How To Figure Out What You Want When You Haven’t Got A Clue

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by Melody Fletcher on September 8, 2011

A lot of my blog posts center around techniques and methods for how to get what you want in life. After all, that’s what the Law of Attraction is all about, right? Getting what you want. But what if you haven’t got a clue what you really want? What if the only thing you’re really sure of is that where you are right now, definitely isn’t it? You keep searching the internet for inspiration. You look through job sites, hoping that if you just find the right profession, the heavens will open up, angels will start to sing and a big, booming game show announcer voice will tell you that you’ve finally won the jackpot. Score! Only, every job you look at sounds just as boring as the one you have.

You’ve made lists of your qualifications and interests. Nothing is gelling for you. You’ve asked your parents, mentors, co-workers and even kids for ideas. And while being Superman does sound pretty fun, you’re not really any closer to figuring out what you truly want. You just know, this ain’t it. In the post You Already Know What Your Purpose Is, I described that we all pretty much know what our purpose is, we just often dismiss it because we can’t figure out the details of how we’ll implement it or how we can make money with it. So, deep down, you know what you want. You’ve always known.

But what if that knowledge is so deep down, that you have no friggin’ clue as to how to dig it up? What if nothing seems to resonate with you? How do you figure it out? There are tons of other blog posts and books out there that will tell you to make lists, to evaluate your preferences and talents, to research different possibilities and give you all kinds of practical advice on how to get some clarity. There’s nothing wrong with that information, but you don’t need me to regurgitate it here. First of all, if that stuff had worked for you, you wouldn’t be searching anymore and second of all, I prefer to resolve issues at the energetic root. This is why you keep coming back here. That, or the funny pictures. I’ll keep using funny pictures, just in case.

Back the hell off

There’s a reason that the more you focus on a problem, the more elusive the solution seems to be. The reason is that the frequency of a problem is different from the frequency of its solution. So, as long as you’re adding to the energy of the question, you can’t receive the answer. You have to re-tune yourself to the frequency of what you want. You have to get ready to receive the clarity you’re looking for. And the only way to do that is to back off from focusing so intently on your issue. As long as you’re thinking “I don’t know what I want! What do I want? How can I figure out what I want?”, you’re not going to figure it out.

If you’re vibrating at the frequency of what you don’t want, or of not having what you want, the perfect solution could slap you right in the face and you wouldn’t recognize it. If you’re not a match to the solution, it will pass you right by. Just take a little break from obsessing over figuring this out.

Stop looking for the finish line. You can’t see it. Ever.

When searching for our life path, most of us will make the mistake of trying to figure it all out. We want to know how our lives will play out from now until we die. How will this decision affect me in twenty years? What will this mean for my kids down the line? Is there a long-term future for me on this path? How much money can I make if I do this? How exactly will I make this money? We want to see the finish line.

Except, here’s the thing that no one ever told us: we can’t see the finish line. Ever. That’s because the finish line doesn’t stay in one place. As we go through life, making decisions, adding to the energy of what we want, creating and receiving our reality, setting and achieving various goals, that finish line keeps moving. Every time we take a step towards the end goal, the finish line moves one step further away.

Let’s say that you have a crappy car, and you’ve set your sights on getting a new Honda. You’d love a car where everything works, where the windows and doors are automatic, where the upholstery is new, and where the whole car has that new car smell. When you finally get the Honda, you’re ecstatic. For a while. But then you notice that the car isn’t all that powerful when you go up hills, and you realize that you’d really like a 4 wheel drive. You notice that the beautiful shiny black color you chose shows off the tiniest bit of dirt, and you end up washing the damn car every three days. Even though the air conditioning is great, you’d really love it if you could open the roof on nice Summer days. You realize that what you REALLY want is a Jeep. When you get the Jeep, you’re ecstatic. For a while. Then, you notice… Do you see where I’m going with this? Our desires keep on expanding. The finish line keeps moving.

Right now, all you can see and focus on is that Honda. You have no way of knowing what desires owning and driving that car will lead to, or what the next car will cause you to want, and so on. Will you ultimately end up with a Ferrari or an electric car? Perhaps you’ll end up on an island and travel everywhere by bicycle. How could you possibly know? You can’t. That’s the point. So stop trying to figure out your entire life right now.

You can’t ever see the finish line. But you can see and focus on the next milestone. That would be the Honda, in this analogy, in case you missed it. In terms of a life path, the next milestone is that idea you had or that thing your intuition told you to do. Stop worrying about where it will lead. Stop looking for your next activity to be the one that answers all of your questions. The next activity is the one that will lead to the next activity, which will lead to the next activity, which will lead you to the thing that rings all of your bells.

