Managing the Void: When You Seem to Feel Nothing

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by Melody Fletcher on June 10, 2012

 

Before we get to today’s awesome reader question, I have two quick updates for you:

Quick Update #1: Steve Aitchison, one of the creators of the Re-Awakening Meditation Program has informed me that they’re about to raise the price from $27 to $47. If you’ve wanted to buy the program but have been sitting on the fence, I thought I’d let you know that right now would be a good time to go and get your copy. You can read my review of the program here.

Quick Update #2: I’ve shut down the survey regarding the membership site. Thank you SO much to everyone who participated. I got so many awesome responses and ideas, I’ll be a very busy girl for quite some time (wouldn’t have it any other way). The membership site is almost ready (I’ve been working like an inspired chihuahua on speed) and I’ll have some more news for you very soon. I’ve also managed to create an application form for FREE Coaching calls, which you can find HERE.

Now, on to today’s post…

Awesome Jane asks: “How do we ‘manage’ the void and what is it exactly? It’s mentioned briefly in the Jagger post but I need more info! LOL. Recently I came to the realization there was nothing more I could do to manifest something; pretty cool right? However, I then felt a bit, well, blank. A bit in the void. I’ve also come across this feeling when I’ve let go of the only answer and accepted ‘this or something better’. There is absolutely a moment of void-ness when I do this. Does the void lower our vibration and if so, what can we do to work with this? Or is this simply part of the process and therefore something to recognize, acknowledge and be a part of for a while?”

Excellent question Awesome Jane. The Void can be a very confusing time, and one, if not handled properly, that can delay our impending manifestations.

What is the Void?

It sounds kind of ominous, but the Void is actually completely natural. We’ll all experience it from time to time in our lives. Basically, the Void occurs when you’ve had a lot of momentum going in one direction (energetically speaking) and then you stop and go in a different direction. That space between changing directions is called the Void.

Let’s say that you’re pushing a truck down the street. It’s big and heavy and you’re straining and sweating and possibly swearing like a sailor. You use all your strength and push with all your might and you actually get the damn thing to move. Then, suddenly, you stop pushing. Your heart rate is still up, your muscles are still twitching, your adrenaline is still pumping and you’re still sweating. Your body hasn’t had a chance to actually react to the fact that you’re no longer pushing the truck. You may feel a bit floaty, possibly lightheaded and because of all the adrenalin, totally desensitized. Someone could now poke you with a needle and you wouldn’t feel it at all; nor would you care. You’re just happy not to be pushing anymore. This state may last a few minutes or even longer, depending on how hard you were working and what kind of shape you’re in. Even your brain may be temporarily affected, making it difficult for you to think clearly for a short while. You’re sort of unsteady, no longer pushing, but not really yet fully able to do anything else, either.

Now, let’s transfer that same scenario into the energy world. Let’s say that you’ve been pushing against something – you’ve had major resistance. Perhaps you have a fear that you’ll always be alone. It’s a huge fear, instilled in you in early childhood and it’s manifested in various ways throughout your life. Every time you got close to someone, you or someone else would sabotage the relationship, proving your belief, that you’d always be alone, right (remember that the Universe will always prove you right.) But then you read this amazing blog (tee hee) that makes you realize that you are not alone because you’re broken, or unattractive or whatever, but simply because of this underlying belief. And you decide that you no longer want to believe that you’ll always be alone. You begin to meditate regularly and stop looking for evidence that you’ll die a miserable, lonely death. Instead, you start to look for thoughts that feel better and evidence that all kinds of people, no matter what they look like, or how rich they are or any other arbitrary characteristics, fall in love every day.

And as you do this, you start to feel better. You’re no longer in as much pain. You’re no longer as sad. You feel relief. But you don’t feel all happy, happy, joy, joy. You kind of seem to feel, well, nothing. What the hell Universe? Where’s the Happy Shiny Puppy Energy that Melody’s always talking about? Clearly something must have gone very, very wrong. And so, you freak out. You start to beat up on yourself for not doing it right, for not being a very good manifestor, or for being too weak-minded to focus correctly. You keep doing this until you’re right back in familiar territory – depressed and alone. Stupid, stupid Law of Attraction.

Nothing went wrong

The only thing that went “wrong” in the above scenario is that you freaked out. You were in the Void. But our tendency, as humans, when faced with an unknown situation, is to assume the worst and throw a hissy fit. You know, just in case. Because apparently that solves everything.

Here’s what really happened and what would’ve happened if you’d kept your cool: You’d been pushing against self-love and self-acceptance for years. That belief, that you’d always be alone and weren’t worth loving, had A LOT of momentum going. You weren’t just pushing a truck, you were pushing a tank. Then, when you started meditating and deliberately shifting your thoughts to better feeling places, it’s like you stopped pushing. That’s why you felt relief. Pushing a tank is painful (I assume. I have never pushed a tank. I don’t even own a tank. If anyone out there has actually pushed a tank and found it be soothing and relaxing, like a beach vacation in Tahiti, then I apologize for my horribly inaccurate metaphor. I invite you to drop me a line so that I may ask my spa to add “Pushing a Tank” to its list of treatments. “I’ll have a mani/pedi and, um, do you have any tanks I can push? I’ve been so tense lately.” Anywho, where was I?)

Just as your body is desensitized for a little while after pushing really hard against a physical object, your emotions will be a little numb right after you’ve been energetically pushing really hard against something. Stuff is still happening (you are recovering, energy is moving, shifting, lining up), but you’re not entirely aware of it because you’re in this floaty, dazed place.

Your new reality

What’s more, you were really, really lined up with the frequency of unworthiness, which was a big part of your physical reality. Beliefs like that don’t just manifest in one little way, they tend to be mirrored back to you in a variety of scenarios, and the really big ones will affect all areas of your life in one way or another. So, you were lined up with this entire reality based on this belief that you could never be loved. As you then start to shift your energy to a different frequency, that reality starts to disintegrate, making room for the new reality that will take its place. Things that have interested you for a long time may suddenly seem boring. People that you used to have a great time with may become annoying or may simply no longer call. And you find yourself saying or wanting to say, over and over again, “I just don’t care.”

