Does No Good Deed Really Go Unpunished?

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by Melody Fletcher on September 27, 2012

 

Awesome Shaun wants to know: “I read your piece on empathy being the last way to help someone. It reminds me of a saying I heard recently that “No good deed goes unpunished.” I’ve experienced this so many times. I started trying to figure out why this happens. I think you’ve come really close to answering this in the piece on empathy. Could you nail this saying on the head for me in terms of energy, etc?”

Yes, Shaun. Yes, I can. In fact, it will be absolute pleasure to dissect, disprove, dismantle and destroy this totally bogus belief. Not that I have any kind of strong opinion about this or anything…

Where this belief comes from

Ok, so all of our limiting beliefs were formed when someone, at some point, noticed something happening, and then came to a conclusion about HOW it happened. These erroneous conclusions are then passed on to our offspring, in an attempt to save them from having to develop their own perspectives at some point (and possibly figuring out that many of those conclusions are total and utter BS.)

So, at some point, someone noticed that when doing something nice for someone, instead of being showered with gratitude and sexy undies, they may, in fact, have been turned away, sometimes angrily. In other words, they were told to eff off. Now, we know that helping others doesn’t always turn out badly. But why isn’t our help, which comes from a really positive place, always welcome? Is it because some people are just ungrateful bastards, or is there some other parameter in play?

What goes wrong

Let’s look at this from the perspective of the helpee (the one being helped) for a moment, shall we? I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, who is spending some time at a spiritual retreat. He’s visiting a friend there, and able to take advantage of all the amenities. When I spoke with him, he was ready to go home. The leader of the retreat was getting on his last nerve. My friend had recently had a major breakthrough and had released years of pent up anger. He was now spending some time processing that huge shift, and had withdrawn from the others in order to do just that. His intuition was spot on – he needed time alone and so spending time with others had become totally uninteresting to him. But the retreat leader, who is a very nice man, I’m sure, kept reaching out to him, asking him about what had happened. Perhaps he could feel some of my friend’s residual anger, or perhaps he simply misinterpreted my friend’s anti-social behavior as negative emotion, but he began to try to guide my friend away from anger (judging that as “unhelpful”) and into love. On top of that, the leader became convinced that the problem was a lack of self-love (perhaps because all negative emotion can be attributed to a lack of self love in the very grand scheme of things), and began telling my friend that he had to love himself more. There was only one little problem (actually, there are several, but I’ll get to that point in a minute): My friend wasn’t struggling with self-love (at least not directly) and wasn’t ready to move into love on the particular issue he was dealing with. He kept trying to tell the leader and the other staff that he simply wanted to be left alone (which is what he needed in that moment), but they saw his withdrawal as denial. The more he pulled away, the more they went after him, until he felt a bit like a cornered animal, ready to take someone’s head off in order to escape.

Unfortunately, this scenario is fairly common amongst the well intentioned. Here’s what went wrong:

My friend never asked for help

My friend had never asked the leader or anyone else for help. He hadn’t even officially joined the retreat, but even if he had, he hadn’t asked anyone to assist him with his process. He hadn’t asked verbally or vibrationally (otherwise, it would’ve turned out better); the help was being pushed on him, whether he wanted it or not.

Why this will not end well:

When you try to help someone who hasn’t asked for your help, it may come from a good place (an intention to help others), but it’s anything but inspired action. This type of help is actually quite condescending. What you’re saying is, “I, with my human mind, have determined that you are broken and I know how to fix you. So, if you’ll just listen to me, you’ll be ok. But if you refuse to listen to me, you’ll be doomed. There’s just no way you can do this on your own.”

Problem Number One:

My friend was not broken. No one is ever broken. And looking at someone as though they are, basically viewing them through a very low frequency lens, will not only make the viewer feel awful, but the person they’re looking at as well. People will rebel against such an onslaught of negative energy every time.

Problem Number Two:

It’s incredibly condescending to think that we, with our relatively limited minds (compared to Who We Really Are), could determine the best course of action for another being. We can only ever apply our own perspective and experience to any situation, and we can’t guarantee that this perspective will actually apply to someone else. Therefore, the best we can ever do is offer our opinion on what might help, but we can’t know for sure. Often, when we try to help someone without doing so from a place of vibrational alignment, we are trying to pull them in a direction that isn’t anywhere near where they want to be. Just because WE think they should go there, doesn’t mean that they want to or actually should.

