Just How Real is Suffering?

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by Mary Carol Moran on January 15, 2012

[Today, we've got another fantastic guest post from Lady Awesomesauce herself, Mary Carol Moran.  I don't know about you, but I think her posts just keep getting better and better!]

This Fall I began the study of Reiki, which involves those quantum leaps of vibration that Melody sometimes cautions us about. Soon, in the midst of feeling basically happy most of the time, I began having unusual experiences. Actually, I had always had emotional experiences, but I began understanding them differently.

One day in a group mediation after yoga, I felt a great anger toward my daughters. Before long, my mind rebelled.  This just wasn’t me! I have a great relationship with both my kids, and was looking forward to their arrival for Christmas. But I still felt all this anger and anxiety boiling inside me, seemingly connected to my children.

A few minutes later, one woman left, and my anger seeped away. Talking later with the yoga teacher, I learned that this woman had a very troubled relationship with her daughter.

This was my first conscious experience of directly feeling the emotion of another person as if it were my own. For awhile there, I would have sworn that I hated my daughters! It took an example this dramatic to convince me that sometimes the emotions I feel are not my own.

Okay, I think I just came out of the closet as an empath. Whew! Who knew? Sixty years of being told I was too emotional, that I needed better boundaries… Does this sound familiar to any of you? Truth is, when you’re an empath, it’s really hard (for years for me, impossible) to distinguish between your own emotions and someone else’s. That’s because when you ‘take in’ another person’s negative emotion, you feel everything: stomach churning, dread, anxious heart pounding, deadening sadness… The emotion feels 100%, totally, completely, authentically real.

Okay, now we get to you! The confessional part was necessary for the rest to make sense, but I promise your turn is now. My “AHA!” moment came a couple of weeks ago, and Melody asked me to process what I felt and maybe write it up. Without having worked out all the details, the essence of this post is:

What if ALL suffering is like the suffering I take on as an empath?

What if NONE OF IT is real?

You might argue, I stubbed my toe and it hurts. That’s real. But if you take an aspirin, the pain will fade away. If you fall asleep, pretty much for sure you won’t be aware of your toe hurting. The suffering is a state of consciousness. It only FEELS real at the time.

As further evidence, sometimes negative emotions have fallen away from me as fast as a blink, literally. Once, when I reached a hand toward the ceiling, nausea and exhaustion (deep sadness absorbed from a friend whose father had died) vanished. One second I was about to throw up, the next second – I was fine! And believe me, the nausea had FELT real, but it wasn’t.

How does any of this help? Imagine for a moment that Melody is right (not just Melody, but she’s our fearless leader!) – our natural state is to be happy. Anything other than happy is a deviation from our natural consciousness, our true vibration. If I’m feeling anxious because I just found out that my truck needs a rebuilt transmission (oops, true), is that really a whole lot different from my feeling anxious because I’ve picked it up from another person whose dog is sick? As an empath, I can’t tell the difference. It feels exactly the same. And maybe, just maybe, it really is all the same. I don’t need to take on the anxiety of my truck any more than I need to take on the anxiety of a random person who passes by on the sidewalk.

Maybe this is what Buddha was talking about when he said, “The essence of life is suffering” [paraphrased]. Buddhist scholars insist that happiness is transitory, but – whoa, little old me going against all those scholars – what if Buddha actually meant that our experience of physical life involves suffering only because we buy into it. Nirvana, heaven, happiness: all are right here if we let go of buying into the suffering.

Going way out on a limb, maybe that’s one reason why empaths exist, to demonstrate with fireworks and drum rolls that suffering is a state of mind, and an unnecessary one at that.

In the last few months, I’ve come to realize quicker and quicker when I’m picking up someone else’s vibration. At times, the realization is enough for the emotion to vanish. Other times, despite consciously knowing that I’m NOT anxious, or NOT sad, I still have the pounding heart or the near-tears.

And that’s the challenge that I’d like to leave you with. Maybe talking together, we can share ways to release vibration-lowering negative emotions. For me, releasing another person’s emotion out of my heart is part of the journey of releasing my own lower vibrations, my own resistances, helped along greatly by the realization that none of it is actually real or necessary.

So, please share how you deal with resistance. Once you figure out that something is lowering your vibration, how do you melt the blockage away and get back to your happy, shiny puppy place?  If you too are an empath, how do you distinguish and how do you release?