But because you know that intrinsically, you’re a passionate, happy, joyful being, it makes sense to come to the conclusion that by definition, not caring would signify something bad. And it might, if this was a permanent state, which it is not.

Patience Grasshopper

The Void is temporary. Always. How long it lasts depends on how big of a shift you’ve made (how much of your reality will be affected by the shift) and on how allowing you are of the new energy you’re lining up with (i.e. how much you freak out). It can last for seconds, minutes, days, weeks, and in extreme cases, when the individual keeps waffling back and forth between frequencies, months. Once you understand what’s going on, and that this IS a temporary state, it becomes a lot easier to manage.

The problem with the Void is that it can trigger some fears.

Will you care about anything ever again? Of course you will. It might not be exactly the same stuff you used to care about, or it will be the same subjects, but from a slightly different perspective. But as the new reality comes into focus, you’ll rendezvous with all kinds of interesting thoughts and ideas that will ring your bells like nothing ever has before. You’ll discover a whole new level of passion. Let whatever wants to gravitate out of your existence go.

The absence of positive emotion means that something has gone wrong. But it hasn’t. The absence of positive emotion is not the same as the presence of negative emotion. You’re moving from major negative emotion to positive emotion, and when you’re in the Void, you’re simply smack dab in the middle of the two. It’s like you’re moving from a cold water pool to a hot water pool. In the middle, where the two meet, it’s going to be kind of luke warm. Not unpleasant, but nothing to write home about. Also, it kind of makes you have to pee.

The absence of immediate physical manifestations means that something has gone wrong. No, it hasn’t. You have to wait a little bit for the energy you’re aligning with to create that new physical reality, and for your reality to shift to the new one. The more you’re able to trust in the process and soothe your fears, the faster this will happen. As you align yourself with a new vibration, a tremendous amount of energy is being shifted and remodeled into a completely different reality. The actual physical manifestation is the evidence of that, the last step in an incredibly complex series of events. So, just because you can’t see anything happening, doesn’t mean that the incredible, powerful, awesome machine that is the Universe isn’t working overtime in the background. In other words, chillax already and stop checking the pot to see if the water is boiling.

What to do if you’re in the Void

So, what can you do if you find yourself in the Void and you don’t want to freak out?

  • Remind yourself that it’s temporary and that nothing has gone wrong. You’re in between realities, so to speak.
  • Keep meditating regularly if that’s part of your routine.
  • Take very good care of yourself. You may find that you’re being given the opportunity to be on your own a lot (what you may have formerly referred to as “all of your bastard friends abandoning you”). This is the perfect time to learn to listen to your intuition more. It’s much harder to hear your inner voice when you’re constantly surrounded by distractions.
  • Sleep a lot. Take long baths. Read trashy novels. Play video games. It’s ok to do mindless activities if that’s what you feel like. Just don’t beat yourself up for not being more “productive”.
  • Focus in ways that feel good. You may not have anything specific that you care about right now, but you can find general topics that will feel good to you. Don’t reach for happiness or ecstasy. Understand that the lack of negative emotion is the sign that you’ve shifted. Just reach for soft feelings of relief. If you focus on a sunset, or the ocean, or the feeling of the grass between your toes, etc., you’ll notice a general feeling of ease and soothing come over you. That’s more than enough. The specifics of your new reality will show up soon enough and you’ll be busier than ever. Enjoy the break!

The Void can be a scary place when you don’t know what it is, particularly when you’ve shifted enough energy to realign major portions of your reality. But once you understand that the fact that you’re moving through the Void is actually an indication of how successfully you’ve realigned yourself with what you want, you’ll be able to relax into it and enjoy the down time. Trust me, when the energy really starts lining up, you’ll look back on the Void with nostalgia. ;)

 

{ 54 comments }

Angela Artemis|Powered by Intuition June 10, 2012 at 17:49

Melody,
This was terrific. I have been feeling a lack of caring lately myself. I realize from your post that it is because I am coming to the end of over a year of pushing myself like mad on some huge projects. This makes a lot of sense. I now have to shift gears and I’m not sure what the next step is so I am in the Void or limbo, which is what it feels like.

The the third chakra, the Solar Plexus chakra has another “ring” around it called “The Void.” I find it fascinating that the third chakra is the halfway point between the lower more physical three chakras and top three more spiritual and mental chakras. Interesting don’t you think?

Thank you for the great post and for putting a name to what I’m going through right now.
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Melody Fletcher June 10, 2012 at 19:19

Hey Angela,

I’m so glad you resonated with this post! :)

You know, we always think that we have to consciously define the next steps and then line up with them. But that’s really still the hard way to go about it. We can simply line up with the frequency and feel the emotion and the ideas and thoughts that match that frequency will manifest. The next steps will be delivered. We’ve already defined what we want, we can’t help that. We don’t have to keep telling the Universe what those things are. All we have to do is relax and feel good. I’m really starting to get that on deeper and deeper levels.

You make an interesting point about the chakras. I’ll have to have a think on that… :)

Huge hugs for you!

Melody
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Mary Carol Moran June 10, 2012 at 18:07

Hi Melody,

Yes, yes, YES! I’ve even gone through a short phase where I wondered if I was becoming a sociopath! Stuff was happening, and I didn’t feel anything. Finally I realized that “not feeling anything” was opening up space for me to remain clear and centered in difficult situations. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel anything, it was that I could feel compassion and detachment at the same time, where before they had been serial. And my clarity (maintaining my vibration) helps not just me but everyone around me. Yeah!

You’re right that it takes some getting used to. I slept a whole lot for quite awhile. And I’m sure the process will repeat before too long, with a wonderful shift that I can’t even anticipate.

Thank you for another awesome post. You’re the bomb! Hugs,

Mary Carol
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Melody Fletcher June 10, 2012 at 19:23

Hey Mary Carol,

You’re not the first to ask me if they’re a sociopath because they no longer identify with the drama of other people’s lives. But as you said, detaching from that drama is actually beneficial to us and them.

