Jagger Was Wrong: You Can Always Get What You Want. But You’ll Never Get What You Need

Post image for Jagger Was Wrong: You Can Always Get What You Want. But You’ll Never Get What You Need

by Melody Fletcher on September 13, 2011

Desperation. It’s everywhere. I’m not just talking about the 39 year old woman who’s so desperate to have a baby that she thinks every man she meets, including the postman and the teenager who bags her groceries, is “The ONE”. The woman who watches the door at any party she’s at, so she can knock down the “competition” (other women and gay men) as she sprints across the room to rattle off her name, job description, sexual turn-ons and uterus measurements to any guy not lucky enough to have entered the room with a date, is pretty obviously desperate. And possibly legally insane. I’m talking about the young man who can’t stop thinking about the girl at the coffee shop and has convinced himself that if he doesn’t meet her, he’ll die a miserable old man. Or the woman who obsesses over getting a promotion at work to the degree that she’s given herself an ulcer. There’s the man who thinks of almost nothing except winning the lottery; it will solve all of his problems. And the woman who is jealous of the fact that her husband has a hobby that doesn’t include her. This is everyday neediness. It’s pervasive. And it causes an untold amount of suffering.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all wanted something so desperately that it hurt. If you’ve ever been a teenager with a crush, you know exactly what I’m talking about. The Law of Attraction states that we can get anything we want, providing we align our energy with it. Well guess what? As long as we NEED something to happen, we’re not only NOT aligning our energy with what we want, we’re actually lining up with its opposite – the ABSENCE of what we want. Go figure. So, if you find yourself getting all needy and desperate about the beautiful vampire on TV, or that Jaguar you’ve always wanted, or that promotion that you totally deserve but just never seem to get, then this post is for you. You know who you are.

Why you’re such a desperate mess

It’s time for another one of Melody’s Definitions! Yay! I know you can barely contain your excitement…

Desperation: The emotional state that occurs when we have a strong desire for something, have decided on the ONE WAY that this desire must be brought to us and don’t fully trust that it will actually happen.

Let’s use the example of the young man trying to get the girl, since this is a question (how can I get this person to love me) I get A LOT. We’ll call this young man Kevin, just to make it easier. So, Kevin has met Shelly, a beautiful barrista at his local coffee shop. He’s become infatuated with her and has convinced himself that his one mission in life is to meet this girl. But he’s shy, he doesn’t really know how to approach her and the thought of her rejecting him nearly gives him an aneurism. He spends his evenings and nights pining away for her and dreaming of their wedding and their future kids. When he thinks of her, he feels equal parts elation (she’s THE ONE!) and pain (she’s not his!). He’s actually got two false beliefs going here:

1.)    She must fall in love with him in order for him to be happy

2.)    There’s a good chance that he can’t have her, and will therefore never be happy

Meanwhile, Kevin’s inner being, let’s call him Big Kevin, knows exactly what Little Kevin wants, and has completely different beliefs:

1.)    Little Kevin doesn’t need anything to be happy. He can be happy right now.

2.)    Little Kevin can have anything he truly wants.

When Little Kevin’s thoughts don’t agree with Big Kevin’s, there’s going to be vibrational discord, which will cause negative emotion. So, the pain that Little Kevin is feeling is not because of this girl, but because he is thinking thoughts that Big Kevin doesn’t agree with.

Big Kevin and Little Kevin have to agree

What Little Kevin truly wants, deep down, is to be happy. And he’s decided that in order to be happy, he MUST meet, fall in love with and marry this girl. He NEEDS her. While Big Kevin knows that happiness is a state of mind that can and must be achieved unconditionally. Nothing outside of yourself can MAKE you happy. Ever.

Also, Big Kevin knows the specifics of what Little Kevin wants – to fall in love with the perfect girl and have her fall in love with him. And he knows exactly what that perfect girl looks like., even better than Little Kevin does. Every time Little Kevin appreciated a girl, or any part of her, Big Kevin got more information about what LK wanted. And every time LK was annoyed by a girl or any part of her, BK got more information about what LK didn’t want, and therefore, what he did want. And all of that information has created the perfect relationship, which Big Kevin, in all of his wisdom, holds on to and gives all of his focus to. So, if Little Kevin wants to receive that perfect relationship, all he has to do is to line up with the energy of what Big Kevin is focusing on. He has to believe what Big Kevin believes and focus on what BK is focusing on. And the more those two belief systems match up, the better Little Kevin feels. That’s the Law of Attraction in a nutshell. You’re welcome.

But, because Little Kevin doesn’t believe what Big Kevin does, he’s feeling pain. He’s suffering. And because his desire to be happy and to fall in love is so strong, he’s suffering A LOT.

