Dear LOA: Is It Ok To Be Proud Of Myself?

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by Melody Fletcher on November 25, 2013

 

Coaching Call #076 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: How Can He Use LOA to Become A Star?

This client seems to be on the fast track to becoming the next big music producer. He’s already manifesting meetings with big names in the industry, but things just never quite seem to come together in the end. How is he blocking his success?

What does it feel like to be a star? How can someone become famous without falling into the arrogant douchebag trap? Why do so many huge performers take drugs and how can that be avoided?

This call is basically for anyone who wants to become famous, or anyone who wants to step up their game and contribute to the world in a much bigger way. Are you ready for the big time? Listen to this call and find out!

Read the full call summary here.

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Awesome Cristine’s Burning Question: “I have a question about being proud and staying humble. I grew up in a somewhat religious environment where humility is a virtue and pride is a sin. So whenever I visualize myself being successful and getting what I want, and also helping others and maybe inspiring them, I feel that I become proud of my accomplishments and I want people to know how proud I am of all these. But then years of upbringing would kick in and a voice in my head will say, you must stay humble to be able to get to where you want to be. I know the Universe does not make judgments. But is it okay to feel that sense of pride whenever I visualize that I am getting what I want? Is it ok to feel that people are looking at me and thinking to themselves how successful I have become?”

Dear Awesome Cristine,

Pride cometh before the fall. It is your job to stay small and humble and not make any waves. For God’s sake, don’t break free from the pack of lemmings and stand out from the crowd and do something spectacular that you and others can be proud of. Be mediocre. Be “normal”. Be quiet.

That was obviously sarcasm. The idea that pride is somehow sinful, that it is detrimental to your soul, is pure and utter (say it with me now…) Bullshit. Pride is a good thing, and I’m going to do my best in today’s post to explain exactly how and why that is so.

What exactly is pride?

The official definition of pride (according to the Google) is: a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

Good God, religion’s right. That’s just pure evil, isn’t it? I mean, how could you possibly justify feeling pleasure in something YOU, or someone you love did? No, no, no. You’re just supposed to judge yourself and hate yourself and remind yourself daily that you’re not good enough for the Lord. Shit. The sarcasm just keeps squishing out.

I like this definition of pride. It is, indeed, a feeling of deep pleasure and satisfaction, felt while focusing on yourself, or something deeply connected to you. But why would the religion of Christianity (and a few others) have an issue with this? Is it really just all a plot to keep you small, or was there, at least at some point, an actual vibrational reason for deterring people from the feeling of pride?

I choose to think it’s the latter. I believe that a vibrationally sound idea got misunderstood and twisted and then perpetuated in its adulterated form. And generations later, there you are, struggling to conform to the equivalent of a mistranslation that no one was willing to challenge and clear up.

Pride’s darker cousin

Pride is not the culprit. True pride, as defined above, is a wonderful, positive feeling. But, there are other, darker feelings that can masquerade as pride, which may not serve you as well.

The most common of these negative feelings is insecurity, which can manifest as something that looks at bit like pride, but doesn’t feel anything like it. Let’s say that you’re terribly insecure. You’ve been taught to believe that you’re not good enough. Now, since there’s a big part of you that knows this to be utter crap, you’re going to constantly be reaching for a better feeling. The problem is, you don’t know how. While you really want to just be Who You Really Are, you’re much too afraid to, so you do your best to find relief in ways that conform to your twisted beliefs. You seek validation at every turn. You become hyper competitive, trying to outdo all those around you in an attempt to prove your value. If you’re the best at something, they’ll have to acknowledge that you’re just as good as them, right? You also tend to trumpet your accomplishments as loudly as you can, in the hopes that someone will take notice and declare you to be sufficient.

