How To Find Enlightenment Even When You Want to Slap People

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by Melody Fletcher on October 4, 2012

 

Lately, I’m finding myself dispelling a lot of myths about enlightenment and being a spiritual person on my coaching calls. I know I’ve talked a lot about finding the better feeling thought. But many of you seem to think that means, “find the thought that Jesus/Buddha/Gandhi/my saintly grandmother would think about this and try to think it, no matter how frustrating that is. Because enlightenment is all about thinking like a saint.” And then, you wonder why you don’t feel better and proceed to beat the snot out of yourself for not being more enlightened.

But there’s a huge, HUGE misunderstanding in all of this – one which I hope to set straight today.

Ok, first of all, when I talk about finding the better feeling thought, you have to take that literally: find the thought that actually feels better to you. I don’t mean, find the thought that you think should feel better to you, or the one that some enlightened being would feel good about. When you do that, you are, in fact, judging one option or thought to be more enlightened than another, which has nothing to do with how you, personally, feel.

Let me give you an example:

Your son’s school is having a bake sale and you’ve agreed to make a cake, even though you’re really busy and you’d rather not participate. But you don’t want to seem like a bad supermom, and so, you stay up late making a chocolate cake with a frosting. The next day, you deliver the cake to the school and meet up with one of the other supermoms, who just happens to be a royal bitch. You brace yourself for the inevitable backhanded compliment, and sure enough, she makes some crack about how she’s sure that everyone will just love your store bought cake, before pointing out her County Bakeoff or some other meaningless Award winning pastries, the recipe of which was handed down to her from her French great-great-great-grandmother who served them to Napoleon himself.

You do your best to keep smiling, knowing (because you’re a good little LOA student) that there’s a thought in there somewhere that’ll feel better. Perhaps she’s just having a bad day. Or she had a rough childhood. You try to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe her husband is secretly gay, or maybe she wasn’t loved enough. In any case, you try to see her with compassion and even send her love. The problem is, you’re not actually feeling any relief. In fact, the more she chatters on about how she ran a marathon last year while being eight months pregnant and fireman-carrying an injured runner the last mile, only to cook an eight course meal for her entire family later that night, the more you just want to punch her in the face. But you don’t want to admit that. It’s not enlightened.

Be honest about how you feel

The point of finding the better feeling thought and even reaching enlightenment is not to think thoughts that seem like they should feel better to you. The point is to find a thought or option that actually does feel better. And in order to do that, you first have to admit how you feel.

Stop judging your emotions as inappropriate. Here’s a newsflash: Your beliefs and the feelings they cause will NEVER make sense. They will not be logical. And they are all, every single one of them, valid. Whatever you are feeling, it’s ok, and it’s absolutely right on. If you want to punch the bitch’s face in, then that’s how you feel. There’s no point denying it.

There’s no such thing as an enlightened thought

Here’s the thing: One thought is not more enlightened than another. In fact, the thought or option itself really has no vibration until you run it through your perception. That’s what gives it a certain frequency.

So, you can’t really judge a thought or option as being “better” than another, until you check on how that thought or option feels to you, personally. Think “Which thought actually feels better?”, instead of “Which thought should feel better?”, or “Which thought would feel better to others?”, or even “Which thought would you choose if all your thoughts were broadcast on a big screen for all to see?”. Make the judgment of the thought and what others would think about it irrelevant and just feel for which option feels better to YOU.

In the example from above, you feel like punching the bitch in the face. That thought doesn’t feel good, but that’s where you are. When you try to get all enlightened and shit, and you reach for thoughts of compassion and love, you feel no relief. In fact, now you feel like punching her AND you’re mad at yourself. Well halleluiah.

But, what if you just walked away? What if you just left her there standing there next to her award winning whatever, wordlessly turned around and went and talked to someone you actually liked? What if you decided that instead of trying to feel better about this woman you really want to punch in the face, you just found a way to feel better, period? What if you let go of trying to be a supermom, or of the obligation to do it all and just admitted that you didn’t want to bake the freaking cake in the first place? What if you decide that next time, you won’t be guilted into it? What if you actually told Ms. Perfect what you thought of her?  What if you actually called her on her behavior, the way no one ever does but everyone wished they could do?

Do you see how all of these thoughts actually feel better? When you’re angry and frustrated and feel like you want to slap a bitch, thoughts like this feel like relief. You can reach for love and compassion later. Right now, these thoughts are what truly feel better.

The true meaning of enlightenment

Enlightenment isn’t measured by what kinds of thoughts you’re thinking. It’s not measured by your lack of negative emotion. Enlightenment is the ability to recognize how you’re really feeling, admit it and then move into a better feeling place. All the other stuff, the recognition that all manifestations have value, even those that seem painful, that this value may not be immediately apparent, and the ability to shift into better and better feeling perspectives, come as a result of enlightenment. They don’t cause it.

How the Masters do it

There’s this misconception that when someone is an enlightened master, that they never have any negative emotion. However, since negative emotion is simply a feedback mechanism that lets you know when you’re focused on something that isn’t serving you, and the very act of living and growing will always expose you to a variety of manifestations, some of which you’ll like and some of which you won’t, and finding out which ones you prefer and want more of necessitates looking at options which you don’t prefer, it stands to reason that anyone who is alive in this physical reality will, at times, experience negative emotion. Now, those who have trained their general vibration into a really high, stable place may experience more subtle emotions than the rest of us and may catch those negatives well before they get all big and painful, but they will still feel the discord.