I find that as I reach higher and higher frequencies, the differences become more and more subtle (at first). Once I get used to them, though, they are just as big and bold as ever. The trick is to just have a bit of faith when I switch to a new frequency and can’t yet quite discern the subtleties yet. If I do that, it doesn’t take long at all for me to move through the void and get all the goodness. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Eric Cole June 10, 2012 at 18:34

Get comfortable with the void. The void is exactly where the “magic” happens. Be patient, aware, and don’t forget to breathe!
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Melody Fletcher June 10, 2012 at 19:24

Exactly. Thanks for adding your perspective here, Eric!

Huge hugs!
Melody
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JoreJj Z. Elprehzleinn June 10, 2012 at 18:40

Dear Melody,
I feel so rich after reading the wealth of insight and awareness you shared here about the void and what I call “skilled thoughtfulness” on a what I consider a tremendously elusive and esoteric aspect of conscious reality creation. Meaning the void. Or as Swami Kripalvanandaji has I think referred to it as “action in inaction”. I feel supported strongly in what for me is a new and fascinating void that is happening now in my business and personal life. It is related to a total package of my biggest manifestations ever having come through in spades, and then taking about two years to launch the next package of dreams to come true ,the next phase of my big dreams coming true so much so far and yet now has me in the void big time.

This is the void that relates to some huge dreams coming true down the road of a 25 year vision path. So much came true already but the final biggest phase of that cycle is about to come true, and yet here the void now as rite of passage.

I think that people that read this post should also get your e-book that refers in one section to the time it takes to manifest something. And I would like to say a few things about actually being in the void.

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0D45F6871CB3824C

That link above goes to a video playlist on money manifesting and the 6th video is by an expert on manifesting it who is discussing The Energy Source Behind Shreembrzee – Goddess Lakshmi.

In the last 30 seconds of his 2 min. talk he makes comment about poverty vibration which helps me now make a very fine point about the void that I am working out more by writing this and digesting and working with what you wrote here.

He talks wisely about the vibration of poverty is synonymous with “ignoring”.

This challenges me being a very goal-oriented human being who loves materializing stuff, you know setting it up in the inner space and allowing it to follow its process into manifesting and doing that over and over.

I worry when I am in the void, ( including this one) and get very afraid and very anxious that I might be setting up poverty vibrations by ignoring what I need to do to receive what I set forth.

You helped make it more clear that what I am examining and processing as the content of my fears, worries, and anxieties and other forms of constricting emotions are deeply re-wiring in this void. I feel my life-long chemistry flushing, clearing, and also re-aligning just as I asked my reality to. You have helped me steady in doing this.

I want to be responsible in my connecting here to put forth that when we first put up our personal development website 17 years ago we started with a page that features an an idea I have enjoyed living by, that the only belief that is of any value is that it is better not to have any beliefs.

Even though I am completely not religious I do love being spiritual and when I go up to the nearby awesome Catholic (and Faerie) gigantically excellent building (church) to sit quietly and meditate I usually walk through that room with all the candles where people leave their prayers. And they have that water, that holy water in that stone basin as you walk in so I cross my heart with that and say, “i am a fully realized divine spiritual being and I believe that I have no beliefs. ”

http://elprehzleinn.com/Corporation/bsctenets.htm

That bsctenets link is for reference to the first page we put on the internet regarding the beliefs thing I was mentioning. FYI

OK and finally what I want to say is that in the void which you so wisely it seems to me addressed is the challenge of staying in it until the manifestation has arrived without freaking out and losing it so to speak. Allowing it.

What I have to say about that is that people really should if they can go to you for coaching to make it through the void. Cause she knows what she is talking about clearly. And if you can get through the void you can experience what you asked for starting to show up and you can be thrilled about your ability to consciously create your own reality. You can really benefit from the void process as well since so many old patterns re-wire so to speak.

i Know in my current void, and my previous voids that all kinds of “current life” situations still need to be dealt with. A transition in income for example that was manifested in the void is a void on income while things change and that can mean not having the needed cash to live. And that has consequences that become part of the process. Having friends or family situations and relationships dramatically change due to your (or my) desired outcomes can in the void (is for me in this one, has been before) super challenging as we need people in our lives, and during those times it appears all the familiar people are gone, or not responding the same, and all the new people have yet to appear. Even the unseen friends can seem distant or hard to contact. The one being is always there in the void I can say that for sure. But in terms of all other friends and relatives the void can be tremendously challenging.

Take it from some body that lives this life of consciously creating your own reality to the point of this is how I live to to point of having amazing miracles so many times and yet also a person that knows even now that mastering the void is extremely challenging. Take it from me when I say that Melody obviously knows what she is talking about regarding this and when you are or wondering if you are in the void, hire her to be there with you in whatever ways she can as you move through it and be with it. Because some body who can actually talk wisely about the void in relation to your own conscious reality creation is a rare treasure I know and if you know her through her sites it must be part of your beautiful path to have her on it while you go through your void.

And that is how I feel appreciative of her.

With Love Itself,
JoreJj Z. Elprehzleinn
http://TogetherWithDivineLove.com

p.s. I once was blessed with a visit between my higher self, and the three sisters of fate, fortune, and destiny. They advised me never to wish for “good” fortune. I don’t know how to convey the way they told me that but it had so much impact. The bottom line is that wishing for good or avoiding bad, or even speaking in terms of positive or negative keeps you away from thinking and feeling what you truly mean. So spell it out and stay free of the reward and punishment system in your language please as much as you can.

Meaning free of “good and bad, positive and negative vibrations” and so on. Those vibrations have more poetic and clear descriptions. Use them and the forces of destiny, fate and fortune can rally to your cause with more certainty of the outcomes your truly desire and with the power of the void as asset in your reality creation process.

Melody Fletcher June 10, 2012 at 21:19

Hi JoreJj,

Thank you so very much for your wonderful and kind words and for adding your own, very valuable perspective here. You’ve given me the chance to clarify something here, and I’m deeply grateful for that (and it’s not really as much for you as for those who are reading these comments).

There’s a difference between the Void and “allowing”. When we allow, we deliberately let something go. We hold the space of positive expectation, of joy in the moment, of being totally in the NOW. We love where we are and can’t wait to see what’s next. There is a lot of positive emotion in allowing, but it can be a very difficult state to find at times. I’m sort of reluctant to add even more reading material to this comment thread, but for those who want to read up more on allowing, here you go:
http://www.deliberateblog.com/2011/12/20/the-secret-behind-the-secret-how-we-manifest-reality/

The Void is a state where we suddenly seem to experience a lack of emotion or interest. It’s not deliberate (we don’t deliberately enter the void), but it can be the result of deliberate focus and attention. It’s similar to the state of allowing in that it requires a bit of faith to get through quickly, but not in the way it feels. Allowing is joyful, while the Void feels a bit empty and kind of blah. That’s what makes it so scary. We are aiming for positive emotion and suddenly we’re kind of numb.

Oooh, here’s a new thought: Getting into a state of allowing will pull you out of the Void. Yay!

I love it when the comments are even better than the post. :)

Huge happy shiny puppy hugs!
Melody
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JoreJj Z. Elprehzleinn June 10, 2012 at 23:12

Thanks Miss Fletcher for adding about “allowing” and relating that to the “void”. Truly a fine distinction as they both seem to be somewhat similar in the experiencing I find.

Meaning they both have a similarity in that the “wish” is already set forth, and now the time it takes, and the sequence of events that need to unfold are “happening” even though they may seem to be not happening, not here yet, or other forms of WTF happened to my manifestation and how do I deal with the reality of allowing and the void?

You have helped me and I expect any body reading this post to more clearly know the allowing phase and the void experience as distinct even as they do and may interrelate in some ways as I know they do.

With Love Itself, and peace, and fun, and joy, and pleasure,
JoreJj Z. Elprehzleinn
http://TogetherWithDivineLove.com

p.s. all this stuff definitely works, and having someone who is doing it and knowing about doing it such as YOU is such an excellent experience and I appreciate the high quality way you share what you know and are doing with it here on your site. Thank you.

anny June 10, 2012 at 18:55

Hello Melody,

An interesting subject I am not so familiar with. I can recall two occasions that might qualify but then again, it might have been something totally different.

You know that I lived in Israel for some years but maybe not that I lived near the Lebanese border and there was always some fear of war or terrorism. And then, in October 1973 we suddenly heard the sirens and had to go to the shelters for an unknown reason. Finally we heard that war had broken out and was indeed raging not too far away, on the Golan where we actually had been for a trip exactly one week before. It is hard to describe the feelings we had. Something that had always been in the background finally happened. At the same time in our immediate surrounding nothing happened yet but the situation was critical. Until that time Israel had always been on the winning side in wars, at least after 1948, but now suddenly that was no longer the case. Syrian forces were making progress and not so far away. And one of the aims of our settlement of Christians was solidarity with the Jewish people after 2000 years of trying to convert them, or persecute them or even killing them. So leaving which was still possible was not an option. Then every day life disappears and you enter a very special space which finally ended in surrender to whatever was going to be. It was a very special frame of mind as if everything had come to a standstill. Still we were very focussed on what was happening and watched the news on tv. I was so focussed on wanting to know what was happening that I totally forgot that I did not speak any Hebrew and somehow aligned with what was being said and I understood everything. Until I remembered that I could not. Later Israel did manage to turn the tide and in our village there was no damage but those first few days of the war really felt like another world in which we behaved very differently towards each other too.

The second occasion was really in the final days of our membership of the church, many years later. The church and everything around it still meant a lot to me but from inside I knew that I could not accept the dogma’s and the doctrine of the church any more. There really was no other option than to give up all of that, no matter how painful that would be. At the same time I did not really have an alternative yet. I could not step from one system into another so I really stepped into a void if not The Void for a while.

And I might even be in one now. I feel a great discrepancy between the way I emotionally feel some of the time and where I mentally am. I was diagnosed with a burnout over four years ago because of a very stressful situation I had been in for decades (which I now know I manifested myself but I did not then) and somehow I have not yet fully recovered emotionally. I am slowly releasing things but not all has gone yet so I still experience some of the symptoms you describe. And I feel myself to be in between a very difficult period (which has brought me a lot of insights as I see now) and an unknown future.

Love,

Anny

Melody Fletcher June 10, 2012 at 21:25

Hi Anny,

This is the perfect comment to follow JoreJj’s and my answer to it. I believe in the first instance, in Israel, you entered the state of allowing that I spoke about in my answer to JoreJj. And in that state of allowing, you were able to view the events from a higher perspective, even align to the point where communication flowed more easily (Hebrew was not an issue for you in that state).

But you may well be in a kind of void now, although you probably pop in and out. And extended Void is incredibly frustrating, and then, by focusing on it, we can actually prolong it. That’s when it’s helpful to just focus on feeling good, and leave the details out of it. That really is enough.

Then, when negative emotions surface, pointing out the resistance we still have to what we want, it’s not the Void. It’s the work. :)

I hope that makes sense.

You’re doing so much better than you think you are.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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anny June 11, 2012 at 12:50

Hi Melody,

It certainly makes sense.

Thanks and love,

Anny

Jenapher June 10, 2012 at 22:48

Ok, you’ve obviously been reading my thoughts again,
Melody, because it’s obvious you knew that I’ve been in
The Void for the past 24 hours and that I needed to know
what was up with my sudden apathy. I am SO enjoying
this Void process. As a person who is usually pretty neurotic,
it IS a spa vacation! But I’ve earned it, dang it! I have spent
almost every day for at least a month using a process I learned
for releasing limiting beliefs, then yesterday, I just totally let it all go
and I really don’t care. It’s glorious, but it’s also good to know that it’s
normal, and that all my hard work is paying off! Thank you for this gift!!!

Melody Fletcher June 11, 2012 at 21:37

You’re so very welcome Jenapher! And don’t worry. I don’t read your thoughts. Much. ;)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Elle June 10, 2012 at 23:14

Well thank you Melody. Now I have a name for something I experience…not regularly…just every now and then. I’ve been calling it my waiting period…because as sure as eggs is eggs, every time I’ve had that ‘feeling’ it’s always been just before a quantum leap. So now I get excited to see what’s coming.

Must confess though, the very first ‘void’ I experienced I did ask myself what the @#! is this?

Love the way you clarify things.

Elle
xoxo
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Melody Fletcher June 11, 2012 at 21:39

Hey Elle,

You’re so welcome! And thank you for your kind words. I’ve experienced the same thing – once I figured out what the Void was, I got excited about it. Because once you’re on the other side, a hell of a lot of good crap starts flowing in. Wooohooo! Kind of like the calm before the Awesome Storm. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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lib June 11, 2012 at 01:56

Hey Melody,
This is a really interesting post, and it’s made me look back at a time that seems to fit. It was after moving on from a relationship that wasn’t working, and that had taken me too many years to admit to. I became a bit of a hermit and lost interest in most things. It was then that I first heard about the LOA from a friend who described the process, although she didn’t have a name for it at the time. She made me write down all the attributes of the person I was looking for, and told me that all of her 6 friends who had tried this (they had a dinner party and spent the evening focusing solely on what they were after – no whining) had all found their specifications met within 6 months (some of which, in retrospect, they wished they’d thought harder about at the time :)

At the time I was so rung out with everything, I didn’t have the energy to resist a haircut, so I just went with it. It seemed like a bit of a wheeze, so with nothing better to do, we spent the evening making up my ideal-partner’s-attributes list. He showed up 3 months later and was even better than I had envisaged – and still is :D I think part of the reason it worked so quickly was that I was all out of resistance and had simply surrendered.

Sometimes when you know too much about how this works, it screws up your expectations – you become impatient because you KNOW that it works (you’re just a bit peeved that it’s taking so long). A bit of void time is occasionally what we need.

Thanks for posting :)

Lib xxx

Melody Fletcher June 11, 2012 at 21:43

“I was all out of resistance” I love that!! What a perfect example of how to positively manage the void. You were kind of dazed and confused, but managed to focus on what you wanted. And since you’d just dropped the resistance, it quickly came into your existence. If, instead, you’d spent all your time reminiscing about what went wrong with your ex, you would’ve blocked the awesome new guy.

For those who are reading, I want to clarify – making a list of the qualities of a wanted lover does not create that lover. But if the exercise makes you feel good, then it aligns you with the best version of a relationship that you’ve been creating all of your life.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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lib June 12, 2012 at 00:18

Absolutely right, Melody. The list doesn’t create the lover – you do that over years of sifting. The list just focuses your attention on what you want, so that it purifies the vibration. Then, as you say, if you feel good about your list and as long as you don’t get in your own way, it will show up. And being on the edge of the void, being all out of resistance, is not a bad way to let it in.
BTW making the list felt FAB :o

x0x0x
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Kate June 11, 2012 at 06:52

Wow. This is totally what I’ve been going through lately (especially the “bastard friends abandoning part”). I am getting over some stuff and I had been telling myself that even though I wasn’t feeling good about things, at least I wasn’t feeling bad. But at the same time I was thinking that I should be doing MORE to feel better and make better things happen which led to actual bad feelings… So, yeah. This really helped. Thanks!
-Kate

Melody Fletcher June 11, 2012 at 21:44

Hey Kate,

This is precisely what goes wrong for so many – the idea that if you’re not moving quickly in one direction that you must not be doing enough or are possibly even going the wrong way. Just chillax and let the Universe take care of the details. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Jane June 11, 2012 at 11:39

Thanks Melody. Makes perfect sense.. now.. sigh :) I’d hit the ‘not caring’ and I felt like I was treading water, so I filled it with ‘stuff’ and hey you’re right I ended up bouncing between energies. Of course doing that becomes circular and not pretty. I understand now the void is simply a moment of transition and once I understood that everything made a lot more sense.
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Melody Fletcher June 11, 2012 at 21:46

Hey Jane,

You’re so very welcome! I’m glad this post gave you same clarity. Isn’t it awesome when things really start to click? :)

Happy shiny puppy hugs!
Melody

naomi June 11, 2012 at 13:46

“…i may ask my spa to add ‘pushing a tank’ to its list of treatments”- i love your humour melody, and yes, its great to realise that that empty feeling could signify an exciting time on the horizon! X

Melody Fletcher June 11, 2012 at 21:47

Thanks Naomi! I’m always happy to entertain. :P

Huge hugs!
Melody

Sylviane Nuccio June 11, 2012 at 21:52

Hi Melody,

How interesting that many situations that you are mentioning as example happened to me. Because of my childhood of being bullied I had developed the belief that no one liked me and I had pretty much managed to make everyone around me dislike me, leave me, take advantage of me and all that good stuff :) Hummmm the law of attraction works great, as you and me know very well :) It really delivers what ou believe.

Then I discovered personal development and understood all my problems and start changing my conditioning. Then, nothing. I felt like a big blank. I couldn’t care less if you liked me or not. Got to a point, where, really, I was so happy and content with myself that I didn’t need anyone anymore unless you were on four legs with wiskers :)

To me was like this… I suffered – I learned where the suffering came from – I learned how to fix it – I released it all. Then, only then some important changes started to appear. Positive changes!

Thanks for this great info, Melody,

P.S. I’ve sent you the questions :)
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Melody Fletcher June 12, 2012 at 17:07

Hey Sylviane,

What a perfect description of how LOA works! You lived the contrast, figured out what you didn’t want, released the resistance, lined up with the new energy, relaxed into it and received. Voila! :)

I did reply that I got your mail. Will answer you ASAP.

Huge hugs!

Melody
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Betsy at Zen Mama June 12, 2012 at 00:30

I’ve been in the void where all creativity is gone! It usually seems to happen in the afternoon or evening for me! I never stay there long. My husband tells me to enjoy it. Thanks for your tips Melody!
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Melody Fletcher June 12, 2012 at 17:08

Hey Betsy,

ZenPapa is right. :) Enjoy the void. It’s really the only think you can do. If you fight it, you prolong it. What helps me the most in these situations is to remember that it’s temporary. The creativity will come back. Everything is cyclical, so it must. But it’ll take longer if we freak out about it being temporarily gone.

Huge hugs to you and the whole ZenClan. :)

Melody

patricia June 12, 2012 at 00:32

I have been thinking a great deal lately and just sitting and being still – wrote about this thinking on my blog and then today did a post about Transitions…I have always called the void the Neutral Zone …. I put up the three steps and I will say non-spiritual folks like William Bridges 3 stages better than being in a void….Accountants just hate that void space :)

My partner so wants to retire but with 2008 and no work that year and our big medical debt he must work until age 70 at the least and then we will have very few funds to live on…

I have been in a big void for a number of years and I would like to have some vision about moving on – I thought I was on the right path with the blogs but I guess after 5 years it really just is an online journal and not something I can produce real income with….I just do not wish to “blow” the peak of creativity (age 65 or so) with being sick and homeless

I have completed a lot of due diligence and healed myself a number of times…I wish I knew if I was going to die before 65 like my Father’s family….I thought I would at least make it to 85 Not so sure….I just read a book about a mother who committed suicide so her family would not have to care for her and it relieved her debts…no long drawn out nursing homes etc. It has been on my mind….several in my Ovarian Cancer support group did that – everyone else is dead now except me….

I think I would like to go to a spa with counseling and massage and someone cook for me for a couple of weeks…that would be awesome…I love walking everyday – and today is sunny. Zip is the happiest puppy bar none.
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Melody Fletcher June 12, 2012 at 17:23

Hi Patricia,

Honestly, sweetie, I don’t think you’ve been in the void for 5 years. I think you rise up into the void and then get scared and then slide right back down again. And that’s keeping you stuck, which feels awful. There is a solution to your money problems, but you will never find it while being focused on the “problems”. Suicide is an option, of course, but will it actually solve everything the way you want to? Or would it simply be a way to run away? It’s understandable that you want to escape, since you may not be aware that you have options other than to stay and suffer and just leave. But there are other options. You reached for them with your blog. You let yourself believe that things could actually get better for just a little bit, but then you didn’t give it enough time to turn around and you focused right back on what was lacking. It’s a horrible feeling cycle.

You’re reaching for these other options, still. You’re not done, you’re just tired of fighting. And that’s good. Giving up the fight is not the same as giving up your life. When you feel the joy of walking, of playing with Zip, that’s just a teensy indication of how good life can feel. And deep down you know that, which is why you’ve been fighting so hard. But you don’t get there by fighting. You get there by letting go, not of the joy, and all your desires. You don’t have to let go of those, they are not causing your pain, even if it seems like it. Let go of the fear and let yourself believe that it will get better. What if you find the answer? What if you find a way to let it in? What if you become so successful at life that others are inspired by you? What if all this pain will end up serving you in ways you can’t even really imagine yet? What if you become a powerful teacher? What if the day comes when you’re so full of the joy that you’re finally letting in, that Zip is uplifted by you? Let yourself dream of this vision for just a few minutes, and notice how you feel. It can be hard to let go of our fears. Sometimes it’s the hardest thing in the world. Often, it’s much harder than continuing the fight. But that’s the work.

And you are not in this alone in this. I’m here, the blog is here, the whole community is here. And then, there’s all the support in the non-physical, more than we can all imagine. And we’re all rooting for you.

Sending you hugs and love and light,

Melody

Saurabh Sisodia June 13, 2012 at 13:46

hey mell,,
saurabh here
once again that was a great post.

i just wanted to ask you a question

i want to marry my dream girl.
i visualize daily that we are married and we are happy and our parents are happy too.
i daily visualize that at the night before sleeping.
initially for 5 or 6 days the visualization was awesome .it was pleasant feeling.
but after a week now when i visualize the same scenario the old feeling of joy and enthusiasm is not there. the feeling has faded away.
is this a VOID or is it that my resistance has reduced the intensity of the feeling and the negative feelings have taken control over me

Melody Fletcher June 14, 2012 at 00:28

Hi Saurabh,

It’s hard to say from this information. If you are still feeling good, but you are simply not getting the same intensity as before, then you have simply aligned with the energy of what you want. When there is no difference between where you are and where you want to be, focusing on what you want doesn’t feel like a big deal anymore.

You can fine tune your focus by changing the visualization slightly (see yourself and your wife in different scenarios) and working on it till it feels good. But as long as you’re feeling good, you don’t have to.

If you are actually feeling a tiny bit of negative emotion, then your resistance has surfaced. Change your visualizations until they feel good again.

So, if you’re not sure which one is the case, change your visualizations a bit until you’re sure you’re feeling good again. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

Mary Carol June 13, 2012 at 16:25

Hi Melody,

I went into a void last night, and I’m back rereading this post and commenting again this morning. It feels like I got whacked in the face with something I knew in my Soul was true but hadn’t examined the implications of. The “something true” feels awesome, but the practical life implications feel awful. I’m trying to just let it be, to relax and be with the duality however discouraging it feels at the moment.

Just wanted to let you know that rereading your post and the comments and your comments on the comments has helped. Thank you,

Mary Carol
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Melody Fletcher June 14, 2012 at 00:29

Thanks Mary Carol!

I’m loving the commenters that the blog is attracting. What an awesome crowd this is! I think the comments are becoming just as valuable as the posts themselves. Yay Happy Shiny Puppy Army!

Huge hugs!
Melody

Gareth June 13, 2012 at 16:55

I’ve been in and out of ‘the void’ for some time now. I’ve been ‘making’ money online for over 2 years and haven’t hit the dizzy heights I was ‘promised’ when I began. While the business is ticking over, I sometimes find myself disillusioned and on the verge of quitting as it’s so time consuming. Speaking of video games; I quit playing them 18 months ago because I knew they won’t affect my motivation but now I feel that missing out on these mindless activities is having a detrimental affect on my well being. Thanks, great post.
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Melody Fletcher June 14, 2012 at 00:31

Hey Gareth!

My advice would be this: Go back to playing video games and spend a little bit of time each day focusing on what you truly want (why do you want the business to succeed? what do you want your customers to experience when they buy from you?) in a way that feels really good to you. When you find yourself overwhelmed by work, you’re almost always trying too hard to make it happen, instead of lining up your energy and allowing it to happen. :)

Thanks for adding your perspective here!

Huge hugs!
Melody

Gareth Morgan June 22, 2012 at 16:38

Melody,

Thanks for the advice! I took a step back and thought about the things you said. I left my pc alone for a couple of days and went out and had fun. I went to the cinema, watched tv like a zombie, ate nice food, played football, went clubbing and FINALLY played on my xbox and it felt really good!

I came back to the busines re-energised and focused and got some superb results within a couple of days. Thanks once again!
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Melody Fletcher June 23, 2012 at 14:15

That’s wonderful Gareth!!! Thanks for checking back in and sharing your experience here.

You’re an LOA rock star. :)

Huge hugs!

Melody
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Derrek June 14, 2012 at 17:42

By Odin’s big white beard…..so THAT’S what it was??!

Jesus Christ…..if I had this article back then I wouldn’t have freaked-out about turning into a hippie. I seriously thought I’d never care again, and got worried, and found myself back at the beginning…which for a while wasn’t so bad because I actually cared again, and then it started to suck. And then I got into the void again. And out I went again.

Yeesh…..

Melody Fletcher June 14, 2012 at 18:14

By Odin’s big white beard??? Sweetie, I’m not sure you turned into a hippie. You may, in fact, have become a Hobbit. Check your feet for signs of excess hairiness. Just saying.

But I’m glad that this article brought you some clarity, even in hindsight. Now, when you enter the void again and feel your hippie self calling you, you won’t freak out. Just enjoy the hemp clad, henna tattooed, organic vegan ride. :P

Huge happy shiny puppy hugs!

Melody
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Arils June 15, 2012 at 14:30

Oh my god! So what I’m feeling is called the void. I’ve been using the LOA to manifest a soulmate and when I finally release all my limiting and feel bad beliefs and doubts. I always feel better and relieved and then feel nothing.
No more excitement
No more joy
Now I know it’s just a temporary state! I entered this void last year when manifesting a soulmate and I don’t even feel excited about it. Then I thought I did something wrong and I messed up. Returned back to my former self full and all the doubts returned. I’m still in the void now. Now I know I will be feeling great soon and the nothingness feeling will fade and the soulmate will arrive soon! This feels so Much more soothing.
But Melody , u said on the meditations. Can I don’t do that? I tried it and I just don’t really like it. I prefer just visualizing and writing future journals. Is it ok to not do visualizations?M
Joy
Arils

Melody Fletcher June 15, 2012 at 17:33

Hey Arils,

I’m so glad this post brought you some clarity.

You do not HAVE To meditate or visualize if it’s not fun for you. These are tools that are at your disposal. But you never have to do anything and any technique you use that makes you feel good is ok. Truly. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Laura June 16, 2012 at 09:05

OK. So this is where I’ve been. It’s a shame relaxing into it is such hard work. I’ve been banging my head against walls (figuratively only) trying to figure out my next step, pulling tarot cards for the answer. Shouting to the Universe…”Gimme the answer!” And getting no answer…or I guess the silence is an answer isn’t it? hehe.

And getting past the point of not beating myself up for not being productive, well, that seems impossible, but day after day I sleep later than I really want to.

At it’s core, all of this is about letting go. You’d think something so passive would be a whole lot easier to do.

Reading your response to Patricia by the way was really inspirational. Thanks for that and thanks for another really great post.

Hugs.
L

Melody Fletcher June 16, 2012 at 14:53

Hey Laura,

The silence isn’t really the answer. It’s just that when you’ve tuned your radio to the station that plays only the problem and then you go and listen for the answer, which is playing on a different station, you can’t hear it. So, you get silence.

Sleeping is a way of escaping resistance, so by beating yourself up for it, you’re actually causing more resistance, which will make you sleep longer. ;) Really, it’s totally ok to sleep a lot. And it’s totally ok not to DO all that much. When you find the feeling of what you’re after, you will be inspired to productivity like you’ve never experienced. It’s truly awesome to be in the throes of that kind of passion, where you forget to eat, or pee or sleep. You just ride the wave, not because you have to, but because you can’t help yourself.

It’s not about DOING, it’s about BEING. And that’s a really difficult concept for most people to get their heads around. But you’re getting there bit by bit. You’ll let go when you get sick enough of how you’re feeling. And yes, you can do it sooner, but it takes practice.

So, if you let go because you just can’t take it anymore, but you do it consciously, you realize that you’re choosing to let go and then you watch as the manifestations come as a result of it, it’ll make it easier for you to let go sooner on the next issue. Becoming conscious of the process does make it easier, but you only get good at it by actually experiencing the letting go. And letting go, can be scary. The practice is really about overcoming that fear and the more often you manage to do that, the easier it gets. :)

And thank you so much for your kind words!

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Kat July 1, 2012 at 17:28

So, Melody, we just need to not freak out when the worst case scenario pops into mind regarding our fear of something we’d wish to manifest, such as it not manifesting? These scenarios literally scare the crap out of me sometimes. The mind just goes wild with the crazy things that can happen. This is from where worry stems, yet almost all of these things never come about, not even a tiny percentage of them. It’s just the mind doing its thing, making sure we know it is there by freaking us out at times.
This leads to us creating plan B when we should be concentrating on our original plan, right? When do we know when to give up? Is there such a thing in LOA- giving up? So far, I have only heard about LOAers manifesting things. I guess a true LOAer would only manifest. I’m still working on it and grabbing on to things really tight as a result of fear. I understand that the more easy about it we are, the more likely it will happen. So, just relax? Easier said than done, I know, but it is a pre-requisite in LOA; it is part of the formula, so to speak.

Melody Fletcher July 3, 2012 at 11:40

Hey Kat,

Yes, there is such a thing as giving up. You can also call it surrendering. Usually, it’s when we have created so much pain by resisting for so long that we “give up”. We can’t take it anymore. And then we shift. We let the resistance go. We stop fighting.

No one manifests only wanted things. That would be boring. By moving through life, you are going to have wanted and unwanted things. But you don’t have to focus on the unwanted and make it bigger. You can take them as a sign of where your vibration is and correct. Hardly anyone does that though. Often, we’re just not aware of where our vibration is at until something slaps us in the face.

When the fear comes, it’s ok to examine it. Often, in doing so, you realize the ridiculousness of it (the thing you’re afraid of is often incredibly unlikely or even impossible. But fears are rarely rational). When we pull the monster out from under the bed, we often see that it’s much less scary than we thought it would be and the fear just dissolves. But it’s also a question of discipline and focus. Figure out which scenario you want to have happen and then focus on that as much as you can. The more energy you give to it, the easier it will be to think of it.

Relaxing always good. When you find yourself pushing, frustrated or stressed, you’re holding on to resistance and trying to make things happen (or keep fears from manifesting). None of that ever really works. Relax and allow. Figure out what you really want and then focus on that. It’s a simple formula, but it’s not generally easy. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Peter July 25, 2012 at 09:44

Holy moly Melody! This is so insightful (at least to me right now)

I’m engineering big changes in my life and putting a lot of energy into my, er, energy work. I’ve built up considerable faith and I’m happy to keep reaching for that magic place if only because it feels so good while it all unfoilds.

I hadn’t grasped the scale of what a shift I’m making nor could I work out why I was feeling this way. The bit about being alone for a while, not feeling despondent nor elated either, sleeping a lot and just chllin’ your days away are what I find myself doing. I check in with my Big Pete often and still the direction was to do the same and sit tight.

Your words brought tears to my eyes which I take as relief from wondering why nothing is happening. Stuff is happening, I just don’t see it yet.

Thanks again!

Melody Fletcher July 25, 2012 at 19:05

Hey Peter,

I’m so glad this post brought you some clarity. :) Thanks so much for taking the time to write this comment.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Jace November 8, 2012 at 09:22

Hi Melody,

I didn’t know what I was going through at first which made me really scared, but now it seems clear that what I’m going through is a transition of reality. In my case however, I seem to have lost nearly everything that made me who I was. Even though embracing this new reality is probably the most beneficial thing to do, I just can’t let go of my whole life :( I am wondering if there is any way for me to return to my original reality and re-discover myself? Thanks a lot!

Jace

Melody Fletcher November 8, 2012 at 17:33

Hey Jace,

There really is no way for you to return to your “original” reality. That would be like asking to go back to the second grade. You could try, but it really wouldn’t be the same.

The fear that’s coming up for you is that nothing will come in to replace what you’ve “lost”. That freak out will kind of slow down the good stuff from coming though. If you can soothe yourself and relax into it, the good stuff will show up quite quickly and all of this will start to make sense (it always does in hindsight…) Another reason you might be afraid of what’s coming is that you have this little thought that what you’ll end up with will be worse than what you had. Bu that’s a negative expectation. “What if it sucks?” isn’t helpful. How about replacing it with “What if it’s awesome?” practice that thought deliberately for a while and see if you don’t feel a lot better.

Big stuff is coming to you my dear. Don’t be afraid of it. You’re going to like this, a lot. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Zo March 7, 2013 at 00:06

Hello,
I’m really glad I found your article here. I’ve been struggling with feeling absolutely no emotion for the past week. I recently found out about LOA and I’ve been trying to manifest major changes in my life ( a job in a new state with career advancement opportunities), and I’ve been in love with my best friend for over 8 years now. ( She has been beyond busy this semester at college and literally does not have time to talk to me as much. The distance really hurt. It made me think that this was it, that she finally moved on from our friendship because now that she has a very serious boyfriend I don’t really serve an emotional purpose for her). I told myself all that time that she wouldn’t want me, that I wasn’t desirable, and that there was someone better out there for her. But in the back of my head I kept seeing us together in our old age, etc. Anyway, I recently considered the idea of: What if? You know? What if I *am* good enough? So anyway, I’ve meditated and everything for about two weeks. Now I’m in a huge void…I feel the distance between her and I….and while I *know* it hurts and I *know* I still love her..Frankly..I can’t feel even that… And I can’t feel anything over anything else in my life either. Reading your article reassured me that I wasn’t turning into a psychopath or something, so thank you. I’d have more to say …but…er…since I can’t feel hardly anything at all, I’m at a loss for words.

Mikaela April 23, 2013 at 06:11

Thank you SO much for this blog post. I came across it quite by accident & almost skimmed by it, but my intuition (hehe) led me to keep reading. This void is where I have been living for the past week & a half, and today I felt myself slipping baaaack into the depressing thoughts, which were so familiar that I mistook them for ‘right’ and ‘welcoming’. I’ll let myself be in the void, now that I know the void even exists. Thank you Melody, your blog is hands down my very absolute favorite! You’re a peach :D xx

Kristen May 9, 2013 at 03:07

As if by magic this post appeared. I’d been reading your blog the past few days as I’ve really been digging my heels in lately trying to understand the ins and outs of the LoA. Today after a long long struggle (resistance) to actually this VERY thing, I felt the void. And wondered these things. And wondered if it were wrong to just want to enjoy the “peaceful” feeling instead of trying to reach for ecstasy. Then I set the intention to find out the answer and as the Universe would have it the link for this post caught my eye on the page from another.

Thank you for your entertaining and enlightening writing. You are a gift!

Kristen

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