This is not pride. This is massive insecurity, and it makes everyone uncomfortable. You’re not celebrating your accomplishments; you’re desperately seeking approval and recognition, while your vibration won’t let anything close to that into your experience. You’re imploring people to validate you while simultaneously making it impossible for them to do so. It’s exhausting to be around a person like that. Others might call you proud or arrogant or conceited. But that’s not accurate. What you really are is insecure. I believe THIS is the (false) meaning of pride that the whole Seven Deadly thingy was based on. There’s usually a kernel of “truth” in everything that’s stuck around for ages. If there wasn’t, it wouldn’t have lasted that long.

True Pride

True pride has nothing to do with insecurity. It’s all about celebration. It’s about appreciation. It’s about gratitude. It’s about acknowledging the magnificence of God’s creation (you) and more of that creation through you. It’s about celebrating the creation and the creator. It is, in its purest form, a conscious acknowledgement of the magnificence of God. To deny that magnificence in any form, including your own, should be considered the “sin” (if such a thing as sins existed, which they don’t, since there is no judgment).

If you have followed your passion (that’s how the Universe/God calls you), and you have created something that brings you joy, I would say it’s not only ok, but it’s actually your freaking duty to celebrate the crap out of it. How could you not? When you understand that the feeling of joy (or relief, depending where you are on the emotional scale) is how the Universe lets you know where to point your focus in order to live out your highest potential (be all that you can be, providing the most possible value to yourself and everyone/thing else), then you understand that accomplishing something that represents that joy (or even just thinking about it), deserves nothing less than to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Why some people have a problem with true pride

“Ok,” I can hear you saying, “I accept your definition of true pride. But there are people out there who react badly to true celebration. They poo poo our joy! How do we deal with THAT, hmmm?” First of all, nice usage of the term “poo poo” (you should be proud).

So yes, there will be those who will see your genuine pride, your celebration of the magnificence of God/the Universe/All That Is, with all its high vibration, and they will insist that you’re going to hell. These people are wrong. They are also doing nothing more than showing you how they feel about themselves. You see, they would like to celebrate the glory that lives within them too, but they have this ugly little belief that won’t let them. And that hurts. When they see you reveling in your awesomeness, they feel a deep yearning to do the same, triggering their pain. They now have two choices – they can either allow themselves to also move toward joy, or they can poo poo yours. For a lot of people, the idea of stepping into their own greatness is too scary, so they choose the latter option.

People who crap all over your joy, are afraid of their own joy. Their judgment says more about them than about you. [Tweet This!]

What goes wrong here is not that they’re having that reaction. Their reaction is honest; it’s simply demonstrating their own fears. The problem arises when you decide that their opinion (based on their fears, not on what is actually “right”) is worth more than your own. When you determine that how they feel is more important than how you feel, that you can actually make them feel better by keeping yourself small (you can, but only temporarily. VERY temporarily. That’s why they have to keep coming up with more rules by which to judge you), you end up giving away all your power. Every time.

Be proud!

Here are a few choice words you can use the next time someone advises you about the dangers of pride: “I am merely celebrating God’s creations, of which I am one. I believe God created me and creates through me, and the feeling of joy is my compass, telling me where to go and how to best express those creations. I also believe that to NOT celebrate those creations is a kind of denial of God’s magnificence. So, how can I not be proud of God?” Then stand back and watch their beliefs, and possibly their heads, implode.

Of course, you actually do have to be celebrating. If you are merely pretending to be proud, but are actually seeking acknowledgment or validation, you’re going to come off as a fake, condescending douche. And no one wants that. So, once again, it all comes down to how you feel. Are you feeling giddy, unable to contain your happiness, dancing about and asking others to join you in your celebration? You’re exhibiting true pride. Are you bragging, feeling needy and desperate and more than a little frustrated, insisting that others acknowledge your creation and finally validate that you are, indeed, good enough? That’s insecurity.

The beauty of all this is that once you become comfortable with true pride, you won’t have to deal with those who don’t get it anymore. You’ll attract only those who will celebrate with you, who will understand that focusing on yourself in a way that feels really good will only lead to more awesomeness, more expressions of joy, and will happily cheer you on in that endeavor.