Stop needing what you want and you’ll get it

No one likes a needy person. Any man who’s ever been pursued by a desperate woman will tell you that (yes, I know he’ll probably sleep with her, but he’s not going to fall in love with her, which is what she’s really desperate for). This is a quality that will almost literally repel most people. Seen through that perspective, this next bit should make perfect sense to you.

In order to stop the suffering that comes from desperation and neediness, you have to practice detachment. You have to stop believing that this specific thing must happen in order for you to be happy. And yes, I’m aware of just how scary that is.

Most people think that if they stop NEEDING something, or stop actively telling the Universe what they want (“I want her!”), that the Universe will think “Oh, you no longer want that? Ok. I’ll stop looking for ways to bring it to you.” They think that if they stop actively desiring something that they won’t get it. But that’s not how it works. Again, your inner being and the Universe know exactly what you want. You don’t have to actively work on creating anything. It’s fun to do so once you’ve figured out how to receive it effortlessly, but it’s not a necessary part of the equation. Your job, your only job, is to learn how receive what you want. And again, the best way to do that is to think thoughts that are in agreement to those that your inner being, the Big You, is thinking. How do you know if you’re in agreement? You’ll feel good, that’s how.

So, there is really nothing Little Kevin can think that will make Big Kevin stop focusing on what LK really wants. That’s not possible. The perfect creation will always be there to be received. What Little Kevin needs to do is to STOP thinking those thoughts that contradict Big Kevin and are therefore blocking him from receiving that creation. And the best way to stop doing that is to stop telling the Universe how to do its job. Little Kevin has to stop thinking that he NEEDS Shelly in order to be happy. He has to leave the delivery (the who, what, when, how and where) up to the Universe. And the faster he does this, the faster and more easily he’ll receive his manifestation.

“This, or something even better”

Now, just because Little Kevin should detach from NEEDING the girl of his dreams to be Shelly (who he knows little to nothing about, so he can’t really know if she’s THE ONE), doesn’t mean that he has to give up on her entirely. Shelly may or may not be the manifestation he’s looking for. And if she is, detaching will finally allow her into Kevin’s life. But, there’s a chance that Shelly is simply a precursor to his ultimate manifestation – a girl who matches most of the criteria of what Kevin wants, but not all of it, yet. In that case, the Universe is actually lining up an even better match to Kevin’s desires. By locking on to Shelly, Kevin is actually blocking the delivery of his perfect relationship, no matter if it involves her or not.

The perfect mindset to get into when trying to detach from an object or person is “Please bring me THIS (person, job, house, situation, etc.) or something even better.” By taking this perspective, you’re placing your trust in the Universe and your inner being. You’re saying “Universe, I know that you know exactly what I want, so I’m going to get out of your way. This person in front of me seems perfect, but if you have someone even better in mind, I’m open to that, as well. I know that you have the ability to bring me the love which meets all of my criteria. So I’m going to stop questioning you and trying to micro manage this process and just let you do your job.”

The Void

When you stop detaching from someone or something, when you stop being needy or desperate, you’ll often experience a temporary feeling of emptiness which can be really scary. You’ve spent so much of your energy on the thought “I need this”, which has a lower vibration (basically, the worse a vibration feels, the lower its frequency) that when you go to retune your thoughts to a higher vibration, the intense negative emotions you’ve been feeling will cease. As you go through this retuning process, you won’t immediately find a stable place in that higher vibration, so you might fluctuate back and forth for a little bit. And during this time, the absence of these intense emotions can feel like a complete lack of emotions. This is never true, but it can be difficult to discern the more subtle feelings of boredom, then less boredom, optimism and hopefulness after subjecting yourself to intense pain and suffering. If you’ve been smashing your thumb with a hammer and you suddenly stop and tickle it with a feather, it may take you a bit before you can feel the feather.

It’s usually at this point that people get really scared that they’re not doing enough. In more severe cases, this void can actually lead to a bit of an identity crisis. If you’re not this needy person in pain, then who are you? This time period requires a little bit of faith in the process. If you can continue to trust the Big You and the Universe, and continue to practice detachment, positive feelings will flood in soon enough. Passion, desire free from pain, joy, playfulness, enthusiasm, giddiness and all the rest will be accessible to you, with just as much intensity, if not more so, than the desperation and neediness you were so used to.

