How To Be A Vegan Without Being A Douchebag

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by Melody Fletcher on March 15, 2012

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I’m not a Vegan. I’m not even a Vegetarian. I’m an Intuitive Eater – I eat whatever my body tells me to. At this time, and for more than a year, my diet has been predominantly RAW Vegan (for 4 months last year I ate 100% RAW). I haven’t had dairy, chicken or beef in all that time. My diet consists of mostly raw foods and some cooked veggies, plus the occasional piece of fish and even less occasional egg. But I would never call myself a Vegan. Why not? Because first of all, I don’t consider myself a Vegan – if I want a steak, I’ll have a steak. I just don’t happen to want one. And second, I don’t want people shrinking away from me as though I were covered in poo.

I’d like to make it clear that there are many wonderful Vegetarians and Vegans out there who are perfectly nice people and who do not fall under the description I’m about to give. If you’re one of these wonderful plant munchers, I’m not talking about you, okay? But we’ve all met that dedicated Vegan, that judgmental, condescending herbivore who not only has made the choice to no longer partake of animal products in any way, but has made it his mission to ruin that pleasure for all others. These are the people who will sit across from you at the dinner table, eyeing your steak as though it was covered in maggots and ask you if you’re aware that you’re eating a corpse. These are the people who will refer to eggs as “chicken fetuses” and who will lecture you on how your decision to put cheese on your toast is directly responsible for the loss of an acre of Rainforest. I’m talking about the Vegan Douchebags.

This post isn’t so much for the Douchebag (who can’t hear me anyway and doesn’t want to), but for those who have to suffer in his presence. I’d like to give an explanation of why perfectly normal people turn into Veggiesnobs, how to deal with them (without slapping them), and how, if you would like to veggify your diet, you can avoid becoming one.

Douchebag Cause Nr. 1: Insecurity

Many Vegans and Vegetarians (not all…) don’t actually WANT to give up Meat & Co. They just think that they have to. And while they are trying to convince themselves that they’ve made the right choice for their health and/or the planet, they would secretly like nothing more than to sink their teeth into a juicy burger. You’ll see this a lot with former carnivores who have been “converted” by their girlfriends or boyfriends. On the outside, they talk the talk, but on the inside, they’re doing it for all the wrong reasons. Why do you think there are so many vegetarian foods that try to mimic meat? Why would the market demand healthy food that tries to imitate unhealthy food (and by doing so, almost always becomes unhealthy in the process)?

Your diet shouldn’t be determined by guilt, shame or fear. All of those emotions feel horrible, and what have we learned so far, boys and girls? That’s right. That nothing is as important as feeling good. And anything that doesn’t feel good doesn’t serve you. So, if eating a steak makes you feel guilty, but you secretly want to eat that steak, then the thought of steak is going to feel horrible. The reason it feels horrible is not because steak is bad for you, but because of the discord in the thoughts you have about it. When you stop having steak, you’re changing from “I shouldn’t have steak/I really want steak” to “I’m not going to have steak/I still really want steak”. You haven’t gotten rid of that discord and the negative emotions may have slightly changed, but they haven’t gone away. You’re still thinking thoughts that aren’t serving you.

When you’re having dinner with a Vegan Douchebag, and they begin to berate your choice of meal, realize that they’re most likely simply looking for validation. They’re not really happy with denying themselves something they secretly want, and instead of admitting that, they’re trying to validate their choice by getting you to join them. The more adamantly he berates your choice, the more he wants your steak.

Douchebag Cause Nr. 2: We have to save the planet/the animals/the world

A great many Vegans and Vegetarians have made the choice to stop eating meat and all related foods because they have a strong belief that by doing so, they are saving the planet. Sure, there are many arguments to be made. Cattle ranchers are greatly responsible for the deforestation of the Rainforest. It can be argued that cow farts (methane gas) are at least in some part a cause for global warming. We also have a responsibility to save the poor, defenseless animals, that are treated and killed with cruelty. And all of these arguments are valid. I’m not in favor of the way animals in slaughterhouses and chicken farms are treated. You won’t see me in the rainforest, cutting down trees. There’s nothing wrong with caring about Bambi and his forest.

And yet, I still don’t agree with the Vegan Douchebag who blames those who eat meat for destroying the planet. Why not? Because to do so would mean that I believe that others have the power to determine our reality. And I don’t. If you truly create your own reality (and you do), then no one but you has the power to affect that reality, unless you let them. This means, that if you adjust your focus to only include a safe world with happy animals, then that’s what you’re going to line up with. You can’t control everyone in the world. You can’t control all realities, dimensions and Universes. You can only control which reality you line up with. And as we know, the Law of Attraction states that whatever you focus on is included in your reality. So, if you focus on mistreated animals and a destroyed environment, then that’s what you’re giving your attention to. Denying yourself and others meat, while being angry at those who refuse to eat Tofu, still keeps your focus on the unwanted. You’re giving your attention to the wrong damn thing and the fact that you’re so angry is a clear sign of that.

