Coaching Call #063 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: She Wants Help with her Delinquent Teenage Son.
This mother is worried about her 14 year old son, who has gotten into some habits that she and society disapprove of. Is he headed down a horrible path, or is something else going on? This call is relevant to all parents of teenagers (current and future), and well, the teenagers themselves. Quick warning: This may be the most politically incorrect call I’ve ever done (I don’t care), because I tell the truth. It might be interesting to listen to this WITH your teenager and see what incredibly interesting conversations come up.
This call ended up being a little longer than normal, but I wasn’t willing to cut out even a single word.
Awesome Laurel’s burning question is: “I know this question is going to seem kind of silly compared to the big, weighty questions you usually answer, but I think it’s an interesting one anyway.
If we are truly creators in our reality, why aren’t there any fairies, unicorns and dragons? Or magic (not the metaphorical kind, but the real, wiggle your nose, and make the vacuum run itself kind)? I know a lot of people think and wish for this stuff – as I did as a kid. It’s all over the movies and TV, so clearly it’s on a lot of people’s minds.
My second question: do you think there is some alternate universe somewhere where those things exist? I can’t figure out why we, collectively as a species, are so entranced with some of those ideas. People have been painting and writing about those types of things for hundreds and thousands of years. What is going on?”
Dear Awesome Laurel,
Your question isn’t silly at all, my dear (no such thing as silly questions, only silly beliefs making you think your question is too lightweight to ask). I think you’ll find the answer surprisingly filled with insights. I did.
Where da fairies at?
First of all, who the hell says there are no fairies, unicorns and dragons? Who says there is no magic? I don’t know about you, but my life is filled with magic, and yes, I mean the wiggle your nose and poof, it happens kind (minus the nose wiggling part). What you’re really asking about is a form of instant manifestation, where you ask for something and use some method (magic, a fairy, a genie in a bottle, a credit card, etc.) to make it an instant reality. And I’m here to tell you that instant manifestation is possible. It’s just not always allowed by us or even wanted. Let me explain and in so doing, it will become clear why there aren’t a bunch of magic-dust-sprinkling fairies bopping about doing your bidding (or rather, why there are, but you just can’t see them. Sort of. I’ll get to it, I promise.)
Magic is all around you
Ok, so first of all, let’s clear one thing up: The word magic is subjective. As the British writer Arthur C. Clarke quipped: “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” In other words, it’s only magic if you can’t explain it. While people are looking for fairies and genies, technological advances have made all kinds of heretofore “magical” things possible. Want to fully cook your food in seconds? Check. Want to communicate with anyone in the world from anywhere in the world? Check. Want to have the power to create incredible works of video or graphic art without any real technical knowledge and for very little money? Check. Want to reach the whole world with your message? Check. I mean, the 3-D printer alone represents possibilities that were, until recently, considered Science Fiction (kind of a step between magic and technology, because it’s based on things that don’t yet exist, but we can kind of figure out how they will become possible.) And don’t think that no one is working on a way to use the 3-D printer to make food (yep, that’s happening NOW).
But I have a question for you: Why is the vampire more magical than the mobile phone? Why is it only magical if you don’t know how the trick was done? EVERYTHING can be explained, eventually, all we have to do is to catch up technologically. So, if your criteria for judging something as “magical” is that you don’t know how it’s done, you will not only find the magic in your life shrinking as our knowledge increases, but you’ll keep yourself from experiencing truly magical things. How? Remember that just wanting something isn’t enough.
You can’t experience something…
- that you don’t believe in.
- that you won’t allow, because you’ve restricted how it has to come about too narrowly.
- that you’re not a match to.
Them’s the rules. So, what happens when we apply these rules to your questions?
Why do you want to see fairies?
Why do you want to see fairies? Well, if you’re like most people, it’s for one or all of these reasons:
You want them to make your life easier by just granting your wishes, whether you’re match to what you’re wishing for or not. This. Will. Never. Work. Even if there are fairies (and I’m not saying there aren’t), they cannot help you manifest something that you’re not a match to (Rule Number 3). They cannot defy the Law of Attraction. So, wishing there are fairies who will do the work for you, is a bit like wanting to win the lottery so that you can have the life you want. If you’re not already a match to something, you can’t manifest the means to make it happen. There’s no cheating in this game.
