Why Do Things Go To Hell When We Start Using LOA? (Expectations)

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by Melody Fletcher on March 31, 2014

Coaching Call #094 is out! The topic if this week’s call is: Why Does She Keep Attracting Men Who Are Unavailable In Some Way?

An emotionally abusive relationship in this caller’s past has left her feeling unworthy and attracting only to men who aren’t available in some way. I have to be honest, this is a VERY female centric call. We dissect so many of the common beliefs that women in our society hold. Listen in as we talk about finding the balance between playing games and coming off as needy, dissect the belief that your weight is sabotaging your relationship success, and most importantly, how to set proper standards.

What does it mean when men don’t call back? What about when your boyfriend insists on keeping track of each penny he spent on you? At what point are you too old to attract love? And why do some women change from normal, intelligent human beings into raving lunatics the second a good looking man comes around (and what to do about that…). Ladies, if you’re single and “looking”, this call is for you.

Read the full Call Summary here.

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Awesome Dudette’s Burning Question: “Why do things go horribly wrong when starting to use LOA? This has always happened to me when I started using LOA, so then I would abandon it (but not this time, coz I have you to guide me).

My husband and I went off at New Year’s on a spa getaway and worked through your whole program, felt great and ready for the new year.  Since then, not only has his business not moved forward, it has completely stagnated. As for me, I started a new job that I was really looking forward to, have NEVER been so stressed in all my life and ended up going through a disciplinary action which may now result in me being put on  a national register barring me from working with vulnerable people. (I am not guilty of the allegation against me, but was not believed). I am a carer and love my work, so this is potentially ruinous for me. I get that I created this reality, but now I need to understand how the hell things got this horrendous in the short space of 9 weeks and how I can make sure that I don’t get put on this register.

I have not given up, have spent the last couple of days moving diligently up the vibrational ladder to release my limiting beliefs of powerlessness and the belief that others have power over my life but that I don’t. I have also been doing EFT for releasing this belief. I am starting to feel better and stronger.”

Dear Awesome Dudette,

At the risk of scaring the crap out of everyone who reads my blog by giving them the impression that if they start practicing this Law of Attraction stuff their lives will just fall apart, I’m happy to answer your question.

Will your life fall apart with LOA?

So… will your life just start falling apart if you start raising your vibration? Well, maybe. I know, I know, that’s not a satisfactory answer, so let me explain.

When you begin to raise your vibration, when you move towards what you actually want, any resistance you have (beliefs that are actively interfering with what you want) will pop up to be released. That means you’ll have a manifestation of something that doesn’t feel good. When you get A LOT of energy moving, the way you did by following my end of year process, you get A LOT of results.

The first thing to remember is:

Don’t freaking panic

When things start to change, it’s easy to forget that you just did a buttload of work precisely in order to shake things up and that the upheaval you’re now experiencing is a direct result of the energy work you did. This is because, for most of us, it’s part of our belief system that all change is almost certainly bad. Cue the ominous music here. And this is such a paradox – we want things to change, we beseech the Universe to bring us circumstances that are often drastically different from the ones we currently live in, but when stuff actually starts moving around, we cry “What the hell is going on? I bet this marks the decline of civilization as we know it! I didn’t ask for this!”

Well yes, you did. You wanted to move closer to Who You Really Are, a life of adventure and joy and happy shiny puppy moments. And when things start to do just that, you freak out, because you assume that all changes take you away from what you want. Silly puppy.

The first thing to remember when stuff starts to shift in your reality is that everything that’s happening, is happening for you. You may want to write that on a post it and stick it someplace you can see it every day. Like your forehead. Nothing has gone wrong. All that’s happened is that you forgot one teensy part of the manifesting equation:

Expectations – they ain’t so great

That’s right, you forgot not to have any expectations. “What’s that”, you say? “Haven’t you been teaching us to expect good stuff to come to us, Melody? We must know immediately if you have just exposed an inconsistency, so we can inform the internet at once and it can lose its mind.”

Hold on to your mouse clicking fingers, there puppies. I’m not talking about those kinds of expectations. I’m talking about what is otherwise known as Trying to Control the HOW. In other words, you can (and should) have an expectation that things will work out well for you, you just can’t have an expectation of just how that will come about. That second one will get you into trouble. Every. Freaking. Time.

And don’t worry (I know you’re still worrying. I can hear it through cyberspace. Stop it.), this isn’t because you don’t get to have the life you want, or don’t get to have an easy ride (you totally do and the ease of the ride is entirely up to you). When you have expectations of HOW something will happen, two things go awry:

First, you limit the ways in which what you want can come to you.

Second, you have a tendency to totally misinterpret what is happening, causing you to take your energy in the wrong direction, away from what you want.

Let’s take a look at both:

Stop trying to be Google

I hate to break this to you, but your mind (and my mind, I’m not picking on you) is not designed to come up with the best way for something to manifest into your reality. The human brain, spectacular as it may be, simply doesn’t have the capacity for those kinds of computations. You’d have to know ALL the possible ways that something can manifest (that’s an infinite number), the exact belief systems that you carry down to the teensiest detail (um, you know how you struggle to figure out your beliefs one at a time?), the exact belief systems of everyone else (not to mention where they are and what they’re manifesting), so you can bring all the components together for the perfect manifestation. Are you beginning to figure out why this isn’t your job? This is a bit like trying to memorize the internet. The good news is, that you don’t have to do either.

If you want to find something on the internet, you don’t have to know every detail that could be accessed, nor do you have to know where all the data is stored. You just have to have access to a system that allows you to do what you want to do. For most of us, that’s a little tool called “the Google”. You may have heard of it. When you want to find some information on the net, you type a search term into the home page of Google. The screen then changes to show you the search results. It’s at this point that almost no one gasps in horror at a.) the fact that the screen changed, and/or b.) that they don’t just have the information they were looking for displayed on their desktop. The search results page is an intermediary that assists you in refining your search further, as well as taking you to the information you want (you can click the links on the results page, taking you to where you want to go.) If you used a bad search term, the results you get aren’t what you wanted, but you can always start again. No big whoop. This does not mean that the internet is broken or that you can NEVER FIND WHAT YOU WANT.

In terms of manifestation, you don’t have to try and figure out all the parameters and components required to actually make a manifestation happen. And you shouldn’t try. Because you can’t. But again, you don’t have to (I’m repeating myself here because this is one of those points that people tend to be really stubborn about…)

Focusing on what you want is like entering a search term into Google. The first feedback (that first results page) you get will be how you feel. If you feel good, that means the results page matches what you were looking for to a large degree. If you feel bad, you used the wrong search term. Try again. Choosing a different search term simply means refining your focus. You may THINK you were focusing exactly on what you wanted (that you had defined the perfect search term), but based on your results, you realize that you need to make a few changes. The change is not to what you want, but to your beliefs about how that thing has to come about.

Setting filters

When you decide that what you want has to come in a very specific way (this is what controlling the HOW does), it’s like you’re putting filters on the search results before you’ve even seen them, blocking out anything your puny human mind couldn’t first think of. Filters never expand results, they always restrict them, and often in unexpected ways, especially when you don’t know what all the possible results actually look like. So, if you’re going to set filters, set them after you’ve seen the results, not before.

Expectations (of the how) are filters and they can actively keep you from getting what you want as well as lead to a very frustrating experience. Which brings us to the second reason that expectations are a bad idea:

The Freak Out

When you insist that your “search result” look a certain way, you’ll inevitably think that anything that doesn’t look exactly like that isn’t a match to what you want. For example, you raise your vibration and focus on feeling great at work. The next thing you know, you promptly get fired. What the hell, Universe? Why would something so “awful” happen? Well, what did you expect? I’m not being sarcastic here. What did you actually expect? Were you limiting the results of your search for a better work experience to your boss becoming nicer, or your co-workers all suddenly dying of scurvy, or that old fallback – winning the lottery? Did it ever occur to you that losing your job abruptly was the fastest and easiest way for you to get to that better work environment (you would’ve never looked for and found the opportunity of your lifetime had you not been fired…) and no other way would’ve been as fast or easy?