You either create your own reality or you don’t. And the same goes for every other living thing – animals, plants, the whole planet. Just as you can’t save other people by feeling bad for them, you can’t help animals or the planet with an angry, bleeding heart. That doesn’t meant that you can’t help others, animals or the environment, but not by going around slapping the cheeseburgers out of people’s hands and yelling at them to “Stop ruining the planet you murderer!” There’s another way.

Why to stop eating meat (or not)

The only reason to stop eating meat (or doing anything else), is because it feels right to you. If your body doesn’t want to eat meat or cheese or dairy, if the thought of a chicken nugget grosses you out, then by all means, don’t eat those things. If you don’t feel good while wearing leather shoes, don’t buy them. But it’s your choice. It’s your reality.

When you fully realize that whatever you push against gets included in your reality, and you start to pay attention to how you feel, you begin to understand that vilifying those who eat meat isn’t serving you. And yet, you’d like to find a way to line up with a world where animals aren’t mistreated and the rainforest is getting bigger instead of smaller. I’d like to offer a better feeling perspective.

The Solution: Individual Choices from a place of connection

For me, the solution to all of this is true, individual freedom. That means, if you want a damn steak, have a steak. However, as we begin to wake up and raise our vibration, a few things are going to happen on an increasing basis.

We will begin to listen to our bodies more and feed them properly. When you eat only what you truly resonate with, you realize that foods that have been contaminated with chemicals no longer look or taste good. You begin to look for higher quality foods, including animal products that come from happy cows and chickens. As you begin to feed your body properly (no more foods that your body has to stay alive in spite of, and more foods that truly nourish your body) you will not only feel much better, raising your vibration further, but you will begin to eat less. The only reason we eat so much in our society is because our bodies aren’t getting the nutrition they need and they keep screaming for more food. Less food means less impact on the world and more balance with nature. As people begin to care more about themselves and feel their connection to everything, they will think more about how to conserve the environment, NOT because of guilt or necessity, but simply because you treat that which you love differently than that which you hate or don’t care about.

You can’t guilt people into caring about the planet. (Tweet This)

And you don’t have to. A connected person will care automatically.

As balance is restored and farming and animal husbandry return to sustainable ways which work WITH nature instead of against it, it won’t matter if someone eats meat or not. Everyone will be free to eat what they want and because they are listening to their bodies, they will never consume too much or too little.

Line up with the vision of what you want

The main reason that many people would consider this beautiful vision to be unrealistic is because they’re still hung up on the idea that other people have the power to affect their reality. But they don’t, unless we give them that power. Personally, I choose to line up with the vision I described. Interestingly, as I’ve raised my vibration more and more, my food choices conformed with this vision quite naturally. I stopped eating processed foods and chemical additives – not because I thought I should, but because I no longer liked them. I stopped eating meat – not because it made me feel guilty to do so, but because veggies just looked so much better. I stopped drinking milk, not because I think that doing so will save the planet, but because the mere thought of milk kind of grosses me out (and always has, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself).  Instead of running AWAY FROM Meat and dairy, from foods that didn’t feel good for whatever reason (including losing weight, BTW), I ran TOWARDS the foods that felt better. I listened to by body and increasingly gave it what it wanted and nothing that it didn’t want. And I’ve noticed that a lot of other people who are consciously raising their vibration have done the same.

When I go to dinner with a friend and he orders steak, I have no issue with that. I hope he enjoys it. If I wake up tomorrow and want some beef, I will have some. I’ll go and find a butcher that sells beef from happy, healthy cows, but I will give my body what it wants (including the quality that it wants). I make sure that I feel good about what I eat and that I eat what I feel good about. I deny myself nothing. I keep my vision firmly on the reality I want to line up with – one of balance, of free choice where no one has to do anything they don’t want and everyone honors their own wishes. And I know that I can’t get to that realty by taking away other’s right to choose, even if I don’t agree with their choices. What reality are you lining up with?






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{ 36 comments }

Amber March 15, 2012 at 21:29

This is very interesting that you wrote about this. One time I remember thinking about you after reading some other post of yours and I briefly thought, “I wonder what she eats?”
I think there is a huge connection with people in a higher vibration and being/eating healthy. I was struggleing majorly with my food choices and my health and how I wanted to live. I finally made the decision to go on a juice fast to retrain my body to crave healthier foods. It has totally worked. I’m less depressed, I’m happier with myself, I’m in a higher place in my life now. I’m more motivated to do the things I really want to do. For me, I don’t think it could/would have been possible to be in a higher vibration without having changed my eating habits. I still have a ways to go but there is beauty in the journey! Thanks for sharing with us. And you are sooo funny!

