The 7 Things You Joke About That May Be Keeping You Stuck

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by Melody Fletcher on May 6, 2013

 

Coaching Call #047 came out yesterday. The topic of this week’s call is: She Loves to Give to Others, But Has A Lot of Trouble Receiving.

Like most light workers, this caller had no problem giving until it hurt and beyond. But she couldn’t get comfortable with the idea of receiving, i.e. being paid or even having people to favors for her, unless she’d given them AT LEAST equal value or preferably, much, much more in return. This set of limiting beliefs stunted her earning potential and created a lot of resistance in her vibration.

It’s no coincidence that my business is called Deliberate Receiving. I don’t think I’ve ever explained the concept of giving and receiving, as they should be, more clearly. If tend to feel guilty when others give you to, if you have trouble asking for help, and/or if you don’t know how to ask for the prices or pay you think you deserve, this call is for you.

Read the full call summary here.

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Ok, so I spend a lot of time on Facebook and oter sites, looking at funny images. You know I love me some funny crap. LOL cats? Hell yes. Sarcasm? Bring it on. Puppies doing adorable things with speech bubbles that make them seem just a little bit dirty? Jackpot. And, while I really don’t want to rain on anybody’s parade, and fully acknowledge that “funny” is totally subjective, I’ve noticed a trend in the kinds of pics that people choose to post, and how they may not be serving them at all.

I’m the first to find humor in just about anything. Even if a joke is kind of mean, I’d rather laugh at it than condemn it. This is because I realized quite some time ago that whatever we push against, we get more of. So, when a joke focuses on something I don’t want, I might chuckle, but then I move on. I don’t share it, post it, like it or draw attention to it in any way. And I certainly don’t go looking for more of the same. I don’t want to perpetuate the energy of a subject that isn’t in line with what I want.

There are a lot of funny images and quotes out there. And laughter is generally good for the soul. But, are all jokes good for us? Is joyous laughter the same as bitter laughter? I’d like to make the case that no, it’s not. And each one has its place.

Respect the evolution

When we’re in pain and feeling powerless, angry or bitter jokes will help us feel better. But when we’re no longer feeling powerless, then more positively focused jokes will bring more relief. At this point, we may still find those negative jokes funny to an extent, but they will not represent a step UP from where we are. They can, in fact, keep us stuck in the old vibrations we’re trying to move out of.

Today, I’d like to focus on 7 different categories of jokes that may (if you are not in powerlessness) no longer be serving you. Keep in mind that laughing at a joke like this doesn’t necessarily keep you stuck (I chose the pictures I’ve posted here predominantly because I find them funny). But if your Facebook wall is littered with these kinds of images, if you are bombarding yourself with this kind of perspective, then you may want to shift your focus to what you actually want, and not what you’re now moving away from.

Disclaimer: This post isn’t aimed at the general population. For many of them, these jokes represent a step up, vibrationally. But for the audience of this blog, it’s quite probable that different parameters are starting to apply. If you want to keep evolving, you’ll have to keep watching your focus.

Category 1: Relationships suck!

marriage-like-a-deck-of-cards

marriage-just-gets-worse

There are a lot of messages out there celebrating how horrible marriage is. It seems to be a kind of accepted norm that life gets worse and worse after we get married. But does it?? I mean, if that’s actually true, then why the hell does anyone still do it? And if it’s not true, then why are we perpetuating this old view?

Marriage used to be much more about obligation and security than love. Women (and men!) were pressured into getting married, and once you were locked in, it was nearly impossible to get out. Even now, a lot of people stay together only because divorce feels “wrong”. Happiness wasn’t really much of a consideration. So, there were a lot of unhappy, horrible marriages. But that’s just no longer the case. Sure, there are still some miserable couples out there, but why focus on that paradigm?

Today, relationships are much more about love and happiness than they’ve ever been before. The divorce rate might bother some, but I see it as a good thing. It’s ok to get out if you’re not happy, and that means that people are placing happiness much higher up on their list of priorities. Couples are also much more likely to see therapy or counseling than ever before. They’re not willing to just put up with a lack of communication. They want to feel good about each other. They want to have great sex. They want to grow and evolve, both individually and as a couple. In short, people and therefore couples, are becoming more and more self-aware. And with that comes more authentic relationships, more joy, more happiness, more bliss.