Raise your vibration to get clarity

Each vibrational frequency comes with a certain level of clarity. The higher the frequency, the more clarity you have access to. So, if you want to gain a greater perspective and receive more answers, you’ll need to raise your vibration.

In this case, the best way to do that is to get off the damn subject of finding your life path (back off) and go focus on something else that already makes you feel good for a little while. It doesn’t matter what that subject is. The idea is simply to feel better. That better feeling is your indicator that you’ve raised your vibration. So, when you feel stable in that new higher vibration, when you feel well and truly better, you can go back to the whole life path question and take a new look at it. You’ll now have a new perspective – you’ll have access to answers you couldn’t see before.

Focus on the essence of what you want

At this point, you’re still not ready to get into details. If you focus too specifically on the issue, you’ll end up right where you started. So, put down the laser pointer and the spread sheets, already. You’ve probably heard that if you look at what you don’t want, this can help you figure out what you do want – generally its opposite. This is true. Only, you don’t want to focus on specifics, but rather on the essence of what you don’t and do want.

Let’s look at an example: You’re in an office job. You hate your butthole boss, your co-workers are lazy and boring and the work is uninspiring. Now, you could say that you hate your boss and you wish you had a nicer boss. You hate your coworkers and you wish you had exciting, fun, inspiring coworkers. You hate your job and you wish you had a more rewarding job. Only, I’ll bet that you’ve done that exercise already and got stuck on the part where you now come up with what that more rewarding job could be. That’s because you were doing it wrong.

Instead of focusing on the details of your current job and using them to try and figure out the details of your next one, focus on the feelings. What does your current job feel like – emotionally? Are you bored? Are you uninspired? Do you get angry? Do you feel powerless? It doesn’t matter why you feel that way, just identify those negative feelings.

Now, you can use that list to figure out what you’d like to feel like. Inspired, excited, like you’re making a contribution, like you have a say in the decisions, etc. Perhaps what you want is a job that allows you the freedom to be with your family more. You want a job that makes you feel free, instead of locked in. If your current job doesn’t allow you to make many decisions (perhaps you’re in middle management), then you could be looking for the feeling of empowerment and validation. Do you feel insecure in your current job? Then you’re most likely looking for the feeling of security.

Remember that you do not have to try and figure out HOW you will get all of those things. Most people, when asked to do this exercise, will immediately censor all of their answers. “I want freedom. Oh, but how the hell can I feel freedom when I’m working for someone else? My boss would never allow me to work from home…” Stop that! Just allow yourself to focus on the feelings of what you want and actually experience them for a while. What would it feel like to have a job that allows me to work whatever hours are convenient for me? What would it feel like to not be afraid of getting laid off anymore? What would it feel like to love my work and be passionate about it? Don’t censor, just experience it. Give yourself full, unbridled permission to daydream and do this on a regular basis.

By following this exercise, you are actually tuning yourself to the frequency of what you want – the vibration of freedom, security, passion, etc. Do this consistently, and the Law of Attraction will begin to bring you circumstances and events that match those feelings and will lead you further down the path. That next milestone will be revealed.

Have the balls to go for the next milestone

Having raised your vibration and having tuned yourself consistently to the frequency of what you want, you’ll begin to get some impulses or insights. These are those milestones we talked about. It’s at this point that a lot of people make a huge mistake – they begin to get scared. They go back to wanting to see the entire path laid out before them, instead of just running toward the next milestone. They judge the milestone against the criteria of what they want that finish line to be and find that it comes up short. And then they give up and stay exactly where they are.

Using the office job example from above, let’s say you’ve raised your vibration, and then started to focus regularly and consistently on the feeling of what you want, without getting into any details. And then you get the impulse to go for a job in a different department. The job pays pretty much the same and you don’t really have all the skills you need. But you have this strong feeling that you should apply. You begin to think that maybe you’re not really qualified, that you might make a fool of yourself, that the similar pay isn’t really worth the hassle, that changing departments might send a message of disloyalty and leave you more vulnerable to lay-offs, etc. Also, you keep thinking of all those great feelings you want, and well, this new job just doesn’t fit the criteria. It’s not a work at home job. It doesn’t pay any better. And you can’t see how it would be more secure. It doesn’t match the finish line. So, you stay where you are.