Respecting the Process

There’s a reason why we have continued to evolve since the beginning of our time, and it’s not because one of us figured out all the answers somewhere along the way. There’s a natural process in place, one that we are now coming to understand through LOA, one which many of us understood through many other modalities over the course of human history, but not one that needs to be understood in order to work. If this process wasn’t in place, we would’ve gone extinct a long time ago (the same process applies to animals, plants and all that is).

Who We Really Are is always calling us toward what we want. Our inner being, our soul, God, whatever, knows exactly what we want and how to get us there from where we, in our human form, are. So, a perfect set of directions is always being broadcast to each of us, guiding us to what we truly want. And everything we do is in pursuit of this signal. The only thing that ever goes wrong is that we stop hearing the signal at full strength and then we become a bit lost. But we never completely become disconnected. We might turn down the volume on that signal for a while, but it has other ways to make itself heard. Our emotions and other manifestations will always show us how we’re doing. It’s an absolutely flawless process, and not one that we have to get involved in.

In fact, when we do try to get involved and we mess with the natural flow of energy, that’s when things really go tits up. Since the energy of Who We Really Are is pulling us towards what we want, and our emotions are giving us feedback on which direction we’re going, anyone trying to pull us in a direction that isn’t aligned with Who We Really Are is going to cause interference, which will translate as negative energy. To put it more bluntly: If you’re not helping someone from a place of vibrational alignment, you’re actually hindering them.

How we can truly help

So, how do we get into vibrational alignment, and what does helping from that perspective look like?

When you’re in vibrational alignment, you

  • Don’t see the person as broken. Instead, you see them through the eyes of Who They Really Are – perfect, healthy, happy and on their own valuable journey.
  • Understand that whatever they are experiencing is perfect for them in that moment and will help them get to where they want to go.
  • Know that you don’t need to do anything to help them. They have more support than we can ever imagine.
  • Know that they will get to where they want to go. We all will. Guaranteed.
  • Know that in your human form, you don’t have all the answers (not even close). And you’re ok with that, because you understand that we always manifest the answers we’re ready for.
  • Understand that there are an infinite number of paths that lead to a goal and you can’t determine which path is right for anyone but yourself.

When you help from a place of vibrational alignment, you don’t try to circumvent or replace the process. You don’t think that you “know better” than Universal Intelligence. You don’t hinder the process, you become part of it.

If you truly want to help someone, don’t try to control their process. Become part of it.

The Universe doesn’t need your help to do its job, but if you want to assist, you can. There’s a big difference between those two mindsets. The first is full of obligation and responsibility, while the second is just a desire. Mind you, it can be a strong desire, but it’s a desire nonetheless.

So, the Universe will provide all the help that a person needs, with or without you. But if you’d like to be involved, you can be. Here’s how:

  1. Get into vibrational alignment (see above).
  2. Allow the person to come to you (don’t try to help anyone who hasn’t asked for help.) Once you have some experience with this process, you may then follow your intuition when it tells you to go to someone, but be very careful with this. Make sure you’re helping from a place of alignment and not because you think you should or have to. Remember that you don’t get to determine whom you can help.
  3. Ask questions and really listen and absorb. If you find yourself tuning out and formulating the “answer” before you’ve even really heard the question (or if there’s a question at all), you’re not aligned. You’re being a DO-gooder, not a BE-gooder, which is just freaking annoying. Stop it.
  4. If you’re a vibrational match to helping this person and they are a match to the help you can provide, then they will manifest what they need through you. You’ll be inspired to say just the right words, or take just the right action that will help them get the clarity and help they need. Notice that at no point does this entail you figuring out what they need. Let yourself be inspired. This may also mean just sitting, listening, and shutting the hell up.
  5. Don’t require anything of the person. For example, don’t be disappointed if they don’t take your advice. The person may have gotten exactly what they needed from just your words and energy. Their new clarity will guide them to their next actions, which may not match the examples you gave. Don’t require them to know what you’ve done for them or to be grateful. Often they will be, but not always. If your intention was to help instead of to be acknowledged, then you’ll be ok with that.
  6. Remember that how THEY feel has nothing to do with YOU. You may have helped someone get to the next step, but that next step may still be far away from Happy Happy Joy Joy. Allow them to be wherever they are in their own process and don’t try to make them feel better just so that you don’t have to view their suffering.

