Things Happen For A Reason – Is It To Teach Us A Lesson?

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by Melody Fletcher on November 15, 2011

Well, you’ve waited long enough… It’s time for another video! I get a lot of questions about the Law of Attraction (which I LOVE), and I thought it might be fun to start a Q&A style series of videos. You know…weekly-ish. Here’s the first one:

 

 

 

 

Video Highlights. For those of you too lazy to watch it… You know who you are.

Question: People often say that everything happens for a reason, and specifically, that certain things happen in order to teach us a lesson. What do you think?

Answer:

  • I call Bullshit
  • The idea that our souls need to learn lessons in order to evolve is an antiquated one. It stems from the idea that we are separate from God and worth less than him or her. Bull. Shit.
  • We are not here to learn anything, we are here to experience the physical and to add to the expansion of the Universe, which we do by creating.
  • However, we do pick up limiting beliefs as we go along, and when those beliefs start to create, one could see those manifestations as “learning opportunities” or “lessons”.
  • But these are not cosmic lessons that our souls had to learn. Our souls vibrate at the frequency of pure love. They don’t have to evolve. That’s a human concept.

Does my answer resonate with you? If not, please share your opinion, as well. Perhaps it will help to bring clarity to someone else! :)

 

{ 50 comments }

Sara November 15, 2011 at 21:51

Hi Melody, thanks for your video!
“Everything happens for a reason” resonates with me! But things happen for a good reason (always for a good one), to promote us to receive something better, than we are currently capable to perceive and ask for. Things need to clear up, you have to aim higher, prepare the ground for something to come into your life. That´s why obstacles occur, things seems to be delayed, disasters happen.
We don´t feel good about perceived waste and loss, they feel destructive to us, that´s why we choose to give these incidents a meaning, we want compensation and amends for our hardships. (And I believe in reasonableness of occurances, because of that).

Of course I can see your point, learning as a never ending necessity to ease the burden of our inborn imperfections a little bit. And I agree on this, that there is no need to slave away anything, but that we are free to experience whatever we are capable of and make new decisions from that. We don´t improve in perfection with our proceeding knowledge, that´s a bottomless pit and an illusion.

Do our souls or our minds have to learn lessons in order to evolve? Some things I have learned from the teachings of others, some came to my mind by my own refletions. But my soul isn´t affected by my insights, it´s about love, about who I really am, not about something incomplete. I don´t know about these terminologies very well anyway; we can talk about things our whole life through, without experiencing anything. I´m here for sharing, call it learning, call it experiencing or evolving. Maybe we agree, maybe not; maybe we are right, maybe not.
Let´s see where it takes us!
Sara

Melody Fletcher November 15, 2011 at 23:50

Hi Sara,

I’m inclined to say that we agree. Semantics aren’t important, but the truth behind the words we use is. And I get the sense that you and I believe very much the same things, even though we sometimes take different roads to get there… :)

The most important point for me is the idea that we are whole and complete, just as we are. Once we can accept this belief, everything becomes easier. We stop punishing ourselves for being, well, us (what a terrible waste of energy, really).

I love your idea of seeing where it takes us. Awesome!

Huge hugs to you,

Melody
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Mary Carol November 15, 2011 at 22:59

Fun video, Melody!

Okay, first of all, girly-girly, I have to say that I LOVE your hair! The tiny bit shorter do is perfect for you. Your golden-ness is swingy and shiny all the way through the video – woohoo!

Okay, girly moment passed… Thank you so much for your point of view/truth! It’s always bugged the heck out of me when someone says something bad happened in order to make someone else a better person. For me, it’s right up there on the bullshit scale with ‘God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.’ Grrrr! As if somebody’s up there handing out hardships like a really bad professor.

You raise an interesting side-light for me. Part of our human experience is our creation of limiting beliefs. Yes, we can examine them and work to let them go, but they’re nothing to get our knickers in a twist over (Canadian, eh?). We’re on the planet, therefore we have created limiting beliefs for ourselves. It’s all good. Like how weird is it that I can actually see through the skin on the back of my hand now? Yeah, getting older can be a bitch, but it’s also pretty cool. I think I’ll try saying ‘thank you’ for the limiting beliefs of myself and others, and then try to release some more of mine.

