Animal Abuse – A Law of Attraction Perspective

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by Mary Carol Moran on August 5, 2012

 [Call #008 has been released on the membership site today. The Topic of today's call is: "She Wants a Job That She Can Be Passionate About". Check out the Call Summary.]

I received the following question regarding animal abuse. Because our resident guest author Mary Carol Moran (aka Lady Awesomesauce) deals with dogs every day, I thought she might be in the perfect position to answer this and explain how she shifts her perception when faced with animals in suffering. And I wasn’t disappointed. Here’s Mary Carol:

Jenn asks, “As hard as I try to avoid bad news, specifically about abused dogs, I end up clicking on the link. Then I obsess over the story, feel depression and sadness for the animal and massive anger for the perpetrator. This kinks up my vibe and I’m trying to find a better way to deal. When I read on your blog that there is no judgment (i.e. that these people aren’t going to be punished), I was a bit sad, since that was the way I dealt with it before. By knowing that things eventually even out.

Do animals that end up abused come here with that intention in order to learn something? Or the people that cause this suffering, what is their deal? Can you shed some light on this? Going crazy here. :(

Melody invited me to respond to this reader question, from the perspective of my involvement in animal rescue.

Okay, first a disclaimer. I’m going to use the word ‘abuse’ in this post, even though it’s a loaded, judgmental word. The reader asked about abuse, and for most people this term has a pretty clear connotation. However… big however… there’s no judgment, and therefore there’s also no abuse. There are ‘actions which we from our limited perspective feel are not helpful to the global rising vibration,’ but that would take too much space to write each time. Therefore I’ll use the shorthand of ‘abuse.’

Let’s start with a two step plan for dealing with Internet images.

Step 1: Stop clicking!

This is more important than it seems at first glance. When you click on a link that shows an abused animal, you are giving your energy to the abuse. You are not helping the animal. Your feeling worse will not make anyone feel better. In fact, by clicking through, you are lowering the global vibration by a fraction! No more clicking. Period.

I take this further, and immediately delete anything about abuse. Then if I can, I anonymously block the person who sent it from sending me anything more.

No more encouraging or perpetuating ‘that which we from our limited perspective feel is not helpful to the global rising vibration.’

Step 2: Post a happy animal photo.

If you see an image of abuse, after you delete it, immediately post a happy animal photo. By posting happiness, you raise your own and everyone else’s vibration. You could share a smiling post-adoption photo from your local shelter. You could go to Petfinder and share a HAPPY photo of an available animal in your area. You can search Google images for cute puppies and kittens.

In fact, you don’t need to wait to see something negative. Make a plan to post happy animal photos every time you can. The more happiness you put out there, the fewer sad photos you will allow/attract into your space and into the shared universal space.

In the Real Everyday World

Okay, so now we have no more issues with Internet postings of abuse. We don’t see them, because we don’t give them ANY energy. How do we deal with personal life instances of abuse?

For me, the opposite principle applies. I delete and avoid negative images, because looking at them DOES NO GOOD. In real life, if I see what looks to me like abuse, I do what I can to stop it. The other day I saw some young boys poking a dog with a stick. As abuse goes, it was minor, but better to stop it right now before it has a chance to escalate.

The challenge is to stop the abuse without lowering my vibration. So… first, I need to delete all thoughts of blame and judgment. This is not a bad person. These are not evil boys. The abuse is only an action which, from my POV, is unhelpful. Second, try to think really fast of a better alternative.

In the case of the boys with the stick, I did go a little ballistic, and then I had to backtrack. I realized that by yelling, I had scared them (lowering their vibration – oops). I told them I knew they were great kids (I did know them), and asked why they were poking the dog. Turns out they were trying to get it to drop a ball so they could throw it again. I showed them how to distract the dog with a treat, so that it would want to drop the ball. Lesson learned. Abuse stopped. Everybody’s vibration is soaring.

How do you react when you see a mom yelling at her kids in a store? Which do you think will help the situation more – sending glares and ugly thoughts about what a horrible person she is, or sending understanding smiles and positive love and energy? If it fits the situation, maybe you can distract one of the participants.

In the Real Global World

Positive intervention (always without judgment) might work in the supermarket or the playground, but what about masses of people dying in Syria, bullfighting, global warming, institutionalized abuse? Here, I revert to the Internet approach. I refuse to perpetuate the problem by giving it my energy. I follow the news, I’m aware, but I’m not sucked in.

Instead, I try to find a way to contribute something positive: singing to the ocean, donating some small amount to building water wells, reading an article about an uplifting, generous, caring person. It’s not the money, or the singing, or the reading – it’s the attention. By focusing attention on solutions, we attract more solutions. Little by little, person by person, five minutes at a time, we attract more and more positive energy toward solutions.

Here’s an at-home example. Many of the people I work alongside in animal rescue are passionate to stopping bullfighting. They publish horrible photos, write unreadably sad articles, and picket outside stadiums. I don’t participate at all. From an LOA viewpoint, they are giving incredible energy to the problem.

A simpler and more effective solution: offer something better. Rodeos (giant thank you to rodeos!) are probably the reason bullfighting never got a foothold in the United States. I’d like to see a Pet Olympics here in Mexico, dog agility shows, rodeos, horse shows, any celebration of our connection with the animal world. Forget abuse. Celebrating is more fun!

Just as with a two-year-old, distracting an adult with something better is an awesomely effective positive action.

The LOA Theory Part

Why does the Law of Attraction related to abuse seem to work differently at a distance and up close? At a distance, LOA suggests that we not give our energy to abuse. Up close, LOA suggests that we acknowledge and gently dissuade.

This is not a contradiction! What LOA says is to do what feels best, what maintains or raises our vibration. High vibration attracts high vibration. Low attracts low.

Powerlessness is a very low vibration. When we see abuse in a photo or on the news, it often triggers feelings of powerlessness because in terms of immediate action, there realistically isn’t much we can do to end the abuse. In this circumstance, the best we can do is maintain our high vibe, and the best way to do that is to counteract powerlessness by taking some small positive action. Deleting an abusive photo is a positive action. Turning off the news is a positive action. Doing something proactively positive feels even better: posting a happy photo, singing a song, planting a bush.

A circumstance that can feel even worse than powerlessness is having the real power to do something good, and choosing not to do it. That is why LOA works a little differently with up-close abuse. How do you feel if you see an animal or a child (or an adult) being mistreated in your presence, and you turn away? Probably awful. That’s your sign. If it feels awful, try to come up with a better-feeling alternative.

Just like deleting an upsetting photo, deleting your own inclination to judge is a positive action. If you can view an abusive situation and feel compassion (not approval, but soul-deep love) for the perpetrator, you have just helped the situation immensely. If you can then from this position of non-judgment move into loving action, so much the better. You are now operating with the full support of the LOA!

In terms of motivation, attraction, and outcome for perpetrators and receivers of abuse, my Soul reaction is that we don’t know enough. Our perspective just isn’t wide enough to perceive what’s really going on. In sado-masochism, sometimes the masochist is in charge (it’s called topping from below). I’m not saying that an abused dog is in charge, or that I understand how they attracted the abuse. What I am saying is that I’m not in a position to judge.

When I was about twenty, I read a story that impressed me deeply. A woman had walked into the ocean and drowned her two children and then herself. She was from a culture where the ‘worse’ sin would have been to leave her children behind to suffer. A deeply religious friend was once in a situation where her baby was so badly injured that he suffered constant pain with no possibility of relief other than death. One would think that killing your child would be the worst possible abuse, but it’s not impossible to think of circumstances where it becomes the better choice.

