My Liver Cleansing Experience Part I – The Most Vulnerable Post I’ve Ever Written

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by Melody Fletcher on November 28, 2013

 

Ok, so today’s post is going to be something a bit different (read: totally different). I did my first ever liver flush on Monday night this week, and then I got so excited about the results, that I posted on Facebook (are you following me on Facebook? That’s where you get all of the weird and wonderful details…), and people apparently totally want to hear about these kinds of topics on the blog (at least some of you do), so here we are. But when I set out to write this post, I realized I was going to have to explain why I had done the flush in the first place, and that led me to the epiphany that it was time. I’ve known for a few weeks now that I was working my way into a whole new level of authenticity, one where I was willing to be a great deal more vulnerable than I’ve ever been before. And because I’m in the process of taking my business to a whole new level, the next step is to be vulnerable publicly. It’s time. And yes, I’m nervous. I know that I have an amazing audience. I know that most of you don’t expect me to be perfect and even quite like it when I reveal that I’m not. I know that most of you will embrace this vulnerability as a chance to give yourselves permission to do the same. And still, I’m nervous. Because once I rip back this curtain, there’s no going back.

While I haven’t exactly tried to make out that I’m issue free (I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m not), I’ve focused mostly on talking about resistance that I’ve already overcome. I don’t tend to discuss things I’m currently experiencing, because I don’t want anyone to put any more focus on the problem. And yet, I think I can do better. If I am to continue to fully step into my power, if I want to continue to evolve, I have to follow my intuition and step out of my comfort zone, once again. I have to share more of myself with you and take the risk that comes with that. Intellectually, I know it’s not much of a risk (because other people’s opinions don’t matter; plus, you people are awesome), but emotionally, my knees are shaking a bit. And I suppose, I wouldn’t be fully authentic if I didn’t disclose that bit of fear to you, as well.

Although I’ve known for a few weeks that some kind of big, vulnerable post was coming soon, I think the final push came when another coach recently said to me: “It’s ok to evolve in public.” That hit home. I don’t want to hide my evolutionary process from you (not that I really could. Check out my first few posts to see what I mean. It’s night and day…). I think you’ll benefit so much more if I draw back that curtain and give you a much better view of the messy process of becoming enlightened. So, here goes:

My “other” passion

I have many passions. LOA is one (the main one, the big Kahuna), nutrition and health is another. The main reason that nutrition and health are a passion of mine, though, is that I’ve been struggling with my weight all of my life. Now, as many of you know, I was able to release about 100 pounds of weight a couple of years ago. This was a glorious achievement, and I was sure that I’d finally conquered the mountain. Only, to be totally honest with you, I hadn’t. Like an LOA newbie, I had focused entirely on the weight loss as the goal, instead of it being a means to an end. So, when I finally got into my skinny jeans, I realized, to my horror, that I wasn’t “done”. I still had a massive fear of gaining it all back. I wasn’t FREE. I hadn’t truly stepped into a reality where I was a thin person. I was just a fat person who’d lost some weight. That’s not the same thing at all.

Humbled by my realization (I should know better, after all, but then we all have at least one issue that makes us totally blind), I set out to do it the “right” way, by getting in touch with the fears that were still left, and learning how to become truly and finally free. I can laugh at this now, but I honestly thought it might take me a few weeks or maybe a couple of months to get the rest of the story (after all, it wasn’t as if I hadn’t found any pieces of the puzzle, I was just missing a few), so I decided to just not write about weight for a little while, and let it all come together. I had announced that I was writing a weight loss book, and by golly, I was going to do just that. No one had to know that I hadn’t actually quite yet found the Holy Grail, right? After all, it was only going to take a little while. Only, that was two years ago. And I’ve been receiving massive amounts of insights ever since. I decided to make 2013 the year that I concentrate on the physical body, and I’ve filled pages and pages in my journal with powerful realizations. I keep thinking I’ve got it, only to find out that there’s even more to be downloaded.  My journey wasn’t nearly over, and it still isn’t, although I’ve come a long, LONG way in the last couple of years. I may not have all the answers, but I have a lot of them, certainly a lot more than I had two years ago. Why does that make me feel vulnerable, you might ask?

As part of this journey, as part of my path, I had to have a few more major realizations, one in particular. It’s one that the Universe has been trying to teach me in various ways since I was a child, and one that I have been stubbornly refusing to accept. It flies in the face of all conventional wisdom, everything I’ve ever been taught about weight loss, and I just couldn’t get my logical mind around it. Until, the Universe finally bitch slapped me hard enough to really get my attention and I had no choice.

There I was, eating my mostly raw vegan diet (not designed for weight loss, just because I was intuitively led to it). I was on about 800-1500 calories a day, with moderate exercise (a bit of Yoga, a bit of walking, but no more 3 hour daily stints in the gym). My diet hadn’t changed much for several months and my weight had stayed steady. I’d stopped weighing myself (after all, how much we weigh is not important, otherwise we could just chop off a limb. It’s just a means to an end), and considering how I was eating, weight gain wasn’t really a threat. But then, suddenly, I put on 40 pounds. In a month. Just like that. I hadn’t pigged out, I hadn’t upped my caloric intake. In fact, I’d actually largely lost my appetite for a few weeks and had been eating less. My body had simply decided to hold on to more weight, and my jeans didn’t fit anymore.

I. Freaked. Out.

I don’t mean that I was a bit shocked. I mean, I had one of the biggest anger releases of my life. I raged against the Universe, my body, the unfairness of it all, the beauty standard, the people from my childhood who had convinced me I was fat long before I actually was, the gym teachers who had turned physical exercise into a hated and humiliating experience, the diet industry, every diet book I’d ever read, every unknowledgeable practitioner, doctor and nutritionist I’d ever been to. I’d been sick, I’d recovered, I’d lost weight, I’d paid my dues! How could my body betray me like this, once again?!

After I’d finally let go of the majority of the anger, a quiet voice seemed to whisper in the darkness: It’s not about the food. You see, this wasn’t the first time this had happened to me. I’d had unexplained (according to medical science) weight gains before, even while on an incredibly strict regimen. Science’s answer after reviewing my eating and workout plan? “You must be lying about what you’re eating. That’s the only explanation that makes sense.” Only, I wasn’t lying. I was micromanaging every gram of nutrition that went into my body. I was working out like a mad woman, six days a week. I was perfect on paper. And it wasn’t working. And once again, that little voice: It’s not about the food. But this time, I finally began to hear it. For the first time in my life, I really, truly got it. It’s not about the food. It’s not about the exercise. My body could put on 20 pounds in a month with no extra calories. And then do it again. No one could explain it to me scientifically, but here I was, hauling around the proof on my ass. It’s not about the food.

The real journey

When I finally accepted this insight, this paradigm, it opened me up to the possibility of figuring out what it was truly about. Sure, sure, it’s about the energy, the emotion, blah, blah, blah. But how do you actually apply that? What does that really mean? How do you use that to get your damn body to conform to what you want (and no, I can’t cover all that in one blog post, but I will be writing about this more and more in the weeks and months to come)?

I began to meditate a little differently on this topic. I asked myself, what is it that you really want? Why do you want to lose weight? I dug deeper than I ever head. I finally applied my own process to myself (like I said, we all have that one issue). I lined myself up with the feeling I wanted to achieve, something I’d never been able to achieve before, and then I relaxed and followed my intuition. I’d love to tell you that the weight just magically dropped off the next month. But honestly, if that had happened, I’d have stopped looking for more answers (I know myself, I totally would’ve moved on to a new goal). And, since I always have to explore everything fully so that I can teach it, I had/have a lot of answers to find. So, while everyone I know is telling me that I look thinner (I still don’t weigh myself), and my jeans do feel looser, my skinny jeans lie waiting for me at the bottom of my closet. I no longer need to fit into them (although I truly know that I will).

I’ve finally decided to love my body no matter what. Coming clean to all of you is a part of that. My weight has been the source of my biggest frustration, my biggest pain and my biggest shame. I’m done with that. Or at least (because I know I’ve made that statement before, and I wasn’t done), I’m a lot more done than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I don’t need to be at my goal size in order to feel good, to be happy, or to experience ANYTHING I want to experience. I no longer judge myself, and so I’m not all that concerned anymore about being judged by others (although some nervousness still remains). The freedom that comes with that is enormous. And being able to publicly declare this is a huge nail in the coffin of my past insecurities.

Of course, as soon as I managed to feel good no matter what, my body started talking to me. Ok, it had been talking to me all my life, but I hadn’t been listening. I thought it was the enemy. I’d made peace with it to various degrees over the years, but suddenly, my body was my partner in all this, fully on board and willing to tell me what to do. Holy shit, I’d never considered the idea that I could just ask my body what it needed. I’d been intuitively eating for years, but this took the communication to a whole new level. This went way beyond the apple feeling better to me than the cheese burger. This was full on, one to one communication. And when I asked my body what I needed to do, it told me to check my liver.

“Check your liver”

This took me down a whole new path, one that’s rife with incredible information, and also a whole lot of crap. Ah, God bless the Internet. I realized that as I’d gained weight, I’d also started to feel progressively worse. After tons of research, I became (and still am) absolutely convinced that I’d had a congested liver pretty much all my life. I partially uncovered a blocked memory of a trauma I’d experienced when I was around 2 years old, the emotion of which had been stored in the liver. I believe the energy of my family made me susceptible to this (we all manifest things in our own way, in my family, trauma gets stored in the liver). I managed to manifest a nutritionist that helped a little (my emotional blockage would not allow me to manifest more than a smidgen of a solution at that point), which was enough to bring up the real culprit – the ancient trauma and the beliefs I’d adopted as a result. When I healed that trauma (or at least healed it to the degree that I had access to), options to cleanse the liver in various and effective ways started to flood into my experience.  I’d like to share with you the protocol that I put together for myself thus far. If any part of it resonates with you, then perhaps you’ve found the next step in your journey. If it doesn’t then don’t worry. Focus on what you want to feel, and let yourself be inspired to the appropriate action. It really isn’t about the food, or the exercise. Those are merely reflections of the energy within us. But, when you are drawn to a particular action, go for it. Nothing comes to us by accident. While there is no miracle cure, there is always the next step and one after that.

The magical liver

I’ve done a lot of different cleanses in my life. I’ve been a big believer in getting rid of toxins for years now, and fully support the idea that as we raise our vibration, we will be inspired to clean our bodies up so they can keep up with our energetic selves. Where limiting beliefs clog up the mind, toxins clog up the body, and are often representative of our resistance. So, getting rid of toxins can not only make it easier to raise our vibrations, it may well be a necessity. For thousands of years, mystics and spiritual teachers have sworn by the effects of fasting. Fasting is a great way to detox. There are, of course, other methods.

With all the detoxing I’ve done, however, I never really paid any special attention to the biggest detox organ of them all: the liver. I clearly wasn’t ready. Had I known about the importance of the liver, I’d have gone after it with my usual vengeance. But that would’ve brought up the emotional issues I wasn’t yet ready to deal with.

Since I’m not a doctor, I’m not going to do a full recap of the hundreds of functions that the liver is responsible for in this post. If you’d like to learn more about this vital organ, you can do so here. I’m going to focus on the bits that are important to the topic at hand.

