How To Release Those Big, Nasty, Deep-Seated Beliefs

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by Melody Fletcher on May 22, 2014

 

Awesome Kadi asked the following question in response to Monday’s video blog post: “I found your blog in the beginning of this year I think, so you could call me a new kid on the block. About a week ago I went through the archive to read any and all posts that caught my attention (some are still bookmarked-to-be-read) and in one of them (Screw Smalltalk! 11 Questions That Help You Truly Connect) you mentioned your greatest fear was to regain your previous weight. I don’t want to be rude in any way – I adore you, your writing, and am very thankful of how much you’ve helped me and others – but this brings up a very curious issue: how are some limiting beliefs so strong that even though we can banish them for a while, they still crawl back and affect our lives later on? How do we make peace with them and send them off once and for all?

I understand that some beliefs are multi-layered and therefore need more work; at the same time a lot of the spiritual guides say that it is a mistake to think we need to work on ourselves because all we need to do is realize that we are already ‘perfect’ and then we can release the past. However it doesn’t look as if I can just say: ‘I am willing to release past conditioning’, and poof! it happens. So how to deal with these deeply ingrained conditionings or the past that hold us down and make sure we really have let go of them?”

Dear Awesome Kadi,

Thanks so much for this awesome question. I’m happy to have a chance to give you an update on my own situation, as well as a breakdown of how to tackle those core beliefs that loom so large.

I’ve evolved, yo

One of the great things about having a blog for a few years is that you get to go back and read a full account of where your energy used to be. Your reminder of the Small Talk post gave me the opportunity to do just that. And while most of my answers are still totally relevant today, the resistance I talked about has shifted. In particular, the question on my biggest fear which you pointed out. At the time (January 2012), I stated that my biggest current fear was that I’d gain all my weight back. It wasn’t a huge fear anymore, and was only triggered from time to time, but it was still present. I’ve since released that. I’m no longer afraid of weight gain. I’m also no longer afraid of never losing the weight. In fact, I’m now excited about this challenge (the excitement is, to be fair, a recent development) and where it will take me. My weight has represented so many beliefs and has therefore served me in uncountable ways, how can I not be incredibly grateful for it? And I know it’s still serving me (otherwise it wouldn’t still be around).

I haven’t given up my desire to be thinner, mind you. I’m just no longer letting my weight determine my experience, and I absolutely know that I’m in the process of figuring it out more and more. I KNOW I will get what I want with perfect timing (in fact, I’m getting it), and I’m now having fun along the way. That’s a huge change from where I was in 2012. This new stance has allowed me to get more heavily into doing videos (much more to come on that soon), as well as get serious about live events (NYC, here I come!). In other words, I’m now ready to put myself out there in much bigger ways, without worrying how the shape of my body might impact me (it no longer does). Shit, even just writing this would’ve made me nervous a couple years ago. Now, I’m happy to share.

The anatomy of big, ugly, core beliefs

When it comes to those BIG ISSUES, those huge beliefs that seem to crop up again and again, it’s important to realize that 1.) we’re never just talking about one belief and 2.) beliefs have different layers or aspects.

In your question, you asked how a belief can be so strong that it can crop back up and bite us in the ass (my words), even though we “banished” it (your words). I want to clarify a couple of things: First, we don’t banish beliefs. We simply change our minds and believe something else. It’s like realizing that instead of looking left at a scene that makes you feel nauseous, you can look right at a scene that makes you laugh. It’s basically the equivalent of deliberately moving your head and focusing on what you want instead of what you don’t want. You choose to believe something that serves you, or you choose to believe something you don’t. Of course, in order to make that choice deliberately, it helps to become conscious of those beliefs and that’s what this work is really all about.

Once a belief is released, it doesn’t come back to bite you in the ass. It’s gone forever. HOWEVER, remember what I said about beliefs having aspects? When it comes to bigger beliefs, those core beliefs that have been with us all our lives and often go back generations in our families, you’re never going to be able to just release the whole belief in one go. Trying to do that would cause you go have a mental breakdown. It would affect so much of your identity (ego), that it would cause too great of a change to your reality for your mind to handle. A lot of people will tell me that they want to release their beliefs faster, but then, in the next breath, complain about their current pace being too uncomfortable. If they were to go faster, they’d be even more uncomfortable. There’s a lot of value in going incrementally.

