Coaching Call #047 came out yesterday. The topic of this week’s call is: She Loves to Give to Others, But Has A Lot of Trouble Receiving.
Like most light workers, this caller had no problem giving until it hurt and beyond. But she couldn’t get comfortable with the idea of receiving, i.e. being paid or even having people to favors for her, unless she’d given them AT LEAST equal value or preferably, much, much more in return. This set of limiting beliefs stunted her earning potential and created a lot of resistance in her vibration.
It’s no coincidence that my business is called Deliberate Receiving. I don’t think I’ve ever explained the concept of giving and receiving, as they should be, more clearly. If tend to feel guilty when others give you to, if you have trouble asking for help, and/or if you don’t know how to ask for the prices or pay you think you deserve, this call is for you.
Ok, so I spend a lot of time on Facebook and oter sites, looking at funny images. You know I love me some funny crap. LOL cats? Hell yes. Sarcasm? Bring it on. Puppies doing adorable things with speech bubbles that make them seem just a little bit dirty? Jackpot. And, while I really don’t want to rain on anybody’s parade, and fully acknowledge that “funny” is totally subjective, I’ve noticed a trend in the kinds of pics that people choose to post, and how they may not be serving them at all.
I’m the first to find humor in just about anything. Even if a joke is kind of mean, I’d rather laugh at it than condemn it. This is because I realized quite some time ago that whatever we push against, we get more of. So, when a joke focuses on something I don’t want, I might chuckle, but then I move on. I don’t share it, post it, like it or draw attention to it in any way. And I certainly don’t go looking for more of the same. I don’t want to perpetuate the energy of a subject that isn’t in line with what I want.
There are a lot of funny images and quotes out there. And laughter is generally good for the soul. But, are all jokes good for us? Is joyous laughter the same as bitter laughter? I’d like to make the case that no, it’s not. And each one has its place.
Respect the evolution
When we’re in pain and feeling powerless, angry or bitter jokes will help us feel better. But when we’re no longer feeling powerless, then more positively focused jokes will bring more relief. At this point, we may still find those negative jokes funny to an extent, but they will not represent a step UP from where we are. They can, in fact, keep us stuck in the old vibrations we’re trying to move out of.
Today, I’d like to focus on 7 different categories of jokes that may (if you are not in powerlessness) no longer be serving you. Keep in mind that laughing at a joke like this doesn’t necessarily keep you stuck (I chose the pictures I’ve posted here predominantly because I find them funny). But if your Facebook wall is littered with these kinds of images, if you are bombarding yourself with this kind of perspective, then you may want to shift your focus to what you actually want, and not what you’re now moving away from.
Disclaimer: This post isn’t aimed at the general population. For many of them, these jokes represent a step up, vibrationally. But for the audience of this blog, it’s quite probable that different parameters are starting to apply. If you want to keep evolving, you’ll have to keep watching your focus.
Category 1: Relationships suck!
There are a lot of messages out there celebrating how horrible marriage is. It seems to be a kind of accepted norm that life gets worse and worse after we get married. But does it?? I mean, if that’s actually true, then why the hell does anyone still do it? And if it’s not true, then why are we perpetuating this old view?
Marriage used to be much more about obligation and security than love. Women (and men!) were pressured into getting married, and once you were locked in, it was nearly impossible to get out. Even now, a lot of people stay together only because divorce feels “wrong”. Happiness wasn’t really much of a consideration. So, there were a lot of unhappy, horrible marriages. But that’s just no longer the case. Sure, there are still some miserable couples out there, but why focus on that paradigm?
Today, relationships are much more about love and happiness than they’ve ever been before. The divorce rate might bother some, but I see it as a good thing. It’s ok to get out if you’re not happy, and that means that people are placing happiness much higher up on their list of priorities. Couples are also much more likely to see therapy or counseling than ever before. They’re not willing to just put up with a lack of communication. They want to feel good about each other. They want to have great sex. They want to grow and evolve, both individually and as a couple. In short, people and therefore couples, are becoming more and more self-aware. And with that comes more authentic relationships, more joy, more happiness, more bliss.