Huge hugs to your beautiful self and to all the other fine participants here on the blog,

Mary Carol
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Melody Fletcher November 15, 2011 at 23:58

Hey Mary Carol,

Thanks so much for the compliment! You’re not going to believe this, ok you are, but I had to re-shoot the whole thing because in the previous take, my hair looked like crap, even though the point I was making was perfectly clear. Ok, it wasn’t CRAP, exactly. But it didn’t look good. Yes, I am that vain. This is Youtube and this shit ain’t ever going away… ;)

That’s so funny. When I hear “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” I always think that’s so true. But for me, it’s not referring to the crap that some professor is handing out (LOVE the analogy), but rather, you don’t manifest more than you can handle. Not the good or the bad. We’re in control, so if we get overwhelmed by our manifestations, we can slow them down anytime, or change them. So really, we never manifest more than we can handle. Ha.

You can see through the skin on the back of your hand? Cool! You should go teach anatomy to kids with that. I’ll bet they’d love to see through your skin. :D

Hugs!
Melody
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Julie | A Clear Sign November 16, 2011 at 02:08

Hi Melody,

I did agree with many of the things you said, but I think we’ll part ways (possibly) in the “life lessons” department. Yes we can go through a lifetime just having experiences, but they may or may not be what we from a soul level planned for this incarnation. Therefore when we go “off plan” to a large degree, we tend to create circumstances which will pull us back (or give us the opportunity to do so). This is the opinion I have formed from speaking to the spiritual teams of many people and discussing the reasons for certain events and circumstances.
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Melody Fletcher November 16, 2011 at 18:15

Hi Julie,

Actually, for me this comes down to semantics – we’re using different words but essentially saying the same thing. :) For me, you feel negative emotion when you move away from who you really are, your soul, so to speak. When you see things differently than your soul does, or move away from what you TRULY want, then crap happens.

For you, there may be a soul plan and when you move away from that, poo hits fan. I’m not sure the wording really matters as long as you still feel empowered.

I think the “danger” comes from feeling like there’s some plan out there that we had nothing to do with and that we have to find or we’ll never be happy. It leads people to feeling powerless and desperate and also leads to beliefs such as “suffering is good”, because perhaps that was just all part of the plan. The plan, if you will, feels awesome and amazing and never like torture or suffering.

So really, it sounds to me like we’re on the same page when it comes down to the core of it. :)

Hugs!
Melody
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Steve Rice November 16, 2011 at 06:23

Love the video! I vote for “weekly-ish”! :) I appreciated your insight in answering this question because I had previously been inclined to believe that life presents us with “lessons” that our soul needs to “fix” our limiting beliefs.

I love how you made the distinction between a lesson which comes from a place of separation and dysfunction and a “lesson” which is basically a wake up call to return us to the present moment–the moment of our true, eternal power.

Keep up the vids! :)
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Melody Fletcher November 16, 2011 at 18:17

Thanks Steve. People do seem to like them. I just wish I could figure out how to make them a bit shorter… (or perhaps I should congratulate myself on the fact that they’re not 20 minutes each.. Ha!)

It’s all a matter of perspective, isn’t it? When we look at life’s “lessons” as things that are done to us, it feels powerless. When we see them as opportunities we’ve drawn to ourselves like messengers, it feels empowering.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Steve Rice November 16, 2011 at 18:21

I know what you mean about keeping them concise, but I think you did well on this one. I think anything between 5-10 minutes is suitable….and if you’re serving the world, there is no “wrong” way anyway! :) So just relish your beautiful part in this dance we’ve all choreographed here on earth. It’s wonderful…and so are you. Hugs (I’m a closet hugger too…just don’t tell anyone!)
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marc van der Linden November 16, 2011 at 08:23

Hi Melody,

I think that everything happens for a reason. Not because of a higher God is teaching us, that is bull shit. But because of the synchronicity of events happening in the universe. Things don’t happen by accident. There is always a reason for it. For every positive event, the will be negative event occurring at the very same moment. It is only our perspective of how we see the world, which filters the ones we perceive as the truth.

You can see it as ‘getting a lesson’ or not. For me it is more something we CAN learn from, we don’t have to blame ourselves or anybody else for anything.

I agree we are pure love and that we don’t have to do anything to evolve. That is completely our choice and interpretation. But whether we want it or not, we are a part of the universe and the universal rules apply everywhere. We have a conscious mind and energy which we can use and manage – or not.