The ego hates change

This discomfort comes from the fear that arises when we make changes. Basically, when you change the way you see yourself and how you fit into the world, you’ll have to go through a period of discovery of who you are now. You get to choose a new perspective, one that serves you better. And while this may sound fun, and it can be, it’s usually incredibly stressful for people, particularly if they don’t have a lot of practice choosing their identity deliberately. Let’s face it, most of us didn’t grow up being encouraged to be ourselves in all our weird and wonderful glory. We were told, sometimes subtly, sometimes not so subtly, to conform, to fit into some predetermined boxes, to take on the definitions and identities of those who came before us. This left us with very little room for individuality, never mind going completely off the rails and becoming fully Who We Really Are.

When you let go of a fundamental belief such as “I’m not good enough”, you also shift all the other beliefs that were based on that one; let’s call them child beliefs. So, you’ll shift how you show up in the world in pretty much all situations; your job, your relationships, your self-talk, etc. And in each of these situations, you’ll now have to figure out how to behave, how to react, what your opinion actually is. When you’re used to running on autopilot, this can seem like an awful lot of work. I’ll give you a trick to making this way less stressful in a minute, but for now, realize that if you tried to tackle all of these situations at once, by fully releasing the core belief in one go, you’d pretty much be overwhelmed by your lack of identity and the need to create a new one. It’s a hell of a lot easier to release the belief one situation, or aspect, at a time (each situation represents a different aspect of the belief, and different child beliefs).

How long is this supposed to take?!

And yes, this can take time. In fact, when it comes to the really big, core issues, it can take a life time. These large and lovely beliefs usually represent one of the main themes we came here to explore. But, before you panic, don’t worry, this doesn’t mean that you have to suffer your entire life. You can explore an issue from the negative side (“I’m poor and I hate it”), or from the positive side (“My direct experience of poverty has given me an appreciation of wealth I wouldn’t have otherwise had.”) And before you try and cry bullshit, that it’s not possible to make peace with an issue to the point where it actually becomes a positive in your life, let me point out that you do this all the time when you realize that something you thought was annoying actually served you. It just seems harder to make that shift in perspective when it comes to our big issues. That’s actually the challenge.

You haven’t gone backwards

So, when you think that an old belief has come back up again (“Goddammit!”), it’s actually just a new aspect of that belief that’s come to light. And this is a good sign. When obstacles pop up, it’s always a sign of forward movement. As you move down the path to Who You Really Are, you will bump into the blockages that are keeping you from going further (which is what makes you aware of them). If you weren’t moving forward, if you weren’t making progress, those blockages or limiting beliefs wouldn’t be coming up. You’re never ever moving backwards. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and try to adopt a belief that you’ve fully released. Think about it. It will seem ridiculous to you and no part of you will accept it (like trying to make yourself believe the world is flat). You can’t go back. It’s the same for aspects of a belief you’ve released. So, a core belief may come up again and again, but each event will represent a different aspect.

Is it a mistake to work on ourselves?

And now, to the second part of your question. I’ve personally never had a guide tell me that it was a mistake to work on myself, however, I may have a different definition of this whole process than others. Of course, at our core, we are perfection. In fact, we can’t not be perfect. We are perfectly perfect even in our imperfection (and I realize this can be a hard pill to swallow, but I’ll need to explore this in a separate blog post; it’s too big an issue to cover in a tangent). When I talk about “working on ourselves” or “doing the work”, what I mean is “become more of Who We Really Are”. This doesn’t have to be work, but again, we humans tend to freak out a little when change happens, so it can seem like a lot more effort than it needs to be. We are not changing Who We Really Are, we are dropping all those parts of ourselves that aren’t Who We Really Are. We are becoming fully ourselves. Our work is to identify how and where we are not yet fully doing that, and drop the fakery.