If you’re constantly bitching about how horrible relationships are, you’re perpetuating the energy of what you don’t want.
Category 2: Men are children/Women are nags
I’ll let the Bullshit fairy do the talking for me on this one (Men, just substitute “Women” for “Men” and “Bitches” for “Douchebags”.
I think I’ve made my point.
Category 3: I’m so freaking poor!
Making jokes about being broke may make you temporarily feel a bit better, but keep in mind that when you talk about being broke, even if it’s funny, you’re still talking about and therefore perpetuating the energy of having no money.
Often, we use humor to try and pretend that we don’t really care about something (“Ha, ha, I’m so broke, but see? I’m joking about it, so obviously it doesn’t really bother me”). No one’s buying it. Of course you care! And by not being honest about that, you’re practicing a kind of denial. The only reason this kind of pretending feels better is if you think you have to give up on your dream. You don’t. You get to have all the money you want. But you can’t attract it while constantly harping on about how little money you have.
Category 4: I’m perpetually in a bad mood!
Ok, so a lot of these kinds of quotes are meant to convey that we are not afraid to set boundaries. “I won’t put up with your shit”, is really just another way of saying “I’m not a doormat.” And again, if you’re currently in a powerless place, if you tend to allow people to walk all over you, then these kinds of angry, defiant messages may well serve you.
If, however, you’re not currently being walked on, or at least not on a regular basis, then reacting as though you are, actually represents a step backwards.
To me, there’s not much joy in declaring I’m a bitch. I’m actually a really nice person. And I want to spend time with other really nice people. If you’re not nice, if you’re currently stuck in a dark place and need to lash out others, then I most likely won’t be spending any time with you. But, think about it; if someone is in such a dark place, and is already feeling awful about themselves, then how is being a bitch to them going to help??
Category 5: Other people are so stupid!
It’s easy to blame our bad mood and frustrations on other people. But once you know about the Law of Attraction, and the fact that everything in your reality is attracted to you by you, then you really can’t get away with that crap anymore. If your reality is full of stupid people, guess what? You’ve attracted stupid people for some reason. The most likely cause is that you keep focusing on how other people are total morons, and how you’re powerless against them.
Clean up your vibration and you’ll find that not only are other people not stupid, but that there’s a lot of brilliance out there. We came to this world with its billions of people for a reason. We’re not meant to live in isolation. Other people are there for us to play with, to help mirror back our vibrations to us, but also to help us co-create bigger experiences than we could on our own. Think about it: there are some experiences that you can’t have by yourself, or which are greatly enhanced by others. Watching a game alone, at home, vs. watching it in the stadium. Having a conversation alone, v.s. a lively debate between friends. Having solo sex, vs. having sex with your soul mate. You get the idea…
Category 6: My life is so stressful/difficult/awful!
This one’s insidious. If your life is hectic, it can be easy to consider this just a fact. Until very recently, I declared on a daily basis that “I’m so busy” (even here on this blog!), until it finally dawned on me that I wasn’t doing myself any favors with that one. Complaining about how busy I was perpetuated the busyness. So, I stopped and began to focus on ease. Within a very short amount of time, I found myself handling the same workload with much more grace. I had more time off. Things just seemed to flow more. And I felt a whole lot less busy.
Remember: WHATEVER you focus on is what you’ll get more of.
Category 7: The horrors of getting old
Yes, we all have to get older. It’s all part of this “time” thingy we’ve all agreed to abide by in this reality. But, we don’t have to get old. We don’t have to get sick. We don’t have to fall apart.
We don’t have to accept feeling bad as a natural part of the life cycle. If something doesn’t feel good, if there’s pain, then something is wrong. Unfortunately, even the medical establishment buys into this paradigm and will tell patients that many ailments are simply “normal” at a certain age. Well, I’d like to call bullshit. Feeling like crap is not normal at any age.
But if we want to thrive instead of just survive, we have to live deliberately, focus positively, expect to get better instead of worse, love ourselves, play more and be happy. Then, age is really just a number.
Did you enjoy this picture post? Were you inadvertently falling into any of the categories? Share in the comments!