The liver regulates most chemical levels in the blood and excretes a super alkaline substance called bile (it’s yellowy green), which helps carry away waste and break down fats in the small intestine during digestion. All the blood leaving the stomach and intestines passes through the liver. The liver processes this blood (clears out the poisonous substances) and breaks down the nutrients (and drugs) into forms that the rest of the body can use. In other words, the only reason the toxins in our food and environment don’t kill us, is because the liver manages to filter them out and neutralize them.

Now, imagine that the liver isn’t working at 100%. You’d think that doctors would be all over that shit, right? Turns out, no. They only get involved when the liver is already at least 70% compromised. In other words, if your liver is not functioning optimally, it will still show up as A-OK on medical tests. You’ll feel like crap, but that’s not considered a relevant variable. I’m not telling you this to be snarky, I promise. I’m merely pointing out that medical science only checks for very specific parameters. Just because they say that everything is fine, doesn’t mean it is (and just because they say things are not fine, doesn’t mean they aren’t). Go with how you feel. Your body knows what it’s doing (this is what my body wants your body to know. And yes, I know that sounds kind of dirty. You’re welcome.)

So there you are with a clogged up (i.e. congested) liver, which is struggling to filter out the toxins in your blood. Depending on your own situation and energy, eating a super clean diet and living well may not be enough for the liver to fully recover. But there are things you can do to assist it with its cleansing process (once you’re ready to uncover the emotions that will release, of course).

I’m going to share some of these techniques with you… on Monday. I know, I totally suck. But honestly, I know that for many of you, this is Thanksgiving, and the next part of this post is going to be, well, gross. You don’t want to be reading the part of my journal (which I’ll be sharing with you), that talks explicitly about things that go on in the bathroom. That’s just not polite dinner conversation. Also, because it’s my journal, there will be a lot of cursing. You’ve been warned (or titillated. You know who you are).

Phew!

So, there you have it. I’ve pulled back the curtain and shared like never before. I have to tell you, it’s been strangely cathartic. And not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I’m no longer nervous about publishing this. I’m no longer afraid of disappointing you. If seeing my imperfect side, if realizing that just because I’m able to channel information doesn’t mean I’m automatically a master at applying it in all areas of my life, causes you to unfollow me or unlike me or tsk and shake your head at me, then I was never really the right teacher for you to begin with. But maybe, just maybe, my willingness to put myself out there, warts and all, vulnerable and exposed, will give some of you the courage to do the same. Because I promise you, I’m still here. I’m standing. And I’m no worse for the wear. In fact, I’m better.

Additional note of celebration: Today is my birthday (it’s really no coincidence that this post is coming out today…), and I’m getting ready to fly off to the island of Ibiza tomorrow morning, to spend a long, girly weekend of celebration, food and energy work with mah ladies. All I want for my birthday is that you perhaps share something of yourself in the comments, something authentic, maybe a little vulnerable. See how it feels. Take the leap. I promise, you’ll feel stronger for it.

Second note of celebration: Because this is also Thanksgiving in the US, and because of this post, I can’t think of a better day to thank all of you for being here. I know that you think you’ve come here in order to further your own evolution. But really, it’s a co-creation, and you all are helping me with my growth, as well. Today’s post is the perfect example of that. By providing me with the forum in which I can share so openly, so vulnerably, so authentically, you are giving me the opportunity to release my fear and expand my energy to new levels. I can’t even find the words to thank you enough or to express the incredible love I feel for all of you right now. You’re not here by accident. And neither am I. As Abraham says, “We’re all in this together”. And we really, really are. Thank you.

Oh my freaking God, I can’t wait to read your comments.

{ 111 comments }

Leah November 28, 2013 at 12:59

Been reading your blog for a while Melody, but I’ve never posted a comment. Thank you so much for this. I too have had lots of struggles with my weight… and I feel as if my body wants to lose more but I am having trouble finding something that works. I study nutrition relentlessly and I am fully aware of the generally “good” and “bad” things… yet I have not listened to my body. This post has shown me yet again that if I want to progress… I need to do that. It seems like I have a happy life besides the one last thing that bothers me… my weight.
I work out about 5 days a week, mostly doing dance practice/class (which I really enjoy). I also eat a REALLY clean diet by most standards and do some unorthodox healthy things (like take cold showers >.>). So it’s kind of strange in my estimation that girls my age (19) can eat crappy food and not work out, yet still be thinner than me and have a six pack. It must be some belief I’m holding on to- ‘cause I’m doing everything right!
This has gotten better in the past few months, however. My weight seems to like to stagnate at certain points and that seem to be a gage for my beliefs and my body’s sense of comfort. It has gone down steadily. Also, I have lots of muscle, like 30+ more lbs of muscle than an average girl for my height and weight. I was lifting lots of weights at one point in my life, but since I’m not I almost think that my body wants to hold on to it to compensate for something. Obviously I also have body fat, which seems to be distributed quite evenly around my body. Not sure of the significance of that, besides just “extra stuff”.
But from now on, I think the real success will come from listening to what my body wants and do what FEELS right rather than what I THINK is right. As much as I love nutrition information, sometimes the amount can be overwhelming and the real usefulness comes from going within, I suppose.

Flower November 28, 2013 at 13:20

Happy Birthday! Enjoy your weekend away. Thank you so much for this wonderful website. I look forward to your new posts all the time (and usually I’m not much, well not at all a blog reader). Come back to us all tan and fabulous, promise? =)

Laetitia Hannan November 28, 2013 at 13:59

Melody, happy birthday, I wish you an awesome, delicious day and a wonderful time away with your friends.

You ask us to share something about our own vulnerability, so here is mine: for a long time now I have been withdrawing from people, even dear friends. This is because I have been feeling so utterly crap about myself, about life and the universe in general that I felt I had absolutely nothing to offer anyone, even beloved friends. I stopped contacting people, and began to view the phone as the devil’s spawn. I began to dislike people as a whole, and I couldn’t tell anyone, either. What would I say? Everyone goes through crap, so how was my crap such that I could forsake my friends and the human race in general? But be with anyone I just couldn’t (except, of course, at work, no option there)

Now, after having found you website, exactly a week ago, I feel once again that I have something to put into a conversation and am starting to look forward to possibly touching the phone again, a little. And I feel now I can maybe tell the loved ones I shied away from why (without the story of triumph!! I so got that and loved that post). I have released more rubbish in this week simply by following your maxim of deciding to feel better (I knew that, having read Abraham years ago, but I just didn’t get it until your amazing, funny, intelligent, irreverent and downright dirty posts!! I adore them) than I have doing EFT for years.

So, I say thank you, just a simple word, but the emotion behind it is gigantic.

Have a fabulous day.
xx

lorraine November 28, 2013 at 14:21

Hi Melody
Happy birthday and Ibiza is a lovely island – if you haven’t been before – you will love it!
I remember saying to you on a call that the most beautiful blog you had written was ‘Does God Exist’ and this post stands with that one. I have spent the last two days ‘confused’ because I have moved so much negative energy around a particular belief and after Sunday’s call I realised it was now about fine tuning however what I want to show up (which is beginning to turn into a need) still isn’t showing up. So right now I feel vulnerable and saying to myself ‘I don’t know what else I can do to get it to show up’ but reading this post shows me I need to dig deeper and concentrate more on the feeling and not on the ‘thing’ Take Care xx

claire November 28, 2013 at 14:37

Happy birthday Melody. Hope you have a good day. Your website snd coaching calls have helped me a lot since I found you.

Lisa November 28, 2013 at 14:49

Dear Melody,

First of all, I wish you a very, very happy shiny puppy birthday :-)

Secondly, thank you for sharing your story. This is exactly why I read your blog. You just give it to us straight from the shoulder. It is authentic and sincere. Most importantly, it inspires me to do the same. I can imagine why it took you some time to address this particular issue, but I am glad you did. I am in the middle of a process of overcoming my fear of “taking off the masks” as you once put it in one of your posts. Although I’ve been following your blog for two years now I’ve been hesitant to leave a comment on your blog because English isn’t my first language and I’m a bit insecure about that (how ridiculous are the reasons that hold us back to step into the world LOL). Today’s post inspired me to step out of my comfort zone and do it anyway. So, tada :-)
About the liver cleansing experience, so far I’ve done 8 of them. The first time I got really really sick, but I released (or actually pooped out, pardon my French) a lot of anger that day. I wasn’t even aware that I had so much anger in me. However, for me it was just the beginning of my ‘soul searching journey’ (yeah yeah, I know it sounds mushy but it is true). Anyway, I think the liver cleansing process is very helpful when you have some unresolved issues (and who doesn’t). It is worth the mess ;-)

Have a wonderful birthday/ mini-vacation!!!
Hugs,

Lisa

ps: my boyfriend recently said to me: “you’ve become such a nice person since you started reading that blog, I should send Melody some flowers”. How cool is that!

Elle November 28, 2013 at 14:49

Birthday blessings Melody. Isn’t life grand. We totally get that it’s an inside job and still are trying to ‘fix’ things on the outside first. Whilst all the time, what we need, we already have. Whether the thing is weight, or money, or love, or health, doesn’t really matter does it…go within. Consciousness is the only reality and things appear or disappear as we change our consciousness.

Thank you for being willing to share this part of your journey. We’re all in this together, always expanding (hopefully) and perfectly imperfect…

I’m going your way, so let us go hand in hand. You help me and I’ll help you. We shall not be here very long, let us help one another while we may.
Elle invites you to read..An Unconventional Path To Liking YourselfMy Profile

John November 28, 2013 at 16:03

Elle:

“I’m going your way, so let us go hand in hand. You help me and I’ll help you. We shall not be here very long, let us help one another while we may.”

I really really like what you said here! I have never heard that principle expressed in quite that way.

So thank you (this is Thanksgiving Day, after all) !

John

Caroline Owens November 28, 2013 at 14:51

Melody,

Happy Birthday and have a fantastic, fun filled, belly ache laughing weekend with your ladies…. Thank you for you putting yourself out there like that. I may even love you a bit more now…. You are a true inspiration and keep up the good work… I always look forward to your posts but this one resonated very deeply with me. Your sharing will help me with my own limiting beliefs and body issues.

Caroline xx

beth November 28, 2013 at 14:57

THANK YOU! Just yesterday, a guy at work stopped me and said, “Can I ask you something personal?” I think I scared the s**t out of him when, immediately I replied, “I wish you would!” Seeing the look on his face, I clarified by telling him that after 2 years at this job, nobody has bothered to try to find out anything personal about me, and when I try to get to know some of them, they shut themselves off. “How are we supposed to learn and grow if we don’t share?”, I asked him.

So, thank you for sharing and allowing us to grow and learn more about ourselves, as a collective, in the process.

Happy Birthday

Nancy November 28, 2013 at 14:59

Well, I had to drop everything (my Kindle) and hotfoot to the computer so I could really reply (I cannot do anything extensive on the Kindle). I don’t even like to read on it (then why did I get it you ask? Because) but when I got the notification, I had to read your blog right then and there!

Enough babbling: I have struggled with my weight for years and even after our phone call (for which I am still grateful), I still struggle. It seems the past few weeks or more, all I do is focus on losing weight. Now being an Abraham devotee also, I realize that I am focusing on the wrong thing but seem unable to focus on other things. I’ve narrowed it down that for some reason, I don’t want to lose weight because of the repercussions that could come about, which I won’t elaborate on right now.

