Does Abe Teach Us To Rejoice In The Suffering Of Others?

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by Melody Fletcher on February 19, 2013

Awesome Dude asks: “I appreciate your comments on arrogance. I have noticed the people I know around here fit your definition of arrogance, but only those who follow Abraham. All of them I know get off on other people’s misery and suffering. They say “they brought it on themselves” and I know that is true, at least some of the time. But I still don’t rejoice in their unpleasant situation. I have Friends in CA and they report the same there. Is this how Esther Hicks teaches it? I’m guessing by intuition and this article (the one on arrogance) that you do not, as such.”

Dear Awesome Dude,

First, let’s clear one thing up: There are many, many people who follow the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, and you can’t put them all in the same boat. That would be like saying “all Catholics”, or “all women”, or “all people who like chocolate”. There are those who listen to Abraham who struggle to implement what they are hearing, those who really get it and those who totally don’t. So, when you say that someone is following Abraham, that’s all you can say about them – they are studying Abraham. It doesn’t tell you how well they understand the material, what resistance they are personally dealing with or where they are in their journey.

I can assure you that Esther Hicks does not teach people to get off on the suffering of others. What she teaches and what I also teach, is that suffering WITH others doesn’t help them or you. It serves no one. Not suffering with someone, however, is NOT the same as rejoicing in their pain.

Why would anyone feel good about someone else’s pain?

That having been said, there are instances when someone else’s pain can lead someone feeling better, but it requires that the person who is doing the observing is in a very, very low and painful vibration. It is possible to feel so powerless, so utterly helpless, that gaining power over another actually feels better. Controlling someone else is better than having no control at all. This is what’s happening when you see a dictator slaughter his own people, or when you hear about a sadistic murderer torturing his victims. While it’s not impossible, it’s highly doubtful that someone in that emotional state would resonate with the teachings of Abraham or this blog (happy shiny place that it is, and all…).

Do victims really manifest their pain?

Everyone manifests 100% of what’s in their personal reality. No exceptions. But, there’s a huge difference between taking responsibility and taking blame. The problem is that many people, even those who study Abe and/or come here don’t yet fully understand this difference.

While we manifest everything in our reality, a lot of those manifestations were attracted unknowingly. No one would create pain on purpose! The fact that the pain is there is an indicator that something is wrong. If the engine light on the dashboard of your car comes on, you don’t scream “Why?! Why?! How could this have happened to me?!” You realize that something in the engine needs attention. The warning light is a good thing – it lets you know that something is wrong so you can take care of it before it gets worse. That little indicator light lets you know that if you want to keep driving down the road and get to where you want to go, you’ll need to take care of a problem first. If you don’t pay attention, a larger manifestation, like an overheated engine, will slow you down even more. You can deal with it now, when it’s a minor issue, or you can deal with it later when smoke is billowing from the front of your car. Either way, it’s not the light’s fault that there’s an issue and it’s not yours, either. Unless you noticed some prior indication (there could’ve been an indication that you weren’t aware of, like a rattling sound you didn’t hear), there’s no way YOU (not a mechanic with special training. YOU) could’ve known that some imbalance was occurring in the engine. That’s what the light is for. It lets you know.

When we manifest something “negative”, it’s a sign that something is off. The manifestation is our indicator light, it’s what lets us know that something is wrong. The manifestation isn’t there to punish us; we had no way of knowing that there was a limiting belief in there until it manifested! Now, we have a choice. We can do something about it or we can wait until it gets worse. We’ll have to deal with it eventually, though.

Responsibility vs. Blame

I’m going to play a little game with semantics:

“I create my own reality.” This sentence is often totally misunderstood. There should be a disclaimer after that sentence: “I create my own reality, whether I know it or not”, with heavy emphasis being placed on the second part of the statement. People often think that if we create our own reality, that must mean that we deserve everything we get and that anything bad that happens to us was brought on by ourselves. There’s an assumption that we knew exactly what we were doing and that when things go awry, it must be because we screwed up. Nothing could be further from the truth!

