Top 10 Values That You Must Have If You Want To Live With Passion

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by Melody Fletcher on July 8, 2012

 

Today’s guest post is brought to you by Mohamed Tohami, who blogs about finding your passion at TransformationalMotivation.com.

“Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values.” – Ayn Rand

Back in 2007, I started interviewing successful people about their secrets of success. And I noticed they all embraced common values that helped them make smarter decisions and better choices. I started embracing these values in my life and they helped me make the most important decision in my life so far.

At the beginning of this year, I quit my job to pursue my passion full time. A lot of people called me crazy and blamed me for putting my family at big risk. But, when I examined my decision I realized that I couldn’t hold it back one more second. I spent the past 9 years working on my passion on the side and every day I was suffering from an identity crisis.

From 9 to 5 I felt like I was nobody, while from 5 to 9 I felt like I owned the world doing what I love. I never regretted my decision, because that single risky move is what brought me happiness the likes of which I’d never experienced before.

Why?

Simply because, now I am honoring my values. And when you follow your heart and honor your values, everything falls into place and you start experiencing harmony and flow. A value is something of relative worth, merit, or importance.

Passionate people share common values that guide their decisions and choices in life. You need to embrace these values if you want to live with passion and make your life a story that’s worth telling.

So let me share with you my top 10 values of passionate living:

1. Freedom

“The best road to progress is freedom’s road.” – John F. Kennedy

This is probably the most important value that passionate people have.

Living life on your own terms must be of great importance to you. You should aim for financial freedom and freedom of choice.

You shouldn’t make decisions based on money. Instead, you should make decisions based on what matters most to you. You should be free to choose what brings you the most joy, and not feel obliged to follow a certain path under the pressure of responsibilities.

2. Value/Usefulness

“Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value” - Albert Einstein

Passionate people strive to give value first. For them success is a result, not a goal. They enjoy helping people. Money is always secondary. Your primary goal is to provide as much value as you possibly can.

Give away value that makes you the most useful person in your field. That’s why I decided to offer my revolutionary technique for finding purpose in life for free. I wanted to be of GREAT value to you and to as many people as I can possibly reach.

When you are of great value, money, success, fame or whatever you dream of naturally follow.

3. Family

“I don’t care how poor a man is; if he has family, he’s rich.”  - Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford

Passionate people put family and relationships first. Work is just a means to create a lifestyle that you can enjoy with the people you love and care about.

You shouldn’t do work for work’s sake. Instead, your work should support your ideal lifestyle. Your passion driven business must lead to a balanced life. One of the key benefits that people who quit their jobs report is that they had more time to spend with their families.

4. Hobbies

“A hobby a day keeps the doldrums away.” - Phyllis McGinley

Passionate people are attached to their hobbies. A hobby recharges your energy, puts a smile on your face, helps you connect with new people, makes life exciting, and sometimes you can turn it into a business!

A hobby is a way to express yourself and bring loads of joy into your life. It lifts off the stress and adds balance to your life.

5. Choice

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer

Passionate people take responsibility for their lives and know that they have the choice. You’re not obliged to do anything. Yes, you might be under pressure to pay the bills and feed your family, but you still have a choice.

You always have a choice to do nothing and accept the misery, or a choice to do one thing every day to get closer to your dreams, escape the 9-5 and be free to choose and do what you love.

In life, there is no end. As you long as you’re living, you have a choice every morning to take charge and change your course or to keep doing what you’ve been doing.

6. Experience

“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Passionate people value experience more than certificates. Knowledge is not enough if it stays in your mind. If you don’t use what you know and what you’re good at to create new exciting life experiences, then your intellectual property is of no use.

You can easily spot a passionate person, because you can feel that he/she is speaking from the heart. They speak from the heart because they have the experience. They have been there and lived it. They are walking their talk. They don’t preach from books, but they share real lessons from their personal lives.

The quality of your life is highly proportional to the quality of your experiences. How often do you try something new? How often do you stretch yourself to new limits?

7. Uniqueness

“I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” - Robert Frost

Passionate people are crazy about taking the path less traveled. You should fight conformity and strive for uniqueness.

