Does the Law of Attraction Encourage People To Be Delusional?

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by Melody Fletcher on April 26, 2012

When we talk about deliberately receiving our reality, using Law of Attraction principles to line up with the energy of what we want, a big part of that process requires us to focus on a reality other than the one right in front of us. Your bank account may have tumbleweeds blowing through it and your five year old mattress is a virgin, but you’ve been told by us LOA teachers that in order to change that, you’ll have to pretend that you have tons of money and booty to spare. We tell you to keep pretending until you can actually feel as though you already have what you want. And so you do. You stop saying things like “I can’t afford that”, and say “I choose not to buy that right now” instead. You spend your day looking forward to going home to your girlfriend, even though she doesn’t yet physically exist. You make a list of restaurants you could take her to, instead of just fantasizing about going out. You stop feeling lonely and start feeling happy and excited about your life. And instead of complaining about how much your life sucks, you tell people that everything is going great. You walk around with a smile on your face, a skip in your step and a sparkle in your eye, even though nothing has really changed in ways that other people could perceive (yet…).

And then, someone who doesn’t understand the Law of Attraction, comes along and tells you that you’d better “face reality”. You can’t just pretend that everything is ok. You can’t just stick your head in the sand. You have to face your problems, get informed about all the ugliness in the world, and be miserable with everyone else. And to do otherwise, well, makes you delusional.

Does the Law of Attraction encourage people to be delusional? And if so, isn’t that dangerous? If you study the LOA, are you going to eventually end up in a cardboard box, convinced that it’s a mansion, while eating foie gras made of cat poop? And if you are delusional, how would you know?

Deliberate vs. Clinical Delusion

For the sake of this article, I’m going to make a distinction between someone who practices LOA and deliberately chooses not to “face reality” and someone who is what I will term “clinically delusional”, i.e., someone who actually believes they are Superman, straps on a cape and jumps off the roof (I always wonder why they don’t try to take off from the ground. You know. Just in case…).

Deliberate Delusion - is when you choose to find a different perspective on a situation and you then knowingly adopt it because it feels better. It is a conscious choice to shift your perception. And if you have a deeper understanding of LOA, it’s a way to deliberately line up with the energy of what you want.

Let’s say that you’re poor, but you want to be rich. So, you decide to find ways to feel good about your monetary status, even though your bank account is empty. This is not the same as denial. Denial, is looking at the empty bank account, feeling badly about it, and pretending that you don’t feel badly about it. Deliberate Delusion is deciding not to look at the empty bank account, but instead, looking at something related to it that allows you to feel better about the whole situation. It’s focusing on the bills that you CAN pay instead of the ones you can’t. You don’t just pretend to feel better, you actually DO feel better.

Deliberate Delusion requires a large degree of self-awareness. In order to purposefully change the way you feel, you have to ask yourself WHAT you’re thinking and feeling and WHY.

Clinical Delusion – is something completely different. First of all, it’s not deliberate. No one chooses to be clinically delusional. Second, this condition is actually a manifestation of massive resistance. It’s a kind of defense mechanism, if you will. Let’s say that a woman is horribly lonely. She has some kind of belief system that keeps her stuck in her loneliness and the pain builds and builds. At some point, something has to give. Now, she could develop cancer or even manifest death. But in her case, her brain constructs a scenario that allows her to ignore the pain. She becomes convinced that she is married to Brad Pitt. She doesn’t actually shift into that reality – she hasn’t actually changed her beliefs. But she is escaping the pain those beliefs are causing by creating an alternate story. She is not aware that this is a story, or that there are many other perspectives to choose from. She only sees the one point of view.

This is a type of denial. Often, the underlying belief of loneliness is still being triggered. The woman may feel better for brief moments, but the loneliness is still there. The underlying belief is still very much alive and it’s causing the delusion.

It’s also a way to completely escape self-awareness. The woman’s brain has constructed a scenario that allows her avoid asking herself what she’s thinking and feeling or why, because it would be far too painful for her to do so.

Who’s actually the delusional one, though?

Now, when most people use the word delusional to describe someone who is not “facing reality”, they are not really talking about clinical delusion. They’re not saying that you’re ready for the rubber room. But even though they may not consider you an actual danger to society, they do think that what you are doing is dangerous, in a way, to your own life. They operate on the mistaken assumption that if you don’t focus on physical reality, i.e. the reality that you have created with your past vibration, that you will never be able to change that situation. Of course, we (the LOA crew) know that the exact opposite is true. If you continue to focus on a creation and therefore offer the same vibration that created it, you will continue to re-create that same scenario over and over again. Einstein’s definition of insanity comes to mind here…

But it goes deeper than that. When someone calls you delusional, they are not just saying that you should face reality. They are saying that you should face their reality. They have a certain, quite rigid view of the world, one perspective that they’ve decided is the only reality, and they would like you to accept that one. If you don’t, you’re delusional.

But I ask you: If part of the definition of being truly delusional is that one can only see one perspective and staunchly holds on that perspective, even when it clearly isn’t serving them, then who is actually delusional here?