If you’re constantly bitching about how horrible relationships are, you’re perpetuating the energy of what you don’t want.

Category 2: Men are children/Women are nags

marriage-men-are-overgrown-children

miss-right

I’ll let the Bullshit fairy do the talking for me on this one (Men, just substitute “Women” for “Men” and “Bitches” for “Douchebags”.

fishing-for-douchebags-400

I think I’ve made my point.

Category 3: I’m so freaking poor!

living-broka

so-broke

Making jokes about being broke may make you temporarily feel a bit better, but keep in mind that when you talk about being broke, even if it’s funny, you’re still talking about and therefore perpetuating the energy of having no money.

Often, we use humor to try and pretend that we don’t really care about something (“Ha, ha, I’m so broke, but see? I’m joking about it, so obviously it doesn’t really bother me”). No one’s buying it. Of course you care! And by not being honest about that, you’re practicing a kind of denial. The only reason this kind of pretending feels better is if you think you have to give up on your dream. You don’t. You get to have all the money you want. But you can’t attract it while constantly harping on about how little money you have.

Category 4: I’m perpetually in a bad mood!

24-7-bitch

troublemaker

Ok, so a lot of these kinds of quotes are meant to convey that we are not afraid to set boundaries. “I won’t put up with your shit”, is really just another way of saying “I’m not a doormat.” And again, if you’re currently in a powerless place, if you tend to allow people to walk all over you, then these kinds of angry, defiant messages may well serve you.

If, however, you’re not currently being walked on, or at least not on a regular basis, then reacting as though you are, actually represents a step backwards.

To me, there’s not much joy in declaring I’m a bitch. I’m actually a really nice person. And I want to spend time with other really nice people. If you’re not nice, if you’re currently stuck in a dark place and need to lash out others, then I most likely won’t be spending any time with you. But, think about it; if someone is in such a dark place, and is already feeling awful about themselves, then how is being a bitch to them going to help??

Category 5: Other people are so stupid!

slap-people

ok-until-other-people

It’s easy to blame our bad mood and frustrations on other people. But once you know about the Law of Attraction, and the fact that everything in your reality is attracted to you by you, then you really can’t get away with that crap anymore. If your reality is full of stupid people, guess what? You’ve attracted stupid people for some reason. The most likely cause is that you keep focusing on how other people are total morons, and how you’re powerless against them.

Clean up your vibration and you’ll find that not only are other people not stupid, but that there’s a lot of brilliance out there. We came to this world with its billions of people for a reason. We’re not meant to live in isolation. Other people are there for us to play with, to help mirror back our vibrations to us, but also to help us co-create bigger experiences than we could on our own. Think about it: there are some experiences that you can’t have by yourself, or which are greatly enhanced by others. Watching a game alone, at home, vs. watching it in the stadium. Having a conversation alone, v.s. a lively debate between friends. Having solo sex, vs. having sex with your soul mate. You get the idea…

Category 6: My life is so stressful/difficult/awful!

let-teh-stress-begin

little-stressed-right-now

This one’s insidious. If your life is hectic, it can be easy to consider this just a fact. Until very recently, I declared on a daily basis that “I’m so busy” (even here on this blog!), until it finally dawned on me that I wasn’t doing myself any favors with that one. Complaining about how busy I was perpetuated the busyness. So, I stopped and began to focus on ease. Within a very short amount of time, I found myself handling the same workload with much more grace. I had more time off. Things just seemed to flow more. And I felt a whole lot less busy.

Remember: WHATEVER you focus on is what you’ll get more of.

Category 7: The horrors of getting old

squat-like-its-warm

sunbathing-while-old

Yes, we all have to get older. It’s all part of this “time” thingy we’ve all agreed to abide by in this reality. But, we don’t have to get old. We don’t have to get sick. We don’t have to fall apart.

We don’t have to accept feeling bad as a natural part of the life cycle. If something doesn’t feel good, if there’s pain, then something is wrong. Unfortunately, even the medical establishment buys into this paradigm and will tell patients that many ailments are simply “normal” at a certain age. Well, I’d like to call bullshit. Feeling like crap is not normal at any age.

