Coaching Call #100 is out!!!! Yay!!!!! The topic of this epic, anniversary call is: She Wants to Lose Weight
The call you’ve been waiting for!! Yep, I finally managed to record a call about weight loss!! And here it is:
This client has had a dysfunctional relationship with food for years. She feels that she’s tried everything, including intuitive eating (which didn’t go well, and you’ll find out why), but nothing seems to help. Listen in as I first explain the basics around why our current dieting mentality doesn’t work (it’s based on a false premise), and then dig into why this particular client has been carrying around extra weight. I have to warn you, I was only able to cover the basics, and get her started on her journey (there’s only so much you can do in one hour), but this call contains enough information to keep your head spinning for some time.
Awesome Becky’s Burning Question: “Have you heard of the Tapping Solution – where you tap on your meridian points to help you release your negative beliefs? I’ve released some pretty awesome stuff, but it can be emotionally tiring! I was wondering what your take on it was from your happy shiny LOA puppy perspective.”
Dear Awesome Becky,
Here’s your video answer!
Watch the video directly on Youtube: http://youtu.be/XDIiIfwmNys
For the Readers amongst you…
Now, for anyone who doesn’t know what Awesome Becky is talking about, another name for tapping is “EFT”, or Emotional Freedom Technique, for example. There are also other names for it. Basically, you find meridian points on your face, neck and hands and tap on them, like acupuncture points. They supposedly open up the energy and allow you to release limiting beliefs.
I personally don’t use this particular tool to shift my energy, but I do have some experience with it, and I do think it CAN BE an excellent tool for growth. The reason why I say that it “can be”, is because you can never make any tool responsible for your growth, or state that THIS is the tool that will help everyone. There is no one tool that will help everybody. But if you are drawn to a certain tool, that means that AT THIS TIME, for you, that tool may very well work. It may not always work for you and it may not continue to work forever. It’s always still up to you to use your intuition to see what tools you’re being drawn to in each and every moment.
Watching a Master at work
That being said, I had the great pleasure of seeing EFT used properly by a Master practitioner, and I was able to observe the energy shifting and what caused it to shift. So, here’s my personal opinion on what’s happening when someone is using EFT. The important thing is that it’s used properly. The first time that I heard about EFT, someone was explaining and showing it to me and I really didn’t get anything from it. I felt nothing and nothing happened. This was because the person was making the tapping itself responsible for the shift and didn’t realize that there was much more to it. Thankfully, as I said, I was exposed to and was able to witness someone doing it properly and to get a better understanding of it.
Now, the important thing with EFT is not so much the tapping. To me, the tapping is really a permission slip that people use to get the mind out of the way and let the energy work happen. The problem is that the tapping, in and of itself, isn’t going to cause that change. You have to use it in conjunction with forming the right statements. If you’re not using just the right statements, you’re not going to be connecting with the right energy, and you’re not going to be releasing anything.
So, when I was able to observe this EFT master, I saw that she very intuitively (like any energy healer) zeroed right in on those beliefs.
EFT in Action
First, she got the person to state the negative belief. She got the person to admit where they were (emotionally). In any energy work, if you’re not willing to acknowledge where you are, you’re not going to be able to shift that. People who have worked with addiction, for example, know that a large part of the healing comes from the person simply admitting that they have a problem. It’s paramount to any healing technique that the person admits how they truly feel. They say “I’m not happy here. I hate my job”. Then you’d ask yourself, how you feel about that (dig deeper). You might answer: “It makes me angry.”
State how you feel
The practitioner got the clients to state, with as much precision as possible, how they were feeling, and to connect with the feeling of what was really going on. This is something that a lot of people will not allow themselves to do, because, in their mind or belief system, admitting how they truly feel is going to be painful. They believe that there’s nothing they can do about it anyway, and so there’s no point in harping on about how they don’t like where they are. They might as well just gloss over it and shove it aside and say, “I’m fine! It’s fine here! I don’t really mind it that much”, when really, inside, they’re dying a little every time they go to work. You first have to admit that you don’t feel good, how it is that you’re really feeling and that you don’t like the situation.
Work your way up the ladder incrementally
Second, the practitioner, got the person to incrementally choose statements that moved them up the vibrational ladder. This means that they made statements that were, at first, quite negative sounding, but were more positive to them than the original statement. Over time, they changed those statements to ever more positive ones until they finally named how they really wanted to feel.
All this time, they were confirming that there was no judgment against these negative beliefs. For example, if you say “I hate myself”, in EFT, they’ll ask you to state “Even though I hate myself, I fully and completely accept myself.” This causes you to take on the perspective that it’s ok for you to feel the way you feel. Not only are you acknowledging how you feel, but you’re also taking the judgment out of it and saying “It’s ok for me to be where I am”, “It’s ok for me to feel this way”, or “It’s ok for me to be in this situation.” Simply acknowledging how you feel without judgment will already cause a really big shift in many cases. You can get tremendous amounts of relief from just saying the words “This is how I feel. I don’t feel good about this. I hate this. I don’t like this.” A lot of the time, people will already start releasing right then. Just saying the words will get them to break out in tears.
Focus on what you want
The next thing the practitioner did was to take the person incrementally up the Vibrational Ladder, by helping them find the perfect words to describe where they wanted to go, what their actual desire was (naming their desire), and getting them to focus on that. They then built a bridge from where they were to where they wanted to go. They found the perfect words so that each statement felt better and better.
The process is the same as always…
From my point of view, this was just like any other healing technique. The power in EFT, for me (and I’m really sorry EFT aficionados, I don’t mean to step on anyone’s toes), is not in the tapping. I think the tapping helps, and that it’s a permission slip; tapping is something you can believe in (it feels like you’re “doing something”, which can be helpful to many people). People understand, “Oh, I tap. There are the meridians. This is going to help me.” But from my point of view, even though this can be beneficial to someone who believes it is, the real benefit came from naming the issues connected with the energy and moving it up. The tapping, for me, was really secondary.
If you’re drawn to tapping, go ahead. I’m not trying to discourage you from it. What I’m saying is that the tapping alone isn’t going to do it. You have to choose the right statements. If it’s not working for you even though you’re drawn to it, then the problem is probably that you’re not choosing the right statements. I would highly recommend that you go work with a really talented practitioner who has a long history of helping people, and who can intuitively help you choose the right statements.
If you’re not drawn to tapping, then don’t worry about it. There are many other healing techniques out there.