More Questions About Death: Dying Too Soon, Suicide and Longevity

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by Melody Fletcher on August 28, 2012

 

In the posts, Life After Death, Or How Life Is Like A Video Game, and Dear LOA: How Do We Manifest Death?, I dissect the subject of death, what dying really is, and what happens after we die. And while these two posts cover the basics, the subject of death and dying is too huge to be put to bed that easily. I continue to get a steam stream of death questions, and I’d like to answer a few of them today.

All of today’s questions come from Awesome Kat, who wants to know: “I just read an article about a 12 year old boy, full of life, who died within 4 days of a bacterial infection after severely cutting his arm during a basketball game where he saved the game.  How could LOA have prevented his death?  I know it is possible and it falls under the LOA and health topics.  Was it his time to go?  Did he not use his will?  Poor kid, I thought, but something was behind all this.  Although we do not know all the details, could there be an explanation with LOA I wonder?”

Death is not a failure

You have to stop thinking of death as something having gone wrong. You can’t prevent death – nor is it necessary to. It’s a natural part of our existence here, just like birth.

When someone dies “before their time”, whatever that means to each individual, we have such a tendency to declare it a tragedy. Something must’ve gone terribly, terribly wrong. After all, if it hadn’t, this young soul’s physical journey would not have been cut short. He would not have been denied the experience of living a long life and growing old. We somehow think that growing old is the only real acceptable option in this physical realm and anything other than that constitutes some kind of failure.

But here’s the thing: This boy, Who He Really Is, is on a journey. No one gets to determine what that journey is or where it takes him (and when) but him. No one gets to declare his life experience a waste because it ended at a time that they’ve declared “too soon”. He didn’t miss out on anything. His life wasn’t cut short; it continues in the non physical, and quite likely in the physical again and again.

Every death is perfect

The boy manifested his transition in the perfect way for him and, to a lesser extent, for his family. There’s no way to know what was being mirrored by the HOW of his death, or what his or his family’s actual experience was. The transition was always going to happen. It was the next logical step for him to realize what he truly wanted. Death was the best possible way for his next manifestation to come to him.

But all he did was withdraw his focus from the physical and shift it back into the non-physical. I can’t tell you why – that’s up to him and him alone (no one gets to make the decision of when you will transition, for you). But nothing went wrong. He simply stopped playing this game and went on to the next. I know this is hard to get our heads around, but it’s a shift worth making. Death is not failure. It’s just the next step.

The part of death that’s a co-creation

Kat goes on to ask, “Yes it is difficult for me to grasp this vibrational phenomenon, though I do understand it is merely a transition.  Was everyone involved with the HOW of his death, even though it was his decision to stop playing?”

Everyone who experienced his death, even you, was involved in the HOW of his death. This doesn’t mean that you or anyone else caused it. It simply means that his death matched his intentions – all of them. And this includes his intentions in how he played with others.

One event has the ability to mirror a whole spectrum of vibrations, so each person that experienced his death, including him, reacted to it in their own way. But a car accident would’ve evoked a different response from him and those around him than a blood infection. The way we die has to match our own vibration. Death is the way we manifest enormous alignment, much like winning the lottery is a way to manifest loads of cash. But just like each lottery winner has their own experience, so does every dying person.

Some transition quickly and easily. They’re not even aware of their death, really. Others go slowly and have time to experience large shifts before they make the big jump. Each person’s death is absolutely perfect for them. Just because we can’t see the exact reasons why, doesn’t make them any less valid.

But each death is also a perfect mirror to all those who surround the dying, or even those who just hear about the death. You experienced a part of this boy’s death, too. It made you sad and uncomfortable and raised many questions. It’s mirroring back some of the resistance you have to death itself and to how and why we die. But it’s also giving you the perfect opportunity to answer those questions and release some of that resistance.

The more public a death, the more people share in the experience, the more of a co-creation it was.

Can you wish yourself to death?

“Does this mean that everyone going through something or in dire circumstances wishing to die can very well get their wish if they match it vibrationally? I keep thinking those people should retract their statements, especially if they haven’t fulfilled what they set out to do in the first place. But I know it’s not so simple for it to happen that way, from your previous posts and vlogs, which I hope I understood correctly.

Death, in and of itself, is not a manifestation – it’s a way to get something that you want. This is an important distinction. Let’s say that you want some money. You wish for it and wish for it, but it doesn’t show up. Then, you talk to an LOA coach who asks you what you really want – what you want the money for? And you realize that your true desire is to feel free – the freedom that comes with massive wealth. And when you focus on that, you get it. Money may or may not be the way it comes to you. Money can bring you all kinds of manifestations, some awesome, others terrible. It’s a means to an end. And so is death.

All death is the same. Even suicide

Usually, when someone wants to die, they are simply asking for relief from their pain. But even if they become a match to that relief and they allow it into their reality, that doesn’t mean that death is the best possible way for that relief to manifest. Knowing if it is requires a much larger perspective than we have in our human form. It requires the perspective we have from the non-physical.

Even if the individual is determined to die by his own hand, if death is not the path of least resistance, then it will not occur. The suicidal person will back off at the last second, unable to go through with it, or will be found and rescued.  But if death is the path of least resistance, then it will happen.

The non-physical makes no distinction between a death from old age, an accident, death by murder or a suicide. No death is ever an accident or untimely from the non-physical point of view. And even your own actions cannot override your vibration. Ever. You are either a match for death, or you are not.

Also, there is never any unfinished business, because we’re not done doing “business” just because we’re not focused in the physical anymore.  Death is not the end of our experience. It’s simply a part of it.

How long are we meant to live, anyway?

“And those living past 100?  Humans were meant to live much longer, according to some scriptures.  Is our longevity determined by us and us alone?”

From what I’ve gathered, the human body has the ability to renew itself and live on indefinitely. The thing that makes us decline as we age is resistance. So, theoretically speaking, we could stay in these bodies and continue to have joyful experience after joyful experience for hundreds of years, if we allowed ourselves to continuously rise in vibration to keep up with our own expansion. In other words, if we could always release all resistance as it came up, we would not decline.

