Why You Could Have Everything And Still Not Be Happy

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by Melody Fletcher on August 14, 2012

 

Nay asks, “How do you manifest unhappiness, or discontent when you don’t know what is making you unhappy? You’ve attracted everything you thought you wanted, but you just don’t seem to be finding the joy or happiness you thought you would. You have the spouse, the kids, the house, the neighborhood, got rid of the job you hate, done so many things, you name it, but you’re not content or happy. And I know ‘things’ don’t make you happy, so what’s missing?

How do you manifest unhappiness when you don’t know why you’re unhappy, or even feel as though you’re focusing on it? How do you manifest something when you aren’t focused on it?”

This is such an excellent question. It will allow me to explore two really big concepts

Is it possible to be focused negatively without knowing it?

First, I’d like to answer the question, can we be negatively focused on something and not even know it? Can we be manifesting unwanted things (that make us feel unhappy) into our experience and not know how we’re doing it?

The answer to that is a big, fat, hairy YES. Of course we can. In fact, that’s what most people are doing all day long. “But, isn’t that just because they’re unaware that their thoughts and vibration create their reality? Is it still possible to not know what you’re really focused on when you get how reality creation actually works?”, I can hear you asking. Again, that would be a big, fat, hairy YES (I’ve used all CAPS, so you know I really mean it).

Habitual beliefs can blend into the background

Many of our beliefs have been with us since our early childhood, and many more were picked up vibrationally at birth. We didn’t actually personally form every one of our beliefs ourselves. Many were handed down to us by our families and society as a whole. And we didn’t have to be taught to think this way with words or by example – we mostly soaked up the frequencies of the beliefs around us like little sponges. This is why a totally modern woman with a great job and a closet filled with power suits can turn into a sobbing mess when her household isn’t perfect. She may not consciously believe that a woman’s main purpose is to keep her house, but an old, antiquated belief system can still be running the show underneath the surface.

When a belief has been with you for many, many years, you often have no idea that it’s there until it manifests. Even the negative emotions it’s causing go undetected – they’ve been with you for years, too. You’re so used to them, you simply can’t discern them anymore. But, as always happens with resistance, if a negative belief is being triggered and you ignore the manifestation of it (which is negative emotion in the first stages), it will manifest in a bigger, grander, louder and more in your face way until it gets your attention.

How do you think illnesses come about? No one is aware of the fact that they’re manifesting something unwanted and then ignores it on purpose until it causes a big, head shaped tumor to sprout of out of the side of their necks. The head shaped tumor is the red flag that finally manages to get their attention. “Yoohoo!”, it’s yelling (possibly literally). “You’ve got something in your vibration that’s not serving you, dahling! Look at me! Do you want this? No? Well, snap out of it, girlfriend!” (For some reason, in my head, the head shaped tumor talks like a campy gay man. Don’t judge me.)

Look at your manifestations

So, if you can’t tell that you have resistance, how are you supposed to release it? Well, you can always just look at your reality. Everything in it is a mirror to your vibration. Is there a lot of stuff that you don’t want? That’s an indicator that you’re focusing in a way (again, often without knowing it) that isn’t serving you. If there’s lots of stuff that you do like, then you’re spending the majority of your time focused in a way that feels good. So, even if you’re not sure what it is that you’re focused upon that’s causing you to manifest the unwanted stuff, you can simply look at what you’re receiving and then determine what you’d like to receive instead. Then, focus all your attention on that. Any resistance you have toward that particular goal will present itself. You’ll either feel it emotionally, or, if that’s too subtle, it will manifest in a specific way. It will be the perfect mirror to your belief, as well as the perfect way for you to overcome that belief. I’ll explore this concept further in another blog post.

But Nay wasn’t really asking about getting rid of a huge, unwanted manifestation, as much as why we might still not be totally happy despite seemingly having all we want. This brings me to my second point, which is WAY more awesome than the first. Seriously, you’ll be glad that you kept reading.

The Great Awakening

So many people are now waking up to the fact that they’re not really happy (which is not necessarily the same thing as being unhappy). It’s not that people are less happy than they used to be, it’s that more and more of us are realizing, perhaps for the first time ever, how NOT happy we are. And we’re becoming less and less tolerant to that lack of joy. This is what the great awakening that we’re going through as a Universe is all about – we’re remembering Who We Really Are, how much fun this is supposed to be, and how good we can actually feel, and we’re no longer willing to settle for less.

So, the question is really less about how we’re manifesting unhappiness and more about how we’re NOT manifesting happiness.

You’ve attracted everything you thought you wanted

First of all, it has to be said that what most people think they want and what they actually want are almost never the same thing. What we think we want is usually a result of years and years of conditioning by our parents, teachers, friends, bosses, the media and society in general. We get told that if we get an education and a good job and a house and a spouse, a couple of kids, a new car and a dog, that we’ll be happy. And then we get all of those things, and happiness still eludes us. What the hell, Universe?