What you didn’t know is that this job was a stepping stone that would’ve allowed you to be promoted into a much better paying position and allowed you to work at home within six months. Even though the pay was the same, the boss was much nicer, the work was more inspiring and the coworkers were way cooler. Not only that, but this new job was just a stepping stone to running your own division, a job that came with stock options, which turned into major moolah once the company went public, something you didn’t even know was a possibility. So instead of lying on a beach somewhere two years from now and slurping drinks out of a coconut while your kids learn to surf, you’re still stuck in your cubicle, wondering if a noose made of paperclips could bear the load of your weight and looking for the damn finish line.

You’ve got to have the balls to follow through on your intuitive impulses. If something feels good, if it feels right, stop analyzing it to death. Stop judging it. Just do it. Go for it. It’s the next step, the next milestone on your way to that finish line you can’t see (so stop looking already. I know you’re still doing it.) The first time you follow your gut, it’ll be scary as hell. Trust me, I know that. But every time you take a step in the right direction and notice how things get just a little bit better, how you’re lining up more and more with what you want, little by little, you’ll begin to trust your intuition. Each subsequent step will become easier until you can’t imagine NOT following your inner voice. You’ll get to the point where if something feels right, you do it, no matter how scary it is. Because after you’ve successfully passed a few milestones, you’ll KNOW that you’re on the right path, even if you can’t see the finish line.

Now it’s your turn: Have you followed your intuition and reached for some milestones? Looking back, can you see how some of your scariest decisions ended up being the best ones? Can you see how the steps you’ve taken lead to you where you are today, a place you could never have envisioned before getting here? Share your experiences in the comments!

Oh, and don’t forget to help a blogger out by sharing this post on FaceTwitStumbleBook or whatever. :)

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{ 44 comments }

Christine September 8, 2011 at 15:29

Hi Melody!

It’s amazing how your blogs always respond to where I am on that certain day. Am I using the LOA to receive deliberately the personal development articles I need to read in response to questioning my vibration level?! I’m at this “scary” deadline point in my week and I really needed this push towards just a baby step more…I was looking at that famous finish line again! Your intuition is correct about us “searching on the internet for inspiration”‘ type people! Thanks for helping in me again on my work in process adventure!

Be well,
Christine

Melody Fletcher September 8, 2011 at 23:50

Hi Christine,

You are creating everything in your reality. Everything. Yes, even this blog post. :)
In a sense, the questions you have within you kind pull answers through me energetically. So, I write to answer the questions that are out there, and those who resonate with the answers find me. That’s how co-creation works. If we’re a little bit of a match, you may find one or two useful things on my site. If we’re more of a match, you may find the right answer at just the right time on my blog on several occasions. The Universe is a wonderful, awesome, magical place. This is why I love my work so much. It just gets better and better.

And yes, I attracted you to me to. Cause you’re awesome. :)

Hugs!
Melody
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Dia September 8, 2011 at 15:35

Hi Melody,

I have been there! For me personally, I started asking myself some questions like “if I could do anything in the world right now, what would I be doing?” What do I enjoy doing even if I have a billion dollars and money is not an issue? I started pondering these statements and within a few months I have found my purpose and what I wanted to do. What it comes down to is taking some time to think, think, and think. Meditation helps in the process as well. Thanks for sharing Melody, great job!

Melody Fletcher September 8, 2011 at 23:52

Hi Dia,

Thanks for adding this great insight. It does come down to taking the time to line up your energy first. That’s what it always comes down to… If I could just bottle that somehow, man, I’d be rich. He, he.

Hugs!
Melody
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Vishnu September 8, 2011 at 16:53

Thanks for this post Melody. Although I’ve not realized what I’ve been doing in work situations, I’ve definitely started moving towards the things that are of higher vibration. I’m leaving behind the things I don’t like and moving towards the things I do. I just didn’t realize that’s not a bad way to get to what I want. I wished I had more clarity and could see the finish line – even though you tell us we can’t:) And wish I could figure out my entire life right now! Isn’t it better to figure out the destination before leaving home? You’ll probably say something about enjoying the journey and raising the vibration along the way!?! :)

Melody Fletcher September 8, 2011 at 23:59

Hi Vishnu,

I believe it was one of your comments that inspired this post. Thanks for that, buddy.

The best way to go about making changes is to line up your energy and then just allow it to happen (instead of trying to make it happen). The things you don’t want kind of just gravitate out of your existence, and the things you do want come easily. It’s gradual and natural and effortless (as in, no hard work. Action is often part of the equation, it just feels really good). We’re so conditioned to want to make it happen, that we don’t even consider the “easy” way as viable. But it totally is.