Like this, for example: You Go Girl!!! Go Awesome Cristine! Get down with yo bad self! Be the inspiration to others that you know you’ve come here to be. Don’t diminish that light even for a second. Shine it brightly, point it out to others and let those who are ready for it, be lit up by it, causing them to shine their lights as brightly as possible, as well. And when you encounter those who aren’t ready for it, know that keeping yourself small to make them a little less uncomfortable serves no one. They are merely there to help strengthen your resolve, to help you shine your light even brighter. You are a unique creation of God, an expression of God, a piece of God, here to experience yourself and your creations as a means to express and add to the infinite magnificence of the Universe. How could you be anything but proud of that?

 

{ 16 comments }

Andrew November 25, 2013 at 22:43

As a Christian person I agree with this 100%. True religion is about joy and celebrating God’s creation through you. Thanks for the post, Melody.

Zalika November 25, 2013 at 22:53

I love this article. Reading the last paragraph brought in me such an elated feeling. Thank you melody for another awesome post and as always I love your sarcasm :)
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Rose November 25, 2013 at 23:12

I just love you, Melody. You’re the awesomestiest creation of God. Shine brightly darling Melody, angel of God!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING A SPARKLING CRYSTAL! Thank you for shining your light on us! <3 KEEP ON SHINING! AS BRIGHTLY AS YOU CAN!

Emilio November 26, 2013 at 00:18

You have outdone yourself with this one Melody. You’re such a smart cookie! :)

SK November 26, 2013 at 12:33

My high school friend was called Cristina but her mother spelt it a special way.
It is spelt Crstna.
Her first day at school, the teacher asked her “where are the I(s) in your name?”
She pointed to her eyes and told us “they are in my head”
“What?”
I was confused, the teacher was confused, everyone was confused.
She explained:
” my mum wants me to remember this world has many layers and some secrets are hidden in plain sight. Things are not always as they seem. She wanted me to be different and be a unique girl. She wanted me to view the world from that stand point. She keeps reminding me everry day to use my eyes to read between the lines, to connect the dots, and to extract meanings behind the words. She keeps telling me to use the 2 Is (i and I) just before bed time to reflect on what I have learnt. She said this is how I can distill knowledge down to wisdom.”

The whole class was even more confused and thought she was mental. They all backed away from her.
The teacher suggested she change her name to the normal spelling.
She refused: “that is me, that is my name, that is my identity.”

I was impressed though.
“Wow……… That was way deep and this girl got gut.”

She was the brightest kid in our class and her marks were straight A.
She was weird and a bit of a smartass.
No one could understand half of what she said and no one could get close to her.
She was not sad nor happy about that. She was just living inside her own world and other people’s opinions didn’t seem to matter.
I somehow became friend with her because she impressed me.
(and because she helped me with my homeworks)
What she said about the world sometime were so profoundly simple. Yet other times, what she said would define common sense.

Crstna (Cristina) family moved interstate and we lost contact.

Fast forward to now…

Cristine, could she be my old friend?

Cristine November 27, 2013 at 14:04

Hi SK. Oh I don’t think I am that old friend.

But, we’re all friends here, aren’t we?

Laetitia November 26, 2013 at 14:31

This is a lovely, affirming post. Thank you, Melody, it makes me feel happy. Happier, because since discovering this website less than a week ago I have gone from CRAPPY to happy, like physical feelings of joy. It’s great, years of EFT didn’t do this for me. I feel I have finally got LOA, after messing about with it on and off for years.

Just one question, (there always is), some tiny voice says, softly, from faraway, “careful, when are you gonna crash and burn?” Because I feel super Melow-d’d up, I don’t heed it like I might have done before. I’m not actually sure what my question is, but it’s about this voice, maybe, just maybe, all this joy just can’t last and then things are going to go way bad. (Always happened before with LOA and me, and yes, I have read your post on that, too, but I have ingested most of your website inside of 4 days, so I can’t remember everything now).