Where does that leave us? Our best guide is to do what feels happiest. If we can’t reach happy, do what brings a feeling of relief. The more we act from the heart, from a point of compassion without judgment, the more abundance of life we attract.

So, how do you deal with up close and personal abuse? How do you quiet your inner judge? Do you have tips for avoiding sad online images? Please share your thoughts, suggestions, comments, and questions, dear readers! As always, I look forward to a lively discussion.

 

Mary Carol Moran lives in Mexico, where she spreads love and awareness and poetry. Her latest project is an animal shelter for puppies and kitties. Check it out and support the site by liking it here: Amigos de Perros y Gatos Colima

 

{ 40 comments }

Debi @MysticPassage August 5, 2012 at 13:55

Very nice post. For a long time, I have avoided watching animal abuse commercials … change it or walk out of the room. I’ve been practicing what you suggest without know “why”. Nice to know I wasn’t burying my head in the sand which is what others think. I know it exists, I don’t need to read about it or see it in order to confirm it. Same is true for humans … I know it’s there, I don’t need to be reminded. Thanks for a well-written explanation.
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Mary Carol August 6, 2012 at 00:06

Thanks Debi. You may feel even better if you start sharing happy news. If someone talks about an abusive situation they’ve heard or read about, tell a happy story of empowerment. Consciously substitute the empowering for the abusive. This is something we can all do, without judgment. It is the exact opposite of burying our heads! Instead, we are lifting our hearts!

Warm hugs,

Mary Carol
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Philip Harris August 5, 2012 at 14:10

Without the night, we would never get to know the day.

Mary Carol August 6, 2012 at 00:10

We can embrace both. There is no duality. Everything has something of night and something of day, swirled together.

Hugs, Philip!

Mary Carol
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Kat August 5, 2012 at 14:45

Great post about something many of us do not wish to hear, yet, I am sure, already practice by not clicking and furthering that energy and not judging other situations after they occur.

Mary Carol August 6, 2012 at 00:15

Thanks Kat. It is a difficult subject. Working to rescue cats and dogs, it’s one I’ve had to make peace with. It helps me to remember that at all times, in all circumstances, everyone is doing the best they can energetically in that precise moment. Settle into the non-judging mindset, do the best you can to better the situation, and then let it all go.

Hugs,

Mary Carol
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christine e August 5, 2012 at 14:49

thank you for this perspective and point of view. i have wondered and pondered these very thoughts for a long time now. i’ve long ago given up watching ‘the news’ on TV for this reason.
this certainly helps me in my choices of daily emails and fb ‘friends’ and ‘likes’ also.
we’ve had lively discussions at work regarding ‘ all the horrible things that have been going on in our little town lately’. it is not a horrible place, it is that we are so connected, news comes right up to our faces in the form of social media and smart phones moments after incidents happen.
thank you for helping me figure it out :)

Mary Carol August 6, 2012 at 00:22

Thanks for commenting, Christine.

Maybe you can start bringing up heart-warming, positive stories about things that happen in your hometown. Actively search out good news to share with your co-workers. After a short while, sharing the positive will become a habit, and I bet the brightness will spread around. You may be able to share the positive in an otherwise negative situation. ‘Look how the neighbors came together to support…’ etc.

With all of us beacons of light shining away, the doom-and-gloomers don’t stand a chance!

Hugs,

Mary Carol
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Regina August 5, 2012 at 22:05

I would see this differently. There are many terrible things going on in the world and if the one that really gets to you, makes you ‘go crazy’, plays on your mind constantly is the issue of abused animals, maybe your feelings are trying to tell you something. And this something may be a need in you to balance this situation by doing some volunteer work for street animals or abused animals etc. I think persistent bad feelings are best not be avoided. Sure you may not click on the link but you will still know what it means. And if you block this friend, another friend may post a similar link. Unless you listen deep into your soul and work out what would ultimately feel better without a need for distraction or avoidance, I think it is very likely that you are going to continue encountering these images and these feelings.

Mary Carol August 6, 2012 at 00:43

That’s an interesting point, Regina.

I agree that someone who compulsively clicks may want to ask herself why she felt compelled to click on the abuse posts in the first place. There may be an energetic pull/resistance related to feeling abandoned or uncared-for (or something else) that can be addressed and released.

On the other hand, I think those who instinctively shy away from posts showing abuse are more likely tuned into a frequency where viewing the post just doesn’t fit where they are.

And as you say, taking positive action helps. As someone who volunteers with rescue, I would caution that it’s better to work through as much as you can of your resistances before you jump in. Feeling sad or sorry for animals doesn’t empower them. Every twinge of your own personalized resistances will get triggered eventually, and probably in the first week! I’ve seen people get stuck and spiral down into worse and worse feelings before they learned to combine compassion with detachment (which equals respect for the animals’ infinite power and deity).

Always, as with everything, working to rescue animals should feel excellent. If you find yourself feeling sad or angry or frustrated, relax and identify what’s bothering you and why. Then let it go.

Isn’t it amazing the way the world offers us brilliant opportunities to understand and release ourselves? Wow!

Thanks for your thought-provoking comment, Regina! Hugs,

Mary Carol
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Trent August 6, 2012 at 00:21

Hi Awesomesauce & Melody,

I’m sorry to rain on your parade, but I’m not going to add pure praise to this blog. I partially agree but some parts I think have missed the mark. (I’ll explain what that mark is later.)

Totally agree:
It is true that staring at the problem WITHOUT finding a solution is nothing but stressful/negative– you got that right! :-)
Nothing worse than those Debbie Downers flooding the inbox with misery WITHOUT solutions.
Giving energy and tying the stomach in knots over sad and disturbing things. I understand that.
I personally don’t like being flooded with negativity. Negativity and yelling about things without a point.

I know that’s what someone would expect on this type of website–lot’s of people agreeing and saying “what a great post” yet again. I guess anyone that does not would go into spam, be seen as “negative” or just not “getting it”.
So I’m trying to write this as diplomatically as possible– but really this type of thing…. encourages ignorance.

I’m sure as a high vibe person, you don’t have a fragile ego. You don’t want spineless “yes men” that are too afraid to challenge your view.
So here goes honesty!:

“Here’s an at-home example. Many of the people I work alongside in animal rescue are passionate to stopping bullfighting. They publish horrible photos, write unreadably sad articles, and picket outside stadiums. I don’t participate at all. From an LOA viewpoint, they are giving incredible energy to the problem.”

Sure these images are uncomfortable. They shake us from our happy bubble. Pull the fingers out of the ears and make us see a creature in suffering.
Whether it be animal abuse or child abuse people just don’t want to know. LOA believers are the worst.
In the case of the blog author she’s not in that category. Working at an animal shelter is far from ignoring the problem. :-)
It’s part of the solution and I appreciate people like Mary Carol Morgan, being there, getting their hands dirty for the greater good. It’s more work than I’ve personally done to address issues.
So my answer is not directly regarding her in particular, but some LOA tactics that just don’t sit well at all.

But for those LOA not dealing with the solution: Frankly sticking your fingers in your ears going “lalalala everything is happy” and posting happy pictures of animals and children ISN’T SOLVING THE PROBLEM.
I could go a step further and say it’s immature and selfish.

Why?

Because LOAer die-hards don’t want to wreck their happy bubble, they are not the ones getting hit with the stick so they have the luxury of detachment.

Those people passionately giving their energy to “the problem” are also the ones even more passionately going out of their way, their comfort to contribute to the solution.

If society is not shocked by cruel images, they will not be motivated to do something about the problem. They will continue to hold their hands over their eyes, like toddlers while the abused continue to be abused.
Ignoring a problem does not make it go away.
We know this as LOA people because ignoring resistance does not make it go away. Not looking at something won’t make it disappear. In fact it would make you miss the cry for help.