Melody Fletcher March 15, 2012 at 23:29

Hey Amber,

I totally believe that higher vibrations and a cleaner, high-energy diet go hand in hand. When we raise our vibration, it causes us to notice how things affect us more and we begin to make better choices. And, when we eat healthier foods that resonate more with us, it supports the raising of our vibration. When we do a cleanse, we don’t just cleanse physically, but emotionally, too. It helps us to let go of resistance and our vibration goes right up. I find the correlation fascinating but have observed it too often to miss the connection.

Thanks for your wonderful words!

Hugs hugs!
Melody
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Agota March 15, 2012 at 23:35

As an ex-vegetarian, I have to say that at least in my experience, Omnivore Douchebags were way more common (well, probably because I wasn’t a target for Vegan Douchebags). I was a vegetarian for two years, at first because of ethical reasons, then because I didn’t see meat as food anymore (it wasn’t disgusting to me, just didn’t seem like something eatable). I got an impression that when people hear that you’re a vegetarian, they immediately receive a PhD in Nutrition Science, which allows them to lecture you about the evils of vegetarianism using the phrases they heard in 8th grade biology lessons (“You need proteins!”). Also, I’ve discovered that as long as you’re an omnivore, there might be many reasons why you’re feeling sick, but when you’re vegetarian, there’s only one reason: you don’t eat meat. I was like “Just let me eat my salads!”. Oh, that was annoying.. My point is that this non-sense goes both ways.. :D

Anyway, I gave quite a lot of thought to the issue of meat industry in the past and I came to several conclusions..

1. I think that the main issue from an ethical perspective isn’t that people eat meat. I think the main issue is the way that meat factories treat animals. I would have a completely different attitude towards meat which comes from happy animals that were kept in good conditions and treated with love and respect.

2. I think that the main issue from health perspective isn’t that people eat meat. I think that the main issue is the way meat factories pump animals with hormones and then bathe their meat in chemicals. I highly doubt that truly organic meat is unhealthy if it’s a part of a balanced diet.

3. I think that since meat factories are both horrible places that treat animals very bad and public health hazards at the same time, it’s entirely possible to take them down over the course of several decades if this issue would be approached in an organized and strategic manner. In my opinion, once meat factories as they are today are made illegal, at least 80-90% percent of the problem is gone, from ethical, health and environmental perspectives.

4. Too bad that most vegans and vegetarians who really care about animals spend their time calling people who eat steaks murderers instead of actually solving a problem.

I agree that people spend way too much energy focusing on the problem itself and way too little energy focusing on finding an actual solution.

Melody Fletcher March 16, 2012 at 00:07

Hey Agota,

You’re so right! Meat eaters can be just as douchey as vegans/vegetarians. And I love how you pointed out that if you don’t eat meat and don’t feel good, it’s all blamed on a lack of protein. That is one of the biggest and most pervasive myths about food today: First of all, that we need GOBS of protein, and second that we have to eat meat or even Tofu in order to get it. How do people think horses get to big and strong? They eat hay and get all the protein they need. Also, muscle is primarily built from carbohydrates, not protein, so the idea that eating lots and lots of protein makes us stronger is bull.

I agree with 1-4. I’ve eaten meat from really happy animals and it’s SOOOOO different. It tasted different, smelled different, reacted differently when cooked. My grandmother used to tell me that meat, chicken, pork, eggs, and milk were completely different when she was a child. Butter, too. I totally believe it. Now, everything but milk, just doesn’t appeal to me. Milk grosses me out. I’m not sure if I’d feel the same way about raw milk, but I don’t have access to that.

I think that if people begin to demand higher quality foods, and stop buying the low quality stuff (not just the animal products) the market will take care of itself. I don’t mind if animal cruelty becomes illegal, but I think it only will after the general populace has stopped supporting this way of producing food. :)

Thanks so much for your sharing your valuable point of view!

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Arvind Devalia March 16, 2012 at 01:35

Agota, you summed it perfectly:- Far too many people spend way too much energy focusing on the problem itself and way too little energy focusing on finding an actual solution.

As Melody says time for everyone to focus on their own vibration and on creating their own reality – which may or may not include a meat based diet.

Melody, thanks for another outstanding post – you rock!
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Melody Fletcher March 16, 2012 at 23:27

Thanks so much Arvind!

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Philip F. Harris March 15, 2012 at 23:48

We once raised our own pigs/cows for meat; chickens, goats for eggs, milk cheese. I killed pigs, cows, chickens. We got over eating most meat; from baby to shot in the head just wasn’t working. From newborn goats in the bed if it was too cold to Easter sales, stopped working. I think anyone who wants to eat meat, which is very inefficient energy, should do so. But, they should also have the experience of the babies to the slaughter and then see how you feel.
So yes, “If you truly create your own reality (and you do), then no one but you has the power to affect that reality, unless you let them. This means, that if you adjust your focus to only include a safe world with happy animals, then that’s what you’re going to line up with. You can’t control everyone in the world. You can’t control all realities, dimensions and Universes.” But you can control you corner of the Universe and in the end, that’s all that really counts!