You want validation that there is magic in the world, that unseen forces are helping us, or that there’s more to this world than meets the eye. The only problem is that you want this validation, or rather need it, because you don’t currently believe in any of those things. You WANT to believe, but you don’t. Well guess what? You just smashed up against Rule Number 1. In order to experience magic, you have to allow yourself to believe in magic. All of this “I’ll believe it when I see it” nonsense will get you nowhere. Fortunately, there’s a way to ease into that belief, if you allow it. Which brings me to my next point: the third reason you want to see fairies.
You think it would be fun to have a magical experience. So far so good, HOWEVER… You have decided that fairies have to look a certain way, and you’re not willing to recognize any manifestation that falls outside of these narrowly defined parameters. Hello, Rule Number 2. Let me give you an example: Let’s say you’ve been thinking about fairies and how cool it would be to see one. And then, like freaking magic, a truck with a big ass fairy drawn on it pulls up next to you in traffic. I can hear you shouting at me now: “That’s not what I asked for. That’s a picture of a fairy, not a real fairy.” Well, let me point something out to you: How do you expect to manifest a full blown magical experience if you’re not even willing to recognize the bit of magic that made this gorgeous manifestation happen for you? Eh? If you’re not willing to see the magic that’s already there, you’re closing yourself off from seeing more. And here’s the really profound part: You can apply this insight to all manifestations. If you’re not willing to recognize the goodness in people that you have access to now, you can’t get more. If you’re not willing to see the abundance that’s in your life now, you can’t get more. If you’re not willing to enjoy the hot, young men in your life… ah, you get the point.
Why you don’t really want instant manifestation
There’s another problem with the whole idea of magic, as most people see it. As I explained above, it’s a cop out, a way to get an instant manifestation of something that’s currently missing, meaning you’re not a match to it. Never mind that whole you can’t freaking defy LOA thingy, let’s just quickly take a look at why you don’t even really want everything to manifest instantly. It’s very simple, really; if everything you wanted showed up all at once, right now, you wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. You’d be stressed out of your mind (most likely literally, like, they’d haul you away to the looney bin). Think about it: If you suddenly woke up in a completely different reality, where you had the big house, the amazing husband, 2 kids in their teens, a fabulous job, a gorgeous car and investments in the millions, with no idea how you got there, it would cause a bit of a wrinkle in the old noggin (or schizophrenia. Just saying). We are built to live in a linear fashion and to consciously make the journey from A to B. Waking up next to a fabulous husband is only fun when you actually know who the hell he is. Otherwise, you’re just a freaked out chick with a fabulous husband and amnesia (“I swear to God, yesterday I was single and living in a one bedroom apartment, and now I’m here…”)
You wouldn’t remember meeting him, your courtship, the wedding, the honeymoon, being pregnant, having the kids, finding and buying the house, setting up the investments one by one so you could learn how to do it, buying the car, getting the job (or where you work for that matter), and so on and so on. Do you see now why getting things instantly, while sounding romantic, would just be chaos? And while $10 million in your account tomorrow sounds great, it might not be so awesome trying to convince the tax man that the money didn’t come from illegal sources and just “appeared”. Wouldn’t it better to manifest the money in a way that was logical and covered all the bases? Being an instant rock star might sound amazing now, but the fame and fortune wouldn’t come with years of experience, knowing how to handle the media with aplomb (doing interviews without saying something that could kill your career, how to deal with the paparazzi without having a meltdown, etc.), or how to perform to hundreds of thousands of people without having a panic attack on stage because up until that point, the biggest audience you’d ever played to was the crowd on Guitar Hero. There’s a reason so many “instant success” stories end up in drug rehab. Am I starting to make my case? Life is about having experiences. It’s about the journey not the destination. I know you’ve heard that before, but if you’re still looking for instant manifestation, it hasn’t really sunk in.