They call you delusional, NOT for not “facing reality”, but for not facing THEIR reality. [Tweet This Quote]

Consider two people:

Bob considers himself a realist. He watches the news every night and keeps himself informed. He’s convinced that the world is in major trouble and feels it’s his duty to make sure everyone else knows it, too. He warns against taking risks, against traveling, against making waves. He rails against the banks, the government and any other group which he feels is sending the world to hell in a hand basket. Any attempt to show him a different perspective fails. And because he only views life through this one lens, he finds ample evidence to support his view, and ONLY evidence to support his view. He’s not happy, but so what? He sees one possible reality and that’s it.

Charlie sees Bob’s point of view. He thinks it’s valid. But he also sees many other ways of looking at the world, and can therefore see evidence that supports all of those views. They are all valid, as far as he’s concerned. He deliberately chooses the perspective that feels best to him. He doesn’t look at all the negatives in the world, but instead, chooses to see how the world is getting better. He sees evidence of that everywhere – good people, finding solutions to the world’s problems on a grander and grander scale. He’s happy and hopeful and looking forward to the future.

Bob might well tell Charlie that he has to face reality (Bob’s reality, that is) and call him delusional for not doing so. But who’s really the delusional one here?

Waking up from the Matrix

In my view, when you practice self-awareness and begin to see multiple possible perspectives to choose from, you are actually working your way out of the general delusion that most people who are still “asleep” are living in. And while it can feel like you’re just kidding yourself when you’re surrounded by the sleeping masses and going against the grain of their general beliefs, consider this: Who actually has a better grasp of reality: Those who are still asleep in the Matrix or those who are aware of it? Remember your answer the next time someone calls you delusional. :)

Have you ever been called delusional? Do you consider yourself to be Deliberately Delusional? Share in the comments!

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{ 60 comments }

Philip F Harris April 26, 2012 at 18:55

Quantum physics tells us we create our reality so tell the skeptics they can have whatever reality they want and that you have the right to have your own. If they want poverty, hatred, abuse, homelessness, war, violence, heaven and hell-so be it, that’s their choice and they WILL get what they choose.

MessageToEagle.com – In our daily life we are not aware that we may, in fact, live in a hologram and our existence is a holographic projection, nothing more.
All what we believe is real, our whole physical world, is – in fact – an illusion being proved by the holographic universe, one of the most remarkable theories of 20th century. (http://www.messagetoeagle.com/holograuniv.php) This article says it clearly but there are many very scientific papers by leading physicists that corroborate this.

So if we live in an illusion what’s the big deal if we are delusional? Or, who really IS delusional? Those who have no clue that there reality isn’t real or those who know that reality isn’t real and who consciously CHOOSE to change the channel and watch ME TV?

Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 02:16

Exactly Philip! Thanks so much for sharing that link. I read a book a couple of years ago about the holographic Universe and it was fascinating. Truly, I think we are all delusional in a way. A really good way. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Jens Hartree May 13, 2012 at 23:07

Dear Philip,

Quantum physics absolutely and categorically says no such thing. I tell you that as a quantum physicist. If you find me a peer reviewed physics paper that backs your statement that “Quantum physics tells us we create our reality”, I will get a sex change and bear you many strong children. That is not how quantum theory works.

A very large part of all currently known science — and, in fact, especially quantum physics — has to be wrong at a very fundamental level for a Law of Attraction to work based on “energy” or “vibration” produced by our thoughts.

It’s fine that new-age people have this nice new-age magical thinking where ill defined “energies” emenate from people’s heads and put money on their bank accouts. People think all kinds of things that are false. But please don’t drag quantum physics into it, thanks.

Philip F Harris May 14, 2012 at 15:12
Jens Hartree May 14, 2012 at 16:47

Read it. I fail to see how a few physicist speculating about living in a “non-real” universe supports your assertion that “Quantum physics tells us we create our reality”?

Philip F Harris May 14, 2012 at 16:54
Jens Hartree May 14, 2012 at 19:24

“Observation”, as it is used in quantum physics, does not mean what you think it means. It has nothing to do with consciousness. Sometimes day-to-day words are used in a different meaning in technical contexts. The theory of relativity also doesn’t have anything to do with “everything being relative”.

In retrospect, “observation” was a poor choice of nomenclature, and is a large part of why a great number of kooks have been able to claim that their mumbo-jumbo is supported by physics. It is not.

When a physicist talks about “observing a system alters its state”, what is meant is simply the following: At small scales, we cannot separate measurement and the system we measure. In order to perform a measurement, we have to interact with the physical system in some way, and this interaction (which is called an “observation”) necessarily affects the system. Consider the problem of determining the position of an object by shooting light at it, and measuring the reflected photons. When the object, say a molecule, is of a size comparable to the wavelength of light, in order to determine the position at increased accuracy, we have to decrease the wavelength, yielding photons with higher energy, which in turn “push” the object with greater force. The point here is that interaction with the system inherently changes it, not that consciously “observing” it causes some magical process.

The “observation” of the particle is, for example, hitting it with a photon. Or a chemical reaction taking place. Or any other interaction. It has absolutely nothing to do with a conscious “observer”. It’s just an unfortunate situation of one word being used for two different concepts. The “quantum mumbo-jumbo” confusion comes about when new-age people then use the one meaning to say something about the other meaning in a wonderfully nonsensical “time = money, knowledge = power, power is work/time, thus knowledge = work/money”-type reasoning.

