :-)
I also thought I would clarify something:
The type of falling that children fear isn’t the falling that you might do when you are learning to walk. The falling children fear is falling from heights. When you cannot tell where on earth you are going to land. When you do not know that the most you will fall is to the ground right under your feet. I also might be a bit afraid of failure, and I know I really have to work on that. However, my big giant fear, is falling from an emotional heigh.
So say I was raising my vibration on a topic and I was at an eight out of ten. Then crap happened and I fell to a 1 or 2 out of ten. Ouch.
Sometimes, in my mind, I compare LOA work to jumping from a high height and you do not know what you will fall on. Some people say you will fall on pillows (the LOA teachers) and some warn it’s rocks (skeptics.)
So essentially, I fear that the law of attraction is not real.
I could go on a whole rant about that, but oh boy do I know that this is not the place to even start.
And I certainly respect that.
I will take that somewhere else. :-)
So then why am I here anyway?
Because I want the law of attraction to be real. Because I cling to the hope that it is true.
I am hopelessly in love.
With the law of attraction.
I just fear he? Or she? Oh, it. Is not what everyone here says it is.
Hahahahahahahahahaha. I actually made myself laugh there.

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Brian F. July 9, 2014 at 21:48

Hey A Blindy,

“However, my big giant fear, is falling from an emotional heigh.”

So, let’s magnify that fear to get a closer look.

What is the worst, most terrifying thing that could happen if you were really happy and then dropped down and became depressed?

You already proved to yourself you could get up to happiness, so you can trust in your ability to do it again.

You just need to get up more times than you get knocked down–that’s how you win =)

”So say I was raising my vibration on a topic and I was at an eight out of ten. Then crap happened and I fell to a 1 or 2 out of ten. Ouch.”

It’s okay. No big deal. So you got a little ouchie on your butt from falling.

Just get back up, and you get back to an 8 out of 10 much easier and faster this time around, because you already did it once and you’ve learned some shortcuts to alignment. The second time will be easier and more fun than the first time around because you have a much better idea of what you’re doing and how to be happy.

Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the process.

There is no destination, so you might as well enjoy the journey.

”Some people say you will fall on pillows (the LOA teachers) and some warn it’s rocks (skeptics.)”

Or, sometimes it’s pillows filled with rocks, ha ha.

”So essentially, I fear that the law of attraction is not real.”

That’s okay. That’s a perfectly valid fear.

And you can continue to hold on to that fear if it serves you, or simply release it and replace it with a more empowering belief.

“Because I want the law of attraction to be real. Because I cling to the hope that it is true.”

Then the Law of Attraction will help support that intention, by bringing you signs that it is true.

You could even say, “I want to see, and I appreciate that I am beginning to see signs that the Law of Attraction is true. I appreciate that my belief in the Law of Attraction is becoming stronger every day.”

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Kirra August 21, 2014 at 08:47

Wow Brian F. Do you have an email or blog of some sort? I’m loving your attitude on this, love the perspective.

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Brian August 24, 2014 at 21:12

Hey Kirra,

Currently I do not. But I’m sure there’s a parallel reality version of me who does, ha ha.

If you have any questions or wanted help with anything, feel free to ask =)

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Abueng August 24, 2014 at 19:48

Great replies, Brian F. I’ve had a similar dire-consequences-that-will-irrevocably-destroy-my-life-shall-result-from-my-mistake fear that I’m really making progress on releasing, and seeing the way you rephrased her beliefs really helps to highlight how nonsensical and non-helpful beliefs like that are (even though they same completely rational when we’re stuck in them).
Seeing them in that new way makes it even easier to let go of them.

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Brian F. August 24, 2014 at 21:27

Hey Abueng,

This video can also help. Bashar talks about the structure of limiting beliefs.
This video is part 4, and you can watch to part 7 if you like–it’s very interesting.