Melody Fletcher March 16, 2012 at 00:09

Oh wow Phil, you make a powerful point. I don’t think I could slaughter my own cow or pig. I could pick up eggs, though… :) Perhaps that should be the rule – only eat what you’d be willing to “collect” yourself in nature. I could catch a fish, too, and I do occasionally eat seafood (like, once every three months…)
I could also kill some grapes. So the champagne I drink once a year is ok, too. He, he.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Leace March 16, 2012 at 00:08

I really enjoyed reading this! It was the first time I have read anything you wrote, but I don’t think I came by this article by “accident” either!! What it reminded me of….is right after I read the book “The Secret”, I was looking online and saw that someone wrote an article about it. This person said, (in a nut shell) that “The Secret” was fake. That the law of attraction was real, but the book was fake. One of the things she said was that in the book they said something about people that say, “I eat whatever I want” and then actually lose weight. She said it is impossible for someone to eat whatever they want and still lose weight!

My guess is that she hasn’t made some of the “connections” yet. If you are striving to be healthier, then “all you want to eat” is most likely going to be healthy. Its so simple, but some people make it so complicated.

Thank you for sharing this. I have made so many changes in my diet since I have started this journey, but I got caught up in other people beliefs that I totally forgot to look inside to see what I needed or what I believed in! So, you just made my day much brighter….thank you!!

Melody Fletcher March 16, 2012 at 23:00

Hey Leace!

Welcome to Deliberate Receiving!

You make a really excellent point. When we say “You can eat whatever you want and still lose weight”, it’s theoretically true. When you line up your energy with losing weight, you will naturally eat in a way that facilitates that for you (since everyone is different) and doesn’t feel like deprivation. I eat chocolate every day. It’s raw cacao and it’s more delicious than any chocolate I used to eat (and I only bought the best). When I first figured out that I could eat food that tasted DIVINE that was actually really good for me, it was an epiphany. We’ve been sold this horrible lie that food that’s healthy has to be bland and nasty, like Tofu and Rice Cakes and weird powdered shakes, and food that tastes good has to be unhealthy and fattening. Only, once you get away from manufactured and processed “healthy” foods and get back to real food, that theory falls apart.
I’m a total foodie. I LOVE food. I won’t eat anything that doesn’t taste good. And I have an extremely healthy diet by most people’s standard. I don’t count calories or fat grams. I eat when I’m hungry and I rarely have cravings (and when I do, it’s for something I need, like Spinach or an avocado). I eat whatever I want and my weight is stable. What I want has changed drastically, but I didn’t give anything up. In fact, I enjoy my food more than ever. But that very concept is incredibly hard for most people to understand. They assume that when someone says that they don’t feel deprived, that they’re in denial. That they’re lying. Because many people are. But it really is possible to eat wonderful food, to love every bite, and to be healthy and not worry about weight anymore.

I’m in the last phases of writing a book on this very subject, so I can go on and on. But I’ll stop here, or no one will have a reason to come back… LOL.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Mary Carol March 16, 2012 at 02:35

Hi Melody,

I agree with Philip. I’ve been a vegetarian, though never a militant one, for several years. Many years ago I met an amazing man who had been a civil rights activist, the first black sheriff in Alabama and later a judge. He told me he hadn’t liked the way his father slaughtered pigs, so he took over doing the task respectfully at age ten. To me, that is a good definition of an ethical meat-eater. I also respect hunters who kill and eat the whole animal with a degree of reverence.

My vegetarian path started with emotion, not wanting to eat anything with eyes (just potatoes!). Within 24 hours of stopping eating meat, my body felt so fantastic that I knew it was the right choice for me. Everyone finds their own path, and it’s all good.

Hugs,

Mary Carol
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Melody Fletcher March 16, 2012 at 23:04

Hey Mary Carol,

I’m with you guys. I wouldn’t want to kill for my own food, but have no problem with the food chain. As long as animals are kept in a healthy way and killed humanely (no undue suffering).

