Fix Your Life By Asking Better Questions

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by Melody Fletcher on July 15, 2013

 

Coaching Call #057 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: Why Light Workers Often Had Painful Childhoods

This call is a little bit longer than normal (about 15 minutes more), but I wasn’t willing to cut out anything. With every light worker (healers, teachers, coaches, uplifters) having a difficult time of it lately, with tons of resistance coming up, this call couldn’t have come at a better time. The client from Call #015 returns after one year to continue her journey. The original aim of this session was to work on her money vibration, and we did, but the journey went much, much deeper than that.

Why did so many light workers experience such difficult childhoods? Why were we so incredibly misunderstood, harassed, bullied, ostracized and shunned? What conclusions did that cause us to come to regarding our original intentions and abilities? And most of all, what can we do now to clear those old decisions and shine so brightly we’ll help to usher in the new, happy, shiny reality? If you’re a light worker (and if you’re on my blog, chances are very good that you are, even if you don’t earn your living as one), this call is for you.

See the full call summary here.

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Today’s post is going to be short and sweet. Instead of giving you a big, thorough explanation of how to shift one particular belief or set of beliefs, I’m going to share with you another simple yet powerful other technique for drastically changing your perspective. And, as we all know, when you change your perspective, you change what you focus on. When you change what you focus on, you change your vibration. And when you change your vibration, you change your life. This is how you become a happy shiny puppy. Ready? Of course you are. That’s why I adore you.

It’s all about asking questions

Here’s the thing: You’re always asking questions, whether you know it or not. Most thoughts that enter your mind are a direct response to some question you asked. One could even argue that all manifestations you receive are answers to questions, with the desire for something being the query, and the physical representation of it being the answer. Questions are powerful, and they ALWAYS elicit a response. So, one way of looking at the process of deliberately receiving your reality is to say: If you’re not getting what you want, ask better questions.

Fearful questions

Most of the questions you’re asking are entirely subconscious. They match a thought pattern that’s been practiced so consistently and for so long, it’s become automatic. For example, most people, when faced with creating a vision of their dream future, will immediately begin to ask some variation of “what if it doesn’t work out?” Once the question is asked, your mind immediately begins the process of answering it. If the question is a practiced one, it will find the answer quickly. Feelings of dread, doubt, uncertainty, insecurity, anxiety, etc. are the result.

Other examples of fearful questions are:

  • What if I never find love?
  • What if I get rejected?
  • What if I can’t find a job?
  • What if other people have the power to keep me from getting what I want?
  • What if life is getting worse?
  • What if I fail?
  • What if he doesn’t call me?
  • What if I bomb the performance?
  • What if no one buys my product/service/book/etc.?
  • What if they don’t like me?
  • What if I die alone?
  • What if everything I think other people are thinking about me is true?
  • What if I get so famous that the paparazzi start stalking me and they take horribly unflattering pictures of me and plaster them all over the tabloids, and the billionaire boyfriend who was crazy about me decides that’s just too much drama for him and dumps me, causing me to sink into a deep depression where all I do is sit on my dirty, sweat stained couch, while sobbing into my donuts and watching hour after hour of the deceptively and possibly ironically named Learning Channel?

God Gawd, I feel like I need a shower after simply having written that list. Ick.

The problem is that each time you ask one of these questions, you will get an answer that matches it. Ask a icky question, get an icky answer. So, when you ask “What if I fail?”, your brain assumes that failing is totally an option, and begins to filter all the information you have access to, to show you not only what will happen if you fail, but all the evidence you’ll need to solidify your belief that this is the possible, probable and really, most likely outcome. You’ll hear of others who tried and failed. You’ll meet people who will go to great lengths to tell you why you shouldn’t even try. The books you read, the news headlines you see and the conversations you have all make it clear that your dream is doomed. DOOMED, I tell you!

Continue to focus on these thoughts, and more and more “evidence” that supports them will show up. You’ll get all the negative, awful feeling manifestations you can handle. And it all started with a stupid question.

Ask better questions

If asking a fearful question gets you unwanted results, then what would happen if you asked a hopeful question, one that presumes success instead of failure?