You’re unique and that’s why your path should be unique. You must break the social norms that confine you in well defined molds. If you follow the herd, then you won’t be remembered.

Those who live a unique story are the only ones who are remembered long after they pass away. Why? Because people love to share and pass on unique and good stories.

Don’t expect to achieve different results if you follow the crowd.

8. Skills/Growth

“Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.”  - Albert Einstein

Passionate people are growing every day. Every day you should be learning or trying something new.

Continuous growth is the mantra of all successful people. No matter how good you are or how much you know, there is always room for more.

Work on your skills and develop new ones regularly. By acquiring new skills, even if they are in different fields, you will boost your confidence and broaden your experience (an important value we’ve discussed above).

9. Art/Creation

“A great artist is always before his time or behind it.” - George Edward Moore

Passionate people create works of art. They see problems and create new creative solutions that no one has heard of before. They are visionaries and their creativity never ends.

They create pieces of art that inspire people and solve their problems or enhance their experiences. You shouldn’t aim for being the best. Instead, you should always aim for being the first.

Do something creative that fills a gap. Do something that people perceive as rare art. Do something that takes the world by surprise.

10. Significance

“When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.” - Indian Proverb

Passionate people are difference makers. You live to find your joy and at the same time bring joy to others. You do what you love and leave a mark along the way.

You want to be remembered by leaving behind tremendous value that changes people’s lives or transforms their experiences.

You become significant by living an exciting and thrilling story that inspires people and makes you a role model for current and future generations.

You create art and art leads to significance.

It’s worth mentioning that significance is the natural result of living by all the previous 9 values. It should be in your heart to make a difference and be of value and significance.

Now, it’s your turn. Which of these values do you already have and which values do you need to work on and embrace? Please share your thoughts below.

 

Mohamed Tohami is a bestselling author and the creator of “The P.A.S. Technique: The World’s Easiest Way To Find Your Passion and Purpose In Life”. Click here to join his upcoming FREE life purpose coaching online class.

 

 

{ 17 comments }

Kat July 8, 2012 at 14:30

Fabulous post! Great reading first thing in the morning.

I, too, have noticed and read in biographies that truly successful people lead unconventional lives and certainly never followed the herd, no matter how much members of the herd criticized them. They still wanted to leave a mark in the world, that was their goal along with spreading happiness. This is by far the loftiest goal, after all, other than feeding yourself and your family, which they also do, and very easily at that since they met their original goal.

Society will always judge those who deviate- it never gets tired of doing that, unfortunately. I have always wondered where the definitions of what is “normai” and “standard” came from? Who set them up and how did it catch on so as to make a boxed world like it did? Everything is a box now, form an office, the cubicles in it, to the box you turn to after work, the tv. It is a very one-dimensional way of living, and if we are creators, how did this mentality catch on to become the norm?

I realize this is changing, yet there is a long way to go. If you want to do anything in your life, you still have to meet certain standards. Being original is still foreign to most of the population. Marching to the beat of your own drum and following things you want to experience are what we are here for, so when we do that we can know the universe has our back and all will be well.

Mohamed Tohami July 8, 2012 at 20:40

That’s an awesome insight Kat. You nailed it and said it beautifully. I love what you said about society and that it never gets tired of judging those who forge their own path.

Life taught me that if people called you crazy, then this means that you are moving in the right direction.
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Kat July 8, 2012 at 21:35

Hooray! Kudos to you!!!

Karin Hurt July 8, 2012 at 15:00

Great post. I have also been doing a bit of thinking and writing on this subject. When we are passionate about what we do it is easier to “skip to work” which as leaders… invites others to skip along.

Mohamed Tohami July 8, 2012 at 20:43

When you let your heart lead the way, everything falls in its place. Totally agree with you Karin.
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Sylviane Nuccio July 8, 2012 at 16:04

Hi Mohamed and nice meeting you.

This is a very true post. How much could I relate to you when you said… from 9-5 I felt like a nobody and from 5 to 9 I felt like I owned the world. I felt exactly that. See, I wasn’t a talented successful on top of the scale American Corp person who thought she should try something new. No, I was always this talented trilingual underestimate individual always making much less money than she was worth stuck in the worst possible jobs.