This is a great point that illustrates that there’s no one approach that works for everyone: I’ve known people that went off meat as a test and just couldn’t function. While others thrive, like you did. There was a time in my life, years ago, when I tried to go vegetarian (mostly for weight reasons) and I felt awful. This wasn’t just detox, I’m familiar with those symptoms. I never recovered. I felt weak and sick and dizzy. It was not the right diet for me at the time. Later, I just gravitated away from meat and never looked back. The key is to listen to our bodies and what they want and need and we’ll never go wrong. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Sameer March 16, 2012 at 08:25

Bang On, you hit bulls eye Melody…

Very nicely written with all the spices in it :)

Well. Even I have something to share about people around me;

The reason why people (most of them & not all) veggie is because of their religion and not by choice. People who go by religion will not prefer restaurants or hotels where veg non-veg both served at one place. They will have problem in office because, pantry boy will warm up food (veg & non-veg) in same oven or serve in the same plates (plates are not divided by green or red color). A non-veggie can’t touch the plate of veggie.

But, these issues are not with people who choose to eat what they want to. People who are food lover will never think of these things and the global issues.

All said and done I believe, food shouldn’t be wasted not because, we will not have anything to eat one day but, it doesn’t suites humanity.

Huge Hug,
Sameer :)

Melody Fletcher March 16, 2012 at 23:16

Wow Sameer,

That’s a great point that I hadn’t considered at all. Many people restrict their diets due to their religions. Religions used to take the role of government in societies and they came up with ways to keep the populace safe.So, these dietary restrictions were invented to keep people safe from spoiled food. Even the Catholic’s Lent is a way to detox the body every year, as well as give the house a good cleaning, all designed to discourage disease. Jewish kosher laws were designed to avoid food poisoning, for the most part. The way the Muslims and Jews slaughter their animals allows for healthier meat (the animals bleed out, preventing the adrenalin from circulating through the body and into the meat). A lot of these rules are good, common sense, and have been rendered somewhat redundant by better hygiene. I say somewhat, because thanks to overprocessed foods, and the horrible conditions in slaughterhouses, if I were to buy meat now, I’d much prefer to find a Muslim or Jewish butcher. :)
But, that doesn’t change the fact that if someone is eating a certain way due to religious views, but doesn’t feel good about it, there’s going to be discord.

Awesome point Sameer!

Huge hugs!
Melody
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kelli cooper March 16, 2012 at 09:25

Hi Melody
This was a great post. I have been vegetarian for seven years, close to three of them were spent being vegan — a case of the munchies in Amsterdam put an end to that several years ago :) . I can honestly say that I never was, and is not now, one of those types of people. The insecurity thing was very on point and I think that applies to lots of situations in life when people try to push their beliefs one you. Our discussion on Steve’s blog about the kid thing comes to mind — why else would people care if we have kids or not! I have my reasons for eating the way I do and I happily will discuss my choices with people who express an honest interest. If I get the sense they are looking to argue or shoot me down, I avoid that; not because I cannot handle a differing opinion, but because I see it as a low-energy activity — this applies to any conversation that would involve discussing any sort of belief I hold. Always happy to discuss, never interested in arguing or convincing! What people choose to eat is none of my business and my getting all worked up about it is not going to change anything. Live and let live!
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Melody Fletcher March 16, 2012 at 23:21

Hey Kelli!

LOL. That’s too funny. A night in Amsterdam messed up your Veganism.But if that’s all it took to fall off the wagon and if there was a wagon in the first place, then maybe Veganism wasn’t quite right for you. I think it’s best not to stick too much to labels, since then, if you want to eat something that falls outside of that category, you might not let yourself.

I like your stance. I’m the same way. If you ask me what I eat and why, I’ll gladly tell you. But you don’t have to agree. I don’t start that conversation, though, since most people wouldn’t be interested. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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anny March 16, 2012 at 12:00

I fully agree with you here. For myself I am still feeling my way into the matter; what feels good, what does not and how to find a balance.

When I read the part about vilifying and pushing against, it suddenly occurred to me that you might also read this article like a mathematical equasion. When you change the words vegan, vegetarian, meat eating and exchange them with other issues the article would be just as valid. It has value beyond the subject you discuss.

Focussing on a problem is always useless since the energy of a problem and the energy of a solution are totally different.

And where does the word douchebag come from? I understand what you mean by it, but I never saw it anywhere outside your blog? Is it typically American?

Love,

Anny

Melody Fletcher March 16, 2012 at 23:26

Hey Anny,

I think you and I think alike. Mathematical equation. LOL. It’s so true. That’s the beauty of these principles. They are applicable to everything. I basically write about the same tings over and over again, just applied to different situations. That’s why once you really get this stuff, everything starts to make sense. Awesomeness.

I believe the word douchebag is American, yes. I didn’t invent it (OMG! I would love to be able to claim that!) It basically means “jerk”, but it’s way funnier. You can read the various definitions and heritage here: WARNING: THE LINK CONTAINS PROFANITY. Not like on this site, I mean REAL profanity. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=douchebag

Huge mathy hugs to you!

Melody
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anny March 17, 2012 at 10:22

Hey Melody,

I just checked the website. My goodness, more than 200 descriptions! I do not need to read them all, I get the drift. Fortunately I do not shock that easily, but I was a little when I saw that some people categorize all Canadians to fit the description. That is what I dislike most, generalization. Like happens to Jews and these days also to Muslims.