We’ve also been taught that goal setting is like going on a trip. We should be able to see the goal clearly, like a destination and then plot the course. But that’s a totally false premise. Life isn’t like a trip to New York. It’s more like going on a treasure hunt, with each destination giving you the clue to the next destination. And each place you get to, gives you another part of a story. So, if you jumped right to the end, not only would you miss out on the journey, but the story wouldn’t make any sense at all.
You need to go through each vibrational layer in order to get prepared for the next one. If someone showed you the end destination to you right now, it wouldn’t make sense to you. You wouldn’t even recognize it. You wouldn’t be a match.

So yeah, enjoy the damn journey and raise your freakin’ vibration. LOL.

Hugs!
Melody
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Vishnu September 9, 2011 at 06:42

I knew you’d say that!

But it is a different way of thinking. You’re saying instead of moving towards a specific goal – move towards higher vibrations. hmmm…I will have to think about that new approach (anti all personal development theory way of thinking) before applying it.

Derrek September 8, 2011 at 18:29

Officially one of my favorite posts, ever. This is an issue I’ve struggled with before, and yes, like Leprechauns it can be an a$$hole of a problem. But like you said, the best way is to follow your gut and jump-in. There’s just absolutely no way to make a map of your entire life. I can attest to that. One day I just mustered-up the guts to follow my instincts and aim for the next milestone. I didn’t care if it would lead me somewhere, or if it would make me money. I just felt happy doing it, and went on. It worked.

I’m going to relate to Vishnu’s comment above and admit that I used to want to know how my entire life would be. I kept wanting to know the destination until one day I just woke up and said “Wtf…I can’t get to a destination without travelling there first! I’ve got to pass a couple of landmarks, checkpoints, sights and sounds, before I get to my nearest destination. Might as well just choose the most kick-ass route.”

For those who have yet to try this, it’ll be difficult to just ‘let go’ for a bit, and this may be an uneasy concept to understand. But I can seriously say that when you DO do it, you’ll understand. It’s not one of those things you can guarantee via words. You’ll just have to try it for yourself to understand how it works.

Melody Fletcher September 9, 2011 at 00:01

Hi Derrek,

Thank you so much for adding your own story here. And you’re absolutely right. You don’t really GET this stuff until you’ve experienced it. Hopefully posts like this, and comments like yours will inspire someone out there to give it a shot. :)

Hugs!
Melody
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Sean Cox September 8, 2011 at 22:29

Thanks Melody. Helpful advice. Yes, focusing on the problem rather than the solution–simple idea but powerful, breaking that “loop” we can have a tendency to get stuck in. I like the idea of focusing on the next milestone. I was recently reading a book on winning the mental game of tennis (even though I don’t play tennis haha), and author was talking about just focusing on making the next shot the best shot (I think I just said it better than he did :) rather than on winning the match. Sounds kinda like what you’re saying with the “next milestone” idea.
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Melody Fletcher September 9, 2011 at 00:03

Hi Sean,

What a great analogy! Tennis matches are won one shot at a time. Any coach will tell you to keep your eye on the ball. Don’t look at the score board, don’t dream about the trophy, watch the damn ball and make the next shot. Be here, right now. That’s all you can do. Thanks for adding this fantastic insight!

Hugs!
Melody
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Kristina L. September 9, 2011 at 01:29

Hi there, Melody!
I guess it is all about having guts and admitting that even if you do not have a clue of what you want at the moment, you will find out soon, as long as you do not let things go off easily. I like the analogy you made with Honda and the Jeep. If we focus on the moment, the goals will be eventually set. But, just dreaming about the final outcome without making the steps won’t do much…although, there is nothing bad about daydreaming from time to time.:) Wouldn’t you agree?
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Melody Fletcher September 9, 2011 at 23:53

Hi Kristina,

If you’re daydreaming about an outcome, you know what you want… ;)
Daydreaming is great (it’s essentially visualization) as long as it feels good. If it stops feeling good, you need to back off. You’ve got some resistance. You either don’t believe that it will actually happen, or you’re trying too hard to figure out the HOW.

Thanks so much for stopping by!