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to read and comment, and to Melody for offering the space to share. Hugs and peace to all!

Read more of Mary Carol’s articles about living a Healthy Life at alabamahealthylife.blogspot.com






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{ 36 comments }

Derrek January 15, 2012 at 18:48

Wow Lady Awesomesauce,

Gotta’ say that this is one of your best pieces yet. And I can relate on so many levels. I think everyone takes on the emotions of those around theme to a certain degree even if they’re not empaths. A simple example would be the feeling of crumminess the moment a negative, constantly-depressed person enters the room. You feel the atmosphere change. On a more complex level, people who are more sensitive tend to pick up the deeper-rooted feelings and troubles of others on a grander, more personal scale.

Here’s a personal story. Whenever I do something with a group of people, be it watching a movie or a personal project or work-related matters, I have the tendency to relate a bit too much to other people’s feelings. If I know for a fact that a person in that group is moody, my emotions will dip as if it were trying to sync itself with this moody person. This would happen even if I was feeling particularly great on that day. It wasn’t until about 3 years ago when I realized this was happening even without me realizing it. I began to analyze my emotions and soon realized that I was allowing myself to take on the negative emotions of others for some reason.

My personal way of clearing the emotions and defining which are mine and which are borrowed is by asking myself a few questions. “Do I really hate [Mr.X] as well? What do I get by being upset? Does this incident really make me angry?” With every answer I’d get closer and closer to eliminating the borrowed emotions. Sometimes the answers will make the negative emotion just evaporate. Sometimes it’ll enhance the emotion even more. The latter is when I realize that I, too, have a certain negative emotion aimed towards the subject matter. And I work to clear it.

I wish I had a more unique way to do this, but I don’t. I just use the age-old method of “ask and eliminate”. It works for me. Lately I’ve been able to really, really have my own set of emotions. I relate to others, but I don’t carry their burdens. It isn’t so easy with relatives and loved ones, but I try. And needless to say, with a sense of knowing what’s yours and what’s not, you get a feeling of independence and strength. It’s pretty cool. :)

Mary Carol January 16, 2012 at 03:37

Hi Derrek. I replied in the wrong spot. Check below. Another hug, MC
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Sylviane Nuccio January 16, 2012 at 00:03

Hi Carol,

First off, thank you for this deep subject here.

I can’t say that I am an empath myself or if I am, I can’t say that I am really aware of it as up yet, but when I read those lines I couldn’t help thinking about my mother who has always been a tremendous empath person, and it’s no fun!

She always felt a lot of the feelings around her all the way down to deep sadness and depression. Sometimes she would feel very depress one day for no reason and just fine the next day (and, no, she wasn’t suffering with depression). Even when I lived thousands of miles from her she would know how I felt a lot of the times.

She always has a very strong feeling about people and their character as well. I can’t remember her being wrong once to the point that when she said “watch for that one” I would.

I wish had know some of what you are talking about back then for me and for her.
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Mary Carol January 16, 2012 at 00:20

Hi Sylviane,

Thank you for sharing your mother’s story. Hopefully for her, as for me, the rewards outweigh the difficulties.

I’m just getting started with consciously recognizing and releasing other people’s emotions. For me, a powerful reward is that since I don’t know if it’s “really me” or not, I try to let go of all negativity ASAP. Seems to me that could be a good practice for everyone.

I’m more and more convinced that my ‘soul’ (or ‘real me’ or whatever word you prefer) doesn’t get angry or sad or annoyed. In that sense, negative emotions are foreign for everyone. To me, that makes releasing them easier. It’s a lot more ‘real’ to be happy.

Thank you again for reading and commenting! Hug,

Mary Carol
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Mary Carol January 16, 2012 at 00:05

Hey Derrek!

Thanks for the kind words, and for sharing your experience. Your “ask and eliminate” is a lot like “catch and release.”

As you say, every emotion resonates and affects those in the vicinity. For me, it’s not so much a matter of blocking out other people’s emotions (since I can’t!), but more a matter of speeding up my internal recognition time. The quicker I realize the intensity isn’t mine (though I may have some level of the emotion), the sooner I get back to equilibrium. It’s about speeding up the time between “I’m worried about my children” to “Somebody in the room is anxious about their children” to “Whew! Compassion! Release!”