Love,

Anny

Melody Fletcher March 17, 2012 at 19:42

Hmmm. I’ve never heard that said about Canadians. I’ve always found them to be laid back and super nice and awesome. Kind of like the Dutch of North America… He, he. There are always going to be those who look for a group to put down so they can feel better about themselves. I feel sorry for people who discriminate against others. Because of some arbitrary reason, they are missing out on the sheer awesomeness that other people have to offer, on the amazing connections they could have. That’s like going to an amusement park and spending the whole time on one ride because the other ones are “different”. Poor sods, twirling around on the Tilt a Whirl forever…. :P

Super hugs!
Melody

Wayne March 17, 2012 at 05:32

Has anyone watched the documentary “Food, Inc”? I, myself, am neither pro or anti beef/meat, but that documentary will test the resolve of anyone who eats it.
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Melody Fletcher March 17, 2012 at 19:34

Hey Wayne,

Welcome to Deliberate Receiving! I’ve seen Food Inc. Actually, I read the book when it came out and then saw the movie years later. Gross but fascinating. It wasn’t just the meat that got me, but the general policy of waste, chemical additives and the shrinking choices of consumers. It really helped me to define what I DIDN’T want, and therefore I got a better picture of what I DID want, which is a world where good, healthy food is plentiful and readily available to all.

You may be interested in the documentary “Back to Eden”. It’s a bit God centered, but not too preachy and the info on growing food in a natural way is AMAZING! You can watch the whole film for free here: http://backtoedenfilm.com/

Huge hugs to you!
Melody

Jason Fonceca March 18, 2012 at 05:20

Hi Wayne! Nice to meet ya. I had a chef for a year, and she was very passionate about sustainable eats, slow food, and getting up close and personal with the meat. She said if you can’t kill it, you can’t eat it.

She gave me the film — I watched half of it, then I got bored ;) Then I ate her lamb+juniperberry lasagna.

So good. :)

Jason Fonceca March 17, 2012 at 16:26

Great stuff, Melody! I’ve been telling people this in my own, punchy way for a while.

I have a few really good stories about this.

I had one vegan meet me and turn back to omnivore that same week!

Another was considering veganism until I shared what you shared in your post, and they abandoned that path in favor of intuitive eating.
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Melody Fletcher March 17, 2012 at 19:37

Hey Jason,

That’s funny. I don’t know if I’ve ever converted anyone, but I have noticed that as I talk to people, they get a lot more relaxed about food. Food is not our enemy and it’s just not nearly as complicated as we make it out to be. The guilt that we associate with food is enormous and it’s just not necessary. We feel powerless against it and our bodies’ cravings. Again, not necessary. When we learn to listen to our bodies again, all of that ugliness falls away. It does take some time and effort, but it’s not nearly the same effort as trying to stay away from chocolate when you really, really want some. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody

Jason Fonceca March 18, 2012 at 05:18

Well the only reason I’ve converted people is LoA of course. The amount (& depth!) of thought+emotion I’ve put into my own power, prestige, and influence would probably set a record or something, and it just keeps growing.

A story:

I’ve eaten raw pork, I’ve lived on McDonald’s while homeless for months, I’ve slept 2-4 hrs on average a night, for over a month, and come out of it stronger and a *better* rock-climber than when I started.

How? My body told me this will work out. My body told me it’s fine for now. My body told me I’ll be back to eating a more versatile palette when the time’s right.

I listened :)

Melody Fletcher March 18, 2012 at 19:26

That’s awesome, Jason. And what perfect proof that the food we eat isn’t the main thing. The main thing is that we resonate with it. And when need be, we can resonate with whatever and still thrive. yay!!!

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Alice June 22, 2012 at 11:54

I have this interesting idea with LOA and vibrations in general. What if things like food choices, what you are attracted to and health issues said particular things about you? Like a table of correspondence?
I have a strong hatred of soft drinks and too many grains. Yet I like fatty foods, meat, salt and chocolate. I also love vegetables, fruits and a big fan of juices and herbal teas. But something about soft-drink…freaky stuff. I also don’t like many artificial things.

Melody Fletcher June 23, 2012 at 14:13

Hi Alice,

I don’t think that you can make that kind of correlation (but I’d be interested to see what would happen if someone tried…) People are too complex to be defined by their food or drink choices.

Perhaps it might serve you better to say that you have an aversion to soft drinks. Your body doesn’t want them. But do you get angry if you see others drinking them? If so, try to soften that. Their bodies may not respond the same to those drinks as yours does.