Hugs,
Melody
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patricia September 9, 2011 at 02:35

Oh there is that quality of the 20/20 hindsight being so beautiful as I read this post…
I have worked a lot of jobs…and now I know what my life purpose is – the journey of healing is to be able to share my gifts with others and inspire them to be their best self…
Plus I have a Utopian Side car of wanting the world to be a better place…
I have had the pleasure of working hard and often on my life purpose….each step being recognize in hindsight as the stair to the next move and opening…
But and there is a BUT….I have never made money enough to live on in my whole life…I have always been on the edge and the folks I attract do not want to hear my survival skills at all or about the hard work that entailed.
The want to see that there is a financially secure situation now….me too on that score.
I know my life purpose, but am having a hard time being discovered and making enough money to also afford some relaxation and just secured pleasure…I don’t need a drink on the beach….I just need those moments of pure security…
I would like a cleaning person too….I dislike disorder and mess….and cleaning the floors and bathrooms is just too much some days…
and as I said on my last comment…I have lettuce…I am ready to eat something else.
:)
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Melody Fletcher September 9, 2011 at 23:57

Hi Patricia,

I think there are plenty of folks out there that want to hear your survival skills. And plenty of them will want to pay you for that knowledge. I think you have a belief of some kind that you can’t make money doing what you love. I wrote an article about this, which may help. You can find it here: Spiritual and Rich – An Oxymoron?

I had a cleaning person before I started working from home, and they’re freaking awesome! I was working these horrendous 80 hour weeks, and I’d love coming home every Thursday to a clean house. Oh man. :)

Hugs!
Melody
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vikas jain September 9, 2011 at 10:52

as long as I know that only universe has solution of one’s problem.so how could we focus on solution instead of problem?
as you have commented-”There’s a reason that the more you focus on a problem, the more elusive the solution seems to be. The reason is that the frequency of a problem is different from the frequency of its solution. So, as long as you’re adding to the energy of the question, you can’t receive the answer. You have to re-tune yourself to the frequency of what you want. “

Melody Fletcher September 9, 2011 at 23:58

Hi Vikas,

I’m really glad you found an answer in this article. Thanks so much for your comment!

Hugs,
Melody
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Justin | Mazzastick September 9, 2011 at 14:09

Hey Melody,
The reason that people don’t like change is because of the fear of the unknown. I believe that when we can stop resisting our fear then our mind can work effortlessly to create the outcome that we desire.
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Fred Tracy September 9, 2011 at 21:17

True that. It seems so strange that the way through fear is actually THROUGH fear, not the resistance, yet that’s the way it is.
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Melody Fletcher September 10, 2011 at 00:01

Absolutely Justin and Fred,

We have to move through the fear. When we stop pushing against what we want and just go for it, everything begins to shift. And you’re so right, Justin. The fear of not knowing what’s going to happen is enormous and debilitating. The problem is that knowing what IS going to happen isn’t an option. So if we keep waiting for that, we’ll stay stuck where we are… Not fun.

Hugs!
Melody
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Fred Tracy September 9, 2011 at 21:16

Fantastic article, Melody!

I love your point about the finish line. In truth, there is no finish line. Life is simply not a race.

The part about backing the hell off is something I wish I learned a long time ago. I think so many people focus on only the problems in life, unknowingly attracting more of that that bad energy to them.

Can you get a TV station or something and start broadcasting this stuff into the minds of the masses? I think we need it. :-)
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Melody Fletcher September 10, 2011 at 00:03

Hahahaha. Yes, let’s brainwash the public for their own good.

Actually, the Universe is already broadcasting this stuff to the masses. And they are starting to hear it. More and more people are getting fed up with being unhappy and powerless and doing something about it. Look all around you. You can see it everywhere, providing you’re not focusing on the ones who aren’t getting it… ;)

Hugs!
Melody

Anne @ Psychic Awareness September 9, 2011 at 23:12

I am a new reader to your blog and I absolutely love it. When I first became interested in Law of Attraction I quickly got stuck because I didn’t know what the heck I wanted! I am fortunate in that I have always had high passion for my work but I was clueless in other areas of my life. It makes perfect sense to me that you can’t attract what you want by focusing on what you don’t like. It can be difficult though to make that jump to focusing on what it is that you truly desire. Thanks again for the wonderful post. I will be sure to put it to practice!
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Melody Fletcher September 10, 2011 at 00:06

Hi Anne,

Welcome to Deliberate Receiving! I’m so glad you attracted this blog. ;)
This principle applies to everything in life. You can’t get happy while you’re complaining. you can’t get rich by bitching about how poor you are. You can’t fall in love while calling all men bastards… etc. It’s so simple, but boy have we ever been trained to focus on what we don’t want and try to fix it… Let me know how it goes!