When you freak out, it’s because of two reasons: you’re seeing change as a bad thing and you were limiting the ways in which your manifestations could come. Allow yourself to trust in the idea that change is a good thing (it’s a constant in the Universe. You might as well make peace with it) and whatever is happening is happening for the express purpose of taking you to where you want to go. Sometimes, the ride will be a bit rougher than others, but that’s only down to how many expectations you have and how much fear you’re still carrying around (ok, there are other parameters such as the speed of the Universal energy and the strength of your desire, but I can only cover so much in one blog post.)

Make the ride smoother

If you want your ride to be smoother, let go of your expectations. Trust in the process. See it as a good thing. Then, just as you’ve been doing, work through the fears that have been brought up. If you realize that whatever negative emotion you experience is only ever there to point out limiting beliefs, and you know that you can release these beliefs, you’ll have a sense of control (true control) that will keep you from freaking out. So, it’s not that your crap won’t manifest for you to see anymore, it’s just that you won’t see it as a bad thing AND it generally won’t be as “big” anymore. Your life will get easier but not more boring.

Let’s take a look at your specific manifestations: Your hubby’s business stagnated. Good. I’m not being cruel here. I mean, it’s good that you have something concrete to sink your teeth into. Obviously, there’s something “stuck” in there that you’re not realizing. Most likely, he’s been trying to force something in a way that’s not aligned with what he wants. In other words, there’s something about the business that doesn’t feel good that he’s been ignoring. It’s time to look at it. Maybe the business isn’t a representation of his greatest joy (stop doing stuff just for the money!), or there’s some aspect of it that doesn’t feel good. When you line up with Who You Really Are, everything that doesn’t feel like your greatest joy will start to fall away, leaving only room for what actually feels like happiness, success, abundance, love, etc. If you’re aligning with joy and your business stops moving forward, something about it isn’t a match to joy!

You’ve been put in a position where something “bad” might happen – you may be restricted from doing what you love. Or so you believe. You’re right to work on powerlessness, but also, take a look at those pesky expectations. Why do you assume that being on this list would not allow you IN ANY WAY to do what you love? Maybe there’s another way for you to do what you’re here to do that actually matches your greatest joy much more closely and you’re being given a kick in the ass to move in that direction. If a door closes, it’s only to get you to see another door that’s open. One that you’ve been ignoring because of your insistence that what you want has to come through one, specific door.

Stop freaking out and open your mind. Allow for the fact that there is a solution, even if you can’t see it right now (remember that you can’t see that solution unless you choose to believe it exists).

You will not EVER be led down a road that will take you away from what you truly want to do. If you think you are, you have an expectation of what that way has to look like.

In other words, if you are a caretaker, you will never be put in a situation in which you cannot care for others. And when you align your energy the way you and your husband have, you’ll actually be led towards MORE opportunities to do what you love. If it seems otherwise, it’s only because of your expectations of what those opportunities have to look like. Trust that whatever is happening is taking you forward and just work on feeling better. The process of having these experiences and working through them is exactly what will take you where you want to go.

My own experience with expectations

This little section isn’t necessarily for everyone. I’ve made my main point.  But if you’re ready for LOA 2.0, keep reading.

I had my own little duel with expectations a couple of months ago, while in the mountains of Peru. During an Ayahausaca ceremony, I was shown how my expectations were actually a representation of my fears. If I could tell the Universe exactly how something should happen and it then happened exactly like that, I could feel safe, right?  The underlying belief that things will otherwise not be safe creates the fear. But I also realized that if the Universe could only ever MEET my expectations, it could never surpass them. Or, to put it another way: You can’t fly if you insist on keeping one foot on the ground.

My insistence on controlling anything (and I do mean anything) only served to keep me smaller than I truly want to be, than I truly am. So, I’ve personally been working on getting rid of any and all expectations, even the smallest details, and I can report that HOLY CRAP IS IT FUN! It’s not always easy, mind you, but the more I simply float though life, allowing things to come in whatever form they may, letting it all be ok, letting it all be good, and assuming it’s ALL taking me to where I want to go, the faster I move. I’m also catching more and more glimpses of just how big my energy is (this is true for all of us, not just me), and I’m beginning to really understand a message I received a while back, that we really have NO IDEA of just how awesomely powerful we truly are. We haven’t even scratched the surface. But we can’t fully step into that power if we’re still holding on to our training wheels, our safety net, our baby blankets. The more we trust the process, the more we just assume that all is well, the bigger and better this physical life gets. Easy? No. Worth it? Abso-freaking-lutely.

 

{ 70 comments }

Leslie March 31, 2014 at 23:57

Okay, obviously you have been stalking me or something because this post was exactly what I needed to read TODAY, RIGHT NOW. So, thank you! And, thank you again for clearing all this up for me. Your blog is truly a godsend.

mand April 1, 2014 at 15:41

Me too! Two years ago I had a successful experience but wasn’t aiming for big changes. Basically I got myself feeling a lot more cheerful and was catching more cups before they crashed on the kitchen tiles. ;) This year things are getting harder since I began seriously working with LOA. What a relief that I’m not just failing to do it right.

Bernie April 1, 2014 at 00:07

Hi Melody great answer to a great question. I can never hear it enough times it seems, and even though I say it to my clients it’s just like I’ve heard it for the first time so have finally written it up and stuck it on my wall” everything that is happening is happening for you” brilliant :) our light is so powerful dare we step into it. Xxx bernie

Cheryl April 1, 2014 at 00:36

This was just the right essay at just the right time. Thank you.

Summer Starr April 1, 2014 at 00:51

This is so crazy! For a couple of days I have had this feeling that I was about to “let go” of something else – or uncover another limiting belief. So I let one go recently, but there was something else. I don’t know how I knew, but I KNEW there was something else I needed to let go of soon and it’s been bugging me. I was just journaling about it before I read this blog post. But when I read this:

“But I also realized that if the Universe could only ever MEET my expectations, it could never surpass them.”

I knew that was it! I have got to let go of my expectations. I’m still trying to control every aspect of this. No wonder the sh*t has been hitting the fan lately.

I just went from totally melancholy to a happy, shiny puppy in about 5 minutes! LOL!

Perfect timing! As usual! :)
Summer Starr invites you to read..I think the U is nagging at meMy Profile

Hannibal April 1, 2014 at 00:57

Loved this Melody, especially your input at the end. Your personal LOA 2.0 answers really drill in the point and provide a great way to relate our situations to yours. Thanks!

Mike April 1, 2014 at 01:02

Good timing on this one. I just went through my emails the other day and unsubscribed from a ton of newsletters and crap. You, however, were one of the few that made the cut! :)

I really liked this question because I’m in a similar boat with my business. Maybe my story can help spark some ideas for the original poster…

A few years ago, before I started actively using the LoA, I started a business and it was very successful very quickly (coincidentally, I never would have started this business if I wasn’t laid off from my office job).

Well, last year, I found out about the LoA. Initially I was excited because I realized that I really have manifested my entire life to this point… and what a life it has become. I’ve had a rocky road like most others, but at this point, it’s hard to complain. Not only do I have a successful business, but it’s all based online so I live in an RV and just travel around the country with my dog. It’s amazing.

A few things have happened in the past year, though. First, I started to get fearful that I’d lose the life I have built. I feel so fortunate and thankful for the freedom I get to experience in life, but at the same time, I’ve become fearful of losing it. In my experience, fear has never brought about positive changes in my life. Only negative.