I do believe that as we raise our vibrations, our food choices become much more deliberate. Many people I know, who have very high vibrations, have switched to mostly RAW Vegan diets (including me). Chemicals and preservatives are off the menu. I can’t remember the last time I had a soft drink and have no desire to have one. But everyone can and should do what feels right. It’s less about controlling food choices and more about learning to listen to your body.

It sounds to me like you’re doing a great job of that. Keep that up and don’t worry about what others are eating or doing. Eat what makes you feel truly good. Pay attention to how you feel and eat the foods that make you feel the best. Leave the stuff that doesn’t feel good out. That’s the perfect diet for you. Everyone else can find the perfect diet for them, and it won’t be the same as yours. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Alice June 24, 2012 at 07:55

Hi there,

:-) No. Others drinking soft drinks doesn’t make me angry. I’d sure be a hypocrite with my love of chocolate and other sugary things!

But yes artificial things don’t taste good and in theory the chemicals don’t sound good either. I’m glad I’m not attracted to them. I think they give people headaches and in extreme cases cause anger problems. I also don’t think the body can properly digest artificial things as it’s not a nutrient.

I agree with this “what feels good” diet. Capsicum has a special place with me! :-) *Reminded of Iron Chef Japan*

The alternative correspondence could be what foods seem to have a high vibration? You did mention raw, natural foods as an example. Is there anything in particular that feels best? That would be a weird coincidence!

Antonia August 3, 2012 at 17:18

Ah Melody (and the universe for pointing me to this post),

It’s reassuring to know that someone as wise and awesome as you has the same approach to something like food.

I embarked on a raw vegan journey over 2 years ago to heal my chronic eczema and improve my overall health and can honestly say I’ve never looked back. However, after the initial detox phase which I recognise was very important, I now am more relaxed about what I eat. This isn’t particularly easy with a multitude of food allergies (like garlic, pulses, dairy and eggs) but I also feel that my passion for food has increased, I feel like the variety of things I can eat has trebled despite having to be very picky about what I eat. The new combinations. flavours and textures are a treasure trove of discovery!

I think at times I was close to turning into a vegan douchebag but I realised I made the change for me, not for anyone else and that people are more interested in what you’re doing when they’re allowed to become curious, rather than being preached to. I apply the term vegan to myself fairly loosely now but mainly because I avoid meat and have to avoid the dairy and eggs and it actually makes it easier, particularly when eating out. I have faced some thinly-veiled judgement from a newbie vegan recently when I said that I occasionally eat some fish (although I’m going off that too now) and might have some meat if I really wanted it (usually a bit of my boyfriend’s steak/burger just to remind myself that I’m not missing out on anything too much). I accept that for some people food is probably not something they ever have to worry about and everything is down to choices, unlike living with some pretty nasty allergies where sometimes I just wish I could eat like a ‘normal’ person and enjoy it without consequence. I admit that I still get irritated when I mention that something ‘doesn’t agree with me’ and I get told that nothing agrees with me. I have to focus on the positive, the things I can eat without consequence (there are loads of things) and not dwell on all the crap. I should also probably focus on not babbling on your blog. I think my point here is that making good food/health choices and being grateful for what you have is more important that being a douchebag.

Thanks for letting me ramble :)

more tree hugs coming your way!

Antonia

Melody Fletcher August 4, 2012 at 16:49

Hey Antonia,

Just remember that the people who aren’t ok with your food choices, don’t have a healthy relationship with food themselves. They are often conflicted about eating meat – usually, they don’t feel great about it because they focus on the fact that too much meat isn’t good for you. So they love eating it because it tastes good to them, but they sort of hate themselves for it on some level.

The other side of that same coin are the people who restrict themselves and don’t eat foods that they would actually like. Either way, your behavior is triggering their own issues around food. The meat eaters resent the fact that you can not eat meat and be so ok with it (and they generally assume that you are in denial about how much you really hate not eating meat) and the douchebag vegans resent the fact that you don’t deny yourself foods you really want.

I’m not allergic to any foods. I can get quite horrible indigestion now when I eat something chemical (occasionally something slips through), and I do feel much better eating the way I do, but for the most part, I choose my foods by what my body wants. And that’s always changing. So, when I say that I don’t want something, I have no excuse, like an allergy (I tried that for a while, telling waiters that I was allergic to stuff to make it easier, but it just felt MORE restrictive and like I was suddenly taking away my option to eat that food, which didn’t feel good.)