But death doesn’t just occur when we’ve amassed a ton of resistance and life becomes so painful that the only way for us to get any relief is to die. That’s one possibility of many. A lot of people get bored after so many decades and they long for a totally different perspective – the perspective that the non-physical can provide. That would happen even if we stayed healthy forever.

When we die, we release all resistance. And when we come back, we come back from that high vibration, into the current global vibration which, because it’s always rising and evolving, is always going to be at the highest level it’s ever been. That’s exciting to us, from our larger perspective. The possibility to be born into a completely different environment, to be exposed to a set of completely different circumstances and therefore explore all new experiences is also enticing beyond measure.

There’s a lot of value in stepping out and coming back in, rather than just sticking around. Having said that, I do believe that our longevity will continue to increase. Humans used to accept that 30 was old. Now, we routinely live into our 90′s. Give it a few more years, and those older than 100 won’t be special anymore. They’ll be the norm. But a lot of other beliefs have to evolve in order to make this possible. Old age scares a lot of people. Do you think that adding a few decades to our potential life span will soothe or activate those fears? There are financial issues (how will I support myself in my old age), productivity issues (at what age should we stop working), health issues (old age = decline), life issues (life = struggle, so a longer life = more struggle), and the list goes on and on. Adjusting our view on longevity requires that all of those beliefs evolve as well. Each person can take part in this evolution at their own pace, but society as a whole will take longer.

Now it’s your turn: What are your biggest questions about death? Does it scare you? Why? Share your views in the comments!

 

{ 51 comments }

Lauren August 28, 2012 at 18:48

Melody,

Just opened this page today and immediately wanted to thank you for the picture alone. I have one of those pet doors for my kitties. Fortunately, mine don’t have the “resistance” like the one pictured. Barry gave me a good laugh which I desperately needed.

Thank you,
Lauren

Melody Fletcher August 29, 2012 at 01:31

You’re so very welcome Lauren. I figured, if I’m gonna talk about death, I’d better add a funny pic, lol.

Huge hugs!

Melody
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Delving Eye August 29, 2012 at 07:03

I had the same reaction, Lauren. What a riot. I’m still laughing.
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Carmelo August 28, 2012 at 18:59

This is certainly not a subject most of us want to talk about. Bravely tackled Melody! A week ago my doctor died in a “tragic” hiking accident up at 12,000 feet elevation in the Sierra Nevada range. Was it HIS time?

It’s just so easy to think of our journey in this little box we call “human existence.” But, as you say, our journey is so much more than the blip we are experiencing right now. Whether it’s a few months, a few years or a 100 years, it’s still short in the overall scope of evolution, growth, and the advancement of consciousness.

Sometimes, when i stop to think about it, I think comedians have the answer. Why not just see life as a humorous foray into the manifested “reality” of time and space? Why do we take things (ourselves) so seriously?

Here’s to levity, joy, and laughter!

Carmelo

Melody Fletcher August 29, 2012 at 01:36

Hey Carmelo,

Exactly! We do take ourselves way too seriously. Of course, it’s easier to remember that when you’re not currently faced with the death of a loved one. But those are the experiences that offer us the most opportunity for connection.

When my grandmother died, I was fortunate enough to connect with her at the funeral. I’ve since had the privilege of connecting to several deceased, one very soon before and after actual transition. The exhilaration I felt, which was just a fraction of what they felt (I can only experience as much as I can allow), was unbelievable. I literally had to jump up and do a happy dance. My joy could not be controlled.

Death is most certainly not the end.

It was your doctor’s time, yes. And it was perfect. But the question that’s really important is, what was YOUR experience of his death? That’s the key for you.

Sending you huge hugs!

Melody
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Carmelo August 29, 2012 at 02:37

Yes, you’re right. How did it affect me? At my age death is something that is becoming more and more evident. Both my father and father-in-law passed away this year. Several friends’ parents have died. This is something that is part of life.

There is beauty in every phase of existence … even in the death of the physical body. And, even in the deterioration and pain of the physical body with which we often struggle emotionally. It’s a chance to rise above the temporary and into the higher realm of the eternal even before we pass on.

I just see it as the evolution of consciousness. One reason we’re here. But, sure, we miss having people around that we’ve grown up with and loved. But, that’s part of it too!

Thanks again for touching on this topic. It’s important to our growth and happiness.

big hugs back to you, Melody!
Carmelo
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Elle August 28, 2012 at 20:29

Melody you take my breath away with your awesomeness. Bravo to you.

What a wonderful take on death and dying. Part of our challenge I think is the fact that we can no longer have a ‘physical’ conversation or touch or a third dimensional sense of those who’ve passed on. But the fact that the physical presence is no longer available to us really doesn’t mean that the ones we love are no longer available, it’s just in a different form.

Not always easy to remember…I know from my own experiences, I was about to say of loss…old habits of thought die hard. :-) Truth being, I prefer to think of it less as a loss and more of a change.
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Melody Fletcher August 29, 2012 at 01:39

Hey Elle,

Thank you for your wonderful and kind words, chica.

That’s a great way to put it: it’s just a change. They have a purer vibration if you will, less dense and much less resistant. The dead are all around us, and they love to play if we’re willing. We can connect with them at any time. But the problem is that they don’t feel the same anymore. They’ve dropped all their worries and fears. If we want to connect, we have to be willing to do so at that level, which means we have to get to that level ourselves first.

It’s also a really great example of how we can’t focus on the physical manifestation of something to line up with it. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Brandi August 28, 2012 at 20:40

Boy do I resonate with today’s post. I just got a call this morning that my grandfather has been diagnosed with lung cancer. And we’re still waiting on the results to see if he has cancer in his kidneys as well. He will die, sooner rather than later. And it’s hard for me to diagnose how I feel about that. I am sorry for him, that he has to go through the pain and suffering that this transition will be. I am sorry for my grandmother who will continue to struggle after he makes the transition. I feel sad that I am losing him from my life experience. I almost envy him, though, that his struggle is almost over.

That brings me to another reason this post resonates with me. I know I don’t want to get old, for exactly all the reasons Melody lists as related problems and then some. Life is a struggle for me. I don’t think I really want to die, but the day to day struggle that is life is almost unbearable. I’m not scared to die, exactly, but it is unknown, and it is an end. I can’t go any further here if I die. I like thinking that death is simply moving on to another adventure, but so much of our happiness revolves around having those we love in the here-and-now. I don’t want anyone to suffer because I am gone, and I sure don’t want to suffer the absence of those I love.

*wince* I just realized how depressing this comment is after the levity and joy and happiness of the first two. But any insight anyone can offer is appreciated!

Thanks!
Brandi

Melody Fletcher August 29, 2012 at 01:45

Hey Brandi,

You don’t want to die. You want live to be more fun and less painful.

Death is a releasing of resistance. You can do that without dying. And when you do, life becomes so much more fun. The fact that you’re on this blog is a great sign. You’re asking for a better way.

It took me a long time to give up the struggle, to give up the suffering and trust that I would survive without it. Many of us think that suffering is the price we have to pay. For what? For things not to get even worse. But that’s not true. Suffering only leads to more suffering and fear. But it takes courage to let it go.

You will. I know you will. :)

Regarding your grandfather – if you can, spend time with him. Do your best not to feel sorry for him (it feels awful to be pitied). The dying are often incredible teachers, so I’d advise you to see it as an opportunity to learn. Your grandfather may have a much better feeling perspective on his death than you do. Don’t assume that you know how he feels. Talk to him. Listen to his stories. And notice how his point of view may change drastically as he moves closer to his transition. He’ll be getting glimpses of who he really is.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Mike August 28, 2012 at 21:27

Wow, how I wish this is what everyone thought! I brought up a similar perspective the other day to a few friends of mine & they were looking at me like I was heartless. Meanwhile, they continued to look at it in a depressing way while I was trying to bring light to it.

I’ll never forget delivering Steve Job’s commencement speech in one of my college classes where he talks about how death is likely the single best invention of life (because of how it drives us to appreciate our time & makes way for new times). Everyone in the class was completely silent & there was all this uneasy energy. I thought to myself there had to be a better outlook than that & this is it.

The hardest thing for me is no longer the idea of death & the good of that person, but more so the times you lose someone who you enjoyed life so much with. As you put it in another post Melody, it is grieving for yourself & not for the other person. I try not to think about that; although when I do, I’ve been turning it around to make myself enjoy & appreciate people even more.

Melody Fletcher August 29, 2012 at 01:49

Hey Mike,

This is why you don’t ever try to convince people of this stuff, lol. They can’t hear you until they’re ready. And until then, LOA can sound heartless and cold. It’s anything but, of course.

Death and dying take time to make peace with. It’s great that you’re able to turn it around. But it’s not just about appreciating the living (that’s a really good start, but it could still be bringing up resistance, as in “Thank you for not being dead.”). It’s about knowing that death is not the end, and that you can connect with the “dead” any time you like. They are still around. There is no tragedy. There is no loss. It’s just another leg of a much larger journey. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Kat August 29, 2012 at 02:51

Hey Melody,

This is so true! My husband says that his deceased mom guides him now more than ever in his life. He feels her there, guiding him in major decisions and comforting him in other times. This happens when you have a special bond with someone.

patricia August 28, 2012 at 21:38

I thought this was a great sharing Melody – thank you.
I was born with a large cancerous tumor, growing outside the body on my chest. I think this is an important part of my living life and why this time is important to me right now.
I have always been a pre-existing condition and have paid full price for all my health care – I can share my journey with people and make it a human/real story. This morning on my walk I was able to share my story and I think I changed someone’s mind about vouchers and medicare because of my story and my experience.
My parents were immigrants to this country, I was the only one born in the USA and I am not on welfare or demanding that government pay my way – more human storytelling.
Then when I share that the lastest political ad by one candidate is racists and has 7 major lies in it – they have just changed the wording it is more human storytelling and they calm down and listen. I think this is an important time for me to be here and sharing my story in this country.
I am not afraid of death or talking about death and I think that is another way that I make the story human.

I also think to be our best selves we need to feel the pain of death and the lessons of death – sadness. Says I who have trouble releasing anger…

I really liked the part about working with a coach and finding the freedom button and receiving the wealth to achieve that freedom! Count me in…:)
I have bookmarked this post because I want to share it with others…
Oh and one other thing: one of my dearest friends lived to be 102 with just some arthritis problems. She outlived her birth family, her husband, her child, and all of her fabulous friends….she was ready to move on, but her body kept on being amazing…so we worked with her doctor and hospice to help her transition through meditation and prayer and in 3 months she did. She said that she thought she was supposed to die about age 96 and her mind had wanted it then because she was going blind and deaf, but she felt guilt because her body was so healthy.
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Melody Fletcher August 29, 2012 at 01:54

Hey Patricia,

I agree. Your story is important. :)

What a wonderful story about your friend. It sounds like she had a strong belief that you’re not allowed to die until your body breaks down, lol. But it’s wonderful that you were able to help her transition. She manifested her death when she was ready and in the perfect way for all involved. We don’t ever want to hear this, but those who work with the dying often report that it can actually be a beautiful experience. And it can be, particularly when you have a bit of distance from the person who is transitioning (i.e. they are not your loved one).

I think when someone is ready to die, that becomes really apparent.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Denise August 28, 2012 at 23:57

Bravo for explaining this so well, Melody! I had an “ah-ha” moment with my own personal experience a few years back:

When my great-grandma passed away (at the age of 90 even after smoking and drinking for years), I realized that I was crying for my own loss. She was no longer near so I could not hear her singing voice nor her glorious chuckle… But she was the one released from her aging body. Shouldn’t I be happy for her?

I actually felt a bit selfish once the realization came, and no longer “feel bad” when people (under any circumstance) pass on. Just as Elle mentioned, death is just a transition to a different way of being that we cannot understand while living here. I liken it to a baby in the womb who is already present in this physical world but cannot yet fathom what he will be born into. Yet he is preparing himself by developing arms and legs, eyes etc.

Melody Fletcher August 29, 2012 at 01:59

Hey Denise,

That’s a beautiful metaphor! I love it!

The key is this: don’t try to share this point of view with those who are not ready. That’s when you become aware of how selfish they think you’re being for not having the decency to suffer, and that’s when you start to feel guilty.

Most people are not quite ready for this point of view. Let them get there in their own time. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Kat August 29, 2012 at 02:53

Good, solid advice!

Kat August 29, 2012 at 02:12

Excellent, excellent Melody! This post sure clarified some things I’ve been contemplating lately and thank you for dedicating it to all the pertinent questions.

This life is just one phase of being. We make such a big deal out of small things and sweat the all the small stuff while here. It’s so easy to get caught up in it all. Only while in flow, or in the vortex, can this clarity be realized. When out of it, we experience all this pain and turmoil, it sucks, but even this has a purpose to it, so we should take things in stride.

And ah, resistance. The main culprit, shall I say for lack of a better term at the moment of not so great stages of being. Eliminating this would make life so much more pleasant. Why do we torture ourselves so? There is no point to it.

Thank you, Melody, and of course I love you and your blog!

Melody Fletcher August 29, 2012 at 15:30

Thanks for asking such amazing Questions Kat! The questions elicit the answers. :)

You know, resistance gets such a bad name. But really, once you realize that you can work your way out of it and release it, it loses a lot of its boogieman status.

Also, I heard Abe say that resistance is like spokes in the wheel. Going super fast is only fun when you’re ready for it. But if you’re not, it’s scary (ever had too many changes hit you too fast?). Resistance is a great way to slow it all down to comfort level. We don’t mind it so much then… :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Nay August 30, 2012 at 03:29

Kat!!!

‘Why do we torture ourselves so?’ So true! Death and all the horrors we’ve been taught to attach to it. And when the young die, the horror of what they will miss, and how much we will miss them.

My son was born premature, and we almost lost him so many times while he stayed in the hospital. His body didn’t know how to breath, wasn’t developed enough to ‘remember’ how to do it. So I had to focus on him and what he needed, what I could provide, which really wasn’t as much as I wanted. And when a baby in the NICU wasn’t there the next day, the wonder if they had gone home, or not survived… Every day was a question, filled with fear. For his first year, it was always a question. And for two more years, he was always sick and in and out of the hospital. But to focus on the fear would have shut me down.

And thinking of this helped me realize, focus is everything. If all I had thought about was how horrible the situation was, or how he might die, I couldn’t have handled what he needed. I couldn’t have held him, bathed him, fed him through a tube, watched him be put back in the hospital, watched him fight. But he was meant to be here, and teach us all so much, which Melody and this blog helped me figure out. He’s almost 16, and you would never know he had all those issues as a baby!

So focus on fear would have accomplished nothing. And knowing this, writing this, has given me that knowledge, that little step to help with death. Fear is useless, in any area. It accomplishes nothing. It doesn’t eliminate the pain you may experience, but it does allow you to let it go and move on, as I feel is meant to happen. I know I still hold fear of death, and aging, as I wrote below. But having to face the reality of death before really living gave a new perspective I guess. (Not that I realized it until this post, of course. :) )

But on a better note, and tying directly into this…I woke this morning, went about my business through the morning, and out of the blue I was knocked upside the head with one of those things I torture myself with. It was so simple, and something that I’ve said so many times, but it just resonated so differently.

Why do ‘I’ allow myself to get so mad/angry? But it wasn’t a question. It was a knowing that I am the cause of it. That need to protect myself against anything, in case it hurt me. Pure fear, with nothing to sustain it but that fear. That second of insight…amazing! The feelings that zoomed through me, the realization that I was torturing myself.

So much fear and hurt to hold on to. And I had to ask myself, why do I allow myself to hold onto anger or fear? Because that is what I do; hold onto it for dear life, afraid to let go, because…because… And there was the answer; there is no viable answer, no reason. So, what would happen if I just…didn’t.

Thanks!

Kat August 30, 2012 at 14:25

Thank you, Nay, for adding this story here. I know, ain’t that how it goes?

God bless your son and you! Keep having those epiphanies and faith, of course.

Delving Eye August 29, 2012 at 07:12

“But if death is the path of least resistance, then it will happen.”

That is one of the most profound statements I’ve ever read.
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Melody Fletcher August 29, 2012 at 15:31

Thanks Delving Eye!

Hugs,
Melody
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Arils August 29, 2012 at 12:22

Hey Melody ,
Thanks for your post! But what i want to know is that u kept on mentioning when u die u go into the non physical . Then u might come back to physical if u want.
What exactly is the non physical ? What is it like? Is it heaven? Or what is it like? Can we meet our loved ones there?

Joy
Arils

Melody Fletcher August 29, 2012 at 15:36

Hey Arils,

Well, this is more than I can cover in a comment reply, but essentially, I believe we retain our individual consciousness, but our perspective becomes much, much bigger. We release all resistance, all fear, all doubt. But we are still around, just in a lighter, less dense state of energy (physical energy is less dense than non-physical energy). So, we become pure consciousness. But we are still very much interested in the things that brought us joy and passion here, just without any worry. We continue to play and create and experience. And yes, we can see our loved ones. We are much more aware of our ability to connect with anyone at any time, since we are all connected.

What’s it like? Well, when you die, you instantly reap all the stuff you created which you hadn’t yet let yourself receive while alive. So, it’s freaking awesome. That could be described as heaven, only there is no hell.

You are always non-physical, but you can project a part of yourself into the physical, like playing a video game. When you withdraw your focus from the game, that’s “death”. You can play as many times as you want. That’s what coming back is.

That’s it in a nutshell. I’ll write more about this in the future.

Huge hugs,
Melody
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Arils September 20, 2012 at 10:10

Hey Melody ,
I thought about this for a while and you said we go to the non physical when we die and we get whatever we want in the non physical . Could it be fair to say that we go to wherever we think or believe we go? So if we believe we shall go to hell , we will go to hell. If we believe will go to a heaven with boring clouds and baby angels after death , we’ll go there. If we believe we will go to Narnia or middle earth when we die, we will go there. If we believe we shall reincarnate , we’ll reincarnate Etc

I red before about near death experiences and it differs from peoples beliefs. Like different people with different beliefs experience different ndes. Like some will experience going to a mansion , some will experience talking with god in hell. So i think it could be possible we just go to wherever we believe we will go. Like the loa. We get what we believe. We go to where we believe. We become who we believe.