The other issue is also based on fear. Most of my income only comes from 2 different sources. I don’t feel comfortable with that and spent the past year trying to diversify. It hasn’t worked. I raised my expenses about 5 fold and my revenue actually decreased. As Melody said, I have been trying to “force it” to work. The first time I started my business, I didn’t force anything. I simply enjoyed the process and rolled with it. Lately, it’s been forced and it hasn’t worked.

One more interesting point and then I’ll stop blabbering…

When I was building my online business, all I would think about is having the freedom to buy an RV and travel the country with my dog. That was my goal. I didn’t care if it took 5 years, I was going to make it happen no matter what. I had laser focus. Turns out it only took 18 months to make all of that happen.

Lately, however, I’ve had a different goal. A goal that will totally change the way I live. So now, I’m seeing my business stagnate, and I find myself getting frustrated and wondering why? Sometimes self-assessment is hilarious. I love my life just the way it is, but then ask the Universe to change my life in a huge way, and then I get frustrated when my life starts to change. Derp!

Looks like my stagnant business is directly related to my own indecisiveness. Who woulda thought?!

Anyway, not sure if this resonates for the OP, but this article has helped me sort some things out for my own business, so thanks for the great write-up, Melody.

On the Road April 1, 2014 at 21:19

Mike you were not blabbing at all, thanks for sharing.
Great move!
I feel you, and like you, we, hubby and I live in our RV, not a common thing here (not the US). But we did it and loving it so much, looking forward to the next adventure.
Although we haven’t got an online business, which is what we or should I say I would really really really love to, so we can travel wherever the road takes us, but we don’t get to, although we are both self employed, we are stuck to a locality.
Hubby keeps saying, “go on then think of something”, then my mind gets blank, anyway working (I think) on it.
Just wanted to share.
Keep your focus on where you like to be and leave it to the universe, you did before, and you knew that. Fear (without stating the obvious) is what jumps right at me from you and perhaps explore those fears a little bit deeper than you have, and be mindful of the things that come up, like “no it can’t be that”, guess you knew this already.

Jasmine April 1, 2014 at 01:07

Can anyone help me understand this? My brain just won’t let me take it in.

“If I could tell the Universe exactly how something should happen and it then happened exactly like that, I could feel safe, right? The underlying belief that things will otherwise not be safe creates the fear. But I also realized that if the Universe could only ever MEET my expectations, it could never surpass them. Or, to put it another way: You can’t fly if you insist on keeping one foot on the ground.”

Just call me A. April 1, 2014 at 01:39

Hey, Jasmine,

I think it means that you want something to go a certain way so that you can feel secure in that it will go and you get what you want. You want things to be safe, and thus create a fear. However, The U can never give you something even better and surpass what you want this way. you thus need to ket go and let the U do its thing. I hope this is the right track.

Jasmine April 6, 2014 at 15:58

Ohhhhhhhhh, I see!! Yes! Yes! Yeah, it’s so true.

Thanks for explaining! :) ))))

Just call me A. April 6, 2014 at 16:37

If you saw the finale of How I Met Your Mother, a very LOA-based show, the protagonist not only got what he wanted and then some, all the characters actually did, but only when things were left alone and the U left to work on things. Had to add that here.

Jasmine April 6, 2014 at 16:40

It’s the second time I heard about this show. Maybe I should watch it! Haha.

Another version of you April 1, 2014 at 04:07

Whenever you want something to happen exactly as you have planned, you have moved into the territory of control. Control always comes from a place of fear. You are saying that if the manifestation happens any other way, it might be bad for me…so I must control the delivery to feel safe and not afraid. Hope this helps!

Jasmine April 6, 2014 at 15:59

Yes, I have to remind myself of that all the time. Lol.

Thank you!

Just call me A. April 1, 2014 at 01:36

It just keeps getting better and better, as these posts!

Just call me A. April 1, 2014 at 21:37

Somewhere in here you need to feel better in order to move on to where you want to be, as this is the per-requisite to getting from where you are to where you want to go. The good feelings. You can’t let the “turmoil” let you down and you must keep your chin up.

Kelli April 1, 2014 at 01:48

Hey Melody!
This was such a great post and something I definitely needed to read. I have been working with LOA seriously for a couple of years now, and I have made some major shifts recently. And like you said, all of this shakes loose some of the crap we have been holding onto. Certain things happen that seem like the exact opposite of what should, but that view is based on a misunderstanding of what is at play. This type of post is so helpful to let people know this is all part of the game, and they shouldn’t be scared off from trying to improve their lives!
Kelli invites you to read..Why Getting Bitch Slapped By Life Can Be the Best Thing to Happen to YouMy Profile

Lori April 1, 2014 at 02:00

Oh, Melody. Oh, Universe… I felt like this post was just what I needed. And then I got to Section 2.0 and then I KNEW it was.

I’m leaving tomorrow for my ayahuasca retreat in Peru. :) The last couple of weeks have been tricky for me, because I’ve been trying to not over-think this trip. This post is the perfect reminder that my trip will be exactly how I need it to be, and all I have to is let go.

Kathleen April 2, 2014 at 02:10

WOW, this post really WAS for you :D

Have a wonderful time! How exciting.
Kathleen invites you to read..Creating legit work at home jobs.My Profile

Cheryl April 1, 2014 at 02:51

Melody,
Reading your blog is a privilege and a joy and always right on time!

Tresna April 1, 2014 at 06:20

Oh my GOD, Melody, I just this past week went through a case of things going to hell after I’d concentrated positively! I had just focused really REALLY intensely on allowing love in all its forms to flow into my life and then the next day several very intense emotional situations presented themselves to be dealt with. I’m glad they did now- I did deal with them and now lots of love is flowing into my life already. Thanks for writing this post; I already knew this, but it still feels good to be validated, I guess! XD haha!

Lorraine April 1, 2014 at 08:48

Hi
Just a quick question, hopefully someone can answer it for me. I’ve started to let go of the how of things (and yes not always easy) however a few nights ago I had a dream that showed me ‘how’ the thing I want in my life is going to show up. In my dream the ‘how’ made me Feel very very happy just as much as me getting the thing I want. So since then I’ve focused on this dream a lot hence I’m feeling good about the ‘how’ etc. should I continue to focus on the ‘how’ in this instance or open myself again and not think about the ‘how’ in this dream? (Which is a tad difficult now)!!!!
Lorraine xx

Tinu April 1, 2014 at 21:42

Tricky one to answer but I’ll give it a go.
Melody has said a thousand times best best not to focus on the how! I see what she means because if I focus on how, I may then be having expectations and lose my manifestations when they arrive, breezing past me, oh can’t be that and so on.
Your words “I’ve tried to let go of how” may be the the result of your dream manifestation of how.
My thoughts, hope it helps somewhat

Lorraine April 2, 2014 at 08:21

Thank u xxx

Kathleen April 2, 2014 at 02:29

I’ll try to help too. — Focusing on the how is making you feel good because it gives you a feeling of some sense of control over your world and we all like to feel in control. SAFE. — But as Melody said, if you are focusing on this ONE how, then you are seriously limiting the Universe’s power to give you what you want. (Melody words it better). — I like to think of happily coupled people and the stories about how they met their spouse. The HOWs of their meetings could have NEVER been predicted, so good thing they didn’t decide to focus on “this how” or “that how” or they might not have ever met. — Though I get stuck here. (I can describe it better than I practice it :o ) If we aren’t supposed to focus on the how, then I get stuck on, how do I know what action to take? The action I THINK I should take is based on the ‘how’ in my head. (???)
Kathleen invites you to read..Creating legit work at home jobs.My Profile

Lorraine April 2, 2014 at 09:08

Hi
Yes I fully understand what you’re saying here. I always by default start thinking of the hows when I start to focus on something as (for me) it makes what I want more logically obtainable which actually then raises my vibration. I’m not yet at a point when I can just accept everything will work out without including a few how’s. I also get that if something feels good then take action. I’m currently working on my professional life but things that are being presented to me don’t feel good to me so I’m saying no! One thing did feel good but they didn’t respond back to me!! I’ve had the luxury of working on myself full time for the past 8 months and the amount of limited beliefs I have removed have been many. Not taking action in my professional life though is just recently starting to make me feel I might be missing something (8 months of no action to take (but lots of working on myself) or saying no to things is starting to feel a bit uneasy (Or am I missing something my brain says)??? My dream showed me how it was going to be ok cos the universe was sending me what I want including how it was being sent. I don’t recall ever having such a vivid dream before. Hence my ease at focusing on the dream.