I realize that because I’m not getting enjoyment from life or I feel something is missing, I use food for enjoyment but in that double-edged sword, the enjoyment is short-lived and then I feel worse than ever for not being able to keep up with the grandiose plans I have for improving myself physically.

I had decided to just go for nutrition and healthy choices but that never lasts longer than a meal or a snack.

I do believe, since I felt emotion welling up whilst reading your blog, that I have emotional issues that I have avoided dealing with which has been a pattern all my life. I’d like to think I’m ready to release them. Guess I’ll find out on Monday, eh?

Happiest of happy birthdays, dear Melody. I thank the Universe for connecting me with you.

Marisa November 28, 2013 at 15:01

Dear Melody!!!! Happy Birthday!!!!!

I cannot find words to thank you for this posting. You are an incredible being, thank you for openning your heart and showing us that even our teachers, mentor struggle with some issues and it is in each of us to slow down, look carefully, face it and move on.
I am eager to know more about your experience about the liver cleansing, there is not by accident that I am reading your blog.

Enjoy your time in Ibiza, have fun, laugh, sing, breath, walk, run, jump feel the relieve of this energy you were holding for so long. You are lighter my friend, enjoy your flight. Love
Marisa invites you to read..My Liver Cleansing Experience Part I – The Most Vulnerable Post I’ve Ever WrittenMy Profile

Debbie O'Connor November 28, 2013 at 15:12

Hi Melody, I reade every single one of your posts – and most of it manages to resonate with me on one level or another. i also lost weight – five years ago now – and even became a Cambridge diet consultant, but I didn’t find happiness. Ove rht efollwong three years I put all the weight back on again, and for the last year or so I have stayed steady at what I used to consider was ‘my awful fat weight’. Ive done some work with a coach this year, and we seem to be coming to the conclusion that i don’t really want to lose the weight – in fact I’m happy as I am and resent anybody’s suggestion that I may want to lose.

So who knew? I am now just trying to get to grips with not getting on the scales every day, and with focusing in eating healthy stuff (instead of calire counting/starvation). I’m planning to do my first detox after Christmas and I also regularly listen to stuff from Thinking Slimmer because it really heps with my mindset.

So what I have to say is – thin is not always the answer -so go for your own bliss whatever it is.
Debbie O’Connor invites you to read..Waiting for Inspiration or Practising Creativity?My Profile

Jo Dodson November 28, 2013 at 15:17

Happy Birthday Melody ! Thank you for your blog and your honesty. You are truly a wonder and a healer. This has been a difficult year for me. My mother passed, a relationship ended, and a former student and friend took his own life. I was lost, depressed , and full of fear. In my grief and constant search for relief I found your blog. Bingo. There are no accidents. Every word resonated with me. Finally, things began to make some sense again. I remembered my love of Indian philosophy in college and how right so much of it felt. I returned to meditation using self discipline this time to really stay with it. I am releasing and learning every day and I cannot thank you enough. Oddly enough, a dear friend of mine gave me The Secret a few years ago… I hated it. But when I saw your blog title something just told me “now this is someone I can get into, cuss words and all!” Authentic and real. Yes ma’m. You have been a HUGE inspiration for me and I thank you, sincerely. Much love and gratitude to you. Jo Claire Dodson

Amber November 28, 2013 at 15:25

Melody, I am truely touched by your post and I am so thankful for your vulnerability! This helps me to know that it really is about the journey (being happy NOW) and that hey! one day I can get to the level where you are too! Thanks for sharing as lately this has been happening to me and I never had an issue with my weight before. Like you, I’m a nutrition freak and I’ve been gaining weight. I resonated with you completely. Truly brought tears to my eyes on this Thanksgiving and I look forward to your future posts. Happy birthday!!!

Mopey child November 28, 2013 at 15:38

Yesssss…th weight !!! I’m struggling with it too. But I’m just not able to let go of this dread of being fat…and so I’ve become just that. Waiting for something that works for me !! I reallyyyyyyyyy want to shift my dread…but can’t figure out how to :(

samantha November 28, 2013 at 15:45

Hi Melody, wishing you a Very Happy Birthday.
as a believer in LOA for many years now and yes my life is better than all my positive thoughts/visualization had even imagined, that I have got scared to want more, as part of me thinks what I have should be enough.
I had an issue with being under fed, lack of self worth and not being wanted, having addressed the first 2, I am however, still single, focusing on what I don’t want rather than what I do want, after reading your blog, I get it… its ok to not like yellow paint, focus on what I do like, BRILLIANT!

Melody, have a great day :)

Mariana Galvagno November 28, 2013 at 15:45

Happy birthday! I started following you some months ago and even though I dont comment on your website, I do read each post. Eagerly. Some of them resonate in me, some dont. But I always find something to take with me. I want to congratulate you on this new step of your journey and thank you for letting us be part of it. We are walking together. All of us. And we keep each other company in our own vulnerabilities. Sending you my light, from Valencia Spain.

Cori November 28, 2013 at 15:50

Happy Birthday Melody!
What i don’t understand: why did intuitive eating lead you to eating only 800-1500 calories in the first place? It obviously wrecked your metabolism.

Melody Fletcher November 28, 2013 at 16:42

Hey Cori,

It wasn’t the intuitive eating that had wrecked my metabolism; it was the years and years of dieting that came before that. But the liver also plays a huge role in metabolism, so cleaning it way up may well make a huge difference. Although, I don’t feel like I eat that little. I’m quite satisfied. When I try to eat more, it doesn’t feel good. So this level of food works well for me. :)

Huge hugs,

Melody
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Cori November 28, 2013 at 17:40

Thanks for the reply :-)

Shirley November 28, 2013 at 15:50

Best wishes Birthday Girl. I have saved every one of your newsletters since January this year and I am amazed at how far (we) I have come! Thank you, your efforts are appreciated! Oh, and about being imperfect, big fruck, isn’t that how we grow? Besides, one of my favourite LOA expressions is “The better it (we) gets, THE BETTER IT (WE) GETS!

Lori Gosselin November 28, 2013 at 16:06

Melody! Bravo!!! This is not only an expression of vulnerability but a sharing of a perfect recipe for manifesting. Love what is and listen to the messages! I can apply this to my big challenges and I’m sure sure others can do the same.
I didn’t know Abraham said “we’re all in this together”! I know our Canadian Red Green says it and the newest book I’m loving says that Quantum physics says it and I say it on my blog! LOL, it’s true. We can learn so much from one another and the forum you created is a co-creation for everyone’s growth and learning.
XO
Lori
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Ann November 28, 2013 at 16:16

Happy Birthday Marvelous Melody! Enjoy every bit of your time away and celebration of your life!!! As usual your topic comes at a time that I need it. After discovering I have some hormonal issues I decided I needed to take a little extra care and cleanse my liver. I had no idea where to begin with so many products on the market(some that contain things that aren’t good for my body – I do not respond well to psyllium). I had just began researching this when I read your post. Can’t wait to hear more. Again, Happy Birthday and Happy Thanksgiving.

minnie November 28, 2013 at 16:30

“My weight has been the source of my biggest frustration, my biggest pain and my biggest shame.”
“I raged against the Universe, my body, the unfairness of it all, the beauty standard, the people from my childhood who had convinced me I was fat long before I actually was, the gym teachers who had turned physical exercise into a hated and humiliating experience, the diet industry, every diet book I’d ever read, every unknowledgeable practitioner, doctor and nutritionist I’d ever been to. ”

My life in a nutshell. I’ve had surgery to shed 100 pounds (because my metabolism is burnt, the endocrinologist said, and nothing worked, i gained weight even by drinking water) and now im stuck and i cant lose more weight, even though i have a long way to go. so thank you so much for this post, for putting yourself out there and sharing your experience and your freaking out and your ways of finding (or at least coming close to) a solution. cant wait for the next part of the blog.

John November 28, 2013 at 16:32

Melody:

I am awed at your courage in opening your heart in this very vulnerable way! The best teachers are those who have lived what they are teaching. You are showing us that a person can be vulnerable in very big way, live to tell the tale, and come out stronger, with more insight and clarity.

As you have said many times, and as many other teachers have said, there is ultimately absolutely NOTHING to fear, PERIOD, no buts! However, it is also true that, as Abraham says, words do not really teach, we learn by experience.

You are helping us learn this principle through your experience and your example. You put yourself out there and, as you said, you are still standing. Probably my biggest area of vulnerability has to do with putting my beliefs out in public.

I am not quite ready for more detailed sharing of vulnerable parts of me in a public forum. I do not yet have your courage in that area, although I am pretty good on a ropes course.

Have a marvelous birthday (I know you will!) and a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!

Huge hugs,

John

Melissa November 28, 2013 at 16:52

amazing post Meloday – happy birthday!! and congratulations on overcoming your fear of ‘pulling back the curtain’ – as I was reading I was reminded of Geneen Roth’s book Women, Food, and God and that ultimately our weight isn’t about food or exercise either.

As for my own authentic self, my weight has also been an issue for me for a very long time, and as much as I am drawn to sharing my struggles and vulnerabilities with the world it’s something that still really scares me. People always think i’m so ‘real’ but i feel that i’m just a tourist a lot of times when it comes to personal development – i read about it and preach about it but don’t actually KNOW it, because i’m terrified of what i’ll uncover if i really let myself delve deep into my emotional psyche to do some really serious clearing.

Joey November 28, 2013 at 16:53

Holy cow, what courage!

I’m eager to see what the protocol is (damn you) but still, I understand where you’re coming from. I lost 50 pounds several years ago and it has been a constant struggle to keep it off and in the past 2 months it’s been especially hard now that it’s wintertime and I can’t go outside and do fun stuff.

I didn’t realize it at the time but staying active was what kept my weight off. Even though I’m cooped up at home I try to do some exercises but it still doesn’t hold a candle to riding a motorcycle or going on a road trip. So I’ve had to work on meditation and even astral projection to focus on enjoying the moment instead of just wallowing around in boredom.

And as for exposing that you are not a (gasp) perfect person, well that makes it all the better because it allows the audience to relate to you. Don’t you get frustrated or discouraged when you read about some oh-so-mighty person with no flaws and think, “wow I’ll never get there”? By at least fessing up people will actually get encouraged, “Wow even this person screwed up and overcame it, there is hope for me!”

Kudos and I am looking forward to part 2!

Nicole November 28, 2013 at 17:35

Happy Birthday Melody! it is my sincere belief that you are such a gifted, radiant, and brilliant soul. Thankyou for sharing your powerful insights with us. I love you and feel so blessed that you were born at such a specific time as to benefit my spiritual journey. thankyou for being vulnerable and giving me permission to do the same! Also, I can’t wait for Monday, liver support is so essential in this ultra toxic world in which we live. I can’t wait for you to spread a little consciousness there. anyways to sum it up: 1. You Rock 2. Stoked for Monday.

Happy Birthday!

