Ok, so when the same issue comes up several times in a short period, I know that’s the Universe trying to get me to write about something. In the past 2 weeks, I’ve had this scenario come up four times! That’s the manifestational equivalent of getting smacked in the back of the head for me, so alright, alright, already. I’ve got the message!
Awesome Client Susie (totally made up name) has been working on finding her dream guy, we shall call him Mr. Dreamy. We’ve figured out where her resistance is, made a vibrationally sound list of qualities she wants him to have, and she’s been visualizing herself into near-orgasmic states. Mr. Dreamy couldn’t be far away, with a high flying energy that felt that good. In fact, judging by what I had read from her in our last session, I fully expected her to have met someone amazing by this month’s call.
“Nothing big happened”
When I asked her at the beginning of the call how the month had gone, she replied “Ok. Nothing big happened”. Fair enough. Everything unfolds in perfect timing, and just because something felt imminent, didn’t mean it had to happen in 30 days. 31 would be ok, too. Anywho, as we continued to talk, she told me the story of how her sister had won a trip to the Caribbean and had asked her to come. And even though the idea of going to an island resort (full of gorgeous, relaxed men. Just saying…) lit her on fire and made her want to jump up and do the happy dance, she’d decided that asking her boss for the time off work would simply be too uncomfortable. And so, she’d decided not to go. Not only that, but she hadn’t even really considered the whole event a big deal, given that nothing had come of it.
I nearly fell out of my chair. I think I may have gone into spasms, or something. So there she was, lining herself up with Mr. Dreamy, and the Universe goes off and gives her sister a Caribbean vacation, inspires her to share it with her, almost certainly inspired the perfect Mr. Dreamy candidate to also be at that very resort at that exact same time, and this incredibly elaborate and detailed plan was about to be thwarted by her unwillingness to even ask for the time off because it might be a bit “uncomfortable”. Thank goodness I was there to (lovingly) slap some sense into her.
I’m not making fun or poor Susie, I’m really not. In fact, this is a much more common scenario than you might think (4 in one week, remember?). We tend to get so stuck in our daily lives, so seduced by our current reality, and so sucked into the belief that there is no magic (there is totally magic!), that when amazing crap like this lines up, we often totally miss it. We miss the awesomeness that’s trying to come to us, that the Universe is always trying to bring to us, just because we don’t really believe that our lives are going to change, not drastically anyway. Oh sure, we hope they’ll change, but when it comes right down to it, when the rubber meets the road, when the doody hits the fan, so to speak, we go right back to our old patterns. When opportunity comes a-knockin’, we assume it’s a solicitor, and we sick the dogs on them (American definition of solicitor, not the British one. Just felt I should clarify that before I get politely sued).
In other words: If your sister wins a Caribbean vacation and asks you to go, and your first reaction is “OMG! Yes!”, YOU FREAKING GO!
But… what about my responsibilities?
“Yes”, I can hear you saying now, “that’s all fine and good. But what about if Susie’s boss says, no? What about if she loses her job just for asking? What if we have other responsibilities that don’t allow us to run off to some island resort with beaches, and volleyball and drinks with little umbrellas in them and hunky men with six pack abs offering to personally ensure our sunscreen coverage is thorough, and um, what was I talking about? Right. Abs. I mean, objections. I mean, if I was asked to go on a tropical vacation right now, I wouldn’t be able to say yes. So what if she just can’t go, Melody? Huh? What then?!?”
I hear you. I do. And now, it’s my turn. Nice tangent into tropical ab land by the way. I rather enjoyed that. Let’s take your objections apart one by one, shall we?
What if Susie’s boss says no? – So what if he does? She can deal with it then. But that’s not a reason not to ask. After all, what if he says yes? What if she goes and has the time of her life and meets Mr. Dreamy and falls head over heels in love and has tons of gorgeous babies? Huh? What then?!?
What about if she loses her job just for asking? – Then I say she dodged a bullet and good riddance. She can look for another job after she gets back from her vacation.
If I was asked to go on a tropical vacation right now, I wouldn’t be able to say yes. – Here’s the thing: You’re not Susie. This is HER manifestation, not yours. Your manifestations don’t come to you in ways you can’t accept. In other words, if you really can’t go, then the Universe will not bring you a Caribbean vacation. It’ll find another way for you to meet up with your manifestation (but an equally awesome one!).