Hugs!
Melody

Jimmy/Life Architect September 10, 2011 at 05:53

Hi Melody,

Thanks for this elaborate and useful post. Certainly clarified some of my thoughts.

When it comes to clarifying whether we are on track doing our purpose, I have found the following criteria useful:

1) Do you enjoy and love what you are doing?
2) Can you do the thing forever?
3) Can you do it for free?
4) Is what you are doing of service to others?
5) Are you seeking constant improvements?

If the thing that your think is your purpose meets this criteria, than I think you are on track already.

Cheers
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Melody Fletcher September 10, 2011 at 11:10

Hey Jimmy!

Thanks so much for adding your valuable insight. I totally agree with your criteria, with one tiny caveat: You don’t have to necessarily find something that you’re willing to do for the rest of your life. If you do, that’s great. But often, the thing that rings your bells is just the next step or milestone. So, if we keep looking for that activity that will satisfy us forever, we may never find it (that would be the finish line).

Personally, I’m multi-passionate. I came to the conclusion long ago that there is no ONE activity that will keep me engaged and passionate forever. Even if what I’m doing now never ceases to ring my bells, I’m absolutely certain that many aspects of my business will change over time. I’ll always be looking for new projects, new applications, new methods, etc. I think it’s more important to find something that we’re passionate about NOW.

Thanks again for your incredible comment. You rock.

Hugs!
Melody

Sara September 10, 2011 at 13:18

Learn to follow your intuiton, to follow your hunches, don´t reason, don´t argue, just go for it. Great post!
You can´t figure everything out by yourself. Though deep thinking is a very productive and necessary process to perform, results do not always come through by it. Do what you can by thinking, but don´t insist on your reasoning faculty to bring you the answers you need to know.
Trusting our intuition isn´t risky at all (not trusting it is). But I think we need to practice to follow it, so we can reap the fuits of our intuitive endeavors more frequently.

I enjoyed this one very much! (though I´m still not resonating with anything for a while now.. hmm :-) )

Sara

Melody Fletcher September 10, 2011 at 23:36

“Trusting your intuition isn’t risky at all. Not trusting it is.” I LOVE this Sara!!!That should be on a bumper sticker!! :)

Thanks so much for adding your incredible insight here. Just keep focusing on what you want. The hardest part is trusting that inspiration will come…

Hugs,
Melody

Jayne Kopp September 15, 2011 at 20:24

Hi Melody, I always get a kick out of your posts. If truth be told, you talk or converse a lot like I do. I often ‘speak’ with my inside voice and use some of the same comical expressions that sometimes leave people with an eyebrow raised! ha ha. I can just imagine a live conversation between us! we could show them a thing or two about a thing or two!

Now back to you post. I truly believe… no wait, I KNOW that the finish line does keep moving. Things change and the universe is in a constant state of movement. When we are aligned, we are too and we really have to go with it, yet stay focused on what it is we want. We may not always get it the way we envisioned with a nice red bow on top of it, but I do believe things always work out just the way they are mean to.

Thanks for the great read and good reminder.

Best

Jayne
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Melody Fletcher September 15, 2011 at 20:46

LOL Jayne. Didn’t they tell us as kids to use our “inside voice”? ;) I’m sure we’d get along like a house on fire. I love the British sense of humor and have been in Europe so long, I sometimes have to remind myself not to use British euphemisms and references, he, he.

You’re so right. Sometimes what we think we want, isn’t what we truly want. We may have our heart set on a shiny red car, but the Universe knows that this manifestation wouldn’t fulfill the essence of what we truly want. This is why we shouldn’t get too hung up on details, but just on feeling good. A little faith in the process helps, too. Everything is always working out for us (stolen from Jerry Hicks)!

Hugs!
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Latoya J. Williams November 28, 2011 at 04:27

Just what I needed to read…thank you! I am definitely in the need of “backing the hell off” and raising my vibration. I’ve been fixating too much on what it is that I “need” to be doing and what I don’t like about my life right now. That narrow view has been getting in the way of me taking the next step toward something that can help me.

Melody Fletcher November 28, 2011 at 20:38

Hi Latoya,

Welcome to Deliberate Receiving! We’ve all been conditioned to do just that – focus on what we don’t want. It’s so easy to fall back into that pattern. But you also manifested a blog post that slapped you back out of it. If you’re going to take the blame, you’d better take the credit, too! :)

Hugs! (And thanks again for the tweet love!)