Joy
Arils

Melody Fletcher September 20, 2012 at 22:58

Hey Arils,

I don’t believe that our human beliefs govern where we go, no. That would mean that our limitations here have an influence on our non-physical selves and I don’t believe that to be the case.

Near death experiences are not death experiences. They can lead to huge quantum leaps and often do, but the energy is still translated through the human brain, with all it’s limiting beliefs. And that can lead to some scary visions. Our beliefs can have an influence on a near death experience, but not on the actual death experience.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Arils September 21, 2012 at 00:29

Hey Melody,
Well so u this non physical realm that u said , when we die we manifest all we want instantly. Can we manifest pain and suffering in the non physical? Can we create new things not on earth like dragons ,angels etc in the non physical? I’m very interested to know about the non physical that we will go when we die which u said about.

Joy
Arils

Melody Fletcher September 21, 2012 at 23:02

Hey Arils,

Pain and suffering are caused my resistance, which we leave behind when we die, so no, we don’t create that in the non-physical. It’s my understanding (although I don’t know for sure, since I’m not dead), that we can create anything we want in the non-physical, just like when we dream.

But we can create anything we want here, too. Why not focus on that? :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Sylviane Nuccio August 29, 2012 at 17:02

Hi Melody,

Well, I feel like I haven’t been here in a while, because I just so busy :)

It is so, so ingrained in almost all kind of societies under the sun that DEATH is something bad, something to be sad about, the end of it all…. etc… that “we” as members of such societies cannot or at the very least have a hard time to see death as something that is GOOD. I tell you, it would take a lot or subconscious re-programming to teach such society any different :) Even the media likes to turn death in big dramas all the time.

I have hear of a group of people in Africa ( a long time ago) that do celebrate death by dancing and chanting at funerals as they know that the person who is dead is now on an ever higher level than he or she was while living on this planet. But this is so rare of a people, isn’t it?

Thank you for this breath of fresh air and helping people to see that death is not was they think it is :)
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Melody Fletcher August 30, 2012 at 15:07

Hey Sylviane,

Great to see you here again! :)

I’ve heard of tribes like that as well. Some Asian monks to this, too. They celebrate the passing into the next realm just as much as a birth.

Thanks for your kind words,

Melody
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Claudia August 29, 2012 at 22:45

Hi Melody,
Wow!!! What a post. It’s the kind of post that I am going to have to read over again a few times to digest the information more effectively. I am commenting, though, because I have to share….I am deathly ;-) afraid of death. I *think* I understand most of what you are saying but I am not receiving comfort from it. I want to be one of those rare individuals who always releases all of the resistance I encounter and live for hundreds of years. That said, one of the side effects of being afraid of death is that it stops me from doing many things that “may cause unplanned death”…like flying. I hate flying because I am not in control and I am afraid of something happening that will hasten my death. I’m not even a very good passenger in a car because, again, I am not in control and something may happen that will hasten death. I keep trying different things, reading different viewpoints and meditating to facilitate a different mindset about death but I am unsuccessful. So, in the case of flying, when there is a plane crash that causes multiple deaths at the same time, how do you explain that with LOA? Maybe I’m just not getting it yet.
Thanks for a compelling post Melody. This is definitely a timely topic for so many reasons. Thank you!
xoxox
Claudia
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Melody Fletcher August 30, 2012 at 15:14

Hey Claudia,

Perhaps, the first step for you is to accept death – the fact that it happens to everyone. Stop pushing against that. Just sit with it and don’t fight it and see what happens. The choices you have are not die or don’t die. The choices you have are die and live happily until you do (and after), or die and live miserably until you do.

Another thing you can do is to recognize and see the divine in everything. This takes time (don’t expect to lose your fear of death in 5 minutes…), but it does accumulate. When you recognize the divine in everything (nature, all humans, all animals, etc.), there comes a point at which you start to feel the continuity of it all. You see death in nature, but you realize it leads to rebirth. That there’s a cycle. Don’t start with human death. It’s the hardest for us to accept. Start with plant death and work up from there.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself about this. Practicing reverence for life is much more fun than making peace with death, but will eventually lead to the same outcome. It sounds counterintuitive, but when you revere life enough, it doesn’t make you fear death more. It actually allows you to realize that life is eternal and cannot end. And when you have that realization, one that you can’t force, you stop fearing death.

I hope that’s helpful.

Huge hugs!
Melody

Nay August 30, 2012 at 02:35

Melody,

Such a difficult subject with the amount of resistance around it. When you state, ‘Death is not failure,’ my heart jumps in my chest. To think of it not as a failure but as a transition is such a better way. But it’s also difficult, as you say. We’ve accepted for so long that dying is a loss. That feeling of stopping before you’re done, before doing what you planned, or not doing the things you wanted. The regret that can come with the idea that you are dying.

And then I have to ask, what of those who know they are dying, and are fighting and horrified the whole way? It’s hard to know/understand what you say, and at the same time see their struggle and fear. Are they manifesting that fear while manifesting death? And I know the answer, but it’s so hard to wrap my head around it!!! And as you are with them, you are in the middle of that manifestation, as you say co-creating, so their fear is just as much your own manifestation. The lines are so blurred in this co-creating process for me.

So I know I have a slight fear or unease about death, or probably more accurately aging/getting old. It’s that sense of missing out, not finishing, not doing all that you wanted before you die, or being too old to do the things you wanted but didn’t get to, and the regret of that.

I’m not young, but I’m not even near old in my mind, yet at the same time I often think that life has passed me by, or I missed my time/opportunities. And all this while I have this intense sense that I will live past 100. Maybe that makes sense really. I think I will live a long time, and fear that the aging process will make that time painful, daunting, or just unhappy because I can’t enjoy it. Can you say resistance much? Maybe ‘slight fear’ is an under exaggeration. ;)

But I love the idea that death is not failing. It’s just a step in the whole process, a transition to a new place for your true self. So it’s something that I’ll add to my work on myself. My fear of aging is cutting me off from ‘doing’ right now. I can even see it so clearly while writing this. The things we learn while writing our thoughts eh?!