Jens Hartree May 14, 2012 at 19:50

Oh, and regarding your link: When the second paragraph starts with “Scientists will admit…”, you know you’re in for some prime crackpot theory.

[...read, read, read...]

Yup.

Philip F Harris May 14, 2012 at 20:05

Dr. Thomas G. Barnes
(d. 2001) is Professor Emeritus of Physics, The University of Texas at El Paso,

David L. Bergman
David L. Bergman earned degrees in Physics (Univ. of California, Berkeley) and Electrical Engineering (Univ. of California, Santa Barbara).

Dr. Glen C. Collins
Dr. Glen C. Collins earned his doctorate in Artificial Intelligence and Software Engineering from Vanderbilt University after earning degrees from Georgia Institute of Technology in Electrical Engineering.

Dr. Charles W. (Bill) Lucas
Dr. Charles Lucas earned his doctorate in Intermediate Energy Physics from The College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia in 1972 and then performed post-graduate research on pions at Catholic University in Washington, DC. He has derived a universal electro-dynamic force law that describes physical phenomena on all size scales throughout the universe

I’m sure these guys are crackpots, as are the scientists on the History, Discovery and Science Channels. That works well, words are not what they are. Will have to use that-I bet evolution doesn’t mean evolution. Anyway, we can disagree-you were ‘attracted’ here for a reason-probably to get some of Mel’s wisdom so hope you read and learn.

Jens Hartree May 14, 2012 at 21:55

Regarding commonsensescience.com: Yes, I read their BIOs. You’ll note that their “papers” expounding their highly speculative theories all are self-published, and not a single one of them is peer reviewed. You’re using them to back up your appeal to authority “quantum physics tells us such and such…”, but there is no indication that anyone else accepts their theories. However, the fact that the site seems very crackpotty is not really important to the discussion, because they also don’t support your claim.

Words are what they are, but they often have different meaning depending on context. In quantum theory, “observation” and “observable” have specific meanings that are different than the day-to-day use, as I explained, just like “relativistic” in the theory of space-time means something quite different than the day-to-day use. “Evolution” in biology is also specific, but is very close in meaning to the day-to-day use. You could argue that scientific fields should always make up entirely new words for new concepts, which is done to some extent, but often the analogy to a known concept helps understanding a new one. In the case of “relativity” and “observation” in physics terminology, the words in my opinion are poorly chosen, given the amount of confusion it’s led to.

Now, what am I doing here, since I don’t believe in magic? I have recently been puzzled, that almost every time someone learns that I’m a quantum physicist, they ask the same misguided questions. I’m trying to figure out why so incredibly many people believe in this nonsense about controlling the outside world through their thoughts (by way of ill-defined “energy” or “vibrations”), and why they somehow think that quantum theory justifies this belief.

I’ve been reading here and quite a few other places, and to be honest, it’s making me a little bit depressed about the direction of humanity. What becomes of us when truth no longer matters? When diligence, skill, hard work, and dedication is replaced by everyone sitting on their arse trying to imagine their way to a better world? As superstitions go, I find this to be one of the most destructive.

That is all.

Jens Hartree May 14, 2012 at 22:00

Thank you, by the way, to Melody for allowing an opposing viewpoint on her blog. I probably won’t be writing more here, but I appreciate being allowed to speak.

Philip Harris May 14, 2012 at 23:31

Dr. Michio Kaku-I’m sure he’s a quack, too. Your assumption is that ‘your’ truth is truth for all. What you believe is your reality-without any magic. And that is fine. But I believe in magic and there are many in the sciences that do believe in the power of thought. Kind of like ‘climate change,’ you’ll come around eventually, or not. Your Choice-life is grand that way.

Melody Fletcher May 15, 2012 at 00:55

Hi Jens,

You’re very welcome. I always allow disagreeing opinions, as long as people are respectful in their exchanges. I didn’t jump in because my own grasp of quantum physics isn’t nearly sufficient for me to do so. But there have been some comments I’d like to address:

Right now, I consider LOA more of a philosophy than a science, but one that science will catch up with. I fully believe that science and mathematics will explain all of this one day, and many scientists do, too. To categorically deny that this could at least be possible is to think that we, as it stands today, have a full understanding of the Universe and that all future discoveries will fit into the already established paradigms. Could we not at least consider the possibility of a game changing discovery? Why is the possibility that science and spirituality may one day find a way to support each others theories, that science will find a way to explain the heretofore unexplainable, rather than be at odds with one another so abhorrent (I’m not saying it’s necessarily to you, but the mere mention of this concept tends to bring out the bile in many scientists…)? And while we could consider LOA to be an, as of yet, unproven theory, scientifically speaking, I find it heartening that there are many scientists that are working to find the proof. The fact that their work is considered so inconceivable that they are forced to publish their findings in non-peer reviewed journals speaks more to the limited thinking of the scientific community than their credentials.

I don’t understand why you consider this philosophy so destructive. It in no way advocates people simply sitting at home dreaming the world into being (although that would certainly be a major improvement for many). Even if you don’t believe any of this to be true or even viable, how exactly is it doing any damage to those who do? How is love and happiness damaging, particularly when so much of world is focused on hatred, destruction and intolerance? Can you please elaborate on your statement?