That is like watching a swimmer drown and saying “I don’t want to give his drowning further energy”
You might feel enlightened and good about ignoring negativity. However, this ignoring will cost the drowning man his life. (metaphor, I don’t actually think you’d callously walk away from a drowning man!)
“but he created his own situation, just like the abused animals” well then I guess that washes global responsibility clean.
We can feel better now. It was meant to be.

I understand focusing on the positive over the negative. I’m the first to feel annoyed when surrounded by people that want to slap problems in my face. (I’m pretty sensitive so these things are useless and make me feel sick–believe me I get where some of this philosophy is coming from)
The naysayers and nitpickers.
I say to them ” let’s look at what’s RIGHT about the situation.”
The people that want to look at the creative writing of a child and jump straight to the spelling errors and grammar—rather than the content and imagination of the story. I could list many examples but I’m sure you know I do understand WHY people want to cover their head and ignore.
It sure feels better. It’s easier.

Unfortunately as much as it feels better to ignore- it’s cowardly. I wish that wasn’t the case and it was that easy. Just ignore and it’ll go away.
The low vibration people focusing on the problems we aspiring high-vibe people don’t want to touch with a ten-foot pole.

So while we stick our heads in the sand, those low vibe people we are spiritually trumping with our shining happiness—THEY are the ones getting the work done…

While we stop giving energy to Godzilla and say LOA took it away by our positive thoughts…
Those low vibe people are there with the sword saving our butts from Godzilla, sweeping the mess up and hosing down the blood.
When they are finished we can pull our heads out and say: “our manifestations took care of the problem”
As long as WE feel better.

Mary Carol Moran August 6, 2012 at 02:11

Hi Trent,

While it’s always nice to read that people agree with me, I especially appreciate those who don’t entirely agree and articulate their own viewpoint as clearly and respectfully as you do. So, first off, thank you!!

Any system, including LOA, will be understood and practiced by a person according to their current level of energy/vibration. I entirely agree (with much compassion) that there are people who use LOA as an excuse for inaction. There are lots of people who want LOA to bring them cars or fantastic jobs, without any effort on their part. This is a misunderstanding, one Melody in her awesome posts does her utmost to dispel. Those who are ready to hear, will hear and adjust, and those who aren’t ready just won’t hear.

So when you say that LOA can be used as an excuse, I totally agree. So can Christianity, so can Buddhism, so can existentialism, so can gravity!

I think we actually agree more than you think. Your example of the drowning man, for instance, is exactly what I was talking about with the boys poking the dog with a stick. In the immediate moment, it feels a lot better to do everything you can to help the situation, so LOA suggests you do everything you can!

The same with is true with Godzilla. If he’s in your front yard, get out there with the sword! But if he’s in Tokyo, the best you can probably do is send your positive energy to those who are fighting him there. And you don’t do that by looking at photos of people he’s trampled. You’ll generate more energy/solution by looking at pictures of heroic fighters. In the same way, happy pet adoption photos motivate more adoptions.

In another of your examples, you write about reading the creative writing of children (as a former writing teacher, I totally relate!). I imagine you would agree that ignoring spelling mistakes isn’t ignoring the problem. I would argue the reverse of your statement: “The low vibration people focusing on the problems we aspiring high-vibe people don’t want to touch with a ten-foot pole.” No, the low vibration person is focusing on the spelling and missing the creative ingenuity.

Any action is only effective when it is “right action.” Ranting and flailing may look active, but they aren’t effective. To find right action, you first center into a quiet internal place, calming the exterior voices. Only then will your heart/soul lead you to right action. The moments of centering may look like inaction, but they aren’t. They are the precursor to truly effective solutions.

Thank you again for commenting on my post, Trent. I’m curious to hear your response to my thoughts above.

Hugs!

Mary Carol
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Trent August 6, 2012 at 04:58

Hi Mary (Carol Morgan),

That’s a long name. I might just say MCM or Mary. Unless that would be rude. :-)

Thank you very much for your reply. I question. In our society a questioner is often put into the “antagonistic” box or shut down.
Especially if the question challenges the status quo. Then you’re just being difficult or “rocking the boat”.
It’s great that you answer calmly as sometimes even when being respectful-you strike people that are infuriated by the very notion that you questioned them.
It’s been a common experience for me– getting into very upsetting situations because I asked a simple question.
So I am wary of it.

I also read your reply to Regina, as she posed an interesting question. We often feel compelled to read and do things we don’t enjoy.

Yes, there is a disturbing trend of people using LOA as an excuse. There’s also places where it feels cult like or even religious.
This is a great website, but written in the opinion of primarily one person with people hanging on their answers and taking them to heart.
There are some very helpful things here– I just feel there should be the disclaimer that this is not the only truth or answer.
The blogs are written with such authority which does imply having “the answer” or speaking for all LOA.

“practiced by a person according to their current level of energy/vibration.” – I’m not quite sure what this means? Levels?

You answer my questions very well. It sounds like you-personally- are taking many positive actions.
I agree the photos of warriors do better for morale!!
However, the disgusting photos of trampled soldiers would answer the questions people might have about why we fight in the first place. To prevent further trampling!
Also a good warning about the risks involved. You wouldn’t want to fly to Tokyo with the idea that fighting Godzilla would be an easy adventure!

Turning my Godzilla metaphor into a literal example stripped it of it’s power. What I meant is that the Low Vibration people would be the ones doing the fighting and action. The ones getting trampled. The ones winning over adversity.

“No, the low vibration person is focusing on the spelling and missing the creative ingenuity.”

This asks the question- What is the behavior of a low vibrational person? Who is a low vibrational person?
Is that simply any behavior or person we deem as negative?

What about all the famous people of the world, full of strife and personal hardships, sad feelings– yet created fame, fortune– maybe the greatest inventor, artist or musician the world ever saw?
Surely sadness is low vibrational and artistic achievement is high?

Maybe the person capable of seeing the creative abilities of the child rather than the spelling– is your friendly neighborhood maniac?

The person nit picking the spelling and squashing the child– might also be the same person that volunteers in a youth hostel…

Thank you again.

Mary Carol Moran August 6, 2012 at 05:45

Hi Trent,

You can call me MC if you want, or Mary Carol. Thanks for writing back. Once again, you raise interesting points.

I don’t like the words ‘high vibration’ and ‘low vibration.’ They are just a shorthand, but they have a positive (high) and negative (low) connotation that isn’t accurate or helpful. When I say ‘high,’ what I mean is closer to Soul. Interestingly, ‘low’ doesn’t mean closer to Body, but just further from Soul. I think you can be Body and Soul at the same time, and be vibrating very ‘high’ indeed.

Melody explains ‘higher vibration’ as happier and ‘lower vibration’ as less happy. That explanation is accessible and helpful. Very occasionally, I’ve felt so far beyond happy that happy feels pale. The phrase that most captures this for me is “the peace of God which passeth understanding.” To me, that’s living as Soul.

I don’t know if that addresses your question about vibration, but it’s my take on the word.

Moving to your point about creative people, we need to understand that everyone fluctuates. No one stays ‘high vibrating’ all the time. Often great artists are described as manic depressive. To me, this could be wild fluctuations of vibration. I’ve written novels and poetry, and I know from experience what the flow feels like. It’s exhilarating and even addictive! Finishing a manuscript can bring a big crash, especially the first time. Seen in this way, it makes sense that a great achiever might also have times of great lows.

I also agree that the neighborhood serial killer could perhaps appreciate the child’s writing. A warrior might be a hero and also a thug. A football player can win the SuperBowl and go home and hit his wife. Thinking of vibration as a wave helps make sense of these seeming contradictions.