Maybe if we learn to treat EVERY negative emotion as an aberration, a not-real, a who-needs-it?, we can let go of the lower vibrations more and more quickly, and stay more and more easily in this happy calm place.

I always enjoy your thoughtful comments. Thank you for participating. Hugs,

LAS aka Mary Carol
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Neseret January 16, 2012 at 04:06

Hi Carol,

Suffering is real when you don’t recognize you are the creator of your own reality. Suffering is real when you resist what is. Suffering is real when you live in the past and in the future instead of the present. Suffering is real when you’re unconcious.

I work as a mental health and addictions nurse/case manager. Everyday I work with people who suffer from mental illness and struggle with addiction issues. They feel their lives are out of control.

They often bring with them extremely negative emotions of hopelessness and helplessness. As a therapist I witness their suffering and often feel their heartache and pain.

I realize the only way I can be of help to anyone is to maintain my own balance and peace of mind. I also believe compassion is one of the greatest healing agents. Compassion and love are what heal people.

At times I have found myself overcome by other people’s negative emotions. When you see people suffering each and everyday it can be disheartening. It is easy to become engrossed in other people’s suffering.

That said, I always tell people that pain is a part of life but suffering is optional. We can choose to overcome our challenges. We can choose to focus on the positive. We can choose to move forward. We can choose healing and recovery. We can choose hope.

Peace, Love & Gratitude,

Neseret

Mary Carol January 16, 2012 at 04:31

Oops! I’m new at this and hit the wrong reply button again. Neseret, my response to your thoughtful comment is below. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts, Mary Carol
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Mary Carol January 16, 2012 at 04:29

Dear Neseret, Thank you for your beautiful words!

As you say, compassion is a great healing tool. And compassion combined with detachment allows the healer to keep healing. It took me years to internalize that detachment doesn’t mean not caring – quite the opposite. Compassion with detachment acknowledges the other person’s suffering, and at the same time respects their autonomy.

You must be a wonderful nurse/case manager! Namaste,

Mary Carol
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VeehCirra January 16, 2012 at 09:09

I read this and I could not believe my eyes. Seriously, what if the emotions I feel are not my own? What a comforting thought… I have never heard of anything like this before, but it does make so much sense. Sometimes, I can feel low for no apparent reason then the feeling just passes. Now I need to be aware of the emotions I feel. I always get my happy back when I read something inspiring, or listen to soothing music. It happens when I deliberately slow down and go with the flow. Now I see the need to really be aware of my emotions…this is such great insight!
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Mary Carol Moran January 17, 2012 at 00:50

Wow VeeCirra! I’m excited that you’re excited!

I had the exact same reaction when I realized I was feeling someone else’s pain. A little disconcerting… but how comforting! Now that you are aware of the possibility, you may find it a little easier to detach from the negative. Music and reading work for me too. Sometimes I also need physical distance. For meditation at the end of yoga class, I often go out into the garden next to the studio. That short distance can help me clear whatever I’ve picked up during class.

Let me know how it goes – the further adventures of VeeCirra!

Hugs,

Mary Carol
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Eric Cole January 16, 2012 at 09:44

Hi Carol! Being an empath without tools to manage the gifts can be a pain. Adding to the other great comments, I would like to offer some thoughts, from personal experience:

Empathic gifts combined with developing subtle energy sensitivity and adeptness mean things can get a little (alot!) mixed up and intense. I find allowing the emotions to pass through without resistance or judgment very helpful. Observation is good but judgment of oneself or the emotion just prolongs things.

My vibration is not dependent on the state of another person’s energy field. My emotions may well be influenced by their emotions if I am not consciously present in the moment. Not only are their emotions passing through me, energy is not being drawn from me to lower my levels or frequency. Of course, the other person may well be attempting to draw from me energetically as well as emotionally. This is nearly always being done unconsciously on their part. Few people appear to be conscious of their energetic choices.

The trick is to be the conduit.

The heart is an amazing tool. It is able to process this stuff in multiple dimensions and pathways. Passing and processing emotions in one direction, from the other person through me, and flowing energy to the person using me as a conduit, not a source.

Rose Rosetree’s work on handling empathic gifts is quite good. I highly recommend her book and website, http://www.rose-rosetree.com/ Her basic point is that you don’t need to have empathy turned on full blast all the time. She’s not referring to setting boundaries. Choice and intent, as with most things in this realm, are at the core of the matter. For myself, I needed to learn to control the volume and allow stuff to pass through without judgment because events can have both intense emotional and intense subtle energy components.

–Eric
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Mary Carol Moran January 17, 2012 at 01:14

Hi Eric,

Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I’ll respond to a couple of your excellent suggestions.

Letting go of judgment was a big first step for me too. Until I stopped getting mad at myself for feeling bad, I wasn’t able to see that the emotions were coming from outside, or at least intensified. I find it useful to try to send positive energy immediately when I feel a negative vibration. If I can initiate an energy flow toward the other person, the positive streams through and the negative stops battering me. Awareness is so helpful!

I agree that most people are unconscious of sucking energy. I once had an experience where I offered energy to a lovely woman (energetically during a meditation), and she asked me (also energetically) if it would hurt me. After I ‘explained,’ the only way she could accept energy was feet to feet! I don’t know if this is weird or just me, but I find energy passed through the feet seems to be easiest to receive. Also, feet energy feels earth-related to me, and a little steadier than sun energy.

I keep playing around with the conduit/source possibilities. Your comments about being the conduit of enormous energy are right on. But I do think each of us also has an energy source inside us, like a diamond, a tiny sun, or a piece of God. Radiating from that source brings incredible calm and well-being. Sometimes it feels like the ‘outside’ energy lights a spark inside that glows brighter and brighter.

Thank you for the referral to Rose Rosetree. Controlling the volume is a great metaphor. And thank you for giving me lots to think about!

Mary Carol

PS For me, it’s Salsa Dancing – woohoo!
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Sara January 16, 2012 at 12:47

That´s an interesting subject, Mary! Hi, Melody!

Still, we can´t pick up a vibration, which doesn´t exist inside of us to get into resonance, so it´s our challenge to get aware of the issue! And as you write about your own empathy towards other peoples troubles, this may apply to everyone else too, we resonate with the unwanted and emanate it again.
It´s usually a trap to defy other peoples negativities to protect our “clean sheet”. But we have to decide from situation to situation about how we want to deal with what we have taken in (deliberately or accidentally).
If we get ignored by others because of the “negativity” they sense from us, we´d better branch off too, don´t we?

“Flee from these, who flee from You”, and stay with those who let their heart rule, not their “happy place”.

Thanks for sharing,
Sara

Sara

Mary Carol Moran January 17, 2012 at 01:25

Hi Sara,

Thank you for your interesting perspective! I always enjoy reading and thinking about your comments.

At times it’s still hard for me to identify what inside me has attracted a particular emotion from another person. For example, this morning I felt like the left half of me was dead, like from a stroke, and while I identified the original source and maybe her reasons, I haven’t been able to figure out how that experience resonated to me.

Re feeling all our emotions, I think we had a similar conversation after my article “Catch and Release.” I totally agree with you that sitting obliviously in a happy place isn’t living fully. Part of our humanity is to experience and learn from everything. And doesn’t it feel great to get back to that shiny joyful palace again!! (I mis-typed ‘place’ as ‘palace’ – happy accident!)

Thanks again for your contributions to Melody’s blog – you are appreciated!

Hugs,

Mary Carol
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patricia January 17, 2012 at 00:06

I was told I was too emotional all of my life – by everyone…it was only matched by being told I was lying. 60 years worth.
I learned two things that match with what is being said here by caring for my mum 24/7 when she was dying….I was feeling better about who I was away from all the people…I always knew I could not go into a crowded store at Christmastime etc. but I did not know why….then I learned I was a mental/emotional empath……but being with my 93 years old mother who’s heart was giving up…gave me tons of symptoms that I now must get out of my body and medication is not working…so three years later I am still working on letting go….my weight protects me from picking up and being overloaded with others emotions and dis – ease.
The second thing I learned is that I need to find an optimist to glob onto every once and awhile while I am healing myself and letting go….I need to be physically with one to let go and lift my energy
I am finding working on line listening at Wise Ears to be the best way to assist people…because on line or the phone I only pick up little bits and pieces and I can work with that information to get them to do their own work…but I just do not sop up so much of their pain and suffering.
As a child in church I would start coughing from all the perfume and odors usually during the prayers for the world….it was how I was trying to rid my body of the overwhelming stress.