Agree with your Big You to get what you want

This whole detachment process is really just a technique to help you to find unconditional happiness, right now. When you agree with the Big You, when you stop thinking thoughts that contradict what the Big You thinks about anything, you will feel positive emotion. So, the happier you feel, the more you’ve aligned your energy with what you want, and the faster you’re letting it in. In a nutshell, the fastest way to get what you want (and this should really sound familiar by now), is to find a way to feel better right now, no matter what your circumstances may be. Because while Mic Jagger was wrong about you sometimes getting what you NEED (Never. Gonna. Happen.), he was also wrong about not getting what you want. Sing it with me now:

You CAN always get what you want.

You CAN always get what you want.

But with a desperate mind, you’ll never find, what you think that you need.

 

Image Credit: http://cheezburger.com

{ 55 comments }

Derrek September 13, 2011 at 18:56

Jagger may have been wrong about this one, but The Beatles were absolutely right when they said “Let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.” And I don’t think they meant ‘give up hope’, either.

This is yet another one of those situations that you just can’t fully comprehend without trying it out. It’s scary, and it’ll take some balls to let go of that desperation, but once you do you’ll have clarity and a sense of ‘lightweightness’. It’s hard to describe. You’ll also realize that all this while you were jamming your brain into a corner and blocking-out all your senses, most notably your creativity. Once you’ve learned to let go and breathe, you’ll suddenly start wanting to pursue your old hobbies again. You’ll either want to draw or write or take photos, or maybe just head out to grab a cup of coffee and watch the world move around you. You’ll basically turn into a corny character from an indie film, but that’s okay because you’ll be happy.

The funny thing is, once you’ve learned to let go, you’ll sometimes notice that nothing changes. Yeah, you won’t receive the love of your life and you won’t see clouds opening up to your wildest dreams. And strangely, you won’t care because you’ll realize that everything you’ve ever wanted is right where you are and you were just too preoccupied with something else to see or receive or make use of it. I say this because it happened to me. I’m not saying I have everything I want right now, but there was a time when every resource was at my fingertips yet I never used any of them because I was obsessed with something else…which I thought would make me happy.

Also…funny how I really wanted a post about this, but wasn’t really desperately needy for it. Lo and behold. You’re amazing, Melody. :)

Melody Fletcher September 13, 2011 at 21:05

Hi Derrek,

I love how you pointed out that old hobbies or interests are often reawakened when we let go of resistance. We think we just don’t have time to be passionate, but really, we don’t make time because we’ve lost the passion…

I have to say, I disagree a little bit that you don’t get what you want but that you no longer care. That does happen, but if you continue to keep your vibration high, then everything you’ve wanted does flood in. Only, it doesn’t feel like a big deal, because your vibration is a match to it. When it feels like a big deal, your vibration is still far away. When you’re a match, the manifestation feels like a really natural thing…

I do write intuitively. In fact, I only write intuitively. I usually write a little bit in advance, but due to the spa holiday, I had to pen this post today. I actually ask what question needs to be answered next and, well, this is the one I got today. This is what I mean when I say that your questions elicit the answers. :)

Hugs!
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..Is There A “Rebound” Effect With the Law of Attraction?My Profile

Derrek September 14, 2011 at 03:43

Ah. I never thought of it that way, actually.

I may have gotten confused with the ‘natural feeling’ part. I guess I was receiving what I wanted without even realizing it, and therefore thought that I didn’t care anymore, because it almost seemed like it was due and arrived on the dot. Huh.

I learned something new today. Thanks! :D

lili February 19, 2013 at 04:12

“once you’ve learned to let go, you’ll sometimes notice that nothing changes. Yeah, you won’t receive the love of your life and you won’t see clouds opening up to your wildest dreams.”

No wonder why it so impossible to let go: it’s because I know this to be true – letting go won’t getting me what i want.

Melody Fletcher February 23, 2013 at 21:49

Hey Lili,

You do have to let go, but not of your desire. You have to let go of your fears. :)

This post explains it fully: http://www.deliberateblog.com/2012/11/08/dear-loa-what-exactly-do-we-have-to-let-go-of-and-why/

Huge hugs,

Melody

Lindsay | The Daily Awe September 13, 2011 at 19:20

Oh….YOU, you, you!!!! You must be in my head. I’d been doing so well with the whole detachment thing – trusting in the Universe to bring me what I want at the right time. But in the past couple of days, I’ve really been struggling. I’m in that “empty” phase and just today, I panicked, thinking I wasn’t doing enough to bring this into my life.

Thank you so much for putting me right back where I belong. I trust the Universe. I trust Big Lindsay. You rock!
Lindsay | The Daily Awe invites you to read..Spiritual Significance of DimesMy Profile

Melody Fletcher September 13, 2011 at 21:07

Oh, yeah, I should’ve told you. Once you’ve read this blog, I get access to your head. But don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone about that thing you did in college you don’t want anyone to know about. It’ll be our little secret… ;)

Thanks so much for your wonderful feedback, Lindsay. I’m glad the post was useful for you.