Can we fully release our past?

This question was actually answered in the blog post Can We Use LOA To Release The Past?

Making change less stressful

Ok, so I promised to give you a technique to make those changes to your identity or ego way less stressful, so you can move through the releasing process a bit faster (or just more easily). Again, remember that the stress comes from the freak out we experience when we are no longer sure of who we are, as demonstrated in how we act and react in certain situations. Whereas before a shift, you may have known that you don’t like crowds, or can’t stand country music, or would never go out with a guy shorter than you, a massive shift in a core belief may leave you moving towards crowds, going line dancing or suddenly being attracted to shorties. When someone asks you how you feel about something, you’ll need to think about it first. The old answers just won’t apply anymore. This can lead you to feel like you have to think about everything (no more autopilot), and worse, the disorienting feeling of not knowing who you are. I addressed this temporary state to some degree in the blog post Managing the Void: When You Seem to Feel Nothing.

When you, however, recognize what is happening, that you’ve made a major shift in how you see yourself and the world, you can make the whole process of discovering your new identity (or actually, remembering more of your real identity) a whole lot less gruesome. Here’s how (keep in mind that this is kind of an advanced technique, as it requires a fairly large amount of trust):

Stop needing to know who you are in every moment and make peace with the act of discovering yourself over and over again. Basically, you have to let go of the safety net of having all your responses and opinions pre-determined. If you’re able to go into each situation with the attitude of “Hmmm, I wonder what my reaction to that will be?”, you’ll turn that stress into fun.

Let me give you an example: I often have no idea why I am where I am. If my intuition tells me to go do something, I do it. I don’t question her anymore. So, there I am, having no clue as to what’s about to happen, but knowing (trusting) that it’s going to be good (fun and of some benefit to me). I’m just wide open to whatever’s going to happen. When something does happen, I allow myself to respond in whatever way I naturally do, and I observe my response. In other words, I don’t need to know what my response will be before I allow it. This is where the trust comes in. I can’t be afraid that I’ll make a fool of myself, that I’ll say something inappropriate or that I’ll look stupid. I can’t worry about offending others or doing something wrong. I just have to allow my reaction, whatever it is, and know that it will be perfect for all concerned (how other people react to my reaction is their shit, not mine, and I trust that it ALWAYS serves them).

Often, my reaction will be different than it’s ever been before in similar situations, due to some releasing work I’ve done. In fact, when I’ve done deep, energetic work (meaning, I released without being intellectually aware of what I was releasing), it’s only through my new reactions to experiences that I figure out what has actually changed. So yes, this technique requires a higher level of trust, as well as a healthy dose of “I don’t care what others think of me”, but when you’re able to adopt it, it’ll make the whole process of releasing huge, core beliefs and the subsequent discovery of the real self a huge adventure instead of a huge hassle. :)

 

{ 35 comments }

Lorraine May 22, 2014 at 19:31

WOW. I just love ya xxxx

Bernie May 22, 2014 at 21:19

Hi Melody
I’m laughing and doing a happy dance at this one, it pretty much echos a session I had with an amazing woman today, forwarding it now ! TRUST is key! love it:)

Solace May 22, 2014 at 21:20

Hey Melody,
I know this is a late comment but from what i could see in your london pics…u lit up the room with your smile…what a gorgeous smile and here i thought mine was the best(me being a libra ;) )
Anywho…love this post…i no longer feel afraid of anything after our coaching call and have been also slowly applying your techniques…i keep thinking no one can be that perfect when i look at you and then i realise well of course she can be coz i am perfect too…with all my imperfections…thank you soooo much for helping me realise that every day.

Just call me A. May 22, 2014 at 23:03

Awesome!

“When obstacles pop up, it’s always a sign of forward movement”- must remember this always.

Denise May 24, 2014 at 00:07

Yes…me too! Love this!

will May 22, 2014 at 23:50

The call to adventure!