Thanks for sharing
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Melody Fletcher November 16, 2011 at 18:23

Wow Marc,

That’s an interesting theory – that for every positive thing happening, there’s a negative. I’m going to sit with this for a while. Do you mean this in terms of Karma – when you create something bad in your life, there’s an equivalent amount of joy that you could line up with, so there’s always two sides to everything and you line up with what you choose to? That I would agree with.
Or, do you mean that for everyone moment of joy, there’s someone in the world who is experiencing an equivalent amount of pain, and that there’s a finite amount of good, directly related to the amount of bad stuff happening (as opposed to simple available)?

Can you elaborate? I’m fascinated. :)

Hugs!
Melody
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marc van der Linden November 16, 2011 at 22:14

Hi Melody,

Yes. All your statements are correct. There is no positive without negative, no pleasure without pain, no good without bad.

This also means you never be for 100% positive. I have written about it in one of my last blog posts.

Maybe one adjustment: there is a difference between joy – which is balanced state and happiness – which is bipolar emotion. So being joyful has no negative, but happiness has sadness as opposite and pleasure has pain as opposite.

The same for love and gratitude – they are also balanced states too.

However emotions are bipolar and they follow the law of universe: for all positive there is a negative. And they happen synchronous – at the very same moment, but also over time and space.

When I understood this for the first time, I had to sit down as well. It means that there is an amazing hidden order in our universe. An order which is much bigger than I ever could imagine.

It fascinates me too.
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Melody Fletcher November 17, 2011 at 03:57

Thanks for explaining Marc. I’m definitely going to ponder this a bit. I’m having some great insights because of it already. Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom here! :)

Super hugs!
Melody

Mary Carol November 18, 2011 at 05:28

Fascinating conversation, Marc and Melody.

I’ve often thought the same about people – that someone’s strength is also their weakness. The most dramatic example for me is that my wonderful teacher father, who enabled everyone in the most positive way, also was an enabler of my mother’s alcoholism. As for me, I’m generally in touch with emotions (strength) and can get overwhelmed (weakness?).

Perhaps if we can see our own and others supposed weaknesses as alternative aspects of strengths, we can accept ourselves and them as complete, rounded humans, neither perfect nor flawed.

Isn’t the world interesting? Thanks Marc for bringing this duality into the conversation. I’ll be interested to read your later thoughts, Melody.

Hugs to all,

Mary Carol
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harsh November 16, 2011 at 10:52

hi melody,
Good to watch your vlog after a long time.
i wanted to ask you three questions.
1)whenever i plan for my career for future i end up in depression or confusion everytime. Why does it happen?
2)even though i know the benefits of medetation , how to medetate , somehow i am not able to do medetation, my mind ignores it and i indulge in day to day works. Why i am not able to medetate?
3)At present i am 19 year old and according to my height, my body weight is too low its just 42 kg and i look too slim. I have tried everything to increase it but there is no increment.
How can i use LOA to increase the weight of body?

Melody Fletcher November 16, 2011 at 18:32

Hi Harsh,

It was great doing a video after such a long time. But I couldn’t continue with them in August (too hot. I was melting in front of the camera) and then I was traveling. Thanks for the feedback!

1.) Whenever you think of your career, you are triggering some kind of resistance, some negative belief. It’s THIS belief that is causing your negative feelings. Get more general when you think about your career. You are almost certainly being too specific, which is triggering the belief. Keep getting more general (“I want to feel good in my career, have awesome colleagues, be passionate about what I do”, instead of “I want to be an accountant and work for XYZ company in this and that department”) until it feels good. Figure out the essence of what you want and this will help you get more clarity.
2.) Meditation is a matter of practice. Your mind is simply too scattered and you’re not practiced in focusing this way. I would strongly suggest guided meditations for you. They can really help you get into the meditative state. I’ll actually be bringing some out within the next month, but there are tons on the market that do a great job. My favorites at the moment are the vortex meditations by Abraham Hicks.
3.) This isn’t something I can give you an answer on, I’m afraid. It comes down to why you are the weight that you are. Your body is a reflection of your beliefs – those about your body and those about the world, yourself in general and others. How does your weight make you feel? Do you feel small and insignificant, for example? That would give you a clue as to the belief that you need to fix. Body issues are always complex. But there is almost ALWAYS a component in there tied to self esteem. So that’s where I would start – listen to how you speak to yourself and make sure you talk to yourself with kindness and love.

I hope that was helpful.

Huge hugs to you!

Melody
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Bill Dorman November 17, 2011 at 00:37

Wait, did you just say you were too hot to do anymore vids? I mean you did redo your hair to shoot this one and you look pretty awesome, but aren’t we being a little presumptuous?
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Melody Fletcher November 17, 2011 at 02:13

LOL Bill! Yes. My hawtness comes out in full force in August, which would make it, quite frankly, irresponsible to do any videos during that time. Poor Angelina Jolie. She’d just have to kill herself. And I’m not being presumptuous, either. I once made the mistake of video chatting with some buddies in the Ukraine one August afternoon. 8 months later, their nuclear reactor blew up. Coincidence? Yeah… I think not. Sorry about that, Chernobyl. My bad.

I go into hiding in August as a service to humanity, really. I’m pretty sure that makes me a saint or something. A hawt saint. Do saints get money? Is it like the Nobel Peace Prize? It totally should be…

Lori Gosselin November 16, 2011 at 12:54

Hi Melody,
I’m so glad to hear you say this! I so disagree with the idea that we’re here to learn lessons! It violates my belief in free will so much. It seems you’re saying that the only ‘lessons’ are the ones which offer us an opportunity to correct our course, OUR course – the one we set to get to where WE want to go. In other words, the lessons are our lessons, something to assist us on our journey. I believe we are here to experience life on our own terms.
It’s a yes and no question, isn’t it? Yes there ARE lessons, but no they aren’t given TO us but come from us, in a way. They come in response to what we’ve asked for, to help us attain it or experience it.
This isn’t an easy topic you tackle Melody! Kudos to you!
Lori
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Melody Fletcher November 16, 2011 at 18:33

Hey Lori,

I’m so glad you liked it. :) I think you said it best: Our “lessons” don’t come TO us, but FROM us. Nice one. I may have to steal that… LOL.

Thanks for stopping by!
Huge hugs,

Melody
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Lance November 16, 2011 at 15:04

Melody,
It’s always great to hear your voice and see your beautiful face – so what a fun way to start my day…watching and listening to you!

As I watched this, I also thought of a book I really like – “Manifesting Change”, by Mike Dooley. The big take away from that book – the idea that our thoughts become things. So – do things happen to teach us a lesson? I’m inclined to say “no”, also. For me – it’s more that things happen because I’ve done the things that have brought me to that spot. When those actions speak from my soul – it’s a really, really good place to be (even if it might not always feel like it). If those actions somehow are not in line with my soul…then I’m at a place this is perhaps not ideal (or – not ideal for my soul). I don’t think, though, that it’s about learning lessons as much as it is about just being aligned with where we are at that moment (if that makes any sense at all).

…and…huge, happy, shiny, puppy hugs!! I’m loving those!!! Right back atcha!

Lance
xoxo
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Melody Fletcher November 16, 2011 at 18:36

Hi Lance,

That makes perfect sense! We’re saying exactly the same thing, the way I see it. :)

And thank you so much for your wonderful and kind words. *blush*

HSP Hugs! (Love them too!!!)
Melody
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Derrek November 16, 2011 at 17:07

Great to see you doing videos again, Melody. A weekly-ish Q&A gig would be great!

To be honest, I’ve been a strong believer that everything happens for a reason my whole life. Even the bad stuff. And after learning about the LOA and diving into personal / spiritual development, I was able to give reason to why they happened. So I don’t think there’s any real issue there. The problem, however, arises when people think bad things are “supposed” to happen. That kind of mentality can leave you in a rut.

People who believe in reason are often optimists. If you can see value and the workings of an infinite intelligence even in the downsides of your day / week / month / year, then you’re not going to sit in a corner and cry your life away. You’ll either move on with hope, or if you’re into the LOA you’ll take it as a sign that something is not in sync internally. But if you’re someone who thinks bad things are supposed to happen because “that’s what life is” or “that’s how God humbles us” or “that’s how karma gets you back for stuff you did in your previous life but can’t remember and would never ever do in your current life like rob an old lady”, you’re probably doomed to sit there and wait for the next bad thing to happen. And obviously, it’ll come soon enough.

Also, if you think God is some bearded dude sitting on a cloud with a big book in his hand with everyone’s name and their deeds in it, you’ve clearly got some catching up to do. He doesn’t have a book. He has an iPad2. Get with the program. Sheesh. ;)

Melody Fletcher November 16, 2011 at 18:48

Well stated Derrek! For me, it always comes down to which perspective feels more empowering? Does it feel better to believe that all the bad stuff is happening because you somehow deserve it? Well, for some people it does. Although I think that the number of people that fall into that category is shrinking. :)

Figures that God would be a MAC fan. I knew the iPod was just too pretty! Although I’m still a PC girl, so I guess that puts me in league with the devil… Buwahahahaha! And I agree. The whole beard thing is so old testament. He’s probably got a trimmed goatee now. That’s right, God wants us to be well groomed. So while my PC might condemn me, my makeup collection and spa holidays redeem me. Halleluiah! Ahm Seivedah!

Hugs,
Melody
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Bill Dorman November 17, 2011 at 00:48

Ok, maybe that was a little forward trying to be funny when I hardly know ye but you set me up so well; I couldn’t resist.

Do good things or bad things happen for a reason. I could give you a deep answer and try to explain my reasoning or I could tell you what I think and leave it at that.

You probably want the short version because I can be wordy at times. Shit happens, and sometimes it happens to good people. Was it pre-ordained? I don’t think so; it just is what it is. But I would like to think what goes around comes around……

HOWEVER, I think your attitude and actions, karma if you will, plays a part maybe not so much on whether things do or do not happen to you, but how you weather the storm. I fully expect good things to happen to me and statistically I couldn’t say if I get more than my fair share of good, but I will tell you it feels like I do.

So, I guess what I’m saying is ‘if it’s good enough for me, then it’s good enough period’.

That’s my story for today and I’m sticking with it.

You have been in my reader and I apologize for not making it here sooner. We all know what clogged readers look like, don’t we?

I did like your vid, you were very relaxed and did a great job; even with the better hair-do.
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Melody Fletcher November 17, 2011 at 02:23

Hey Bill,

No worries. My reader is clogged too. I periodically pour some Draino on my computer and after I buy a new one, the Reader is empty. Works like a charm.

You should be careful. I don’t really have a sense of humor and I get offended REAL easy. Then, I sick my minions on you. Ok… I don’t really have any minions. And even if I did, they’d be happy shiny minions. I’m not very good at threatening people, I’m afraid.

I love your attitude. We don’t use quite the same words, but the outcome is the same. When something “bad” happens, keep a positive ‘tude. Works for me. :)

Thank you for your kind words. You’re right. The video was SO much better with my hair all messed up, but no one would’ve known. They would’ve been too distracted by that one strand that was out of place that no one but me would’ve probably noticed but which I just couldn’t let go. Seriously, I didn’t even consider not re-shooting. And it’s not really vanity. It’s because I’m afraid of my hairdresser. He gets really touchy about this kind of shit. Never mess with an angry queen with pointy scissors, various hot styling instruments and chemicals at his disposal. Whatever happens, you will not be pretty afterwards. Now you know. You’re welcome.

Thanks for stopping by!
Hugs,

Melody

Bill Dorman November 17, 2011 at 20:08

First of all, I want to know why I got stuck with the pizza head Avatar………talk about a bad hair day………..I noticed you moderate your responses so of course I thought no way Jose on my ‘too hot’ reply but plugging in the pizza head is going a little bit far.

Wait until after Thanksgiving and I will have a Santa Avatar that might be socially acceptable enough for your ‘hood.

I think saints do get money, but you REALLY have to believe; and of course start a televised mega-church too. Just don’t try it in August however, especially if there is a chance of a bad hair day and a nuclear reactor melt-down.
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Melody Fletcher November 17, 2011 at 21:09

Don’t tell me that as a blogger, you don’t know about Gravatar… I can’t assign the avatars (OMG, how much fun could I have with THAT!), so sorry. Until you fix your gravatar, pizzahead it is. It could be worse. The monster set is at least kinda funny. I could’ve chosen poodles or something. Or celebrities! And then I could’ve made you someone like Phillis Diller! Ha!

Televised mega-church! I knew my monetization model was missing something!!
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Bill Dorman November 18, 2011 at 04:41

Hey, I get to say what I know and what I don’t as a blogger………:). Actually, I am still ‘socially’ naive in a lot of areas but I do have a Gravatar account so I don’t know what else to do to make my big headed mug show up.
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Melody Fletcher November 18, 2011 at 17:07

Just one tip – are you using the exact same email address in your comments as you did in Gravatar? That’s what makes it show up. Might be worth double checking…
Other than that, I got nothin’…

But big mug or pizza face, I’m glad to have you here either way. :)

Hugs,
Melody

Joseph November 17, 2011 at 23:50

There’s no doubt that everything happens for a reason. Things happen because it’s what you believe and think. That’s how powerful our mind, it happens whatever we think for our future.

Melody Fletcher November 18, 2011 at 17:20

Hi Joseph,

So glad to hear you say that. :) But for a lot of people, it’s still really hard to believe that suffering doesn’t have to be part of the equation. But more and more are coming around. Yay!

Hugs,
Melody

Tom@Water Damage Orlando November 18, 2011 at 00:46

I definitely think things happen for a reason and that a lesson can be learned from everything. Not only do bad things happen to put us back on track, but good things happen to reward us. I’d like to think more good things happen than bad to me, but sometimes I wonder what I am doing wrong cause it seems like everything is falling apart. Oh well, the days go on.

Melody Fletcher November 18, 2011 at 17:22

Hi Tom,

Welcome to Deliberate Receiving! More good things do happen than bad, it’s just that we often notice the bad more, blowing the ratio out of proportion. If you deliberately start to notice all the good stuff (including all the little stuff) that goes RIGHT, you’ll soon see more and more of it. And you’ll attract more and more of it. I know that sounds so simplistic, but it really does work. Try it! :)

Huge hugs,
Melody

Tinu November 18, 2011 at 01:12

Hi Melody, thank you for all your responses, you are truly amazing, yet I don’t know you; it feels kinda weird (over whelming good).
Contrary to what you said in your video log and to most who have commented about ‘things happen for a reason, Is to teach us a lesson’, I have always had that theory for most of my adult life so much so I embrace the challenging experiences. Reading this post has completely thrown me and I have had to listen to what you said again and read comments from others again, to grasp what is been said.
I understand that my challenging experiences, further my development, made me stronger and more understanding of the way things work but they haven’t made me any happier. I have set up rules for myself and my experiences are products of limiting belief(s) I have created, ‘bring it on I sometimes say’.
Learning to shift these limiting beliefs I have created would be what I need to do, I need to serve my soul, with what it truly desires, not what I think (rule’s, limiting beliefs, challenging experiences). The less I see and perceive ‘some’ of my experiences as some sort of punishment I deserve but as an indication that something isn’t right and I need to fix it.
Thank you Melody! Extremely Insightful
Thank you thank you thank you, wishing you continued strength.
Tinu

Melody Fletcher November 18, 2011 at 17:28

Hi Tinu,

You’re so welcome. It’s so wonderful how people can connect now, isn’t it? Also, energy knows no space or time, so you can always connect on that level, no matter if you’re in the same room or same continent or whatever. :)

It sounds like you’re in the middle of a powerful realization, one you understand intellectually, and which you’re now letting sink in experientially. I remember making that same shift a few years ago and it blew my mind. The idea that all the suffering I had created wasn’t actually necessary? Wow. But don’t beat up on yourself for past suffering. That’s how you thought you needed to grow and so that’s what you did. And I’m sure it lead to a lot of growth and value. Now, you’re figuring out something new. It’s like a new level. And from now on you’ll react from that place. So, embrace the change and know that it’s ok to feel good.

Huge hugs,
Melody
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patricia November 18, 2011 at 02:07

Very good explanation and I think there was a lot of truth for me in it…just like I am wary of the God shuts one window HE opens another….
hmmm
I do more look at how I am off the mark…off balance when things come up….I certainly have a great deal of resistance when I attempt to raise my vibrational levels…I always know to double check when I get that feeling I do not “believe” well enough…or I have no faith.

I am putting out a giant Thank you Note on Patricias Wisdom Nov 24th,25,26 and giving away a object of great beauty to one lucky commenter – to say thank you to all who have shared with me…I hope you will come by….just wanting to help the world be a better place…sharing kindness !
Thank you for sharing your good ideas
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Melody Fletcher November 18, 2011 at 17:32

OMG Patricia. Regarding the “When God shuts a door, he opens a window…”, you HAVE to read this: God and Jesus. It’s like when your parents get on Facebook. I love that woman.

If you’re feeling resistance when trying to raise your vibration, you’re being too specific. You’re trying to raise your vibration on a certain subject, one that doesn’t want to budge. Get off the subject and go do something that’s easy to feel good about. Then, come back later, from that higher place and try to pull that other issue up.

Can’t wait to see what you come up with. I will definitely be stopping by. :D

Huge hugs,
Melody

Bill Dorman November 18, 2011 at 22:16

Pizza head here; I changed my Gravatar e-mail to my personal e-mail and rented a fairly decent Avatar to use……..I know, I know, it’s not great but I didn’t have a lot of money. Anyway, I guess we’ll see if it worked when I hit reply, huh?
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Bill Dorman November 18, 2011 at 22:34

Ok, wait a minute; I think there was one more step I needed to do. Otherwise I might be pizza face forever…………that is sooooooo high school………….:)
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Melody Fletcher November 18, 2011 at 23:05

Well lookie here! You’ve got it! Goobye Pizzaface. You’ve served us well. *sniff*

Hellooooo Bill! Nice of your mug to finally join us. LOL.

See? It was a bit of a twisty road, but you got there in the end. Perfect metaphor for life (that’s called being deep. Ha.)

Hugs!
Melody

Alexis June 18, 2012 at 20:03

Great post and thank you so much for this, Melody!
Does this mean that, since there is no pre-conceived plan, there is no reason we should have regrets? Regrets are also one of the lowest vibrartions keeping us from who we really are and making us compare ourselves to other people (which is also anti-LOA) thinking that if we went one way and did something we would be where they are at, but we did other things and had other experiences our heart desired, and we can always go back to those things because we do have a second chance. It seems society wants us to feel doomed and know our path from birth when this is virtually impossible! Who made up this stuff anyway? Was it a ploy to keep members of society in check? Yet, this is also anti-LOA! Control never works! Live and let live, right?
Cheers and love,
A

Melody Fletcher June 19, 2012 at 21:49

Hey Alexis,

Regrets are useless. It’s just us, looking back at our past selves with out current, more evolved perspective and beating up on ourselves for not knowing then what we know now. And by doing so, we are keeping ourselves stuck in our old, more limited perspective instead of allowing ourselves to enjoy the benefits of what we’ve evolved to. It’s just kind of insane.

I think that, even thought different people and organizations certainly had plans throughout history to keep certain other people down or whatever, it all basically comes down to fundamental misinterpretations of events. Kind of like a primitive tribe seeing an airplane and assuming it must be the Gods. We were trying to make sense of things through a much more limited perspective than we now have access to (on a large scale, we each individually can obtain any level we like).

We don’t go back and beat up on our 3 year old selves for not knowing how to read. But on the other hand, we don’t refuse to read as adults because we didn’t always know how. But this is precisely what we often do with our “rules”. It’s just a matter of perspective. :) And once you shift into seeing the bigger picture, you can’t ever go back.

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Alice June 27, 2012 at 11:34

Hi Melody,

I’m glad to read this. I’ve always disagreed with the idea of “lessons” as it seems sadistic. So many spiritual teachers or gurus etc talk of “lessons”.

What kind of twisted lesson would Virginia Moore or Anita Cobby be learning? That’s just pointless violence and suffering. That’s the worst experience a woman can be in. They didn’t “learn” anything from this sadism and the end result was their death. A painful death.

I have a friend that tried to feel better about being raped by saying it made her a better, stronger person. But we both know it didn’t. She has PTSD and many nightmares etc
These horrific events just cause more problems and make life harder for the victim. The universe didn’t teach us anything except to lose more trust in people.

She could have gotten the strength or “lesson” from something less harsh.

That’s one of my barriers with LOA. Even though we have the freewill to manifest anything sometimes I think the universe needs more compassion. If we subconciously manifested something really extreme like being raped or having a horrible, mangling car accident or anything we obviously don’t want-this is going to far. Can’t “they” stop it?
Somethings are too sadistic to serve us. I don’t care if the reason is resistance or whatever “lesson” a wise universe should know better- people don’t want to be tortured or raped.

Melody Fletcher July 3, 2012 at 22:32

Alice,

There is compassion in the Universe – LOA is always bringing you the best of what you’ll allow. But the kind of compassion you’re asking for implies judgment – a judgment that is not present. Who gets to say what is too much pain? Who gets to decide how much resistance you manifest before you finally give it up? Only you do, the physical you.