“What if I succeed?” will cause your mind to gallop into a totally different direction than “What if I fail?” Now, if you’re not used to asking success oriented questions, it may take your mind a little while to adjust. It may feel a bit lost at first, which can be a tad uncomfortable. The frequencies of a fear filled question and a positively focused question are completely different. You’re basically going from full speed reverse and slamming into 5th gear. Give yourself a chance to make the transition or your motor will stall (this would be the proverbial freak out, where all you want to do is run away).

If you can get past the initial discomfort and keep asking the positive question “What if I succeed?”, your mind will find the answers that match it.  It has to. Your mind will presume that success is not only possible, but after just a little bit of continued focus, probable and really, the most likely outcome. Ask a question that presumes that you’ll get what you want and your mind will simply accept it. This is often a much easier tactic than simply contradicting a limiting belief.

Questions vs. Affirmations

When you come up with affirmations, you’re usually going to simply contradict some kind of belief you have which no longer serves you. If you believe that you aren’t worthy, you may begin to feed your mind with “I am worthy”. The problem is that if your affirmation is too far removed from your current thought, you’re going to get little relief. This would represent a quantum leap, and those rarely work out.

By asking “what if I am worthy?” or “what would it feel like to be worthy?” or “what if I was worthy all along?”, you’re not just trying to get your mind to accept a new belief, you’re asking it to assume this hypothesis is possible and to go searching for evidence that it’s true. Instead of bombarding it with information it doesn’t currently agree with, you’re involving it in the process. Your mind likes that. Now you’re working WITH the mind instead of against it. And that’s always going to be more fun and effective.

More positive questions

So, let’s turn the questions from above around, shall we?

  • What if love is about to find me?
  • What if he/she says yes?
  • What if I find my dream job?
  • What if other people have no power to keep me from getting what I want? What if I’m more powerful than I’ve ever thought?
  • What if life is getting better and better?
  • What if I succeed?
  • What if he calls me? Or what if an even better guy calls me?
  • What if I rock the performance?
  • What if tons of people buy my product/service/book/etc., and love it?
  • What if they adore me?
  • What if I live a long and joy filled life, full of friends and family and community?
  • What if all the compliments I get are actually true?
  • What if I get so famous that the paparazzi start stalking me and they take somewhat unflattering pictures of me and plaster them all over the tabloids, sparking a discussion on what actual beauty really is, and causing people to come to different conclusions than the media have been trying to lead us to, while my billionaire/artist/philanthropist boyfriend adores me more than ever and through some miracle of coincidences the Learning Channel changes its programming and actually lives up to its name again? Oh, and something about puppies and shit…

When you give your mind the task of answering these questions, you’ll get completely different answers. And if you continue to focus on these thoughts, more and more “evidence” that supports them will show up. You’ll get all the positive, inspiring, awesome, joy filled, passionate, amazing feeling manifestations you can handle. And it all started with a stupid question. Ha.

What questions are you asking? What answers are you getting? Share in the comments!

 






{ 23 comments }

Cheryl July 16, 2013 at 00:08

Melody, you know I love this… Ask better questions! It just totally lifts you out of whatever crap-soup you’re dredging yourself through and back to “OMG look! a shiny happy puppy!! *insert holy choir voices here*”

Also, TLC. *knowing nod*. What if they did go back to being truly educational? That is a better question than “who the hell wants to learn about Honey Boo Boo, and why are these freaks on my TV???!?!” LOL I remember when TLC had, like, lions eating helpless animals in the desert and microscopic pictures of things. When you learned from it. I liked that :)

My brain fights me on affirmations. Fights me even on gratitude and “hey, wouldn’t it be cool if…?” – My brain cannot fight a question! It answers all questions, and searches for the answer until it does! Like Ask Jeeves, back when it was cool/relevant. You should write a book on this and call it “Manifestation for the Analytical, A-Type Personality/Capricorns/People Who Haven’t Released Their Limiting Beliefs Around Control” – I’d buy it.