Hugs!
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..What If Two People Use The Law Of Attraction To Manifest Opposite Things?My Profile

patricia September 13, 2011 at 23:24

Valuable definition Melody -
I feel desperate when the pain is overwhelming and I am sure I am just making more pain…I have stopped doing nearly everything this week (did go to the dentist, water the flower pots, and attend book group) and have been just doing the miracle balls – like a self massage – and healing breathing….I am going to keep going with this because I am about 50% out of pain today and can actually see how desperate I got to get rid of the pain ( and also the weight)
thanks for sharing this….good words for me
patricia invites you to read..Trust What You Get ~Lisa WechtenhiserMy Profile

Melody Fletcher September 14, 2011 at 15:11

Hi Patricia,
It’ so wonderful to see how much more positive you are! Bravo!!! Keep it up. Just focus on feeling better. Detach. Detach. Detach. :)

Hugs hugs!

Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..How To Take Your Relationship From Fizzle To SizzleMy Profile

patricia September 14, 2011 at 21:35

Oh no! I need to detach too? Do I start with fingers or toes because I think I need to just do one baby step at a time :)
patricia invites you to read..Trust What You Get ~Lisa WechtenhiserMy Profile

Fred Tracy September 14, 2011 at 00:38

Lol! I find myself singing this to certain people in my life quite often. I never knew I was going against the law of attraction. I may just have to change the lyrics to what you put here. :-)

Poor Kevin, if he only knew that what he is doing is having completely the opposite effect. I think this may describe some bonus points I got from mother nature. I’ve always been pretty detached and calm. If I don’t get something I want now, something else will come along.

I’ve had to train myself to be consistent and work hard, but now that I can do that, the results are really surprising. I think being both detached yet consistent and hard-working is a very powerful combination.

I love the cat picture by the way, lol.
Fred Tracy invites you to read..Life is Not a Video GameMy Profile

Melody Fletcher September 14, 2011 at 15:15

Hi Fred,

Thanks so much for adding your valuable perspective. It’s so great how you’re naturally detached. The “hard work” is really the energy work, or the mental work. Once we get that straight, we may still take massive action, but it’s not that hard. It’s freaking awesome, passionate, enthusiastic, uplifting fun. Yay! :)

Thanks! I love the pic, too. I was looking for the perfect image that screamed “needy”. Yeah… think I found it…

Hugs!
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..Orchestrating Quantum Leaps For Lighting-Fast Personal GrowthMy Profile

Kim September 14, 2011 at 00:55

Great post… I love how you threw detachment into this one. It is so true once you detach and let it happen, life falls into place. That’s how I met my husband..we had both stopped trying to find “the one and BAM…we met and 4 children and 16 years later…the rest was wonderful history. ”

I didn’t think your blogs could any better…but wow…you are in the ZONE woman! Your obedience to your intuition is off the hook!! WHEW!

Kim

Melody Fletcher September 14, 2011 at 15:17

Wow, thanks Kim!! I do my best, but it’s always great to get the validation. :)

And thanks so much for sharing your own success with us. Congrats on the 16 years and the 4 kids. Holy crap. Can’t even imagine having to run after that many rugrats… :)

Hugs!
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..The Painful Flipside Of Being Adopted – Case StudyMy Profile

Anne @ Psychic Awareness September 14, 2011 at 00:59

Thank you so much for this post. I have been dealing with a difficult situation for the past 7 months (ugh!). At one point or another I have had all the thoughts that you mentioned in your post. It has helped greatly to see them on paper, written by someone other than myself. Detach, detach, detach. I know I must! Thanks for the awesome post!
Anne @ Psychic Awareness invites you to read..4 Easy Ways to Psychically ConnectMy Profile

Melody Fletcher September 14, 2011 at 15:18

Hi Anne,

Yeah, some of these manifestations of beliefs (which give us the opportunity to release them) can be slow, long and painful. But the more you can detach and feel good, the faster it’ll pass. No one said this work was easy. But it sure never gets boring! :)

Hugs,
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..Intuitive Eating – Best. Diet. Ever.My Profile

Bryan Thompson September 14, 2011 at 06:54

Hi Melody. It’s so easy to forget the difference between NEEDS and MUSTS. Wow. I have read all the books and know how all this works, and yet I fall right back into it time and time again. Maybe not as drastic as some of the examples you mentioned, but it’s bad enough. :) Good to be back in the blogosphere again. :)
Bryan Thompson invites you to read..How do you Pick Yourself Up When You’ve just Struck Out?My Profile

Melody Fletcher September 14, 2011 at 15:20

Hey Bryan,

That happens to all of us. Just because we know something intellectually, doesn’t mean that we’ve automatically released all of our lower frequencies. We’re each on our own journey, and no matter how much we know, we can’t get around that. Having this knowledge is like having a map. But we still have to take the journey, with all the hills and valleys and obstacles and poison ivy and gorgeousness.

