Coaching Call #069 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: Relationship Issues, Adultery, Self-Sacrificing Women and Anger
Wow. This is another one of those monster calls. The call started off being about adultery, from the cheater’s point of view. But it quickly turned into so much more. It’s really about relationships, how to communicate properly, how to own your own crap. It’s also about the issue that many women (and some men) face, of disappearing into their marriages and families, even if they think of themselves as strong.
If you think this LOA stuff is all about puppies and kittens and visualizing awesomeness, this call might shock you. I’ve written a lot about the importance of anger, the most widely misunderstood and yet most healing of emotions. In this call, I coach the client into anger. No it’s not pretty, but it’s important. It’s empowering. And it might even make you stand up, pump your fist and let out a battle cry of your own. Yeah, you might be shocked; you might even be a little offended. But you won’t regret listening to this call.
Awesome Dudette’s burning question: “I want to ask you, do you believe in God? Does God exist or not?
In this post you have compared the universe with a vending machine. So what I want to ask is, is that what the universe is – a vending machine? Which means it is just a machine doing its job. It means the universe does not love me, it does not care about me. I am scared by this idea because it means there is no one to look after us, care about us and love us and things are just happening randomly (as in, if you think positive thoughts you get a positive outcome and if you think negative thoughts “go to hell, I don’t care”). I am scared that my life will fall apart if this is how the universe works.
I want the Universe/God to love us. I want to believe that no matter what is happening in my life (even the crappy things), a good reason/thing is hidden in all of them and one day I will be able to see it and everything will make perfect sense and this can only happen if a loving force is guiding me in every moment and encouraging me and showing me the right path.
Melody, are my beliefs wrong?”
Dear Awesome Dudette,
Ok, so obviously I’m not going to be able to definitively answer the question “Does God exist?” in a blog post. I’d need at least two blog posts for that. But I’ll do my best to address your question, to tell you what I believe to be true, in a way that will allow you to feel a whole lot better. Or possibly confuse you even more.
First of all, I want to explain that I often use metaphors to make a very specific point. If you then try to smoosh all those analogies together, it can get very confusing. They don’t always hold up across the board. In posts such as The Definitive Mega Post On Why Bad Stuff (And Everything Else) Happens, and The Secret Behind “The Secret” – How We Manifest Reality, I’ve attempted to give you the big picture view of Who We Really Are. But when I tackle a very specific angle of the manifesting process, you have to look for the understanding it gives you, instead of trying to use whatever particular metaphor I used, to try and explain everything.
The Material and the Spiritual
Second, what I write about and teach can be broken down into two distinct parts. One is the material side – the technical details of how manifesting really works, the concrete steps you need to take to manifest a man, win the lottery, or move into your dream house. The second part is the spiritual side – Who We Really Are, the non-physical, the “after life” and God. The two bleed into each other (because they’re not really separate), but many people are more comfortable with the first, and have a harder time accepting the second. Our intellectual side likes to understand the mechanics of something, but dislikes the decidedly Woo-Woo flavor of what comes up when we take it a bit further. It’s also A LOT harder to find words to describe the second that will resonate with a large number of people. The concept of God is a very personal one, and people get really bent out of shape when your view doesn’t completely and totally agree with theirs, even if just a few, minor details are off. But, you asked the question, and I never shy away from a question, no matter how hairy. So, here we go.
The Vending Machine analogy was a mechanical explanation of the manifesting process. I wanted to demonstrate the total and complete lack of judgment of the Universe. This is something that most people have a very hard time understanding when it comes to sentient beings. Most of us don’t know anyone who is completely non-judgmental. But we can accept it when it comes to machines. The problem with that analogy, as you pointed out, is that it totally disregards the spiritual side of things. Yet, had I given the vending machine a personality, the concept of non-judgment wouldn’t have been as clear. I was isolating the mechanical, not because the spiritual doesn’t exist, but to make a point. It can often help us to understand complex concepts, if we break them apart and investigate its parts separately, before bringing them back together again, and looking at the whole picture. That’s what your question is allowing me to do today.
The design versus the designers
The process by which we manifest is a mechanical one. It is, for all intents and purposes like a machine, a computer. It does not judge what you are asking for. It doesn’t care if you’re “worthy” (you always are), if you deserve to get what you want (you do), if your mom said it was ok, what your friends are doing or what society thinks about it. It just works. You ask, you get. You ask, you get. You ask, you get. Unless you’re doing something to block the receiving of it, of course. So, if you’re not getting what you’re asking for, it’s only ever because you’re doing something to block it, and not because there’s something wrong with you. There is a perfect design by which we create our realities. It’s simple, it’s elegant, and it’s reliable, like a machine.
