Today’s post is another edition of “Ask Melody”, where I answer your Law of Attraction questions. So bring it on! (You know…just don’t expect a short answer…)
Fizza asks: I want to move to another location with my family. My mother wants to move, too, but she is always focusing on “how we will manage and how we will pay the rent”. My father is thinking “I want to move but I can’t afford to buy a new house or pay its rent”. I told them how the Law of Attraction works but they are not getting it. So what’s the point of my using the Law of Attraction to get the new house in my ideal location and my parents using the Law of Attraction on the “lack of new house”. Whose vibration and intention will be manifested? What should I do if I really want to move there? I can’t move alone; I love my family.
Here’s my answer:
This is a question that perplexes many – “What if my partner/parent/child/etc. and I want opposite things? Whose manifestation will win?” And what do I have to do to make sure it’s ME? (Just kidding on that last part…)
The Universe knows what you REALLY want
First of all, you don’t REALLY want the new house. You only think that you do. The house has become the symbol for what you really want – what you think needs to happen in order for you to get what you really want. But there’s a deeper reason at play here.
Why do you want to move? I’m not asking you to justify why you want to move, which would make you list all the negative aspects that you’re trying to get away from. But rather, I’m asking you to focus on what you hope to gain from moving. What are you after? More space? A safer neighborhood? Closer proximity to school? Whatever those reasons are, keep asking “why” and digging deeper until you figure out what you REALLY want. The move, again, is just the HOW that you’ve happened to come up with.
While you are looking at the situation from a rather myopic perspective – you want to move, your parents don’t, so that’s the end of that – the Universe sees the big picture. It sees what you really want – to have more space, to feel safer, etc. And the Universe also sees what your parents REALLY want, which may be to feel financially secure, for example.
The Universe has a lot more solutions than you can imagine
Given what all of you truly want, the Universe has an entire smorgasbord of solutions at its disposal. There are countless ways in which it can orchestrate a scenario in which all of you get what you desire. A house in a safer neighborhood that your parents can easily afford is just one of many possibilities. A solution IS possible, you just can’t see it right now. No matter what all the parties involved TRULY desire, the Universe can find a way to make it happen. Emphasis on “TRULY”.
To sidestep this example for a moment, let’s say you’re married and your husband wants to go sailing in the Bahamas. But you want to go to skiing in Switzerland. There are reasons that both of you want to go where you want to go, an essence to your wish, so to speak, and the Universe in all of its magnificence, could deliver the essence of both those destinations to you. This is exactly how peanut butter cups were born, people.
Ok, back to the question.
No one can create in another’s reality
You can’t create in your parents’ reality, but they also can’t create in yours. At this moment, however, you are keeping yourself from getting what you want by focusing on what you think they don’t want. You think that if you get your wish, then your parents will be unhappy or you’ll have to leave them. And by focusing on those thoughts, which feel awful, you’re not allowing the Universe to deliver the perfect solution to you – one that includes all the aspects of what you desire, including being able to stay with your parents. The Universe will never ask you to settle for less than something perfect. You will, though. We pull that crap on ourselves all the time.
If you focus on what you really want and allow the Universe to do its job, it will find a way to fulfill that wish in a way that ticks all your boxes. Yes, the Universe is that good. But, you’re the one who has to allow it.
But what about your parents’ wishes?
Your parents are also creating their own reality. You cannot create something that they are not a match to – in other words, if they are not a match to a more expensive house, then that will not be part of the solution. If, however, they have a lot of fears around money, then perhaps they will manifest a financial situation that they are not happy with (the Universe will always prove you right.) It’s important that you understand that you have no control over what they manifest. All you can do is either receive what YOU want or not. Either way, your parents will continue to create their own reality with their own vibration. The only two options you have are: 1.) they create their reality with their vibration and you allow the Universe to bring you what you want (i.e. you’re happy and they feel however they feel) or 2.) they create their reality with their vibration and you stay focused on what they don’t want (i.e. you don’t get what you want, you’re unhappy and they still feel however they feel.) Those are your choices.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t help them, however. There is a way for you to assist them, in as much as they are ready to be assisted. This doesn’t entail explaining LOA to them. In fact, if you try and they’re not a vibrational match to that explanation, they’ll probably think that you’re a little bit crazy. Although, this may not be the worst strategy, because you being branded as the town nutter may actually get them to move…
If, however, you raise your own vibration, and then focus your energy on Who They Really Are – powerful creators, spirit in human form, pure love and eternal joy (instead of unhappy humans who don’t “get” the Law of Attraction), they can’t help but be affected by your energy. Your high vibration will help them to rise up and feel better. In layman’s terms, get happy and clear enough so that your happiness and clarity rub off on them. It’s important to note that you can’t force other people to raise their vibration. But if they’re ready to feel better, and many people are, your higher vibration can help to pull them up. But you must first be in a high vibrational place yourself.
Hopefully, at this point I’ve convinced you that:
- A solution IS possible, even if you can’t see it right now.
- Your parents can’t affect your reality, but you can keep yourself from receiving what you want by worrying about their fears.
- Your parents are in charge of their own realities. Period.
- The only way to assist your parents is to raise your own vibration enough so that they’ll be affected by your amazing energy.
- Peanut butter cups are awesome.
Now, how do you actually go about getting what you want?
Focus on what you actually want
First, raise your vibration. This will help you to not only feel better, but will make the next step a lot easier. Meditate, read a funny book (or a semi-funny blog?), dance to your favorite song, do anything that makes you feel good for a significant amount of time (I’d say a few hours or even days) until you feel really good.
Second, stop focusing on the idea of moving. It’s not what you really want (the essence of what you want) and my guess is that it doesn’t feel all that good at the moment. You’ve tied all kinds of resistance to it (you don’t want to leave your parents or make them unhappy, etc.). Dig down deep and identify what you truly want and focus on that. And again, don’t worry about the HOW, just the WHY.
Third, pay attention to how you feel. Remember that your emotions are your vibrational indicator: the better you feel, the closer you are to receiving what you want.
Fourth, when thoughts come up that don’t feel good, shift your perspective on them. I’ve done my best to give you a lot of ammunition to soothe your fears in this post.
Fifth, trust that as long as you feel good, what you want is on its way. Just continue to feel good.
I’ve hit on a lot of points in this article. If you’d like to dig a little deeper into any of them, here are some additional resources:
Raising your vibration:
- Why Having Empathy is the Last Way to Help Someone
- How Can We Keep Our Family’s Vibration From Affecting Us? (Contains information on how family members affect each other’s vibrations in bad AND good ways).
How we co-create with others:
- How We Co-Create Our Reality (this article gives a technical explanation of how co-creation works. Also, there are stick figures).
- If We All Create Our Reality, How Do Competitions Work?
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