Last thought: To me it’s a mistake to mistake ‘action’ for ‘effective action.’ Melody uses the term ‘inspired action.’ Volunteering at a youth hostel (or an animal shelter or wherever) may well be inspired action, but only if it truly makes the volunteer joy-filled. If the volunteer feels begrudging, resentful, pitying, bored, or any number of other not particularly happy-feeling emotions, then the volunteering isn’t inspired action and it won’t bring joy to the recipients. It isn’t the action that’s important, but the emotion behind it. A genuine smile to a passerby on the street may have a wider joy-ripple than two condescending hours spent doling out soup.

Nobody is simple or one-vibrational. Each of us changes moment to moment, which is what makes the journey and our interactions so much fun.

Thanks again for your contributions. I’m enjoying the conversation. More hugs,

Mary Carol
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Trent August 7, 2012 at 05:25

Hi MC & Melody,

As Melody said below, you’ve done an excellent job at answering the questions. Your responses, MC, made me smile. I can feel the kindness in them and your like towards me. (I have no clue why, besides the fact everyone says I’m interesting, but not the easiest of people to understand or get along with consistently)
That was quite powerful for me to feel that across the globe!

I agree that nobody is one vibrational– yet Melody herself describes herself as having “a very high vibration”
You think you are close to Soul or live at the level of Soul.

This is saying that in your opinion you both think you are high vibrational beings. Self-claimed high vibrational beings.
You are both teaching and instructing in this light of knowing things. People on this website view you as high vibrational people. They take your word for it.
Now you both may write some beautiful blogs but we don’t know for sure what anyone does in their private life.
You might be the dog-slaughterer of Mexico! An exaggeration… but you never know.
I just see the readers here taking both your views quite seriously, when in my opinion everything LOA should be taken with a grain of salt.

I’ve also enjoyed our interactions and understand why people would enjoy your advice.

You and Melody are quite different in some ways. Melody speaks of a stable vibration/maintaining a high vibration while you mention going with the flow and riding the wave.
Have you ever had the label of bipolar slapped on you? Did people understand what you were doing with your creative bursts?

An important point for many people (and I hope you both answer this one!) is how to have a quick recovery time!
Of recent I was building myself up only to be rattled by someone I care deeply about.
I was hoping to shake off the feeling but it took me 4hrs to start feeling calm and 6hrs to even feel slightly happy again.
(my core “vibration” I’d guess was slightly below neutral. I have a tendency towards depression as the natural default is always a little low anyway.) So 6hrs to float back to the surface and the surface isn’t that high anyway!
But the surface at least for the most part isn’t as painful as the dips below.
Now this was with the intention to feel better and better and not focus on the problem.
Focusing on the problem- I’d be stuck there for 4 days not 4hrs—so a type of progress.
Still would prefer a much swifter recovery time as I get knocked down so often and it takes me so long to get back up.
With such a slow recoup time- it’s nigh impossible to get “higher” as most time is spent just getting back to neutral.

I can see how some aspects of LOA are logical and psychological good sense/wellbeing. In that manner I don’t mind some of the techniques.

A friend of mine with a psychological background said that LOA and imagining the things we want could lead to heavy depression.
I agree with this as whenever I think of what I want and where I’d like to be- it causes me some distress.
The huge gap between the two is rather humbling. It builds up great expectations which are disappointing if dashed.

I was speaking to yet another friend and I asked him why he didn’t want to see the good in the situation. He basically stated the same reasons as the ex psychologist.
He doesn’t want to set himself up for failure or disappointment. Don’t get me started on his reaction to the possibility that our thoughts have impact on the world around us…
He thought that was ridiculous, while I don’t believe it as such–his reaction was much stronger than mine.
I found the anger curious.

Now there is a challenge. How to explain LOA to someone like him. MORE logical and with a military background.
LOA for the military man: A man who doesn’t cry and if he does they’d be tears of pure steel!

Mary Carol Moran August 7, 2012 at 05:45

Hi Trent,

To me “high vibe” (and remember I don’t like the term) means trending high. I’m generally a pretty joyful person. But I go up and down. If you’ve shifted from several-day downs to four-hour downs, you are doing awesome! Wow! Celebrate how far you’ve come!

A huge key (which those who don’t really understand LOA don’t see) is that feeling immense pleasure in where you already are is the absolute best way to get to somewhere even better. It’s not about great expectations. It’s about being so thrilled with the current moment, that the next moment can’t help but be even better. When you learn to live like that, there’s no downside.

You may have noticed from my responses here that I don’t really try to convince people that LOA works. I just write about how I feel. I wouldn’t try to convince a logical military man. I’d just give him a big hug, knowing full well that he’ll figure it out for himself when he’s ready, and that where he is right now is absolutely perfect for him right now.

Warm hug,

Mary Carol
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Melody Fletcher August 7, 2012 at 17:27

Hey Trent,

Here’s the thing: I don’t really think I speak authoritatively as much as that I’m just really confident in my views. But again, I’m not saying everyone has to adopt my point of view or that they will not be ok if they don’t. This is one possible path out of many, and they all lead home. It’s not up to be to determine what your path should be. :)

I would never try to convince someone like your friend of LOA. Actually, I don’t try to convince anyone of anything. I just put it out there and trust that those who resonate with it will come to me. In the case of your friend, I would use my intuition to help me react. When I open myself up to the flow of the energy, whatever that person needs comes through (if they can manifest some clarity through me). And then, the language is often quite different from what I use on this blog.

The way I write and speak here is the most direct way to describe LOA, but it’s far from the only way. I can use psychological terms, too. Or talk about body language, etc. Or, there’s always the option to not say anything at all. Somethings that’s the best way to go in that moment. Your friend does not need to understand LOA in order to go down his path. He’ll make it either way.

If you’re recovering in a few hours, you are doing very well, indeed. And yes, I consider myself to be a fairly high vibrational person. I spend a lot of time (more than most) focusing on how I feel, meditating, reaching for higher frequencies, and flowing energy on behalf of others. I feel really, really happy so much of the time. But not always. And I never want to give the impression that I’m somehow never down. Of course I get triggered by things. In fact, my very strong intention to keep rising has my old buried pieces of resistance come up on a regular basis. I may not sink into full blown depression, but trust me, when you hang out in happy shiny puppy land on a regular basis, even frustration is quite painful.

The trick is not the avoid all negative emotion, but to see it for what it is as soon as possible. Of course I always have to have my emotional response first and then I figure out what caused it. My goal is not to avoid all triggers, but to simply not be triggered by the same thing twice if I can help it. Sometimes, when I can’t figure something out, I actually move more into the resistance, triggering it in a bigger way so that it becomes clearer.

For me, it’s all about seeing the value in all emotions and being able to deliberately dance with them. I don’t try to control my emotions, I let them flow through me. And so, MC and I actually do pretty much the same thing.

The stability I speak of is about deliberately choosing how to feel rather than just reacting to whatever comes along. The more triggers you disarm, the more stable you get. So, for example, it’s very very hard for someone to offend me now. Few things really bother me anymore. It’s hard to bring me out of my happy shiny cloud. And then, something really arbitrary will happen and I’ll have a negative response. And then the work begins.

I’ve written quite about this in the blog and I’ll publish more posts that explain this further in the future.

Focusing on what you want WILL make you depressed if you do so while believing that you can’t actually ever get it. That’s very painful. In that case, you focus on whatever you can that actually feels better to you and go from there. You don’t focus on the end goal if you can’t feel good about it. The primary objective is to feel better, not to DO certain things.