But if we want to thrive instead of just survive, we have to live deliberately, focus positively, expect to get better instead of worse, love ourselves, play more and be happy. Then, age is really just a number.

Did you enjoy this picture post? Were you inadvertently falling into any of the categories? Share in the comments!

 






{ 40 comments }

Dominique May 6, 2013 at 14:08

Thanks for another great post Melody. I was thinking …. how about you, or ‘us’ even, producing some LOA flip-side picture jokes to put ‘out there’? I liked your idea of ‘if you go fishing for a douchebag, you’ll catch a douchebag’ – a little image popped into my head! Anyway, you get what I mean. You/we could use some of the basic LOA principles to make a few (more helpful and vibrationally upwardly) jokes of our own? Whaddya think?
Dominique :)

Melody Fletcher May 6, 2013 at 17:37

Hey Dominique,

I actually do. If you’re a fan of my Facebook Page, you’ll see the images I share. Some I find and some I make. I do plan to make more (I’m thinking I might get an illustrator to help me create more images in the future…) But if you’d like to jump in and help, just let me know. :)

Huge hugs!

Melody
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Dominique May 6, 2013 at 17:55

I became a fan of your Facebook page today Melody so I’m looking forward to seeing those vibrationally uplifting little reminders from time to time :) Any ideas I get will come your way! Meanwhile ……. I kind of like the idea of a cupcake on the end of a fishing line!

D ;) x

Amber May 6, 2013 at 15:42

I opened this email in the moment of making a bitter joke about men to a co- worker. That’s quite amazing. I got the message. Thanks!

Melody Fletcher May 6, 2013 at 17:40

LOL Amber. Don’t you just love the timing of the Universe? :)

Huge hugs,

Melody
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John Kely May 6, 2013 at 16:13

Briliant, concise and to the point – and as always informative. Love the sense of humour..
John

Melody Fletcher May 6, 2013 at 17:40

Thanks John!

Huge hugs,
Melody
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Debi @aCountryGrandma May 6, 2013 at 16:23

I’ve deleted images like these in emails long before Facebook, etc. I think my intuition has been trying to create “deliberate receiving” far longer than I’ve known about LOA. Or maybe I just really accepted “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything”. I recently broke off a 3 year relationship due to his constant negativity especially with regard to marriage and grandchildren (children in general). Core values just didn’t line up. Thanks to what I’ve learned here … I let it go completely rather than dragging it out for years trying to “fix” it … we were definitely no longer “attracted” to each other and repulsion was starting to set in.

Thanks Melody :)
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Melody Fletcher May 6, 2013 at 17:42

Wow Debi. Thanks for sharing! It sounds like you and your ex grew apart vibrationally. You continued to move up and he was holding on to his negativity. When repulsion sets in, that’s definitely a sign that the relationship has passed its expiration date…

Huge hugs!
Melody
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G May 6, 2013 at 17:44

hahahahahahahaha awesome pics!

Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 14:51

Thanks G!

Hugs,

Melody

Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 14:52

Thanks G!

Hugs,
Melody
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B May 6, 2013 at 17:52

I was actually pretty proud of myself for having a short giggle at some of the pictures instead of stating ‘that’s so true!’ like I might have done before reading your blogs :) I loved the money ones, but my money vibration seems to be pretty good right now so I don’t think I have much of an issue with money, which is awesome lol I don’t have a problem with men, I love guys and get along with them better than most women, but I do make the odd ‘hahaha I’m single’ joke here and there, so I guess that’s a starting point I can fix.