Glad to see you’re back!!

Hugs,
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..How To Figure Out What You Want When You Haven’t Got A ClueMy Profile

vikas jain September 14, 2011 at 10:03

what is the difference between need and want and how can we identify if we are wanting or we are showing need?

Melody Fletcher September 14, 2011 at 15:22

Hi Vikas,

This is an excellent question, and one that has an easy answer: The difference between NEED and WANT is this: Pure desire (want) feels good. NEED feels bad. It’s ok to desire stuff, as long as it feels good. But most people have associated desire with pain, because they’ve mixed in desperation. So they think it’s bad to desire and want things. It’s not. Always, ALWAYS focus on how you feel.

Hugs,
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..What Yvonne The Cow Can Teach You About The Law Of AttractionMy Profile

Jimmy/Life Architect September 14, 2011 at 11:51

Hi Melody,

Great way to deliver a really important lesson on how to get out of s desperate state. LK and BK sure did their job well in this story and lesson.

I think when LK starts to let go and be detached, he might even find that meeting Shelly is actually just another step towards his dream partner. Shelly will probably uncover some of his dream girl which BK has in mind all the time. I am sure LK will have a great time feeling relax and good in company of Shelly when he is able to detach from the situation.

The lesson here, especially for those who feel desperately in need of something is to get into that detached state. And nothing beats feeling gratitude for the stuff you already have.

Cheers
Jimmy/Life Architect invites you to read..The Greatest Gift for My BirthdayMy Profile

Melody Fletcher September 14, 2011 at 15:24

Hi Jimmy!

You’re so right. Shelly could simply be a precursor. It’s always best to just appreciate what you have, and be eager for more. That’s the vibration that will allow everything we want to come to us.

Thanks so much for adding your valuable insight here!

Hugs!
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..Now What?!? (What to Do When You Get Everything You Want)My Profile

Marianne September 14, 2011 at 12:17

Hi Melody

MAAAANNNN…did you hit a nerve!!!!

I’ve been through this WAY too long and is still going through the process. Lately I’ve seen how being open to just “Let it be” (loved the Beatels ref. by Derrek) has actually worked and felt GREAT, and then…BAM… the “void” … getting scared …thinking that I’m not doing enough, that maybe it is al in my head and that I’m just imagining the good vibrations but that they can’t been real, getting back into the “old”, needy habits and into the the crisis of ” If I’m not this needy person in pain, then who am I”…and then comes your post getting me back on track! Thanks you!

Melody Fletcher September 14, 2011 at 15:27

Hi Marianne!

Welcome to Deliberate Receiving. It’s about time you left a comment! LOL. Yeah, I loved the Beatles reference, too. So perfect. The thing to remember is that it’s a process, one that will have hills and valleys. Moving from an old vibration to a new one, can take time. And you will fall back into the old from here and there, because you’ve practiced it so much, that it’s just too easy to go there. At least until you’ve practiced the new vibration enough. It takes some time and consistency, and the key is not to beat up on yourself if you have a low moment, but rather to celebrate the times when you manage to hold the new vibration for a bit and feel better. Those times will become more numerous and they’ll last longer each time. Just hang in there. You know exactly what you’re doing, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. :)

Hugs!
Melody

Dia September 14, 2011 at 20:14

Hi Melody,

You have got it my friend. If we want to achieve something, then we have to stop being needy and desparate. However, I think it is very important that we focus on what we want daily. From what I understand, Big Kevin is the subconscious mind, correct me if I’m wrong. Now, if we want to program our subconscious mind with something, then repetition is a must. We have to focus on what we want as often as we can without having the emotions of fear and attachment of course. Therefore, it is advised to visualize daily, think about what we want daily, ask God daily, but at the same time, do so without the emotions of fear and attachment. I know it is hard, but with constant practice, it is doable. ;) Thanks for sharing my friend
Dia invites you to read..My life is boringMy Profile

Melody Fletcher September 14, 2011 at 22:47

Hiya Dia!