Here’s the thing: They done lied to you, son. None of those things guarantees happiness, nor does lack of them guarantee that you’ll die a miserable, shriveled husk of your former self (single ladies over 40, I’m talking to you!) Don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to tell you to abandon your hubby in the desert, sell the kids on the black market and buy a Ferrari. While being married with kids and having a life with all the trimmings can’t automatically make you happy, it also can’t automatically make you unhappy. What I’m saying is, all the things you thought were going to make you happy, never had the power to do so. It’s time to rethink the concept of happiness and how we achieve it.

What happiness actually is

Happiness, like all emotions, is an indicator that tells you how aligned you are with the energy of Who You Really Are. To put it another way, Who You Really Are, the non-physical you, has a certain perspective. And the closer you (human you) are to sharing that perspective, the better you feel. This has always been the case, of course. Only, never before in the history of our physical world have we been more aware of these indicators, or less tolerant of not being aligned with our true selves. Because the Global Vibration is always rising and moving faster and faster, we feel it more acutely than ever when we’re not aligned – we’re more sensitive to our misalignment. We have also never wanted happiness as intensely as we want it now, which makes it all the more painful when we’re not quite there.

What are you not expressing?

So, when you aren’t happy, it’s because you’re not fully aligned with the perspective of Who You Really Are. And when you become aware of this lack of happiness, it means that you have the ability to express more of your true self, but you’re not doing it.

In my experience, when someone is suffering from a general sense of dissatisfaction or emptiness, it’s always because they have a pretty insidious case of denial. There’s something they really, really want that they’re not allowing themselves to think about, because for whatever reason, they don’t think they can do it or have it. They’ve been inspired to express Who They Really Are in some way, something that would bring them incredible joy, and they’re not letting themselves go there. Perhaps it’s a business idea that could be seen as risky, or a hobby that they don’t think their friends will approve of, the desire to travel (in this economy!! Gawd forbid!), to create art in some way (be sensible!), or simply to be sillier and play more (oh, grow up!).

When we begin to remember Who We Really Are, and we line up with that perspective, we’re inspired to express that version of ourselves in various ways. Some of those ways can seem scary. They may involve showing others who we’ve evolved into, and we’re not sure that they’ll approve. They may require us to be truly authentic and strip away the layers of fear that we’ve been carrying around like a defensive shield for most of our lives. And when we let fear win, when we stop ourselves from following our inspiration and we continue to hide away our warm, gooey center, and when we make fitting in and being approved of by society (largely made up people we don’t even know) more important than feeling good, we block ourselves from feeling really happy.

Figuring out what you’re in denial about

Is it possible for you to be in denial and not know it? Yes. That may seem like a stupid question, but you wouldn’t believe how many people say something like “If I was suppressing something, I’d know it”, when confronted with the idea that they may not be being totally honest with themselves. Your fear of ridicule or failure or whatever is keeping you from going for what you truly want, may be so strong that it’s blocking off the desire altogether. This is because wanting something and believing that you can’t have it is painful and we often mistakenly believe that if we stop wanting, that the pain will go away. And so, we build a wall around our desire and block it until we forget it’s even there. If only there wasn’t that nagging sense of emptiness or that missing feeling of joy to keep reminding us.

It’s usually that pipedream that we gave up long ago, something that we’ve deemed “ridiculous” or “unrealistic”. But it’s also the perfect way for us to express Who We Really Are. It’s that activity that fills us with more joy than we can really convey with words. That feeling we get when we’re totally in the flow, full of the knowledge that we can do anything we want, when anything and everything seems possible, when the world is on our side. Any outlet that makes us feel like that can’t be ignored without consequences.

Proving yet again that the Universe brings everything together with perfect timing, I’ve been inspired to write this post shortly after receiving the impulse to create a Workbook on How to Find Your Purpose. The processes and exercises in that workbook are perfectly suited for figuring out your passion, no matter what it is. In case you haven’t downloaded it yet, you can read the post on how to find your purpose here. The workbook is totally free. Because I’m super nice like that. ;)

Now it’s your turn. Are you ready to express more of Who You Really Are? What gives you joy? What are you passionate about? What have you not been expressing (note, talking about it here would be a great way to start expressing it…)

 

{ 60 comments }

Ani August 14, 2012 at 19:50

I recently wrote a post about how my subconscious fear attracted a really terrible situation into my life. Realizing that the law of attraction works on all levels and going from there makes a huge difference in how we are able to experience happiness.
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Melody Fletcher August 15, 2012 at 00:45

Understanding how it all works is hugely empowering, isn’t it Ani? Then, even the “negative” stuff makes sense. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Todd Shelton August 14, 2012 at 20:00

Happiness, like misery, is a decision, usually made habitually.

