Awesome Seka asks, “Lately I’ve been mindful of letting go and allowing, that part seems to be what’s held me up in the past. I get so hung up on a particular outcome and then so hugely disappointed if it doesn’t work out the way I thought it would. Can you explain the importance of letting go? Rationally, it seems like attachment to an outcome isn’t a bad thing… it’s how you get focused on what you want. So why is it that letting go is the most important, and most challenging, step? I’ve yet to hear a satisfying answer to this one.”
I receive similar questions to this one almost every day. People are confused as to what exactly to let go of, why it’s even important, and most of all, how the hell they’re supposed to let go of something they really, really want.
Today, I’m going to clear up the subject of letting go or surrendering, once and for all.
Big Old False Belief: You have to let go of your desire
Excuse me just for a moment. “Oh hell no!” I just had to get that out of my system. When we Law of Attraction teachers talk about letting go, we don’t mean that you should let go of what you want. That, my dearies, is impossible. When something is really important to you, you can’t just stop thinking about it, which is what a lot of people mistakenly try to do. And then, they get all frustrated and, depending on where their self esteem is at, either declare that LOA doesn’t work, or that they’re too stupid to make it work. Neither one is true. So, let me state this once and for all: Letting go does NOT mean that you have to stop thinking about the thing you want.
So, ok, what DOES it mean, then? Let me answer that by giving you an example.
Bob just got laid off and wants to manifest a new job. He’s been studying the Law of Attraction for a while now and has decided that he doesn’t want this next job to be just like the miserable one he just left. He wants to attract a better job. He wants to be happier. And, he wants to earn more money. On the one hand, he has his strong desire to feel good in his job, on the other, he has his doubts and fears that he may not find a job and end up not being able to take care of his family. But, Bob has decided to try and put his fears aside and do this the deliberate LOA way, if at all possible.
So, Bob makes a list of what he wants in a job. He looks at what he hated about his last place of work, like his micromanaging boss, the winey, needy co-workers, the insultingly low salary, the expectations of unpaid overtime, the atmosphere of constant complaining, the lack of any kind of challenge, etc. He then uses this list to determine what he DOES want in his new job – an intelligent, competent, appreciative boss who’s not only cool but knows how to delegate properly and communicate what he actually wants; co-workers who love their jobs, are creative, switched on, and cooperative instead of insecure and competitive; a salary that represents what Bob is actually capable of bringing to the table; an environment that continuously challenges him and allows him to flex his problem solving skills and use his considerable talents; a fair and balanced work schedule, allowing him to actually spend time with his family; and so on.
Bob now sits with his list and allows it to inform his visualization. He can actually “see” himself in that kind of environment, can imagine what it would feel like to go to work in a place like that. Where his old office was dark, with no natural lighting, this new office looks light to him. He can see windows and plants, and even an outside area where coworkers congregate to have coffee and talk over projects or problems. He feels how relaxed everyone is, not tense and stressed, but inspired and passionate. They’re doing good work and they know it. Bob sees himself proudly presenting a solution he’s devised to a group of people, who then all congratulate him and pat him on the back. He sees his boss shaking his hand, and offering him a promotion. He sees himself driving home at the end of the day, early enough to have dinner with his family, help his kids with their homework and tuck them into bed. He even has energy left over to make love to his wife. He feels confident and alive for the first time in a long time. And the better Bob feels about this vision of his, the more aligned he is, energetically, with what he wants.
The mind: One Arrogant Bastard
Notice that Bob hasn’t addressed how he will find this wonderful job, what exactly he’ll be doing there, how much he’ll get paid, where the office is, or any other details. He’s focusing on the core of what he wants, on all the parameters he wants to create and how they’ll feel. That is the WHAT of his manifestation, which is Bob’s job.
The HOW of his manifestation is not Bob’s job. Bob is not qualified to go out into the Universe and scour it to find all the cooperative pieces that match up with his creation and bring them back to him. The Law of Attraction’s got Bob beat in that department, hands down. So, if Bob decides that he has to get involved with the HOW and starts to meddle in that, he’s actually interfering with his own manifestation.
For example, let’s say that one of Bob’s desires is to find a job that has an easy commute. He’s tired of driving 2 hours each way and wants something close to home. Fair enough. But now, his mind starts to get involved and points out that Bob doesn’t know of any companies in his field that are even remotely near his home. And this is where the problems start.
You see, our minds kind of assume that they know everything there is to know about everything. So, conversely, if our minds don’t know about something, then it must not exist. If our minds don’t know how something can happen, then it must not be possible. Our minds are arrogant little bastards, really, and if you let them, they will screw with you. Yes, I’m going to just come out and say it: the untrained mind can be a right asshole. And by trained, I don’t mean educated. I mean, trained to focus in the way you want it to. A trained mind can be your very best friend.
So, Bob’s mind begins to convince him, by going on and on and on about it, that the kind of job he wants just doesn’t exist, because it has no direct knowledge of such a job. And, if Bob isn’t deliberate about his thoughts, or lets his guard down for a bit, he may well start to believe the arrogant, lying bastard. That’s when Bob begins to focus on how it’s NOT possible for him to get what he wants, promptly and effectively messing up his vibration. Now, he’s attracting more and more doubt instead of what he wants. People who will support that doubt will come into his experience. He’ll meet other unemployed folks who will tell him that there are no jobs. He’ll read reports in the paper about the horrible economy. His wife will begin to nag him about his unemployment. Down and down and down Bob goes, into the spiral of misery.
The mind is not your boss. It’s your servant
However, Bob doesn’t have to believe the mind. He can recognize that his own perspective is severely limited and that he has at his disposal, a powerful mechanism called the Law of Attraction, which has a MUCH larger perspective than he ever could (in short, it knows a HELL of a lot more than his mind does). Bob can realize that finding that job isn’t his work at all. His work is to place the order. LOA will then fill that order by going and finding all the parts, assembling them perfectly and delivering them right to Bob’s doorstep.
So, what Bob must let go of is:
- The need to figure out HOW his manifestation will come about
- Listening to his arrogant mind when it tries to tell him what he wants isn’t possible because it has no direct knowledge of how it can be done
- His doubts
- His fears
- Any thoughts that contradict what he wants
- Listening to anyone that mirrors those doubts and fears by telling him he can’t have what he wants
It’s on its way
Another way to describe the process of letting go or surrendering is to simply get into the mindset that “It’s on its way”. If you can adopt the idea that you will get what you want, that the Universe will deliver your manifestation even if you don’t know how it will happen, you are aligning with what you want.
“Letting go” is simply the process of getting out of the way of your manifestation. When you stop the process of contradicting the thoughts that will get you what you want, the thoughts that feel good, you are letting go.
Anytime you ask “Where is it?” or “Why isn’t it here yet?” or “How can it possibly happen?”, you are messing up the energy of your manifestation. Every time you get frustrated or sad or doubtful or impatient, you’re messing it up. Whenever you think about what you want in a way that causes you to feel any kind of negative emotion, you’re messing it up.
When you know that it’s on its way, you’re aligning with it.
When you believe that it will come, you’re aligning with it.
When you trust that the Universe has the power to bring it to you, and knows a hell of a lot more of what’s available to you than your (comparatively) little puny mind does, you’re aligning with what you want.
When you feel good, you’re aligning with it.
When you’re happy, you’re aligning with it.
When you let go of fear, of doubt, of the need to make it happen, of the need to know how it will happen, then, my happy shiny puppies, you and your manifestation are about to meet.
Don’t try to let go of your desire. Let go of anything that contradicts it. Your power is not in your ability to make things happen by forcing them to comply with your will. Your power, all of it, all of the incredible, vast, ginormous amount of it, is in your ability to focus in such a way that you align with what you want, causing the forces of the Universe to shift and morph and bend to your desire, even if what you want has to be newly created just for you. And if you suddenly had the urge to be all like “Mwahahahahaha”, well, then I’d say that you’ve got it.