Why we’re reluctant to go for the awesomeness
We human beings are often so reluctant to take advantage of the amazing opportunities that come our way, because we think there’s a risk. Silly little us. We think that there’s a price to pay, a sacrifice which will be demanded of us, a douchebag genie who grants wishes, but in the worst possible way. In other words, we suck at trusting. But think it through: If you are a match to what you want, why would the Universe bring it to you in a way that you couldn’t take advantage of? Why would it just mess with you like that, dangling your heart’s desire in front of you, while singing “Neener! Neener!”, like a playground bully playing keep away with your favorite doll?
Why in the hell would we (because WE are ultimately in charge, the big WE, the Who We Really Are WE) set it up like that? Well, we wouldn’t. And we didn’t. When a manifestation comes to you, everything you need in order to experience that manifestation comes with it. So, in this case, Susie’s boss said yes. It wasn’t even an issue.
This is why you don’t have to worry about manifesting the money for the house you want. If you become a match to the house, any money you might need to make it a reality will come to you. You don’t have to come up with your next million dollar idea. If you’re a match to joyful business success, all the ideas, people and connections you need in order to make that happen will come to you. You are not given what you want, only to have it put on an unreachable pedestal and to be told that you’ll have to earn it first. The Universe is not a sadistic bastard.
If the Universe brings you Mr. Dreamy via a tropical vacation, you will get the time off. Period. Unless you chicken out and assume that life can’t possibly be that good/easy/amazing. But, if you can trust that everything is always lining up perfectly for you, and that if something feels like joy to you, if something makes you jump up and down, then not only will it happen, but your life will become a series of awesome events.
Ok, I can hear one more loud objection out there. Many of you just stood up and began telling the story of how something showed up and it DID feel like awesomeness, but then it didn’t work out. You met the guy and he did feel amazing, and you moved across the country for him, but then you found out he was still living in his parents’ basement, was wanted by the mafia, had been awarded the 2013 douche of year award, and had a bad case of bacne (back acne). How does that fit into the above scenario?
In every single one of those cases, I guarantee you, even if you don’t want to admit it, you got ahead of your manifestation and were trying to make something happen. You determined that this guy was the ONE. You turned an impulse to spontaneously have dinner with him into a spontaneous move across the country. In other words, you misinterpreted your feelings as being better than they actually were. In most cases, this happens when someone has been blocking their awesomeness for so long that they no longer know what it feels like. Then, they mistake any positive emotion that slips through the fog as awesomeness. It’s a bit like thinking every gold watch you see is a Rolex. Luckily, as you study the Law of Attraction and begin to pay more attention to your feelings, you’ll become reacquainted with positive emotions and will become more and more sensitive to them. You’ll stop mistaking a feeling of interest for “Holy Crap! I HAVE TO DO THIS!” You’ll become more discerning, and will relax more.
I find it so interesting that the people that totally overdo it when a somewhat positive manifestation pierces through their (former) darkness, are often the same ones who have the most trouble recognizing the real thing when it shows up. The desperation that caused them to throw all caution and sense to the wind for some experience that just didn’t totally suck, is borne of intense fear which keeps them from believing that the “real thing” can even show up, or at least can’t show up this easily. In fact the ease and simplicity of our manifestations often scare us. We don’t trust anything we don’t work hard for. We don’t trust anything we haven’t earned.
How can you tell the difference?
So, how can you tell the difference between a truly positive manifestation, something you should run towards with all the enthusiasm and trust you can muster, and a tendency to overreact? Here’s a simple litmus test that will help you separate true awesomeness from the contrast (manifestations designed to help you figure out what you want by showing you what you don’t want): How have you been feeling lately? What have you been doing lately? If you’ve been focusing deliberately in a way that allows you to feel good, and if you’ve actually been feeling better and better, then the chances are really, really good that what has just showed up in your reality is the real deal.
On the other hand, if you’ve been feeling desperate and worried, and if you’re just willing something to freaking happen so you can feel better already goddammit, then the chances are really, really good that you’re about to get smacked. Hard.
In other words, it’s all about the momentum you’ve been building. If you’ve been feeling better and better, your manifestation is just an extension of that. If you’ve been feeling crappy and wishful and desperate, your manifestation is just an extension of that.
The key is to not dismiss anything that feels good. Notice it. Take a look at it. Ask yourself what it’s an extension of. And, if you’ve clearly been feeling better and better, then go for it! Run to the Caribbean. Take that job! Go out with that guy! Take the leap! Don’t miss your awesomeness out of habit or fear or complacency. Assume that whatever has shown up is leading you somewhere. Somewhere really good. If you want to be cautious, at least look into it. Research it. Read about it. Talk to people about it (likeminded people; do not go asking the Muggles for advice!) See what comes of that. Look for the awesomeness. Be open to it. Assume it exists and that it is coming. Because, well, it is.