Use LOA To Break Bad Dating Habits

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by Melody Fletcher on January 16, 2014


I’m taking the month of January off to travel to Peru and go do my own inner work (getting an energy upgrade. And possibly an oil change). In the meantime, I’ve decided to give you a little treat and answer your LOA questions on Video for a change! How freaking exciting is that? Enormously. The answer is: enormously exciting. Someone out there is shitting kittens right now. You’re welcome.


Awesome Maria asks: “I have been noticing a pattern of my behavior when it comes to dating, and would like a little help in changing that cycle. I date someone and I am really into them. After a month or so I start to focus on something that really bothers me about them and I start to focus on it and end the relationship, because it bothers me so much that I am not happy. For example, I stop getting as much attention as I used to get, he’s not a good kisser, not connecting as much as we used to, etc. After breaking up, I start to miss them and realize that I can’t be focusing on the bad because I will end up with more of it, and that I am responsible for my own happiness, but it’s too late to reconcile. I sometimes feel like I just want to give up dating because it’s emotionally draining.

I have some ways to go with controlling my emotions, so does that mean that I will continue with this dating pattern until I get my emotions together? Some of my fears are getting hurt, them not liking me as much as I might like them, and missing out on someone better. Help!”

Dear Awesome Maria,

Here’s your video answer!

If, for some uncontrollable (you know, while I’m away with no access to the internet) reason the video above doesn’t show up properly, please click here and watch it directly on YouTube.

Let me know what you think! I assure you, I’ll be reading each and every comment when I get back!

Big smooshy hugs,




Vinita January 16, 2014 at 16:12

I missed the BLOG for sometime, since you’ve started the Video responses. But I have started to looooveee it. :D Your expressions, especially. :P Thank you so much for this video. <3

Debi January 16, 2014 at 16:32

Un friggin’ believable. Could not have been a more spot on post for me and some things that are happening in my life at the moment. I do not believe in coincidence and this is simply more validation of the direction I need to take in the “Relationship Department”. Letting go is hard … especially when you really care about the person even though you know they are not a match for you.

Thanks, Melody.
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Dateless in Durham January 16, 2014 at 16:40

Wow. This was awesome! It really resonated with me.
For me, I have met a bunch of men who want to go out with me (thank you, online dating), but I just don’t find them attractive. I really want to, but I don’t.
This video rang a bell for me – right now, I don’t find MYSELF attractive!
I have put on some weight since the summer and I do not like the way I look and feel.
I think I will work on visualizing myself as attractive, getting myself into the shape where I feel comfortable… THEN try dating again.
Thank you, Melody!

Dawn January 16, 2014 at 17:07

YES YES YES. Especially about the kissing. Not a match for kissing, not a match for much else. Those are the guys we can be friends with. ;)
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minnie January 16, 2014 at 17:58

i love your videos even more than your posts. nothing can beat your expression when you said “and without any sarcasm whatsoever”!

Moonsparkle January 16, 2014 at 21:54

Some good tips. Thanks. :)
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Kam January 16, 2014 at 23:09

So many of the blog questions relate to dating (understandably)… maybe it’s time for the ‘DB’ website to incorporate a dating/introductions service! There are probably a hundred reasons why that wouldn’t work, but it did occur to me as a notion, after the zillionth question on dating. We all have nice, single friends; there must be a way to introduce them to each other?!

Amanda January 19, 2014 at 02:34

All the way through, this video totally rang a bell in my head. I was definitely scared of “missing out” on something better, but now I get it.

Also, you have really great hair and I think you would look really good with bangs too.

Lily January 22, 2014 at 07:42

I’m having the same contrast here. I’ve been dying to attract a relationship because I never really had a true one until now, and I finally attracted a guy who is completely different than what I was expecting. So I was like “WTF, Universe??” but because I know that I always attract what I really am asking for, I started dating this guy and it all went great until I started to feel uneasy about stuff. Since then his attitude has changed, so I know that I’m the one responsible for that with my decreased vibration, but I can’t seem to find my way back to the place where I felt “comfortable” and ease. How can you keep up with your own high vibration long enough to not spoil things? I really need some advice here :/

SK January 22, 2014 at 13:56

It seems to me that Awesome Maria is using the “shoe buying” method to find love.
She also treats her men as a pair of shoes too – shoes-men.

According to LOA, Maria’s happiness came from within her. She is solely responsible for her own happiness. Her happiness is a feeling – HER feeling. Once she understands that, she will come to the realisation that her happiness did not came from those shoes-men. They cannot give her happiness, hence they can not take it away from her.

Her relationship with herself is the meaty, yummy steak meal.
The man is less than gravy, he’s is just a mirror.
I agree with Melody, Maria needs to focus on hers inner joy / inner desire.
she should follow her own bliss.

It is pointless for Maria to try to find the perfect man (perfect mirror), or try to change him (fix the mirror), or worse ask him to “give” her happiness.

Janet Benson January 23, 2014 at 20:43

You are totally awesome. You should do this video response thing all the time. Its completely different and is very cool. You are funny and cute and it just works. Keep making the videos is my vote!
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