Huge hugs! (everyone gets them, even quantum physicists who disagree with me. LOL)

Melody
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Jazz Rasool April 26, 2012 at 19:32

Right on Phillip!

Innocence, Maturity and The Law of Attraction.

When I trained in Quantum Physics as part of my Astrophysics degree, no discussion was made of the true possibilities of reality creation or ‘illusion collusion’ it related to.

There have been times I look back at my life where I ‘failed’. I did not fail because I did not get reality. I failed because I wasn’t aware of all the possibilities reality had and didn’t choose an unfolding possibility that would have served me better.

I used to beat myself up over those failures but no more. As I look back at those failures with compassion, I realise I simply did not know any better. My intelligence and awareness were not greater than my innocence. As my heart and mind have grown my compassion for myself gave me the wisdom to ensure I chose not to lose my innocence but instead refine it so I could be full of more possibilities, not more restrictions.

Surely as you grow, a sign you are growing is increasing awareness of lifes possibilities and choosing from that greater space of opportunity? Isn’t that greater freedom? If you’re not going that way you’re not maturing. Its in our nature to draw on more possibilities and attract ourselves lives that allow us more freedom and free will to create a more refined version of ourselves and our world.

To attract the best version of yourself and your world into manifestation, ‘Refine your Innocence and Define your Maturity’.

Jazz Rasool

Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 02:19

Wow Jazz,

That was beautiful! And I couldn’t agree more. The more I raise my vibration, the less I judge and the more possibilities and aspects I can see. And of course, the more possibilities I see, the greater freedom I have to choose. But in order for that to happen, I have to see all those possibilities as valid. Otherwise, it’s not a choice. :)

Glad to see you here!

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Veeh Cirra April 26, 2012 at 21:01

Hi Melody,

This is a very important question, “Who actually has a better grasp of reality:those who are still asleep in the Matrix or those who are aware of it?”

Makes me think of what we all do every night…SLEEP. When we dream, it’s really hard to know that we are actually dreaming. Unless we have mastered the art of lucid dreaming. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and feel so happy and relieved”That it was just a dream.”

I read in the Tibetan book of living and dying. That sleeping is almost like dying. Some people who die and pass on to the other world don’t even realize that they are dead. This is especially if they died suddenly. Understanding we shift from one reality to another is just so important.

The best reality is the one we are really aware. And like you say, we start to appreciate the multiple possible perspectives. I really enjoyed reading this.

Veeh
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Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 02:22

Thanks so much Veeh! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

You know, I would think that if someone wasn’t aware that they’d died, they would’ve had to have been at a REALLY high vibration before death. Because in death we release all of our resistance. And unless you were already in or near that state, you’d really feel that shift. I imagine it’s exhilarating. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Cynthia April 26, 2012 at 21:04

Great post Melody,

I like the term, “Deliberate Delusion”. That term implies a decision has been made about what to believe…and that is the whole point of LOA, understanding our ability to choose. (Choosing requires a certain amount of self-awareness.)

To me, this is the crux of the matter with LOA. The ability to understand about oneself… and choose. I am smiling at what I have chosen!

Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 02:24

Hey Cynthia,

So true. It’s all about choices – understanding that we have them, that we have the right to choose and seeing all of our possible choices as valid (non-judgment). It all kind of goes hand in hand. As we become more and more aware of ourselves, we can become more and more aware of the bigger picture. As we judge ourselves less, we judge others less. Etc.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Jodi Chapman April 26, 2012 at 22:10

I choose to be deliberately delusional – it’s a great way to live. This is such a great post, Melody! :)
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Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 02:25

Thanks Jodi! Me, too. :D

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Leann April 26, 2012 at 23:10

While I don’t doubt that LOA works, I sincerely think that one line is not emphasized nearly enough. The “this takes a great deal of self awareness” part. While formally trained people can do this, I don’t see enough teaching around the self awareness work that should happen prior to doing this. When it’s advertised as manifesting your desires, I don’t see pre-requisits mentioned. I’m glad you wrote this article, but maybe some explanation of what’s needed so you don’t fall into delusion could be supplied.

Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 02:28

Hey Leann,

Welcome to Deliberate Receiving!

I completely agree. Most of my posts actually shift people towards more and more self-awareness using a variety of “issues”. It always, ALWAYS comes back to self. :)

Huge hugs,

Melody
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Mary Carol Moran April 26, 2012 at 23:45

Wonderful post, Melody! Enlightening as always!

Whether or not the word ‘delusional’ comes up, many really good people think that we have to be aware of and fight against the bad stuff in the world, or else the bad stuff will win. I have friends who ask me how I can be so happy when the government is corrupt and climate change is accelerating. My answer is two-fold.

I am aware of the problems around me. Those I can do something about, I try to do something about, even if my part is very small. For example, I feel good about not driving a car any more, though the decision was more practical than ethical. I feel good about eating vegetarian and line drying my clothes. I feel really good about rescuing homeless dogs!

The second part of my answer is very Melody (thank you!). My suffering doesn’t help anybody, doesn’t make anything better, and it certainly doesn’t help me. Therefore I choose not to suffer! It’s the ancient pairing of compassion and detachment. Yes, I notice problems, but I try not to give them emotional heat in my universe.