The more I work with energy, the more in awe I am of the perfection of this natural process. When I coach, I trust this process and simply assist my client with allowing it. The transformations that happen when working that way are nothing short of phenomenal. The other energy healers I know who work in such a supportive manner feel the same way. In fact, we are all noticing an increase in the efficiency of the process – as the global energy is speeding up (and boy, is it ever!), we’re seeing healings take place in record times. People are feeling the pressure of their limiting beliefs more than ever, but they’re also shifting out of them faster than ever before.

But, to bring this all back to the original question and tie it all up with a nice, tidy bow: Good deeds are not punished, unless they come from an arrogant, know it all, albeit well intentioned place. In that case, the reaction you get to your “help” will show you exactly how off you were. Good deeds coming from a place of alignment will lead to miracles. Now you know. You’re welcome.

Image Info: Those of you who follow me on Facebook will be familiar with the Bullshit Fairy. For those of you who don’t, you should totally follow me, or the Bullshit Fairy may not leave any money under your pillow the next time you lose a belief. You’ve been warned.

 

{ 32 comments }

tony September 27, 2012 at 13:39

Hi!

Melody, I need your help to undesrtand. Your friend said he wanted to relax but what actually happened was the opposite. Is this a kind of figurative language? Did he say he wanted something (litteraly) but what he actually wanted was something else?

“He hadn’t asked verbally or vibrationally (otherwise, it would’ve turned out better)”
And how did that manifestation happen? By accident? Don’t we manifest all the time?

“The more he pulled away, the more they went after him, until he felt a bit like a cornered animal, ready to take someone’s head off in order to escape”
What I see is that he felt under pressure. But this man looks like a victim to me. From my point of view, it’s him who has the problem, not those who wanted to help him (even if they hadn’t got a clue about what they were doing). E.g He goes in, they try to help, he says no, they try again, venceremos, hasta la vista, hasta la victoria siempre, auf wiedershen, goodbye! Still friends! How more simple can that be?

Why those attempts will not end well? Is this an implication that something bad happened? I’m scared ! :)

If there wasn’t a purpose, why they met at the same place and at the same time? Is the universe producing waste? Are you sure everything is ok in this story?
This story sounds a little weird to me.. I hope I’m wrong!

Melody Fletcher September 27, 2012 at 15:24

Hey Tony,

While this post was written more from the perspective of the helper who is frustrated that a helpee who so “obviously needs his help” isn’t getting it, you’re right. My friend had a manifestation going as well.

His natural process was to pull away and process his recent shift. But he also had some self-doubt, and that’s what manifested here. He had lost a bit of faith in his own guidance and was questioning his feelings. The retreat staff were mirroring back those doubts. It was still a perfect manifestation. And the incident did cause him to manifest circumstances that allowed him to get his faith in himself back, stronger than ever.

When you push people to try and help them and it goes badly, it is still a perfect match. You will be a perfect mirror to some piece of resistance within them. But, here’s the real question: is that what you want? Most of us who want to help, actually want the helpee to come away having benefited from the exchange. In that case, this post talks about making sure that’s the case, and cutting down on those exchanges where the person we’re trying to help just gets defensive.

And of course, when you try and help someone and it doesn’t go well, the emotions you experience are telling you about your own resistance. Some of the most common resistance that helpers deal with was detailed in this post.

We can just continue to allow our manifestations to show us our vibration and then react from there. And that will serve us well, if we continuously improve. But, and this is my argument in this post, we can also deliberately shape our experience beforehand, which speeds up our progress and makes our lives that much more enjoyable. If you want to help others and have a good experience doing it, you can make sure that happens if you take the time to line up with the experience and find vibrational alignment first.

Does that make sense?

Huge hugs,
Melody
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tony September 28, 2012 at 04:06

Yes, it does.
I don’t like it, but it does make sense. It’s a little artificial.
Is there a way to erase doubt to improve chances when we expect things? It could be fascinating. We would have the ultimate pleasure of creating both a powerful resistance (with the excitement of doubt) and the ability to cancel this resistance at the same time (without having to fake it). That’s the real game. A true roller-coaster with uncertainty and absolute control at the same time. Like forcing our minds to throw random manifestations to us but we will have the ability to overcome all of them without worries. Is that madness? Like being a superman (without having to look like a superman) but with no obligations of protecting the planet from a point of” love” or spending your imagination on destroying people to get revenge from a point of “hate”.