Za May 23, 2014 at 00:34

Hi,
I have become a regular reader of your blog. Did you explain somewhere in your former posts (which I havent finished exploring) why so much of your talk sounded similar to what a lot of Buddhists explain? I know, I know…labeling isnt very interesting , but I had this question for a while…Each time I read you, I am so surprised ..to feel like the words of the Buddha are coming out of your mouth.

Za May 23, 2014 at 01:16

By the way, I am reading you from ….France. Do you know from how many different places in the world people are reading you?!!! I am amazed by your “radiance” , and by the magical effect of the internet that seems to propels your light far over the sees and the continents up into so many unlinked anonymous homes. It’s really an amazing blog. Thank you for sharing your wisdom so warmly to everyone on earth.

Nat May 23, 2014 at 11:37

I feel the same!

Simstar June 12, 2014 at 07:35

Australia here. I’m amazed by you too Melody

Judy May 23, 2014 at 01:25

Perfect timing, as always. In the last few months my life has been expanding at lightning speed. Thoughts would create instant manifestations, right in the direction I wanted them to go. Then I hit a brick wall, and manifested the worst possible scenario, even though it was exactly what I had asked for. Just not the way I wanted it to manifest. I felt panic to a degree, certainly anger, and fear. I quickly remembered who I really am and was able to change the way I’m perceiving it, and actually having fun with most of it. But I’ve wobbled here and there, forgetting at times how much I’m actually zooming ahead again by this experience. It’s so good to have you and others as my own cheering section to remind me that it really is all forward movement and to stop blocking all the awesome things that are in front of me, by trusting what I know to be true no matter what it appears to look like through my ego eyes.
This post has put me back on solid non physical ground, and I appreciate you so very much for the support right when I needed it.

Jillian May 23, 2014 at 16:50

This post (somewhat)clarified for me my deep-seated confusion about deep-seated beliefs! There seems to be different schools of thought in LOA-land re: whether or not subconscious beliefs play a part in all of this. Abraham says that they do not, since we manifest and attract using only our “active” vibrations, while others contend that our deep-rooted boo-boo’s do in fact inform our thoughts, which in turn create our emotions. But, then, thoughts themselves are manifestations, no? Sooo, our feelings (vibrations) determine our thoughts, which perpetuate our emotions. Is that right? It’s mostly a matter of what our “default” (for lack of a better word) vibration is, then?
Is a vicious (or, as i chose to see it, wonderous, cycle, as we continue to expand eternally. also, anything and everything that fosters expansion is always in line with our source energy/higher selves/whateveryouwannacallit, lol. In other words, we can never be wrong. the only way to be wrong is to consider your current situation (which is really based on your past vibration, and therefore has a built-in obsolence) “wrong” and attempt to “fix” or “overcome” it. we are not creating per se, so much as allowing, via the releasing of resistance. excellent post! it certainly resonated with me :o ) thanks!

Alex S. May 23, 2014 at 23:03

Hi, Melody. I’m a new reader and I must admit, I’m not really sure what LOA is and I haven’t read your other posts yet. I just want to say though, that this post really speaks to me. There were some points I already knew, there were some I needed to be reminded of, and there were some that were new to me altogether.

Kelli May 24, 2014 at 09:31

Hey Melody
Love this post so much..I have been thinking a lot about this topic recently–actually since right around the time you published another post awhile ago about limiting beliefs and simply being able to identify them in the form of resistance that comes up when you think about what you want. You are so right about the ego hating change, and how most of us weren’t fortunate enough to be encouraged to be whoever we wanted in our earlier years. i think this post will cause a lot of major breakthroughs!
Kelli invites you to read..Feeling Challenged by Your Efforts to Change? 3 Tips for a Smoother RideMy Profile

Summer Starr May 24, 2014 at 17:34

You were right! This blog post ties in a lot with our call earlier. I’m glad I finally got to read this with no distractions around me. :)

I’m finally beginning to realize just how simple this process really is. I was making it way more complicated than it needed to be (which I guess that’s just what you do when you try to intellectualize EVERYTHING). Being intellectual definitely has its place, but this work isn’t it.

It’s almost like laying down in waist deep water and panicking because you feel like you’re going to drown. Well all you have to do is stand up and you won’t be drowning anymore. It really is that simple! :)
Summer Starr invites you to read..3 simple steps to uncovering hidden resistanceMy Profile

Mandy May 24, 2014 at 22:18

I just read all the comments and I don’t understand the happy tone present in all of them when all I can think about after reading the post is this sentence:

“In fact, when it comes to the really big, core issues, it can take a life time.”

Really, now? Did no one else pay attention to the phrase in the post? How can you all be so happy? I felt my heart actually drop to my stomach and all my hope vanish after reading this simple phase. What happened to the info in the old posts which said we could have what we want and it doesn’t have to take long? I’m really sorry to say this, but all this LoA information Melody has been writing lately has been really confusing to me. In the old posts we can get what we want quickly, in the new posts it says it will take a lifetime to come; in one old post we can get the actual STUFF we want, in a recent post we can only get the feeling behind the wish, but not the material wish itself. I just don’t get it anymore. I used to come here cause the posts gave me hope that my life can change quickly but lately after reading this new posts I just feel like crying and giving up, cause it seems like I’m just basically screwed.

Let me get this straight: What is actually attainable for a person who has had a bad condition in their lives since they were a kid? Let’s say, a person who was born in a family with financial difficulties and acquired bad money beliefs from their parents. People like this will have to spend a lifetime having little money and little to no success since lifelong beliefs will take a lifetime to solve? Or having significant money and success only come painfully slowly? If our stuff can only come after one lifetime of working on ourselves (I’m not ok with that, it will be too late!!) then we can’t really get what we want, it’s all just a copout. I sincerely hope I just misunderstood the post and my above interpretation of the post is wrong. Otherwise, I don’t see the point in using the LoA if my stuff will only come after I’m too old.

H. May 26, 2014 at 07:29

Dear Mandi,

It CAN take a lifetime. Not it WILL. However the main point here is that some things deep-seated PROBABLY for most (if not all) people won’t be as easy as the others, so the perspective here is on evolving, and then gradually things getting better. It’s like building up and slowly learning to receive more and more awesomeness.

I have been evolving on a lot of things. I recognize some beliefs are not fully overcome, but in the process I attracted amazing experiences.

The way I perceive it, after Melody lost weight she made peace and felt love towards her past version, that was struggling and discovering herself. Now she regained more weight and she is seeing it as a chance to discover the same absolute confidence and sense of beauty in a bigger body (also overcoming smaller limiting beliefs on aesthetics and feeling worthy), even though she still likes/wants the thinner image. It’s a process of completely making peace with things and the weight came back so that Melody has a chance to fully enjoy feeling as beautiful and praised as when she was thinner. And mind that it came back in a moment where she was perfectly capable of dealing and making the best of it.

I do think she looks gorgeous and that she is probably rocking those new curves in Barcelona.

All the best to you! Hugs.

SK May 26, 2014 at 08:54

Here’s my take on it.
Part 1:
when you are born, you have your eyes and your default “happy” pair of glasses (kids are automatically happy for no reason at all). your parent/family will do their best to prepare you for the world, so they copy what they learned and paste it on top of your glasses. They are doing this with the best intentions and pure love. This is the best way they know how. Your relatives will add some of their version onto yours as well. So now you have 3 layers. When you go to school, you have another. When you have best friends, you are copying them a little, so now you have 5. TV/Social media adds another layer. If you are lucky enough to expose yourself to nature, you have the 7th layer.
LOA is just another way of looking at the world. If you adapt it, it will be your 8th layer.
general LOA = like attracts like
Melody’s LOA = you get more of what you focus on.