On the physical stuff question, I think my soul is having fun playing the physical reality game. Chairs are fun, a box of Kleenex is really fun! My current existence is giving my soul the chance to play in a physical world, and whether that world is particle physics or wood and stone, it’s still a lot of fun.

Mostly, I try to be a five-year-old. We don’t want young children to take on the problems of the world – why should we want adults to do so? The closer we come to innocence and wonder, the closer we come to our source – our soul. If I’m five and I think a paper bag is a crown, it’s a crown! And why not?

Imagine a world where everybody approaches life with the enthusiasm and joy of a young child. Wow! That’s my world and everyone is welcome to join me.

Hugs for all,

Mary Carol
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Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 02:35

Yay! Mary Carol! I love it! I’m five, too… Well, most of the time. ;)

I’m so with you. Our suffering doesn’t help the issue. But – I would argue that giving our focus to the world we want to create, instead of the one we want to “fix”, will do more to line us up with that world than fighting or protesting.

I recycle, but not because I’m worried about the environment (I truly don’t). It’s not an action born of fear. I just like to do it. It feels good, so I do. I don’t have a car and don’t even really like to drive anymore (I prefer to be driven. Ha.) That wasn’t an environmental decision either, but I like the fact that my carbon footprint is small. Well, small-ish. I do still use hairpray…

I love the point you made. We don’t want to burden the innocent children, but we somehow think that burdening ourselves is ok? Not me. Let’s go play in the sandbox! :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Mary Carol Moran April 27, 2012 at 02:52

I totally agree about not focusing on fixing – my point was just that a lot of really good people ARE focused on fixing, and it’s especially hard for them to let go of that principle. So if it feels good to recycle, for whatever reason, why not go ahead and recycle? Ultimately it’s the feeling good about yourself that’s important, for whatever reasons you give yourself.

I’ll bring the sand toys and you can bring the water bucket – let’s build castles!

More hugs,

MC
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kelli cooper April 27, 2012 at 05:17

Hi Melody
Great post and I think this issue is one of the cruxes of why people cannot seem to grasp LOA at all or why even those of us who resonate with it have so much trouble overcoming the resistance involved in focusing our attention on something else other than what is starting us in the face at that present moment…we know it does not have to affect us but sometimes it does. I have never been called delusional to my face but I know that there are people in my life who definitely do not resonate with these concepts and they probably think I am living in some sort of fantasy world, not facing ”reality”, but what I have been doing is working for me so what they think is really of no concern to me. We can always choose perspective and what to tune into and what we focus on expands. If trying to be happy and improving my life is considered crazy, so be it!
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Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 18:23

Bravo Kelli!

You know, as soon as I completely let go of the fear that I might be delusional (and remnants of that hung around for a while), I stopped attracting people that consider me delusional. It’s just so beautiful. When you can finally totally handle anything people might throw at you, you no longer need to. Gotta love it. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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shibani April 28, 2012 at 21:45

damn ! this is so cool, your statment :

When you can finally totally handle anything people might throw at you, you no longer need to.

so that means if i think im crap, il only keep meeting people who will affirm and validate that or something ? (just asking. am still trying to figure out the LOA :)

Melody Fletcher April 29, 2012 at 00:42

Hey Shibani,

Yep. If you think you’re crap, you will attract people who will treat you like crap. The Universe will always prove you right. If you know your own worth, you will attract people that will know it as well. It all starts with you. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

Vidya Sury April 27, 2012 at 05:36

:-) I know so many people who MUST read this post. “Deliberate” is one of my favorite words because it speaks of awareness, being informed and in some sense, confidence. Oh, I wish my Mom could have read this post. She believed in this. :D

Love, Vidya
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Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 18:25

Hey Vidya,

Deliberate is a favorite of mine, too, he, he, he. Your mom still does, sweetie. Now, more than ever. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Brian April 27, 2012 at 09:01

Hi Melody, ROFL about the bumblebee cat!

We create our reality — comprehensively and with all the consequences, right? This means i have created the government and the state “the world” is suffering from as well. That’s only consequent. If i create the people who appear in my life, where should i draw a line? So i must have created the “bad” stuff as well.

If we are five and we create our own universe with lego or other toys, we can re–create it whenever we wish. Don’t like the town you’ve built? Get a bulldozer, flatten it, build a new and better one! There’s a huge toy box, so sometimes we play with our farm animals and the next day with our matchbox cars. That’s a deliberate decision we make.

Years ago i’ve stopped reading or watching news. They can take place without me. Now i use the half hour for a meditation or some other pleasant activity. I ignore the government and all those oh-so-important events like i ignore the broken tractor at the bottom of my toy box.

To adopt the LOA with all its consequences has something very Zen. Suddenly i can’t blame someone else for whatever may happen in my personal universe. Problems, for instance, are learning tasks. Therefore i wouldn’t say the LOA is delusional, but it’s thinking in solutions. In any given situation i know what i want, how i want to feel, and the gap is fun, it’s an exercise for my creativity and constructive thinking. Honestly, i wouldn’t want to live in a problem–free world. There would be nothing left to do for me since i know i’ wouldn’t be happy without tasks. Just lying in the sun and swaying peace posters is not my thing.

Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 18:30

Hey Brian,

Right on!!!! That’s exactly how I feel. :) I stopped watching the news and reading the paper years ago. Best decision I ever made. And as far as “problems” go, it all comes down to how I feel about them. If something triggers a negative emotion, I become a detective. I sometimes even get excited, as in “Oooh! Something to clean up!” It is, I understand, a rather rare perspective, and I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who would think I’m off my rocker, but they’re not part of my reality, so who cares? :)

Yes, living this way means taking responsibility and not being able to fob it off on someone else. But to me, it’s such a free and empowering way to live. I not only created it, I can create something else. Wahoo! :)

Huge hugs to you and thank you for being here!

Melody

Lindsay April 27, 2012 at 09:38

That comparison between Bob and Charlie explained it all. Too bad there are a lot of people who are like Bob.
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Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 18:30

Hey Lindsay,

There are more Charlie’s waking up every day. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

Anya April 27, 2012 at 12:30

Hi Melody! Great post :) like always :) I was called dellusional lots of times, my partner said that he is worried cause I am loosing touch with reality. I have never felt so “in control” of my own life. Since I got into LOA I have grown so much, changed in so many positive ways. Believed in myself, understood my rights to; freedom, happiness, best things I could ever imagined. Is beeing “normal” staying in the secure limits created by masses without even thinking , is beeing “delussional” crossing those limits and choosing for yourself what works just for you, if that is the case, than call me crazy!!!! Cause I am full time!!!! :)

Lots of Love

Anya

Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 18:37

I’ve had some interesting conversations about this, Anya. I remember one very nice and passionate woman who just could not fathom that I wasn’t concerned about the world ending. She was so angry about the environment and what people were doing to it and she couldn’t conceive of the idea that a mostly Raw Vegan who preached compassion and love would not be a raving environmentalist. I asked her how being angry helped the situation. She had no answer, only that NOT being angry was tantamount to not caring and that was not ok. I explained that it’s not that I don’t care. I choose to care by focusing on what I want to line up with. I think she wanted to slap me, lol. In the end, it came down to her belief that she only had two choices – not care and be a douche, or care and be angry. She couldn’t see that one could care and feel good. But that was her belief. I don’t share it.

And if that’s crazy, I shall join you in the crazy pool. Let’s do cannon balls. :D

Huge hugs!
Melody

Nathalie April 27, 2012 at 18:01

Thanks for this one, Melody. Something I should remind myself of more often. And I’m not sure whether the post or the responses are resonating with me more today. :-)

Mary Carol, just wanted to say thank you this reminder, which is so very timely for me this week: “My suffering doesn’t help anybody, doesn’t make anything better, and it certainly doesn’t help me. Therefore I choose not to suffer! It’s the ancient pairing of compassion and detachment.”

Melody Fletcher April 27, 2012 at 18:38

Hey Nathalie!

The comments often end up being better than the post. :) I still take credit, though, since I attracted all of you awesome readers, he, he, he.

Huge hugs!

Melody

Tony Mena April 28, 2012 at 23:09

I go back many years knowing and believing in the LOA. My problem is that I’ve been footloose and fancy free with using it. Than when circumstances brought me back to it I was so happy cause I knew there would be the change I so needed. But it wasn’t happening. As much as I was writing and mentally saying what I want – nothing. Now, I know my problem is being able to “feel” and “visualize” what I want. This is what has been holding me back. Any suggestions?

Melody Fletcher April 28, 2012 at 23:42

Hey Tony,

Welcome to Deliberate Receiving!

You know, this is going to sound like shameless self-promotion because you don’t know me, but honestly, I think if you read my free e-book (get it HERE), you’ll get the full answer to your question.

Also, there’s an article on visualization here: How to Visualize.

I hope that helps!

Huge hugs!
Melody

Arvind Devalia April 29, 2012 at 09:05

Melody, I choose to be deliberately delusional – and I am raipdly moving away from the Bobs of this world and attracting more Charlies:-)
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Melody Fletcher April 29, 2012 at 16:50

That’s no surprise Arvind! I can’t remember the last time I actually met a Bob. I know they exist, but it’s like they’re in a far off land. Like another species or something. Like, I know that pygmies exist, but I don’t interact with them… ;)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Derrek May 1, 2012 at 21:35

Matrix references. You earn a massive, heartfelt high-five just for that one. Awesome article, Melody! :)

Melody Fletcher May 2, 2012 at 21:50

Thanks Derrek! The Matrix was well ahead of its time, that’s for sure. There was a lot of wisdom in that movie… :o )

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Sylviane Nuccio May 2, 2012 at 02:55

Wow Melody, this post really rings a bell or two. I have lived with a man who was always telling me “be realistic”. Even though he pretended knowing about the law of attraction and having studied it. Except that every thing about him proved different.

Unfortunately “being realistic” is a statement that the media and politicians, for example, use every day, and unfortunately again so many people are hearing this. That’s why personal development and media don’t go very well together.

Thanks for this Melody :)
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Melody Fletcher May 2, 2012 at 21:52

Great point, Sylviane!

I suppose the day will come when the media understand that what we focus on grows. Then, they can report predominantly on the good stuff, and only on the bad stuff in the sense of: “Look, this happened. What do we want instead?”

That world is coming and probably faster than anyone thinks. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

Sameer May 9, 2012 at 07:09

Hey Awesome Melody,

I choose Charlie and Charlie’s angels ;)

Jazz Rasool, Philip and other have really written well (I am also with you in leaving news channels years ago).

I was also going through delusions but, now I am clearer with the help of your article, specially the end “waking up from the matrix”.

Thank you so much once again!

Huge Hugs & Love,
Sameer

Melody Fletcher May 9, 2012 at 17:33

LOL Sameer! I love that. Perhaps I’m one of Charlie’s angels… :P

Thanks so much for your kind words!

Happy Shiny Puppy Hugs,
Melody
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Kat July 12, 2012 at 04:31

Melody,

Excellent post! I have always been delusional according to many people. Like Plato, I have always known we are a projection, like what he described in a cave; I have even had dreams as a child about the reality of this projection and how it is different and better than this projection which is in fact a bit distorted. I would rather know what is beyond this matrix, for sure. One must be very open to consider this stuff and study it further. Most people live in fear; they would be perfectly content and comfortable in the cave, just sitting there. They do not dare go beyond what their parents, friends have told them and what they heard from the neighbors.

And this goes along with the illusion of competition as well. Abe always says that there is no competition. As I understand it, you get what you feel in your life. If you are coming from a place of feeling lack, that is what shows up. If you are coming from a place of abundance and you truly, deeply feel it, that is what you bring into your life. It’s not really what they say is. No matter what they say, you still create your own reality.

Melody Fletcher July 12, 2012 at 19:09

Couldn’t have said it better myself Kat! :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Alice August 6, 2012 at 04:12

Before I get started: A comical excerpt from Rhonda Byrnes’ “The Secret”-
“If you see people who are overweight, do not observe them-”(cut off rest of book-but yes, it really does say exactly that^)

Translation: If you see fat people, do not look at them.

Wow! That is the perfect example of LOA going horribly wrong. People not observing the fat people! Like some freaks, you must *avert your eyes!** lest they give you fat thoughts! Should we throw in a crucifix too??

Now is averting your gaze from overweight people just an excuse to be hurtful and shun the overweight OR deliberately delusional?

Can we not see this all going to far?
Ok, that was from another LOA teacher, but still an example of LOA thinking.

What about the articles about Empathy?
Yes, I heartily agree that you cannot help someone while feeling bad yourself. You cannot help others until first helping yourself.
I cannot lend money to my friends- because I am also in need of money.

However! Empathy has many uses! It cannot be discarded so easily. Ideas of detachment are dangerous to society.
There is a name for people that lack empathy-sociopaths! This cannot just be dismissed. It is important.
This is taking things too far. Lacking empathy is lacking humanity. True care and compassion.

The use of empathy is if you can imagine how they feel– not some vague ideas from words– but really wear their shoes– when you come back to your higher perspective– you can answer their need much better.
With the empathy and compassion the person deserves.

That’s why it’s so much more effective for someone to help an alcoholic with empathy, understanding, real empathy for what the withdrawal feels like etc
Rather than someone like me, someone who has NIL understanding of what that is like– but by employing empathy I can hear them, I can help them better–I can get closer to getting it without actually being them.

Total empathy from an ex-alcoholic would be even better than me–pretending to get it when my imagined empathy doesn’t even come close to REALLY KNOWING and offering true kindness to one in need.

Empathy would stop people hurting the homeless as they got a glimpse of what that poor soul feels.
People lacking empathy won’t know. They might act caring but the advice comes from a pedestal of a happy life so far removed and detached that the homeless won’t hear their advice because it’s too far away from their reality.
That means EMPATHY is the key to truly getting through to those that need healing. Lack of empathy is often the cause of failure to help.

I’m not saying to stay feeling bad, but stay long enough to really understand. Enough to see what thoughts they have available to reach for. Without empathy a person would assume there’s all this good stuff just there. But maybe in that vibration there is none. You need to see. That’s what empathy is for.

**You can’t fix something, when you don’t truly know what you’re dealing with.**

As for delusion. There’s lot’s of worrisome ideas circling the LOA community. Some I mentioned above.

I dunno.. Is Michael Jackson black or white? Was it skin cream or the power of LOA?….

Melody Fletcher August 6, 2012 at 17:46

Hey Alice,

I think this is something that a lot of people struggle with. How can you be detached without being cold and heartless. But one doesn’t have to lead to the other. Detachment, the way I talk about it, simply means not allowing the other person’s situation to dictate how they feel. Because when we let their pain become our pain, we have nothing left to give.

And understanding someone’s pain is not the same as taking it on. Of course, the ex-alcoholic is better equipped to understand an alcoholic than someone who’s never had a drinking problem. It’s very validating when someone knows what you’re going through and doesn’t judge you for it. But it’s ultimately not helpful if that person just sits with you and bitches about how awful your situation is, while crying into their beer because they can’t help you.

I detach from my clients. I am aware of their pain, but I don’t share it. I care deeply about them and it’s my highest intention to help them, and it’s because of this that I’ve learned to detach. Does that make me a sociopath? ;)

As for Rhonda Byrne, I actually think that statement is really funny, too. I don’t agree, but I think it’s funny. That is not “LOA thinking”, at least not the way I teach it. If looking at fat people on the street makes you feel horrible, then it’s time to clean that up. Because it’s not the fat people that are the problem, it’s the way that they are causing you to feel about yourself. And yes, by getting rid of the trigger, you can get rid of the problem, but in this case, the mere noticing of the fat people on the street before averting your gaze would be enough to trigger you. Also, fat people are everywhere, so it would be pretty hard to get away from them.