Thanks for responding. Xx

Kathleen April 3, 2014 at 21:56

Well, if it feels good, do it. You have to take SOME kind of action, why not that way? A zillion years ago I actually decided to get married because of a dream, and I don’t regret it (as you said, it wasn’t just a regular dream, it was powerful.) :D
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Eva April 1, 2014 at 14:01

Just the right post for me! In 2012 I started having this great, huge wish to become my true authentic self. I just don’t want anything else anymore. No compromise, not pretending to be more or less. I quit my job and I don’t regret it. Anyway, ever since I have experienced so much turmoil (husband leaving me, not enough work, didn’t know what I even wanted and more) and I have been mostly okay with it, but lately it starts freaking me out. It’s just been so long. Now I think, maybe a LOT had (and still has) to change so I can become my true authentic self :-) And I still want that sooo much! I figure, there’s going be so much ease and grace in that, because if I am my true self, I will be unrivaled. :-) I can feel it a bit already.
Last week I wrote my personal manifesto (it will certainly change with time, but that’s it right now) and I want to share it, because to me it feels a lot like the last passage in Melody’s post (about the floating through life) and I want to say it out loud. Thanks, Melody!

I enjoy my life and explore living fully all that I am
I am open
Anything that happens to me can be a way to open more
I am present
Anything that happens to me can be a way to remain more present
Everything I need is within me
Anything that happens to me can be a way to realize that my safety is within me
I don’t need to be perfect, not in my mind or my body
I am really clear that life is never fighting me, whatever it is coming up with
I’m choosing to do and create only the things that I like and love and make me happy
I’m choosing to live fully and in tune with myself
Life is a gift and I’m ripping it open
Life is a river and I’m diving right in
I flow with the current

Kathleen April 2, 2014 at 02:31

WONDERFUL!

Ryan Biddulph April 1, 2014 at 14:15

Melody, great to be back! Epic post. I love your take. Kelli – up top – had some profound experiences drinking the same brew in Peru. I myself caught a stomach bacteria in India last December. Different vehicle for showing me I was out of alignment, but similar results. I was sick as a dog, but the experience grounded me, expanded my awareness and taught me how freaking ungrateful, controlling and greedy I really was.

I was literally not strong enough to move at the end of it. Dangerously dehydrated. No control. Which was great, because I was capitulated into surrendering. Of course, 3 people joined my gifting team during this period and during my 2 week long recovery period, when I physically worked an hour a day but energy-wise, worked for hours and hours each day. I let go, had zero expectations, and the goodness flowed to me through appropriate channels, the Universe’s choice.

Thanks, prolonged suffering, and thank, 20 pounds I couldn’t afford to lose.

Within days of coming out of the illness/major league misalignment Kelli and I manifested a 4 month stay in Fiji. House on the ocean. Housesitting. Watch a cat, rent free. Amazing what happens, when you let go, stop trying to control things, and watch the magic happen.

Awesome, awesome post. Tweeted!
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Tinu April 1, 2014 at 21:49

Love it, well put Ryan!
“Amazing what happens, when you let go, stop trying to control things, and watch the magic happen”
Thank you Ryan and Melody

Caroline April 1, 2014 at 18:02

Hey everyone,

We really shouldn’t be surprised by these massive non-coincidenes anymore should we? One of the things I’m working on right now is future travel plans (I love travelling!) and getting shot of my credit cards. I currently live and work overseas but my mail still gets sent to my parent’s place in the UK. After reading your post last night, focusing on some more goals…including the credit card thing, I woke up this morning to an angry email from my father telling me that the bank have closed my credit card due to too many late payments (whoops!), and that I should forgot about future travel plans and get a reality check.

Wow. Not the greatest thing to see/hear first thing in the morning from my dad who I haven’t seen in almost a year! As for the credit card thing, I see it as a good thing. I’ll pay the thing off a whole lot faster if I’m not tempted to spend on it. That, in my eyes, is the universe helping me out. The kicker is thinking I’ve disappointed my dad in some way. I guess I just need to ride the wave whilst trying to find a better feeling place and see where it goes! I know I’ll get there one way or another ;-)

Also, are you ready for what might be the world’s worst analogy? It works for me anyway! So for me, my goals are off on some distant islands off the shore somewhere. To get there I need to cross the sea. There are several ways of doing this. I could fly across, which of course would be the easiest, nicest, fastest and most comfortable way to get there. I could take a passenger ferry, takes a bit longer, might be a bit choppier but I also might see some dophins and some cool birds. I could take a dinghy – much choppier, good chance of getting wet, might fall out, but it would be an adventure. I could swim, it would be exhausting, it would take a long time and probably wouldn’t be that much fun, but I would get there.

I think I’m in the dinghy right now, looking to upgrade to the ferry :-)
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MamaA April 2, 2014 at 00:23

Loved the article Melody!! Exactly what I needed to hear! The LOA 2.0 was so eye opening, wow.

Many thanks and big hugs!

noelle smith April 2, 2014 at 00:52

Hi guys and of course Melody. Im a bit concerned about this maybe I dont understand it properly. Does this mean that when I ask for what i truely want,some of my worst fears will come about in order to shift my limiting beliefs?

Any thoughts would be great.

Jenny April 2, 2014 at 13:50

Hi Noelle,

In a word, yes. That is exactly what will happen. Deep breath – don’t freak out just yet. Here’s why. When we desire some thing but simultaneously hold on to fears about whether that thing will manifest and how, we are offering the Universe 2 contradictory vibrations. I want this thing Universe but I am afraid you will not give it to me and worse! You will not give it to me in exactly this way! What manifests first like you say, are experiences which match the limiting beliefs you are holding on to, which is the Universe’s way of ‘lovingly’ – read bitch-slapping here – showing you how you are serving 2 masters. The thing is, in my personal experience, we don’t even know we are holding on to these fears/beliefs! That’s why they have to physically manifest so we can release them.