Melody Fletcher August 15, 2012 at 00:46

So true Todd! And it can actually be a difficult decision to make that first time. But once made, it gets easier to re-choose that option over and over again. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Alice August 15, 2012 at 03:39

You can choose to be happy. but it’s not that easy. This is said by people that don’t have severe depression.

S August 15, 2012 at 07:18

@melody…
how DO people get severe depression? hows it connected to emptiness?

Alanna August 14, 2012 at 20:03

Wow, super on point. And right where I’m at in this moment. I don’t think I’m in denial to myself about how I feel and a transition I want to make but I do feel the pressure of it not being okay with the people around me or that it has to look a certain way or that my desire to quit will negatively impact people i’m working with. So maybe it still counts as denial because it’s not freely expressed? But I guess some situations don’t feel “safe” (emotionally or financially) to do so. Haha, lots of limiting beliefs to work on, I know.

Melody Fletcher August 15, 2012 at 00:44

Hey Alanna,
It doesn’t sound like you’re in denial, really, if you’re aware of how you’re feeling. You’re just still struggling with the fear of it. It’s a process, and you don’t have to overcome it in a day. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Kat August 14, 2012 at 20:16

Melody,

What an uplifting post I needed so much today! The happiest people I know are the ones that march to the rhythm of their own drum, not the one created by the populace. One of these people is you!

As my deep understanding of this material increases, I see what the point is and what we need to be striving for, not only for our own good, but for the global stream as well. Because as individual vibrations rise, so will the overall vibration. This world would be a much better place, which is what we set out to do, but need to be reminded of at times.

Melody Fletcher August 15, 2012 at 00:48

Hey Kat,

You’re so very welcome. And thanks for your comment. :)

I realized as I was writing this post that I’ve been really focused on writing about releasing resistance. I’m going to focus a bit more on aligning with Who We Really Are from now on. That just feels so good! Releasing resistance is important, but it’s not the main event, is it…

Huge hugs!!
Melody
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Alice August 15, 2012 at 03:44

You still never explained how to release that resistance! :-) Not in an easy straightforward way that the people that didn’t get the original explanations could understand and do for themselves.
In a way that doesn’t require purchasing coaching calls or listening to a 1hr convoltuted conversation.

Some people need it spelled out. This is one area in life where the “intelligent” label I normally get can go in the bin.

Pretend you are talking to a mentally retarded person or very small child. Tell me simply and slooowly.

:-)

S August 15, 2012 at 07:27

@ alice.. well, technically, you release resistance by going layer by layer into your thought pattern..you ask yourself ‘why’ you want something and ‘why’ it feels bad/good ;and then going to the core of the belief thats making you feel bad. then you rework on the belief..reprogram it so much by reasserting the new one to yourself again and again till it works for you at the subconscious level.

all the ‘general’ info about releasing resistance IS right here on her blog ALONG with examples (the one about the girl releasing resistance to her old boyfreind verbally attacking her in front of other people is a good example of that)that you dont have to pay for. for the record, i myself havent purchased a single coaching package or done the whole call bit meself :)

Alice August 15, 2012 at 08:14

Thanks S. I like you.

Sadly I have read every-single-one of Melodys’ blogs and this method doesn’t make sense to me.

There are some private problems where you just can’t fix it like that.

I am a very deep person, so I always overthink things and ask “why” and often the answer is not that obvious, has no answer or just brings up more questions.

Also all the problems I have been there for many years and all tangled up together.

These are not ordinary problems either. They are quite severe on level of homelessness.

Very big and complicated things all woven into each other. One thing has caused another and another.

The root is not clear at all. :-(

The problems are not “so and so did this bad things to me, how do I fix this?”

They are very complicated. Origins are often unknown or shared with another part of the jigsaw puzzle.

S August 15, 2012 at 08:34

@alice ..

strange thing is, i was just RANDOMLY was reading another post of melodys, and saw u mention your age and being depressed just ten mins back in that posts comment ( assuming you ARE the same ‘alice’ tht posted tht )

also am not going to give you a cliched ‘feel better’ msg and rave about the power of positive thinking cuz i KNOW it dosen click when ur severely depressed. ive been there myself. im assuming youl find your way out of your own personal hell soon enough :)

but do reread this blog. it makes sense, even though the logic about things might take time to percolate in cuz it seems too ‘random’ at first glance. just saying.

take care.

Alice August 16, 2012 at 03:26

Hey S,

*sigh* I do nothing but read this blog. I don’t work, I don’t have human contact most of the time and I barely go outside.

Believe I have read it inside and out.

I have more things I need help with but there’s no forum where I could talk more privately.

It’s bad enough the comments I have on here.

Melody Fletcher August 16, 2012 at 00:20

Hey Alice,

I actually do almost nothing but explain it. The simplest way I can put it is this: Choose a better feeling thought. That’s it, really. The trick is finding the better feeling thought. For you, that would most likely be an angry thought (not angry at yourself). You have to be willing to actually give it a try, instead of intellectualizing why it won’t work for you. And this will happen, in time, one way or another. I’m certain of it.

This has nothing to do with intelligence by the way. It’s about the emotions and letting yourself feel them.

Huge hugs!

Melody
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S August 17, 2012 at 16:09

@ alice.
like melody says ‘ The simplest way I can put it is this: Choose a better feeling thought. That’s it, really’

that IS it.
you have to choose a better feeling thought EVEN though you may feel like ur deluding urself for some time in the beginning. please do read melodys post on the difference between denial and deliberate alignment towards happiness :)

Alice December 21, 2012 at 11:51

Did you find out what you wanted yet?

I am finding what is getting me dragged down, is that I have no idea what I want.
So I get motivated, but don’t have anything to look forward to, because I don’t know what i want.

What do you want?

mopeychild December 21, 2012 at 13:46

hey. ‘S’ is me and i am ‘S’ :) i changed names midway

and no, im still not too clear about what i want. i wanna be happy though. thats the most important thing. ever. so i learn how to do just that. but i wanna be happy without ‘settling’ and purposely putting on rose colored glasses. :-/
how? thas the question !

Laura August 14, 2012 at 22:13

Inspirational and motivational for starters. It really is sad that so many ppl are afraid to show their true authentic creative selves and side. The world is going without because of such fear.

“Oh it’s too different. People won’t like it, read it, watch it, appreciate it or AGREE with it.” There’s the big one for me. So afraid of what someone else will think. It’s what’s kept me down for a long time. Still gets me but I’m working through it. Sometimes you just have to get angry (sort of)…it’s more of an attitude of “Enough already, I’m going to run straight at that wall (fear) and barrel it the heck down. And whatever anyone else thinks, well, that’s their problem. I don’t live my life for them.”

Whatever you got hiding inside, it could be something that someone else needs to hear, see or get.

As for the subconscious denial. Absolutely agree. There are plenty of writers, artists, musicians and other talented ppl who grew up with messages if not being blatantly told that doing such a thing won’t earn you a living. It’s not safe and secure. Get a degree in such and such or this or that. That way you’ll have something to raise a family on or something to fall back on. Those messages are loud and clear and even if we didn’t consciously hear them, they penetrate, even without us knowing it.

I love to write. I also love to talk. But I allowed my intention of becoming a writer become dowsed. I was told in my first semester of college that I sucked. Well, the teacher didn’t use that word, but the first paper I wrote I got a C on it. This after being a star English student and paper writer in high school, at least most of the time. So I took it in apparently and pretty much stopped writing, except for my own eyes after that and once in a while a poem I wrote for someone…but that’s another story.:)

Thanks for the post Mel…loved it as usual.
Hugs.
L

Melody Fletcher August 15, 2012 at 00:51

Hey Laura,

It’s never too late to start! It’s never to late to let your passion out. That’s the beauty of this Universe. We really don’t run out of time to do stuff. I haven’t gone bungee jumping yet. Doesn’t mean I won’t… He, he.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Elle August 14, 2012 at 22:19

No co-incidence Melody, I’m writing about the same stuff, different perspective, today and here you are yet again, right in my head!

Watching the Scorcese movie about George Harrison the other night I was struck by him saying that they discovered at a very young age that even though we’re taught to chase money or fame, or ‘stuff’ – that wasn’t what created happiness and so he began a deeper search that lasted all his life, with him continuously evolving along the way.

Very cool stuff M…always love your take on the world.

Elle
xoxo
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Melody Fletcher August 15, 2012 at 00:52

LOL Elle. We’re definitely on the same wavelength, chica. I love it when crap like that happens!

Sending you huge happy shiny puppy hugs!

Melody
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Aire August 14, 2012 at 23:40

Hi Melody!

Great post. Lately this is EXACETELY what i have been thinking! so, as always in these situations, I said to myself “lets go and see what new blog post has Melody written.. before i get my thoughts in a total despare!”lol. Of course you have done it again- the topic is exacetely what I needed to read. Pretty amazing. Big thank you.

My problem is the fear..these countless “what if’s”.. I am working in an office and although it is nice company and nice people and I am good in my job, it really isn’t what is making me happy. A career bath change from office building to self employed artist person has crossed my mind, but the thoughts like not being talented enough, not being successful or educated enough or, or or…..just keep crossing my mind. And yet- in the end of the day, what I DO know is that when I am creating something with my 2 own hands IS what is making me happy so I will check out your workbook out next! Thank you :) Aire

Melody Fletcher August 15, 2012 at 00:53

Thanks Aire,

If you have that many doubts, I would say, concentrate on doing something that makes you feel great and don’t worry about it making money or anything like that. Just do it for the joy. The ideas on how to make that bigger will come if you stay in that space regularly. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Josie August 14, 2012 at 23:50

Hi Melody,

On this journey and at times, it feels like I’m on a roller coaster ride that swoops through the jungle then back out to the the open blue sky that meets the ocean which feels like abundant freedom and eternal love and then back into the jungle, dodging those ferns and big old trees in the dark. The jungle are moments of fear and amnesia where I forget who I am. I can get frightening but there is also beauty in there as well. I wake up to that when I think of it as fear and (“think” of it as fear) BUT its my thinking that views it as fear and misses the beauty of the green ferns and big trees of wisdom and experiences. I can love that too! Unhappiness is perceived! So if I love what I have, every moment is met with just that. Nothing is really missing in that moment. I’m happy in the jungle and I’m happy when I meet the blue sky and ocean. AMATI FATI – LOVE WHAT YOU HAVE! I’m a work in progress ( ohhh yeh… One thing we all have in common) but Loving what is makes more sense and feels pain free than looking for happiness which creates, in my experience lots of discomfort on the search which seems like it never comes or if it does BAM it’s gone again. I could go on forever here!

Thanks Melody for this exploration!

Josie :-)

Melody Fletcher August 15, 2012 at 00:55

I love this description Josie! My heart did a little skip of joy when I read it. Thank you my dahling!

Super happy shiny puppy hugs!

Melody
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Josie August 15, 2012 at 01:06

I’m new to blogging… But I’m learning… I’ll reply now that I’ve realized to the reply :-)

SWEEEEET!

Nay August 15, 2012 at 07:34

So awesome Josie!

I read your post after I commented below, and just grinned. You said it so much better than I did.

‘…loving what is makes more sense…than looking for happiness.’

I was always looking for it and it definitely created lots of discomfort and got worse when it did the disappearing act.

Thanks for such clarity!

Josie August 15, 2012 at 23:04

Hi Nay,

Yep every moment is that moment “which is” and when I enjoy that what is I feel amazing. Sometimes it happens that it feel like its too good to be true and thats the mind finding it opportunity to convince me otherwise. I am learning not to argue with it because that’s what it wants, justification. And guess what, the mind wins. I simply now practice to stop and question ” Is this true?” and look around and am grateful again.

Work in progress Nay and loving your work :-)

Josie

Josie August 15, 2012 at 01:04

You bring the “ness” to sweetness! That feel good thing…. I’m feeling it!

Your topics or lets say reminders are so mirroring back what I’m ready to see, hear and do!

Million trillion puppy hugs…. Oh I just adopted a PUPPY and will come and live with me in 10 more sleeps…Oh she is cute and will be only 8 weeks old. It’s all those puppy hugs you have been dishing out Melody… I’m loving them…. I’m soooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Melody Fletcher August 16, 2012 at 00:23

Congrats Josie! Gotta love the puppy hugs (literally! Ha!)

And thank you so much for your kind words. It’s your manifestation though, you know. So all the credit really goes to you. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Josie August 16, 2012 at 02:17

Shit yeh, how absolutely true…. And a bonus I get to see you guys in my reality…
FANTASTIC..

Loving what Is True!!!!!!!!!!!

Xxxxxxxx

Nay August 15, 2012 at 06:52

Ahh Melody!!

So much info, so dead on the mark! I’ve been out of touch for about week, so haven’t been keeping up, and I come back to this. Just wonderful!

Yep, this issue still raises it’s ugly head for me and I’m still working on it, but with my raised vibration since finding this blog, I’m not nearly as DOWN as I was. As you clearly stated, it’s a deep denial that I am still having a hard time finding. Probably because I have done many, many things in life, but none of them rang true. And even some things that I thought were ‘all me’ ended up falling flat after a short amount of time.

I now realize I may have sabotaged myself even when doing things I envisioned, because I was so unhappy with my life and work. My job was ever changing, usually unexpectedly, and rarely in a way that felt good for me. Exactly like you talked about when you were training someone when you weren’t even fully trained, and not having all the answers. I was almost always in that position because my job changed at a minimum every 2 years, and sometimes hit up to 4 changes in 2 years. And of course this entailed the ‘learn while you burn,’ system while trying to train and supervise others. I just always felt inadequate and behind in that situation. And I learned to not like what I was doing, because I felt so miserable while trying to catch up, keep up, and get others up to speed, and never really getting there before it was time to start over, again.

And I was caught up in this for about 15 years of a 21 year career. And worse, it was by my choice! Yet I hated it and where I was in life throughout most of it. And still I always told myself; ‘This is what you chose, look at all you’ve done, and you have everything you want, so what the hell is wrong with you!’ Which did not help!

So I force fed myself denial for a long time. I denied myself the choice to say no, and I also forced myself to always put on a happy face and pretend that I was happy, even while obsessively going through self help books at home trying to figure out why I was unhappy. And at home was where I would just crash, shut down, and read my books so I could escape. And imagine how well I handled any other pressure from home, which is a whole different story in itself. Is it obvious I was in denial, and not handling it well?

And yep, it continued after I got rid of the job, which was just so frustrating! And I see now, a lot of it was just plain habit, while the rest was the struggle of, ‘Well, now you’re free to figure out what you want, so get to it! Come on, figure it out already. What’s wrong with you? You should be happy now!’

We so often do what we think we’re ‘supposed to’, and stuff down anything that doesn’t fit into that ‘supposed to’ world we’ve built up in our minds. And all the while, we’re denying ourselves not just the chance to find things we truly love, but more importantly the DESIRE to look. We bury that spark of hope because we lose interest, feel that sense of general discontent, and just decide that’s just the way it is, even while that inner voice is screaming at you to WAKE THE HELL UP! But we keep plodding along, because if we let go of what we’ve spent all this time working for, we feel we’ve failed.

But now I hear a lot of those little voices that I chose to ignore or didn’t even notice before. Like; ‘You’re too old, it’s too late, this is what you said you wanted, what will people think if you try something stupid, what if you fail, what if you never feel that leap of excitement for anything?’ All these little voices, that so clearly point out deep seated beliefs about what I can and can’t do, what I should and shouldn’t so. The perfect little arrows pointing out what is stopping me from truly just enjoying life! And I work on it regular. As you have stated time and time again, it takes practice, because new habits take time to implement to a point where you get good at them.

And before I leave off of my epic saga, I have to say it was sooooo, soooo important for me to get to a better place first. I had to raise my vibration before I could see any improvement in this area. I was just generally unhappy, with no idea which direction to go in order to figure out why. I didn’t know why or how it was possible, just knew that I was. So I had to get out of that funk. I had to start with the general. Start with the simple things. I couldn’t focus on anything specific at first, because I couldn’t find a good feeling about my general happiness. Whenever I tried to focus on the question, ‘Why am I not happy?’ I would just dive down deeper into the dumps.

So I went general, let go of trying to figure out what ‘one thing’ was going to make me happy, and started looking at what things made me smile. What things in my life, right now, make me smile. I quit asking ‘What do I have to do to be happy?’! I had already done and done and done, so I needed to quit doing/working at ‘finding’ happiness. I needed to look at what was already around me and figure out what I truly liked/appreciated. And I still work on this daily. Because it’s not habit. I haven’t gotten to the deep beliefs, or figured out what I’ve been denying myself, but I’m better than I was. And tomorrow I’ll be better than I am today.

I’m a work in progress!
As always, thank you Melody!

Melody Fletcher August 16, 2012 at 00:31

Hey Nay!

Wow. Epic comment! :) Your journey and mine have a lot in common. I nearly killed myself for work I didn’t really care about on several occasions, until I finally woke up to the fact that this wasn’t at all necessary. I can now see how ever step along the way I was led to the clarity that I was able to receive. I didn’t realize it, but I was always moving toward what I wanted. I just released resistance the hard way – by letting it get so big and ugly that I had no choice but to give it up. But one day, the penny dropped. I realized I was supposed to be happy. Not only that, but happiness was possible. Along that journey, it’s become clear that the more we fight, the harder life gets. The easy road is one where we allow and let go, which is so counterintuitive for most of us. But it works. Relax, breathe, allow. Rinse and repeat. :)

Thanks for your awesome question and for sharing your wonderful story here. Keep up the great work! You’ve come so far! :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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S August 17, 2012 at 16:20

i have a tiny question melody !

right in the beginning when i try to change my line of thought from negative to positive, it WILL feel a bit like denial right? the transisition phase i mean.
i ought to consider that and wait for a while before labelling my feelings as denial or deliberate alignment right?

Melody Fletcher August 18, 2012 at 00:28

Hey S,

It’s not denial if you actually feel the shift and feel better. Also, if you’re doing it deliberately. Denial is not voluntary. You think you’re feeling one way, when you’re not.

When you are aware of your feelings you can’t be in denial. What you’re describing is deliberate and aware. You’re fine. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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s August 18, 2012 at 07:03

I have another question.

What if I’ve been thru a breakup, and. Have lost touch with my ex cuz he dint want me in his life. And the thought of him being with some other girl is so painful that I can’t even think it cuz thinking it is plain agony in itself. So I don’t think about it and try and focus on happioer thoughts and I try to think of happioer tiomes with him ( not cuz I specifically wat I specifically want him back (although ues, gettiong him back feels so much less painful right now) but I wanna think of how a lovely relayionship feels like)
Does that count as denial or deliberate alignment into feeling better?

Melody Fletcher August 18, 2012 at 16:09

Hey S,

That would count as deliberately trying to align, but you’re not going to get there like that. Here’s why: You’re in the middle of your grieving period right now. The whole thing feels devastating. You can’t sit in the middle of that and try to think happy thoughts. It’s ok to wallow in your pain for just a little bit. Be really kind to yourself right now. Find other ways, on different subjects, to feel better. Don’t try to drag this one into a happy place right now. You need to give it a bit more time.