I hope that was helpful.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Alice August 7, 2012 at 02:31

Glad you enjoyed the humour! :-)
I must admit I’m sure by observing she means focus and absorbing the imagery. Just very comical wording!

You speak of cleaning things up alot… What is that and how do we really do this?

Triggers and resistance just don’t make sense to me. Is there any other way you can explain this because the whole concept—a very important concept on your blog is confusing me (and some other readers) to death.

Maybe run a poll?

Caring involves empathy. You cannot blankly care.

Sociopath….I don’t think so but I also wouldn’t be shocked if you could be one. :-) It is still a possibility…..
They are always the charming ones with good vocabularies and detachment skills.

Melody Fletcher August 8, 2012 at 00:00

By cleaning it up, I mean this:

When something happens that “triggers” you, which means that it causes you to have a negative emotional reaction, you want to figure out why. There is a thought that you are having, that you are most likely unaware of, that’s not serving you.

For example, your boyfriend yells at you and you feel awful. That’s a trigger. You look for patterns of events in your past that felt the same and you dig down and evaluate and figure out that the thought you’re having that’s making you feel awful is “no one cares about me. I’m not good enough.” You could then use ONE of the incidents and reframe it (change your perspective on what happened) until it felt better. The techniques I use to do this with my clients vary depending on how old the belief is, how often it manifests, how BIG the emotional reaction is, etc. Some can be done in minutes, and some take weeks to process fully. But essentially, you are shifting your perspective. This is why I publish the coaching calls in them membership site (will offer them for individual sale soon). So people can see how to shift beliefs and “clean up ” their vibration. There’s no one technique that covers everyone. When I write a book, I may try to include as many as possible. Not sure yet.

Ok how about this: I teach empathy without attachment. Better?

Fine. You got me. I’m a total nut job, lol. Don’t we make a great pair? 8)

Huge hugs!

Melody
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Alice August 9, 2012 at 02:02

Ok cool. One day I’ll find a “cleaning up” techique that will finally click with me.

So far trying to dig for that root and figure it out just complicates things and makes me remember more bad stuff.

Oh, you ain’t got a smidge of my crazy level si-tar! *head wiggle* But that’s a good thing.
Or maybe you are even crazier because you don’t get caught as often. The diabolicalness!

Melody Fletcher August 9, 2012 at 16:54

Buwahahahaha!

tony February 2, 2013 at 02:09

A little late response but now is the time it manifested for me.
And I promise I tell you the truth.

I was watching news everyday, too. I wanted to be informed. And I warned others too.
I was worrying endlessly. I was arguing endlessly. I was smoking endlessly. Every morning I saw memories of people doing wrong to me, building up resentment but I didn’t pay attention. I was doubting endlessly. My relationship with my fiancee deteriorated because she didn’t like being present when I was arguing with other people for the “truth”. Hate and criticism was the antidote to anything.

I tried to meditate and I couldn’t let my abs loose from tension. When I was trying to ask for something, mood swings occured and tension appeared for no apparent reason. My upper back ached. Bit by bit it was getting clear that something was going wrong. I tried to exercise and I didn’t have energy to complete a warm up session.

After some trials to meditate and a little beating on me to exercise I started to understand that my energy was depleted and I was acting like a zombie, only doing things that didn’t require effort. Just repeating tasks on autopilot.

I took many different courses of action which I will not mention in order not to advertise anyone, many of these had to do with LOA or what others called Law of Creation (instead of attraction). I also insinsted on learning on the work of the subconscious mind and I started monitoring my thoughts and challenging my beliefs.

All did well until one day I collapsed. I needed about 18 hours of sleep every day staying awake at night, I was shouting first thing when I woke up and I felt seriously depressed. Like this change was the worst scenario ever. I had to make it day after day for almost two weeks seeing the world in code, crying. Books ordered never arrived, none of my friends was answering phonecalls, I ordered food-they were telling me it had been delivered but apparently to someone else. A nightmare. Nothing was working.

Then, everything changed. Like magic. I won’t get into more details as this comment is already too long, but beliefs (which I had read that were long repeated thoughts ) started changing almost with no effort as my energy started to raise. Especially my belief (that aggression had to occur if two cars would avoid an accident in the nick of time) was totally eliminated by itself (and that happened when I carelessly opened my car’s door when another car was passing by and my thoughts were flowing in slow motion in front of me-how the other person was expected to respond). I even played 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12 sequence in keno (which is not expected, people usually expect diversity in the outcomes between the 80 available numbers) and I started seeing half of them appearing.

To close this comment, I would say that if someone has manifested this article into his reality by chance (I mean he is not a loa freak or a new age hobbyist) then perhaps he should give this thing a second thought. Perhaps it was not mere chance.

Melody Fletcher February 3, 2013 at 23:15

Hey Tony,

Thanks for sharing your awesome experience!!! I love your story! It’s always so much easier to see the sense of it in hindsight…

And, you’re right, nothing happens by chance. But then, I’m an LOA freak, lol.

Huge smooshy hugs,

Melody
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