But the design isn’t the same as the designer. The mechanism by which we manifest isn’t the same as the mechanic. Once we begin to study the design and really understand it, some questions about the designers are bound to come up. And really, we can’t fully understand the process without going a bit deeper. Fully comprehending the fact that we truly can have anything and everything we want, requires that we understand our inherent worthiness. If you can always get what you want, no matter what it is, if you cannot be unworthy enough to not get what you want, then you must be inherently worthy. If one of the most important aspects of manifesting is allowing, which is really just another word for trust, then we must begin to ask, “Whom am I trusting?” Accepting that we CAN always trust, requires an absolute belief in the goodness of the designers of the system. You see, the further you go down this rabbit hole, the more existential and ultimately spiritual it gets.
Quit dodging the question!
It would be easy for me to pull an old spiritual guru trick and throw your question back at you: “I don’t know… Is there a God? There is one if you believe there is…” And that wouldn’t wrong. If your beliefs affect the way you experience your reality, and they do, then not believing in God would cause you to create a reality where you would experience no God. The Law of Attraction will always prove you right. It has to. That’s the law. But while it would be easy to keep the question in that realm, you asked me what I believe, and so I’ll tell you (plus, I wanted to know what would come out if I connected and wrote this). Just keep in mind that you do not have to believe the same. You get to choose. I will not be mad at you if you don’t completely agree with me.
What I believe
Yes, Awesome Dudette, there is a God. But he’s not a petty, old, white man with long hair, sitting “up there” in the clouds somewhere, judging us and periodically terrorizing us, while pretending to love us unconditionally. That’s the God that humans created in their image many, many years ago. Given that we’re not nearly as miserable as we were 2.000 years ago, it would stand to reason that we, at the very least, update that image… But I digress.
I believe that I am God. And you are God. We’re all God. We are the designers. We are the creators. We are all all-powerful beings. And when you’re all-powerful, when you can do whatever you want, have whatever you want, be whatever you want, EVERYTHING kind of loses its flavor. It gets boring. Think about it: when you get really, really good at something and there’s nothing left to learn, nowhere to advance to (because you can do it all), doesn’t it get boring for you? Well, we weren’t going to put up with that. We wanted excitement, adventure, exhilaration! But how to do you experience excitement in an environment in which you are the master of everything, where you know everything, where nothing is a challenge? Easy! You create limitations. You make the rules harder. You up the game.
We created this physical environment, with all its limitations, and then purposefully forgot Who We Really Are, so we could experience the full gamut of frequencies it had to offer. We threw ourselves into this world and explored it, each and every last frequency, knowing as we did so, that the pull of Who We Really Are would always eventually prevail. It would always bleed through a little, until we got close enough to the vicinity of that energy to wake up. That’s where we are now. But even in this awakening, there’s so much to explore. There’s still contrast, there are still so many of us bumping around, figuring it out in different ways. We’re nowhere near the energy of Who We Really Are (not even close, and no, not even when we transition into non-physical). We haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of that kind of power.
If you read the post The Definitive Mega Post On Why Bad Stuff (And Everything Else) Happens, you might’ve been a little confused by it the first time around. In that post, I described the many Bobs, which was my attempt at conveying the vision I get of OURSELVES. We split ourselves into many layers, and each layer into many individuals, each more narrowly focused, in an attempt to cover all the bases and fully experience each frequency, even the tiniest of details this world has to offer. Bob was my metaphor for God, and God is just a metaphor for Us. Yeah, I know, this is BIG SHIT.
Like a pyramid. Kind of
Imagine a pyramid made of people. You’re at the bottom, having a very specific experience. You can only see one perspective at a time. Now, when you die, you move up a layer. Now you can see all the perspectives of those below you. They are different aspects of you. And while you adore whatever story they are living and showing you, you want them to do well, to be happy. And you offer your higher perspective, where you can see more, to help them. They can accept that view or not, they have total choice, but you won’t be mad at them if they don’t. Because all perspectives are valuable.
Now, imagine that the current layer and the layer above you exist simultaneously. The next layer up isn’t created when you die. It’s always been there. When you die, you simply withdraw your focus from that one, narrow perspective, and step into a greater awareness, like waking up from a dream where you had very limited options, and realizing that in your REAL life, you have way more options. It’s still you, just you with a greater perspective, more options, a bigger view.