And when the pain comes, acknowledge it. This is how you feel right now, and trying to pretend like you feel better when you actually don’t doesn’t help. That’s denial. So, change the subject as much as you can so that you can feel better and leave this subject alone as much as possible for just a bit. Don’t torture yourself with thoughts of him being with another girl. The time will come in a few days or weeks when you’ll be able to reach for better feeling thoughts (which may actually be anger towards him…)

I hope that’s helpful.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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s August 18, 2012 at 18:02

Well actually..speaking froma realistic pov..this happned months back..five o r so..and sometimes I’m forgiveness, sometimes I’m anger, sometimes I’m pure agony once again. The cycle keeps going on and on. I was just wondering what I could be doing wrong. Have read your articles on denial a million times over. And I was still confused. So thought id ask. Why do I keep swinging back and forth tho. Its been so many months. Half a year or so. I feel helpless, that’s all. Sometimes I even want I’m to be happy. I honestl. Do. But the next moniute I wanna hunt him down and hurt him physically.

s August 18, 2012 at 07:08

Lol !!.Sorry for the ambiguity due to typos and garbled writing. Typing on phone. That’s why H

Nay August 15, 2012 at 07:12

And one more thing! (No, I’m not kidding… ;)

Where you state:
‘And we’re becoming less and less tolerant to that lack of joy. This is what the great awakening that we’re going through as a Universe is all about – we’re remembering Who We Really Are, how much fun this is supposed to be, and how good we can actually feel, and we’re no longer willing to settle for less.’

For years I would talk to my husband and be like’ ‘This can’t be it. This can’t be all there is to life. Go to work, work my butt off, come home, take care of kids, clean house, cook food, do laundry, maybe throw in a vacation that’s more stress than fun because you have to do everything in a week, and then start all over again.’

So I’ve been feeling that awakening. And it hurt like hell when I didn’t understand why I felt that way. And my husband would say, ‘That’s just life. I don’t know what to tell you.’ And all I could think was, ‘Well I call the BS card, because it just does not make sense!’ And now I can see so much more clearly why it didn’t make sense.

So I now pay attention to my BS meter, and ask myself what part of the situation is BS and why. Because of course it’s my BS. :)

Nikky August 15, 2012 at 09:41

Hi Melody,

I am a big fan of your blogs. You make a lot of freakin :0 sense and always do.
I have been following LOA for the last 4 years and have transformed my life inside and outside. So much so I dont even stay in the same country now. That was a huge manifestation as well. Anyway I just wanted to really appreciate your work and your clarity on how LOA works.
Thank you and loads of love your way
Nikky

Melody Fletcher August 16, 2012 at 00:34

Thanks so much Nikky! Your feedback is really appreciated. :)

Moving countries can be a sign of a massive change in vibration, both before the move (you had to shift to accommodate the new location’s vibration) and after (being in the the new location can support a further shift). Each time I’ve changed locations so far, I entered into the next phase of my development. It’s so fascinating to look back and see that. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Tess The Bold Life August 15, 2012 at 15:22

Melody,
I do have everything and some days I don’t feel happy. Then I catch myself and turn that around. When our basic needs are met there is no excuse. Happiness is a state of mine, a choice for me. I love living in a state of gratitude. When I’m not happy, I’m not grateful. Love your photo!
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Melody Fletcher August 16, 2012 at 00:35

Hey Tess,

It’s unrealistic to think that we will be happy 100% of the time. If we’re living life, stuff we don’t like is bound to catch our eye and drag us down a bit. Dropping for a bit is not an issue. What we want to strive for is a quick recovery time and it sounds like you’ve got that one nailed. :)

Huge hugs for you!
Melody
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Kat August 15, 2012 at 15:27

Nay,

I totally hear you, dear. This is the reason some of us in higher education are advocates of bringing philosophy back to the system, because it is more of a requirement for life than other subjects, to tell you the truth. Even if you know math and other things, you need to know how to navigate your life even more. Without those fundamental principles, you end up in very dark places you have difficulty getting out of if you stay too long.

Anyway, you mentioned voices badgering you. You also mentioned the inner voice, the higher one giving you the inspiration. That is the one you should be listening to and following. All the others are from the ego, which serves to protect you from uncertainty, yet that does not mean you should listen to it. You should allow those thoughts to stream by and even thank them for their concern, so they do not torture you too much.

Instead, the other voice of the inner being, would never harrass you, pester you, guilt you out or upset you. It speaks in short sentences of loving truth when it does or can get a word in edgewise from all the torture going on around it. I know this very well because I have been there, as you know. And yes, of course you need to be in a better, higher place to even listen to that, but you are getting there. That is where you need to be and you will be receiving even more messages.