Thanks, as always.

Kat August 30, 2012 at 14:36

Nay,

I, too, have that sense that I will live past 100. Funny, you do not meet too many people that sense this. When I was little, I thought I would die at 20, and since that did not happen, this other sense dominates my vibration now.

As Melody explained in one of her responses to me above, resistance has a place and serves a purpose in our existence, yet we sometimes go overboard. We get stuck there and that prevents us from living a full life. So, chilling, free and easy is the way to go.

Nay August 30, 2012 at 17:00

Kat,

Chilling free and easy! May we live until we pass that 100 mark. Like you said, not many people seem to have that feeling.

Cheers to us.

Melody Fletcher August 30, 2012 at 15:21

Hey Nay,

Death is not only NOT a failure, it’s not the end. You’re not done playing just because you transition. In fact, you get to play more. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to be done playing just because you’re XX years old, either. At what age are we supposed to just stop and wait to die? For me, that age will never come (at least, I will do my best). Have you ever met an old person that still totally lived? They are full of joy and spark and energy and smiles and adventure. And we marvel at them and call them inspirational, but we think they’re also kind of freaks of nature. We don’t think that we have that choice, like we have to get tired and old and frail and there’s nothing you can do about it.

But you can. The best think you can do is to live your life with joy NOW. Those little old joyful people didn’t start really living when they retired. They were always like that and they just refused to stop. You are creating your future right now. Do you choose to create one where you are old and sick and tired, or do you choose to create one where you are the neighborhood terror, always making people wonder what you’re up to next?

BTW, I have believed for a long time that I’m going to be at least 120. I don’t plan on spending any of that in diapers hooked up to a machine. I plan on having adventures until the last second. Perhaps I’ll move through them a bit slower, but that doesn’t mean I have to stop. Also, this is why God invented electric scooters. Beep! Beep! :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

Z August 30, 2012 at 05:35

What? My comment hasn’t appeared. It took me alot of effort to write. Why censor a different perspective?
This gives the false impression that everyone is in harmony with this post.
That’s pretty controlling.

Melody Fletcher August 30, 2012 at 15:30

Hi Z,

I sent your comment to spam. I have no issues with anyone disagreeing with what I write here. But I have one rule: You must to so respectfully.

Is that controlling? Of course it is. I’ve worked hard to foster an environment here where people can feel safe to express their points of view. When a comment attacks me or others here, it doesn’t just fail to add to that environment, it threatens it. When others, particularly non-bloggers, see comments like that they stop participating out of fear of getting stomped on. There are plenty of places on the web where people sling their anger at each other. This will not be a place like that. And so yes, I tightly control the content that appears on my blog.

No one is taking away your right to your point of view and you are welcome to express it here, if it’s done in the spirit of an exchange of perspectives.

Having said all of that, I would like to understand your point of view. Why does the perspective that I expressed here make you so angry? Do you think that not fearing death (and accepting death means accepting all death. It’s either a part of life or it isn’t) will do damage? How? Why is it better to see death as a senseless tragedy rather than as a part of a larger journey? How does that serve us? I’m truly asking here.

I’m actually quite happy to have this discussion with you. I just have to insist that the house rules are followed.

Huge hugs,
Melody

Z August 31, 2012 at 11:14

Hey Melody,

I didn’t think my comment was anger or any worse than any other comment with another perspective.
I cannot remember the original wording as now you deleted it without warning I cannot review it.

http://www.deliberateblog.com/2012/03/01/dear-loa-if-we-create-our-own-reality-how-did-jesus-get-crucified/

In this blog there are similar comments from Brian, which you allowed and didn’t deem as “spam” or “slinging anger” as though I am some toddler being angry with no point.
I had a very valid point. It was respectful and honest. It was much better than my poor attempt to re-write it now!

Your own comments/blogs challenge people and you love to stir.

I asked you a question designed to challenge you. In fact it had nothing to do with death. It was the very nature of your persepectives in relation to your business. I am genuinely curious about the answer.
I think it was along the line of:
If everything is perfect the way it is, if everything is meant to be…why do you coach people???
You spoke calmly and casually about death as though this OK for people to suffer and die of horrible disease.
So it made me wonder and very curious-If you believe this (everything is perfect), why help others? Why coach them?
Why try to change their vibration of suffering or confusion?

It didn’t make sense to me. I like to understand. Why would a person who is at peace with resistance and death…want to coach resistance out of people?

Do you not see how this is curious? Your business contradicts some of these statements about everything being fine the way it is. This would include clients in despair.
It made me wonder that as your business is all about changing and uplifting people.

I’m really not that powerful. I am curious. If I ask you this question and you post it– are you worried other people will ask you the same thing?
Because I sincerely doubt that anything I could say would cause others to somehow start questioning you too.
Not many people have the “question everything” mindset and will just read what feels nice and agree.

In the post about Jesus you have a conversation with a Christian woman and offer her the link to this blog:
http://www.deliberateblog.com/2011/05/03/how-to-stop-being-offended/

She didn’t think you were spamming or a troll. I dislike being sent links..but she was very gracious and went and read it.

There’s no attack in my question..you would feel it. There is challenge and real issues.

I didn’t just sling random insults at you or anyone else.

As for the quotations about certain things that concerned me–yes my perspective hasn’t changed I found some remarks alarming and wanted that explain so I can understand.
In fact some of the remarks in the question, comments and your blog contain a “anger” or insulting feel to them in regards to the life so a young boy.
“did he not use his will” etc

There is no denying that questioning the willpower of a dying boy is a controversial statement along with some other things in the blog and comments.

Therefore at least one person will stand up and question what they feel to be a bit…nasty towards a suffering boy.
If anyone was attacking it was the original statements that spurred my response. Look at it in reverse and you’ll see where I am coming from.

If you feel that I’ve broken “house rules” please say why. I don’t think anyone on your blog, myself including is deliberately breaking rules or being a “rebel without a cause”.

Hopefully we can have an honest conversation.