Actually, Big Kevin isn’t the subconscious. The subconscious would be those underlying beliefs that like to run in the background. BK is our inner being, our soul, the bigger, non-physical part of us. It’s Who We Really Are. We don’t have to constantly think of our desires. We can use visualization as a tool to clear up limiting beliefs, but all we really have to do is match up with BK’s vibration (which we do when we get happy) and we become a match to everything we’ve ever wanted. It’s so much easier than we’ve been making it out to be!

Hugs!
Melody

David Stevens September 15, 2011 at 04:27

Hi Melody,
Love the headline…..and the post
be good to yourself
David

Melody Fletcher September 15, 2011 at 14:48

Hi David!
Thanks so much for your feedback.

Hugs!
Melody

Vishnu September 15, 2011 at 06:55

Geez Melody – you could just have given Kevin a pick up line that would have worked on this barrista:) lol

a very helpful post of course – detachment leads to unlimited happiness or contentment? or both?

Melody Fletcher September 15, 2011 at 14:50

LOL Vishnu. But where would the fun be in that? If I just told people what to do, where would the fun be in that? But then, perhaps a post on LOA pick up lines would be fun… :)

I think detachment leads to the lack of pressure and negative emotion, which then allows you to find your way to happiness. It’s the part where you stop smashing your thumb with the hammer. That alone won’t lead to feeling great, but it will allow you to get there…

Hugs!
Melody

Arvind Devalia September 15, 2011 at 13:53

Dear Melody,

This is my first proper visit to your blog – and clearly the LoA brought me to it!

I love your post above – and also the many interesting comments which have added to your discussion.

What I am taking away from this is to let it be – and feel good – so I am now off to my garden for some fun in nature.

And I am going to let Big Arvind take care of things – and rely on the universe to bring my perfect “Shelley” :-)

Love and blessings

Arvind
Arvind Devalia invites you to read..Change Yourself First to Change the WorldMy Profile

Melody Fletcher September 15, 2011 at 14:54

Hey Arvind!

Welcome to Deliberate Receiving. I’m so glad you stopped by!! I do have the best readers ever (love you guys!!!), yourself included, of course. :)

That’s pretty much the message of every one of my posts: feel good. I just like to use a lot more words to say it. Also, people seem to need more detail in order to convince them that feeling good is, in fact, worth it. I get that, though…

With your positive vibe, I’m sure your perfect Shelly is right around the corner. Just keep gardening and she’ll pop into your reality before you know it. :)

Hugs!
Melody

Arvind Devalia September 16, 2011 at 00:39

Thanks Melody for the warm welcome!

I shall keep you posted about my perfect Shelley.

To date, I have met many imperfect Shelleys – but I now know that my vibration was not high enough:-)
Arvind Devalia invites you to read..Change Yourself First to Change the WorldMy Profile

Sara September 15, 2011 at 16:41

Hi Melody, thanks for this clarifying post on illusions and the process of letting go!

Desire and contradictory beliefs result in pain. Neediness and despair result from persistent contradictory beliefs and reenforce themselves, darned, scary but true.
Though I´m not convinced that there´s something wrong with neediness or despair, things just are, it´s not really a way of living.
“Themes you have decided to explore (in your life) are going to be the issues that reveal negative beliefs while you´re following your excitement… it´s all about transforming the dark into light.” (Bashar)
So the revelation of our negative beliefs (our self-inflicted wounds) is crucial to the process of healing (alignment with the natural flow of energy). But how can you truly change what you (truly) believe? That seems impossible sometimes, because we truly have to consider something very unbelievable or contradictory as truth. But I would go for it anyway, because it´s freeing; everything which is freeing is about truth to me, so truth is always the thing which resonates with you at a time. And if you do not resonate with something at the moment, just wait with it.
“Your job, your only job, is to learn how receive what you want”, “this, or something even better…”, “the lord is my shepard, I shall never want..”, for “God (the universe, higher self/mind, BY etc.) works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform”: just relax and get ready to receive.

You don´t alway get what you want, but always what you need. And you can always get what you want and need.

I´ll have to chew on this belief issue some more…
Thanks,
Hugs, Sara

Melody Fletcher September 15, 2011 at 20:13

Hi Sara,

You’ve pointed out something really important: Negative beliefs are not “bad”. Nothing is “bad”. This is a judgment that we assign to things. So, it would be better to call them limiting beliefs. The only question, really, is “does this belief serve me?” And if not, we can change it and release it. That is absolutely possible, but not always the easiest thing to do. Sometimes it’s as easy as shining a light on an irrational limiting belief and then realizing that you no longer want to believe that. Sometimes it can take a great deal of time and effort to release something deeply ingrained. But, from my experience which is actually pretty extensive on the subject, I can tell you that beliefs can be changed.