Jennifer November 28, 2013 at 17:40

First things first- Happy Birthday!!!
And what an awesome post. It is a wonderful reminder that this is a journey, all of it. I appreciate your vulnerability and I’ll share some of mine (and this is timely, of course, cause I had this hit me in the face yesterday in a huge, huge way): My life has been defined by trying to ‘not look stupid’. All of it. The schools I’ve gone to, the places I’ve worked, the clothes I wear, the things I say and don’t say- all of it. It has been a pervasive driving force in my life. I’ve always been hiding. It runs deeper than the normal wanting to put your best foot forward- I’ve always, for almost as long as I can remember, constantly been ashamed of myself and trying to hide parts of myself and feeling that I had no choice but to do so- and that sucks.
Now that I get it I can work on choosing a different pov, but it’s not an easy thing to admit, even to myself. Thank you, Melody, for the courage :-)

marina November 28, 2013 at 17:42

Melody, an awesome happy birthday to you!!
I am looking forward to reading your liver flush experience on Monday!
I tried to do 2 liver cleanses already (herb capsules)…but stopped because I ended up feeling soooo bad the first couple of days. Not sure why…
by the way, also having passion for nutrition and food, it never occurred to me to ask my body what it wants. I will be doing it from now on.

By the way, I have been meditating for 24 days now, and i found how to meditate from your explanation (in your articles section). It was the best explanation i ever read and i loved it. who knew meditation is not that hard. but has so many benefits – i am definitely a nicer, more energetic person because of it and it had become one of my favorite part of the day (even it is only for 20 minutes). :) also it seems i can get a way with less sleep now, which is ALWAYS a bonus lol
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Nevila November 28, 2013 at 18:08

Happy birthday Melody, all the best!

kanika November 28, 2013 at 18:13

Hey melody…. Happy b ‘day sweetheart….you r such a blessing in my life…love you loads.. Huge happy shiny puppy hugs and kisses… :-* :-D

Just call me A. November 28, 2013 at 18:14

Best wishes for your birthday, Melody! Have a great trip!

On this thanksgiving, I am very grateful for this blog! Every aspect of it helps with the journey we are all on. Thanks for reminding us that it’s about the feelings, not the things. Co-creation is really cool. I see it happening all the time now. I’ve come a long way since I started reading this blog. My vulnerability is that I’m still working on my career. It’s been slow, but steady. Every day is another opportunity to get closer to where I want to go. So, I’m not too concerned about the time anymore and instead on knowing that I will get there one day and that it’s on its way!

Rock on!

Quinn November 28, 2013 at 18:24

Happy Birthday !

Cant see how I could add more to the above comments however the one thing I find terrible sexy in a women is when she shows her “worts and all”, yummy :) .
O.K. here’s your present,
I’v been detoxing too, I’m a 48 year old single male, doctor, athlete, “nice guy” (trained by my 4 sisters), you would think a great catch, well I am, however I needed to detox and look inwards to find some stuff out cause my relationships were not working out. Why? I Could not let myself be vulnerable. So after my last relationship ended, I’ll just say it, I was really fucked up for a very long time, guilt, saddness,anger,…depression, even as I write my tears are welling up, I could not understand how things could be so great and then go south so fast. So I stopped, I just stopped everything for about 16 months and admitted I had some shit going on cause the one thing that I really wanted was just not happening, I was feeling crushed under my feelings of failure. So I got clean, and allowed myself to feel the pain…all of it and there was a lot, I cried ever day for like 14 months, I took no drugs, no alcohol, quite any substance that would block or numb my feelings…I am now a puddle of goo. Well about 2 weeks ago things started to really turn around with an insight. My mother was an alcoholic albeit part-time, when I was young, very young. Early one Sunday morning she was really hung-over and being very verbally bitchy and nasty, I tried to say something to her about how uncomfortable I felt and how hard it was to be around her, she then took off a shoe from her foot and started hitting me on my head with it as my farther just watched and did nothing. From that time on I guess i decided subconsciously not to let any women hurt me again especially the ones I really loved and I had fear of saying how I truly felt…I would not let myself be vulnerable and would protect myself. Well as you can figure out that’s no good for intimate relationships. So here is how the program runs……get super close, lots of love love love then I perceive I’m going to get hurt, don’t say anything….you know like having a normal conversation about my concerns and how I’m feeling about things…God forbid I actually communicate….so I loose my shit and separate from the situation. miss her terrible we then get back together 2-3 weeks later, I have missed her terrible for that time, she is trying to show affection, I cant seem to say what is in my heart and we go our separate ways and I’m upside-down for the next year or so as she moves on and finds another guy, I actually prey for her to have love and warmth during this time from my guilt and the cycle continues till the next time. But no longer!! I know that it will be hard for me as it was for you but this time “Im going to say how i feel, I know sounds so….”.like dude of course duh”, but you see at my job I cant show or truely share how I feel, I had crazy subconscious programing to not express that and so here it is…my story and I feel really vulnerable right now, like a lot and I feel like I want to run, but I wont, this time I’m staying :)
…..and I’m going to press “submit”, how funny is that, I’m submitting [to] my vulnerability, the irony of it all :)

Happy birthday !
xoxoxo

DawnStar November 29, 2013 at 01:41

Surrendering is one of the most powerful and most compassionate things we can do for ourSelves Quinn.

Much love

Quinn November 29, 2013 at 04:36

Much love indeed, thank you. Blessings to you too.

Stella November 29, 2013 at 10:03

Thank you for sharing your vulnerability, you have given of yourself and healed by so doing :-)

nay November 30, 2013 at 21:32

Quinn, thanks for sharing, your vulnerability has touched me, and I am certain that there is nothing more appealing for other women also, than when a man allows his authentic self to shine through. Best wishes x

Moonsparkle December 3, 2013 at 04:05

Well done for being vulnerable and sharing that. :) It’s great that you got an insight into the reasons behind your relationships not working out. I find it hard to be vulnerable too but I’m working on it. I found this post (and others in the series) very helpful:

http://www.ablogaboutlove.com/2012/03/vulnerability-step-one.html#more

Hope it helps you and/or anyone else reading who it resonates with. :)
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B November 28, 2013 at 18:25

Congratulations on this amazing blog post, Melody, as insightful as ever and definitely looking forward to reading your next one(s)! I’ve recently been through a similar process; over the last 3 or so months, I have lost about 30 pounds. One day I was suddenly struck to begin studying nutrition (a cheap course found its way into my email inbox and I’m studying it now) and in addition to that, I began to work with self-respect affirmations but now I’ve found that I’ve plateaued and couldn’t quite fathom why, so this post couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you for this my dear, I greatly appreciate it <3

A very happy birthday to you, Melody! Hope you have an amazing time in Ibiza, and happy Thanks Giving xxx :P

Stephen November 28, 2013 at 18:30

I just to take this moment to thank you for all of your insight and to also wish you a Happy Birthday. The past few months I have been reading your blog and it has really helped me in every aspect of my life. Thank you so much for all of the guidance you’ve provided so far and I can’t wait to read your future posts.

Margaret Harvey November 28, 2013 at 18:42

Happy birthday to you Melody! Again, your blog provided clarity, validation of my experience. Thank you, thank you!

Zara November 28, 2013 at 18:47

Hi Melody,

Wish you an awesome b’day and equally awesome days throughout life!

You are an amazing being! What you’ve shared on this post is simply incredible. After reading this, for the first time, I feel like I too can reach for and actually get the things I want despite my failures!I used to get discouraged thinking that my failures to apply the teachings (of Abe, you, and all those enlightened masters) meant that I’m not ‘evolved enough’ for this path. I know the teachings to be true with every fibre in my body, yet the doubt if I’m evolved enough to really apply them haunted me. But after reading this, I’m ready to accept my failures as part of my growth!

A BIG Thank You!!!

Hugs!

Sammi November 28, 2013 at 18:58

Hi Melody.

Happy birthday. Have an awesome time in Ibiza with your friends!

Thank you so much for that awesome post and for sharing your vulnerability with us.

I too have a pretty major vulnerability. And that is all about my looks. I think I know where it stems from but am obviously missing something since I still have that issue.

I’ve worked on it a lot to the point where some days I can look in the mirror and think I look great. But too many days I look in the mirror and just think I look either very plain or positively ugly.

The same holds true for my weight but I think it’s less about the weight than my self image. The tummy too large for the rest of my body just helps me to look bad.

And yet, many days I can feel good about myself and see the beauty. I know I need to love myself exactly as I am but self love is something that I haven’t quite sorted out.

And this whole bad self image is something I’m generally too embarrassed to discuss since my friends often compliment me so they very obviously don’t see me in the ugly light I often see myself. And for someone so enlightened, you’d think I’d have got it right by now. I’ve done the meditations, the affirmations, the self help books. And still haven’t got the hang of truly loving myself as I am 24/7.

And most times if I think of my “problems” or things to work on, this doesn’t even cross my mind any more. But reading your post, kinda smacked me around the head with the fact that I’ve still not got the self love thing right.

You really are an inspiration to me, knowing that even you have issues like your weight. It means that there is hope for me getting this right at some point.

And lol, just typing this has made me realise my negative feelings about myself is yet another one of my smoking triggers.

Big smooshy kisses and happy shiny puppy hugs to you.

Katie November 28, 2013 at 19:31

I have also struggled with my weight since typical US “mean girl” experiences when I was 13. I’ve been working hard on various energy shifting practices and your writings and help have been hugely helpful to me. Over the prior three years the weight has gradually come off of me. The first 2 years it was general life changing events like moving that helped. Then about 1 year ago I found your blog and started getting back in touch with LOA materials. Within the prior several months, when I ramped up my energy work big time, my weight loss has effortlessly accelerated. I haven’t weighed myself in at least a year but I’ve happily bought new clothes in a size lower than my goal size. I now define myself as “tiny” and it feels great. And I can attest to the belief that it is not about the food. I’ve been intuitively led to eat differently (predominantly eat more saturated fats like coconut oil and drink homemade bone broths), but I think it is my relationship to food that makes the difference. I have almost no fear the weight will come back on. Food is my friend and my body trusts me to feed it, so it doesn’t hang onto everything. Also I’m no longer using weight as a shield to protect myself. Being more comfortable being vulnerable and imperfect helps.

As you mentioned, there will likely always be issues and things to work on and as I’ve moved through my weight issues (which were all-consuming for at least 12 years), I’ve uncovered more and more fears related to money and security in the world. This has become my new area of vulnerability – making peace with where I am financially and experiencing self-acceptance in my current place. It’s not easy and it’s iterative and I’m working at it everyday. Responding differently to all the negative money manifestations that I’ve been having in the past month has been a biiiitch! But, with the use of your teachings and the others the Universe kindly brings me, I’m very optimistic I will shift these too and I can’t wait.

Good luck with this most recent aspect of your journey. I am very thankful to have found you and your blog especially today, this Thanksgiving. :)

And happy birthday!!!

Heart,
Katie

M. Kay Clark November 28, 2013 at 19:43

I am so thankful I opened your blog again this morning. Happy birthday, Safe travels and come back soon!

I have been on my path for many years. It started when I was 20. I won’t go there now, but I would say that most of us here know that trauma or crisis in one’s life brings with it the lessons and truths we need to heal our inner heart and soul.

My most effective time at being tuned into my inner life was in the past and it always had to do with writing in my journal and asking questions just before going to sleep and posting those questions in my journal. A dream came along perhaps the next day or a couple of days later which answered the question and that spurred me into more journal work/joy and more intuition and revelations from within which made me happy ultimately and perhaps not in that exact moment. There is for me a sadness, anger, relief of some kind which follows the “ah ha” moment coming from a dream or any other answer the Universe presents. Listening, both inner and in the daily life listening, is key to receiving answers.

Your post hit me on this Thanksgiving morning and led me back to this work/joy of self discovery and healing. I somehow turned away from it a few years ago and my life has been a constant struggle now for more than 10 years. Being alone, self imposed isolation, not asking for help, being unable to say no when someone else needs help, feeling powerless, feeling unworthy and SHAME seem to be the drivers of my life. When I review what I do for others in my work and otherwise, it is puzzling to me. I do know that it is an inner change which needs to take place, and I also know the answers are within me, and I need to place my intention there instead of engaging my ego to forcefully change outward manifestations.

I have felt my overall energy waning and I have been off and on doing cleanses and changing my food habits. Years ago I was in AA until I figured out I wasn’t an alcoholic but I had alcoholic behavioral toxicity due to the family in which I was raised. Your blog is a place I need to visit daily as I practiced while going to AA. It was a daily reminder that I can change, others inspire me to new levels, happiness can and does happen and regardless of the outward manifestations in the now, things which are not in good order now can and will change as long as I am asking for the help from within, and expecting it as I move through my daily life.

Thanks to all of you for being here today. I am going to look into my liver’s needs and see what it wants to tell me. And I am going to start with some additional journal writing in response to a dream/nightmare I had last night.

Blessings and thanks to all.

Kay

A.Blindy November 28, 2013 at 19:58

I would like to thank you for being so open about what’s really going on, and telling your story in this way. I feel that many spiritual and personal development teachers tell their stories as if they had problems, and they magically cured them. They only do this though to persuade people to buy their products which they say will help everyone in the same way it helped them. I wouldn’t be surprised if many of them also lie just to make sales.
But you are different. You seem to be the most transparent of all spiritual and personal development teachers I have heard of yet.
Thank you for being authentic in that way; for having a different aura, if you wish, than many of the others.
And happy birthday.

christine November 28, 2013 at 20:02

Hi Melody. Happy, happy Birthday!

I just want you to know that finding you saved ME. I very recently (last few weeks) got out of a toxic, abusive relationship. Many a night, you were my better feeling place and “what would Melody say” became a running theme in my head.

I couldn’t get out of the relationship, no matter how much I knew that I should but I kept coming here, I kept practicing feeling better and I kept waiting for that moment when my vibration would be high enough that he would simply drift away. It all came to a head a few weeks ago when he hit me. I freaked out and called 911 but I immediately hung up. Well, the police showed up anyway and he was arrested and issued a no contact order. This gave me the space and time I needed to breathe and ground myself. And meanwhile, I kept coming here.

It hasn’t been easy and I have backtracked a little bit, talking to him here and there but I keep coming back to feeling better and taking care of me and I get stronger every day. I don’t exactly know what beliefs I’m holding on to that allowed me to get into that relationship or why I still feel a sense of obligation to him but I am working on it and I know I will get there.

So thank you Melody, from the bottom of my heart. You’re a rock star.

April November 28, 2013 at 20:13

Melody! Firstly, happy birthday. Ironically, my birthday is approaching as well (Dec 2nd). I’ve been reading your blog for a few months and let me tell you how helpful and awesome it is. Like you! I know you’ve heard that plenty of times before, though. I’ve never posted a comment on one of your blogs before, but I felt like I wanted to now. I’d actually seen your blog months ago, but I’ve only began to read it recently. I suppose I wasn’t ready for it yet back then. :) Anyway, all ramblings aside (sorry, I ramble a lot)…

I wasn’t disappointed when you began to open up about this. I actually cried! Your experience was a lot like mine. Last year, I’d gained 10 lbs in a short time and I had a major breakdown. I felt so sad, angry and disappointed. That moment definitely showed me how heavy the emotions and beliefs were around my weight. That was even after knowing about the law of attraction. Before then, I struggled even more. I felt so uncomfortable in my body, I counted calories, I exercised and so on. Sometimes I’d gotten results but other times I would sabotage myself with my own thoughts! I ended up losing 20 lbs and gaining it back.

But now I’m happy to report something… I’ve come to a lot of the realizations that you have, Melody. :) My body works best when I trust it, when I’m positive about it. From shifting my thoughts alone, my blood pressure has lowered, my heart rate is now normal and I’m pretty sure my body has experienced other good changes that I don’t know of. However, when I was pessimistic and insecure about my food and weight, I had a high blood pressure and heart rate. I blamed food for my weight gain and bodily issues. But recently I had an aha moment that my bodily pains were probably caused by my resistance to the food than the food itself! I’ve also noticed a change in appetite. My food satisfies quicker than it used to. I also get this subtle feeling in my stomach that lets me know that I’m getting full and I don’t know why I didn’t notice it prior. There are foods also that don’t interest me anymore for some reason. But I don’t mind that because I didn’t have to force myself to stop eating that thing. Besides that, I pretty much eat the same way though. My freedom is very important to me so I’m glad I don’t have to do the things that once made me feel not-so-free. As for my weight, as long as I trust my body, I can pretty much eat anything and maintain or lose weight. But when I go into distrust, into fear, my resistance shows up on the scale.

You know, at one point I never thought I’d feel beautiful. I had severely low self-esteem in the past. But recently I’m beginning to love myself for the sake of loving myself. My body and I are becoming good friends and I’m glad. :) Anyway, thank YOU Melody for this amazing blog and for being so amazing yourself. Happy birthday to you!

April

Rose November 28, 2013 at 20:18

Thank you darling Melody for this awesome post! It’s beautiful, just like you. You are a genuine, REAL, AUTHENTIC, spiritual, loving person Melody. I have never met another like you. And to top it all, today being Thanksgiving Day, I get to THANK GOD for this amazing baby who was born today. Yay!

Here is your birthday gift: I feel horrible I missed the call with you today. I thought it was at 2:30 P.M. for whatever reason. I was trying to hurry away from home to be in time for my 2:30 call and because my husband was around and I wanted to be alone. And when I saw your missed call, my heart just stopped working. I feel like I cannot make it in this world without you. You are my BIGGEST inspiration and everything that comes from me, I feel it is actually because you helped get me out from a ditch and brought me to a place where I can breathe, so it comes from you. I feel so vulnerable when I think I might gravitate out of your reality because of my weirdness and that frightens me. Happy Birthday!

Clare November 28, 2013 at 21:04

Happy Birthday Melody!

Thank you for writing such an honest and authentic post and you can see how much it is appreciated by the large number of comments.

When I first commenced on my own spiritual journey I hid it from my family and friends having been brought up a Catholic I had many many limiting beliefs, and issues with worthiness all due to these religious teachings, so I concealed my true self and my journey from my family, through fear.

Then it got to the point that I was so uncomfortable hiding who I truly was and after releasing limiting beliefs and working through resistance. I took the leap of faith and started to tell family and friends my beliefs now and more or less said this is me, this is who I am.

Some friends and family gravitated out of my life, some gently some not so much, what people don’t understand they tend to dismiss and think you have lost your mind!!

Thing is it was the best thing I ever did, as mostly everyone was supportive and now for everyone who gravitated out of my life because they were no longer a match to me, have been replaced by awesome friends and my life still just gets better and better.

I no longer worry about anyone judging me, at the end of the day, their judgement is a reflection of them, not me and not looking for anyone’s approval is so freeing and powerful.

So glad so shared such a personal story about whats been going on in your life, way to go!

Clare
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Stacie November 28, 2013 at 21:34

I haven’t finished reading this post yet. After I reached, “If any part of it resonates with you…”, I burst into tears. Full on sobbing! So, I am allowing the tears to flow and choosing to enjoy the release. But I will be back…

Stacie November 28, 2013 at 22:12

Ok. I’m back, and basking in my post-cry glow! I have two best friends who know, together, know everything about me…except what I’m about to share with you all. Over the past two years, I’ve gained approx. 90 lbs. My confidence has plummeted and I am uncomfortable in my own skin. I make every effort to stay inside, and days pass without my leaving the house. Somewhere along the line, the scale became the reverse indicator of my self worth. So, a few months ago I decided to stop weighing myself.

Now, enough sharing and vulnerability, and on with the celebrating. Happy birthday, Melody, and enjoy every moment of you “girlfriends’ getaway”!

Edelweiss November 28, 2013 at 21:53

Happy birthday Melody! I hope you have had a wonderful time.

Ok, as I have received so much help from this blog, I am going to get vulnerable as you asked. The first dirty secret I have to share is that I gave up on life a few years ago. I just couldn’t take the pain and the struggle any more and I just wanted to die. I didn’t want to hurt my parents by actually committing suicide, so I made a pact with myself that I would wait until they are gone. Well the universe had a few other plans and basically bitch-slapped me awake and yanked me into a position where I wanted to be around. I am still nowhere near doing well yet, but I think I am starting to make a little progress.

I did a liver cleanse earlier this year. I found it very harsh, so I don’t think I will do it again, but I also took the opportunity of doing to the cleanse to release the taking of codeine every four hours – my second very, very dirty secret. I had been doing this for about 20 years and I stopped taking all painkillers and did a detox leading up to the cleanse. It feels good having done that.

In terms of weight, well, I was always the skinny kid. In fact, so skinny that my mother kept threatening to put me in hospital if I lost any more weight. And then some years ago (around the end of my last relationship), I gained a huge amount of weight and I have never been able to shift it. I also have skin problems, which are somehow worse. Having big thighs is one thing, having whale belly white big thighs with extra blemishes is just nasty. I am doing my best to just be sensible about eating and exercise now as I don’t want to stop eating again as I have done so often in the past. But it is quite hard not to overreact. And that brings me to the final vulnerable thing I can stand to share – my singledom has lasted 11 years. I didn’t even notice.

At the moment I am trying to get my vibration up and mostly falling down into old thought patterns. I have no area in my life that is actually working, so there is no frame of reference to use as an anchor. I really want to turn things around – quickly. This blog has been an essential part of that process for me. I am so glad that I found it – or that I was lead to it.

Thank you Melody. And hope you have a great weekend.

Edelweiss November 28, 2013 at 21:57

Ha ha, I just realised that I clicked Send without proofreading this comment – now that is vulnerable!!

paddy November 28, 2013 at 22:02

Happy birthday Melody, enjoy yourself and have fun.
xxx

Lene November 28, 2013 at 22:44

Thank you for sharing! You are so very brave! :) I have also struggled with my weight for the last couple of years. And I have now found that I use my extra pounds as protection. My biggest fear are what other people think of me, and I understand that my body tries to protect me from being rejected and ignored. Im constantly working on changing my beliefs and I now feel better about myself. But I still having trouble letting go of the pounds. On saturday I will start a week of detoxing and I feel like my body will reveal something big. I cant wait for you liver cleansing blog post on monday! The synchronicity makes me smile! Congratulations on being more of who you really are and happy birthday!