Melody Fletcher August 31, 2012 at 21:49

Hey Z,

I do get where you are coming from, and I appreciate you being wiling to continue the conversation. I understand that any kind of censorship is going to piss people off, but I also am not going to allow anything to stay on this blog that contradicts the prime intention – which is for this to be a safe place to learn and grow (not just from me, but from everyone here.) So, I came up with a simple line, and I enforce it all the time. It’s this: You can be angry, you can show any emotion you like, and you can disagree with anything said here. But if anyone attacks a commenter or me, I’ll spam it. I’ve found that such comments tend to shut down all conversation, and that’s why I remove them. I can handle people coming at me, but I find that others get very uncomfortable when that happens, so I do my best to use my judgment on what’s best for the blog overall and long term. Is it possible that I may sometimes err on the side of caution? Absolutely.

And really, I never thought you deliberately broke the rules. I know that you are here to exchange ideas and that you are genuine. But I’m all too aware of the turn that discussions about subjects like religion or death can take and I’m just not willing to let that happen here. Please try to understand that I’m protecting the big picture.

I have no problem with you questioning my business or coaching, in fact, I’m happy to answer your questions and explain why I do what I do.

I don’t encourage suffering and while I see how it can be helpful, it’s not necessary. It’s like if you want to get to Paris. You can fly first class and have a wonderful and easy journey, or you can travel by freighter and foot while carrying huge bags of sand and have a long and difficult journey. Both journeys are valuable, since you got where you wanted to go. What I’m teaching here is that the long and hard journey isn’t the only way to go. I’m showing people that the first class option exists.

But I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with death. And I do my best not to judge the journey that people have chosen, even if they’re not aware that it was a choice.

So, when someone dies, I don’t think that anything went wrong. The death cannot be changed. How will feeling horrible about it help anyone? It won’t. It will only keep us stuck in a horrible feeling place. Of course, if you lose someone close to you, you’re going to grieve. But Kat wasn’t asking about HER dying boy, but a stranger. If the question had come from his mother, my answer would’ve been different. It would’ve given her permission to grieve. I would not have tried to make her feel better at that moment. You have to know what to say to whom, when.

On top of that, I do not declare that the boy suffered because he did something “wrong”. Yes, we create our own reality, but taking responsibility and taking blame are not the same thing. I don’t judge his experience or him. It happened. Finding a way to make peace with it and teaching people how to deliberately create their experience isn’t the same as saying “I want children to suffer”.

If we’re going to truly make peace with death, and I advocate that we do, since it’s an inevitable part of life and we will all face it, then it’s best not to do so conditionally. Why do we feel ok about an old, sick person dying, but not a young person? Because we feel that they have missed out on their life. But what if they didn’t? What if they got out of it exactly what they wanted? What if their journey continues? These are my beliefs. You are welcome to tell me yours.

The original question was more about making sense of what LOA teaches when looking at an event like a young boy dying and less about condemning him for doing so. At least that’s the way I read it and answered it. It’s actually one of the most common questions I get. If we create our own realities, then why do we die at all? Why would anyone ever choose to die? Or why do tragedies happen? Or why is there pain and suffering? People who are exploring LOA just want to make sense of these questions, because when we understand how we could’ve possibly created such events, we can do our best to create something else instead.

Can we avoid death? Practically speaking, not so much at this time. Does death have to be a horrific experience? No. Is it often? Yes. Is there value in understanding the difference? I believe so, yes.

Did I answer your questions?

Huge hugs,
Melody
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Z September 1, 2012 at 03:57

“On top of that, I do not declare that the boy suffered because he did something “wrong”

Implications to the contary:

“Did he not use his will?”

“The more public a death, the more people share in the experience, the more of a co-creation it was.”

I don’t think people want to co-create children dying of infections, people having months of chemo or people dying of aids.

EXACTLY on not being about a child of anyone on this blog. Who are we to talk about someone elses’ son?
That’s the issue..you think my beef is with death or my ignorance about death. It’s about the pain of this little boy.
You are perceptive, so I’m sure you knew that.

(Anyway… I really hope there isn’t much censorship. It’s pointless when you think about it seeing what you think is a threat might be a pat on the back for someone else out there thinking the same thing.)

Back to the point:

With your mention of coaching & first class— EXACTLY (far out!) :-) That’s what I’m try to say with death.
Why are we being complacent about a painful death when you are not complacent about your clients?

Yes your clients pay for first class and people that die (perfectly/in harmony/all is well)
or suffer are not in your sphere. I still this it’s nasty to be complacent about them just because they are not a client.

What you are saying implies this and it’s pretty off. These are no my words but your own.
You basically handed me the fodder when you say that this death is perfect yet you can coach people into first class.

I don’t understand how you can’t see how distressing that is?

I feel like that breaks the house rules of loving human beings!

Death was never the source of anger. The disrespect oif the little boy is.

I hope that was a lot more clear and blunt.

Melody Fletcher September 2, 2012 at 18:17

Hey Z,

“The more public a death, the more people share in the experience, the more of a co-creation it was.”

I’m glad I get a chance to explain t his further, as I think a lot of people misunderstand co-creation. Those who experience a death do not create the death. You cannot cause someone else to die. But how you experience the death of another is YOUR creation. It’s not the death you created, but your experience of it. When a death is public, it offers others the opportunity to share in it, and have their own, personal experience of it.

Of course no one wants anyone to die. And making peace with death is not the same as wanting others to die. It’s not about swinging from one extreme (fear of death) to the other (wanting death). It’s about finding the balance between the two – reverence for life and an acceptance of death.

You’re right. We cannot talk about someone else’s son. That’s why I didn’t attempt to explain what exactly was going on in this boy’s experience. This is a theoretical discussion, prompted by the experience the person who asked the question. My answer was geared towards that person, not to the boy. I can only ever speak to the perspective of the person who is asking and in that moment, that’s all that’s relevant. Your experience is the only one you can ever truly understand. And so, when you seek greater understanding, it must be from the perspective of your experience.

I would not say that I am complacent about death. I’ve stopped pushing against it and I’ve made my peace with it. When someone close to me dies, I still grieve. But I have gained a very different perspective, one that feels much better to me. Again, I strive for balance. And I make no distinction in my approach to those who are my clients and those who are not. The main difference between the two is that my clients get more assistance from me. But everything I offer on this blog and site, the hundreds of posts and articles and videos and audios, are all geared toward spreading this message – that there is a first class and that everyone can get in, if they so choose. And, that it is a choice.