Thanks for another epic post, Melody! :P

Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 14:54

Hey B,

Sometimes the ways in which we focus on what we don’t want are really subtle. But those little things we do can be amazing indicators of where our focus is generally at, even if we don’t realize it. It’s all about fine tuning. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Adriana Guidi May 6, 2013 at 21:03

Hi Melody!
I love this post,and I totally agree..I thought I was the only one who hated these kind of “posters” on Facebook..ugh..they just seem to perpetuate(for me anyway) more of what people don’t like..that’s why I either pass them or hide them ..lol..
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Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 14:55

Thanks Adriana,

I’ve blocked more than one person on my FB page because I got tired of all their negative stuff. Sure, I could ignore it, but if it started to bother me, out they went. I would let someone come into my home and poop all over the floor, either. ;)

Smooshy hugs,
Mleody
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Lauren May 6, 2013 at 21:55

Hey Melody,

I’m a big FB user and long ago saw the repeated sarcastic memes being posted. Like you, I may get a giggle out them but I refuse to share (except for one with a cat saying, “I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit a better argument than that” – I still laugh at it). Anyway, I’ve liked FB pages about positive things and when I see a beautiful, touching, sweet pic then I will share it with my friends. I’ve also shared some Bullshit Fairy ones as well. And I recently challenged some of my friends to watch what they share on FB. To ask themselves, is what they’re sharing positive & uplifting, or just humorously mean and/or negative? I keep coming back to Ghandi’s quote, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Thanks for posting your article and reinforcing what I had already put together.

Love & hugs!
Lauren

Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 14:57

You’re so welcome Lauren. You know, I get such a lift when I see people sharing positive stuff. Especially when I see tons of people sharing it. If you’re not already a fan, I suggest you check out George Takei’s page. He posts some really funny stuff and it’s rarely got a negative slant. The man is obviously a happy shiny puppy. :)

Hugs!
Melody
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Lucille May 6, 2013 at 22:07

This is why my FB isn’t as busy as other people’s. And why i follow so few on Tumblr. Don’t let those in, just not funny. At all. And i most certainly don’t share them on my page. Good idea to make your own, i’ll play with that thought when i have some room.
Please do not feed the fears ;)

Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 14:58

Yay Lucille!

If you do make your own, don’t be shy about pointing them out to me. I’ll be happy to share them on my FB fan page. The more joy and love, the better! And if we can manage to make it funny, that’s a bonus! :)

Huge hugs,
Melody
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Lucille May 9, 2013 at 20:08

Do love funny & sharing! I’ll be using my paintings/drawings for this, generously giving me the rights and all that :)
So if you hit an idea with nowhere to show off let me know. I might find a way to dress it up, too :)

Carole Remy May 7, 2013 at 00:46

Wonderful illustrations, Melody!

What we find funny reveals a lot, doesn’t it?! I hadn’t thought of using my reaction to ‘jokes’ as a barometer for resistances and barriers, but it makes perfect sense. Thank you so much!!

Carole

Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 15:00

Thanks Carole!

I think our reaction to anything is a good barometer. Why not jokes? Comedians are great at mirroring back society’s energy and shifting our perspective. I think it’s a highly undervalued field… :)

Huge hugs!

Melody

Vini May 7, 2013 at 01:03

Great post. I have been feeling a bit stressed and I realized after reading this post that I have kinda put it on my billboard. Time to clean up :)

Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 16:49

Yay Vini! I’m glad you recognized it. Now you can go back to feeling relaxed and happy. :)

Happy shiny puppy hugs!

Melody

Dan Teck May 7, 2013 at 03:42

Thank you for this list/post, Melody! I also cringe when I see/hear people “joke” about these things–especially marriage/relationships. In my experience, marriage has been the greatest blessing of my life, and I fall more in love every day with my wonderful wife (after over 11 years together). I don’t understand why people would give energy to a belief system like the “jokes” in your examples. Why would you want to manifest that reality? And if that is the reality you’re manifesting, maybe it’s because these beliefs are revealing themselves to be what ALL beliefs are: self-fulfilling prophecies.

Anyway, I’ll get off my high horse now, have a laugh at how ridiculous these things can be, and get back to focusing on the beliefs I do want to reinforce. They may not make for great humor, but they sure make for a more enjoyable life.

Thanks again for this fun, light-hearted, but also important post. I’ll remember it if I ever find myself veering into this territory, and let it remind me to smile & then take a quick U-turn! :)

Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 16:52

LOL Dan,

Well, most people don’t know that they get more of what they focus on. So, they don’t realize that they are actually perpetuating the idea of what they don’t want by spreading these kinds of pics. And even those of us who do know need a reminder now and then.