Melody Fletcher September 28, 2012 at 17:13

Hey Tony,

You can erase doubt by doing this process deliberately. After a few successes, your confidence in your ability to receive deliberately will grow. You’ll come to understand just how much control you have.

I don’t consider this faking it – it’s an understanding that the non-physical is real, and that we have the ability to focus it into the physical. You have to actually line up withe energy of it. If you fake it, you won’t make it. ;)

Yes, this is absolutely possible, although manifestations are never random. But, for example, let’s say i want more money. I don’t have as much money as I want, and so clearly I have some resistance to that, but, I don’t know what it is. So, I spend some time focusing on what I want, as clearly as possible. That speeds up my energy on that topic, causing my resistance to manifest in a bigger way. To the untrained eye, this may now seem like I just got hit with a lot of ugly scenarios. But of course, these are all mirrors of my resistance as well as opportunities to overcome it. So, I shift my perspective and continue to line up with what I want more and more, until the resistance is gone and money comes flowing in, in much greater quantity.

You can be in deliberate charge of your reality. To me, that’s even better than being superman. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

tony September 29, 2012 at 12:59

Just a thought on this helper-helpee scheme.

We are behaving like lunatics. Some want to help even when they know that none trully needs help. They ask for it and a volunteer arrives who also understands that none trully needs help. This is the part that doesn’t make sense to me. It’s not logical to ask for something which is completely pointless.

It is our mind though that transmits those frequencies (of the help-helpee reality) to manifest. Since we are not completely nuts (I hope) is it possible that there is an antenna somewhere that sends us signals to sacrifice ourselves (which sends us signals for auto-self-destruction)?

An example of what I’m trying to say:
Helper’s perspective: receiver catches a signal with the following message: “Someone is suffering and needs your help. He is a part of the universe so universe suffers too. You know how it feels to be in pain so if you don’t help you are bad and you are consciously allowing universe to stay in pain. That’s terrible and you deserve to be punished if you don’t help. Since someone doesn’t let me to interfere with your reality, you should punish yourself. Feel guilty and start decaying”

Helpee’s perspective: receiver catches the following message: A good man desperately wants to help you. He’s nuts but he thinks he trully needs it. Make yourself weak and give him what he wants. No one is playing with him and he suffers being alone with none to help. You know how it is to be in pain, if you don’t help you are a bad person and you deserve to be punished blah blah

The wannabe-helper and the wannabe-helpee convince themselves that if they don’t do what the message says they are bad indeed. The request is not logical but there’s a human being in need and universe is suffering, so why not do a favour? They transmit their frequencies as told, make this a reality and meet.

They don’t know that none asked for this and it’s a third partie’s trick. They suppose that the other person really asked for help. They see that they are wrong, they know they are victims, but they don’t know who is really responsible. They assume that the other person has deceived them, nothing makes sense, they get both hurt and start doubting for the other person’s kindness.

Then they want to know how to consciously make this happen again and really help next time. How does that sound?

Melody Fletcher September 29, 2012 at 18:43

“Some want to help even when they know that none truly needs help.” – they don’t know that. That’s part of the problem – the mindset that others are sort of less powerful than them and need their assistance.
What we actually want and what our beliefs are, are two different things. We often don’t manifest what we want, because we’re not anywhere near that, vibrationally. But if we look at what we are manifesting, we can begin to see what our erroneous beliefs are (and you’re right, they generally don’t make sense), so that we can then begin to think and believe what DOES make sense to us.
Most people aren’t nearly self aware enough to understand what’s REALLY going on. That’s not a criticism, it’s just how it is right now. But more are waking up all the time. So, they (we) react blindly. People don’t take the time to evaluate how they are feeling or what they’re thinking. This is why we often refer to such behavior as being “asleep”. This is not a conscious process, which is a large part of why we continue to “behave like lunatics” as you stated, without even realizing it.
But, when we become aware of the lunacy of these beliefs, when we start to actually evaluate what we truly want and if what we’ve been doing is actually getting us there, we can begin to actually get what we want.
When someone truly wants to help and seems to just meet up with people who reject their help, it’s frustrating. They’re not getting what they want. They have beliefs that they are not aware of that attracts people who are not a match to that help. They are a match to the limited beliefs, though.
So, while your description is correct, I personally wouldn’t call it lunacy. I’d call it lack of awareness, being asleep, or acting like a robot who has been programmed by someone else (society, parents, etc.), and is simply reacting to that programming. I don’t blame people for their behavior – they are doing the best they can given the programming they’re running. I do my best to help those who are ready to wake up understand that they don’t have to react automatically, but can actually choose their programming themselves. They can program themselves, so to speak, so they can actually get the outcomes they want. :)