And, I’m not the only one teaching this. People everywhere are waking up to it. They are coming to their clarity through teachers like me or simply through their own realizations.

I would never say that those who die or suffer are not in my sphere. In fact, I’m saying the exact opposite of that. The goal is not to avoid death, and death is not a sign of some kind of failure. It’s a natural part of life. We all suffer to varying degrees, but it is possible to release a lot of that suffering by adopting deliberate perspectives. I do my best to teach that here, as do many others.

I’m sorry that you felt that this little boy was disrespected. This was never my intention and I see it very differently. I do not think that suffering over this death somehow shows him more respect. In fact, tapping into his light, the light that still shines and always will, respects who he really is. Seeing his suffering as part of his personal journey and not as some useless, senseless tragedy honors his perfection and innate wisdom (who are we to judge the validity of his journey?). I am in no way saying that his suffering was deserved or that I want people to suffer (again, I’m actually stating the opposite), but if and when suffering happens, it also has a purpose. It is not useless or senseless. Nothing is. Not even death.

I realize that death is a very difficult subject, one that brings up incredible amounts of resistance. If my perspective doesn’t bring you any relief, that’s ok. It’s offered freely to be accepted or not. It’s your choice. and hopefully, in the process of dissecting why my point of view doesn’t fit for you, you’ve been able to attain more clarity about what does. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Z September 3, 2012 at 03:08

You don’t understand.

You are stubborn and a little bit likes the sound of your own teaching voice..Am I right? ;-)

…Again… as I said DEATH is not the problem. SUFFERING is. But you filtered that part out excitedly wanting to explain more about death.

“you think my beef is with death or my ignorance about death. It’s about the pain of this little boy.”-Z

*sigh*

and again

“Death was never the source of anger.”-Z

Yet on and on about death and how I don’t get it…

I question suffering. PAINFUL & loooong routes to death.

Melody Fletcher September 3, 2012 at 17:09

Hey Z,

I addressed suffering AND death in my reply. In the context of this post, they are intertwined and my answers pertain equally to both.

It’s not my intention to be stubborn, I’m simply holding to my point of view. I’m sorry that my words don’t seem to be giving you the answer that you’re looking for. All I can do is offer my perspective.

Melody

anny September 3, 2012 at 16:37

Hi Melody,

After some weeks away from the computer I was browsing through your new blog posts and this one was coming a bit close to me since weeks ago I was diagnosed with a bacterial infection and no antibiotic seemed to help. I already experienced this with my mother so I pretty well understood the possibility if not probability of death in the near future which kind of changes your perspective on things. Although on the one hand I could welcome this quite calmly as indeed I am not afraid of death, there was also another side of me which felt differently. It is difficult to leave your loved ones although of course you do not really leave them but the nature of the relationship would certainly change and also there is the part of suffering before dying which I was not exactly looking forward to. It kind of relates to what Z is saying although I certainly would not say that you do not understand. It also relates to something Alice wrote in a comment in one of the earlier recent blogs: I know everything but bringing it into your experience is something else again.

It was interesting to kind of watch all these conflicting emotions from outside as it were.

At the end of last week it turned out that I do not have a bacterial infection after all so I will probably stick around a bit longer. Whatever I do have is not clear yet but I’ll wait and see. Whatever it is, it already has brought me more insight.

Love,

Anny

Melody Fletcher September 3, 2012 at 17:16

My dearest Anny,

What an incredibly powerful experience! Nothing will make you face mortality issues more than facing your own possible death. I’m really glad you’re not leaving us yet, though. I love our interactions too much. :)

When we are in the middle of an experience, it can be so difficult to figure out what is really going one. Our emotions, while helpful guides, can also make it nearly impossible to gain clarity, especially when they’re strong. Then, it can all seem senseless. But it isn’t. You now have the rare opportunity to go back and look at your reaction to your own dying process without the added trigger of actually being in it anymore. I would imagine this may be the hardest work you’ve ever done on yourself, but also that the rewards will be phenomenal.

You’re not done here yet! :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Jasmine January 22, 2013 at 08:33

Melody,

THANK YOU!!! When I was reading, I agreed with each word you wrote there, because it makes perfectly sense. I learned sometimes last year, that you have to allow someone else to die no matter what. When it’s their time, let them go, whether you like it or not. Guess where I learned about it from? FROM Conversations with God part one!! After that, my perspective on death changed, even though there were a few limiting beliefs. But they’re all almost gone. That book just opened my eyes! Everything makes so freakin’ sense, like you’d say! I was so elated!! I remember reading through book, and I was thinking, “Whoa, this sounds kinda like LOA.” and then I kept reading, the answer was right thereeeeee. LOA LOA LOA, Jasmine!

And now, few months later, after reading some more of your blog posts, I decided to check this out, and I am glad I did! You see, I wanna be a writer myself, and YOU inspired an idea for me to write about DEATH. THANK YOU, THANK YOU! It’s just an idea, soon it’ll be more than just an idea. Thanks again!

Jasmine

Melody Fletcher January 30, 2013 at 21:23

Hey Jasmine,

Conversations with God is one of my all time favorite books. It represented a huge part of my journey, as well. I’m so glad you found clarity through it and this blog.

When you finish your book/article/blog post, why not let me know and maybe we can link to it here? Can’t wait to read it. :)

Huge hugs,

Melody
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TC April 25, 2013 at 22:46

Melody,

Thanks for this post. It has brought comfort and new understandings about death’s process and its place in the universal fabric.

A peer that graduated with my class recently died of an overdose. He was one of those students who was in varsity sports and excelled intellectually in high school. For some reason, I am experiencing resistance surrounding his death and yet I wasn’t a close friend or anything like that. Why would I be shaken about his death at this level? I admired him and all, but I didn’t think I would react quite the way I did.

I hope to find out what root belief is causing this resistance. It would be nice to come to terms with it and not view death as a tragedy, but simply a shift in energy and evolution. Thanks again for your insights!

Hugs,
TC

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