Me and my brain are gonna have a sweet chat tonight about what will happen if I’m successful and have everything I want. What if every answer it came up with – came true??

<3 Shine bright! <3

Bobby July 16, 2013 at 00:13

Who loves ya?

You’re a great writer. Always love your stories. I, just like you, always add that one extra little sentence after some serious thoughts. Sometimes it add to my moments, sometimes it diffuses the real point, especially with my best women friends.

Thanks again for all you do.

Bobby

Sunflower July 16, 2013 at 00:25

I’ve been following your post for a while now and I really love how down to earth you are in explaining things. It’s straight to the point but also detailed and I like that! This post was right on time for me today. Let’s just say that I feel like I’ve been on a roller coaster ride all day long and I just got fed up at one point and said Universe please send me some inspiration something to lift my spirits. I ramdonly check my inbox and see this post and it hit the nail on the head for me. It’s EXACTLY what I needed to hear because I was definitely asking myself the WRONG questions, and quickly turned that around and asked myself some positive ones instead and I feel so much better! I really had no idea asking myself the wrong questions could bring me results i wouldn’t have been to happy with. Thank you for writing this I will be putting this tecnique to use in my life as often as I can. Take care!!! ????

Melanie July 16, 2013 at 00:29

Wow…. Reading this instantly made me feel so happy. (: I definitely need to work on this in my life!!!

Lori July 16, 2013 at 01:30

You are pure Awesomeness. This is just the bridge I needed to get my brain to switch from doubts to affirmations. Perfect!

Wendi July 16, 2013 at 02:33

Ohhhh super Awesome again Melody. My brain goes after questions and works so freaking hard to solve them…THIS….is really good. And so damn simple! Makes me want to ask, “why didn’t I think of that”?.

Headed to start writing a new list of super awesome questions. I am going to have a REALLY good time with this one!

You are awesome as always Melody!

Lisa July 16, 2013 at 03:51

awesome! I will keep practicing!!

Victoria July 16, 2013 at 05:00

Just had to thank you from the top and bottom of my heart for this post.

Debi July 16, 2013 at 15:19

I needed this TODAY. Having just broken up with my boyfriend of 3+ years, the thoughts of a new relationship were not positive and I was asking negative questions. Most definitely needed a way to turn THAT around. Thanks for a fantastic post.

Laurel July 16, 2013 at 17:49

So what if I was needing to find a different way, and someone turned me on to this great website about Law of Attraction? What if I started reading, and listening and learning how to be a happy, shiny puppy? What if it changed my life, and all sorts of amazing stuff started falling in my lap? Oh yea… that already happened.

What if it got even better? What if Even more cool stuff started happening? What if the sky was the limit?

What if, indeed. :)

CIndy July 16, 2013 at 20:00

Ohmygosh, thank you so much for this….it’s funny cause I was just asking questions about how this whole subconscious questioning thing works and i’m guessing this is my answer haha :) xo

Sammi July 16, 2013 at 22:13

This is a brilliant post indeed. Helped me switch my mood from pretty neutral to really happy and feeling good in just a few minutes by asking myself one or two positive questions about my future.

Wendi July 17, 2013 at 15:40

Super Magical Melody:

Update – after reading this life changing blog – I have literally made pages and pages and pages of “what if’s”..I have been ABSOLUTELY AMAZED, at the ease at which my mind has taken this on. There is very little resistence right now as my fingers fly over the keyboard typing our my desires as fast as my mind can think it up. Strangely (can’t believe I’m saying this to the open public) it’s like my mind has checked out and I am running on autopilot. Instead of struggling to think of ways to get around all of my resistence from my mind, the thoughts of “what if” are coming from the region of the Heart Chakra – and my mind is NOT RESISTING, i can feel the actual speed that my mind is working to answer the questions! It’s opened up a whole new world and level of understanding.

I know that I am going to eventually run into some resistence, I’m totally good with that and will work to move the energy when it shows up. This perspective, this blog, is a total perception and life changer.