Gaile November 28, 2013 at 22:58

Hi Melody, thank you so much for sharing. I had to smile: the whole thing just resonates so loudly with me and I had literally been wanting to scream about my own weight and exercise 20 minutes before I saw your post. My own life, as you know, has changed beyond all recognition over the past year (actually on the last day of 2012 to be exact). I have worked through so many releases, spent as much time as possible outdoors, as this is where I find I have my most profound breakthroughs and my journey has led me to teaching. Well, teacher training is something else and life has changed again and I’ve found myself having to let go again. One of those things is my almost daily visit to the gym. And ‘hey presto’ my fear of weight gain surfaced. Then I decided to do the same as you – eat instinctively and allow my body to do its thang. However, I have put some weight on. So, now I am thinking it is no coincidence that I am sitting outside the gym waiting to pick up my daughter, wanting to scream I want to be there but torn because I have all this work to do….. Maybe it’s time to address my body issues too. Maybe I have been given the exact circumstances I needed to face it and deal with it finally. So, I await your next post with baited breath Melody. Have an awesome time in Ibiza chicken. Love you loads xxx

DawnStar November 28, 2013 at 23:05

Up until a few years ago, I hated being a woman. I had been molested, raped and exposed to hard-core porn for a considerable period of time in my childhood. Having a female body made me weak. It made me vulnerable. It made me a target. It disempowered me, made me an object that men could take, have, destroy if they chose to. I abandoned my femininity, I turned my back on my womanhood. I became so masculine as to be able to beat any man at his own game. When I say I worked out, I mean I worked out! I had to be physically strong, fast, flexible, able – all over and above the average man so that I was confident I could protect mySelf against any attack that came. I was verbally and psychologically ready too – tongue like a dagger, mind like a gladiator, watching, waiting, feigning, always looking for the cleanest kill. Woe betide any man who looked at me without my permission or spoke to me or any other woman in certain tones or using certain words. Touch me without my permission, even in passing and just see what happens! No shit!! I was lethal.

I controlled my body. I controlled what went in to it. I controlled what it did and how long for and I pushed it hard. I was brutal, I was cruel, my body was at my mercy and I had none. I was a fitness trainer, a nutritionist, an absolute know it all about physical well-being. Knowledge was power. Power meant domination. Domination meant safety! I made the rules! Never surrender!

Imagine then my terror when I had a total breakdown. When my body no longer responded to me. When one day it just simply refused to get out of bed. The most my arms and legs could do was turn me over………

And then the journey really began…………

LOA wasn’t new to me. Metaphysics wasn’t new to me. I had been able to see and read energies from being very small. Others came to me for help and advice. What wasn’t flowing was always so easy to see in others. I could see it like a neon sign flashing. Everyone thought I was perfect. ‘You’re like a machine’, they said. That should have been a clue.

To cut a long story short, I’m not sure when it dawned on me that if I create everything in my life, then I also create the body I have. And as we know, it’s not your thoughts that create, it’s your vibration, what you are feeling. So, of course, it’s not about the food. Of course it’s not about the exercise. Of course calories in minus exercise out doesn’t add up to a healthy body. You are not a number. It’s not about what you eat or how much you eat, it’s not about how much you do or don’t exercise, it’s how you feel about all of it that matters. It’s how you feel about yourSelf that matters. It’s how you talk to yourSelf that matters. Your body responds to you. If you’re always complaining about your fat thighs, guess what your body delivers…….where attention goes, energy flows…….we know that basic fundamental. But it’s those sub-conscious beliefs that will get you every time and your body tries so hard to communicate them to you constantly.

I’m softer now, curvier. I allow my body to flow when I walk. No longer do I talk in skinny, clipped, carved out tones starved of love, time and patience. My need for domination has transmuted into dominion, of standing with and not over. My feminine power is as awesomely formidable as the ocean, raw, answering to no one but herSelf, my previously imbalanced masculine power would have sought to harness that and wield it as a force to slam others with but now, I realise the unfathomable depths of compassion I can dive into when I choose not to.

I am not afraid to be a woman anymore. And I’m not afraid of my body anymore.

I love my body :)

fs November 28, 2013 at 23:43

you write very beautifully !

DawnStar November 30, 2013 at 05:55

thank you fs!

Lene November 29, 2013 at 10:33

Yes, this was very beautiful. Its like your words speak to my soul.

Laetitia Hannan November 29, 2013 at 12:43

What a beautiful way of expressing yourself, your pain and your glory.

DawnStar November 30, 2013 at 05:56

I am in gratitude of your kind words Lene :)

DawnStar November 30, 2013 at 05:57

And of yours Laetitia <3

Edelweiss December 1, 2013 at 20:13

Thank you for this!

Ellen McCann November 28, 2013 at 23:13

OH Melody, I do not read you as often as I would like but I love you, you make me laugh and really help put all this LOA stuff in such a friendly , useful & funny light. Serendipitous this moment to catch this most recent blog. I too have been doing liver cleanses as part of a plan to revitalize myself. Lose weight of course and freaking FEEL BETTER! The main catalyst was to try yet another remedy for the extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing condition of seborreheic dermatitis. In my case it affects my scalp. To other people it looks like really badass dandruff. According to Louise Hay Heal your Body, “itching” (a major problem with seb derm) is symptomatic of “desires that go against the grain” Remorse.Itching to get out or get away. While eczema( basically the same as dermatitis) is indicative of “breathtaking antagonism. Mental eruptions.” You can imagine where that info took me, being a student of LOA. Lots of introspection, exercise, depression, all sorts of research & supplements, Wow I could go on. Recently I (duh) finally started to address the liver, which has led to the intestines which has led to the kidneys, adrenal gland, the thyroid, cardio vascular all which I thought I had been addressing but not getting the connections or frankly not having the time to do so. I had to stop working. Many factors led up to this but frankly I was exhausted, depressed, anxious & utterly fed up with living. God Bless my beloved sister is all I can say about that now. Great gratitude there. THe liver. We need to be nice to it. Milk Thistle tea on a daily basis is a good place to start. I am not completely well as it is an on-going process but I am better. Looking forward to your detailed blog. Yes Believe me I know it gets really personal about the digestive process and no, Thanksgiving is not the day to go there! God/Goddess Bless & thank you. Love, Ellen

H. November 28, 2013 at 23:27

Happy birthday! :) I wish you the same as the famous Portuguese wine – the Port: The older, the sweeter/tastier/better you are!

A vulnerable thing: I have been seeing my family trigger each other’s resistance bigtime for years. LOA also helped me deal with that and with my personal triggers, but sometimes is so much that I am afraid that they don’t find peace and happiness. And also me, since I am temporarily and my family’s house and so is my older sister… It’s a phase of transformation for all, I think. But a voice tells me that everything will be alright, when the noise calms down. :) I am just somehow exhausted, and afraid that all of this will delay and impede the process, but then some of your teachings come to mind… :)

Huge hugs!

karen November 28, 2013 at 23:58

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELODY. I really envoy your blogs. Love Karen

Joan November 29, 2013 at 00:21

Happy Birthday, Melody!

I was thinking just this morning about the “weight” issue (before reading your post), and concluded that the repugnance I have felt at my overweight-ness is that everyone can SEE that I am carrying/taking in more than I “need”! Horrors! Who am I to have more than someone else?
Generally speaking, that theme carries over into other areas of my thinking, i.e. I am afraid to have “too much” money, “too many” friends, “too much” enthusiasm, “too much” happiness or joy, “too great” a job, “too awesome husband and kids”, just “too much” in general, etc. So – for me, the weight issue is a tip of a belief iceberg that goes something like “I shouldn’t want more, but I do, and if I let myself have more, I will get what’s coming to me, that is, it will make me ugly, repulsive, socially unacceptable, gluttonous, un-spiritual!” (Hmmm….very old Catholic vibe going on here).

Blah, blah, blah – so much mental justifying going on in the background of my thoughts all the time that simply seeing this goofy pattern for what it is was a relief. And then, ta-dah, your post – which of course is not coincidence but attraction. So, here’s to appreciating the ongoing, easy release of heavy, limiting thoughts and celebrating the through-and-through beauty that is you and me and all of us. May we let our bodies be as unencumbered as our spirits.

Thanks for the reminder, Melody; may you be uplifted knowing that you are so much more than a size or a weight. : )

Adriana Guidi November 29, 2013 at 00:31

Happy Happy Birthday Melody!! Have a lovely trip,and thank you for this post. @Laetitia-for the past few weeks..maybe months I’ve been feeling a bit like that myself..I couldn’t figure out what it was..I read and watch and love your posts Melody and firmly believe in LOA,and it’s really worked! But,like you and some others have said,sometimes there’s this one thing that gets stuck.I’m an artist,and I can’t seem to getting ahead(for now..I know it’ll get better).I read other artists’ postings,how they’re selling,how many collectors they have ,how many shows they’ve won in..blah blah blah. Commissions come once in a great while for me..(I won a couple of competitions last year and one this year,paintings I’ve entered in shows come back “unsold”,and I only have a couple of part time jobs,so I’m relying on mom and my boyfriend giving me extra money.It’s been bothering me more than I realize that I’m not “bringing in an income” .I know I’m good at my art,and I know there’s some underlying fear..haven’t quite figured out what yet..something that’s blocking my success…feeling a bit worthless,like what’s up..what’s preventing me from”allowing” to have people actually pay for my work.
Whew..yay got that out…lol…
Anyway thanks again Melody!! Lots of love and hugs!
Adriana Guidi invites you to read..“Somewhere in Saskatchewan”My Profile

Moonsparkle November 29, 2013 at 01:02

Thank you for sharing your struggle with us, Melody. Even though LOA has helped me to feel better, sometimes I still struggle so much. I find it very hard to be vulnerable (I’m working on that) and I find it inspiring when you and other people are open so publicly like this. :)

I lost some weight earlier this year, I started eating a bit more healthily and eating less fast food but I wasn’t focusing that much on losing weight. I did want to lose some weight but it wasn’t my main focus. Other things are much harder for me to achieve. My weight has gone up and down in the past and although I was pleased to lose some, I then started to worry that I would put it on again and started being paranoid that I looked bigger in pictures. I think I need to not focus on it so much. I believe that it’s not necessarily about the food because last Christmas I worried that I’d eaten too much because I was eating more over Christmas but in the New Year someone asked me if I’d lost weight! I was feeling better in general earlier this year.

Happy Birthday! Hope you’re having a great day and a great Thanksgiving. Thank you for this site, it’s helped me a lot. :) Enjoy Ibiza!

Hope other readers celebrating Thanksgiving are also having a great one. :)
Moonsparkle invites you to read..The Love Project- Self loveMy Profile

Bernadette November 29, 2013 at 01:28

Happy Birthday Melody.
Thank you for this post, I love when the synchronicities happen…I had been thinking of doing another flush Hulda Clarke one this weekend…am up to my fifth…
I had a mini heart attack about 2 yrs ago and when having tests for it, was diagnosed with fatty liver disease, pre diabetes (insulin resistance) and high cholesterol…
Like you I was intuitively led to a vegan diet…I had also found that I had put on weight mainly because I was not getting enough calories, which sent my body into starvation mode and it held onto the fat…I was also eating too much fruit which was messing with my insulin levels…I agree the mind body and spirit connection is so strong…I had read in a Louise hay book that anger is to do with the liver…so have been working on releasing my anger in healthier ways, I also have given myself a bit of a break about it…I have always been a bit too hard on myself…I am learning to love my body just the way it is….I use crystals to help me adventurine I use to support the emotions while I release…
One interesting thing I have found, because I was always a thin person, that now I am heavier the men that are attracted to me are much more genuine..they like me for me not what I look like…this has totally blown the misconception that I had out of the water that men prefer thin women…best of luck on your flushing journey Melody, I keep a journal when doing the flushes, a lot of stuff seems to come up each time I do one…mind body and spirit…when we change something on on level, it also changes it on the other levels ;) have fun in ibiza

Mel November 29, 2013 at 01:47

Thank you times one million. For this and all your other insightful blogging. You came into my life at exactly the right time and ill be forever hooked and trying to hook others. generally successfully! Happy Ibiza birthday!