Speaking for myself, the more I expand in awareness, the more the shit comes up to be released and at present, I’m talking about instantaneous manifestations, mostly emotional, of beliefs which are not serving. Let me give you an example:

So, last week, around Thursday, a bout of acne breakouts that went from mild to ‘extra-terrestrial space jam on Jenny’s face’ in the space of a few weeks was really eating at me. I pass a mirror and I swear it’s like Aliens, when those bugs start popping out of their cocoons. I’m trying to be all spiritual about this but eventually, on Thursday, I crack! Spectacularly. It’s a thing of beauty. I rage about these damn things. What the hell, Universe! I am past this. Why! Why! Why! Then I curled into a fetus and had a moment. Then, because I am this insanely curious cat, I head to the internet in search of answers and right on time, The Universe sends me to a post on acceptance. It’s by Osho who was before my time and I know vaguely that he was involved in some kind of scandal but I really don’t care to find out because if something resonates, it resonates, you know? In spite of the source. And he’s talking about acceptance. True acceptance, not just of the Self but of WHAT IS. He says to reject yourself and to reject what is happening now, is to reject God because EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING OUT OF GOD. EVERYTHING. No matter your definitions of it – everything you perceive to be good or bad is happening out of God because all is God. It’s like a punch to the gut. What do you mean, accept what is? Like it is? Like not resist it? A little? A lot? Who thinks of this crap? The Universe in true fashion, laughs. It knows what’s coming. This post won’t leave my mind. Especially the above sentence. Everything is happening out of God. So when my face is clear and smooth and soft, it’s God. When troglodytes are having a bestival on it, that too is God. So, the light goes on. What if, what if I could accept everything that is in my life right now, because logically speaking, IT ALREADY IS and it’s all happening out of God!! All that energy fighting what exists. Bah. I feel good. This is progress. I feel ready. I’ve grown so much – this will be a walk in the park. I add in other things like career which are not where I want them to be. I feel good. I can do this, right? WRONG. Mid-Thursday afternoon, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. Emotionally. I have no idea what the f**k is happening. I want to die. I want to climb Mt Fuji and shoot something. I want to cry. My face goes ape-shit acne-happy. All of last weekend and Monday, I was in a boiling cauldron of my own fears. WHAT. THE. HELL.

Then, yesterday, no warning. I wake up. The Sun is shining. My spirits lift. And I get it. I know what I am fighting. To accept what is, is to become utterly vulnerable. It is to know that you don’t know HOW. The hilarious thing is that you have never known HOW. Take one instance when you got what you wanted in an even better, faster way than you thought. Now look at all that happened to bring it together – how much did you know? Exactemondo. Zilch. To release the Hows is to accept that you don’t know – hardest thing for us humans, especially people like me who fancy controlling things. You have never known How – but now you accept that you know that you don’t know how and whoooweee, IT. IS SCARY. But, baby steps. Baby steps. How exhausting is it, to want to know HOW. Think about it. All the components that you’d have to think of? So, I release. I’m OK with acne bestival on my face as best as I can and I’m OK with clear skin. It’s Wednesday. I look like a dream. A couple of breakouts here and there still but for the most part, sunshine! I got wolf-whistled into work this morning. Even with the breakouts. Some people, tsk!

Join me people. Say it with me. THE HOS ARE NONE OF MY BUSINESS. By the way, that feeling of wanting to jump out of your skin you just experienced saying that plus the clenched teeth? Very, very normal. Keep saying till it’s true. The focus is on WHAT- not how or when.

Jenny April 2, 2014 at 13:57

OK. That final paragraph should read THE HOWS ARE NONE OF MY BUSINESS and really if you accept everyone’s right to their experience, the above mentioned is none of your business too:-)

Seriously – is anybody in London? Do you want to get together and not know HOW together once in awhile? Hit me up.

Lorraine April 2, 2014 at 14:08

Hi jenny

I’m not in London but a few miles from Birmingham and yes it would be great to speak to someone who’s into this! No-one I know is!!!!

Lorraine xx

Jenny April 3, 2014 at 12:43

Hi Lorraine,

We can be e-pals! My email is afro.gazelle@gmail.com

Look forward!
x

Marie April 13, 2014 at 22:32

Um. Ok, so..Jenny? That part about Hell breaking loose on Thursday afternoon and all? Same thing happened to me. Like, on Thursday. The week had been doing so well, I was positive and BAM! Felt as if I had been pushed over a speeding truck, and now I was cat food on the concrete.

I have found this blog because my biggest problem with LOA is to let go. Stop obsessing with the damn hows and, for a control freak as me, is…well let’s be friendly and say ‘hard’. I believe I’ve had this meltdown because I was getting better at surrendering to the U, and my subconscious realized what I was doing. Best thing about those meltdowns though (had a few in the last three months) is that every time I get one, I come out of it stronger.

It’s a shame you’re in London!! I’m in Canada…it’d be so great to have people to not know HOW together, and get better all together!

Thank you for your post, it really helped me today… :)

Marie April 13, 2014 at 22:44

Melody, there isn’t much I can say except how this blog is a true Godsend. I’ve read articles here before after hitting a new low this week, and when I stumble onto this today… I couldn’t thank you enough for this blog, and all the work you put into it. It is beyond amazing, insightful, true…

“I also realized that if the Universe could only ever meet my expectations, it could never surpass them.”

This resonated with me deeply because, I admit it, I am a control freak. What I wanted had to happen a certain way, which lead me to unconsciously block myself from possibly receiving better than I wanted. Luckily, I’ve just had an epiphany regarding something I really wanted in the past, and its manifestation was so much better than what I had imagined. The Universe really does know it better than we do…when we allow it.

I can’t wait to read your e-book, and again thank you so much for everything! You are awesome!!

Doris April 2, 2014 at 03:16

This happen to me last year, I got everything I wanted and then it all fell apart, I got scared and I attracted that, but I learned the lesson and that is more important than anything. It took me a couple of months to understand what had happen, my energy changed,but this post help me understand even more. There are things I need to get use to with the LOA, I think I keep wanting to show the universe how to get it and that is bad. Thanks for posting and helping us, will do the end of year ritual, I am learning so much through your site. Thanks again

Mary April 2, 2014 at 03:25

Ok Melody, not that I am challenging you here, but what the heck?

Totally get what your saying here. I have been following your website and blogs close to a year now. Why? Because after feeling so good about the job I had, loving the fact that I changed the way I feel, found that my last job did not serve me and coming home EVERY day saying to the universe and the Infinite Spirit “thank you, I am so grateful for my job and finally feeling good”…I was fired! Nobody liked my boss but I wanted to be kind, get to know her. We shared stories and laughed about things in life. It felt good we got along and I was glad I didn’t listen to the gossip about her. Until it got all turned around. She belittled my work (I prepared appeals on medical claims) and handed me back the appeals I prepared with corrected grammar and puncuations. Know instead of feeling good, I felt like an idiot.

Ok, I allowed this person to make me feel this way. Getting back to how I discovered your website…..I refuse to fall into a state of “why’s”and what’s” and super-duper depression (been there, ain’t going there) I remembered “The Secret” followed it, used it, practiced it…..nothing. Wanted to win the lotto, did all the things possible to ask, believe, receive. Zilch. So I searched for more insight and found you, Hoorah! Finally a smart cookie to break it down.

Got some great insight, tweaked my thoughts or two, changed the way I feel, some really good stuff here. Still wanted to win the lotto, mind you. Really concentrated on how it felt to win money. Didn’t think of the money part, the physical part, well at first I thought what I would buy or have, but turned it around and thought how it would feel to have money.

Ok…this is not working. I would read more on your website, feel good about it, change my vibration, dropped the focusing on the lottery, work on my belief system and any resistance I was holding onto. Knowing I needed to move on with life, I kept looking, no job came my way….lost my apartment and had to move in with the ex. And that was NOT fun. I slept on a blown up mattress the floor in his condo. No extra bedroom. Bugs were everywhere and he has the art of hoarding down packed. But I continued my journey.

I continued to feel good about money and letting it come into my life. I began to find within me, my real self. I wanted money to be a tool to continue to discovery myself. I wanted a home and what it feels to me to have a home. Not what it looks like or how big it is, but what feelings you get being in your own home. Meanwhile, still knowing I should work and keep looking. Nothing. I begged for my car not to be repo’d and got the money together, for a payment.

So no job, lost my apartment, (jeez, I loved that apartment) my beautiful stuff in a garage packed away, waiting for me to come and get them, and my wiener dog looking at me wondering when are we going home (forgot to mention my dog).

Then the ole ex says it’s time to go. So off I go to live with my parents in another city..and mind you, I’m way over 40 years old. Ok, I’m over 50, happy? I have been looking for a job since I’ve been here (2 very loooong months). No job. I’m out of money, parents don’t like animals so my dog is with the ex, no apartment, no friends, my two boys not near me and they don’t like it either and I live in Florida, it’s spring time and the folks have the heat on in morning! (Sure, go ahead, add the effects of what I am going through).