I have healed two growths from my eyes by eating carefully and staying away from people…and now the inflammation is starting to come away….hopefully the fat next…
I worked with two people to help me find boundaries…and awareness…they have not been greatly successful.

Yesterday my brain was hyperactive…going like crazy and my husband was not depressed just tired. I ate some whole wheat bread and an apple and watched an intense drama on streaming to stay in my own skin. I find sleeping 9-10 hours is helpful to letting go and being aware, but nothing has worked so well as connecting on the internet and and staying home and reading. I think when I am not overwhelmed I can be extremely valuable…and productive….
My vibrations are better
I have not been able to do Reiki without becoming hyper in my brain….I found acupuncture better for balancing – though one day there was a person in the clinic releasing and her anger just filled the room to overflowing for me and I was agitated
I liked the post…and appreciate your words…

My happy puppy is loving the snow today…but I do not feel that I have enough balance to take him for a walk

Resistance right now is coming in the form of not wanting to write to make money and having to learn to advertise and market Wise Ears….I just want to do the work and be paid….I truly feel I have done my due diligence and that the financial debt and weight just need to go away – resolve….folks should just be discovering me and my work and I not have to work so hard…it needs to flow
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Mary Carol Moran January 17, 2012 at 01:34

Hi Patricia,

I like your comment about finding optimistic people to spend time with. I decided years ago that I would only spend time around people who bring me up rather than tear me down. That’s one of the things (one of many things!) I love about Melody’s blog – her relentless optimism always builds me up. A lovely benefit of being happy is attracting other happy people into your orbit.

Keep seeking out the optimists! Despite the problems you face, your being here is an indication that you are ready for happiness in all its forms. Smiles beget smiles beget smiles!

Warm hug,

Mary Carol
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patricia January 17, 2012 at 02:54

Yes,
Melody’s spot is very uplevel optimism and hope…smiling

I just seem to be popping in to so many answers and ideas today…I went to the site Eric mentioned today and Lisa on Practical Intuitive has a special offer for Empath’s to learn the on off techniques…I just have very few funds right now…
But I feel like the door is opening wide for understanding and learning right now…like I am coming in the the Peak of Creativity fully open and ready…
It is rather an amazing feeling….to say the least
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Mary Carol Moran January 17, 2012 at 05:50

How wonderful, Patricia! I too feel like 2012 will be awesome. Doors and windows are opening everywhere. Woohoo!
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Mary Carol Moran January 17, 2012 at 01:45

Thank you everyone for your detailed and thought-provoking comments! Wow! You guys are fantastic. Please read the back and forth comments, as each person is adding a unique and personal angle.

Giant shiny puppy hugs to all!

Mary Carol
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Melody Fletcher January 17, 2012 at 14:45

Hey Mary Carol!

Thank YOU so much for this wonderful post and for keeping the discussion going in the comments. I knew this one would be really valuable. :)

You’re such a wonderful addition to this blog and I feel really grateful that you found your way here and are willing to play with me this way. I must be doing something right to have manifested someone like you. :)

Huge chocolate dipped, flowery, cuddly bear puppy hugs to you!

Melody

Mary Carol Moran January 17, 2012 at 15:20

Thanks Melody. You’ve created an awesome and important collage here of information and people. I’m honored to be part of the mix. Hugs to all! Mary Carol
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Bill Dorman January 17, 2012 at 02:19

Hmmm, interesting; I just found out I was an empath. I had never heard it described like that.

Without knowing how all this works and it affects you, I do know it is not hard for me to get in a happy place and I seek out happy and humor and I expect good things to happen to me. I think this is at least a step in the right direction, huh?
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Mary Carol Moran January 17, 2012 at 02:33

Life keeps being interesting, doesn’t it Bill? Welcome to empath-hood!

I find it easy to be happy too, and I deliberately seek out other happy people. The realization that I was picking up others’ emotions, even illnesses, has made my life much simpler and easier. I choose to believe that all negativity originates in something foreign, as in alien to my true self, and try to let it go as gently and quickly as possible.

Expecting good things is a great attitude. I’ve adopted Melody’s mantra of “This or something better,” and “something better” keeps coming my way.