Hugs,
Melody

Marjorie September 27, 2012 at 13:52

Good Morning, Melody!

I have recently crossed paths with someone who shares my birthday as well a lot of other eery similarites. A lot! #4 is exactly what I needed. It is really a beautiful thing to watch someone go from being in a dark place to suddenly smiling more and deciding to start caring about themseves! All I do is listen and tell my story :) Thank you for this post, doll!

Marjorie

Melody Fletcher September 27, 2012 at 15:26

You’re so welcome Marjorie! It’s all we can do but it’s EVERYTHING. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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shaun September 27, 2012 at 14:21

hi melody,
You have done it again. only last night i was thinking ‘i wonder when melody will answer my question’ its been two or three weeks since asked it. I think i can feel another question comming on about why this is happening so much with a person who talks about this very thing. Is it yet more confirmation that beliefs are that powerful? You believe it, i believe it, so it happens. many thanks for answering my quetion and yes it makes perfect sense when i think back times when i believed ‘ no good deed goes unpunished’ i will reread your answer until i absolutely get it. then i will see if this makes a difference. i think i already the answer. thanks again melody
shaun

Melody Fletcher September 27, 2012 at 15:30

Hey Shaun,

Everything is a perfect co-creation. This blog was started by my intentions, but quickly grew to mirror not only my vibration, but that of the readers, too. And since I choose my next topic intuitively, I always tap into whatever question is being asked the loudest, and which I feel I’m prepared to answer (there are some big questions looming, but some of them still make me feel a bit uncomfortable. Like the post about abortion. I know what I want to say, but it’s such a volatile topic that my words can and probably will be totally misunderstood by some people. I’m waiting until I no longer focus on those people at all to write the post.) It isn’t just alignment with myself that I’m looking for, but also alignment with the energy of the blog, if that makes sense. So, I have to feel comfortable with it personally, and I have to feel that it’s aligned with the blog’s audience, as well.

You’re a lot more involved in this blog’s creation than you may realize. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Kat September 27, 2012 at 15:09

Great post, Melody. It explains lots if things. People eventually get the picture and act accordingly. Thank you!

Melody Fletcher September 27, 2012 at 15:32

Thanks Kat. As Tony pointed out, even if they don’t, it will still be perfect. But the beauty is that we get to decide consciously and deliberately what experiences we want to have and then line up with them. So, for helpers who want to have awesome helping experiences, this is a road map on how to do that. :)

Huge hugs,
Melody
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Philip F Harris September 27, 2012 at 16:27

As Mel implied, trying to ‘help’ someone can be very ego based. You want to feel good; you want to show others what you think you know; you want kudos for your superior guidance. You can’t really help anyone, but you can be a model for someone. When you live in your highest vibration, you expect nothing for doing so. People may be helped along the way, but you won’t even notice it and, being objective as much as possible, probably won’t even care. Ouch!

Melody Fletcher September 27, 2012 at 21:39

Oooh, Philip, I have to disagree on one point. We can be very aware of the process when we want to be. Why deny ourselves that joy? Personally, it’s one of my favorite activities in the world. But when we’re part of the process instead of trying to control it, that’s when it’s really, really fun. I love it when I feel the energy slot into place for someone and I always feel honored that I got to witness it. Of course, I’m sure that I’m not always aware of how my vibration may have affected someone, and that’s ok. But I love being the vehicle through which others find their clarity. Don’t you? There’s nothing wrong with enjoying that ride. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Philip Harris September 27, 2012 at 23:40

That’s why I said ouch. Mystics are objective, no judgments, no rights or wrongs, good or bad. The Hermit with the lantern on the mountain stands alone. When the master healed the sick, the blind, the dead, he did not cheer, celebrate, throw a party. He went his ‘way.’ For many, this is one of the hardest lessons to learn, to be in, but not of. So, enjoy your joy, you deserve it, Melody! In the Bonds of Brotherhood.