Thanks for sharing your thought process. I’m sure you’re not the only one chewing on this… :)

Hugs!
Melody

Sol September 19, 2011 at 11:48

Why, you write very very well, Melody!
Seriously, it’s a nice article to read.

I’ve been struggling with the same as Lindsay. You know, the not ‘doing enough’ thing, so I must conclude you’re in my head, too. It’s the only logical thing (given that this is my first comment on your blog).

Anyway, I agree. Our only job is to get in alignment with our desires, like it’s written in Ask and It Is Given (that’s a wonderful book, and I just love the scripting process). It’s not always about doing, doing, doing. Mostly it isn’t about that at all. Whatever you have to do, I’d assume you would do automatically as our body is part of this physical world as well.
I confess however, that I’m someone who likes to think that ‘this’ will lead to ‘that’ if you do it enough. Like visualization, even though I know it’s not our emotions that manifest. Thus, I’ve concluded to regard visualization as a virtual environment for testing my new reality. Kind of like a simulator!

Thanks for the post, Melody. I’ll be back!
Sol invites you to read..Caring For Social AnxietyMy Profile

Melody Fletcher September 19, 2011 at 13:04

Hi Sol!
Welcome to Deliberate Receiving. And thanks so much for your kind words. I’m totally with you on the visualization thing. It’s like a dry run for life. I like the simulator idea. I might have to steal that, LOL.

I look forward to seeing you around more!

Hugs!
Melody

Kat August 2, 2012 at 23:49

You CAN always get what you want!!! Excellent post! Thanks, also, for the explanation of the Inner Being. It was great!

Melody Fletcher August 3, 2012 at 14:38

Thanks Kat! And you’re very welcome. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..Quick LOA Questions Volume 7 – Biology, Organ Transplants and the Consciousness of PlantsMy Profile

sam antiago August 10, 2012 at 21:10

Just love this post Mam
Thankyou Thankyou im very grateful of you for telling me about your this post and also for posting this post ~_^ …YOU ARE AWESOME…HeeE!!!
Hav a blast this weakend….love yeah! ^_^

Melody Fletcher August 11, 2012 at 16:18

You’re very welcome Sam. :)

Huge hugs,
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..Find Your Purpose In Life + Free WorkbookMy Profile

Kat August 11, 2012 at 23:05

Just can’t get enough of this post! It is a great reference to turn back to when in doubt, desperate, crazy or needy about something. This post diffuses those very negative emotions, and eases our emotional guidance system into chilling and basking, what Abe says to do all the time. So simple, yet we must train ourselves to unlearn what we have learned from societal conventions.

I also understand now that most of alignment is to get in sync with our inner being and vibe with it instead of looking at what is going on around us. Instead, look to what you want with ease and flow in a relaxed manner. Instead of depairing, be excited for what is to come. You rock, Mel!

Melody Fletcher August 13, 2012 at 17:12

Thanks so much Kat! I love your energy, sweetness! :)
Thanks for sharing it here so we can all bask in it. Yay!

Huge hugs!
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..How Can I Help My Depressed and Struggling Friend?My Profile

mopeychild October 14, 2012 at 10:05

this is what you said in a comment here :’ it doesn’t feel like a big deal, because your vibration is a match to it. When it feels like a big deal, your vibration is still far away. When you’re a match, the manifestation feels like a really natural thing…’

id like some clarity on HOW we can have desires without making them a big deal. i mean, if u want something big time, wont it BE a big deal?
and i umnderstand that different things might be big deals to different people. how do u generate positive expectation without making things a big deal about something youd like to experience?

Melody Fletcher October 17, 2012 at 14:57

Hey Mopey,

Let’s say you have a desire and it feels like it would just change your life. It feels big and kind of scary. Like getting a big promotion at work. You want it, but it also makes you nervous. But then, you spend some time sitting with the idea. You get used to it. It starts to feel less scary, more comfortable, like something you could actually do. Your fear dissipates. You begin to see that you’re actually the perfect candidate for the job, very qualified and that you’d easily be able to slip into the role. It feels natural, like the next logical step. It’s not a big deal anymore. Sure, you still want it, but you’re no longer scared of it. You have a feeling of “of course it’s going to happen.” It feels easy. That’s when you’re a match.

Does that make sense?

Hugs,
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..Are You Too Intellectual To Be Happy?My Profile

Peter December 9, 2012 at 22:53

One of the harshest truths of life is that often, we don’t deserve what we need.
People will always go hungry and starve – physically, mentally, emotionally. It is inevitable.
Be thankful that you’re not in the first category, and try to understand (or better yet, simply accept) the power you have to do something about the second and third.