“I receive my own reality.” When you consider that you don’t so much create your reality as receive it, that everything is out there for you to match up with, and that what you match up with is your indicator of where your vibration is at, it takes the blame out of it. We are not designed to know where our vibration is at until we get some kind of manifestation. When we get really, really good at this, we can often head off negative manifestations at the emotional stage (emotions are the earliest stage of manifestations), but even the best among us often need the physical feedback. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s the way the system was designed.

You don’t know what the input is until you get some kind of output. When you see the output, you can change the input and then see what you get. Adjust, wait for results. Adjust again, wait for results. Rinse and repeat.

When you see others suffer

So, what should you do when you see others suffer? Well, telling them they brought it on themselves generally doesn’t help at all. Helping them (if you are intuitively called to do so) figure out what vibration they’ve got going on that attracted this to them, so they can change the input (the vibration) and get a different output (the manifestation) will go a lot further towards them fully understanding just how much control they have over their reality.

Moving out of self-blame takes a bit of work. Many people, when they figure out that they do, in fact, control their realities, look around at what they’ve attracted and begin to feel horrible. They wonder how they could’ve been so stupid. They’re applying their new found clarity to their entire lives, forgetting that even just moments before, they had no idea what they were doing and how they were doing it. They suddenly think they should’ve known better, when there was no way that they could’ve. And then, they begin to apply that same twisted and painful perspective to others.

It is possible that an individual in that state could rejoice a little at seeing someone else struggling. When you’re in pain, it can be gratifying (to a degree) to see that you’re not the only one in the muck. But in every case, someone who views others as having brought on their own misfortune, also sees themselves that way.

Negative manifestations can be exciting

I know, I know, this is going to sound very hippy dippy happy shiny puppy, but it’s entirely possible to see negative manifestations and get excited about them. When you understand that anything that goes “wrong” is simply an indicator light on your dashboard, and that when you figure out what caused that light and fix it, your car will not just run again, but better than it ever has (your car doesn’t just get fixed, it gets upgraded), you can see the value in putting up with a teensy bit of hassle. Think about it: If each time you had to get an oil change or fix a spark plug, that dude Q from the bond movies came along and added a few gadgets (like the ability to turn the car into a boat, some helicopter blades to make your commute easier, or a massage table complete with Sven, your very own six foot five, muscle-y, straight, Swedish masseur with the baby soft hands… not that I’ve given this a lot of thought or anything. *sigh*), you’d spend every day staring at the dashboard lights being all like “come on, come on, come on, blink already!!” Yeah, you would.

Well, our “negative” manifestations are just like that – when you clear the resistance that this experience caused you to become aware of, you won’t return to your reality the same as you were before. You’ll be a new and improved version of yourself. Your vibration will have been upgraded, and since it’s just a mirror of said vibration, so will your reality. Let that sink in for a moment. Suddenly not so hippy dippy, are we?

Bottom line

No, Abe does not teach people to rejoice in the suffering of others. Neither does Esther. Neither do I. What we teach is that suffering, while ultimately unnecessary, does serve a purpose and when we fully understand that, we can use that knowledge to diminish and eventually eliminate that suffering from our lives. While we don’t want to blame ourselves for anything that has gone wrong, we can take advantage of the massive opportunity that manifestations of resistance provide us. And then get massages from Sven. Giggidy.

 

{ 44 comments }

Asma February 19, 2013 at 20:38

Hi
This makes sense but I need some clarity. I was reading the news and some 80 innocent people were killed because they belonged to a different sect. What happens then? How does one reconcile with such a loss? The person who got killed, the family who left behind all suffer. What happens in such a case?

Chris February 20, 2013 at 17:15

This is exactly what I fear when I try to explain the law of attraction to newbies. I can hear them saying, “So did everyone who died on 9/11 manifest that?” I would love to find a way to reply to that without getting punched in the face.

Dusty February 21, 2013 at 00:47

I’ll probably get punched in the face for this reply buttttt… Did the 9/11 victims attract what happened? Yes and no. The point of everyone’s life it to shift energy which includes dying. You change from one form to another. Whatever you believe that change will be.