Someone who is enlightened doesn’t squash their negative reactions. They rejoice in the feedback they get, allow the emotion for as long as it’s useful and informative and then shift toward truly better feeling thoughts as soon as they can. They work WITH the feedback, not against it. They understand that anger and frustration are just as valuable as joy and love. They don’t judge where they are.

So, how would an enlightened master have handled the supermom bitch? When asked to bake the cake for the bake sale, she would take a moment to check how she feels about it, realize she doesn’t want to do it, and would just say no. Then, she would take a guilt free bubble bath. Before the bake sale, she would take a moment to line up with pleasant experiences. From that point of attraction, she might be inspired to genuinely compliment the supermom’s pastries, completely disarming her, or the supermom would be in the bathroom while the master walked by the baked goods table. In any case, she wouldn’t have meet up with the bitch in a way that triggered her in a big way. She would note that there were plenty of delicious baked goods that others had provided, and would happily made her own contribution by buying herself a cupcake.

Her good experience would have come about due to preparation – she noticed the discomfort she felt when being asked to bake the cake, and decided not to go down that road right then and there. The resistance she felt was the same as if it had all played out in the original scenario, she just caught it in the more subtle stages. In that case, just saying no was the better feeling choice. Later down the manifestational road, the better feeling thought might be to tell the bitch where to go, or walk away from her, or put her in her place. One example is not “better” than the other. It’s just a different stage of the same manifestation. And no matter at what stage you catch it, the key is what you do from the moment you realize that you don’t like what you’re feeling. How far you need to go down that road has much more to do with how stubborn you are, how deeply ingrained that particular belief is (old beliefs feel very familiar and are much harder to detect), and how much suffering you’re willing to put up with, than your mastery of LOA. Trust me on this. I consider myself pretty good at this stuff, and yet my own teeth nearly had to kill me to get my attention.

Bottom line

You’re not going to reach enlightenment by judging your emotions to be wrong and pretending that you’re feeling something you’re not. That’s not enlightenment, it’s denial. If you want to keep reaching higher and higher levels, and have more and more enlightened moments, if you want to be happier, you’ll have to be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling and proceed from wherever you are. You’ll have to let go of judging how you should be feeling, or what others might think of what you’re feeling and just allow yourself to have your emotions, no matter what they are.

Want more?

The following posts also deal with enlightenment in various ways:

Finding Enlightenment…Again

Quick LOA Questions Volume 5 – Enlightenment, Healing, Fasting and Color Therapy

How do the Masters do it?

3 Spiritual Rules You Can Ignore

{ 66 comments }

Kat October 4, 2012 at 13:53

Melody,

Great post with great examples! Good to know that a lot of us already practice much of what you stated and we need to constantly tweak it. Even though it is sometimes considered rude not to self-sacrifice and put up with what we don’t like for the sake of family or whatnot according to the rest of the bitches, we need to stick to our guns and thanks for confirming this.

Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:23

Hey Kat,

If you sacrifice yourself for others, soon there will be nothing left of you. And they’ll just move on, having grown dependent on others. But, if you take care of yourself, and help when you are inspired to, without depleting yourself, it’ll not only feel better, but you also show others that it’s ok to take care of themselves, too. Which is a much greater gift, really. Harder to wrap at Christmas, I’ll give you that, but much more valuable. ;)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Marjorie October 4, 2012 at 13:58

I just had an experience yesterday and all I can say is that this can be hard work! Just about everyone I know is so stuck on their old beliefs that they are not allowing themselves to grow and move forward…but it sure feels good to recognize that I’m getting better at it! Gracias, Melody!

Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:25

Hey Marjorie,

Well, you can’t make it a requirement that they get it, too. That’s not within your control. Just focus on your own reactions and deliberately choose the best feeling option whenever possible. And yeah… it is kind of hard work in the beginning. You’re forming a new habit. Annoying, I admit, but totally worth it. :)

De nada!

Melody
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zequeatta jaques October 4, 2012 at 14:42

I loved this post! And the picture made me laugh out loud (or rather the cat’s thoughts!). Yes, enlightenment is not repressing your feelings it is understanding them, knowing where they are coming from and then as you said moving on. Enlightenment is growing emotionally, striving for balance and changing as a person for the better, and it is hard work, but so worth it.

Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:27

Hey Zequeatta,

Well stated. For me, the word “balance” really says it all. Balance in thought, balance in feeling. Finding that middle road between the extremes. Not pushing, not pulling, just allowing. Oooh, the layers! Sorry, sometimes I get caught up in this stuff, lol.

