You ask, I answer. Here’s another excellent question I received from one of my lovely readers:
I’m having a lot of trouble with my love life. I’ve been single for a couple of years now and have been researching the LOA to get what I want – a perfect relationship! I have no insecurity issues, I love myself, I’m happy with my appearance, I’m motivated, etc., so I don’t think it’s a self doubt issue why I cannot manifest my dream guy.
I recently realized that I was becoming happy being single. Although I always knew that ultimately I wanted a relationship, I was relaxed about being single, and alas, I met ‘the man of my dreams’. We built a friendship, flirted and then slept together. Now he tells me that he doesn’t want to date me. I am hurt and frustrated as I really liked him, and it’s hard for me to get past this because I still have to see him regularly.
That’s it in a nutshell. I seem to attract my ‘perfect people’ but they don’t want to continue into a serious and committed relationship.
What do I need to do to attract the right partner? It seems when they do come along, they are few and very far between and they just don’t want to commit.
Here’s my answer:
What you’re doing right:
You’re doing an awful lot right, actually. You’ve found a way to be happy being single, and therefore you’re not pushing against your current reality anymore, which would keep you stuck there. You’ve raised your vibration. You’re having fun. You’re all primed up and ready to receive your manifestation. Bravo.
Generally, before we’re ready to receive our full manifestation and depending on how good we are at focusing, there’s some fine tuning that goes on before the final delivery. You’ll be a match to some or most of your manifestation, but not all of it. So, let’s say that you’re a match to 6 out of 10 frequency points. The universe will bring you evidence of those 6 points – men that have some of the qualities you want, but not all of them. And if you appreciate these qualities when you meet these men, you’ll keep yourself vibrationally aligned with those 6 points, while having the chance to line up with the other 4, as well.
If, however, you focus on the 4 points that didn’t match, and/or start to wonder why your prince hasn’t shown up yet, you actually move further away from your manifestation. You mess up the 6 points you were a match to, as well as moving even further away from the remaining 4.
What you did that didn’t serve you:
Now, it’s easier to recognize these manifestational precursors when they’re only a partial match, like 6 out of 10. It’s a lot more difficult when a 9 out of 10 comes along. And it sounds like this guy you met was a near perfect match. It felt great to be with him, he seemed to have everything you wanted, but somehow it didn’t work out.
And here’s where you got off track: Instead of recognizing him as the precursor to something even better, and appreciating the 9 points he did have, you assumed he was The One, and began to question what’s wrong with you, what’s wrong with men, and why you’re still single. And those thoughts feel bad, which is your clue that they’re moving you away from what you want.
The “far between” you mentioned is the amount of time it takes you to find your alignment again. This is how long it takes for you to feel truly better and become a match to those 10 points again (or enough of them to bring someone into your life). There are plenty of men out there, but you have be a match to them.
Here’s my advice:
- Get back into a good feeling place. Don’t use this guy as an excuse to question yourself and feel bad. You are in charge of how you feel. Claim that power.
- Keep appreciating the things you liked about him. If it hurts to do that, it’s only because you’re holding on to the thought that there must be something wrong with you, or else he’d like you more. Stop that! If he’s not a match, you don’t want him to commit. And if he were a match, he’d commit. Period.
- When you meet a man, even if he seems like he’s perfect, keep listening to your intuition. I’m not saying that you should focus on things you don’t like, but the wishful thinking syndrome can kick in when we really want to be with someone, making a man who’s not really all that great for us, seem like he’s “the one”. Your intuition will tell you if he’s the one. And if he is, you don’t have to talk yourself into it, or put up with anything, or make excuses about him. He’ll just light up your world.
- When you do meet someone who seems perfect, don’t stress or worry. The fear that he might leave you like the others did can actually mess up your vibration and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just keep yourself in a happy space and focus on everything you like about him.
- You might get it wrong from time to time, especially when you’re so close to matching the vibration you want. When you do, don’t beat up on yourself. Learn from it. What feelings, no matter how subtle, did you not pay attention to? You didn’t fail. You’re getting better and wiser and stronger. Thomas Edison failed 10.000 times before he invented the light bulb. I’m betting your track record is looking pretty stellar now, eh?
If you’re meeting near-perfect men, you’re doing extremely well. You’re almost a match, and I’m betting there are some single ladies out there reading this who are jealous of you. Don’t give up. Don’t beat up on yourself. Just keep on feeling good. There’s nothing wrong with you and you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just fine tuning. Mr. Perfect is just around the corner. All you have to do is keep moving forward, instead of running back the other way just before you get to him. I’d say good luck, but I know you’re not going to need it. Just invite me to the wedding. That will be thanks enough.
Do you have a question about the Law of Attraction you’d like an answer to? Contact Me or reply to my newsletter and I’ll answer you personally, usually within 24 hours. If I think the answer will benefit more of my readers, I’ll feature your question here on my blog.