I have personally manifested a great deal of pain in my life. At the time, I didn’t know why. I had no idea. Life was just unfair. But looking back I can see how it served me. Not in terms of “lessons”. But in terms of finally getting me to let go of beliefs that I was holding on to. Some of these I would’ve defended with my life and nearly did. I see now how ridiculous that was, but I didn’t then. And so, it took a tremendous amount of pain to get me to give up. Because I grew up believing that giving up was not an option. I grew up believing I had to be strong at all costs. And so, when it came time to release something, I wouldn’t. Not for the life of me. Until the pain and trauma became to great and I had to let go.

I still manifest pain at times, even knowing everything I know. Physical pain will get my attention. It didn’t used to, though. So, I had to manifest something even worse. From a higher perspective, I can see how even something like rape could actually help us. I didn’t see that then, but I do now. I would never tell a woman who has just been raped that this was “for her own good.” But I would know, in my own heart, that for all the horror of it, there was benefit possible from the trauma. There are many survivors of horrific violence who will tell you the same. There is incredible peace on the other side of trauma for those who will reach for it. It’s an incredibly hard journey, yes, but those who experience the greatest pain have the potential for the greatest joy. And once you fully understand that, once you’ve experienced the flip side, the joy, you cannot view the pain the same way anymore.

Who You Really Are will not step in and stop your growth. She will not take your power away from you. Ever. She will light the way for you, consistently, always, until you find it. And she will not judge the way you’ve come. She will not look down on the path you’ve taken. She accepts you just as you are and will always know that whatever path you took was perfect. There is no judgment. Ever.

Huge hugs,

Melody
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Alice July 4, 2012 at 01:02

Thankyou Melody,

The more blogs and responses the more my brain is activated. Answers bring answers but also more questions.
I am exercising restraint as I’d get carried away and have so many thoughts and more gigantic comments.

“those who experience the greatest pain have the potential for the greatest joy.”

I really hope that’s true as I’m going to be in for the happiest person on Earth. And so will all the homeless and abused people or chronically ill. They’re going to be so happy. That is so nice. I really want that for them and for me.

Just how do we find those roots of resistance you keep mentioning to clear up? Then we can get there.

Melody Fletcher July 4, 2012 at 21:34

Uff. Well, that’s what the whole blog is about, Alice. Essentially, you focus on how you feel, notice when you don’t feel good, try to identify what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking that’s causing that feeling and then reach for better feeling thoughts. That’s it in a nutshell. Easier said than done, I know.

The even simpler version – find a way to feel better. Then find a way to feel better. Then find a way to feel better. Rinse and repeat. :)

Reading blog posts that explain why we feel certain things can bring clarity. Listening to coaching calls can create massive shifts. I use a whole variety of tools to help me identify clients’ beliefs and shift them. But they all accomplish the same core thing – they help the client feel better. That’s the goal. Set the intention to feel better and focus on it all the time. The opportunities to do so will present themselves. They have to. It’s the law.

Huge hugs!
Melody

Alice July 5, 2012 at 03:12

If you just found a way to feel better, would it just be a bandaid solution? Or do you have to always find the root or reason to cure the problem? Does it matter why we were in the situation if we can feel better regardless? Or does this put us at risk of repeating history in the future?

Melody Fletcher July 5, 2012 at 09:27

As long as you truly feel better, and not just pretending to, you’re moving in the right direction.

What is a band aid solution exactly? If you go to the doctor and he gives you some pain meds, but doesn’t address the underlying cause of the pain, that’s a bandaid solution. To me, it’s not a bad thing. That bandaid solution may well make it possible for you to address that underlying cause, because it allows you to focus (it’s much harder to focus when you’re in pain). So, I would only ever caution against thinking that you’re done once the bandaid solution is in place.

But notice that I always advise people to find a way to feel better. And then find a way to feel even better, etc. I advise continuing the journey up the ladder. If you do that, bandaid solutions will be useful stepping stones along the path, or ladders on the rung. Oftentimes, if you try to go for the root of the problem right away, you are attempting a quantum leap.

Oooh, I just realized I have a ton to say here. I’m using this question for a future blog post. I want this to be read by everyone. :)

See how inspiring you are (did you know you’re a manifestation for me, too, dear Alice, not just the other way around?) :)

More answer to come!

Huge hugs!
Melody

Keith November 27, 2013 at 21:02

Melody, you might find Dr. Michael Newton’s work in regression therapy interesting. I agree with a lot of what you say about this topic, and concede the ‘science’ of regression therapy is very soft, but it may blow your mind..Keith

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