So the big question here is, I changed to be a better me and find within me, my true self. I wanted to manifest money in my life, enjoy my life in a different way…with peace, happiness, love. Of course I know money doesn’t bring those things, it was an idea…a tool, a thought to manifest money, to grow…it was a chose. I surely could of put my energy to manifest a job or apartment, I know that. I wanted to manifest money…it just came to me with no expectations. I can’t explain this. The thought was just there. I followed it because I felt compelled to do so. Not for the power, nor for the material things. Honest. After I mediated on this for some time, for insight, I felt it was for something else within me.

I started this journey April, of last year and basically see this journey, as not being over but it continues to add stuff that is not serving me. Say what you want, I did anticipate a few bumps and dark days, as you have written so many times in your blogs…but for this long? My energy, my true self was to evolve into feeling good, change. I would be so happy if I could feel better than this, even if it’s a tiny spark. If we pay for past life’s, what was I?….Attila, the Hun? What is going on, Melody.?

Pam April 8, 2014 at 21:07

Hi Mary,

I’m a little late leaving a comment on this thread (so hopefully you have subscribed to follow up comments so you can see it.) I just wanted to say I can relate to what you’re going through, because I’m kind of in the same boat. Two months ago, I was laid off from the marketing job I held for 7 and a half years. I’m 42, and still live at home with my mother (but have managed to save a lot of money for a house of my own someday, and I provide financial support to her by helping pay for groceries, cat food, utilities, heating oil, and minor house repairs.) A lot of friends have just disappeared on me so I would also like to attract a new group of caring people who “get” me and who I share some things in common with. It was funny when the layoff happened because two days before I had released a lot of old negativity and forgave people from my childhood and teenage years that I needed to forgive/release. The day before I was laid off, I was feeling incredibly physically light in my body and felt NO resistance to anything whatsoever. Then I come into work the next day and discover around noontime that my position had been eliminated.

I’ve been trying to see the job loss as something positive, and something I’ve been wanting for a while. Like Melody said as an example in her post, I’d been affirming for some time that my life was changing for the better–so I am viewing this transitional period as a sign that it really IS changing for the better. I’ve been having ups and downs and on some days it’s a little hard to deal with…in addition to this job I lost, I’ve been doing social media work (and learning all about it and SEO in the process) for the past 3 years for another company on the side. It used to be volunteer work just so I could learn it, but now they are paying me as a contractor. I’d really like a marketing role that incorporates social media an copywriting for my next job because I do enjoy it, or something else that fuels a passion and serves a purpose for me (whatever that may be. I’ve let the universe know I’m open to being led to a new possibility.) I also love to write and exercise, and this time off is providing me with a lot more time to do both, which I am grateful for.

Anyways, I’m rambling, but one thing I am learning about the LOA that seems to work for me is focusing my energy on one thing at a time. Right now I’m in the process of using LOA to cure a niggling health problem that’s been bugging me since late last year (constantly clearing my throat of mucus that I believe has lingered on since the last time I was sick.) For the past three days, I’ve been affirming and more importantly, believing that I am healthy, free of any viruses/bacterial infections, and that my throat/lungs/nose/sinuses/ears were crystal clear and free of any congestion. I’ve literally been putting my hands on my throat and affirming my healthy body. This is the third day and it’s just about GONE. I am grateful. No more throat clearing, no more coughing up mucus or feeling it every time I swallow (sorry if this is grossing anyone out!)

Also, like Rachel said, I’ve been remembering to feel grateful for more things everyday, even if they seem trivial.

One thing I do struggle with is that I tend to lump the more major life changing stuff (a new job, a new car, a boyfriend, new friends, the right house, etc.) into the “big” category when it comes to LOA. I tend to think that “bigger” means they are much harder to attract and will take a long time. I need to keep reminding myself that “bigger” does not mean harder or longer. I think they just seem that way because before I discovered LOA, I thought one could only attract them after a ton of work, struggling, and searching.

I don’t know if this helps at all, but just wanted to share my story at the moment. Maybe find one “smaller” think you’d like to change or attract, and focus on that first, before focusing on the ideal job you want. I feel like when we’re in the midst of a life changing situation, that we want everything to manifest at once, and our thoughts/feeling/vibration gets scattered because there’s several thing we want to improve. I think focusing on one thing at a time may get better results.

Rachel April 2, 2014 at 15:00

Hi Mary,

I’m no Melody by any means, not even really a Melody’s little finger in terms of understanding the law of attraction yet, but i can relate to what you have written through my own experience and I can tell you what worked for me.

My initial forays into the LOA attracted a load of what felt like bad stuff to me. Looking back on it now I can see it was because I was trying to do the right things and tick the boxes of positivity and openmindedness, but I had a lot of resistance and didn’t really believe I could change things, and was approaching my activities the wrong way.

I told myself I was happy although I wasn’t. I tried to make myself believe something that I simply didn’t believe. I tried to fool myself into believing I was happy and abundant, but couldnt escape from the fact I wasn’t.

Then I tried something different. I started a gratitude log. Each morning I write down the things in my life that I was grateful for. It was hard at first! But now I find it harder to stop. I started an abundance log and began to note down the little things that were coming to me. for example a free vend in the coffee machine, the bank waving a small over drat charge, the 50p I found on the floor that bought me a cup of tea, that sort of thing. Slowly but surely I began to see things change. I began to appreciate what I had. It was still no more than I’d had before, but know I was noticing it, appreciating it, giving thanks for it. I felt more abundant and I realised I had a lot more than many others.

Then things started to develop. Opportunities began to appear, money began to find it’s way to me. Things I was unhappy with started to drop away and better things came in their place. I believe the difference was that the practice of gratitude had changed my focus. I started to believe in my abundance and simply completing the practice raised my happiness levels. Since then, it seems to perpetuate itself, although still needs tweaking.

I don’t believe you are paying for a past life, you are trying for the right things and somehow a little piece of the puzzle must be missing for you. Maybe the gratitude and abundance focus will work some magic for you or perhaps someone else can suggest a tweak for you.

Good luck, I hope things do work out for you soon.

Rachel

Mary April 4, 2014 at 00:53

Rachel….Thank you so much for your thoughts and taking the time to give your insight. You know, it’s ironic you mentioned a piece of the puzzle must be missing for me. I too, kept thinking the same thing! But each time I tried to figure it out, I felt further away from centering my true self and away from my goals. That puzzle piece has been bent, torn, missing and a sore thumb to me! I finally dropped it on the floor and kicked it under the couch, lol. Not to take away your advice on the gratitude log, but I have 2 8×10 notebooks full of daily gratitudes and appreciations. I had a lot of stuff in those notebooks and just started to be thankful in my mind throughout the day and recap when my head hit the pillow at night.

Thank you for reaching out and making me feel better too.

Mary April 4, 2014 at 01:48

Rachel ….I also had sticky notes all over my apartment of daily thanks and affirmations about gratitude and appreciation. When I would feel grateful….I posted what I was grateful for and place it on the frig. Sort of a daily post of the day thing. But honestly, the posts started to dwindle a bit then stopped when I had no place to put them when I lost my apartment.

Why is it when you dedicate your life to being happy and changing your vibration and energy, it comes to losing so much. How can a job, a place to live, your family and dog, a car, not serve you? If I was new to this, the LOA, wanting to get started and I came across this website (sorry Melody) or other information out there and the blogs on this website, I would think they would say, the heck with this, this is some scary stuff here. Look at what these people are going through, what their losing.

Sometimes I think, at times, I just want my life back.

Rachel April 4, 2014 at 13:39

Hi Mary,

I’m stuck between saying its a shame you’re already doing those things (as I don’t have any other advice for you, being a novice myself really) and saying in that case great (as it’s still not working for you).
The only other thing I can possibly suggest is that somewhere there is resistance in you to the changes you maybe wanted when you started with all this and the universe is throwing you curve ball after curve ball to try and get your attention. Why it can’t just do something obvious I don’t know! I really Melody or someone else here can offer you a bit more, something that will help you get where you want to be.
But I do sympathise and really hope that things work out for you soon. Great big virtual hug xx

Mary April 4, 2014 at 15:46

Morning Rachel….thank you. You have given me more than you know and I am “grateful” for your insight and you taking the time to acknowledging what I am going through. Plus the hug was nice too! Blessing to you, Rachel

Mary

noelle April 2, 2014 at 15:58

Hi Jenny. Thanks so much for responding. Lets say you release some of your fears( or at least try to)
will they still manifest? Also what if you wanted to drive but jad a fear of crashing ? I have haf an instamce before where i had a major shift in my beliefs and although it helped me in the long run..it is most definetly not something I would want to go through again. This is the part that is scaring me.

noelle April 2, 2014 at 16:00

Sorry about spelling damn phone :)

John April 2, 2014 at 19:41

Hi Rachel:

Thanks for posting this. I have heard Abraham talk about something similar to your gratitude log, but your posting about it caused me to think it would be something good for me to try.

So, the first thing about my life I am going to find appreciation for is your post.

John

Rachel April 4, 2014 at 13:41

Aw I’m really glad that it’s inspired you John. It’s really changed the entire perspective I had on my life. I went from depressed and self pitying to my life is really wonderful in about 3 months with it. My life didn’t really change, I just saw so much more good in it. Good luck!

Rebecca April 3, 2014 at 01:58

Hi all,
I am hoping someone can offer some suggestions to me – right now I am struggling with a lot of guilt. I feel guilty because I have manifested some wonderful opportunities for myself, but because of my resistance and negative beliefs I have missed those opportunities, wasted them, or just totally ****ed them up! I had such an abundance of money flowing in, and I foolishly wasted it on clothes, booze, expensive food etc etc. Now have less money coming in and I am considering asking my mum for some cash, but that makes me feel terrible. She has been very generous with me in the past, and I wasted that money too. I took the plunge and followed my joy to go back to school to learn something I am passionate about – but I am wasting the opportunity, skipping classes, procrastinating, not doing my assignments well etc. I met a wonderful guy who I was into and he was into me, but fear made me not take my chance with him when it was offered, and now he is with another woman and I have not met anyone else I am attracted to. The list goes on……Basically I feel like a fool wasting my life and that I don’t deserve wonderful things because I will just ‘waste’ them. I just don’t have the faith in myself that I can create the life that I desire. I know I need to turn this around and pull myself out of this funk but I just feel so GUILTY. I would really appreciate any thoughts suggestion.

Ke April 3, 2014 at 11:45

My first bit of advice to you is to stop feeling guilty about feeling guilty. Stop making yourself feel worse by beating yourself up. You say you need to “pull myself out of this funk” but I think the first thing you need to do is just be gentle with yourself.

You say you’ve wasted opportunities – but unless you know that you’re going to die tomorrow, you’ve got roughly 9923847823947283749729384729834798 more AMAZING opportunities ahead. Forgive yourself for the things you feel like you did wrong – because they’re not wrong and you’re not a fool.

“Basically I feel like a fool wasting my life and that I don’t deserve wonderful things because I will just ‘waste’ them”

The more you focus on this feeling, the more you’ll keep bringing yourself proof of it. But I wouldn’t suggest trying to shove the thought away. Think of all the times you took advantage of an opportunity – even if it’s a small one – like being the first in line or… you know… finishing a project in time.

Instead of remembering all the times you “wasted” an opportunity, focus on all the opportunities still available to you.

Also – read Emotional Scale and Releasing Negative Beliefs

And stop being so hard on yourself – ask yourself whether you’d talk to your best friend the way you’re talking to yourself. Would you tell your friend that they don’t deserve an education just because they skipped a few classes? Probably not. So go easy with yourself!
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Jann April 3, 2014 at 15:09

Hi Rebecca,

I dont know the answer to this but I just want to let you know I have felt this way to and have behaved in similar ways too about “wasting” things. You are not alone or the only person who has experienced this.

I know i have overspent in my life as a means of feeling free – if that makes any sense to you. While over people were penny pinching (which would of felt like total deprivation to me) I was living the high life and not focusing on why i was doing this and that eventually I would have to look at why I didnt have a balanced approach to spending and saving. (This does exist its not all spend, spend spend or pinch pinch pinch)

A couple of years ago, I enrolled myself into a whole bunch of courses the other year so I could get more education so i would look more successful in other peoples eyes and never completed them when in the past i would of – so yeah I wasted a lot of money on courses i didnt complete and a far amount of time beating myself up over it too.

I guess i was feeling very powerless at this stage in my life and was willing to use education and spending as a way to feel better but this was not hitting the spot anymore which it used to. I guess it was time to get real with myself and the truth was I didnt feel worthy or of value and was looking for something on the outside to feel this way. This will never work because the truth was what I really wanted to feel was to feel empowered.

Maybe asking for money of your mum and even though you know she will help you out is enough to get your attention. My wake up call was that I was going to apply for a job that they would look at my finances and deem whether I would be a suitable candidate based on my financial management. This got my attention big time!

Dont beat yourself up over it and dont feel guilty – just keep moving forward.
Thats what i am doing and going for a balanced approach.

Hope this helps :)
-

sk April 3, 2014 at 15:50

It seems you care how other people will see you and judge you. You also seem to care how you are making others feel. You care about doing it right and proper.

Basically, at this point in your life, I can think of 2 options for you.

1. find a man to worship. Surrender completely to him and let him make all the decisions for you. Stop thinking, just follow. you will gain a huge amount of love at the expense of freewill. Pretty soon, you’ll come to appreciate that even though it’s nice to be led, there are certain things you will rather decide for yourself. Those things are important TO you. That brings us to option 2.

2. OR
stop caring about how others will judge you.
stop caring about what’s right and what’s proper.
stop tying yourself with 2 ropes: judgement and Fear.
forget about your “reputation”.
in fact, forget about yourself for a while.

Do these 2 small projects:
- Project 1: spend a day talking to random strangers in your local area. Learn their stories, find out what they want. Ask them how to be truly happy and I mean “truly” happy. Collect the answers.

- Project 2: ask people to give you money so that you can buy a gift for a random stranger. I know, they will look at you like a mad woman. If they ask, budget is $10 ($20 if you are confident). Once you have collected enough money, spend all of it to buy a gift for a random stranger. He/she could also be a person you spoke to in project 1. If they want to pay you back, tell them to do pay it forward instead and do what you just did.

Caroline April 3, 2014 at 20:08

Hey Rebecca,

Just a few days ago I decided to do a little excercise to see where my vibration was at. Throughout the day I recorded all of the times I didn’t feel good and figured out what I was feeling instead. 9/10 of the negative bouts during that day were down to feeling guilty! I surprised myself! I had not idea that this emotion dominated my vibration so much! Just some of the things I was feeling guilty about:

- spending money unncessarily (mostly this! x 5 throughout the day)
- eating badly
- letting my friends down by not going out with them when they asked
- not washing up (roommate politics, it wasn’t my turn, but I still felt bad)

And then you might see from my post above that I got a bumper dose of guilt in the form of an email from my dissappointed father. I am very aware that I attracted this into my reality by feeling so damn guilty all of the time! Even now, after sending him a couple of fun emails that he didn’t respond to, the feeling is still there.

