Coaching Call #039 is out! The topic of today’s call is: Parenting An Angry Teenager.
This mom has been dealing with a severely angry teenager, whose moods have been affecting the entire family. We look at why her teenager is so angry (and at teenagers in general), how this mom is manifesting her own experience of that anger, and how she can help not only herself, but her daughter, as well.
Our own Awesome Nay has another wonderful guest post for us today. Enjoy!
I have heard it many times, and definitely thought it many times in the past and since I have learned LOA, and probably will again until I become so aligned I can’t think it: Why can’t everything we want just be right here? It would be so much easier if everything we wanted was just there and available. Why do we have to focus on what we want, and force ourselves to be happy in the absence of what we want? But LOA tells us this is what is needed, and yes, I do agree it gets much easier once we start aligning with Who We Really Are. But the why of this becomes much clearer if you really analyze this idea of having what we want immediately and always available – you realize it doesn’t logically work. Looking back, there have been many things that I have wanted in my life. But the fact is that most if not all of those things came to my attention because of something that I didn’t like, something that didn’t sit well with me, something I felt I lacked, or because I had an experience that opened my eyes to something completely new. Without these things that I didn’t like, lacked, and/or experienced, there is no way that I could have come up with so many new desires. Which means, to me, that there is no logical way the universe can just provide me with what I want and be done with it, because what I want is never done and is always changing! And I can’t know what I want until I realize I am missing something or even know that it is out there.
Wanting more is not limited to seeing something we want and going for it. Usually, we see something that we like, but also want something a little bit different, because we are all SO UNIQUE. We almost always end up adapting what we want to our own little quirks and internal visions of what would REALLY be cool! But the key is, what we see starts the ball rolling towards what we begin to imagine would be our ideal. And this is how growth, change and expansion happen. Everybody has different ideas in their heads. Everybody sees things just a little bit differently from everyone else. And those differences are what created this world, made it what it is. But of course, we can’t talk about wanting new things without going into the part of LOA that has pissed me off the most, and yes logically, tying it directly into why wanting something and not getting it happens.
Being happy about what you don’t have
It has to be said: what is all this crap about having a desire, and then having to be happy and expectant and allowing before we can get it? And what is this little gem of a law that kicks my ass so often, about not focusing on the fact that we don’t have it yet? How can you stay focused on what you want but don’t have, and not be upset that you don’t have it? Well, the fact is you can, but too often we don’t due to our habits of thinking. And, as has been the focus of so many of Melody’s posts and all things LOA, you can’t look at what’s missing and find anything else BUT what’s missing. When you see that it’s missing, and feel that it’s missing, and keep thinking about how it’s missing, that is your focus and in most cases, guarantees that you will be unhappy. And when you understand this, it’s easy to see why you can’t be happy when you are looking at what you don’t have. But in Melody’s post “Why Do Our Brains Accept False Beliefs As Truth?“, as well as many others, she provides ways to change those old habits of thinking. Which is where logic starts coming into play, because you can be happy about what you don’t have, and stay focused on what is wanted, by using your mind logically. And once you can change your habit of thought and see lack as an opportunity to figure out something good, you definitely CAN be happy when you look for/at what you do want. And because I often like logical ideas over what some consider intangible things like vibrations and such, I have tried to come up with something in the ‘real’ world that supports this logically (to me anyway ). So, here you go.
The mind is a logical tool
As many who regularly read this blog will know, LOA pretty much states that like vibrations attract like and that all things are vibration, including thoughts. Amazingly enough, logic can tie how the mind works directly to this vibration thing. We know that the mind can experience endless amounts of things through our senses, which is awesome. With that fact comes the realization that if you don’t give it any guidance, it jumps from one thing to the next without any real direction. But if you give it a purpose, and allow it to flow with that purpose, it will look for a way to accomplish it. Put in simpler terms, the mind will find what you tell it to look for. IF there is nothing contradicting the order you give it, it’s going to zero in on what you desire to find, see or experience. And even more importantly, it will just keep looking for and providing what you have asked of it, including new thoughts and ideas that match that focus. But if you don’t tell the mind what to look for, it won’t look for it. That is the simple logic of the brain. So let me give you an example that is pure logic and has nothing to do with vibrations.
I believe it was Anthony Robbins that I was listening to or reading years ago, who did an experiment that easily demonstrated just how true this concept can be. Basically, he told his audience to look around the room and try to remember anything and everything that was a specific color, such as blue. Then he told them to close their eyes and keep them closed. He waited a few seconds, then asked everyone to name things in the room that were red. Of course the audience went into immediate uproar because he had told them to look for blue, so how could they recall things that were red?! And what I find just as interesting, is that even given time to try to remember anything red, most couldn’t.
Of course there were red items in the room, but because nobody was looking for them in that moment, it was almost impossible for them to recall anything red. They hadn’t told their minds to look for and remember red items, so they didn’t. The mind can be so annoyingly obedient in that way! Which was the point of the whole experiment. You can only see and recall what you tell your mind to look for. (And let me caveat this with what you ‘consciously see,’ and that photographic memories are not included in this example. ) If you DON’T focus your mind on what you want, there is no way you can see it or find it. Whatever you focus your mind on, that is what you will find, what you will see, what will keep coming into your awareness. And yes, that desired focus can negate your ability to see other things, as evidenced by how hard it was for the audience to recall things that were red.
If this is true for something that simple, how much more applicable is it in our everyday lives, where we have formed some serious habits of thought? If we are habitually focusing on what we don’t want and what we don’t have, how can we NOT notice the lack of it? And I will say it again, we, by our focus, are telling our minds to look for that lack. So by using logic to continue this, if we are not looking for the best, if we are not looking at and focusing on what we DO want, then how can we see it? How can we even be aware of it? How can we have more thoughts and ideas that match it and help guide us to it? If we don’t tell our minds what to focus on until it becomes habit, then it will look for whatever else it has been programmed or habitually trained to look for.