Huge smoochy hugs!
Melody
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Marisa October 4, 2012 at 17:14

Thank you so much for this post Melody. Honestly I was looking for this clarification, hahahaha. I love how this work, thank you so much. Now, I finally understand that is ok to feel anger. In a way I was in denial. Hugs and kisses

Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:28

Hey Marisa,

It’s totally ok to feel anger. See here: http://www.deliberateblog.com/2012/03/06/negative-emotions-anger/

You’re welcome. :lol:

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Fran Sorin October 4, 2012 at 18:30

Melody-
Am I ever glad I decided to get on Facebook before closing my computer for the night. It looks like LOA as at work. I went through precisely what you were talking about with a situation a few hours ago. I was really angry. Felt and acknowledged. Only took a few minutes to figure out what were it was coming from and how with different behaviour on my part the result would have been different. But that’s OK….I’m already emotionally removed from it. Quick work~ but what a treat to get online and read your super post. And you are right on about real enlightenment. xxoo-Fran
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Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:30

Hey Fran,

Thanks so much for sharing your experience here. And LOA is always at work, he, he. That’s the beauty of it. And you’re so right. You don’t have to wait for the next bake sale of whatever to make a shift. You can do it by realizing that you could’ve chosen differently in the past. The mere act of seeing the other choice as a valid one does the trick. You could’ve said no. That’s a powerful realization.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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David Cady October 4, 2012 at 18:33

This is just so spot on Melody. Our emotions give us so much good feedback, but too often society trains us to use them to beat ourselves up, or to ignore them when they stray outside of generally accepted margins.

Imagine how much the world would change if everyone put more value in rediscovering and being who they are instead of trying to be who they think they’re supposed to be, or who other people think they should be.
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Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:33

Hey David,

Thanks so much. Oooh, that would be an awesome world. Actually, it IS an awesome world. I already live there part time. I call it my happy place. :) You have to be a happy shiny puppy to get in, though. And be housebroken. It’s kind of a rule… ;)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Vidya Sury October 4, 2012 at 18:38

Yep! Giving in to all the “negative” reactions running through our heads helps chuck it out of the system! Trying to be holier than thou when we really are not, does not. :-) I think too many people are shackled by “should not” and let it wait upon “i would” or rather “I will”. We often think we must show good behavior when all we hypocritically want to do is, as you said, punch the bitch in the face. At the very least, venting it all out with a friend who’ll help out with a few choice expletives certainly makes everything look rosier.

That cake example reminded me of a scene in the movie “I don’t know how she does it” (based on a book by Allison Pearson). Great movie. :D

Thank you Melody – happy shiny puppy hugs for always telling it like it is!
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Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:36

Hey Vidya,

Yeah, we all kind of do this. That’s why I wrote the post. Lately, I found myself making this point over and over again – you can’t pretend to feel something you don’t. Be honest about how you’re feeling. And also, acknowledging your feelings is not the same as acting on them. You don’t actually have to punch the bitch. But that kind of anger and resentment can’t just be brushed aside. That’s how people get stuck in negative emotions. Acknowledge and release. And then go play. Kids do this all the time. They throw a tantrum (release) and then they forget all about it and go play. :)

Huge happy shiny puppy hugs for you, too, Vidya!

Melody
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Elle October 4, 2012 at 20:41

Love your story telling ability Melody. We sometimes forget that we’re meant to feel our feelings, every single one of them, lousy as some might be. They’re our feedback system to show us what we’re going to be harvesting some time down the road. There are times too that we forget that after feeling them and the trick is just to let them go…and strange as it sounds that applies to the good feelings too.

Hanging on to even our good feelings tells us we have a scarcity belief, as though there’ll never be another feeling as great. Yet, feeling what we feel and letting them pass right through us leaves us huge space for even bigger better greater feelings. In my experience.

Love you Melody you are the star of the LOA world.

Elle
xoxo
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Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:39

Hey Elle,

Thanks so much sweetie! That’s such a great point, and bit of a higher level than this post. The idea is really to just allow all feelings and stay in the now. When we’re in the present moment, we can’t hold on to anything (that means we are focused on the future, or the fear of not having this feeling in the future). We also can’t hold on to the past. It’s all about the now. And then it just flows. Focus and flow. Focus and flow.

I’m not sure if you’ve read this post. It’s from a while back, but I think you’ll really enjoy it. It’s about finding that moment of NOW: http://www.deliberateblog.com/2011/12/20/the-secret-behind-the-secret-how-we-manifest-reality/

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Mary Carol October 4, 2012 at 22:20

Hi Melody and Everybody!

Whew! It feels great to be back. I was traveling, and then moving, and am just now back online. Yeah! Hugs to all my online friends on your beautiful site! I’ve missed you.

Last night I had a funny LOA experience a bit like what you write about, Melody. Every house here in Mexico has a cistern on the roof, and late last night, mine started to leak, with the water running onto a porch outside. I didn’t know how to stop it, and it was too late to call anyone. I turned on an extra fan in the bedroom to drown it out, and tried to sleep. Somewhere around 3 am, I was having a near panic attack, thinking of everything else that could possibly go wrong in the whole universe, and suddenly it dawned on me.

I’d been wishing pretty genuinely for a fountain, so I could listen to the sounds of water. I found one at Home Depot that I want to buy, but can’t afford it yet. Last night, the Universe gave me a fountain! Or as close as it could manage for free. Ha! As soon as the thought occurred, I laughed my head off and fell easily asleep. This morning the carpenter fixed the stuck valve, and all’s well.

The whole incident showed me two things: one, that the Universe gives you literally what your emotions are asking for. I wanted cascading water, I got cascading water. Second, that the only real problem all night was my being bothered. I put way too much emotion into figuring out “what I did wrong” to manifest a leaky cistern! Hee hee.

Thanks for the reminder to let the emotions flow, Melody. Giant super-hugs for all!!

Mary Carol
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Laura October 4, 2012 at 23:40

Looks like I was posting the same time as MC and Elle.
I hope it’s OK to break in here. (Sorry if not):)
Welcome back MC. I was just thinking of you yesterday. :)
And I have to say, your comment made me laugh. Then I thought, “There’s Home Depots in Mexico??”

PS. You’re conjuring it seems, not manifesting. LOL;-)

Congrats on your new home.
Hugs.
L

Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:45

Of course you can break in, Laura! I greatly encourage conversation here. You can play with anyone you want. That’s what this place is for! :)

Also, less work for me. LOL. ;)

Huge hugs,
Melody

Mary Carol October 5, 2012 at 21:32

Hi Laura,

Thanks! Much as I loved the holiday, it feels great to be home. Yeah, we have Home Depot, Sears, Dairy Queen, Starbucks, Office Depot, Super WalMart, AutoZone,
Burger King, McDonalds, you name it. The difference is that there’s only one of each, not a Starbucks on every corner. If you really want something, it’s here, but it’s not in your face all the time. It still feels like small city Mexico (pop 250,000). Colima is awesome. Check it out on YouTube.

Hugs,

MC
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Nay October 5, 2012 at 04:41

Welcome back MC!!!!
Hilarious! Me and the hubby would have been up all night trying to fix it, because we ‘think’ we can fix anything! :lol: But you are so awesome in the way you dealt with it.

Mary Carol October 5, 2012 at 21:35

Hi Nay,

Thanks for welcoming me back! One of the totally cool things about being a ‘senior’ is that it’s a great excuse to get help. Woohoo! Gray hair RULES! Time to relax and let life enjoy me!

Hugs,

MC
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Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:44

Lady Awesomesauce! Great to have you back! :D

And thanks so much for sharing the fountain story. We cause ourselves so much stress by forgetting that everything in our reality is there FOR us, on our behalf. It’s all a gift of some kind. So, instead of asking “What did I do wrong to deserve this crap?”, we should train ourselves to ask “What did I ask for that this is bringing me?”

For example, when my water heater broke down last year, it was actually to bring me a bigger, better water heater for free. The old one had to break down to make that happen. Gift.

Ah, I love it!

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Kat October 5, 2012 at 20:50

Hey MC. Good to see you back!

OMG, MC, I had the same thought about a leaky boiler here at the house we rent. It is right next to my study in the basement and it has been leaking for the past two months.

The boiler is half a century old and needs replacing and it has shifted lots of energy in this house for sure. Between my husband and me, the landlord and us and finally me, since at the end of last year, I requested cascading water to help with my anxiety. My husband bought a small portable fountain which I ran for a couple of months but it got moldy. Recently, the boiler started leaking. It is more annoying than relaxing, I admit, and caused a lot of commotion around here, but I do try to imagine I am near a sream of fresh running, crystal clear cool water. Hahaha! :-)
Hugs,

Mary Carol October 5, 2012 at 21:25

Hi Kat,

Here’s a trick for the fountain – put in distilled water. No mold, no yuckies. Works like a charm. Since it’s already moldy, you could clean it with diluted bleach first, then voila!

Yeech with the boiler. Is it a hot water heater boiler, or a heat the house boiler? Maybe you can find something to like about it, or talk to it nicely?? Sing it songs? Good luck! Hmm, metal and water – maybe you can put a chunk of wood nearby to balance the feng shui??

Hugs! Thanks for welcoming me back! Makes me all warm and fuzzy – yeah!

Mary Carol
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Kat October 5, 2012 at 21:43

Thanks so much for the tip, MC!

It is a heat the house type of boiler, gas to be exact. Yes, when it dies, we will have no heat, making the house inhospitable. Not only that, but the pipes can freeze if they are not heated in the winter.

Yes, it is water and metal dripping into a plastic-like slopsink. It is a few feet away from me and a door separates me from it. In my study I have so many books and am surrounded by wooden bookcases, so there is your wood! I hope this creates a good feng-shui of the basement.

Kat October 24, 2012 at 16:32

Hey MC,

I am hoping for your input on this one. I know I have to feel good about something in order to allow things to happen. Back to this case, the landlords hesitate to replace the boiler which has a gas leak. They do not want to do it, it seems, yet I cannot totally speak for them, even though we have provided professional evidence of the need for a new one. I am sure that even LOA would agree that this is a health hazard we cannot live with. We can’t leave the window open throughout the winter months, as that would make the place unbearably cold. Yet another plumber recently confirmed that the entire thing needs to be replaced and is waiting for the landlords’ okay to proceed. He can even do it next week.

I thought about what you said, to send it love, because that is the driving force of the universe. I am no longer pushing against it. So, I apologized to it for calling it a monstrocity. I am very sorry I called it that. Taking up half the room was the way to go back in the day. It showed strength, power, ability to do work. It was a way of displaying those wonderful characteristics. That was great back then and it has performed splendidly, doing its job so well. Hooray, it was a hero! I commended it for that. It provided this house with warm water for the enjoyment of showers, the preparation of delicious foods and, of course, warmth during the freezing winter months during which work could be done, parties could be held, meals could be enjoyed, and so much more! It has seen the coming and going of children, families, including the landlords, who lived here previously, so they even started their family here. It was great and served its purpose.

It is no longer able to provide all the hot water we need on time and it has a gas leak. As a matter of fact, it works overtime just to provide a shower’s worth of water. That is not efficient. We pay so much for that when we could be paying half that amount with a new, efficient boiler. But, I do not mean to offend the older one in any way. It is mature and wise to understand the energy efficiency part well enough, for it knows it is sick and needs to go to the scarpmetal place to be turned into something new and useful to bring more joy and comfort in this world that needs it so much.

And who better to see it off to this journey than my husband and me, since we have developled such a close relationship to it from the evalutions and diagnoses of the plumbers who have been here and have confirmed its slow demise, which we will be here for, so there is nothing to fret. It will not go alone, no way. We are its biggest fans! We will see it off to its transformation into something awesome and useful to society. It will be nice and it agrees to that as well, instead of wasting its energy here working overtime and double time and all the time just to provide a shower’s worth of water. I say this with tears in my eyes, so it is totally heartfelt. It will actually find relief and all will be well. And so it is.

what do you think, MC? Do I have the right idea?

Love you lots!

mary carol moran October 24, 2012 at 22:04

Wow, Kat! You brought tears to my eyes too! And over a boiler! What a fantastic way to look at the world!

My only added thought would be to keep your eyes and ears open to ALL the possibilities. What I sense is that better accommodation in many ways (not just the boiler) is rapidly coming your way. Stay on the alert, so you can step through the door when it opens!

Put a sign on the walls by the bed that’s general enough that you don’t limit the possibilities. Something like: I feel warm and safe and comfy in my home.

Do you write poems or short essays? Maybe you are meant to write about the boiler, as you have here, and this piece of writing will make you famous, or highly respected as a writer, or something?

Awesomeness is on its way!

Hugs and love to you,

MC
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Kat October 24, 2012 at 23:28

MC,

Thank you so much. I am very moved by your response and thank you very much for the reminder and the tip. I will do that. I promised the boiler, too. That is what we all want, comfort, joy and to feel safe in our home and enjoy the haven it provides for this is where we rejunevate, relax and work on ourselves to prepare and present oursleves to the world to ultimately raise its vibration so it can be the heaven on earth it is meant to be. I have tears in my eyes again!

Thank you for the compliment on my writing. I used to write in high school and college but later on took the science route instead. I had many options open to me so I just picked one. This blog has taught me, however, that there is just one road in life and no matter what we do, it is all part of the painting known as our life, so I can actually do more than one thing if it tickles my fancy, since the options are available to me, such as combining the two and doing science writing. I was actually thinking of that very thing right before I wrote to you this morning- how I wish to write for this professional science journal online, but I need to get my license first. The people seem cool there, take holidays off, and have my set of degrees. What do yout know? There are no coincidences!

So, with tears of alignment, as I call them, I thank you again for being a part of my life, MC. Cheers and love,
Kat

mary carol moran October 25, 2012 at 03:21

Science writing sounds perfect, Kat! I love reading Bill Bryson, and M. Mitchell Waldrop, and Edward O. Wilson, and…

Find a niche, study everything about it, and write it up for everybody who doesn´t have the time to research it from scratch for themselves. Woohoo! If I were thirty years younger, I’d be tempted to do it myself.

Keep me in the loop. BTW, good luck on the boiler too, though it feels like small beans compared to the big writing picture!

Mary Carol
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Kat October 25, 2012 at 03:50

MC,

You move me to tears. This is so great! I just had an insight. If we approach everything from this place of love, things will just naturally go our way, won’t they? This is the LOA. No kicking and screaming required, just love. I do not ook at a situation, including myself, from the lowly vibrations of regret, anger, bitterness, and all the other emotions we are so used to putting up with. I say put up with because these are very painful emotions and are exhausting, perhaps due to their lower vibration.

Love, just raises us higher and we can work at that level and things just go smoothly and we are calm. We got an e-mail this afternoon that the boiler will be replaced next week. I just did not let go of that awesome feeling when I left you. And I will ride this feeling until next week, I assure you!

I also hopefully got a small job for tomorrow so I can make some money on the side. I will learn to love this part-time gig I have, even though I said bad things about it in the past, for which I apologize and have realized that it will get me through until the time when I get the full-time gig. So, I bless this part-time job and I love it, too.

Thank you so much for sharing your vision of me. I have come a long way for sure, but I am learning the ways of the force. I appreciate your faith in me. I needed to hear that.

So, it is true. Send love to everything no matter what pain in the ass we are dealing with, and things will go our way, we just need to hold on and keep the vibe. We have to move out of that pain, and find our sweet spot, our default button so to speak, which is love, align with the universe, and there you go!

So, with things we do not like, we can change by sending them love, and eventually, they work out to our favor, the way we want them! this is so cool!

I just had to summarize what I learned today. Repetition helps in learning, especially with this stuff. It is great to review, especially with you, Lady Awesome. I go straight to the masters.

Love, love and infinite love,
Kat

mary carol moran October 25, 2012 at 15:20

Woohoo! Put the boiler in loving perspective, and she fixes herself!

You’re right that when you enjoy the heck out of the job you have, even better comes along.

I’m so excited for you on all counts!

Hugs and love,

Mary Carol
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Laura October 4, 2012 at 23:33

Well the thought that would have felt better in the scenario you give, would be to picture the “bitch” tripping over my foot (accidentally of course) and planting her face squarely in the middle of those ribbon winning pastries of hers. LOL:)

Another great article. Many of us were taught and shown that getting angry is either something scary or something to be squashed. And even pretend you’re not pissed when you are. So many don’t know how to acknowledge it or deal with it.

Denying anger, irritation, trying to send loving thoughts, only suppresses and serves to cause dis-ease.

Those difficult feelings you cover here need to be honored as well as joy and other fun feelings. One detriment is that when they’re ignored or stuffed, intuition dulls.

Awesome as usual and very thought provoking. Thanks.
Hugs.
L

Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:47

Thanks Laura,

You’re so right. the more you ignore your emotions, the less sensitive you become. But, it works the other way around, too. The more you acknowledge them, the more sensitive you become. So, it’s never too late to start! :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

Tinu October 4, 2012 at 23:50

Fab “Enlightening” post Melody ! A permission, if you like, to allow myself to FEEL, no one is judging me me, I’m only going to feel worse if I don’t acknowledge the anger and frustration (energy). Ditto, Not how I should feel or not feel and not how he/she would feel but more importantly how am I feeling.
Thank you Melody ! Awesome !

Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:48

You’re so very welcome Tinu! That’s pretty much my entire job, lol. Giving people permission to feel the way they do and want what they really want. I should maybe put that on my business card: Permission giver. Ha.

Huge hugs!
Melody

Arvind Devalia October 5, 2012 at 00:31

Melody, bravo!

Another fabulous post from you. This was so timely but just as well I didn’t read it earlier today as then I WOULD have slapped a few people!

Yes, I can feel crap and I can say it how it is – and I can still have moments of enlightenment and I can still go to heaven :-)

Bring it all on, I say!

PS Watch out people – you had better not ever wind me up the wrong way…
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Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:51

LOL Arvind! What have I unleashed?!

You know, even blowing up at someone once in a while can be healthy. Sure, it’s preferred that we catch it in the earlier stages, but if you’ve gotten to the point where you want to rip someone’s head off, unloading on someone can be very cathartic. I recently coached someone through this very scenario. They’d had a huge fight with their father and years of pent up anger and resentment had spilled out. They felt so much better but then the guilt came. They didn’t realize that this was actually a huge step not only in finally feeling better themselves, but in repairing that relationship. Sometimes, crap just has to be said.

So, watch out, people, honest Arvind is on the loose and he’s pulling no punches! ;)

Huge hugs!
Melody

Kane October 5, 2012 at 01:43

All I heard was blah, blah, blah, cake, blah, blah, blah, award-winning cake….

Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:52

Ahahahahaha Kane. Love it! :lol:

AB October 5, 2012 at 04:15

Great post as always Melody! While I don’t comment much please know I am reading each and every blog post you write and I love them all! This one hit home and led me to ask you a question I’ve had for some time….

I’ve read on some sites that you can “test” the LOA by asking for a “sign” that things are going your way. Sorry if this is off topic but your blog today about finding a better feeling led me to ask this. I sometimes ask for signs here and there and ALWAYS get them, though don’t always get what the sign was supposed to bring me, if that makes any sense. Like if I say “show me a penny to confirm that a promotion is on the way” I always see the penny but not always the promotion. What the penny does bring me though is a better feeling – an awesome feeling really! But I am still wrapping my head around why the promotion hasn’t come ;)

In your opinion is this really me finding a penny because I “asked” for it and not really a sign that my promotion is coming? OR, do you think there are really signs and indicators that the other things I’ve asked for are coming?

Anyway, again if this is off topic please don’t feel obligated to get into this but I thought this was sort of related to a better “feeling” so I thought I’d ask.

Have a GREAT day!

Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:56

Hey AB,

Don’t worry. I love your comments whenever you’re inspired to write one. :)

It’s easy for you to line up with a penny, so you do. Then, you see it as evidence of your manifesting ability, which it is, and you’re happy. But you’re still focused on the lack of promotion, so that doesn’t come. IF you are aligned with the promotion, signs for that will show up and you won’t miss them. You don’t have to control what the sign is. You will recognize it. The Universe speaks to you in your own personal language.

There’s a bit of a fallacy here: “I’m not sure that the promotion will come, but if you bring me a penny, I’ll give myself permission to believe it.” And then the penny comes, because you lined up with that easily, but you haven’t lined up with the promotion, so you still don’t quite believe it. Spend more time thinking why you want that promotion and seeing yourself already having gotten it than looking for signs. And then, the signs will come.
And/or, just the promotion itself. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

Nay October 5, 2012 at 04:26

Amazing Melody,

‘…Think like a saint…which thought would you choose if they were broadcast on a big screen…which thought ‘should’ feel better.’ These are just so accurate! Were you tinkering in my head? I’d swear you pulled half this post from questions in my brain! :) But as usual, your clarity of thought put the random pieces together.

Even as much as I’ve shifted, I still have to concentrate to ensure I’m not worrying about other peoples approval or how I ‘should’ think…but it’s getting so much easier! Such a huge shift in perception, but so important because trying to think like a saint is really no different than trying to think like anybody else. It just doesn’t work. (NEVER would have said or even thought this before!)

But now, now I will remember that there are great lessons from the saints, but the path and thoughts are still my own, and only I can determine what works for me! And the thoughts themselves are not the key, except in the fact that they can provide guidance on my feelings. :mrgreen:

Love getting these huge jumps in clarity from your posts. As always, Thank you!

Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 17:59

Hey Nay,

It’s all about judgment really. When we judge one thought to be better or more worthy or saintly or whatever than another, we limit our choices. And limiting our choices is what resistance really is. It’s never in our best interest. Open up all choices, make all thoughts valid and ok, and then choose the one that works best for you from all of them. I suppose another way to describe enlightenment is “seeing all the choices, and seeing them without judgment.” Booya!

Huge hugs!
Melody

Cassandra October 5, 2012 at 07:48

Melody,

Thank you for this post! Sometimes it’s easy to forget that our emotions, even the less desirable ones, are worth a lot in helping us raise our vibrations and we shouldn’t be ashamed of them. In society it’s always pushed on us from the time we’re children that it isn’t “okay” to get angry or disrespectful, so it’s reassuring to have someone so knowledgeable in LOA and working on enlightenment remind us that it is okay.

I am definitely going to start listening to all ranges of my emotions more and use them as guides to helping me be more enlightened in my every day life. :)

Just a little side “p.s.”… I’ve missed talking to you, miss Melody! I’ve unfortunately been letting everything in my schedule take me away from connecting with the people I enjoy talking to…but I am making it a priority to not let that happen anymore and to be sure that I make time for the things that bring personal happiness & growth into my life. :)
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Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 18:04

Hey Ms. Cassandra!

Don’t worry. I’ll always be here when you’re ready. Or at least the blog will. I may be off on an island somewhere being fed grapes by my male harem or something. Ha.

One of the greatest joys in my life is when I’m able to witness the intense relief that comes over people who have just been given permission to admit how they feel. Hardly anyone does that. And yet, it’s like opening them up, taking a weight off of them. And it’s fantastic to do that with kids, too. Validate their feelings. Don’t try to change them or disallow them. How often does a child exclaim that they hate someone only to be told “No you don’t” by some “helpful adult”. In that moment, they do. They may not in five minutes, but right now they do. And sometimes we do, too. And that’s totally ok. :)

Huge hugs!!

Melody

Dawn October 5, 2012 at 16:53

I have to laugh. I am laughing at myself because I have been there so many times. It took a long long long time to realize that I really didn’t have to stay there, I could just leave. Not to be rude, not to be dramatic, but to just move myself from a place where there would be no peace to one that would grant me more.

I get how tough it is. You WANT to be able to deal with situations with love and compassion, but sometimes you just can’t. Getting to know yourself and accept that you just can’t change something, or someone, or your feelings about this or that, IS a part of enlightenment.

I got it. I live it. I work on it and try to help others. But I laugh, cause I know that moment so very well.

Marjorie October 5, 2012 at 17:53

Hey Dawn!

I totally relate to your post and I love how it just flows…there’s such power in knowing that we can control our emotions, thoughts and reactions! :)

Marjorie

Dawn October 5, 2012 at 18:18

Thanks Marjorie!!
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Melody Fletcher October 5, 2012 at 18:07

Hey Dawn,

Thanks for sharing your experience here. I find that we often try to change our emotions to something better before we even acknowledge what the emotion is. That just doesn’t work. Often just admitting that we’re frustrated or whatever helps to let it go. It can all be so much easier than we make it.

And when you can look back and laugh at your own silliness for taking it all so seriously, that’s when you know you’ve got it.

Bravo!! :)

Huge hugs,
Melody

Dawn October 5, 2012 at 18:19

Melody, I am forever a work in progress. This is certainly a lesson I would have liked to learn earlier in life…but yes, I can’t help but laugh at myself. It’s an acknowledgment of my progress.
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DawnStar October 6, 2012 at 04:49

Hey Melody, I like to call what you are describing here the ‘spiritual bypass’. Amongst the questions I get asked the most are, ‘Do I have to like everyone?’, ‘Do I have to be loving, kind and generous to everyone?’, ‘Do I have to just smile and hug everyone even if they’ve done something really horrible to me or someone else?’ There’s a common misconception that ‘spiritual people’ aren’t supposed to feel anything but the good ole love and light and many ‘spiritual people’ attempt to take up the mantle. They bypass all those lower vibration feelings in a hard out effort to be good, think good thoughts, shine their light, earn their badge. I know a fair few who instead of truly feeling the joy they have painted on their faces, they are twisted up inside with confusion, frustration and plain pissed offness!

All feelings are divine emotion whether lower or higher, they all wish to be heard, felt, accepted, claimed and integrated. Once they’re acknowledged, they raise in vibration and woohoo, Bob’s your uncle :]

And yeah, I was never a stand and endure it kind of gal. If I don’t like where I am, what’s going on there, what I’m hearing or who I find myself in the company of, I’m gone. No excuses, no apologies, no permission asked for, just gone. I don’t lend my energy to anything other than I choose.

Namaste
:]

Melody Fletcher October 7, 2012 at 14:27

Hey Dawn,

Right on, woman! :) I like that term – spiritual bypass. So accurate in so many ways. Whatever we are feeling, it’s ok. Because only when we acknowledge how we feel can we actually do something about it. Like walk away. Or slap a bitch. You know… whatever. ;)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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tony October 6, 2012 at 15:07

Hi!

“You do your best to keep smiling, knowing (because you’re a good little LOA student) that there’s a thought in there somewhere that’ll feel better.”

Actually there is one.. Have you seen Madagascar (the movie)?

Private the Penguin: Skipper. Shouldn’t we tell them that the boat is out of gas?
Skipper the Penguin: Nah! Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.

Melody Fletcher October 7, 2012 at 14:29

Ahahaha Tony! I love it! And yes, I’ve seen it. The penguins were my favorites.

Thanks for the laugh.

Huge hugs!
Melody

Joshua Tilghman October 7, 2012 at 07:44

A good assessment on true enlightenment! Thanks for another great post, Melodi!
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Melody Fletcher October 7, 2012 at 14:29

You’re so welcome Joshua! And thanks so much!

Huge hugs!
Melody

Ysindla October 7, 2012 at 14:54

Thank you Melody for another super post. I’ve been beaten black and blue by “spiritual warriors”, Reiki Masters and “Adepts” of all kinds for simply being honest and stating how I feel about things – not whingeing or whining – just being pithy!

I run a new age store and refer lots and lots of people to your marvellous blog.

PS Saying “no” is glorious! Thank you for your help last week. You’re an angel.

Cheers xxx

Melody Fletcher October 8, 2012 at 18:25

Thanks so much Ysindla! I really appreciate the referrals! :)

It’s easy to take the stance that all negative expressions are bad and just “outlaw” them. But we have to first admit how we feel before we can reach for better feeling thoughts. Otherwise, we’re just lying to ourselves and that doesn’t help at all.

You’re so very welcome. Keep up the great work!

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Muhammad Albuhairi October 7, 2012 at 15:02

hi Melody,

it is great to be one of my reading list ,you are realy a selective .
“negative emotion is simply a feedback mechanism that lets you know when you’re focused on something that isn’t serving you” -inspired me

appreciate your effort and help

Melody Fletcher October 11, 2012 at 11:44

You’re so very welcome Muhammad. Thanks for your kind words.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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cranberry October 9, 2012 at 16:01

I really find this post helpful, but it got me thinking that it’s different or harder to acknowledge (sort feelings out) or move to a better feeling, when you’re suffering from depression or anxiety. So when you don’t want to do something, you have to find the reason why wouldn’t you do it – is it because of anxiety or you really don’t feel like it. It’s harder in situations that are more challenging. What’s your opinion about this?
Hugs to everyone!

Melody Fletcher October 11, 2012 at 11:46

Hey Cranberry,

Great question. No, you don’t have to figure out why you don’t want to do it. Just acknowledge that you don’t and honor that. But most people won’t allow themselves to not do something they think they should without a good enough reason, not realizing that “I don’t feel like it” is a good reason. And if all you want to do is take a nap, then do that. Forcing yourself to do a lot of things you don’t want to do will not help your depression. Being kind to yourself will. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Dusty October 23, 2012 at 20:54

This post cracks me up! It reminds me of an ironic moment from childhood. I grew up with hippy parents and I was dragged to every psychic fair, palm reader and new age conference you could think of. After one those, mom was sitting on her hemp mat meditating. I was being an average, get-into-everything-while-mom-is-busy kid. Mom without missing a beat, backhanded me (they did that in the ’70s) saying “damn it! I’m meditating for world love and compassion!” …ummm… I think it’s hilarious NOW.

To me, the problem wasn’t the cake or even the super bitch coming from down from Mt. Olympus just to let you know how you that she is a 100 times as pious as you are. The problem was with the expectation. If she is a bitch, you know she is a bitch then why the surprise that she was being a bitch? This is who she is. Some people are bankers, some are firemen and some are bitches.

That is the awesome thing about this universe. She, in short, was demonstrating what qualities that don’t fit into your life style. You don’t have to say “thank GAWD, I’m not like that!” Just recognize, “ohhh she’s a bitch, which means we probably won’t be friends and she will feel the need to trash talk anything I do.” You liked your cake. You may have even liked hers. You don’t have to like her. You don’t even have to give her the moments she spent cutting down your stuff. Choice is a brilliant thing!!!

Melody Fletcher October 30, 2012 at 01:34

OMG Dusty, that’s too funny. If only flip cams and YouTube had been around, your mother backhanding you in the name of world peace would’ve made an awesome video! :D

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Dusty October 31, 2012 at 15:18

I swear to gawd, my childhood was an independent film waiting to happen. I couldn’t watch “I dream of Genie” or the “Brady Bunch” because it showed women in subservient roles. BUT, I could read Clockwork Orange.

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