The fact is that wether he responds or not, outside influences should not affect how I feel, so I have been trying to let go of some guilty feelings. I’ve been looking at situations and figuring out how I can feel good about them rather than guilty. Like spending too much: I had a good time/got some cool stuff with the money I spent, and also learned a little more about my spending habits and how to be a little more responsible in the future.

This has been working slowly, my main conern is that I can change how I feel about how I behaved, but I can’t change how other people feel. I still need to crack how to not let that affect how I feel about myself.

I hope this might have helped you Rebecca, and if anyone else has any tips on how to overcome guilt I’m sure we would really benefit from it :-)

Ruhi April 3, 2014 at 06:38

I am confused though some of the statements make perfect sense to me! Can anybody help me to understand what it means by forgetting about expectations? Concentrating on what I want n letting go of the how to the universe, is that the point Melody wants to make? Huh confused…. May be because for mewhat I want is my expectations and don’t bother about how at all… Please someone help me! I know I am not making any sense now :-P

Ke April 3, 2014 at 11:35

Well… say you want more money. Your goal is to feel more secure and be able to walk into a store with confidence (or whatever) – a lot of people have the expectation that “more money” means that they’ll have to get a raise at work, which will stop that manifestation of “more secure about money” from coming in a different way (such as inheritance, winning the lotto, finding a hidden pirate chest full of booty buried in your garden)

The whole point is to focus on the feeling of the end goal – more money making you feel more secure, etc. and not focus on HOW you’ll get that money. For example, if you want more money, you focus on how it feels when you have more money, not getting a raise at work, or finding a pirate chest.

Is that what you were asking?

sk April 3, 2014 at 17:26

how about we use another analogy.

Life is like an ocean.
events in your life are like the waves.
and you are the surfer.
some time, you manage to ride of the wave beautifully and that feels awesome.
some time, you crash and that feel crappy.
you win some, you loose some.
Get use to it.
It is the same for every other person on the planet.

If you expect the wave to be perfect for you every time, you’re doing it wrong.
If you expect the wave to be bad every time, you’re doing it wrong.
if you expect the wave to be a particular way every time, you’re doing it wrong.
expect it to be unpredictable.

If you go further and try to modify HOW the waves are created, you are wasting your time as it is futile.
It was never your job to create the wave in the first place.
good news is you don’t have to.
Your job is to keep choosing board (tool) and to use that board (action) until you find a good combination.

hope that is less confusing.

Ruhi April 4, 2014 at 06:28

Hey SK and Ke! Well you made it quite simple :-) Thanks for the termimlgies used to explain :-)

Ryan April 3, 2014 at 18:44

WOW! I am having that SAME EXACT experience! I started my business as only a source of getting money to pay off my child support every month (I was placed on a probation for a year because I was in arrears). If I didn’t pay monthly, I would have to face jailtime of 6 months! So yeah, that FEAR motivated me to make as much money as I could.

Problem was that “Murphy’s Law” was in full effect, but I still kept going; despite the FEAR that motivated me to keep me out of jail. The more and more Murphy kept taunting me, the more I knew that “this isn’t what I was meant to do”. Until eventually the business just crashed on itself, every client canceled their agreements, employees just up and quit, new employees were flaky; leaving me to do all the work, and now, business is VERY difficult to find.

So, here I am now, in April, with an extension on my child support until April 10th to come up with this month’s money otherwise I go to jail for 6 months. I have been meditating and applying LoA, but nothing is happening, except more and more “bad” outcomes, and a looming FEAR that I will spend 6 months in jail – starting April 11th.

The worst part of this is, that I have opportunities that ARE presenting themselves in what I REALLY want to do – acting! All of these opportunities are in the proximity of this spring and summer, but if I go to jail for 6 months, I miss out on EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!

I am trusting in LoA, but this FEAR of jail for 6 months, and missing out on EVERY opportunity is VERY STRONG. Any advice?

SK April 5, 2014 at 14:55

Wait for the cattle prod moment.
Clarity will come.

Bernadette April 15, 2014 at 01:32

Hi Ryan and everyone,
I have been through similar lately too. reading your stories have made me remember a little trick I used to do with my daughter and that is fully visualise the very worst that can happen, in all it’s glory and detail, because what we resist persists and this gives your fears the air time it is seeking from you…I then have her after fully emptying out on the fear visualise what is the very best that can happen in the same situation…it gives you a bit more clarity as to which end of the stick you are holding…letting go and having faith has also been a bit of a problem for me so I visualise the problem/situation being put into a balloon and releasing it to the universe…things are starting to turn around…I was in need of some money to pay bills and have been finding coins on the street (universe winks), had $150 appear out of the blue, and another $600 loaned to me… I think it may have also helped that I took the time to do a little soul searching as well, I had 3 situations going on that we’re causing me nightmares…I asked myself ok what is it here to teach me…turns out that all 3 after a little soul search and digging, were about being independent and providing my own security….all the best everyone xx

Rose April 7, 2014 at 15:58

After reading this post, I think my second least favorite word is HOW. (My first least fave word is obligation). lol. Superb fascinating post, Melody. Let it go, let it go, let it go, I’m thinking of that song now….:) Thank you!

Ally June 7, 2014 at 07:36

I love how your posts make me chuckle all the way through.
“What the hell, Universe?” is exactly what I was thinking…..after doing tons of financial abundance manifesting work over a few weeks and feeling really great about things, a BIG BIG deal my husband NEEDED didn’t happen. We were kind of hinging our WHOLE FINANCIAL FUTURE on this deal going ahead. What the hell, Universe? This isn’t really what I ordered. It could mean that my husband’s business is finished. On the same day I got really sick (a detox from starting the five tibetans I’m pretty sure) which didn’t really help, but it made me think that things do indeed get worse before they get better. So I thought, stick with this, don’t get all down because things appear to be going down the shitter, and even though we are in that space where things haven’t worked out just yet, I know they will and that makes me feel better than freaking out.

Ally June 13, 2014 at 12:11

Just a quick update – my post above was 7 June, now it’s 13 June. After the business deal fell through and I decided not to get worried (normally I would have been freaking out) I just chilled and kept up my meditation. Because I had meditated so much on our financial situation being great, it was so entrenched in my mind that it was easy not to worry and I actually couldn’t see things NOT working out. Well today just got news of another deal – WAY bigger and has come about in a really unlikely and surprisingly easy way (it’s almost funny how easy it was) and moving much faster than it normally would. When I heard the chain of events it was all so weird because it’s like the universe just lined it all up. Now I just have to get my husband to give me the credit! It’s not finalised yet but I know it will all go well. Also I have been manifesting parking spots all week and trying intention and LOA out on all sorts of small things and it’s working! Thank you Melody and LOA!!

Melody Fletcher June 13, 2014 at 13:12

Yay Ally!!! Thanks so much for sharing your examples here!

Big smooshy hugs for you,

Melody

Ally June 14, 2014 at 06:56

Melody thanks for your reply! *excited*. I read my post again and I realised that words can’t really convey what a total spin out this is. I can’t believe I didn’t come across all this earlier in my life! I don’t mean to harp but this is wild. If this LOA business works (and my evidence is mounting), then this is huge. I mean, this changes everything! It means I never have to worry ever again, that it’s actually counterproductive!
It means that I can have whatever I want in life – that big house, lots of cash to go shopping, basically not to have to worry about money ever again so I can concentrate on other things! It means that when I am done manifesting money, then I can start on my body and my career and anything else I want!
And if I can do that, than anyone can do that! And if by raising my vibration I am helping others and the world at the same time, and they can all learn to do this – then the whole world would be like, amazing!
Why aren’t the newspapers publishing this?? There should be headlines every day until people get it – “LOA Means You Can Have Whatever You Want Just By Feeling Good. World Is Saved!” Then we would see: “War Averted as World Leaders Meditate on Manifesting Win Win Situation”.

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