Thanks for providing so much truly useful and helpful information, free. You are a blessing.

xxx

SK November 27, 2013 at 01:48

What you asked is slightly outside this blog’s scope.

Google “happy for no reason” by marci shimoff

Come back here tomorrow.

Laetitia Hannan November 29, 2013 at 12:36

Thank you, SK, this is very interesting and useful information, will explore further.
Have a lovely day.

Eva November 26, 2013 at 14:48

I just cried like a baby. I am currently going through a massive transformation, which I asked for a year ago. After quitting my job to set out and find what I really wanted to do I sent out this wish to the universe to be presented with my deepest fears, so that I could overcome them. It has been painful at times and sometimes I cursed myself for having made that wish :-) – but at the same time it also is so awesome! It really works and as I am opening up more and more I feel like now the changes are coming quicker. I have worked through a lot of issues and now actually know what I want to do, but there is always something holding me back. I always find excuses why I can’t start just yet.
A few days ago I did an Osho Zen Tarot reading about my possibilities and what it is that’s holding me back (if you know it, I did the Flying Bird Layout). All the cards were amazing, everything I want was in there and also the starting point, where I come from right now, was dead on. Like I said, all the cards were great, but one: Guilt. And that card followed right after the Success card. Success was the “Intuition card” – I do have this deep feeling that I will be successful with what I want to do, because it feels absolutely right and a match to who I am. And then Guilt was the “Response to intuition” card. It made me realize that my Evangelical upbringing makes me feel like success will be the first step to my downfall and also something I should be ashamed of for even wanting it. My mother used to say “Pride goes before a fall” and talk about how we should always take the “lowermost road” (a common expression amongst German Evangelicals meaning the road of serving, bearing and suffering) all the time. And when someone successful or rich lost money, had an accident or their spouse ran off, everyone knew it served them right – they had to pay for their sin of being proud.

Since my reading I have thought about it a lot and now I just read your post. And especially the last passage that starts with “You go girl!…” made me cry. I copied that, exchanged Cristine’s name for mine and it now hangs in my office. I felt really sad – and so good, because now I can overcome this. It’s another sign that I am on my way. I am in charge and I want to shine my light! And I’m gonna! I am not going to pressure myself now, but I know I will get there and it won’t be long now.

Thank you so much! Big love and hugs to you!

Larry Hochman November 27, 2013 at 02:49

“Confidence is usually quiet. But it sure knows how to party!” Larry :)

Jay November 27, 2013 at 05:50

Thanks Melody! That was yet another great article by your good self. Great job thanks. I’d love to hear more about false pride, approval and validation and how to get rid of these destructive needs urges if you do have them from a spiritual, LOA perspective. Thank you :)

Cristine November 27, 2013 at 14:03

Thank you so much for answering my question Melody! I especially love the last bit, especially the “inspiration to others” part. Because I’ve decided, even before I read this answer that I will definitely be an inspiration to others.

Big hugs!

Alexis Marlons December 1, 2013 at 21:41

I believe that we are all made in a unique way and that we should be proud of what we have. Sometimes, being pride to ourselves boost our confidence and will remind us of our worth in this world.
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Susann December 4, 2013 at 05:41

I wish I could remember who said the following — I think it was Dr. Wayne Dyer, but I’m not positive — but it literally has changed my life.

“Your stuff is not my stuff. My stuff is my reaction to your stuff.”

I read this years ago and it was like being hit on the head with a brick. When someone reacts to me now in some way that I would have found troubling a few years ago (and may have taken very personally), I am now able to shrug it off because I know their reactions have nothing at all to do with ME — it’s all about them and their “stuff”. And if I carefully watch my own reactions to what other people say and do, I can very easily pin-point problem areas within myself that would benefit from some close examination & healing.

Awesome post, Melody.

Sebastian December 15, 2013 at 02:32

You’re spot on.

True pride, like the one you are talking about, is something you kind of keep to yourself. The things that I’m proud about, no one knows. And I don’t want to tell anyone because there’s no need.

The only person that needs to know is myself.
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