We are not so caught up in the “what” being death as in the “how” being the event which caused the death. It is our reaction to the how, as living beings, that is important. What does it mean to us and what have gained from it? It may take a while but there is always something to be gained from each event in our lives.

Did they manifest the event itself? (This is where I get punched) They manifested a change in their life, good, bad or indifferent. The “how” their change came about is relatively unimportant.

Lou February 23, 2013 at 07:04

I’ve always thought that this was as a result of the hysteria about terrorism that was flying around at the time: the whole of the US and the UK constantly being on “Amber Alert” just reinforced this fear of big, scary bogeymen coming to shoot us or bomb us. I worked for a government agency at the time, and they had a light system just as you stepped in the door of the building, and it constantly showed amber, with a little poster at the side which explained that this meant there was a real threat of terrorism, and everyone should be “vigilant”.

So with people concentrating on this, and having it shoved in their faces all the time, all this energy was focused on terrorism, terrorist plots, possible future bombing events, and that’s what people were sending out there in their energy. So when I started learning about LOA, it made sense to me that with all this being sent out in energy, the universe responded by going “Terrorism? Ok.” And it answered, basically.

It’s horrible and so sad that it happened, but it seems to me to also be an example of LOA at work – what you concentrate on, whether it’s fear or joy based, is what the universe answers with.

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:35

Hey Asma and all,

I’m working on a blog post that will address this to be published shortly. I have way too much to say on the subject to pack it into a comment. Stay tuned! :)

Huge hugs,
Melody
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John February 19, 2013 at 20:55

Great explanation, Melody, as usual! I really love the clarity you bring to these issues!

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:35

Thanks so much John!

Huge hugs,

Melody
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Carole Remy February 19, 2013 at 21:11

What a wonderful post, Melody!

I’ve been experiencing exactly what you talk about, rejoicing in negative manifestations. I love the engine light metaphor! Somebody pushed a rather big button for me, and after a short pout, I thought, Wow! I guess I still need to work some more on this. Thank you Universe!

My activity of the moment, promoting my novels, is like a big spiritual lesson. Every discord is in front of my face every day. It’s the new equivalent of volunteering with dog rescue. You can’t will dogs into fantastic new homes, and you can’t will book sales! You just have to do your best and trust the process. As you say, Melody, rinse and repeat, and repeat, and repeat!

Huge hugs,

Carole
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Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:37

Hey Carole,

Thanks so much!

You’re so right. You can’t force things to go the way you want them to. But you can allow them to, in perfect timing. :)

And, I’ll bet that the process you’re figuring out now will make one hell of a blog post, lol.

Smooshy hugs!

Melody
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Sylvie February 19, 2013 at 21:32

OMG Melody!

This article made me LOL! I used this exact metaphor (about the car) just this weekend with my son. Friday night I went to a movie with my daughter and on the way home I noticed the battery light on in the dash. I thought it was odd but I was tired and didn’t think any more about it. Saturday morning, my son called and asked me to pick him up at his girlfriends house then drive him to work. I made the mistake of ignoring the light thinking it would be ok but the more I drove, the more I realized there was a big problem. I was hoping to make it home before the car died. No such luck…smoke billowing and everything, just like you said. We were only a few blocks from home, so we started to walk but my son was upset and having a tantrum (he’s almost 19 ;) because he was worried he’d be late for work. I told him I was sorry, that I should have “listened” to the car’s warnings and we started talking about exactly what you said here: “When we manifest something “negative”, it’s a sign that something is off. The manifestation is our indicator light, it’s what lets us know that something is wrong. The manifestation isn’t there to punish us; we had no way of knowing that there was a limiting belief in there until it manifested! Now, we have a choice. We can do something about it or we can wait until it gets worse. We’ll have to deal with it eventually, though.”

I have been studying LOA and other similar types of things for many years and feel that I have grown by leaps and bounds just in the last few years. I recently began following your blog and have learned so much. You have such a wonderful way of putting things, I “get it” so much better from you than any other place I’ve looked.

Thank you.
Sylvie

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:39

Hey Sylvie,

Thanks so much for sharing your perfect story!! How serendipidous is that?? LOL.

And I’m so glad this blog and community have helped you. That’s exactly what it’s here for. :)

Huge hugs,

Melody
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Patricia February 19, 2013 at 23:45

The energy work person who has been assisting me in letting go of my weight issues, was in a massive car accident and very close to death. Just when I was ready for some big workouts, she was nearly dead – actually a miracle she was still alive. All her ribs broken, no brain damage- amazing, broken hips, and tons of bruises and scrapes. I just kept celebrating with her as she recovered and on President’s Day she started back to work and called me right way. She was busy celebrating the accident and all the powerful things she learned – she didn’t call it a blessing but was just so amazed by the joy and gratitude she felt for this life lesson – 2 months later! All that energy truly changed my vibrations and produced a huge release for me also…Although I do not wish to celebrate her experience – I do understand that she truly benefited from the lessons and we moved so much anger from my body I was exhausted…
I wish that no one is run over by a drunk driver at 60 mph…and experiences so much pain and suffering, but if one is injured I think and hope that they can discover the gifts and the outcomes… that will enhance their energies…
She is even more beautiful than before…she lifted me up – now the work is mine

W February 20, 2013 at 05:59

Patricia, I witness you and honor the experience of your friend and I celebrate the love and support you gave her in that time.

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:41

YAAAAAY Patricia!!! This is wonderful news and it sounds like you’ve found a powerful teacher!!

I’m so happy for you and your progress and for the gift this wonderful woman is sharing with you (her own discoveries!).

Huge happy shiny puppy hugs!!!

Melody
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Just call me A. February 19, 2013 at 23:57

The pic tops all pics!

In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity- the theme. Gotta squeeze those lemons, after all. :-)

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:41

He, he, he, A. Thanks so much. I thought it was funny…

Huge hugs,

Melody
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Bernie February 20, 2013 at 01:06

Hi melody
I love this universe!! Yet again something i had been mulling over appears in my inbox! Thank you for a great article love and light to you . Bernie x

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:42

You’re welcome Bernie! Glad to be the conduit for your manifestation. :)

Huge hugs,

Melody
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claire February 20, 2013 at 01:09

Hi Melody

I understand negative manifestations are caused by resistance and the underlying cause is limiting beliefs. Are these beliefs the same as those causing your negative emotions after manifestations? I think they are probably not.

I find it a lot easier to figure out the beliefs causing the negative emotions. Often beliefs created the negative manifestations are not obvious to me.

Your current post seems to suggest that figuring out beliefs created the negative manifestations is important. So what should I do when they are not obvious to me? I normally wait until I get more clarity. What do you think?

Regards

Claire

Regards

Claire

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:43

Hey Claire,

they’re one and the same. Negative emotions are manifestations. They’re just the smaller manifestations. If you don’t pay attention to them, a bigger, more physical manifestation will appear, which will highlight the emotion.

I hope that makes sense. :)

Huge hugs,

Melody
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John Hare February 20, 2013 at 03:02

Melody:

A wonderful article with great clarity! Thanks!

Huge Hugs,

John

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:44

Thanks so much John!

Huge smooshy hugs,

Melody
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tony February 20, 2013 at 04:03

Hi awesome people!

This topic is huge! Ok, we have to admit something. Since we are human beings here reading this post, (most of us, I assume) we are creations of light. So I suppose that what would make a creation of light rejoice at the pain of someone else is a pure sense of revenge as a misconception of justice. Something which has a clear goal of an emotional catharsis. Another reason is a benefit-driven intention to take advantage of a situation which is more likely for us to win, but the joy we might get would be more of the kind of the easy success we tasted. The other stuff are perhaps for other beings in disguise,who are not made of “very bright light”, if someone believes they exist at all.

But let’s make things clear. In order to witness such an event (when we are aware that someone is in pain), our reticular activating system has been ordered to spot it. Either consciously or unconsciously. We get in the trance that this event takes place, otherwise it could happen in front of us while our attention stays focused on something else (e.g there is a shop who sells donuts in our neighbourhood, it opened recently but my sister’s subconscious totally refuses to spot it even though she walks in front of it every day and she always tells she is going to check it out). And the other person is also unable to hide his situation (either consciously or unconsciously) so we can engage.
That, on planet earth, we call it drama.

So, the real question is not if those people are in pain, it’s not if they did that to themselves, it’s not why they did that to themselves, it’s not if it’s ethical to ruin them now that they are vulnerable, but Why on earth did we fell into this kind of trance! In order to manifest something like that, we have to be curious about it. It has to mean something to us. It affects us in some way.
This situation somehow seems like a potential threat to us. Don’t we have something more useful to do than witnessing the pain of others?

We are all going to die one day. In the meantime, we can eat, sleep, exercise,read, work and have some fun with our relationships. Or we can argue, witness fights, talk about how bad some things are and explain ourselves..

What trances do you expect to have tomorrow? Will you be able to do what you desire in your trances, or the mere thought of acting on your desires makes you feel anxious so you end up talking about people in pain?

W February 20, 2013 at 05:54

Tony asks, “Don’t we have something more useful to do than witnessing the pain of others? ” Witnessing the pain of others and offering compassion and support and light can be very uplifting. What does Kwan Yin offers to those suffering? Or Mary? Or as so many people point out here, Melody? Witnessing someone’s pain can be a great offering. Witnessing is not the same as rejoicing in it or focusing to perpetuate it.

tony February 20, 2013 at 21:19

Hi W!
You are right. It is uplifting in many cases. I highly doubt though that this tactic fixes the underlying problem in such occasions.

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:48

Hey Tony,

You’re right. Witnessing is the not the same as fixing the underlying issue. When we experience pain at someone’s suffering, that’s a manifestation of ours (our resistance) and should be addressed by us. But many of us witness suffering because we have a desire to help. It’s not a bad thing. We match up with those whom we can assist.

And yes, we have to address why that suffering occurred in the first place, but that’s for other blog posts. I can only do so much with my 2500 words, he, he, he.

I always enjoy your point of view. :)

Huge hugs,

Melody

Ann February 20, 2013 at 04:29

Melody, this topic means so much to me. It came at just the right time. One thing I do not understand and you use it often is “shiny puppy” :-) What does it mean?

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:49

Hey Ann,

A happy shiny puppy is the metaphor I use to describe the playful, happy, innocent, non-judgmental, joyful, giggly state that we are at our core.

I made a video to illustrate: http://www.deliberateblog.com/2012/05/06/happy-shiny-puppy-hugs-enough-said/

Huge happy shiny smooshy puppy hugs,

Melody

Kay February 20, 2013 at 22:24

Love this post (I’m typing this from my phone btw and one of the autocorrect choices for the word ‘post’ was ‘pussy’ lol)! I agree that negative manifestations can be good indicators–if you figure em out!

Neway, I’m wondering, what happens when you can’t figure out what your indicator light means? What happens when so-called ”negative” manifestations (like speeding ticket, flat tire, being late on paying credit card, minor car accident—all things that happened to me this month) seem more like minor inconveniences thanks to my practicing LOA and reading your blog? Can we actually miss ”the message” because negative experiences affect us less now due to the positive thinking that comes from LOA teachings?

The recent incidents in my life are clearly snowballing, but I’m not sure if I’m in danger of missing the point, or if I’ve manifested this stuff as an opportunity to apply perspective shifts and gratitude since nothing was a big deal. I know you teach us that the message is in how we feel, but if we initially feel annoyed/bad but then we feel good after everything works out, why is my light still blinking?

Kay February 21, 2013 at 00:08

In other words, what’s more important: the feeling you INITIALLY get when negative manifestations happen, or the RESULTING FEELING once all is taken care of/after you adjust your judgment and perspective of the situation (which makes the warning light merely a blessing in disguise)? Which is the ‘real’ message?