It’s also very much about deciding that you want to feel better and giving yourself permission to move in that direction. The fear of getting ones hopes up is quite common. But making that decision is powerful. Often, this decision doesn’t get made until someone experiences so much pain that they give up. They decide that it’s worth trying, because anything is better than how they feel right now. And so, when you see people in pain, know that it is leading them forward. It’s the rough way to go, but believe it or not, the most common one used by humans.

This has been fun! :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Melody Fletcher August 6, 2012 at 16:30

Hey Trent and Mary Carol,

I’m so enjoying reading this dialogue between you. I think MC did a great job answering the questions. I fully agree with all she wrote.

I wanted to address a couple of things Trent wrote:

You are always welcome to disagree with anything on this blog. As long as you do so respectfully and don’t attack anyone (which you did not), I’ll never send your comment to Spam. In fact, as Mary Carol pointed out, it makes for great conversation and clarification of points of view.

I do write fairly authoritatively, I realize that. I am very sure of my beliefs. But they are for me, and I often offer the disclaimer that I’m not here to convince anyone of anything. I am here, offering a certain point of view. If it resonates with you great. If not, that’s ok, too. I don’t claim that this is the only truth. It’s one truth and if any of it feels right to you personally, keep those parts. I also encourage giving everyone else that same freedom. One of the first articles I ever wrote addresses this very issue: http://www.deliberatereceiving.com/your-best-guru.html

MC already covered this very well, but I do want to reiterate the point that LOA, at least the way I teach it (I’m not responsible for all LOA practitioners out there…) does not encourage people to ignore problems. It simply says that if you continue to focus on the problem, you won’t help anyone and you’ll just feel miserable. Look at the problem long enough to define it, to be aware of it and figure out what you want instead. And then, stop focusing on the problem and focus on the solution, instead.

If there’s nothing you can do about a problem, you have no obligation to feel badly about it. That serves no one at all. And, as MC pointed out, not all action is helpful, even if it comes from a good place. there are countless examples of well meaning folks trying to help the less fortunate only to actually make the situation worse. If action is inspired, that doesn’t happen.

Finding real solutions does take a certain amount of detachment. You have to be willing to take a step back and actually focus on what you want, instead of the problem, to allow the big solutions to come in. This isn’t the same as pretending that the problem doesn’t exist.

I want to thank you for giving voice to something that a lot of people struggle with. There’s a lot of misinformation out there about LOA that gets twisted and skewed and I do my best to address that here. Because those views don’t feel good. Ignoring the problem and pretending it doesn’t exist doesn’t feel good to you and so you rightly question the concept. Good. That’s not your truth (it’s not mine, either).

Oh, and I think you’ll appreciate this post: http://www.deliberateblog.com/2011/02/27/question-everything/

You are always welcome to question whatever you want here. In fact, it’s greatly encouraged. :)

Huge hugs!!
Melody
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Trent August 7, 2012 at 05:28

I’ve answers you both in the above reply to Mary. :-)

naomi August 6, 2012 at 00:57

MCM,
By focusing attention on solutions, we attract more solutions.
This is your best article yet.
U have no idea how timely this is for me (feel like I cried all day, with regard to this very subject!) And was questioning my reactions by day’s end!
Now, back to inish reading it!
Thanks, and thanks to Mel!

Mary Carol Moran August 6, 2012 at 02:32

Hi Naomi,

Thank you for your kind words! I still cry too. Writing about dealing constructively with abuse is one thing. Practicing serenity is a lot harder!

I try to focus on joyful outcomes. I tell each dog every day that he has all the power to attract a wonderful new home. We have an amazing adoption rate, generally four to five a day. One day last week, sixteen! A lot of that is due to relentlessly promoting happy, happy photos of adoptable pets and even happier photos with new owners.

Even though we are the city animal control, technically a “kill” shelter, EVERY healthy animal is adopted. Happiness breeds happiness. In the last few months, employees who were less upbeat have left, and the remaining municipal staff are unbelievable. Potential adopters walk in the door and feel the love.

I wish you every joy. Know that I’m with you, and understand the down times too. Hugs,

Mary Carol
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s August 6, 2012 at 07:25

Aren’t. You being a little too general here?
What if I have a cat tht was beaten to death by some boys and then I find my cry of anguish being ignored when I try to tell people about it?

What if I lost relatives in a concentration camp and then I find people around me choosing to not even talk about the holocaust cuz they’re too ‘sensitive’ to handle it?
Isn’t it plain disrespectful? I’m assuming that you are from the usa..the land of the plenty and all that. The rest of the world is in terrible shape and I see violence and killing and rape around me like evryday events. How ios it even logically possible to put a happpy sticker on horrifyong things.
Aren’t u trying to put an overly shiny veneer on issues here?

Mary Carol Moran August 6, 2012 at 16:34

Hi S. Thanks for writing. You raise several legitimate points.

One message of the post is that if there is something you can do to relieve suffering, you will probably feel better if you do everything you can. So LOA says do it, but without judging. Blame and pity dis-empower. The point of inspired action is to empower. If I saw someone torturing an animal, I imagine I would weigh in with a big stick on the perpetrators, not to punish them but to liberate the animal. Then I would either treat or euthanize the animal, to minimize its suffering. Then and only then would I turn to the perpetrators. I have no idea what action I might take, but know that it would have to come from a place of compassion in order to be effective.

Sometimes there is simply nothing physical we can do. This is often true at a distance, and may be true up close as well. In that situation, the best we can manage is to feel compassion for everyone involved. We need to understand and believe that our vibration of compassion DOES help. Imagine a simple example: at a funeral, often the best we can give is a simple, heartfelt hug. Talking about the suffering of the person who died clearly just perpetuates the suffering of the survivors. We can’t raise the dead, so we do what we can. We instinctively raise all our vibrations by sharing happy memories.

In the same way, focusing on the horror of the Holocaust or of current holocausts doesn’t end them. If there’s action to take, take it. But if there’s no possible direct action, know that sending a powerful vibration of compassionate intention does help.

The LOA says that if I surround myself with photos of torture and think sad thoughts about torture, I am in essence inviting it into my presence. If everyone in the world could maintain an anti-torture vibration, it would have no place to exist, so I do my little bit by actively sharing images and thinking joyful thoughts of happiness and peace. This isn’t burying my head, but instead doing what I can.

BTW, I live in Mexico. The Mexico that surrounds me is a beautiful, healthy place full of peace-loving people. And no, I don’t live in an ex-pat community, but in a regular Mexican middle class neighborhood in a medium-sized city. The violent, drug wars Mexico of the news does exist, but the city I live in is so strongly emanating peace, it doesn’t often touch us.

The bottom line is that focusing on the negative and difficult brings more negative and difficult into the world. For my 1/7 billionth part, I choose not to do that.

Thank you again for writing. Warm hugs,

Mary Carol
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Trent August 7, 2012 at 04:30

Have you met the kind of people that torture small animals or people??

They can’t be reasoned with compassion.
They would laugh at you. Actually, you might be putting yourself in danger. These types of people are the same that might see you in the ugliest light possible.

A normal person looks at that avatar and sees a smiling, mature woman wearing glasses. She has some interesting things to say.

A person with the torture, belittle and harm lens on might see something else. They might see the scornful and strict family member that never gave them the love they needed. They’ll find something bad to see. That’s how they are thinking.
Depending on the background it might peeve them that you are white. That you are female. That you are smiling.
Anything could bother these people. Even the glasses. They are easily triggered bombs.
They look at you as an attacker or victim. Maybe as someone to have fun with- like the animal they are hurting.
They look at everybody like this and would view your compassion as comical weakness. That’s what the a-hole lens does.
I’m sorry to paint you like that–but that’s the reality of those people.

