Dear lovely readers,
I am currently on a weeklong Spa vacation in Austria. While I’m gone, I’ve decided to publish one reader question per post. Enjoy!
Awesome Rik asks: “I was having a conversation with a friend about (romantic) Love as it relates to the LOA and I realized there was something maybe you can help with. It’s usually stated in LOA articles and love advice that when two potential lovers meet, their attraction is strong and instantaneous. In short, both of the involved parties will know it. But, in the course of my conversation with my friend, we started to realize just how many couples have had the opposite experience. More specifically, one person asked the other one out, was soundly rejected, did it again, was flatly rejected again, until, out of irritation (or whatever) agreed to go out with said person, with the ensuing date leading to more dates, marriages, families, etc. As an aside, this scenario happened with my own parents. My mom apparently could not stand my dad when they met, but his persistence led to a now 40 year relationship (with relatively few major problems). Obviously, this doesn’t happen in every case, but enough times to make me wonder. I’m sure there’s a relatively simple explanation we were overlooking, but this is intriguing. Can you help clarify this seeming dichotomy in attracting Love? Thanks for your time.”
What an excellent question!
When two people are a significant vibrational match to each other, they tend to know it. They have a strong emotional reaction to each other. If they both have little resistance to what they want and the point that they are a match to each other on, then they will feel a strong attraction for each other. If they have a lot of resistance to what they want, they will feel strong negative emotion.
Is it possible for a person who evokes negative emotion from you to actually be bringing you what you want? Of course! It happens all the time. Sure, “negative” manifestations are generally a sign of resistance. When you overcome the resistance, the manifestation clears up. But think about this:
If you want something really badly, but you have a strong belief that you can’t have that thing, then looking at it is going to cause you pain. And then, you may conclude that this thing is horrible, when in fact, you want nothing more. This is the same concept that makes little boys throw rocks at the little girls they like the most.
So, in the case of your mother and father, there was most likely an unrecognized attraction that actually caused some fear (“I want this but I can’t allow myself to want it”). So, your mother felt drawn to your father but had some fearful beliefs around relationships, men or love and didn’t recognize it as desire. She interpreted the feeling as a negative one. BUT, she would not have given him the time of day if she truly didn’t like him. As he persisted, her fear lessened. He wore her resistance down and she was able to access her true feelings. And that’s when she “suddenly” fell in love.