Fran Sorin September 27, 2012 at 16:56

Melody- Your post is spot on. I used to be one of those individuals who thought that being a good friend was helping someone. It took me several years of work on myself to know that not only is it not my job to do so but that I CAN’T and that it is indeed condescending – even though it’s done unconsciously.

My listening skills have helped me tremendously in recent years. Listen, listen, listen. Say few words – unless asked for opinion. And then, it is only a suggestion – never a ‘should’.

Thanks for another rich post. You rock! Fran
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Melody Fletcher September 27, 2012 at 21:41

Thanks Fran!

Listening is a really big key. When you focus your attention on them, and you stay in a non-judgmental place about what you’re hearing, you open yourself up to inspiration. It also takes the pressure off of us “helpers” when you go in only expecting yourself to listen and nothing more. If more comes, great, but it’s not necessary. You don’t have to fix anything. Ahhhh. And that approach leads to miraculous results. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Laura September 27, 2012 at 18:04

Good one Melo-
I love how with each post a bit more of your guard comes down and the words you really want to use, come right out. Awesome!

I was like a bobble head when I read Philip F Harris’ comment. And as I got to a certain part of your article, I was thinking of a personal experience.

Years ago, I had been seeing a therapist to work out some issues and some of my friends knew it. One night when a few of us got together at one of their houses, I was confronted by them. They told me that I shouldn’t be seeing a professional and that I should open up to my friends more. With friends I don’t need a therapist. Blah blah blah.

Yep. EGO! And boy did I feel cornered. They were begging for my trust which had the completely opposite effect. Frankly, I just think they were nosy and wanted the dirt after thinking about it all. And I never did trust that particular group of people (especially the “voice” of that so called intervention) again.

Melody Fletcher September 27, 2012 at 21:43

Let me get this straight – they did an intervention to get you to STOP therapy? LOL. That’s new… I’m sure that at least some of their intentions were good…

But it demonstrates something perfectly: They were asking you (through action) for something they were not a match to, and so there was no way they were going to get it. Quite the opposite, really.

Perfection. Every time. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Elle September 27, 2012 at 20:38

Another winner Melody. This is so perfect “You’re being a DO-gooder, not a BE-gooder” – I remember when!

I think we sometimes forget that we can have more than one belief operating at the same time, hence we experience a mix of those beliefs – and the way to ‘know’ this, is just to take a look at what we get. If I sound like I’m speaking from experience – yep. Not for the first time have I seen one belief in loss in some area and another belief in what I wanted and I managed to get lose something and yet get what I wanted all nicely wrapped up in a bow. Gotta love these laws.

Love Elle
xoxo
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Melody Fletcher September 27, 2012 at 21:47

Well, if beliefs were always nicely separated into little boxes, this stuff would be easy, wouldn’t it? But that’s not how it works in real life. They’re all mushed together.

But honestly, would it be nearly as fun if life were so simple that only one belief was ever active at one time? I wonder if this is how the amoeba feels? Or are they also more complex than that? :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Josie September 27, 2012 at 23:30

Yep, love LOA,

This resonates so much with me especially now. My brain has a million words buzzing around and formulating a sentence is feeling difficult. Yet I’d like to say the topic of loyalty is a strong and now I’m being presented with the “past scenario – being there 100% percent for others” and nil for me – OLD BELIEF PATTERS used constantly for a good 30 years [(I'm 44 in human life :-) ] of the helper/carer mentality and fixing, helping DO-ing for others now to the understanding of BE-ing there fore me loyally whilst understanding the Non DOing but BEing available for me and for others too! Only a very recent discovery which feels good but like a toddler unstable on her feet…. Loyalty to self as well as to others. I watch my little puppy Lillie being so loyal with such unconditional love for me already and boy she is teaching me to be loyal to myself.
Your post again comes at the perfect time to ties in so well with my thoughts of the last few days.

Thanks Melody,

Melody Fletcher September 28, 2012 at 16:57

Yay Josie! Sounds like you’ve found the perfect teachers. Toddlers and puppies are awesome at showing us the simplicity of these processes. Plus, it’s just fun to cuddle their smooshy little faces. Ha.