Things do just get better and better..LOL…

Much love to you for working, and bringing to us, easier ways to make the laws of attraction understandable ..:)

Moonsparkle July 17, 2013 at 16:22

Thank you for the post. :) I’m finding it helpful and am having a go at asking better questions.
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Mikaela July 18, 2013 at 01:43

… I know for a fact that this post just changed my life. I’m a master at the what-if game, but up to this point in my life all the questions I’ve been causing my brain to find evidence for, were icky questions. I’ve been sitting here playing the NEW “what-if” game, and making a list of new possibilities. My mind is going craaazy and I can physically feel my vibe rising.
THANK YOU MELODY!
You’ve done it again, bringing inspiration and life-changing perspective into my life in your happy shiny puppy way :P

fs July 18, 2013 at 20:45

One of my favorite questions is “How does it get better than this??”
I had an awesome last week while asking this question..until..until..at the end of the week things, stable things, started to fall apart. However after reading Melody’s post where someone asks her if gratitude makes things worse, I realized that by asking the question “how does it get better than this?” and things starting fall apart it means even BETTER things are coming :) and they did come this week lol, though not HOW i wanted, but i should really let go of the how lol

Lori July 19, 2013 at 02:39

“i should really let go of the how”

Yes! This! I catch myself so many times visualizing and affirming something awesome, and then my brain spirals in to “BUT HOW?!” because it wants to be detail-oriented and in control, and all this flow stuff sometimes kerfuffles it. Dear little brain still trying to take care of me.

I would love more insight on “letting go of the how”.

Shauna September 11, 2013 at 17:33

It’s a little late, but I really enjoyed this post – A LOT – and like commenter Wendi, above, I will now go start a fun list of what if’s and see where it takes me.

Just wanted to ‘third’ the request for dealing with our (my) incessant need to see HOW things are going to happen…if I can’t see it, my mind resists…and you two /\ /\ show me I’m not alone. It’s kind of annoying…it stops my belief in ‘big’ stuff, even when I know it’s all the same stuff. Melody?…:)

Stacy Claflin July 19, 2013 at 04:02

Hi Melody,
I really like the “what if” part of the questions. I’m familiar with afformations (starting the questions with “why am I…?”) but I haven’t found them to work so well because there’s usually a block when I know it’s not the truth. I used the “what if…” questions this morning and what a difference it made! Thanks so much!
Stacy
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Nathalie July 20, 2013 at 22:17

Melody, you are brilliant! (But you knew that, of course… ;-) ) This is such an inspirational post, and I am going to have so much fun playing the “What If” game this afternoon!

Seriously — this is such a great way to get around the resistance that so many people have with affirmations. Going to post this one to my FB page for my readers to check out! :-)
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Tina July 23, 2013 at 00:07

How does it get even better? How did I get so lucky? What else is possible? What if I succeed? What if it is more fun than ever? Love it! Thank you, Melody!

SK July 29, 2013 at 05:52

Let em tell you a little story

When I was a boy, I love watching Dragon Ball Z (still am). On day, while I was watching it, my grandma asked me: “if you somehow managed to catch shenron (the chinese dragon in that TV show) and cut it in half, what would you find inside?”.
me : “that’s easy. I will find all 7 dragonballs inside”.
grandma: “and what do you think those dragonballs are made of?”
me: “errrrr….. I don’t know, dragon something, dragon esss….sence???”
grandma : “no my dear, it is energy, pure cosmos energy. shenron the Chinese Dragon is made entirely of energy. It’s not flesh an blood. And that is why the dragon can go into and out of form easily without killing itself. And this is also why the dragon form is only temporary. ”
me : “no grandma, shenron is made of 7 dragon balls….. like there’s 7 smaller dragons inside. so when we join them together, we make the big Dragon.”
grandma : “everything is energy…. when I die, I will return to the golden stream of energy”
me : “no, grandma, it’s not like that…..”

and on that note, I argued with her and refused to listen to her wisdom.

….fast forward many years and I stumbled into LOA + this blog early this year.
it’s all making perfect sense.

but grandma has passed on…..

Robyn Woods December 3, 2013 at 08:25

Melody,
This is one if the best articles I’ve ever read. Thank you so much!

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