Melody
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Laura June 17, 2012 at 09:32

I have a new addiction and it is this blog. :)
Hm. Seems like I allow my fear to dictate all my choices and in past jobs, I have passed up opportunities I certainly wished I hadn’t. But then, wasn’t that really my path anyway?

I suppose I will relax a bit more in trying to “figure out” my purpose. I’ve been doing it all my adult life and I still feel no closer. Here’s an op. to let go I guess, huh?

Thanks for the great insight and of course the giggle. A noose made of paperclips…LOfreakin’L!

Melody Fletcher June 18, 2012 at 17:28

Hey Laura,

What most people don’t realize is that your passion is not a thing or an action – it’s a feeling (I will be writing a post about this soon…) and there are many activities that could match that feeling. The ideas that come, those “passions” are manifestations that come to you when you relax, let go and allow yourself to feel better and better.

It’s all about feeling good.

And thank you so much for your kind words. :)

Huge hugs,

Melody
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Alice June 22, 2012 at 13:13

Hi Melody,

I finally found what I think I was jumping all around your blog for! This is the question I have been asking for the past seven years. No I do not exaggerate. I’ve been in pointless circles for that long! (Depressed for longer)
What do you do when you’ve become so used to a very low vibration ( I used to consider myself depressed now me and everyone else is just used to me not being happy or even satisfied with my life, there’s barely a blink of an eyelid, people stopped caring they just expect it for me. We’ve all become bored of the life of Alice, even Alice!) that I can’t even see the Milestone or stepping stone.

Is it possible to be lost for so long, stretching into a decade you are so far from the starting line these topics are so difficult for me.

When I read about raising vibration and getting rid of resistance- my resistance makes me lose concentration!

Is there baby steps before the baby steps for people like me? This material is above my head. I need clear, easy things to improve all this.

Melody Fletcher June 23, 2012 at 13:45

First of all, my dear Alice, you are not lost. The fact that you are reading every post on this blog tells me that you are listening to your intuition. There is something here for you, you feel it and you’re compelled to keep reading. It’s not really so much about the words and the explanations, although those help, as it is about energy behind the words. And the energy behind my words is pretty high. You’re letting in your answers bit by bit. You’re far from lost. This is your path, right here.

Second, if you’re just generally negative and have been for a long time, my recommendation is to start off with meditation. Just meditate for 20 minutes a day and let that retune you to a higher vibration. Don’t try to fix anything, don’t try to shift specific thoughts. That will backfire. Just meditate. It’s like backing off enough so that you can be released from the grip that all this negative energy has on you (it has a lot of attractive power because you’ve given it a lot of focus over the years) and when you’ve done that, you can begin to turn in a more positive direction.

This post explains the process: http://www.deliberateblog.com/2012/01/05/what-to-do-when-the-vibrational-ladder-doesnt-work/

Essentially, you need to back off and get much more general. Do that and you’ll be amazed at how quickly you’ll feel better. Take it easy with this.

Huge hugs!

Melody
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Alice June 24, 2012 at 09:05

Dear Melody,

I have now read all your replies. Thank you very much! I appreciate your thoughts and time. (They come up in my inbox which is a really handy system as I can re-read them and look again if I want to.)

I thought there was a sign there with your name. Melody is the main character of a book I wanted to write (she’s (Melody) not very fortunate but triumphs in the end-don’t worry!) but it’s not time yet. I still have a massive writers block. (Which is a shame as that’s the only thing I know I’m passionate about. I’ll write a page or so and then get stuck and jump to another idea. With big year gaps between each burst. There’s no shortage of creative ideas-just sticking to one and padding it out loses all enthusiasm. Also I cry during the sad parts happening to my fictional character. It’s something needed to be expressed but so hard to compose it. I can’t help but feel LOA-wise- writers get hit by the shrapnel of their work.) Also as you can see- easily distracted, a slave to the passive voice and fragmented sentence- according to Lord Microsoft-Word! (Grammar Nazi that guy is!)

“writers get hit by the shrapnel of their work”-haha! I made a quote! But I digress…

I’ve had meditation come up many times. I’ve avoided it like the plague due to the ever shortening attention span. I have a tendency to fall asleep!

But you make a very good point. I’m overthinking and being very specific when I need to be more general. I do need to back-off. I’m suffocating the problem. Smothering it lol! It’s like strangling something you want answers from. I shall back off. :-) Thankyou for reminding me. The poor universe would be smothered by me!