Nay August 15, 2012 at 20:22

Thanks Kat!

Like you said, I’m getting there. The processes Melody explains do work! But it does often take time and practice.

Like what you say about philosophy and navigating life. I have realized I didn’t navigate most of the time. Just made a choice then went with the flow. I didn’t try to steer much after setting the course. Not really the best way. :(

Those voices, as you said, have been there a while, but I never really noticed them. Not until I started using some of the processes. When you ask yourself why something bothers you, or why you don’t like something, or why something set you off, and really listen, then those voices start jumping out at you. And once you hear them, then you can actually start to analyze them. Like whether they make sense or not, why that emotion came up, is that the only emotion, or is there another, and another.

Sometimes you don’t get through at all, sometimes it comes up again, and sometimes it feels like you haven’t accomplished anything but making yourself more angry. But other times…ahh. These are the times when you go through the process, dig deep and answer some of those questions you ask, and that thing that used to really bother you, doesn’t anymore. That’s when you really get excited!!!!

Not as good at hearing that kinder inner voice yet, but I’m not as focused on that either. I’ve always thought I didn’t have any inner voice, or intuition, or gut feelings, or any kind of guidance system inside that could help me. Now I can see I probably learned early to tamp it down, and hopefully can now let it come back out.

Thanks again Kat. Love and truly appreciate your input. :D

Kat August 15, 2012 at 15:40

Tess,

You said it! That is it!!! Like Jack said in the movie “Titanic” as long as there is air in his lungs, the sky is the limit. This is after he saved Rose from jumping off the ship because her life was too smothering. His philosophy was correct! That is what we need to always remember! Thanks!

Mary Carol Moran August 15, 2012 at 19:04

Hi Melody,

Brilliant – purely brilliant! The line that made me stop and pick up my teeth is, “You have the ability to express more of your true self, but you’re not doing it.” Wow. Oh yes. Words to live by.

Thanks for being you! Giant hugs,

Mary Carol
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Melody Fletcher August 16, 2012 at 00:38

Thanks Mary Carol!

Right back atcha lady! Thanks for being you, too. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

s August 16, 2012 at 08:16

How do you think illnesses come about? No one is aware of the fact that they’re manifesting something unwanted and then ignores it on purpose until it causes a big, head shaped tumor to sprout of out of the side of their necks. The head shaped tumor is the red flag that finally manages to get their attention. “Yoohoo!”, it’s yelling (possibly literally). “You’ve got something in your vibration that’s not serving you, dahling! Look at me! Do you want this? No? Well, snap out of it, girlfriend!”

see if i have manifested a disease(and i have really) and i dont know why this happened.
i dont know what is that SOMETHING in my vibration that’s not serving me. then how will i get rid of the disease.(i have the disease with me for almost 10 years). and i still dont know the negative thing which i am focusing on and which made me manifest this disease. how to get rid of that disease.

Melody Fletcher August 16, 2012 at 22:05

Hey S,

I’m actually planning a post on how we manifest illness in the very near future. This is a huge topic and one I can’t really do any kind of justice in the comments here. Stay tuned! :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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s August 18, 2012 at 06:50

Heh. I guess there’s another ‘S’ on the block :)
Me needs to change me username to stop confusing thingses.

Melody Fletcher August 18, 2012 at 16:11

Ah, that was bound to happen sooner or later. Maybe pick another letter? There’s 26 of them, and then people could choose 2 letter combinations. Fictional names are ok, too. LOL. I kind of feel like this blog is a dirty, dirty secret for some of you, he, he, he. I’m ok with that. :P
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Alice December 21, 2012 at 11:54

Yes.

Elena Anne August 16, 2012 at 15:50

Good post. I think many people live their lives thinking ‘if only i had X or Y then i’d be happy’. This is a grave error to make. Life does not work like this. Often X or Y is not something that the person really wants and certainly doesn’t need.
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Melody Fletcher August 16, 2012 at 22:06

Hey Elena,

So true. One of the things that almost every client of mine needs help with is figuring out what they REALLY want.

Huge hugs!
Melody

Alice December 21, 2012 at 11:55

Ok end of the world day, all I’m noticing is the usual, but not able to deny severe depressed felings.

I wanted to sort this all out before end of year:

“There’s something they really, really want that they’re not allowing themselves to think about, because for whatever reason, they don’t think they can do it or have it. They’ve been inspired to express Who They Really Are in some way, something that would bring them incredible joy, and they’re not letting themselves go there. ”

Ok, what is that thing?

Melody Fletcher December 24, 2012 at 15:31

Like I said in another comment, Alice, if you find some way, any way to feel better, the thing you’re looking for will reveal itself. Start looking for the thing that will allow you to feel better, like an answer or a technique, and just choose to feel better using anything that’s available. Fantasize, daydream, play pretend.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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