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:53

Hey Kay,

First off, respect for typing all that on an iPhone. ;)
Second, you made laugh out loud with the pussy comment. Thanks for that. ;)

And third, negative manifestations are both there to get your attention AND opportunities to help you shift your vibration. If something seems to be snowballing, that means that your initial reaction to each incident was the same, which means that you didn’t actually shift it when it worked out. In that case, you may have felt relief, but you didn’t really shift the underlying issue. So pay attention to that first reaction. What else is going on in your life that feels like that? What memories come up as you sit with that feeling? Explore it a bit and see what happens.

I hope that answers your question.

Huge hugs,

Melody
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Dusty February 21, 2013 at 00:53

Wow! Great post!

What is the dividing line between taking responsibility and taking blame?

Nay February 21, 2013 at 04:41

Dusty,

How could you be so stupid?! Why did you do that?! You know better!!! You should be better than that! Why can’t I stop doing this? Why is that person such an idiot?!

Well that didn’t work, so what can I do instead? How can I look at this better? What’s the next step since this didn’t work out so well? Wow, I learned a lot from that! I really want to bash that person’s head in, but maybe I can focus in a way that doesn’t make me so mad instead.

That’s how I see the difference. ;)

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:55

Hey Dusty,

Nay illustrated it perfectly.

For me, taking responsibility feels empowering. You get a sense of control. I can see how I attracted this and I can attract something else.

Blame is all about “It’s my own fault. I did this to myself”. It feels powerless, like you’re a dumbass you messed up her life and can’t do anything about it. Which, of course, you’re totally not. :)

Huge hugs,

Melody

B February 21, 2013 at 02:33

I, for one, would love a massage from Sven lol Especially since I’ve had this pain in my back for a while, time to get to work being grateful for my health again, as well as being happy being single and attracting a Sven of my own. Giggidy Giggidy Goo~ ;P

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:56

Glad someone got the reference! He, he, he.

Huge hugs,

Melody

Nay February 21, 2013 at 04:31

Awesomely Appropriate Pic! Hahahaha ;)

Such an interesting subject. And I totally understand how any comment that points a finger back at the person having issues can be just rude and obnoxious! But as you said, the message intended is not one of blame, but of understanding. And that HAS to be the focus. The understanding that our focus is the catalyst for our reality, and once you know it, you can see how everyone has created what and where they are in life. But more important, once you know it, you know you can change it by changing your focus.

I also think that if you look for arrogance, you will always find it. It is very easy to feel slighted by someone else, even when they don’t intend it. Some people see any form of confidence as arrogance. Some people see any comment that doesn’t sound airy-fairy as being rude. Some people consider anyone who doesn’t mince words or is just blunt as being rude. It’s all about perspective.

Now don’t get me wrong. People’s comments have pissed me off many times, because I had no doubt they were just being mean or rude. I’ve even listened to Abraham and considered them rude, especially when I first started listening. And especially when they really push home that we have created everything in our lives. Sometimes hearing that just sucks! But now I can see a different way of focusing when this happens.

People can say anything they want, and my frame of mind or mood will be what deciphers it as appropriate or not. Not fair to me or them, but I now see it as the truth. I often make a judgement on what is said based on how I may feel about them, or just how I’m feeling. So right then, I’m not being fair either. So I’m working very hard on not just reacting to comments and people, even if I think they are rude or arrogant. I am making my reality, and if someone around me is rude, then I’ve attracted that, or my focus has allowed me to see it. So, yes I’ll say it; when I’m judging them, I’m really judging me. OH MY GOD, I used to hate that saying!!!! But now I just get it!!! Hahaha. :)

And when I see others suffering after learning LOA, it has made a huge impact on how I react. At first I would often blame myself, because I shouldn’t be able to see it if I were focused appropriately. Then I would say, well it’s their reality and I can’t do anything about it because they are the ones making it. And sometimes, I can move on to, wow what have I been thinking about that has allowed me to see this and how can I change my focus so I feel better about it? And the realization that my mood so often decides which one of these I fall into has been great and crappy in equal parts, because sometimes I love that I can change my focus and feel better, and other times I know I should be able to, but I just can’t seem to get out of the pouty, wallowing, blaming mood. ;)

So yes I blame Abe, Melody and all others, who have arrogantly pointed out that I create my own reality, for those crappy days when I can’t get out of my bad mood, and can only blame myself. It’s all your fault that I am aware of this new reality!