Because I can see the logic of this, because I understand that the brain is a tool that will do what we tell it, this makes perfect sense! Your focus must be more towards what you want in order for your mind to see more of it. Logically, it tries to find what you want, if you aren’t overriding what you want with all the thoughts of what you don’t want or don’t yet have. And as we have been told through LOA, the more emotion you feel, the more vibrant something is to your mind, the more it sticks, and the more it stands out when you ask the mind to recall it. How the brain works, as we understand it, is in complete and absolute harmony with LOA as far as I can see. Which is just too cool! And what’s even cooler, is that there are ‘logical’ people in our world whom we can use as perfect examples of how the brain functions in conjunction with LOA.
Inventors are LOA in action
An inventor is the epitome of LOA in action. They think or imagine something that they want, and they passionately and consistently look for ways to see its fruition. They envision how it can be, totally ignoring reality more often than not! They practice new things, experiment in new ways and continue to envision and stay focused and EXCITED about what they want to happen. They see a lack, a desire for what is not available, something they would like to see happen, and they figure out how to get there. They are almost always focused on finding a solution. And I would bet that 90% of the time they are NEVER focused on the fact that what they want isn’t there yet, except in the beginning, where they start the whole process by noticing something that is lacking. They use that lack as a launching pad for what could work, and unlike many of us, they don’t stay focused there. They start letting their imaginations flow, always with the desire for improvement or something new. And they usually love the idea of finding a solution and they encourage their imaginations to run wild with new and exciting ideas in order to find that solution!
The fact is, if they DON’T think beyond what already is, then they really can’t do their jobs. They can’t look at what is, or imagine only what is, and invent something new. Logically, it just cannot happen! They must see what isn’t in their current reality. They must imagine something else, and then they must stay focused on that imagined thing in order to come up with ways to create it. And, as noted above, their mind logically will keep providing them with ideas and new insights because that is what they have asked of it and what they are staying focused on. The proof that inventors create what was not in reality and what they expect to see because that is what they have trained their minds to do, is in the pudding.
The continual and constant changes in the world are all the proof we should need. We often decide that things are just the way they are and there’s nothing we can do about it, but there is nothing further from the truth! Just because something is a certain way does not mean it has to stay that way in any facet of life. Let’s just look at one item from the field of Information Technology as a simple yet extraordinary example. 10 years ago, the idea of having a small removable device that could store a gigabyte of information was almost unimaginable. Now we have a device the size of your thumb that can store 1 terabyte of information (Really!!!). And I know less than 20 years ago, having anything feasibly usable for storing a terabyte of information seemed completely out of reach for the near future. And imagine that just 100 years ago, most of what we know and do every day was not considered possible! Think 1000 years ago, or 10,000. As many times as this has been said, when I start looking at how much we have in our world now compared to 1000 years ago, I am continually awed and yes, very thankful!
So why not think of yourself as an inventor?
If trying to use the sometimes intangible vibrational process of LOA is difficult for you, then try using this logic: You are the inventor of your life. You get to create something new every day (every instant if you really want to get cray cray ). What you decide to focus on and get excited about is what your mind will try to find. What you keep thinking about, your mind will keep providing more of. It will do what it does best, and try to come up with thoughts that match what you think about the most, and then try to focus your senses on the outside world in the direction of those thoughts. And anything that you feel strongly about is exaggerated in the mind, so it will look for those things even more diligently. This is LOGIC. If you want better and better ideas, then you have to be focused on that. If all you see is how dismal things are, then your mind will provide more thoughts that support how dismal everything is and look out into the world for proof to support how dismal things are. But, if you want to see something different in anything, you can only accomplish this by looking for something different. Imagining what you want and keeping your focus there is the only way to find something new, to make changes. It’s that simple. That LOGICAL!!! History proves it over and over again. If we only looked at current reality, nothing could ever change. It’s how our brains work and how inventors create new things, and how we can create our own reality. This LOA makes perfect logical sense if you look at it long enough!
The bottom line
Your mind is a logical tool that you can use to get where you want to be. But first, you have to tell it what you want. And if you tell it with great emotion, the impact is ten fold. But if you let it run on old paths of what you don’t want, what’s missing, what sucks about anything, then that is what it will find for you. And it will continue to look for the same old same old because you haven’t changed your habitual thinking by retraining it to focus on something new that you do want. And if you doubt the logic of this, you have examples in everyday life that support this premise completely. Because obviously many individuals in the past and present have sat down and imagined beyond what was current reality, and stayed focused on that until something new and unheard of became the new reality. And if they hadn’t thought of it, and stayed excited about it while ignoring what is, nothing new could’ve come into manifestation. This is just plain fact, or logic if you will. This is the only way change can happen. Focusing on what is wanted, whether it matches reality or not, and staying focused there is what brought us out of the jungle.
And it’s amazing how the tools you have been provided help to accomplish this. Your feelings will guide you towards what you want, your mind is the perfect vehicle for shuffling through new ideas and thoughts to change how you feel and imagine what you want, and your focus provides leverage to enhance the whole process once you decide what you want. So rev up your internal inventor and start inventing ideas that are positive, exciting and new, and have nothing to do with reality or the unwanted. Staying focused there will provide more and more ideas and cause positive thoughts to flow into your head, and bring more positive experiences into your reality. Think about it: If others hadn’t imagined and focused on things they wanted despite the lack of those things in their reality, I can almost guarantee we would still be living in the wild throwing poop at each other. Just sayin’.