This isn’t to say that instant manifestation isn’t possible. Of course it is. It’s just not generally the big stuff, the stuff you need to ease into, and which you’re currently not ready for (if you were, you’d have it). I have instant manifestations all the time. If I have a conflict in my schedule, 9 times out of 10, the Universe takes care of it for me without me doing a thing. The conflict just resolves itself (one appointment is cancelled, a client calls and asks to change their appointment, stuff like that). Actually, the success rate may be quite a bit higher than that, now that I think of it. I often have a thought that I want something, only to receive it moments later (or sometimes the next day, but then it’s always perfect that it was delayed a bit. The timing is part of the perfect manifestation.)
The fairies of the Universe
Alight. Now that I’ve explained why you’re not seeing fairies, let me give you some advice on how you can bring some of this magic into your life. But I warn you, it’s not going to be unexplainable. You have to open your mind a bit to understand the explanation, but nevertheless, an explanation is possible. If what you really want is for there to be unseen forces helping you at every turn, there’s good news: those totally exist and they’re all around you. They just don’t look like Disney characters or sparkly vampires. Often, you don’t see them at all. These are the Universal forces or fairies, if you prefer. They show up as coincidences, rendezvous, perfectly orchestrated events, and even as other people. When you truly allow help to come to you, when you believe it, expect it, and don’t try to control it, you’ll be amazed at how something or someone is always there to assist you, give you a message, a hug, validation (it’s still nice, even if you don’t need it), and guidance. I’ve experienced this in my own life (and yes, I will write more about this soon), and I can tell you, it’s truly magical. It takes my breath away just thinking about the fairies and angels I’ve met. When you don’t care what form they take, you’ll meet them too.
But what about all the drawings and stuff?
Ok, so now to the second part of your question: if fairies don’t exist, or at least not necessarily in the form they take in the movies, why are there so many drawings of and stories about them? Why do so many people in history claim to have encountered magic? Well, because they have. They experienced something they couldn’t explain and then their helpful brains stepped in and translated the experience into something they could get their heads around. There really is a whole lot of stuff going on that our five senses can’t pick up. This is the non-physical realm and it’s full of experiences we can tap into, good and bad. Then, we try to translate that information through our five senses, which causes us to “see” an apparition, a fairy, a ghost, an alien, a dragon, etc. Sometimes kids actually do see monsters under their beds. I’m not saying that these things aren’t real. On the contrary.
What I’m saying is that they’re an interpretation of energy, and interpretations are influenced by our beliefs, including those which are culturally based . Did you ever notice that for a long time in our history, people saw angels and demons? Then it became fairies and dragons. And now it’s aliens. People are seeing something, but not able to explain what they’re perceiving, they’re making sense of it. They really are seeing something; they’re not making it up. It’s just that one person’s interpretation can be very different from someone else’s, and not everyone will pick up on the same energy. By the way, the need for others to experience what you’re tapping into will keep you from experiencing it, as well.
As we move more and more out of superstition and powerlessness, we’re less likely to blame our misfortunes on demons and devils and dragons (oh my!), and our good fortunes on leprechauns and fairies. Are there creatures on this planet that we haven’t yet discovered? I have no doubt that there are. Are there aliens? I don’t rule it out, and think it’s kind of arrogant to do so. But let’s not forget that we’re vibrational beings with access to all kinds of energy that goes way beyond our five senses, but with a distinct lack of knowledge of how to interpret such experiences, never mind the belief that they exist.
So, do fairies exist? Well, you can manifest anything you can imagine, believe and allow. So I guess, the question really goes to you: Do they exist (for you)? For me, they do. All kinds of wonderful magic does. The way I see it, we’re all magical creatures, with powers far greater than we’ve realized. And with everything that we “know”, with all the teachings that people like Esther Hicks (Abraham), Darryl Anka (Bashar), Osho, Eckard Tolle, and others bring through, with all the knowledge I’ve personally gained over the years and published here, I’m continuously reminded and humbled by the realization that we’re really just beginning to scratch the surface. There is so, SO much we have left to discover. So much magic to experience, so much understanding to gather, so much abundance and joy to allow. But trust me on this, you don’t want to jump right to that destination, because it’s going to be one hell of a fun ride.
See? Your question wasn’t silly at all.