But you know, I think it’s totally possible to be positively focused AND funny. Humor doesn’t have to come from pain and anger. I’m actually quite sarcastic myself, but not in a dark way. Let’s hear it for the funny! :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

Gillian Read May 7, 2013 at 06:35

In Australia it is a common for jokes to be self deprecating (we admire it in a person)I can see now that this is not serving me at all! I’m going to keep this in check now!
thanks Melody

Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 16:55

Culture has a lot to do with it, Gillian, that’s for sure. But we each get to make that choice, once we become aware of it. And when we transition to a more positive focus, it can take a little while for us to become comfy enough with it to joke about it (it’s like a reset on the sense of humour), but it can definitely happen. :)

Huge hugs,
Melody

rios May 7, 2013 at 10:20

hi sweety
your right about what you wrote, but its not that would not except anything in return, i just dont see to many offer and im starting to feel a little empty that why lately i have incorporated frequency 528 to try aid my meditations.
if you have any suggestions i would be gratefull and if you need payment…………….what the heck i’ll give you the moon, the stars, and if i’m feeling generous the universe
lol …. thank you and this might sound strange to you but i can feel your inner beauty
have a great day sending you lots of hugs and kisses

Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 16:57

Thanks Rios.

Keep focusing on the best feeling thought you can find. Immerse yourself in empowering materials (like this blog) and let the better feeling be your motivation for a little while. Don’t look for any other kind of payoff. It will come, but not if you’re constantly aware that it’s not here yet. Let the feeling be enough and the rest will take care of itself.

And thanks so much for your kind words.

Hugs,

Melody

Gillian May 7, 2013 at 11:29

Thank you for posting this topic. Now I understand why jokes are sometimes “to real to be funny.” I did not realize the connection. Thank you again! Love the pictures!

Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 18:56

Thanks so much Gillian! And you’re welcome.

Huge hugs,

Melody

Hannah May 7, 2013 at 16:55

Oh, I adoooore this post – so often I have seen these images and rolled my eyes, thinking how sad it would be to actually think that way about marriage/Mondays/ageing/whatever. And it is always the same people who post this kind of image – and yes, it is their reality, for the exact reasons that you day – they are attracting it!
While I don’t appreciate or indulge this sort of attitude anyway it will make me more attentive to what I post myself… after all, I’m sure the Universe is on Facebook too :)

Melody Fletcher May 8, 2013 at 19:00

Hey Hannah,

I love that! The Universe is on FB, too. Exactly!

Huge hugs!

Melody

Bec May 8, 2013 at 22:48

I find these jokes so funny but, you are SO right (as always). I’m going to delete any pages that I get them from going forward, and just read the positive quotes only that I also receive. I love your blogs. They reach to me and the subjects come at the right times in my life. Thank you Melody, have a great day :)

Nay May 9, 2013 at 06:27

Hey Melody,

This post is just too true. And as you said, before learning about LOA I never would have made the connection or even wondered about it. I still get many of these types of posts on FB, and I always find myself analyzing how they tie into LOA for me! Yes I really do! :lol:

Thanks as always!
Nay

Alexis Marlons May 10, 2013 at 16:28

I really don’t like the idea of how people try to make jokes about how marriage can be an awful thing, yet a lot of people are still getting into it, not just once for some but many times instead.

H. May 12, 2013 at 20:06

Hey Melody!

Your post mirrowed my feelings about two joke sites I like to scheme through: 9gag and a group on Facebook called “Intelligent, smart, well educated women who say fuck a lot. Mirrowed perfectly. However, there are still some good jokes that I still like to watch and some people who just post stuff about movies or awkward funny things that uplifts you. And the “intelligent women” Facebook group falls mostly on the category on the (i)nability of setting boundaries and being in a bad mood, but still has some good jokes – I love exploring the idea of a classy lady or a british gentlemen saying dirty things and never losing their verve :P

Hugs

Tina May 27, 2013 at 18:09

I find humor in just about anything. My son was trying be serious by telling me one of my neighbors was so mad at another neighbor that her eye started twitching. I laugh at things that apply and do not apply to me. I laughed at every picture above. Laughing is just fun and feels good inside. Thanks for all the great articles Melody :)

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