You cannot be so spiritual that you’d be compassionate and trusting of a loaded bomb person.
In an extreme case they might really do something very sadistic to you. They would ignore your pleas for mercy because they can ignore the scream of an innocent like kitten they can do it for anything.

Many serial killers/rapists practice on animals. They just don’t think rationally and rational conversations won’t work.

It’s good you brought the stick–you’d need it. Maybe they’d run off but they might watch where you live or get you later. It’s not that uncommon. You peeved off the wrong people that way.
Best you don’t get a good look at your face. These people are just plain dangerous. I don’t think society is equipped to handle them.
I’m not sure what the solution is as compassion won’t really work for the reasons above and the penal system breeds angry, powerless people determined to take revenge as soon as released.
Punishment makes these types angrier.

I also understand completely what S is saying. She does have a very good point and excellent metaphors “shiny veneer” and “happy sticker” really painted the picture quite well. You did your best to answer.
I don’t think people are ready for those aspects of LOA yet. There needs to be evidence that our thoughts alone will help.
Until then that will always be a morale struggle and source of anger.

I lived in a family where sadness was basically illegal and my mother always shoved a happy sticker over any display of negative emotions.
She would grit her teeth, force a very scary looking smile and with determination state that everything was HAPPY! Almost in a stepford wives manner.
If I was dying inside this was swept under the rug. We are a HAPPY family! She’d almost sound hysterical in her attempts to mask any disturbance of this “peace”

Happiness was therefore associated with plastic smiles, forcefulness and frustration. I did feel some horrific emotions and that it was like slapping “the happy sticker” over a large, increasing wound.

When I did eventually break down in a huge public display of unhappiness– I was exiled from the family and never fit in since.

So I see why this would disturb S. Because sometimes people need to be heard and look at the problem– at least enough to acknowledge its existence.

Mary Carol Moran August 7, 2012 at 05:02

Hi Trent,

Sounds like ‘happy’ is an unfortunate trigger word for you. I grew up in a cover-it-up-with-a-fake-smile family too. You are right that fake happy is awful. There is however a level of true joy and peace that is genuine, gentle, and healing.

In my 61 years, I can honestly say I have never been aware of knowing anyone who was abusive to animals. On the other hand, I’ve met thousands and thousands of people who love animals.

I choose to believe in the basic goodness of people. The good outnumber the bad to such a high percentage that it makes no sense to me to spend emotional energy on those few who choose to do harm. I’m more likely to be struck by lightning than I am to be attacked by a violent person. Yes, it could happen, and yes, I’m careful, but I’m not putting any energy into worrying about it.

In terms of evidence that LOA works, I agree with Melody that scientific proof is around a not very distant corner. For the moment, I believe what is in front of my nose, which is that joy feels better than sadness, and that joy can be learned and increased with practice. The more grateful I am, the more joy accumulates. It’s an awesome spiral upwards.

More hugs, and thanks again for joining the conversation.

Mary Carol
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Nay August 6, 2012 at 23:16

This post is awesome and so are the comments!
Thanks Mary Carol.

I am one of those people who has no desire to see the bad. I’ve been around bad, and dealt with it, and have no desire to deal with it. And yes, I feel like I stick my head in the sand, which makes me feel like a bad person.

But I didn’t have the option to avoid or ignore, so have had to deal with it before. My previous job made volunteering a mandate. And almost every time I volunteered in situations of hardship, I felt horrible. It would drag me down so far! I couldn’t be in the middle of it without feeling like my heart was being ripped out. I felt hopeless and useless, even while supposedly helping out.

Now I can see why I was feeling that way, and can appreciate and agree with what this post states. And of course, I wonder how much of that agreement is because it makes me feel better for sticking my head in the sand… But more importantly, I can see a better way to deal with my own fears and hurts while dealing with others hardships. So often I read and hear people say, volunteer, it will make you feel better, and it never made me feel better. Just made me feel horrible that anyone/anything should have to live with such hardship/horror. And that makes so much sense now, because I never felt like I was helping before. Always just felt I was there, giving a helping hand that would just be taken away when I left, leaving those in need even more despondent. I know, not a good feeling or perspective, but that’s how I felt.

Now I can start reaching for that better feeling, and know that maybe in the near future I can volunteer, and I can help from a position of empowerment and non-judgement instead of horror and despair.

Thanks!

Mary Carol Moran August 7, 2012 at 00:02

Thanks for writing, Nay.

You bring up an interesting point that hasn’t been previously explored. When we volunteer, we can be sure that our ability to maintain our happy vibration will be challenged. Volunteering with people, we will run into those whose vibration is sad. Vibrations always match up or separate, and if you and the sad person are so to speak ‘trapped’ together, either they get happier or you get sadder. If they are in a really low place and you are less than stable, it’s likely that you will sadden to meet them. To really help, we need to maintain a happy stability so strongly that others are lifted too. A good first step is to believe with all your heart that the other person is an all-powerful Soul. When you see the God in them, you help them feel the good in themselves.

Working with shelter animals brings slightly different challenges. The animals themselves are naturally high. Even the hurt or maltreated respond quickly to love. They WANT to be happy. Our challenge is to overcome our human perspective, because we naturally imagine ourselves in their situation. It would be horrible to live in a cage! Well, for street animals, a cage is security, regular feedings, plenty of water, barking company, and the occasional attention from a caring human. Bliss! We’ve had adopted dogs come back to visit and bark angrily at the new occupier of THEIR cage!

Another challenge for me was that I felt personally responsible to get every single cat and dog adopted. It was overwhelming. After a couple of months, I knew I had to adjust or leave. Whatever had occurred in their past, each animal was responsible for their own future. Hard as it was to imagine a three-legged mangy dog as fully in control of its life – that’s the truth! I changed my mantra from “I’ll find you a good home” to “You’ll attract an excellent home.” Literally the day I shifted my energy, people started pouring in to adopt. Coincidence? I just had to get out of the animals’ way. My pity and controlling attitude was blocking their immense power.

If you feel pulled to volunteer, it’s no doubt because this will be a huge learning adventure for you. For me, the learning and challenges continue every day. A wonderful realization is that we receive so much more than we can ever give. I try to remember to say thank you to every creature – human, canine, or feline – who crosses my path each day.

Thank you again for sharing your experience. Warm hugs,

Mary Carol
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Laura August 7, 2012 at 00:40

This is a very interesting subject…”abuse” of any kind that is. And “abuse” isn’t always physical remember.

My compassion goes out to both abuser and abused alike. Mary, you touched on this a bit by saying that we don’t really know what is behind the acts of someone who abuses. And that is truer than you might even realize. It can go much deeper than cultural. And the fact is that if someone is hurting another, that someone is in pain as well.

That being said I am not excusing the person from responsibility just stating a probable fact. I do understand the spiritual aspect of LOA but don’t always agree in the same ways. And I’m going to go into some things that might seem to come from left field, but bear with me.

I think brain chemistry plays a huge part in this whole deal. It effects what we’re feeling and our feelings effect our behavior. As humans however, I’d say many of us if not most have a conscience. And there are people who have abused in the past who have much remorse, regret guilt and shame. They also realize that they abused as a reaction really to the pain they were in at the time and were not capable of seeing another way.

You can see the results of how brain chemistry gets “out of whack” just from having a few adult beverages, or even a cup of coffee. You can see it when certain illnesses including mental, when a particular dietary protocol is followed.

Even for myself, I notice my moods fluctuating depending on what I’ve been eating. I become real agitated when my blood sugar is low and I’d knock my own mother out of the way to get to some food to remedy that.