However, it was the very reason that I started to feel that I was bigger than “my skin” and it was time to do something about my life. I had almost forgot that I had done something like that years ago when I decided that I wanted to be an actress and managed to go beyond and incredible shyness and fear of speaking out due to a childhood of being bullied.

I always knew that I didn’t belong to the crowd, it was all about taking the right steps. And still working on it :)

Thanks you for your great post, Mohamed!
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Tim Brownson July 8, 2012 at 20:59

For anybody to say a person ‘must’ have these values to be passionate is missing the mark.

I have zero hobbies (not that hobbies are values anyway) except coaching and writing about coaching, but I am extremely passionate about my job and my life. Ask Seth Godin what his hobbies are and he’ll tell you his work.

I’ve spent 7 years studying and writing about values and the only thing I can tell you for certain is we’re all different and there is no cookie cutter approach with them as you’re suggesting. There are highly linear people without a creative bone in their body who are passionate.

There will be passionate people who are estranged from family and there will be passionate (introverted) people who could care less about significance.

Sorry to be negative, but if you use a headline like Top 10 Values That You Must Have If You Want To Live With Passion, then you leave yourself wide open for people like me who are anal about values as well as mislead people into thinking this is a short cut to passion.

It isn’t.
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Melody Fletcher July 8, 2012 at 22:18

Hi Tim,

Thanks for adding your perspective here.

I could’ve changed the name of the post to “Top 10 Values That Might Want To Think About Having If You Want To Live With Passion” but that wasn’t as catchy, LOL.

While it’s clear that you’re very passionate, I don’t think Tohami ever meant to imply that if you don’t follow these “rules”, that you cannot be passionate. I can’t really imagine anyone reading it that way, either, at least not in my audience. But, on the off chance that someone here did, your comment certainly set them straight. :)

I chose to publish this post here because I felt that it gave people some great tips to think about.

I agree with you. There is no shortcut to passion. I suspect that Tohami does, as well, having dedicated his life to helping people find theirs.

Huge hugs,
Melody
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Tim Brownson July 9, 2012 at 00:14

I know what you’re saying, catchy headlines are a must to grab readers attention, but surely not at the expense of the truth? I often do similar things but make it obvious in the body of the post that it’s merely my opinion.

I have a duty of care to my readers not to mislead them into thinking if they don’t have X value then they can’t achieve Y or be Z, because I know that’s not true.

There are some excellent tips in the post, no doubt about it, but the headline isn’t ambiguous it’s a statement of fact, and the points aren’t facts they are opinions.

You cannot deal with values in this way and after working with 100′s of people on values I can tell you two things that I am sure of.

1. There are few if any commonalities with successful people. Peace, integrity and connection are 3 that I see way more frequently than some of the above. I also see loyalty, humor, love, kindness and gratitude a lot more often than most of the above.

2. You cannot merely desire a value. You either have it or you don’t. In the case of the latter if you would like Integrity as a value then it’s yours. Now whether you live in alignment with it and practice it is a whole different matter.

Hugs back at ya ;-)
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Mohamed Tohami July 10, 2012 at 12:09

Hi Tim,

I appreciate your opinion. The question here is, “If someone embraced one or some of these values, will they help a person to live with passion?”

We are not misleading the readers here and no one dares to do so :)

You can choose to live by one, some or all of these values, and they will certainly help you live with passion.

I personally found these values to be a cornerstone in any passionate living quest (some or all), and they are the result of my 9 years of study, research and interviews with passionate people.

Thanks a lot for enriching the conversation by your point of view.

Regards,
Tohami
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Mohamed Tohami July 10, 2012 at 12:17

Hi Derrek,

I believe what you need to focus on initially is to identify your purpose in life and what it is you’re passionate about.

Freedom doesn’t come all at once. It is like a muscle. The more you work on it, the stronger it gets. You work on your passion and towards your purpose and as you progress , you increase your freedom of choice.

When you’ve a dream and a bigger purpose and you realize that your existing relationships don’t support it, then you have the freedom to build a new line of supportive relationships that encourage you, lift you up and love you as you are.