Part 2:
You don’t have to build your life around LOA like you don’t build your life around gravity. It’s just there. LOA works automatically whether you know about it and it’s a goalless process.

we are an emotional being first and logical being second.
1. something happened
2. HOW you respond to what happened that make your sad or happy – it’s a matter of the heart. It’s a feeling.
3. Once your heart decided to feel positive or negative, your mind kicks in second. It will start looking for evidences to prove how you feel is right – it always does. You mind builds a support network for how you feel.
4. LOA kicks in third. It attracts stuff similar to what your heart and mind are asking for and put them into boxes.
5. you take physical actions to receive the LOA delivery.
Or alternatively you can physically make/obtain what you want yourself.
6. after you receive the stuff, you heart will update how it feel and the process repeats.

Actions is where it’s at. If you know what you are doing, you can ignore LOA and still have the result you want.
Feelings can only get you all fired up and show you where to go.

Summer Starr May 26, 2014 at 18:49

Hi Mandi,

Here is how I perceived this and why this makes me happy. :)

There are some beliefs that we are able to clear quickly and yet some beliefs do have layers and can take a lifetime to clear out.

But just because you have not cleared ALL of your “hang ups” or unwanted beliefs on a subject, doesn’t mean that you can’t still manifest in that area.

I will use money, since that is the example you used AND something that I am always actively working on in my life currently.

My family’s financial situation was never really dire. We were never homeless or anything, but we were the “lower” middle class family who always made “just enough”. Just enough to not lose our home. Just enough to pay the bills. Every once in a blue moon we could afford a vacation, but that wasn’t often. I grew up believing that if you become rich, you will become an asshole. I grew up believing that rich people were bad and that they stepped on the “little people” to get where they are. In other words, I grew up with a lot of negative beliefs about money.

My current money situation is not where I want it to be for the rest of my life, that’s for sure. But I have peace knowing that I am shedding my unwanted beliefs about money one by one and I had actually been doing this work before I found this site (i just didn’t know it yet :) ). Years ago, my situation used to be so dire that I would have to choose between putting gas in my tank and food in my belly.

I have been shedding my money beliefs one at time over the past few years. “Money is scarce” is one of them. Then after that, you might shed the unwanted belief that “Rich people are jerks.” Then after that, you might shed the belief that “Having money will turn YOU into a jerk.”

I understand now why this should be done incrementally and it really does depend on how diligent and stubborn you are about staying positive around the subject of money. Something that helps me is to show gratitude while paying my bills. Whenever I send off a check to pay a bill, I don’t feel bitter about having to pay the bill. I think about whatever it is that I’m paying for and how grateful I am for it. Like, when I pay the electric bill, I feel grateful for it because it sucks when you have no power. When you start practicing this, money will start coming to you in the most unexpected places (I have seen this personally in my own life). It’s amazing. Now it may take you some time to get to that place and that’s okay. It has taken me years to get there. But when you really think about it, isn’t it worth the work to be able to do this one day? To be able to pay your bills with gratitude, instead of dread?

Like I said, I still work my day job. I still have my same salary, but oddly enough, since I have began doing this work deliberately, it seems that money for some of my smaller wants is just showing up in the craziest places and I am STILL managing to get a lot of the things I want. I’m still working on my money vibration yes. But I don’t think that a belief has to be TOTALLY gone from your psyche before you can start seeing positive manifestations in that particular area. At least that has not been my experience at all.

I hope that was helpful (and not too much rambling :) ) and gives you some peace.

Best of luck to you. :)
Summer Starr invites you to read..3 simple steps to uncovering hidden resistanceMy Profile

Caroline May 26, 2014 at 22:49

I get what your saying Mandy, and I would love to hear Melody’s take on it.

However, I always try to remember that every person’s perspective is different. Melody communicates what her spirit guides say to her using her own filters, her own view of the world. And so should everyone. Melody is obviously vibrating at a high frequency, which many of us have yet to attain. This is why her information is so helpful and useful to us, we are gaining insights via her that we may not be able to access on our own at our current vibrations. However if you were to access that frequency someday, your interpretation probably wouldn’t be the same as Melody’s or anyone else’s.