Kathleen November 29, 2013 at 02:59

YOUR BIRTHDAY IS THE 28TH? My birthday was yesterday, the 27th. I knew we were sisters in multiple ways.

So you’re Sagittarius. That certainly explains a lot :D

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Kathleen invites you to read..There is no solution to this problem – Deborah, 56, Kansas City, MOMy Profile

Kathleen November 29, 2013 at 03:00

HEY!!! Those questions marks were HEARTS when I hit enter . . .
Kathleen invites you to read..There is no solution to this problem – Deborah, 56, Kansas City, MOMy Profile

Judy November 29, 2013 at 03:16

Happy Birthday, Melody. Best wishes for a fabulous trip.
I appreciate your post so much. Many things have become completely awesome in my life recently, but I’ve felt something needed attention.
Then comes your post, which left me speechless… uncomfortably speechless. You hit on something that I know now I have to explore. (I just tried my hand at vulnerability and started writing it down, and had to erase it all. Not ready for that yet).
I deeply appreciate your courage and honesty; it will keep me moving forward, too.

Ciara November 29, 2013 at 04:42

Hey there Melody,
First of all big happy birthday hope you have a splendiferous time in Ibiza :)
I’m not a big commenter but I love your blog and I had such a ‘holy crap what a coincidence’ moment that I thought for once I would.
I’ve been thinking about doing a liver detox for past couple of weeks but finding it hard to pick one with the overwhelming amount of info on the Internet so I’m totally stoked that your going to share yours. There’s my decision made how cool is that.
I love when stuff shows up right when you need.
You’re awesome for sharing all you do I really admire that.
Big hugs,
Ciara

Nat November 29, 2013 at 05:29

Happy Birthday Melody!! You’re awesome, I love you so much! We’re all in this together ;)

Kelly From Loveland November 29, 2013 at 06:10

Happy Birthday, Queen Melody!!!
I’m happy for you that you’ve made such an important discovery about yourself and then shared this fantastic news with us!!
And I was going to write some more but my mind has decided it wants to dedicate itself to pondering your post. It’s fickle that way.
At any rate, I do hope you enjoy your holiday with friends and I look forward to reading Monday’s post where you describe all of the ooey-gooey things that our livers do for a living.
-muwah! :-)

Catherine Lubrien November 29, 2013 at 08:19

Happy birthday my dear Melody. You inspire millions of people with your writings. I thank you so much. God bless you, dear

Sameer November 29, 2013 at 08:29

Awesome Birthday Girl Melody Once Again Happy Birthday With HUGE Jumping Joyfully HUGS To You!

Guys, you know I was the lucky one to wish Melody on her birthday over a phone call… My coaching call was scheduled on a special day…. Yepppppyyyyy :D

As far as blog topic is concern I believe we are connected with Awesome Melody because we match our energy with her… The response to this blog itself shows that… Yesterday when I read this blog there were only 5 comments & today when I saw the comments, it exceeded 70…. We all love you Melody (you better agree this guys ;) )

Have a wonderful holiday and come back soon :)

Loads of Love & Hugs,
Sameer (I am more than thankful to you for showing me what’s my purpose in life in yesterdays coaching call – How I can be peaceful)

Star Avalon November 29, 2013 at 08:50

Hi Melody

Wishing you the happiest of happy birthdays! I love your blog and your honest, insightful, tell-it-like-it-is posts. I’ve never commented before but you asked for comments and that’s such an awesome birthday present to ask for that I’m going to go for it :)

I struggle with my weight too. I tell other people, and people I read cards for, how important it is to love your body regardless of size, and I truly think someone who loves themselves glows with a radiance that doesn’t take heed of size or shape. But in private, I don’t love myself for my weight. I have a lot of shameful thoughts about it, and a lot of anger directed at myself for mistreating my body. I feel like it’s impossible to love my body when it’s so fat and I’m so bad at taking care of it.

I’ve never admitted that publicly before as I’m a very private person.

Reading your post and seeing that someone I admire and learn a lot from has faced weight related issues recently made me feel that weight related feelings and blocks can happen to anyone at any stage on their LOA journey, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You also reminded me that it’s never too late to tackle it, and that tackling it might be a fun challenge and adventure but it doesn’t have to be scary or shameful.

Thank you Melody and bright blessings to you!

Stella November 29, 2013 at 10:10

Happy Birthday Melody and have a lovely time in Ibiza. Your post reveals your humanity, humility and beauty like never before. You are an inspiration, dear spirit. Thank you. x

Jenny November 29, 2013 at 14:07

Happy, belated birthday Melody! For some reason, I only get to see your new posts Tuesdays and Fridays. Wonder if it’s the same for everyone else in the UK? Is there a setting perhaps? I need you Mondays baby :-)

At any rate – a most beautiful, joyous, happy, healthy, blessed birthday. If I think of all the ways you helped me make sense of my awakening, turned it into a functional, every-day application in my life, my heart expands and tears well up.

Thank you Melody. Thank you for being you. Thank you for your sense of humor, your candor, your simplification of LOA into daily life. Thank you for showing up precisely when I needed you the most. Thank you for helping me find the light within me. Thank you for not being perfect or sanctimonious in that way that some teachers can be. Thank you for your bitch-slaps, your soapbox and your titillating swearing. I will never be able to thank you enough for helping me truly understand the concept of vibration. It helped discover my innate power. I can see what I am offering Life and aligned or misaligned, it empowers me no end because I can change it. I listen to my inner life and there is just a quiet whirring – the warring factions are finally mostly united. There is still some misalignment but the overwhelm is gone.

Have a great holiday. Be well and truly blessed. I’d ask you to marry me but I think Rose is first in line :-)

xx

Jenny November 29, 2013 at 19:18

One realization I had just awhile ago regarding the weight I want to shift is how I’ve been attaching conditions to how and when the weight-loss will come about. It really is not so much about the food and the exercise, though these help different people in different ways, which is perhaps the key thing to understand.

I realized this when I found myself berating myself for not fancying the gym one evening and I was giving myself a hard-time for not being strict enough. It made me understand that in my mind, I had attached a condition to weight-loss that unless I went to the gym x many times, I wouldn’t lose any weight. Stopped me dead in my tracks. I realized how many other conditions I had attached to this i.e. what foods I must eat/what exercise regimens work the best… this is the only way I could allow myself to receive weight-loss. Through such hard work and misery. How awful.

How many times do we force ourselves to eat foods we know innately we don’t enjoy or try new workouts that only bring us grief and misery, because they work for others? How does this affect our vibration?

Really the question we should ask ourselves about what to eat or what exercise is best is as Melody says -’does this feel good to me?’. Enjoyment (which leads effortlessly into appreciation) must be the bigger motivation of both what to eat and how to exercise. Some people never step foot into a gym but they love walks in nature and get their exercise that way. Some people are natural-born runners and they enjoy it while others like me loathe it with a passion. Yet I forced myself for awhile to run 45-60mins on the treadmill 4-5 days a week and the less weight I lost, the more frustrated, angry and savage I became about pushing myself harder. I can’t remember the last time I felt a sense of enjoyment about what I was doing at the gym. My body must have only listened to that vibration and I went from only needing to lose 5 kilos to 14….

One could argue that by this reckoning it would be easy to just pig out on junk food because it feels good but I believe otherwise. One can fool others but never oneself – if that doughnut doesn’t feel good, you will feel it with every bite. You will know it and it will trigger some self-loathing which perpetuates the cycle all over again. When I crave what passes for junk, I decide to make it myself. if I want a doughnut, I will make it myself from scratch. I decide when will be best for me to invest the time and effort needed and I make a loving experience of it. I have fun looking up different recipes and shopping for ingredients. I clean the kitchen first, then put on some music. I take the time to cook it and intuitively, I know how much of anything to put in – I always end up putting less sugar/salt/butter etc than in anything I would buy. I absolutely relish the finished product (and frankly end up scoffing less). I make enough to freeze so I can whip it out when I crave one. You know what – when I buy one from the shop, it ain’t a patch on my ones. There’s always something lacking. Do I do this with all foods? No. But every little helps.

Ps: I used to joke about my booty which I desired there to be less of. I did that self-deprecating thing that we find so likable in others (why?). Until I realized the kind of talk I had, not just with myself but out loud for all and sundry to hear. I was horrified. I don’t joke about this anymore or make quips about it or fun of it in any way, shape or form, not even with my girlfriends. I don’t ask whether my ass looks big in this type of questions. It took some getting used to but my trousers now thank me for it. Self-talk = vibration.

Constance November 29, 2013 at 20:25

Happy belated Birthday, Melody!!! Thank you so much for all the sharing you do in your blog. Your insights, written in a most awesome way, have helped light the way to continued growth . I can relate to your posts in so many ways and thank you so much! I look forward to each one! :D

Cayli November 29, 2013 at 22:46

Thank you so much for this post. It’s encouraging and helpful to see your vulnerabilities and how you work through them. I am currently and have been for several years, in a long distance, online relationship with someone who I love very much and I know will be my future husband. Not only that, but his sister is my best friend and I really connect with their entire family. We have yet to successfully see each other (although we’ve had many failed attempts) and reading your blog has helped me to try and work through this a little. It’s very hard for me to tell people I’m in this relationship – being totally vulnerable right now – because I’m afraid of their reactions. I’ve gotten a lot better and have told several friends, but I’d still like to be even more open about it, and see him of course!

Have you ever done a post on online dating/relationships?

Thanks again for this wonderful blog :)

Victoria November 30, 2013 at 01:02

Thanks Mel,
As my life is full of synchronicity I should not be surprised by your post. I have been drawn to the liver in the past few months (not as an entre…) I have a few supplements but am really looking forward to hearing more about your personal experience on Monday. Bless you for sharing this information. They say that when the student is ready…….well you know the rest. I feel like this is one of those moments of readiness.
Patiently waiting your blog next week.
Have a fabulous birthday !!

SK November 30, 2013 at 01:09

Happy birthday Melody.

Thank you for sharing your story.

we all benefited from it.