Melody Fletcher December 10, 2012 at 17:51

Ah yes, Peter. But if you really fix the emotional, the mental will follow and then so will the physical. THAT is inevitable. :)

Huge hugs,

Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..Surviving (And Thriving) The Emotional Roller Coaster Of 2012My Profile

Eve February 1, 2013 at 15:24

Dear Melody

Well, LoA is amazing! I asked for help, and found your blog. I hope this comment is not too late as it is on an old post. I need to detach from something and I do understand what you have said. I also realise that wacking your thumb with a hammer, even when you realise it is you doing it, is just certifiably stupid. I am just really struggling to do it. I have done the ‘this or something better’, I have tried stopping myself every time I think about the issue and gently letting the thought go. I don’t know how else to do this. The emotions feel very raw and I know that is going to stop any chance of aligning with my higher self and creating a better future. Any suggestions?

I was also wondering, what about ingrained, deeply held beliefs that scupper your chances of manifesting your dreams? I have been doing a lot of soul-searching and trying to find each belief and letting it go, but I know there are more in there and they are causing the limitations. How do you go about identifying and then releasing them?

Melody Fletcher February 3, 2013 at 23:12

Hey Eve,

The best advice I can give you is to read the post I’ll link to below the comment. When you realize that you’re always moving towards what you want, and that when you focus more intensely on it that any obstacles you have will hit you harder (become bigger, harder to miss, and easier to identify), then it makes sense to figure out what you want and focus on it in a way that feels good.

Then, just wait for the resistance to show itself. There’s not need to dig. It will come up, perfectly in in the order in which you’ll most easily be able to release it. :)

Huge hugs,
Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..Can I Actually Manifest Positives While Thinking Negatively?My Profile

Eve February 4, 2013 at 13:45

Thank you so much! I will have a read of that. In your example in the post above (which is great by the way!), Kevin changes his focus to ‘Shelly or someone even better’, but his mind is still going to ‘fill in the blank’ with Shelly’s face. Which is not really detaching because he is still seeing her and him together. Now, I know Big Kevin is smart and will work that out, but is LK not still lowering his vibration by not allowing for a blank face to enter his life, simply because thinking of having a great relationship invariably includes sticking Shelly’s face on the movie in his mind. Or have I completely missed the lesson?

Melody Fletcher February 5, 2013 at 20:47

Hey Eve,

You haven’t missed the lesson at all. It really depends on the particular case. You have to see which scenario feels better. If thinking of Shelly or someone better is enough detachment, then that’s great. In some cases, that still won’t feel good, in which case LK will need to think of a totally blank face. But for some people, thinking of the totally blank face will bring up massive resistance – the fear that he can’t have Shelly. If that’s present in a big way, then keeping Shelly in the game a bit while also detaching may be the perfect middle ground. In the end, it comes down to how it feels. Always. :)

Does that make sense?

Huge hugs,

Melody
Melody Fletcher invites you to read..Setting Boundaries – My House RulesMy Profile

Eve February 6, 2013 at 11:02

Thank you again, that does make sense. But I really feel for LK. Trying to detach while still pining for someone is like wearing a hair shirt!

I find that I am reading each of your posts over and over and over. They really are great – and practical! Thank you so much again.

Tia Sparkles February 26, 2013 at 12:29

Never seen LOA written about and explained so simply and logically(!). Damn, woman, I’m floored and so happy to have found these posts – clink clink clink all the way! Appreciation + gratitude coming your way. And sparkles! Thank.you. ~ xo, Tia.

ovenwoman November 1, 2013 at 09:43

Hey Melody, thank you so much for writing just about the only blog that actually makes sense!! You also explain things in a fun and interesting way… I like that shit. Haha but I nned some advise I have exams coming up and due to complicated family issues I HAVE to get really good grades. How can I manage to let go of this deep desperation that I’m feeling and be able to manifest my really good results?
PS. I do study like mad haha law of action in action.
Thanks

gunjan December 1, 2013 at 17:32

Wow! this is one of the best articles i’ve read all year. It clearly explains why some things fall into our lap when we make no effort and somethings run in the opposite direction even though our every waking moment is spent on it.

I’ve been stuck on someone for a while, thought he was the one for many years and believed that he would bring me lasting joy (i.e. be the one i can start the next – marriage- phase of my life). anyway that wasn’t meant to be and we both moved on but the idea of him stayed in my mind. Now that i’m single again, my mind is fixated on him even though i know he isn’t even available anymore. It’s quite a pathetic thing to go through. i’d prefer to heal on my own instead of finding a ‘distraction’ (new person) to get over this guy. maybe i’ll try your advice and ask the universe ‘for something even better’ ….

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: