[Quick Note: I just wanted to give you a quick reminder that the prices of my email coaching packages will increase tomorrow, June 15th. So you have one day left to purchase a package at the old price. Now you can't say that I didn't warn you. ]
It’s time for another collection of short but still incredibly important reader questions.
She’s been trying to get pregnant for 4 years
I have been trying to conceive for four years and my question is how am I supposed to deal with the blatant guilt trip that LOA lays on me (Inadvertently) when I don’t manifest properly? It is heart-breaking, truly. Maybe I haven’t done all the “work”, but therein lies the paradox. How do you stay detached without losing the alignment with your desires? With each monthly disappointment it is harder to stay in a high vibration (and this is the really cruel part) because the act of expecting your manifestation and getting excited about it coming only leads to a more crushing disappointment.
Ok, the idea that it’s somehow your fault if you’re not getting pregnant (the blatant guilt trip) is a misconception about LOA. It’s an insidious one and it’s an easy trap to fall into, but it’s not what LOA teaches at all. The fact that the guilt feels so horrible is your first clue that the way you’re looking at the situation is not serving you. I totally get that it’s frustrating when you want something so badly and you can’t seem to get it. The challenge is to find a way to feel good anyway, pregnant or not.
I wrote a post about this very subject:
I think it will help to clarify the process for you.
Also, take a look at WHY you want this baby. Sure, sure, you want to be a mom and shape a life and all that wonderful stuff. But why do you NEED this baby? What will it bring into your life, emotionally? What is the feeling you get every time you realize you’re not pregnant? What does that say to you about you? How will you feel about yourself when you’re pregnant? THAT’S what you’re really after. And that’s the feeling you’ll want to achieve. When you do, you’ll have made yourself a cooperative component to this pregnancy. Remember though, that the baby has to be ready, too. So it’s not all about you.
Pregnancy and birth are catalysts to massive vibrational changes for women (the process of giving birth causes a huge vibrational shift, in and of itself). Often, so is the pre-pregnancy phase. You are putting WAY too much pressure on yourself and WAY too much importance on this pregnancy. That’s totally normal, but it’s not helpful to you.
My advice to you would be to forget about the pregnancy for a while. I know your mind is going to jump in with lots of fear that if you forget about it, it’ll never happen. But how’s the constant obsessing working out or you? Go focus on something else, on taking care of yourself, on doing things that make you genuinely happy, just as you are right now. It will take a bit of work to wrench yourself away from this topic, but this subject doesn’t feel good to you right now. It’s fraught with frustration and guilt and fear. Let it go for now and get some relief.
You’re not running out of time. You may think you are, but you’re not. You cannot mess this up and you cannot block a baby that really wants to be born from being born. You will be a mom and an excellent one at that. But do you know that this baby that you want so dearly is going to teach you that you can’t control everything? She’s already started. You don’t get to control the timing of this birth. Accept that and trust that it will happen when it’s right. She’s going to be born when she’s ready, when ALL the circumstances in the world are ready for her, and you can’t plead or cajole or bully or feel guilty enough to make it happen sooner. Back off mom.
Can working with depressed people make me depressed?
I work as a self help coach on a telephone line set up for people with depression. In the past 2 years, I have noticed I have struggled on and off with low mood. I have always had anxiety on and off for the past 20 years and can deal with that fine, but the low mood is new. I have been getting the feeling that this is because I am regularly speaking to people with depression. Am I attracting depression into my life by doing this job?
The question of whether or not your profession can influence you was answered in the first Quick Questions Post (the second question, which asks if doing cancer research can give you cancer).
Can working with depressed people make you more depressed? Of course it can. If you’re focusing on their depression in a way that brings you down, it will certainly have a negative effect on you.
You have two choices:
- Get out and get out fast. Get a different job that makes it easier for you to feel good.
- Stay, but find a way to feel good even while dealing with depressed people. You are not serving yourself or them by letting their mood bring you down.
I’ve written several posts on the subject of helping others:
- Why Having Empathy is the Last Way to Help Someone
- Helping Those Who Don’t Want To Be Helped (Doesn’t apply directly, but will make some helpful points)
- Dear LOA: How Can I Make My Miserable Friend Happy?
As well as posts about how other people’s moods or vibrations can affect us and how to stop that from happening:
- Can other People’s Vibrations affect You?
- Can the Negative Thoughts of Others Influence Us?
- How Can We Keep Our Family’s Vibration From Affecting Us?
Essentially, you have to learn to detach from the person you’re helping, and see them as already “healed”. Focus on the best version of them, the happy version and shine your light on that part of them. Everything you do then will serve to guide them back to that part of themselves. You can’t force them to feel better and it’s not your responsibility to do so. All you can do is to highlight who they really are and to offer your own, higher vibration to help influence them. But you can’t be attached to the outcome. You must find a way to feel good no matter how they are feeling. When you can do that, it won’t matter how depressed they are, you’ll keep your vibration high. And, you’ll help them more than you ever have. Not all of them, but those who are ready.
How can I use the law of attraction to learn Japanese?
Lately, I’ve lost all my motivation to learn Japanese. I love how the language sounds, as well as the culture of Japan. However, the language seems so hard to me. How can I use LOA to become fluent in the language?
They key here is to stop focusing on actually learning the language (the studying and memorizing, etc.) and on WHY you want to learn Japanese. You must have a good reason, no? If it’s a passionate reason (like, you love the language, you’d love to go to Japan and be able to communicate, etc.), then focusing on that will re-ignite your motivation for learning the language.
Focus on the WHY and then wait to be inspired to learn. It might take a different form than you’ve been using. You may be inspired to meet a Japanese person who will speak with you. You might take a class that’s more fun. Don’t be too strict about deciding HOW you need to learn the language. There are a lot of different techniques. You may have chosen one that’s boring and hard, just because you thought you had to. Let your desire to learn Japanese, your love for the language and culture, inspire you to learn it in whatever way most resonates with you. You can also visualize yourself learning joyfully and easily. See yourself enjoying the process, laughing with your instructor or language buddy as you make a mistake and actually say something rude, high fiving them as you realize that you have the vocabulary to express your thoughts on a subject, overhearing a Japanese conversation and understanding the gist of it (and later, all of it). See yourself enjoying the process, as well as being fluent in it. What will it feel like when you’ve mastered the language? Do you see how much better that feels than focusing on how hard the damn language is?
If you missed them, you can find the first two posts in this series here:
- Quick Questions About LOA and Manifesting Volume 1
- Quick Questions About LOA and Manifesting Volume 2
Now it’s your turn: Did any of these questions resonate with you? Share your own experience for the benefit of everyone. Also, what’s your number 1 question about the Law of Attraction? Tell me in the comments!
If you’ve found this post to be valuable, I’d love it if you’d share it on Social Media or in whatever way you like. Thanks in advance for your help in spreading the Happy Shiny Puppy Energy.