SK November 30, 2013 at 01:53

I Googled a bit on how emotions and the body interrelated to each other and found this interesting article. It certainly sheds a lot of lights into those situation where your GP insisted that there is nothing wrong with you because all of their tests are normal.
Yet you feel very crappy and your body is screaming for attention.

http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/anxietydepression/a/EmotionsTCM.htm

Jai November 30, 2013 at 02:20

Hi Melody! I just finished reading part 1 of your cleansing blog and I am anxious for part 2. I pause before wishing you a Happy, Shiny, whatever-you-want-or-need B Day ,( and all the days and years after), to really feel my wish for you. I am sure you pause and feel before sending your blogs, etc. to us all as well. God I could spend hours talking with you! 9-1/2 out of 10 times you hit on something just like what I am thinking or feeling. I was inspired recently to try a different place to pick up dinner on my way home. When I came home I received your blog post mentioning the Matrix, and Neo. “O.M.F.G.”! Right next to me was a bottle with the name of the place I visited- Kafe Neo! And today, before reading this blog post I was thinking to ask for your thoughts on what I am going through. I try to stay positive and happy and follow LOA guides, ‘however’, often people piss me off, make me feel invisible even when I am right in front of them. In a nutshell I have no family, no really close friends, being Gay I have to stay in boundaries with most people I am friendly with for my sake and theirs, and I am still struggling at 55 to attract a romantic relationship. I keep a lot bottled up inside. Is it ok to just let go and get pissed off with people? I have been down that road before and LOA helped me get better. I respect myself, but I have trouble really loving myself. At times anger helps me to feel respected. (P.S. Already tried chocolate and ice cream)

nay December 1, 2013 at 21:38

Hi Jai! I’d like to offer a thought I had on your comment?
“People make me feel invisible..”; as Melody has taught us, the Universe is mirroring your vibe back to you, so maybe you are already feeling invisible/not worth seeing etc
Maybe this will help, Best wishes, Nay

kelly November 30, 2013 at 03:48

Happy, Happy Birthday, Melody. I hope you have a fantastic day, though I don’t doubt you will. ;)
Thank you for being a beam of sunshine in my world and keeping me motivated to shine myself out into this world. Sending positive energy to your liver.

XO
Kelly

Will November 30, 2013 at 20:12

It’ll be the trauma that’s jamming up your liver….shift it!
Happy 39th!

Isabel November 30, 2013 at 20:53

Lots of love to you for freeing yourself of fear! Will be reading your next posts very closely, as I’m also in my path cleansing my liver (and entire digestive system, for that matter!). Thank you very much for sharing your experience! :)

Renae November 30, 2013 at 21:48

I am so excited for Monday’s post! I appreciate your encouragement to use the comment section as a way to dip our toe in the water of being publicly vulnerable, but I’m not there just yet. Wait… Maybe I can at least share that earlier this year I did some one-to-one work with you. Part of the process involves sending you a picture of me, which I did… But it was Photoshopped. (For those reading this, I told Mel it was an edited photo). Anyhoo – I’ve had digestion problems for more than a decade. This year, I’ve had TREMENDOUS spiritual growth. No matter the magnitude of positive changes within me and my life… The digestion issue slowly worsens and my stamina has steadily declined. I have tried every type of Dr, healer, and special diet under the sun. Usually, I see a small improvement for a short time…only to have the symptoms return and continue their slow worsening. Within the last few days I’ve been inspired to consider my liver as the source of my ailments and BAM! Your post comes along, just as you always do, Melody… With incredibly timely insights. Thank you. I look forward to hearing about your journey as a way to create a road map for myself :-)

Becca November 30, 2013 at 23:44

Happy Birthday Meldoy!
Mine was just a week before yours! I have only just found your blog – when I was looking for ways help me stay grounded & shield negative energy. I have since become crazy about you and am catching up on all your previous blog posts. I come to help lift my energy. Your blunt sarcasm resonates with me perfectly.

Your present: My block (that I realized while reading your post) is not weight, but money – it has been for quite sometime. I used LOA in the past & have found it again recently. It feels really good to be back with it – like this time I’m going to get it, but more importantly I’ve been learning to love the journey and live with gratitude. It’s a work in progress, but it’s been so much fun!

Love, Light, Sunshine, & rainbows to you!

Thank you for all your posts & opening up in this one! It’ll do a body good :)

Sarah December 1, 2013 at 00:18

Oh Melody you are fab!!! I think its adorable that you thought we all believed you to be faultless and perfect…so cute… ;)

Congratulations on your mega break through! Keep rolling with that shit, you’re doing amazing stuff for yourself and all of us!!

My little bit of authentic revelation goes like this;

throughout my life my weight has been very closely linked to my mental state, so when I have gone through periods of depression I have gained lots of weight, at my heaviest I was about 100kgs (220lbs), at the beginning of 2012 I decided to change my useless usual New Years resolution bullshit and just focus on one thing that was really important to me (instead of a million impossible to achieve mini goals), so I decided that at that point in time the most important thing to me was HEALTH, I let that one word be the guiding principle of all my decisions, this included mental health, emotional health, spiritual health and yes physical health. So even without focusing on weight loss I promptly lost over 30kgs (66lbs) and became fitter, stronger, more flexible, and happier than I have ever been. Don’t get me wrong I had a heap of shit come up that needed to be dealt with along the way, lifetimes of baggage that was resisting the expression of my healthy awesomeness, but like you I did the work as best I could, rolled up my sleeves and cracked on.

Now I am certainly not the thinnest I have ever been, and I’ve had 3 kids so I have stretch marks and loose skin and all kinds of stuff, but I am the most comfortable in my body that I have ever been and I am so proud of and impressed by my body and its transformation and ability to respond. Plus I think I am totally a sexy bitch now, I am having the most amazing love affair with myself, and why the hell not!?!

I totally applaud you for putting yourself out there and being courageous enough to be vulnerable and authentic. Have an awesome birthday you saucy minx!!!!!!!

M. Kay Clark December 1, 2013 at 21:16

All of you have so many good thoughts, and once again I am beginning to feel like I belong. The predominant feeling associated with my previously mentioned self imposed isolation is that of not belonging, not having my herd, being the outcast wolf still trying to find my way back into the pack. We can survive in isolation, but we cannot thrive. I recall years ago when I was first beginning with journal writing, I lived alone, but had family members who came to visit often. I used to burn my journal writings (this was before I had a computer) because I was too afraid someone would read what I had written. As I look back on those handwritten pages now, the ones which were ultimately not destroyed, they continue to reveal truths to me. In my career as well, I have always been afraid to put myself out there.

My struggling this past 10 years has not been about money, but it has manifested in just being able to survive. I keep wondering how I can have all of the spiritual truths I presently experience, all the years of being on my inner path and to have this type of manifestation at this point in my life does not make sense to me. I judge myself harshly because of this manifestation of lack. I am going to continue to follow your teachings and keep reminding myself that my thoughts are real, the words I think and say are living words and they create or draw to me my life’s experience now and in the future.

When I saw Melody’s post about the liver cleanse, it resonated so profoundly with me, I could not get here fast enough. And underlying all of it, the manifestation may be that my liver needs cleansing, but ultimately I am led back to my spiritual journey and a place where I feel I belong. My liver is masculine by the way. It told me that right after reading this blog. I asked it, my liver, what it wanted from me. The answer it gave me was “quiet” foods. Things are definitely changing from the first day, Thanksgiving Day, that I read the post. I definitely know when I am led to quiet foods. I also know when I am reaching for stormy foods. I can almost feel the good or bad vibration by thinking about a particular food.

Thank you one and all. I can’t wait to see what you share next. Kay

Allowing time for me has not been easy. I am giving myself permission to do that again now. Thank you, Melody, and all of you for your posts. Kay

Sarah December 2, 2013 at 01:09

Hi Kay,

I love your description of quiet and stormy foods, thats such a wonderful way of relating to them! Keep up the good work :)

Sarah

M. Kay December 19, 2013 at 23:07

Thanks, Sarah. I haven’t been out here since the 1st, and am back again enjoying and being reminded of the spiritual food available here. Thanks! Kay

nay December 1, 2013 at 22:10

Happy Birthday Sweetie!
We never get it finished and we never get it done! :Abe
so of course you too are still on your journey, and we who vibe with you, get to share it with you!!
All of our ‘vulnerabilities’ arise from dissonance; thinking we should be better, nicer, smarter, successfuller etc than we perceive ourselves to already be; wouldn’t it be so much easier if we just all got off our own cases!! (And saw ourselves as Source sees us..)
Love you all!

SK December 2, 2013 at 05:44

Lao Tzu agrees with you nay.
Perpetual Grow is as big a trap as Hope and Fear.
They are all illusions we created.
They are secondary to who we really are.

Kim December 2, 2013 at 23:04

OMG…I am late reading your blog today. So HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY?? It’s weird because I decided to get back to intermittnet fasting. And I’m in hour 14 or so… I feel absolutely on cloud nine. The beauty and clarity that comes with a fast (that isnt’ forced but natural) feels so good to the soul. I remember when I first began reading your blogs, I was (and still am) overly concerned with my weight. I go through these seasons where I accept myself as I am, then I begin to seek enjoyment through food and gain weight and the vicious cycle continues. I remember when you first mentioned a weightloss book and I was beside myself waiting for you to write it. Some where along the way, I realized that I am not supposed to follow any regimen, routine, weightloss plan, exercise plan other than what comes from inside myself.

I so applaud you for being so vulnerable and being you…

Love, Hugs and Kisses

Kim

Amber December 3, 2013 at 04:41

Happy late birthday, Melody! I have absolutely loved reading your blog over the last fee months and have truly learned more applicable insights here, than from a dozen LOA books put together. I adore that you share a birthday with my son, Maximus…just warms a Mama’s heart when someone so wonderful celebrates on the same day as their baby:)
Your vulnerability is beautiful (and your cursing is the BEST).
So much love to you and all the joy your heart can hold.
Xo

Patricia December 4, 2013 at 04:42

My mother’s 100th birthday was the 29th of November and she died 6 years ago, but I felt the need to just be with thoughts of her for several days and now have let go.

I share vulnerable parts of myself all the time, all the time. I seem to be constantly hoping for the revealing words I need to hear myself say. I switched from writing a journal to dictating without adding grammar, and I started to hear more and more. I can go nearly all day without eating and I usually write better when I fast. I am doing 3 hours of exercise a day right now with no weight loss at all – building lots of energy and moving inflammation from tough spots, but when I am cold I get so hungry, I think I could eat a horse ( so I measure my portions)

I have done liver cleanses twice in my 64 years and they have both be very good experiences.

I so hate it when I am sharing a vulnerable point and the listener says – you have invaded my boundaries…talking to the computer has been more helpful.

Hope you had a great time on the island with your ladies…and excited about your thoughts of moving. Many, many of my friends are moving to islands the last few years.

Two things I want that I know of – 1. to be able to walk into a store to purchase a shirt or jeans and there is a good selection to chose from – not just the shirt or jeans 1 kind which will fit my upper arms and thighs (It would also mean that the inflammation was gone in my arms and legs. and -2. to be rewarded with money for my excellent work

Being with my children this past week, I know I do not want to be a health or financial burden to them ever….My partner must keep working until age 76 at this point – politics do make a difference the sequester and the Gov. shut down…that is what trickles down to us….used up all our savings. Talk about feeling vulnerable – living it everyday
Patricia invites you to read..MUCKERS: When Your Town is About to Crumble, You Dig Deeper into the Muck and Find a Way to Win ~Sandra Neil WallaceMy Profile

Summer December 5, 2013 at 22:49

I am so behind on reading your posts! I am currently playing catch up though. I just wanted to comment really quick and wish you a very, very happy belated birthday! I hope it was as awesome as you are! :)
Summer invites you to read..The WarningMy Profile

Manana December 6, 2013 at 06:21

Thank you for your transparency. It helps (has helped) me in ways I cannot describe here. I now even give myself a permission to have bad days and cry when I feel like it. You are brilliant (you know you are), Melody.
(I personally wish I could see more video blogs, as hearing your voice and seeing your beautiful face are always refreshing…).

Vini December 30, 2013 at 00:03

Happy Belated Birthday. You are awesome. Thanks for being a part of my life!

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