My dreams tell me the same thing. I had a dream where a blonde man I think represented a spirit guide tried to walk into my house but he couldn’t reach me because of all the piles of boxes. I know the house is my mind and the boxes are too many thoughts. I cannot hear the answers!

So I shut up and quietly listen! I hope I’ll hear them soon!

Now to read that article you recommended. I’ll also try meditation. If I managed that- anyone could!

Thanks again.

Melody Fletcher June 26, 2012 at 00:55

You’re very welcome Alice. :)

Hugs,
Melody
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Kat September 19, 2012 at 23:06

Melody,

This is one of the most important posts! It is pertinent to all aspects of life, not just jobs, yet it is vital in a situation you just do not like. Did God give us imagination so that we can be closer to his essence, in a way? Is it a way we can connect to the universe easier?

Feel better and then… is the motto. I keep repeating this to myself and do my utmost to distract myself from my problems and get into a good vibe, even though my brain obsesses and drives me crazy, I try to make the thoughts that entered my head go out the other ear and keep smiling.

Life is about constant building because the universe is constantly expanding. I like thinking of things in terms of the universe because that is how I understand it better. Universal expansion and happiness are the name of the game, so we need to be ready and go on the ride and not stagnate where we are unhappy. But being ready means we need to feel good. Got to remember that.

Melody Fletcher September 20, 2012 at 00:27

Hey Kat,

Glad you liked it! Our imagination is a tool of creation. You can create anything you can imagine. In fact, it always starts there, whether we know it or not. :)

Huge hugs!
Melody
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Elizabeth November 27, 2012 at 01:06

Melody,

I found your thoughts to be very helpful, and it doesn’t make me feel so alone knowing that so many others are going through the same thing.
You said not to look for a “Finish Line,” but it is too much to hope for a light at the end of the tunnel?
Why is it so hard to find direction and purpose in one’s life?
I can’t help but always feel lost.

Thanks!
Elizabeth

Melody Fletcher November 27, 2012 at 21:20

Hey Elizabeth,

have you read the post on finding your passion? It may help you get a lot more clarity. You can find it here: Find Your Purpose In Life + Free Workbook.

I hope that helps.

Huge hugs,
Melody
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B January 6, 2013 at 21:41

Hiya Melody,

I’m always kind of unsure what to envision when you say to ‘focus on your feelings’, just can’t seem to daydream anything up, I like to have a picture in my noggin. I mean, I’m 20 going on 40 and in a rutty dead end job (I work in a small pharmacy with a stubborn boss and butt-licker manager and a negative passion for modern medicine with no chance of getting any higher in the business unless I go to University to be a pharmacist (and clearly that is not for me xD)

I did however manage to manifest 3 dudes within the same hour when attempting to feel more attractive, but to my dismay, these were the ol’ type of dudes that you don’t really want attention from O.o At least I know I’m doing it right though I suppose ;P

It’s always been my dream to live in Australia, but I recently had the thought to take a short vacation to Sweden, found a ton of cheap flights online, but have never really been alone before (I don’t even go shopping alone, which I know sounds very dependent and my parents never fail to bring it up when I bring up travelling abroad as a conversation ^^;) so understandably I’m nervous and unsure if this is any ‘milestone’ for me to be leaping for.

Melody Fletcher January 17, 2013 at 15:28

Hey B,

It’s much easier to notice how you feel, when you expose yourself to new experiences. They will elicit a reaction from you that you can then take note of. :)

So, if you’ve been inspired to go to Sweden, on the back of asking to be more inspired, I say – go. But don’t go while being terrified. Take some time first to see yourself having a great time, meeting awesome people, and just really enjoying yourself. Don’t focus on the specifics too much.

Traveling on your own can open you to the best experiences. I spent 4 months backpacking through Europe alone. I met many amazing people along the way, and sometimes we’d travel together for a bit and then split apart again. Stay in a youth hostel or check out couchsurfing.org, and stay with friendly locals. This is how you’ll meet people right away. Buy a guide to the city you’re visiting and pick out a few things you want to see and do. If you have a bit of a plan (not too rigid), you’ll have a place to start when you get there. But don’t overplan. The best experiences come from spontaneously saying yes to something that comes along when you’re already there.

Sweden is a very safe country, so it would be a fantastic place for you to start travelling on your own. They all speak English, and yet, it is a different culture, so you’ll get to experience something different from your own country. It’s a very safe way to ease into travelling. Oh, and the people are just freaking gorgeous. So, ther’es that. :)

I hope this was helpful. Happy travels!!

Huge hugs,

Melody
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