I guess what I’m saying is a particular perspective doesn’t feel good to you (which this one clearly you doesn’t), find an alternative that does. The whole point of all of this is to do what feels good to you at this moment. I’m no way qualified or experienced enough to be imparting this kind of advice, but it definitely works for me :-)

SK May 26, 2014 at 06:18

Melody mentions in the post she has evolved thanks to LOA.

I am curious to know what Evolution means to you.

Kirri May 26, 2014 at 16:58

This post just came exactly right on time. I kept thinking: Yes Universe, I KNOW that limiting belief. In my case, my belief is ‘I’m not good enough (and never will be, of course)’. But I am working on it, ‘kay? No need to keep slapping me in the face with it, I know it is there. Can’t you just see I’m already working on it, dear U? Your blog just reminded me again that even though the manifestations I receive do not feel awesome they are here to serve me, and even show me that I have made progress.

Thanks Melody, I’m off to kicking some limiting beliefs-butts!

Brian F. May 27, 2014 at 01:00

Hey Kirri,

“Yes Universe, I KNOW that limiting belief. In my case, my belief is ‘I’m not good enough (and never will be, of course)’.”

We only have a belief because it serves us and benefits us in some way.

So . . .

Why does that belief serve you?

What do you gain by having that belief?

Why do you feel safer, and/or at some level feel better, by having the limiting belief that you are not good enough?

Kirri May 27, 2014 at 16:53

Talking about manifestations…
Your questions have hit home, had a little mind=blown moment. I do not know the answers (fully) yet, but I will definately be working on them. For now, all I can say is that it gives me some sort of comfort, or an excuse maybe. Stating that I do some things because I have that belief. Like ‘I am reacting like this because it triggers my fear that I am not good enough’. And, as Melody already stated, it gave me a little identity crisis. If I have to let that believe go, who will I be?

Brian F. May 27, 2014 at 18:43

Hey Kirri,

“I do not know the answers (fully) yet, but I will definitely be working on them. For now, all I can say is that it gives me some sort of comfort, or an excuse maybe.”

Starting to think about it, and having a realization (that you didn’t have 24 hours ago) of why it has benefited you, helps create the crack in consciousness that will begin to open the awareness of why you have held on to the belief, and thus help you to be able to replace it with another, more empowering belief that serves you even more beneficially than your old beliefs did.

”Stating that I do some things because I have that belief. Like ‘I am reacting like this because it triggers my fear that I am not good enough’.”

Do you feel it helps ease you into a state of not needing to take responsibility for your emotions?

Such as, “I can’t help but feel that way because I don’t feel good enough. I’m justified in feeling angry, upset, etc. I feel powerless not because I choose to, but because I don’t feel worthy, so I don’t have to change.”

Your limiting belief empowers you in some way. Possibly to enable your feeling of powerlessness to control your life, and thus preventing you from taking full responsibility for how you think and feel?

Does knowing you are the creator of your reality overwhelm you?

Are you uncertain of what to do with that much control and power over yourself and your life?

Do you know what you want? And if you are unsure, does it feel easier to limit yourself, saying that you can’t do or have what you want because you feel unworthy? Possibly that it’s a convenient cop out to protract yourself from facing the fact you aren’t sure what you want to do with your life? (Which it’s perfectly okay if you don’t.)

I am not sure if any of these questions ring true or not, I am merely trying to help you by raising these questions, and seeing if any of them hit home to help raise your self-awareness and empower you.

“And, as Melody already stated, it gave me a little identity crisis. If I have to let that belief go, who will I be?”

A more empowered, passionate, fun, loving, authentic, better feeling You.

Arianna May 31, 2014 at 16:23

This little break down was very helpful! thanks

Emma May 27, 2014 at 17:31

Great conversations here in the comments as well as a grrrreat blog post!

But my question is… How do i find these limiting beliefs? I don´t think men are pigs or that I´m unworty for example. Du you guys have any examples of other limiting beliefs about ourselves and the world that might hold a person back?

Thanx guys and amazing Melody!

Brian F. May 27, 2014 at 19:17

Hey Emma,

How do i find these limiting beliefs?

When you feel negative emotion, you are focusing on a limiting belief.