I really think a lot of these behaviors we view as negative or low vibrational, are simply a result of brain chemistry needing to be balanced, most of the time.

I know someone who’s behavior while severely depressed, resulted in the death of a pet. This person lives with remorse and guilt everyday. But when she’s not in that deep depression and this involves keeping brain chemistry balanced she is one of the most compassionate people I know. The problem here is also the guilt and remorse can cause thoughts and feeling of low self worth. So she goes off the regimen that keeps the brain chem. balanced and she can get caught in a cycle from needing to release the anger, but then feels guilty immediately after if she causes pain, even emotional pain.

The abusers need help too. And again, that’s not to say that the ones being abused don’t have the right to get away, be safe and live a peaceful and pain free life. Of course they do. But the abuse would lessen if we as a society had more compassion toward everyone in pain and then had ways of helping them. Judging them or locking them up and throwing away the key are not true solutions.

On the subject of the boys you saw poking a dog with a stick…How old were they? Their age could have something to do with their lack of understanding of compassion or perhaps their parents are not nurturing in this area or it’s something that one of them saw a grown up do. Kids learn from what we do.

And then there’s the indirect abuse of meat eaters (of which I am one.) We may not be on the staff at the factory farms beating the pigs and injecting the cows and although most of us here on this site probably try most of the time to eat “rightfully” raised animals, the fact remains, these animals are still slaughtered and most of us will eat out at restaurants that serve conventional meat.

Bringing it back to LOA which is about attracting what we want by feeling good, well, first we need to really feel good in order to BEHAVE in such a way that results in these awesome things. But it is somewhat of a cycle and I believe that our behaviors have changed overall throughout humanity simply because we are not able to get the nutrients we need to nourish our brains which has a huge connection to how our bodies feel which has a connection to our emotions, which has a connection to what we attract.

Just my 3 cents.

Mary Carol Moran August 7, 2012 at 02:58

Hi Laura,

Thanks for your comments. You’ve obviously thought a lot about this subject, and I appreciate your sharing your perspective. Your point about brain chemistry is an interesting one. I sometimes eat some chocolate when I’m feeling a little low, knowing it gives me a little emotional/chemical boost.

One of the hardest emotions to release is guilt. If a person can connect even briefly with their Soul, they will feel absolute acceptance. Imagine telling your Soul that you just killed your dog. They say back, “I love you more than anything in the world. You will feel happier if you don’t do that again.” And that’s the end of it. No blame, no guilt.

Releasing blame and guilt seem to go hand in hand. When we stop blaming others or circumstances, we eventually figure out that we can stop blaming ourselves as well. It helps to realize that everyone (even me!) is always truly doing the best they can (not what we want, but their own personal energetic best in that instant).

My theory is that we invented guilt and blame at around the time we started living together in larger groups. That’s all they are – a human invention designed to lead us toward group-helpful behavior. Unfortunately, they kind of backfired. Now we are reaching a time where we can let them go.

As Melody is so good at reminding us, if we always reach for the better-feeling emotion, we will stay on the path of LOA, moving toward joy in all its forms.

Hugs,

Mary Carol
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Me August 7, 2012 at 20:43

Hi Laura,

I read your post and for some reason, I feel as though I should share my story.

First let me start with a little background. I was raised in an emotionally and physically abusive home, but not according to my parents. If my dad beat us or called us names, then we deserved it. Children in the home I grew up in were seen as a burden and something to control (or at least that is how I felt). I was never allowed to be myself or voice my opinion. I never felt like I could talk to my parents about anything because they would get mad and blow things out of proportion. So I grew up never wanting kids.

Fast-forward to today. I have 2 kids. One girl, age 7, and one boy, age 3. When my daughter was first born, I had the hardest time accepting her. I always thought that I would fall in love the first time I saw her, but, and I know this sounds bad, I really didn’t like her. I think she felt something was off too. When we brought her home from the hospital, she didn’t stop crying for 3 days! I am not even exaggerating. I got so frustrated with her that I ended up yelling at her and calling her names (yes, to a 3 day old). As she got older, I started spanking and then that led to hitting and shoving. That type of behavior (for me) continued on and off until about 6 months ago.

My daughter (bless her little heart) stated asking me why I was always so angry with her and why I didn’t love her. And that hit me! I did/do love my daughter, but I had no idea why I was always angry with her. I tried so many times to change, but nothing ever worked. If I wasn’t angry with my daughter, I was basically ignoring her.

I wanted so badly to have the kind of relationship with her that I only dreamed about with my parents. I wanted to love coming home from work so I could see her (I used to volunteer to work longer). I wanted to have more patience with her. I wanted to be a better mom, but all of that wanting made me more depressed because I couldn’t reach that point.

Enter LOA. The first time I heard about it, I thought it was a crock of crap. I certainly didn’t think that I had manifested an abusive home, and I was pretty sure my daughter didn’t manifest a horrible mother. But the next time I came across it, I guess I was ready to listen because I felt something so strong that I can’t even explain it. I just knew it was true, and if it wasn’t, I told myself, “Was it really that bad to adopt a positive outlook on life?” So I knew that I had to start with me. I had to find out what I believed subconsciously about myself to make me react and feel horribly.

Nothing amazing happened at first, but I started being in a better mood when I came home from work (I used to be in a good mood until I walked in the door to my home). Then I noticed that when I was in a good mood, my daughter didn’t bother me as badly. It started out really slow and the changed were small, but the more I kept working at it, the faster and bigger the changes started to become.

I am not proud of what I have done, but I do not feel ashamed anymore. I never thought I would ever share this part of me, let alone on a blog, but here it is. I think that our brain chemistry is a symptom not the cause. I think what causes our chemistry to get messed up in the first place is some belief that we have. In essence, our emotions affect our brain’s chemistry, not the other way around. I used to get extremely irritated if I had to wake up before I was supposed to, if I was still tired after waking up, if I was hungry, etc. Now that I have been doing some “soul” searching, if you will, I have noticed that these things don’t bother as much. I still get irritated from time to time, but it’s not as bad, and I don’t beat myself up over it anymore. I take it for what it is: a manifestation. So I start searching again to find out why it happened in the first place. I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that things are improving. I am happier than I have been in a very long time. Both of my kids are happy, and my daughter is starting to trust that she can be honest with me, without fear of my reaction. And the best part, I don’t have to fear my reactions anymore.

Mary Carol Moran August 7, 2012 at 21:25

Hi Me,

Thank you for sharing your story. That took a lot of courage. Giant warm fuzzy hugs!

How wonderful that you have resolved that your children will have the safe, supported childhood that you missed out on. Being the wake-up-and-change-things generation isn’t easy, but you are living proof that it can be done. Each step of the journey will be a little gentler, a little clearer, now that you’ve started. Baby steps! Every time your daughter smiles or laughs, give yourself a little pat on the back.

More warm fuzzy hugs! I hope you continue to share your journey with us here on the blog,

Mary Carol
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Melody Fletcher August 8, 2012 at 00:40

Hey Me,

Wow, what a powerful comment. Just like Mary Carol, I applaud your honesty, authenticity and courage – not just for writing this but for living it. You’ve clearly come a very long way. Bravo!

Huge happy shiny puppy hugs!

Melody
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Laura August 9, 2012 at 17:36

Wow Me. Thanks for sharing all of that and really putting yourself out there in such an honest way.

There are teachings that say that the things that happen to us aren’t really the cause of why we feel the way we feel…it’s our interpretation of them. That’s shown when two people growing up in the same household are effected in completely different ways. So that does show that there is a lot of mind involved in so much of our lives and behaviors, etc.

