So, you’re working on this Law of Attraction stuff. You accept that you create your reality, theoretically at least, you meditate and visualize and you’ve even noticed that things in your life are getting better. You’re feeling lighter and happier and freer than you’ve felt in a long time. You walk around with a skip in your step, or something like that. And then you go to work and Bob from accounting whom you’ve always hated, presents your idea to the boss (again!) taking the credit for something you’ve spent the last six months working on. Reality your ass. Suddenly, you don’t feel so great anymore. In fact, you want to rip his head off. You can be all spiritual again tomorrow.
Most of us have experienced a difficult co-worker or boss at one time or another. For some of us, they’ve turned into a full blown nemesis. The mere thought of them could send us off into a rant of gargantuan proportions and ruin our whole day. But if we create our own reality (and we do), how is it that we invite these people into our lives, and more importantly, what can we do about it?
First off, it’s important to realize that your nemesis is there in response to your vibration. You did, in fact, invite them in. Whatever it is that they do that upsets you so much, it’s showing you something about yourself. If, for example, they steal your work and credit, you may feel unappreciated in general. If they like to humiliate you in meetings, it’s likely that you’ve unsure of yourself. This is hard to see, especially when your buttons are being pushed on a daily basis, but trust me, there’s a reason this person is getting under your skin.
Ferreting out and shifting the vibration that’s causing your colleague to act the way they do would take care of it, but as I said, it can be incredibly hard to get analytical when all you want to do is punch them in face. I’ve been there, on more than one occasion. Because of my devotion to work (read: extreme workaholism), I played out a lot of my neuroses in the office. Hence, I had plenty of co-workers, bosses and even employees who were more than happy to play their part in mirroring my limiting beliefs back to me. I bless them all now, but I sure didn’t back then.
Many of these relationships were never successfully resolved while the “offending” party was still physically in my life. But I did manage to make a major, and most importantly, conscious shift a few years ago. Although I had been studying energy work for years, I was so bogged down by work, I kept forgetting to use it to my advantage, and it wasn’t until I created a situation so painful for myself, that I had no choice but to give up and try something else. Doing energy work was my last resort, instead of my first one.
I had some in-company clients (they worked for the same company as I did, only or a completely different division) overseas who had each been with the company for 30+ years and saw me as relatively junior. These were men who were used to yelling (not saying) “jump” and having everyone around them do their best to hover in mid air. They ran their operations like military outfits and they were the dictators. There was no room for discussion, no room for human emotions and they certainly weren’t used to hearing the word “no”. Actually, military is not quite accurate. Mafia would be a better word.
Suffice it to say, I ran my end of the business a bit differently. When they demanded that I mistreat my staff to meet unreasonable and completely unnecessary demands, I said “no”. And I said “no” a lot. I was willing to compromise, I pointed out that essentially, we all wanted the same thing – a well run, efficient and cost effective operation. But to no avail. I was screamed at almost daily (sometimes several times a day) on conference calls. They were simply outraged that I would not simply say “yes sir” and get on with it. They couldn’t believe that I dared to express an opinion – that I had a mind of my own. I tried to resolve the situation in all the conventional ways – I tried reasoning with them and ran headfirst into a wall of condescension. I invited senior (very senior) managers to join the calls, to keep the peace and back me up. This worked like a charm until the next phone call, when I was on my own again, and the bullying would commence with even more vigor. I consulted HR, who advised that I record the calls and file a report – essentially declaring war on some very powerful opponents, and pouring gasoline on an already raging fire. The situation just kept getting worse, and I went home every night, emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. Until one Friday night, when I decided that I just couldn’t take it anymore.
I couldn’t see why I had created this situation, and couldn’t even admit that I had done so. I was in too much pain. I couldn’t do that kind of work in such an emotional state. I was angry, sure, but most of all, I just wanted it to stop. I didn’t care what it took, I was willing to swallow my pride, to do pretty much anything reasonable to resolve the situation. There was only one condition: I still wanted to be able to protect my employees. I wasn’t willing to accept a resolution that would harm them. So, my desire was defined: I wanted them to stop screaming at me and trying to bully me. I wanted them to stop being so nasty and just work with me instead of against me. I wanted them to see that we were on the same side.
And then it became clear to me: I had to make peace with them, in my own head. I didn’t have to talk to them, I didn’t have to persuade them or convince them of anything. I had to make peace with them energetically. For me. This had nothing to do with them, that much I recognized, and in order to resolve the situation, I had to make peace with the situation.
I tried to forgive them, but I was too angry, too hurt. I attempted to see them in a new light, as people who were also just trying to do the best they could. That helped a bit, but it didn’t get me there. My mind couldn’t understand why they were so unreasonable. I was still too close to the situation. So, I kept taking a step back. Whenever I feel that I’m too emotional about something, when my feelings about something are so strong they’re preventing me from finding other perspectives, I widen my view and look at the bigger picture. I keep increasing the view until I’ve created enough distance to settle my emotional turmoil. I didn’t know to do this back then, but I did it instinctively. I always say that we don’t have to study this stuff to know it. We’re born with the knowledge, we just have to remember it.
I kept taking a step back until I was able to see these two men not as human beings, but as souls. They were spirit in physical form, just like me. And when I looked at them through that lens, I was able to identify with them. I was able to see them without anger or resentment. And that’s when I felt some relief. I had shifted my vibration on the subject – I had found a way to shift my perspective and view these two individuals in a different light. And from that perspective, I talked to them. I asked them to see that we were all working towards the same goal. I told them I was on their side, and that I didn’t want to be their enemy. In that moment, I didn’t feel that we were adversaries. I felt connected to them. And then, I did something I would never have thought I’d be able to do: I sent them love. I sent it to their spirits, not their human selves, but that didn’t matter. This whole process took about two hours, after which, I’m pretty sure I took a nap.
Fast forward to the next Monday. Remember that I had not had a physical conversation with them, I hadn’t taken any action between Friday night and Monday morning except the energy work I just described. But from that day on, everything changed. The phone calls went from several times a day to once or twice a week. They no longer screamed at me. They weren’t my best friends, but they remained civil. They stopped the micro-management and started trusting my methods. For the most part, they left me alone, but even when they didn’t, they were respectful and reasonable. Two hours of working on myself had fixed months of suffering.
I remember this incident so clearly because it was one of the first big successes I had consciously working with my own vibration. I instantly created change in my physical world by shifting my energy. I discovered the incredible leverage that we have when working with energy – seemingly impossible situations can be resolved in a matter of minutes. And I proved to myself, once and for all, that everything in my reality, even other people, is there in response to me and what I’m putting out there. It all starts with me. And in your reality, it all starts with you.
So, if you’re currently struggling with a workplace nemesis, try using the method above to shift your energy. You may not be able to see the issue they’re mirroring back to you (if you can, all the better), but that doesn’t mean you can’t improve the situation anyway. All you have to do is make a shift within yourself. See the situation differently, shift your perspective. Pick a vantage point as far up as you need to. You might want to start my sending love to all human beings, for example. That’ll be a lot easier than sending love directly to the a-hole at the office. Work your way up to that point incrementally. I promise you, you can accomplish great things in a very small amount of time. The results you’ll attain will amaze you. They certainly did me.
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