Now, imagine that this REAL you is just another limited dream of a bigger you, and so on and so on until you get to the top of the pyramid. This top is what people want to call God, but to me, the whole pyramid is God, meaning everyone and everything is literally God. And when I connect to this vision, it’s actually less like a pyramid and more like a network (it looks like a neural network to me), but that analogy is even more confusing, so we’ll leave it at that.
That does that top level look and feel like? This I can’t tell you. I’ve never even come close to that frequency, and I don’t think it’s actually possible to get anywhere near it while in the physical. Since our human minds are built to focus narrowly and to only be able to hold one perspective at a time, I don’t believe we have the ability to perceive an existence that can simultaneously experience an infinite number of perspectives at once.
Is there someone looking out for you?
Well, now that I’ve answered that question (ha! But you did ask…), let’s tackle the other one: Is there someone out there looking out for us? Well, yes! It’s us. YOU are looking out for you. And YOU love you. But, and I have to point this out, there’s an inherent flaw in your question, that implies that you want someone to DO stuff for you. You want someone to keep you safe. Well, you’re inherently safe. You can’t not be safe, just as you can’t not be worthy. You’re in charge, so if there’s danger, it’s only there because you created it. And if the only danger that exists is there because you created it, then you can’t be in danger. Therefore, you’re safe.
Your question still has a bit of powerlessness in it. You want someone to be there for you, to make sure you get what you want. The only reason this would be necessary is if you didn’t have the power to always get what you want, if the process, the mechanism wasn’t perfect. You’re asking this question because you’re not completely convinced of your own power. You want a safety net, because you haven’t yet realized that you can’t possibly fall. It’s all a hologram, after all, a creation by you. For you. It’s all you.
Nothing is random
You said in your question that if the process of creation is really so mechanical, then it would mean that everything just happens randomly. But that’s the exact opposite of how it is. Nothing is random. You have perfect control! If everything that comes to you comes in response to something, and if you have total control over that something, then you have total control over what comes to you. It couldn’t be less random. Randomness implies no control whatsoever. The thought of everything being random feels so awful to you because it couldn’t be further from the truth.
You said that you I want the Universe/God to love us. God/Universe/YOU do.
You said you want to believe that no matter what is happening in your life (even the crappy things), a good reason/thing is hidden in all of it. That’s always the case. Everything that is happening to you is happening for you, because of you, inspired by you, to mirror you. It’s all there to take you from precisely where you are right NOW, and bring you ever closer to the energy of Who You Really Are.
You said that one day you want to be able to see it and everything will make perfect sense. You’re on your way. You always have been. But your understanding is becoming keener now. That’s why this question came up. You’re stepping into your own power and in order to do so, you have to drop the conflicting beliefs that were so apparent in your question.
You said that this can only happen if a loving force is guiding you in every moment and encouraging you and showing you the right path. Well, in a way that is there. But this statement of yours has the most powerlessness in it. You forget that you can’t be on the wrong path. There is no “right” path. You can’t get this wrong. You can choose to create pain for yourself or pleasure. But you can’t stop evolving. You can’t stop hearing the call of Who You Really Are. The path you choose to get to there is irrelevant, it’s just your choice. But you can’t NOT get there. So, you don’t need someone looking out for you (although YOU and all incarnations of YOU are), you don’t need someone guiding you (although that guidance is always available to you if you choose to take it). You don’t need to be shown the path. YOU’RE ON THE PATH! You can’t get off it. This is it. This is the path. Stop looking for the path and enjoy it already. Stop looking for someone to guide you and realize you can’t not be guided, you can’t leave the path, you can’t get it wrong. Ever.
Yes, there’s a God. Yes, she loves you because she is you. And me. And all of us. We’re all God. Ultimately, we’re all one. The Law of Attraction, while a perfect mechanism, is incredibly spiritual, and although I do my best to dissect different elements in order to explain them more clearly, you can’t really separate any of it. Also, if you ask me existential questions, I will answer you, but you might end up even more confused than you were before. That’s normal. And it’s ok. Because if you’re willing to ask and be confused by the answer, if you’re willing to accept the confusion for a bit and sit with it, you’ll get the clarity you’re looking for. It will all become clear. You’re in the process of clarifying now. Relax. Enjoy it. Let it come. Trust that it will come. And then, just like any other manifestation, the clarity you want will manifest. It has to. That’s the simple, elegant, perfect, non-judgmental Law of Attraction.