Bashar – Brick Walls Beliefs p 04
http://youtu.be/VWkeczoa9vE?t=20s

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Meg July 31, 2014 at 10:30

Hi A_Blindy,

Basically, what you are doing, you are not letting yourself to feel good, because if you do and crap happens, you will feel bad. So “just in case” its better to feel bad from the start. Then you are not giving yourself permission to feel good at all. Why you want whatever you want? I assume, it’s because you want to feel good? So you prefer to “lay low” in fear that if you go higher, you will get back to low (where you are already!). What you really have to lose? It reminds me of my cousin not even trying to get to school he wanted to go “because they may not take him”. Of course they won’t if he doesn’t even apply! Or not buying lottery ticket because you “may not win”… If you don’t try, you will never get it.

LoA will be “bunch of crap” only if you believe it. And if you believe it, the Universe will bring you proofs that you are right. If you stop looking at the “negative event” as at something negative but rather as a sign that you are aligning with whatever it is you want, you may still be annoyed, or sad, or frustrated by whatever happened but it is so much easier to swallow knowing that you are not a random victim but that this event actually is just a step on your way!

“I am hopelessly in love.
With the law of attraction.
I just fear he? Or she? Oh, it. Is not what everyone here says it is.”

Law of attraction is what you MAKE it to be! If you consider it bunch of crap, here you are! If you consider it something true, you are right too. Your truth is created by you…

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Just call me A. July 8, 2014 at 01:45

I needed to read this today!

Along these lines, and taking it a step further, how about people who deliberately make others suffer. I mean, that is their intention. They themselves are obviously in pain and I gather the ones they make suffer are cooperative components? how does one not be a cooperative component? Ignore the situation fully? The universe definitely does not punish because they still get what they want.

I also had this question last week about Joran Van der sloot, who seems to have it all despite being in jail, including a love child, after murdering two women. He was also in pain yet has never since been without money, infamy or a girlfriend, despite what he did wrong in our eyes, but he is still in pain and the universe brings him stuff. I realize I cannot possibly know what is going on there, I am just wondering about how that could be.

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Dominic McKevitt July 8, 2014 at 02:10

Hi Just Call Me
Please read my post here as we have seemingly much the same question!
DMcK

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Dominic McKevitt July 8, 2014 at 01:57

Hi Melody
This is a very interesting post and seems so fitting for me right now.
I believe in the LOA and I am seriously endeavouring to manifest all that I want following the others like you Melody who have successfully achieved this.
I have everything I need, a beautiful home decorated the way I love and a beautiful garden filled with shrubs and flowers in bloom and I am so grateful for all of this and give thanks every day. I am a happy person and try to stay focused on what I want by visualisation and trying to attune my vibration in line of what I want.
However, it is other people where I have the problem because they seem to bring negativity into my life. This causes me great hurt, humiliation, and embarrassment because I feel betrayed by these individuals who are my family and are supposed to be closest to me in life.
Now because of a horrible (for me) incident that occurred last month involving them, I have distanced myself from them but not one of them bothered to come and see me. These are my three sisters and my three children which are adults now. I have been through a messy divorce (8 years now) but my ex still wants to hurt me and to do so she gets others to do her bidding and this is what exactly happened recently on the occasion of my one and only son’s wedding. This great occasion was used by my ex to publicly humiliate me.
So I have two questions for you
1 Have I caused this in any way?
2 Have i done the correct thing by distancing myself from the persons that have caused me to feel this way?
I still feel drained from what occurred and never expected such a travesty to happen so I would really welcome advice and comments on my situation, please.
DMcK

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Just call me A. July 8, 2014 at 02:44

I am sorry about what happened. I have been there myself, in a similar situation with family, so I do understand. It is good that you had distanced yourself to work on your own vibration. You needed that to feel better. I find when I do that and feel better, people again seek me out and things get better with them. If you are vibing high and fel good, then things do not bother you as much. I can attest to this myself.

Melody has spoken about how to deal with people who talk smack about you. you can imagine them really small, like a mouse, so that you can step on them and fling them around. People in your circles won’t believe all the things she says. She cannot defame you, really, as much as she tries of you feel good and keep your vibration. They have spoke against masters, who handled things just that way. By ignoring.