We sort of have a chicken and egg thing going here. Is it the mind exclusively that gets us out of our funk and “bad mood” and being better? Maybe for some people that works. I have found in major bouts of depression, my thoughts are not conducive to “raising” my vibration. So that sort of takes me out of the running for me to attract things that will actually be what I truly want because my mind isn’t strong enough to bypass the ‘depression.’

I don’t doubt that people can do this and I say “Great!” If someone can change their mood with just their mind, simply by making that decision, then all the better and I say keep going. That has worked for you and I’m certainly happy for you and your kids.

You had/have and inner knowing that this is what works. At the time LOA entered your life it resonated. You KNEW (not just believed, right?) that this was what was going to work for you. And it did.

When I first began learning about LOA, I tried to just feel good. And it didn’t work. That felt like the fake it til you make it thing and that just didn’t resonate with me. I needed/need it to be real. (That’s not to say that when someone can make a conscious decision to feel good that they can’t. I believe that is what you did.) But maybe for myself, it was because I didn’t have the deep inner knowing, that it didn’t work for me but either way it wasn’t working.

There are times I come away with a new perspective, after talking with someone about how I feel about a particular event (for example) feeling good but it never lasts. There’s always been a back track to what I thought was some sort of set point.

I began researching nutrition. One thing I knew was that the stuff I had been putting in my body for so long, since childhood, most of it was unhealthy. I wonder though, if I had a strong enough mind to alter my thinking, and really “know” that sugar and beer in excess is actually healthy and is cleansing my body, if it would work?
(No sarcasm here…I’m being completely serious.)

I have found that for me nutrition effects my mood, which effects my thoughts, which effects my behavior, which effects my vibe. I find that when I’m balanced nutritionally, my moods lift and in turn my vibration is very different. For me that makes all the difference. Is it only because I strongly believe it’s what works for me? Maybe. But it works. Peace and feeling good is the “goal” right? So it doesn’t matter much how we get there as long as we get there.

Chicken and egg…chicken and egg. I’m so happy you shared. Thank you.

Hugs.
Laura

Mary Carol Moran August 9, 2012 at 17:56

Hi Laura,

Thanks for expanding on your earlier comment. What you say makes a lot of sense. Nutrition plays a huge role for me too. Our bodies are the vehicle for enjoying the ride of this life, so why not put in premium fuel? We learn the little tweaks as we go along. Bananas keep me from getting leg cramps at night. Dark chocolate gives me a little boost when I want one. And if we need a bit more boost from a pill, there’s nothing wrong with that either. Everything in balance.

As you say, what makes us feel good physically helps us feel good emotionally. Exercise works like this for some people too. Bottom line for you and ME (and me!), whatever works, keep doing. Yeah and congratulations to you both!

Hugs,

Mary Carol
Mary Carol Moran invites you to read..Random QuestionsMy Profile

Trent August 11, 2012 at 06:43

Hi MC,

I found this amazing video of a cat being bathed! I thought back to this post.

http://youtu.be/y06WwsQXOzc

What kind of vibration is this owner sending off??? Even with cats/dogs that love water I have never seen such a docile creature. It just calmly sits there being bathed and in some parts quite roughly, flipped over, rinsed and squeezed for a good ten minutes.

There’s a couple of parts where the owner is slightly heavy handed in the rinsing, where the cat complains very softly.

They aren’t even wearing long-sleeves!

Is it enjoying or just very obedient?

Trent August 11, 2012 at 06:49

Oh sorry that was the wrong one…

http://youtu.be/PiDHXu5THj0

Here’s the proper version.

Mary Carol Moran August 13, 2012 at 04:33

Hi Trent,

I find cats kind of hard to read, so I couldn’t tell if a cat was “really” enjoying a bath, or faking it. I imagine though, if the cat didn’t want to be there, the cat wouldn’t be there.

You make an interesting point about physical contact. My daughter rough-houses with her dogs much more than I probably would. But the dogs love it, and come back for more and more. In fact, my dog who I never rough-house with, loves to play with my daughter. We can’t always tell from appearances. It’s easy to go from “I wouldn’t like that” to “You shouldn’t do that.” Avoiding judgment is a big step toward a peaceful, happy life.

Hugs,

Mary Carol
Mary Carol Moran invites you to read..Random QuestionsMy Profile

Trent August 13, 2012 at 04:55

Hi MC,

On judgement. I don’t get along with highly critical people- as far as nit pickers and Debbie Downers… They are not happy people!

I have, however recently found the profound value of morals and judgement. Even negative things like “guilt”
In large, constant doses these things are a pain. At other times they are needed.

In some times these things are the lines between people doing the right thing or harming others.

For example I had a very helpful friend. I did not like their company and decided to tell them honestly and end the friendship.
People questioned me. “Why not keep a helpful and powerful friend” “look at all the benefits you get from this friendship”
They have money and connections I don’t have. They were indeed useful.

Guilt is the moral rod that stopped me from keeping a friend I didn’t truly like. I have a strong sense of guilt that keeps me in line.
These other people would gladly fake friendships and smiles just to keep the peace/benefits rolling in.

No matter how much benefit I will get– my morals are stronger– I really don’t feel right with being fake.

Sometimes that desire to be “real” rather than fake causes me to apply judgement.

I think this is a great thing and if we removed it from society for the sake of our happiness- it would eventually harm happiness of others.

If you took away judgement and guilt– you’d have many people being incredibly selfish and not caring about the impact they have on others.

Spiritually advanced people like you and Melody might be able to be non-judgemental.. because you’d do the right thing anyway.
You are so happy you have no desire to harm others. You have consideration.

But for myself and everyone else..not quite at that level.. rules, morals, judgement..those boring things keep them in line until they do evolve enough to choose not to hurt others simply because that feels better.

Mary Carol Moran August 13, 2012 at 16:03

Hi Trent,

Judgment is a tricky, seductive thing. Until we realize in our gut that it doesn’t and couldn’t exist, we think it’s an essential and even beneficial part of human life. Ultimately, letting go of judgment is a leap of faith that there’s a better way to feel.

Melody and I are no different from (certainly not better than!) anyone else. EVERYONE is perfect exactly as they are, and everyone is evolving at their own rate. If there’s a difference, it’s that we’ve both (and many other people) let go of judging. The phrase that helps me is, “It is what it is.”

For me, the leap came when I got tired-to-exhaustion of feeling guilty for every little thing. I realized that if I stopped ever blaming anyone, then I could stop always blaming myself. It seems to be an all or nothing thing. No guilt, no blame means NO guilt and NO blame. Period.

In terms of LoA, and practicality, when we release all blame, we begin to see the best in everyone, and they in turn bring their best to us. It’s a win-win that leads to a happy, peaceful life.

In the situation with your ex-friend, I would suggest that what happened was that you no longer matched vibrations, so you chose to leave. It’s that simple. You are happier on your own than in their company. No need to blame them, and no need to justify anything.

Thank you for sharing an illuminating question. Warm hugs,

Mary Carol
Mary Carol Moran invites you to read..Random QuestionsMy Profile

Veronica September 15, 2012 at 08:52

Hi Mary,

I’m struggling at bit with something close to animal abuse but not quite. Somebody that lives in my apartment block has two dogs locked in their garage.
I’m sure they are there because they can’t have them in the unit.

It seems cruel to have them locked in there with the concrete crying all day. There is a blanket and water bowl, the slots on their garage are so small it’s hard to really see how well they are. I really had to strain hard to see anything.

I’m sure they might be taken for walks… but still..no grass..no company…

Is this animal cruelty? Should I report it? I hear them all the time crying lately. Wouldn’t even know they existed until I went to my garage and they were crying and I tried to follow the sound.
It took a few looks in the dark to find them!

My gut instinct was that it was wrong.

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