Huge happy shiny puppy hugs!
Melody
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Nay September 27, 2012 at 23:57

Hi Melody,

Intending to help, not to be acknowledged. It’s so easy to think we want to help, just to help. But underneath, that little desire to be acknowledged. That desire to know from another that we have done something right for them, so we feel better about ourselves.

Amazing how all this just keeps falling back to loving yourself, plain and simple, without that need for others to approve in some way. BEing instead of DOing. Does this mean, when we are DOing, we are more often coming from a place of need or lack, and when BEing, we are coming from a place of alignment?

Much to think about. Wonderful post!

Melody Fletcher September 28, 2012 at 17:00

Hey Nay,

When you’re DOing from a place of alignment, you don’t have to make the decision to DO. It’s almost like you can’t help yourself. Inspired action (aka aligned action) is natural. It’s a manifestation of alignment. It flows. You may have to make the decision to allow it, but you don’t have to make the decision to do it.

Action that you deliberate over, that you wonder if it’s right, that you stress about, that’s never aligned action.

Does that help? :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

Nay September 28, 2012 at 22:01

Never really put the DOing/BEing together with inspired action. Makes great sense…but most of this does once you ‘get’ it!

Thanks!

patricia September 28, 2012 at 00:33

Awhile back I was working with a couple who just wanted to get re-acquainted after the kids left and they were having trouble….big trouble connecting.

She and the kids had joined a conservative, ultra “one way” church and had shared lots of activities there. Now that the kids were gone she found that she wanted hubs to go with her and be just as involved and find the “true faith”.

Well hubs had found his ‘true faith’ while they were off at church. He had discovered his spiritual bliss doing wood carving in the basement and listening to classic jazz. He did not want all that noise or all those words and rightness….he liked the smooth moves of the jazz and the knife.

After she stopped assuming he needed assistance and it took her a long time to figure out he could believe something different from her – they came to the point of parting ways or letting go of this aspect of their lives.

They decided to stay together because there are Republicans and Democrats who can stay together…and they would each take their own spiritual paths. Then they worked on something they could share and enjoy together – which turned out to be gourmet cooking. And because they learned to listen to each other and find some flexibility…they have also added hiking to the agenda (even though that sometimes means she misses her church services, but the Preacher told her a once a month miss would not turn God away or turn her on to jazz!)

One professor of mine called this rescuing…one is standing in a boat out on the sea and trying to toss a life preserver to a person on terra firma – Sometimes I see this image clearly in my head when I am listening to folks.

Love the bullshit fairy….:) and hugs to you dear gal for the good words and I know you are smiling
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Melody Fletcher September 28, 2012 at 17:03

Hey Patricia,

This is such a perfect example of someone trying to “save” someone who really needs no saving. I LOVE the image of the person in the boat trying to save the person on land. Thanks so much for sharing this wonderful story Patricia! And it sounds like that couple found the perfect teacher for them in you! :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

avery September 28, 2012 at 13:41

LOVE the pudgy bullshit gnome-fairy :) :)

Melody Fletcher September 28, 2012 at 17:05

Thanks Avery! The last time I took a full day off, instead of prancing about town, I was inspired to sit down at my PC and create this little guy. This was truly inspired action. There was no decision, it just happened. I share these posters on Facebook and the response has been really great. So, prepare to see more of him. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

Mary Carol October 5, 2012 at 05:32

Love this post, Melody! Your list is spot-on.

A couple of days ago I was with a shamanka friend and gave her a little spontaneous energy reaction. She and I do this for each other. Another woman was there, and after a few minutes, she asked if I had a “message” for her. I was so startled! It never occurred to me that someone might want a “reading.” I focused and touched her shoulder, and she felt really healthy. I told her so, that I felt all this healthy energy, that of course she had problems but she was handling them just fine. She relaxed even more, and gave me a big hug.

Like you said to Philip, it felt great, and why not enjoy it. But I see his point too – it was a moment and then the moment was over and we all moved on. End of story.

Subtracting the ego from the healing process is such an important step, one that you’ve detailed beautifully in this post. Go Melody!

Hugs for all,

Mary Carol
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Melody Fletcher October 6, 2012 at 00:45

Thanks MC! And way to manifest a chance to expand your skills by giving a reading. Ha.

Hugs,
Melody
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