I know family is supposed to love unconditionally, or are they? We expect them to. Maybe the universe only does that as well as your IB. Other people have their own shit to deal with that comes into the picture. Even if you have bad memories about them, those come up because your vibe is low now. If you raise it, that will not happen. The brain is an overactive organ and should serve us instead of causing us grief, so take whatever comes to mind with a grain of salt, thank it for working and move on with other stuff. you will go in and out and eventually raise your vibe. Don’t worry about relapses, they happen.

That is all I have at the moment. I will add to it if anything else strikes me. I hope it helped, at least a little.

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Dominic McKevitt July 8, 2014 at 03:21

Ah thank you so much and I needed to have your reply! Sometimes when things like this happen to me I feel isolated but I do have some great friends who rally around me.
Please keep in touch Oh I don’t know your name?
Kindest Regards
Dominic McKevitt

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A July 8, 2014 at 14:57

Dominic, I have also been in a similar situation, not only with my own family but also with my in laws and recently someone who I thought was a friend. Especially for family, I too had expectations of them in terms of love etc but I am sure that I am not the only one who has not had much of a family and I had to deal with what I got in life. I still had a lot to be grateful for.
For myself I had to accept that I had somehow brought those people into my reality but then I decided that I didn’t have to keep them around. I decided that I would only focus on people and situations and other things that made me feel good and minimise as much as possible contact with those who didn’t. I concentrated on my husband and children and appreciated how lucky I was to have them. If I could cut the people who treated me badly off altogether then I did. Meditating for 20 minutes a day on how I want my life to be helped raise my vibration a lot. Like Just Call Me A, I found that some people rose to my vibration and things resolved, while the others disappeared (but I didn’t really notice because I wasn’t focusing on them, just on good things, so I didn’t miss them either). Just find things to feel good about so you have no time to dwell on the bad stuff, if there is nothing you can do about it, there is no point beating yourself up or dwelling on hurt.

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Brian July 9, 2014 at 05:23

Hey Dominic,

“However, it is other people where I have the problem because they seem to bring negativity into my life.”

Other people can only bring negativity into your life if you receive the negativity they are giving.

”This causes me great hurt, humiliation, and embarrassment.

Replace “causes me” with “I allow myself to feel”.

”1 Have I caused this in any way?”

You are a co-creator.

You can never feel anything without your consent.

So however you feel, you are choosing to feel in response, and the Universe responds with matching what you are focusing on: what you want or what you don’t want.

Whichever has stronger emotion to it, is what you will receive more of because you allow it with your focus to it.

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Dominic McKevitt July 9, 2014 at 07:21

Hi Brian

Thank you for taking time to reply to my post.

I know with what you say about receiving but what I am finding trouble with is that if any person does a bad thing to hurt, humiliate, etc; I will ‘Feel’ whether I am the recipient or not so is this not normal for a human being? When a horrible event occurs EG 9/11 as an extreme example but one which everyone is aware, now, as I looked on at this event I did not stand back and say to my self ‘I am going or not going to consent to feelings caused by this’! Can a person ‘turn themselves off’ to feelings? It is not normal to ‘feel’ with or without consent and what distinguishes us from other living things or am I missing something here? But then it is How we deal with these feelings that is the most important.

So if we are ‘Co-Creators’ did you and I and all Co-Create all the bad events?
Brian, as you can see I am confused and in need of some clarity.
Thanking you sincerely in advance.
Dominic

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Brian July 9, 2014 at 22:09

“if any person does a bad thing to hurt, humiliate, etc; I will ‘Feel’ whether I am the recipient or not so is this not normal for a human being?”

You will feel what you choose to focus on.

If you choose to focus on feeling upset, then you will.

If you choose to focus on feeling good regardless of your conditions, then you will.

To choose to feel negative emotion in response to an unwanted situation, it is normal for a person with conditional happiness, yes.

It is not normal for a person who practices unconditional happiness.

“Can a person ‘turn themselves off’ to feelings?”

You cannot turn off feelings, you can only turn on other feelings.