So to find out what, if any, limiting beliefs you have, simply pay attention to how you feel throughout the day.

If you keep feeling negative emotion regarding the same or similar subject/person, then you know you have a limiting belief about said subject or person, otherwise you would feel positive emotion about them.

Any belief that does not feel good when you focus on and think about it, is a limiting belief. Because, you’re focusing on something your Higher Self does not focus on, which is lack or limitations.

When you focus on abundance and unlimited possibilities and potential, you are aligned with your Higher Self because you are focusing on unlimited, empowering beliefs, and so you feel positive emotion.

Emma May 27, 2014 at 20:14

Ahaa I see, thank you Brian for your response!
So, if I think about my bodyweight and feel really bad, then I have a limiting belief about the weight, or my body? How can I resolve that?

Brian F. May 28, 2014 at 01:44

Hey Emma,

“So, if I think about my bodyweight and feel really bad, then I have a limiting belief about the weight, or my body?”

Yes.

“How can I resolve that?”

By soothing yourself into a place of becoming more accepting to your body, and love and appreciation for all the wonderful things it does for you. Such as…

“I appreciate that my body has healthy lungs so I can breathe 24/7.”

“I appreciate that my heart beats all the time so I can stay alive.”

“I appreciate that my body does so many wonderful things without me having to think about it.”

“Like, when I put food in and swallow, my body takes care of the rest. It digests it, takes the proper nutrients out and discards the rest and turns it into #2 effortlessly, without me even needing to be aware of or consciously do any of it.”

“My body is amazing!”

“My body is a gift. And it does it’s best to take care of me, despite how I treat it.
No matter what, it always loves me unconditionally.”

You would feel negative emotion because you are focusing on the one thing you don’t like about your body, and acting as if that is the ONLY thing your body is “good” for. And all that matters and/or is deserving of your attention is what’s “wrong” with your body and how unworthy you perceive/judge it is in your eyes.

But, the body does a million things you don’t give your attention to or give it credit for, and it just wants to feel loved, validated and appreciated as much as you do.

When you view your body as another person, as a best friend, you shift your mindset on how you talk to them.

You begin viewing them with a lot more love and respect, as if you were talking to a friend you really cared about and took their feelings into account.

Arianna May 30, 2014 at 18:01

God Damnit. I love this post so freakin much. You are inspiring to no end.

Rose June 4, 2014 at 21:51

Just so amazing! I almost died thinking I was gravitating out of your reality Melody because I didn’t get a chance to read it earlier but here I am and so proud of myself I made it! :-) Thank you so much for being a superstar!!!!

Kadi June 10, 2014 at 14:34

Hi Melody,

Thank you so much for answering my question(s)!!!! I feel the same as most, there are times when LOA seems so simple and logical, and yet at other times I am sooo confused and nothing makes sense. You’ve helped it become much clearer though.

I get that an unwanted event is actually serving us in some way..but NOW the case is that I find myself being AFRAID of how my next limiting belief/layer of it might present itself! I want to be in the moment and try to be authentic in every situation, but in the back of my head the idea, the anxiety is still present. Even though at a deeper level an unwanted event is serving, in everyday life it still makes me anxious because it causes pain of some sort – things breaking, failing, arguments happening etc.

But I’m happy I’m evolving. It’s just another step on the way :)

Blessings!

Kirri June 20, 2014 at 20:11

^ @ Kadi: late response, I know, but I have the same feeling as you: I’m afraid of how my next limiting belief is going to show up. Recently, I have had a ‘rough’ time at my internship (which is over within a week, thank goodness) and it makes me anxious about how the next limiting belief will show up. Good thing Melody covered the application of LOA in a recent video, because I learned the past couple of months that it can be hard to focus positively when there is something that is that challenging.

noelle smith June 24, 2014 at 23:33

I came here to say that exact same thing @Mandy but you beat me to it. I read this post weeks ago and still couldn’t get that one line out of my head. My heart too dropped. Thanks for the replies adn explanations. Really helps me understand it much better.

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