AND I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART TOO!!!!

Just call me A. February 21, 2013 at 15:10

Oh, wow, Nay. I got the gist of what you are saying, but I’d need to re-read. Yes, it is a matter if perspective. I’m going through this now with family members, whom I decided to just hug instead of defend myself to when they are criticizing or attacking me. But, that is my perspective. I think from their point if view, they are trying to help me and are doing so the way they know how, which is a rather brusque way for my taste, but they are really doing it for my own good. I get hurt, but if I just hug them, maybe that would take care of my negative reaction to them and my supposed wrong way of living, according to them. So, to all those who disapprove, a hug is the remedy.

I just thought of this and can maybe spread good vibes rather than tears and frustration. So, it is up to me. Thanks!

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 19:59

Well said Nay!

But it’s all your own fault, you know… ;)

Huge smooshy hugs!!!

Melody

Just call me A. February 21, 2013 at 20:26

Nay,

What you mentioned really got me thinking. It does all depend on someone’s mood. I’ve visited one of my beloved teachers on many occasions and on the last one he had other stuff on his mind not having to do with me, yet our exchange did not go well. My point is that you brought up something really important.

In order for our life to go smoothly, we need to catch people on their good days. We need to use our intuition to do this, thereby making our life much easier. This is just one third of what I’d like to add here, but yes, love your points! Oh my, just going with that flow would be really great. Can’t really express anymore with words. Thanks again!

Susanne February 22, 2013 at 02:22

I . . . geez . . . umm . . . wow. Forgot what I wanted to say because I started laughing at the picture (best ever!) and then got all distracted thinking about having my very own 6’5″ muscle-y, straight Swedish masseur with baby soft hands named Sven . . . hell, I don’t care WHAT his name is, just send me one! I, umm . . . if I ever remember what I was going to say, I’ll be back. But . . . thanks, Melody!

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 20:00

Glad to be of service Susanne. Sometimes the brain just needs a little vacay… ;)

Huge hugs,

Melody

Melody Fletcher March 3, 2013 at 20:00

You’re so very welcome Jessica.

Huge hugs,

Melody

Eve June 25, 2013 at 18:50

I read this post a while back and just came back to re-read it again. I get something more out of each post every time I read them. And I read them over and over. They are just brilliant.

I realised, while reading this, that my perspective has changed a lot, and that is why I am finding new interpretations and understanding when I read. How brilliant is that! Wow. (I’m a pretty cheap date, you could serve up the same blog post over and over and I will still be happy :) )

I struggled with this issue for a huge amount of time. Something terrible happened when I was little and around my 20s I was doing a lot work on myself and came across the ‘you create your own reality’ thing. I took it on board, but it was never explained like this. So, I ended up not being able to forgive the person that harmed me, because there is nothing to forgive. I created the situation. It was me, not them. And I ended up not being able to forgive my 7-year-old self because she was the one who did this. I have spent many, many years in a horrible place because of this skewed interpretation. I am now very, very careful when talking to people who are not familiar with these concepts. I would rather send them to this blog than just say that they create their own reality.

There is also a lot of irritating judgement that I have noticed going on in some ‘new age’ circles, where people comment in a not very nice way when someone is ill or having a bad time or whatever because you should be able to heal yourself and you should be able to shift your feelings. Very recently I have heard people like Joan Borysenko call BS on this kind of thinking and that helps too. Sometimes we can shift some stuff and clear up a lifetime’s worth of issues, and sometimes there is more to it than that and it is not for anyone else to judge what is going on. Or in fact call down judgement on ourselves!

Thank you Melody. Not only will I re-read this again, but I will now go and daydream for a while about Sven…

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