Now, I don’t focus on what I can’t eat. I look for what I can eat (or rather, prefer to eat), and I just go with that. So, when others order steak, I don’t need to mention that I don’t eat steak. I just order the fish. Or the grilled veggie appetizer. Or the salad. Or whatever. I don’t feel the need to explain or justify my food choices anymore and that has really freed me up. I mean, someone that orders a stead doesn’t spend the next 10 minutes justifying his food choice either… :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Charlie October 11, 2012 at 02:36

Wow. I must say, I have never met anyone like that (“These are the people who will sit across from you at the dinner table, eyeing your steak as though it was covered in maggots and ask you if you’re aware that you’re eating a corpse. These are the people who will refer to eggs as “chicken fetuses” …”). I have considered myself vegetarian at times in my life, but I really like your term “intuitive eater”! I was vegetarian for several years in my teens, and then again several years in my 20’s and on and off again until now (and I’m vegetarian/vegan –ish again). I don’t care what other people eat. Meat can taste good, and sometimes a body needs it. I am very lucky, in that I LOVE veggies. So a lot of the time, I don’t really feel like meat.
I believe that I am healthier eating a mainly plant-based diet. So, here’s my question…I don’t think I’m the only one to believe that junk food is bad for people (like burger-joint-food), so is it only bad for me because I believe it is? If I truly believed it was great for me, would it be?

Ooh ooh, another question!
quote “ If you truly create your own reality (and you do), then no one but you has the power to affect that reality, unless you let them. This means, that if you adjust your focus to only include a safe world with happy animals, then that’s what you’re going to line up with. You can’t control everyone in the world. You can’t control all realities, dimensions and Universes. You can only control which reality you line up with. And as we know, the Law of Attraction states that whatever you focus on is included in your reality.”
Wow. This is something I’ve thought about for a while now. Melody, do you think that if I truly believed that this world was perfect (in my opinion perfect = healthy planet with lots of forests, happy shiny animals and plants, people are free/happy/healthy/abundant etc) then I would be in that world/universe? Can I universe hop?

Thankyou for writing such wonderful posts!

Melody Fletcher October 12, 2012 at 16:39

Hey Charlie,

If you could truly believe that junk food was good for you, then it would be, yes. Your perception and attitude of food is much more important than the food itself. This is, by the way, being proven scientifically. I’m researching some stuff now and will share it on the blog soon. But think of the people who are able to drink strychnine without hurting themselves, when they get into an altered states. Some religious groups down South do this. Others let themselves be bitten by poisonous snakes with no effect while in that state. But you can’t just adopt such a belief. You have to truly feel it and until you do, eat what you feel will do you good.

Yes, you can universe hop. But here’s the thing: you can’t need others to agree with you. I can tell you that I rarely see animal abuse anymore. On the contrary, I see a lot of farmers who treat their animals really well, butchers who sell meat from happy animals, and people who patronize them. The other universe is slipping away. But when I focus on the little bit that’s still there, it comes back. You can’t need everyone to conform to what you want. You have to let it be ok that they live in a different world than you and that you get to line up with whatever you want, even if they don’t. Then, yes, you get shift right into a different Universe where the animal abusers don’t even exist. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Lynn November 2, 2012 at 17:36

So refreshing to read an opinion like myself. I work with a vegan ‘douchebag,’ so to speak. She is ALWAYS judging and berating what other co-workers including myself are eating. She is a snarky, cynical person. So if you defend yourself against her judgments she always has a snappy comeback or quip. I usually can keep up with it because I have a smart aleck mouth myself when I need to, but I am a nice person. I am just a wits end with this chick though. Sometimes I just want to hit her over the head with something and tell her to shut the &*@# up! Mind you, I am conscious of what I eat. I eat a LOT of salads, everyday, I try to drink my water, and I do eat meat, but mostly chicken and fish. I try to stay away from processed stuff as much as possible, (tv dinners, canned gunk, etc)…but where does one draw the line. If I have a weak moment and I end up drinking a soda….and to have someone staring me down like I am the antichrist for what I am consuming. It’s gotten to the point where I go to another part of the office at lunchtime so I can be by myself away from glaring eyes…..

Melody Fletcher November 4, 2012 at 20:21

Hey there Lyn,

I love it. Like you’re the antichrist for eating meat. Ha! I very recently craved some meat, and went to the Argentinean butcher. We had a lovely BBQ on the terrace and I loved every bite (one sausage and some grilled veggies). A few days later I had some salmon and now I’m back to veggies (with some eggs from time to time).

Remember: When this douchebag shoots you nasty looks for eating meat or drinking soda or whatever, it’s only because she’s jealous. She’s secretly tired of denying herself what she wants and hates you for not doing the same. Just feel sorry for the poor thing. I’d be miserable too if I denied myself stuff all the time. There’s a huge difference between forcing yourself to eat a “healthy” diet (it’s not healthy if you don’t enjoy it, just saying) by making everything that’s not on the approved list gross and horrible, and actually lining up with a healthier diet. The difference couldn’t be bigger, actually.

So, eat what you like and just look at her all pitying like and shake your head from time to time. If she really keeps it up, offer her some, or just tell her to get her own, you’re enjoying it too much to share. She’ll get the point soon enough. :)

Huge veggie hugs!

Melody
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