And everything can be viewed at from a positive perspective or a negative perspective, and you get to choose which you want to experience.

As Bashar says, life is inherently neutral, and you get to choose which meaning you want to give it. So, you can give something a positive or a negative meaning–it is your choice.

“But then it is How we deal with these feelings that is the most important”

You get to choose what you focus on and what you want to feel and how you want to deal with the feelings you are having.

It’s both.

”So if we are ‘Co-Creators’ did you and I and all Co-Create all the bad events?

This is a big question, ha ha.

But, at the very least, I recommend you replace the word “bad” with “unwanted.”

“Bad” can imply judgment, as if something is inferior and not equal.

And “unwanted” allows yourself to understand more objectively what you are attracting into your life or not based on what you are focused on: wanted or unwanted.

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noelle smith July 8, 2014 at 17:35

Great post. However lately I have stopped using the Law of Attraction beacause I fear that if I ask for what I want and try to feel better my biggest and deepest fears will slap me in the face ( also because they have so much momentum behind them)

I understand that these negative manifestations happen to show us where our belief is currently at and I fell like I know exactly what these beliefs are. I just dont want them to manifest.

If anyone could shed some light I would be really really grateful!!!

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Brian July 9, 2014 at 05:29

Hey Noelle,

”lately I have stopped using the Law of Attraction”

Just for clarification, you have stopped consciously using the Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction is always responding to your thoughts and emotions, so if you stop deliberately using it, you are still using it by default.

“I understand that these negative manifestations happen to show us where our belief is currently at and I fell like I know exactly what these beliefs are. I just don’t want them to manifest.”

The only way to not have them manifest is to focus on feeling good and replace your limiting beliefs with more empowering beliefs.

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ItisMe July 16, 2014 at 00:45

Noelle Smith
Try substituting the word “Attraction” with the word “AFFINITY”. Also Google the meaning of Affinity…
ItisME

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ItisMe July 16, 2014 at 01:09

Here’s two examples;
AFFINITY is the mind’s law of attraction, and that we gravitate to where we belong is a truth recognized by proverbs of every country. “Like attracts like,” “Birds of a feather flock together,” “Water finds its own level,” “Show me your company and I’ll tell you what you are,” all have reference to this universal law, for the mind is a magnet and draws to itself all things of like nature. We cannot attract that for which we have no inner response, no more than the needle of the compass can point in any direction except north.
If one attracts undesirable people or uncongenial conditions, he should give himself a careful analysis and find out why he attracts them. Often the cause will not be visible on the surface; its manifestation may greatly surprise him; but somewhere in the subconscious mind the seed was sown and this must be uprooted before any outer change can occur. Changing positions, localities and environments accomplishes naught so long as the inner response remains the same.
http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/lam/lam11.htm

Historically, the concept of there being a known set of the laws of attraction evolved from the laws of affinity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_of_attraction

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MaryN July 10, 2014 at 19:08

Hi this question by Erik got stuck in my mind as I wonder about the same and would love some views and clarity on this, especially the last paragraph. It comes from the blog post “Tell me what you want. What you really want.”

Erik Wik April 22, 2014 at 10:03

This is not easy. I can feel great, have no limiting beliefs but still not manifest a single relevant thing. My reality is exactly the same every day even though I have raised my vibration way higher than before. Obviously I must still have limiting beliefs but I don’t understand what they are since when I visualize what I want I just feel great, there is nothing negative about it.

Another thought: If we can feel great without what we are looking for, why would we need the thing at all when we already feel great? The feeling shuold be enough? We would all be Buddha or the Dalai Lama just sitting around meditating not wanting a single thing in life.

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Phil July 11, 2014 at 15:21

It’s like a seesaw. Push down on one end and other must come up-not as punishment-it just balances. Sure, if your chin is over the end that’s coming up-ouch-so just don’t stand in that spot.

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Abueng August 24, 2014 at 19:52

Another wonderful, wonderful post, Melody. I thought I had a pretty good understanding on this topic, but, as usual, you took it to another level in a super clear way.
Thank you!

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