Hugs! I always enjoy your comments and your upbeat presence here on the blog.

Mary Carol
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Kelli Cooper January 17, 2012 at 06:01

Hi Mary
Great article. It is so great to know I am not the only person that experiences this! I know most of us do to some degree but it has always been particularly strong for me and the closer I am to the person — not distance-wise, but bond-wise, the stronger it is. Just like that suffering is not truly mine, it makes sense that none of it is in fact real. We are all human of course and will have our moments, but no matter what, the sense of suffering we feel is inflicted by our minds and not the outside circumstances. We see this in life everyday — two people can have the same type of troubled life or experience a similar horrible event and act completely differently. I really enjoyed your insight here!
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Mary Carol Moran January 17, 2012 at 06:35

Hi Kelli! Thanks for writing.

I like your line: “the sense of suffering we feel is inflicted by our minds.” Yes!

For me, the Buddhist word detachment works well here. We can feel compassion because someone is hurting, but we can separate ourselves and realize that our hurting too won’t help them. And if our suffering doesn’t help them, it also won’t help us, even when the pain is ‘our own.’ How cool to think that we can detach from our own problems!

The notion of the unreality of suffering applies to any lower vibration. The only ‘reality’ is being at the highest vibration – the rest is a mental construct, a limiting belief, something our minds have created. It’s a heck of a lot easier to let go of something once we realize that it doesn’t exist!

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Hugs,

Mary Carol
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The Vizier January 17, 2012 at 16:42

Hi Mary Carol,

As an INFJ, I too had my own struggles with emotions. When I was younger, my emotions were really out of control. So I can appreciate what you mean when you say it is hard to distinguish between your own emotions and someone else’s. It is so easy to pick it up when you are an empath that it is akin to being an emotional sponge.

Everything in life is perception. It is how we choose to perceive events that bring us joy or suffering. There are times when pain is necessary as part of the healing process. It is not easy to let go of great pain when it involves someone who is very close to you.

To me, pain is merely a process. It is as real as it needs to be for a given moment or situation. No more no less. If this involves sadness and suffering, so be it. I will not run from it but instead I will embrace it to let go. Once I have fully healed, I can let go and move on.

I don’t think one emotion is preferable over another. Sure, I won’t want to be sad, depressed or miserable all the time. But since change is the only constant in life, there are bound to be ups and downs that affect even the best of us. Again, what matters is how we manage it. If we can guide our emotions and let it flow through us like water, all will be well.

As for picking up emotions that are not mine, I am aware at all times how I feel and why I feel the way I do. If I pick up some alien emotion from others, I note it and let it pass through me at its own time and pace. If I can get it out quickly I will, if not, then I will wait.

Thank you for writing this lovely article Mary Carol and thank you Melody for sharing it!

Irving the Vizier
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Mary Carol Moran January 17, 2012 at 20:12

Hi Irving,

Thanks for your thoughtful response. I wish I had your ability to be aware of my own emotions. It still takes me awhile to realize I’m feeling someone else’s emotion, and then even longer to figure out why I attracted that particular emotion into my sphere. The big, big, big take-away for me is to let it all pass through me with an attitude of, hmmm, this is interesting…

The lessons are hovering, patiently waiting for us to be ready to learn them in our own time. At the moment, I’m nudging the giant pool of ‘desire’ with my big toe, watching the ripples, knowing that letting go of desire will leave me in a much better place, but unsure how to go about it. My stumbling into Melody’s marvelous LOA site was no accident!

Thanks again for your always interesting commentary. Hug,

Mary Carol
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The Vizier January 18, 2012 at 03:10

Hi Mary Carol,

My ability to be aware came through experience and practice. It also helps that I divine daily so I already know how my day will turn out. And at the same time, my readings reflect the state of my emotions. Not the exact emotion, but it is easy to guess which it is and to locate the source for it. That is the secret of my awareness. I am always aware of the entire situation that I will face in advance and hence I am aware of the feelings I feel both internal and external and how best to act in the given situation.

As for letting go of desire, just being aware that you have to be ready to learn the lessons in your own time is a good start. For me I have my desires, but I see them as tools to get me moving forward. I do what I can to get what I want and to prevent unfortunate outcomes. But if my foresight and efforts are not enough despite all my creativity, then I realize I have no choice but to let go. Having expended all my energy by focusing on the solution, letting go of my desire comes naturally because I finally realize for myself it is not meant to be. And more importantly, I have no regrets. This is how letting go happens for me in my own time. :)

Irving the Vizier
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Mary Carol Moran January 19, 2012 at 18:00

Thanks for sharing your perspective, Irving. At times my life feels clear and full of light. At other times, it muddies up, and then I know there’s an issue surfacing.

Having recently experienced a lovely time of fulfilled desires, and sitting now with mixed emotions, I’m questioning the nature of desire. Why do I want things when I know inside that I really really don’t want for anything? Why am I more content with “nothing” (a comfortable level of nothing)? Why does receiving “something” just leave me wanting more? Why am I more at peace sitting still in a slightly leaky boat?

I appreciate your wisdom of working toward a desire, then letting it go if nothing works. Part of the wisdom for me will be clarifying what it is I truly desire. Thanks again for your additional comments.

Mary Carol
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Anny July 27, 2012 at 17:02

Hi Mary,

I have been an empath all my life, most of the time without knowing it or even being aware of the fact that such a thing exists. As I have had extended very difficult periods in my life with, for a while because of other people being very angry or emotional and me being somewhere in the middle, I must have soaked up a lot of their emotions in addition to those of my own of being angry at all of them for putting me in that position. I actually filled a whole reservoir with them and now they are coming to the surface to be cleared which I have already written about. No wonder that I do not know where the anger is coming from if they were not even my emotions. My own I had cleared so I wondered how I could still be feeling this way and I just now recognized it.

Thanks for this post.

Love,

Anny

Mary Carol July 27, 2012 at 18:54

Hi Anny,

Sounds like we’ve lived parallel lives. In hindsight, I think a lot of the discontent, inadequacy, and unhappiness I felt for years was in large part absorbed from those I lived with. All of which I attracted so I could eventually figure out that this wasn’t me!

At the moment I’m working on finding balance. I don’t want to be an emotionless zombie, even a very high vibrating zombie! I’m learning to feel the sadness, the fear, the joy, all the emotions, and then let them go. It’s the holding on that causes problems.

Many hugs to you, fellow traveler! I always enjoy your contributions!

Mary Carol
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anny July 28, 2012 at 14:27

Hi Mary,

Thank you for your reply.

I feel the same way. Balance and integration is what it is about with me right now. I am letting emotions pass through while feeling them and then they dissolve.

I also find that a lot of things are falling in their place as it were so I can make peace with them. My physical health has not been too good because of all what happened and for a long time I have known (but not liked) the fact that I created this situation myself. I accepted it but wanted it to clear up ASAP as I knew what it all was about, right. I now realise that I just have been pushing all the time instead of allowing. So now I feel that it is okay the way it is, even if it does not clear up. And that is a relief too which makes anything possible. We live in exciting times!

BTW, I love your contributions too!

Love,

Anny

Mary Carol July 28, 2012 at 16:28

Hi Anny,

You make a really good point about accepting present illness/pain without worrying too much about where it came from. The downside of LOA can be beating yourself up for every little thing. No need!

I’ve had a few days of hip pain – I think we’re about the same age? Your message this morning helped me think, “Ah well. More glucosamine, back to yoga. It’s all good.”

Hugs and thanks again for your presence here. Where do you live? Maybe we can meet one day. I’d like that.

Mary Carol
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anny July 28, 2012 at 16:55

Hi Mary,

Yea, that glucosamine! I’ve got it in the cupboard and mostly forget to take it. Can they not invent minerals, vitamins etc. that help you while they are in the cupboard. Could LOA provide us with something like that? That would suit me!
I might be your age but I do not know how old you are. I am sixty-five and have been promotied to grandmother status.

I’d love to meet you too but as I live in Holland and you in Mexico (?) I think it is not so easy to arrange. More LOA?

Love,

Anny

Mary Carol July 28, 2012 at 21:16

Check out Colima, Mexico, on YouTube. When it gets cold and dreary next winter in Holland, come visit! Hugs, MC PS I’m 61.
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anny July 29, 2012 at 09:21

Hey Mary,

I might take you up on that! Must attract some money though, and energy. Those transcontinental flights are killing me.

Love,

Anny

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