Passion and purpose comes first.

Regards,
Tohami
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Derrek July 12, 2012 at 11:52

Hey Tohami,

Sorry dude, I didn’t notice your reply to your comment. It ended up below another comment so I must have missed it. I like when you compare freedom to a muscle. I guess the same could be said for any sort of feeling? They’re like habits. The more you do it, the better / stronger it gets.

Thanks, dude! :)

Mohamed Tohami July 8, 2012 at 21:16

Nice meeting you too Sylviane. I can relate to everything you said. Passion never ceases to surprise me. People do wonders when they follow their hearts and start doing what they love. I wish you all the best in your passionate pursuit. You can make a difference. I believe in you.
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Derrek July 9, 2012 at 22:27

Fantastic post, Melody. I have a question though.

Freedom has always been of utmost importance to me. Freedom to live life the way you choose is the ultimate goal, at least in my opinion. But call it resistance or a mental block or any appropriate term, I keep finding myself lacking the freedom that I really, really crave sometimes. It seems hard to live free when you have a job or have loved ones to look after. I’m not saying I hate any of these, but what if being in such a close relationship is what causes you to “lose” freedom?

I understand the meaning of freedom and the awesomeness of being truly individual. But to those who are oblivious towards the LOA, I could come off as a selfish prick who likes to hurt the feelings of others.

Say for instance, in a marriage. What if a guy who is already married suddenly feels as though his freedom is slowly slipping away? And then he learns about the LOA. Calling for a divorce on that basis alone would be a lil’ drastic, so he tries to apply the LOA in his marriage so that he can be in a close, loving relationship while also being completely free. My question is, is that really possible? Can you be free when you have people depending on you and when your actions directly affect those around you (who may not know about LOA and independence)?

What do we focus on to cultivate freedom? We could focus on the feeling of being free, being open, and being tied to nothing…but would that really work in a relationship-based reality, or will that cause Mr.X to navigate away from his loved ones? The big question is, what can a person do / focus on to bring about a sense of freedom in his life?

Thanks a mil, Melody! Uber-awesome high-fives! :)

Melody Fletcher July 11, 2012 at 21:12

Hey Derrek,

Tohami answered your question above as well, but I’m happy to throw in my two cents. You know, especially since you got all whiney about it on the other post. ;)

I think that you’re assuming that you cannot feel free in a relationship. But you can. And if you focused on FEELING free, then your relationship could almost certainly give you that. Relationships are not akin to bondage. Ok, many of them are, but that’s just because of the beliefs of the partners, not because it’s somehow a necessity.

We assume that in order to be in a relationship, we must compromise, which means that we must do things that we don’t really want to do, but may be willing to do for the other person because we love them. But whenever we do something we don’t want to do, we don’t feel good. You feel like you’re giving more than you want to give and then you become resentful and feel trapped.

But, you don’t have to choose between becoming a slave to your girlfriend or telling her to go %&$# herself. There’s a middle ground. You want to be in a relationship AND you want to be free and that scenario exists. The key is to not do anything you don’t really want to do. Sometimes, that means saying “no”, sometimes it means finding a perspective that allows you to actually really want to do something.

I believe the compromise that’s necessary in a relationship is not both parties giving up more and more of themselves in order to please the other, but both parties finding ways to please BOTH parties. And I don’t mean in a keeping score kind of way. I mean in each and every moment. The solution that satisfies both parties is always there, but often unseen. If both of you remember (or just you, that’s enough for you) that what’s really important is the feeling not the action, and if you focus on that feeling, those options will become available to you. You do not have to make yourself miserable or feel like you’re in prison in order to be in love. :)

Capish?

Huge happy shiny ninja puppy hugs,

Melody
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Derrek July 12, 2012 at 11:50

See…simple yet powerful. Thanks, Melody! :)

Elena Anne July 12, 2012 at 18:22

Great post. Following these values allows you to do more with your life, to feel more joy, to experience and as the photographer Walker Evans said to ‘die knowing something’. “Stare. It is the way to educate your eye, and more. Stare, pry, listen, eavesdrop. Die knowing something. You are not here long”. Thanks.
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